The Tucker Carlson Show - Author Tucker Max left behind a wild life of partying to settle down on a Texas homestead with his wife and kids.
Episode Date: May 3, 2024If you remember Tucker Max from his books about drunken womanizing, you may be shocked to find out what he’s doing now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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About 20 years ago, a recent law school graduate called Tucker Max started posting his experiences,
the details of his dating life, on the internet.
He became a sensation.
He wrote a bunch of best-selling books, sold millions of copies,
the most famous of which was called I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.
Not everyone likes Tucker Max.
A lot of people hated Tucker Max, but nobody could deny that he was smart.
He was a beautiful prose stylist, Tucker Max. A lot of people hated Tucker Max, but nobody could deny that he was smart.
He was a beautiful prose stylist, not something you normally find in people writing about hooking up with ladies and getting loaded, but he was.
And then he retired around 2012. He stopped writing about that stuff
and receded from public view. And then a few years ago, he reemerged as a very different person,
as someone whose entire life was devoted to his own family,
at a level most people can't relate to. He became a homesteader. What an interesting progression.
We thought it'd be worth spending some time hearing how that happened and what it's like
to truly prepare for the bad times on behalf of your family. Tucker Max joins us in studio now.
Tucker Max, thank you so much. Thanks for having me. It was great to meet you. Yes, you too.
So I just have to add, mostly I want to hear about what you're doing now, but I just have
to ask, how did you wind up? You went to University of Chicago undergrad?
Famously the least fun school in America.
It's earned its reputation.
It's earned its reputation. And then you went to Duke Law School, which is a douche factory,
obviously.
No, it is. I can't argue.
But then you wrote these accounts of your life, which sounded like youche factory, obviously. No, it is. I can't argue. But then you wrote these
accounts of your life, which sounded like you were in a fraternity at Alabama. Yeah. Like,
how did this happen? Well, it's the benefit of going to the least fun undergrad is I didn't
have any of my experiences in college when I was too young to appreciate how fun they were.
And I kind of started having them in law school when, you know, because I got to law school, I graduated in three years from Chicago. And the cool part about Chicago is I
got to law school and I basically already learned the hard parts of law school. So I was like, well,
this is easy. I don't need to go to class. Like I know all of this. I know how to think all this
stuff law school is supposed to teach you already learned. And then I had all my friends were dudes
who went to state schools. They were the smart kids at state schools, like Kansas or Pitt or UVA.
And so it was like, and they knew how to party.
And I'm like, oh, I didn't have anyone like you guys with me in undergrad.
Let's go do this more.
And then, of course, we were by UNC, which was all girls.
It's not literally an all-girls school, but it might as well be.
No, it is, like 65% girls.
No dudes at unc well the dudes are just like the
fop the the iconic stereotype of the foppish southern frat boy types yeah and so for me it
was like hunting at a petting zoo it was so easy and we'd go over there and be beautiful girls
and these douchebag idiot guys and it was like oh this is great And so we had a great time. And then we all left law school,
went to different cities, and I went to Florida and I hated it. Like this is...
To work in a firm?
No, I got fired from a big law firm called Femmick and West in Silicon Valley. I got
fired about three weeks into being a summer associate, actually, not even a full-time
employee. And so I was essentially
blacklisted. It's impossible to get fired. And I did it. I did it in three weeks. Basically,
I was an unguided missile, man. I was drunk at all the firm events. I did all that stuff. That
actually wasn't the problem. The thing I did that caused them to fire me, and honestly,
I'm not even mad at them they did what i would
have done if i would have been a partner there one of the senior female partners propositioned me
you know like uh wanted to hook up with me she was married not that that meant anything to me
at the time um or to female lawyers but well not to her i don't know but i'm not gonna say all the
rest generalize let me do i'll handle the generalization here.
To her, it didn't obviously mean anything. And for some reason, I turned her down and then told everyone about it, which is like, if I had slept with her, I'd have been bulletproof. And if I
just shut up, no one would have cared. But I kind of did the worst of all worlds. And so, you know,
I was a liability. You can't have someone acting like
that in the law firm. Yeah, you can't. Turn down a partner's advance and then tell others about it.
I mean, the Bar Association could get involved at that point. That is a violation of ethics.
And it's intelligence. Like, what's wrong with you? Why are you so dumb? There's a way to play
this game and you're doing it totally wrong. And I was. And so, um, I, then I, okay. So even that
wouldn't have blacklisted me from the legal profession, but I wrote two days before she
propositioned me or before they fired me, uh, I had gotten drunk at a firm event and cause kind
of a scene, although it was kind of funny. And so I wrote an email about it. That was pretty funny.
I sent it to my friend. What was the scene? We had like a charity auction.
And I got up and I took the mic from like the auctioneer.
And I was yelling at this girl because she was bidding against me and the price was high.
I'm like, stop bidding.
I can't afford this.
And I need this to stay at the firm.
And it was like kind of like a funny, like the funny drunken person at a corporate event.
Like I really didn't go too far, but I went right up to that as a summer associate the line is lower
for you right exactly like they even the managing partner thought it was hilarious and so uh and i
wrote an email about that not about the female partner sent that to my friends like on a tuesday
and then like on wednesday i was. They didn't wait till Friday.
Smart. Right. And so of course my friends are assholes. And so they sent that to all their friends and then it like went out from there. And so that like everyone in the legal profession got
that email that summer. Like I was the, you know, the, you know, there's always legends about,
I was one of the legends that ended up turning it into- And was your plan at that point to spend your life in big law?
Yeah, it was.
It really was.
I hate to say it.
The God's honest truth is I was the worst kind of...
Like, okay, so I was deciding out of undergrad whether to go to
iBanking, management consulting, or law.
Like, and I was that type of dude.
I had that mindset.
Seeking soul death.
No, I was seeking status without merit, which is what everyone in those professions is doing.
Same thing.
And you could not have convinced me that it was not a viable or valuable path for my soul
to go make a bunch of money for bullshit which is what you do in those professions and
and I bought it I bought the whole thing hook line and sinker and so I was going after that
but I think there was obviously a part of me like the whatever you want to call it the drunk at the
work event part who clearly did not want that there was a part of me you know like like some
people you know like you'll be mass murderers who want to get caught
Of course. Oh, well, I was I wanted to get kicked. I didn't have the truth
I love to make myself out to be a hero
But the true story is I didn't have the courage to realize that it was a horrible
Soulless path that I didn't want to go to so I acted out until they fired me and kicked me out of the profession
So when that email went throughout the tiny and very inward-looking legal world,
what kind of response did you get?
They almost didn't let me come back for my senior year, or my third year at Duke.
No.
Yeah.
It got back to Duke.
Oh, of course.
It got everyone.
If I had wanted to stay in the legal profession
i would have had to be like a public defender like there was no i'm serious no no one was
gonna not that low a divorce attorney maybe jack i might have been able to be a jag officer
that would have been it wind up like david french hilarious um sorry that's so... I love legal jokes.
So Duke was mad.
So at this point,
do you realize like... The only reason she let me come back
and finish my third year,
I'm not really sure...
Speaking of she generally,
just the big she?
No, no, no.
The lady at Duke
who makes the decisions.
The head of the...
Yeah.
I forget what her exact title was.
But the only reason she let me back was because
i promised not to walk at graduation like i was going to graduate and so it was like
like basically if i wasn't there which i didn't care about going to anyway because i knew i was
going to get a job in a legal profession i just wanted to finish what for two reasons one is
because i didn't want to quit
and not have my degree, right?
Which probably honestly would have been
the best thing for me.
But I was one of those where I'm like,
no, I want to actually have the job.
I don't want to say I went to Duke Law School.
I want to have the JD, which I do.
But then also I had such,
it was like my party years.
Like everyone else's party years are in undergrad.
Mine were in law school.
Had you been in a fraternity in college? No, no. It's pretty funny. Yeah, I know. Since you
invented this genre of fraternity literature. The New York Times said I invented fratire and I wasn't
in a frat and I didn't write satire. It's memoir I wrote. But that's the New York Times, right?
Like they're going to- They know about genres anyway. They're going to get literally everything
wrong. Of course they are. Yeah. So what did you decide to do with your life at this point? I mean, you're kind of out of options. Yeah, it was not a good
situation for me because where I was was I had enough courage to get drunk and ruin a future I
didn't want, but not enough courage to recognize that that's what I was doing. So I was in like
this tough situation. My dad owned some restaurants in Florida. And so kind of the, like what I was doing. So I was in like this tough situation. My dad owned some restaurants
in Florida. And so kind of the, like, I was still kind of looking for the easy path, right? Like law,
law, you know, and, and I banking and management consulting, even though you're working a hundred
something hour weeks, they really are the easy path. They are the soulless, easy, coward path. And so the next coward path
for me was the family business. And I never really wanted to go into restaurants with the
family business, but now I'm like, well, this is, you know, the two things I've trained for,
I wasn't good at, so I'm not allowed to anymore so I kind of went that path
and then um I got fired from the family business in like six months it took me six months instead
of three weeks how'd you get fired from the family business oh that's a long story basically um I was
good at this now I was good because restaurant business right and I'm smart and outgoing and
and and if you're smart and outgoing the restaurant business is designed for people who don't fit anywhere else but are kind of smart and capable.
And so I was good at it.
The problem was I assumed that my dad wanted to run a good business.
I didn't realize the business existed for my dad's ego.
And so I got in and realized, oh, there's all kinds of people here who suck, who are stealing from him, who, uh, we, there's all these things we could be doing better. I mean,
really basic stuff. Like, why are we ordering from this company? They're charging twice as much
as this company. Uh, it turns out that company has given my dad kickbacks. And then these people
who are incompetent stealing from him, you know, uh, feed my dad's ego in a way that he values way more than what they're stealing.
And so I essentially, but like a fool, just like I, you know, didn't sleep with a partner and told everyone.
I went in, recognized these people were clowns and was like, oh, well, this is my dad and my name's on the door.
So clearly the fact that I'm right is more than enough.
I like, I told them that they sucked and that I was going
to get them fired. And they were smart enough and knew my dad well enough. They rallied the troops
and got enough evidence against me that my dad picked them over me and I got fired.
Amazing. So now you're a graduate of two of the most prestigious schools in the country,
but you're unemployed. You've washed out of-
And unemployable.
So what do you do? Man, I was not in a good spot. It was a hard time for me. And I was basically
bartending. The kind of jobs that losers in their 20s get, that was me. I was a loser in my 20s,
early 20s. And then at the same time, I was writing emails Like I was a loser in my twenties, early twenties. And then I was at the
same time I was writing emails to all my friends from law school about all, you know, living in
South Florida, which is a soulless, horrible place. Cause I don't do drugs and I'm not old.
So there was no social niche for me in South Florida. Right. Cause if you do Coke and you go
to clubs, South Florida is great. And if you're like 70 and you know play golf in the boca country club then
it's great but there's nothing else and so i hated my life but you know i get drunk and hook up with
girls anyway and get in these horrible situations and write emails about it and send to my friends
and one of my friends uh a guy a great you actually might even do you know sean trendy
real clear politics yeah okay so sean went to law school with me. And he's a good friend of mine.
He's a great dude.
And he actually called me up and he was getting the emails.
And he's like, dude, listen, you're not good at law.
You're not good at business, clearly.
But these emails are the funniest things I've ever read.
You need to go be a writer.
And I was like, what kind of bitch shit is this?
What are you talking about, Sean?
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And he like well dude look at look at the evidence right and so um what a wise
piece of advice that it was sean that gave it to me i i'm a writer because of sean trendy truly
like he said yes it is 100 true and so or i took that path because of Sean I was already writing I just wasn't envisioning that as
a profession for me or doing that and so um I uh I ended up putting my stuff on the first actually
no I took like the five emails that my friends thought were the funniest I sent them to every
publisher and every book agent in New York because at the time publishing was still on New York and
there was actually literally this was 2000 2001 2002 There's a physical book of, um, like all the agents
addresses and all like their query stuff. Cause you're old enough to remember this.
Yeah. Very well.
I probably sent a thousand query letters, maybe five between 500 and a thousand. I've got zero
positive, literally zero positive response, you know, like 90% nothing. Right. And then probably got like 50 form letter rejections. And I even got like, I still have a couple of them,
like some, a couple personalized rejections where like the editor was like, this is the
worst thing I've ever read. You should never write even an email again. Like you have no place in
publishing. But at the same time, I was sending my emails.
Like, all the emails I'd forwarded to my friends would get, like, they would forward those.
Like, not just the ones that got me fired, but the funny ones after.
And I was getting my emails forwarded back to me.
Remember early in internet email chains?
Yeah.
Okay.
So, I was getting my own emails forwarded back to me from people in other social circles who didn't know I had written them.
Being like, dude, you should read this.
This is so funny. And I'm like, all right. So, clearly'm good at this. Like Sean was right. These are funny to people who aren't friends. I'm like, all right. I mean, it is
arrogant to think this, but all these people in publishing are wrong. Now, now I've, now I know
publishing. I'm like, of course they're all wrong. They're all idiots. Like pretty much everyone in
publishing is there because they're a failed, a failed writer. It's not literally everyone, but almost.
I didn't know that at the time, but I was like, all right, well, they're not going to publish me.
But then the internet was a thing at the time.
This is 2002.
And so I had to learn to program HTML.
I put up a site on GeoCities.
If you remember GeoCities.
And I got featured on College Hum humor and a few other like those
humor blogs that were really really early and it blew up and mtv came and did a documentary
about people who were dating on because back when like dating on there and it was weird and creepy
and all and so um they did a documentary about me and that blew up and then all the publishing
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How many books did you write?
How many did you sell?
I wrote four Fratire books.
One, I kind of gave away for free, so it didn't count,
but three were published.
All three were New York Times bestsellers. I think I've sold about four and a half ish million of those books yeah
that's incredible it was i mean because especially because my audience were essentially
people who don't read i can't tell you how many dudes in my life it's been tens of thousands
have told me i've never finished a book, read a book, or bought a book other than yours. I believe that. Like tens of thousands. So when, why'd you, why'd you stop?
And when did you stop? Because my, my books were my stories about doing all the dumb stuff guys,
and a lot of women also do in their twenties, drinking, hooking up, partying, all that stuff.
And then by the time, you know, I wrote, I started writing at 27.
By the time I got to about 33, 34, I was like pretty tired of it. You know, like drinking and
partying and, you know, going out five nights a week is super fun when you're at a certain stage
in life. And I was way past that stage of life. And it was becoming tedious and tiresome.
And the cost of that lifestyle was really, not just the physical cost, but the emotional
cost was catching up to me.
And honestly, man, like everyone who goes through, some people go through that phase
for a week and some do it for a decade.
I was more towards the decade side of it.
But it was, I was feeling stuck man like you can't move on at life if you have to be
this person that is doing a thing at a certain phase right and that's oh dude it was so depressing
because all my fans would come to me you know i do public events all the time speeches whatever
and they were all really upset if i wasn't the Tucker Max they envisioned in their head.
And at the time, I would get really mad at them.
Like, fuck you.
I'm a whole person.
But that was my own immaturity.
Like, they liked me because of my stories and because of a certain attitude I had and a certain way I was in a certain part of my life.
And some of them realized, oh, that's just part of his life.
Mick Jagger has to sing Satisfaction at every show. Right. Yeah. And I wasn't going to sing Satisfaction the rest of my life. And some of them realized, oh, that's just part of his life. Mick Jagger has to sing Satisfaction at every show. Right. Yeah. And I wasn't going to sing Satisfaction the rest of my
life. Eventually, as I matured a little, I'm like, look, what am I doing getting mad at them?
Even the dumb immature ones, like the smart mature ones got it. They read the books,
thought they were funny, didn't expect me to be, but that was 20%, right? Most people like they would come up and they have this multi-year
relationship with me that has nothing to do with me, right? It's totally unilateral. And it's all
about a projection in their mind of who I am based only on the books. And that was, it got really
tiring after a while. And then instead of trying to fight it and getting mad at them,
I'm like, all right, well,
I just need to move on with my life.
And so I wrote,
the last in the series was Assholes Finish First.
And I put it like a retirement at the end
where I'm like, I'm not going to write this stuff,
talk about it anymore.
Like I've done with this part of my life.
And then that kind of did set me free.
Although most people who know me,
know me from that stuff. And then that kind of did set me free. Although most people who know me, know me
from that stuff. And so even that bro for years afterwards, like I would be at Whole Foods and a
kid, like a younger kid or something would come up to me and be like, Oh, it's your Tucker Max.
And I like, why aren't you drunk screaming curses at people laying under a table? And I'm like,
it's 11 AM on a Thursday. Like what is wrong with you, dude? Even I'm like, it's 11 a.m. on a Thursday. Like, what is wrong
with you, dude? But even now, to this day, a lot of people, their impression of me,
even after they meet me, is still based on that. How did you find a wife? I mean, so you've like
laid bare your personal life. Yeah, yeah. And you sold four and a half million copies of books about hooking up with various women.
Right.
I told the truth about things most people don't ever tell the truth about.
For sure.
Yes.
So what did that teach you about what you wanted in a wife?
Well, it definitely showed me very much what I don't want.
Yeah.
Because a lot of the, I mean, I was with a lot of women in that period.
I was single.
I was into women.
I wrote about it.
And then women who were at that stage, you know, the same stage as me, came to me.
And so there were a lot.
And I realized, man, there's so much. The big thing, man, was I realized I needed a woman who was very smart,
who was very sweet and empathic. But most importantly, I need a woman who really
had her own thing in life, who really thought for herself, who really was her own person,
right? Because three or four years before I started, I retired, I would have
been really happy with the hottest girl there was who was pretty sweet and basically a trophy wife,
right? I would have been totally cool with that. And then by the time I got to be about 32, 33,
34, I realized, oh, thank God I didn't get married. I would have been so miserable with
that. I would have hated that. I would have been divorced within five, six years. I realized I
needed a partner. And then I started to understand what a partner actually would look like for me
at that point. That's the crazy thing, man. I think I had to go through whatever,
hundreds or thousands of women to realize how lonely I was and how lonely that life is after a while.
You know, it's the metaphor I always use is imagine that like, because dudes don't get this, man.
They don't understand.
Women do.
Most women understand what I mean when I talk about this.
Because most guys have to go their whole life.
It doesn't matter how good looking you are, how smart or how rich you
are. You have to work for women. You have to have game. You have to talk to them. You have to be
good in some way, at least connecting with a woman. But once you get famous, all that's out
the window. Like you don't have to really do anything but other than be famous. And there's
a million examples of this, of dudes who have no business being with any women who are famous who
get all kinds of
Of women and you can't understand what that's like as a dude
because you've spent your whole life like imagine living on a like a desert island and you're scraping out an
Existence and you have food but never enough and then all of a sudden you get picked up off of that desert island and you get
Moved into a chinese buffet
And you live at the chinese buffet and you're like
And you're gonna gorge yourself for a while or the best vegas buffet you can ever yeah golden corral forever
Right, you're gonna gorge yourself for a while
In fact, you're gonna gorge yourself until you throw up a few times and then you're gonna keep gorging yourself
And that was what my life was like I would like cause women are always a scarcity for you as a dude.
It doesn't matter how rich you are or how good looking you are, how smart you are. There's still
a scarcity until you become famous. And then there, then they're an abundance, but for women,
penises and abundance from the time that they probably pre puberty for a lot of them, right?
Like there's always dudes around, you know, like, and so women can kind of understand that. It was, I didn't understand that at all. And then I kind of had to revel in that abundance
for a while and wallow in it until it became like all abundance becomes sickening and you have to
kind of like all abundance. That's right. Right. And you've got a really an, okay, I don't want
everything. There are, here's the things things out here's what's healthy here's
what i want let me figure out what that is so in a lot of ways the best it's funny people like
will say like your intro is really good like it seems like 180 degree turnaround in my from where
i sit having lived it i couldn't have gotten to be a dedicated father and husband and homesteader if I hadn't gone through that phase of
unbridled abundance and hedonism. I needed that.
It's just interesting that you had all the women you wanted, but you just wanted one in the end.
Eventually, yes. Don't get me wrong. If my wife was cool with two or three,
I might be all right with that too. But no, was um lots and lots of different women was not an effective way
to fill the hole of loneliness yes that's right for a while i thought it worked but it doesn't
work long no it doesn't work yeah i mean abundance doesn't work you could not have convinced me of
that with any words when i was 29 right well there's no have, there's no, I had to go through that. It's an age thing. No, it's totally right.
I've arrived
at the same conclusion.
But how did you get,
okay, so now you are
not just a husband
and a father,
but that's basically your job.
Yeah.
I sold my company
and it's all I do now.
But what motivated
your desire
to make that your life?
Like, and what is homesteading
and why do you do it?
So, I didn't come up with this goal ahead of time and then do it. I discovered this path as I walked
it, right? So, after I retired from writing, you know, the stories of drinking and hooking up,
I retired from frat tire. What ended up happening is I was still a really well-known author and a
lot of people came to me to help them write their books so i started a company called scribe that um we you know david
goggins i'm sure we did his books and tiffany haddish and some other people like that and we
we did about from the time i started until when i left which was a 2022 like 2000 books and so we
were kind of the premier, like independent ghostwriting publishing
firm. Right. And, uh, uh, uh, we built a great company, 500 employees, me and my co-founder,
Zach, um, uh, uh, built a great company and, um, it was rewarding. And I kind of went through the,
the entrepreneurial phase of life before I thought I was entrepreneurial, but I was an artist and
that being an artist and running a business with employees are totally different things.
Oh, I found out.
Totally different things. And I did not understand that.
I only do one of those things, not the other.
Yeah. So, so it was, there was a lot rewarding with it and started the business. I met my way
first, then started the business. And as the business grew and developed,
and I saw a very clear path to a lot of money, big valuations, expansion, all this stuff.
But at the same time, my relationship with my wife and my kids, and as my kids got older,
even though my kids are still pretty young, I was like, hmm. And then I was in a lot of
social groups and masterminds with pretty advanced and successful entrepreneurs who had way bigger companies than me and who were older and had older kids.
And I saw kind of how miserable they were in a lot of ways and like how much time they spent on their business, how little they spent with their families.
And then I would like meet their kids and be like, hmm, something's off.
Not all of them.
Some of them had great balance and some didn't. And I just kind of realized, man, that as much as I did, I like
business and I like entrepreneurship. I, um, I didn't love it. And I definitely didn't love it
more than my wife or my kids. And I realized like, what, I don't know when I came to this realization,
but I came to the realization that, um, the only thing that matters in my life is the relationships with the people I love and the things I do that matter to them.
And yeah, I mean, like having a company to make money, that's important.
But above a certain level, like what am I doing?
I'm just stealing from my children.
I'm stealing my father from their children.
Or I'm stealing my children's father from them, which is me.
And I decided I wasn't going to do that.
Like that $200 million or a billion dollars is not worth that.
$20 million isn't even worth that.
It's not worth it.
But most people have this realization, decide, okay, we're going to spend a year and sail to New Zealand.
Right.
But you decided to buy a homestead in Texas.
Yes.
And grow your own food, raise your own food.
Yeah.
Why?
Well, there were a couple reasons.
So you were around 2020, 2021.
Yes.
So I don't have to describe all that, but...
Well, how did it affect you?
I mean, you weren't working in politics, right?
Yeah, no, no, no.
I wrote a piece on this on my blog on my blog about how I kind of,
I thought I was awake to how the world worked. Cause you know,
I'd work in the entertainment business. You have to,
you understand media entertainment. And if you work in that business,
you see behind the curtain and how messed up everything is. And, and I,
I mean, I saw evil Hollywood was long before the me too stuff.
And I knew like everyone in Hollywood knew the Hollywood knew Weinstein was a rapist.
And, like, I knew.
I thought I understood.
But then 2020 happened, and the lockdowns happened, and all this.
And I was like, oh, it's way worse than I ever thought.
Like, I saw a little bit behind the curtain.
But that was a public health emergency.
Of course it was.
Right?
Of course.
Did you think that for a moment?
Did you think any of this was just like
what did yes so uh you grew up in this country like tell us what you thought uh so when i was
watching the videos of people dying in the street in china like early march of 2020 there was a
window of about for being honest about six weeks i was probably fooled three to six weeks
yeah me too right this scary this might be legit this might be an actual epidemic pandemic this
might be like whatever and so the uh i was uh you can actually look on my twitter timeline
there's a uh when uh south by was canceled in 2020 i was for that i was like oh yeah that was
like march 15th of 2020 i was totally for that but I was like, Oh yeah, that was like March 15th of 2020. I was totally for that.
But then by mid April,
I'm like,
hold on.
Like nothing about this seems right.
And by May,
I'm like,
Oh,
well this is a fraud.
Like this is clearly a fraud.
And then the riot started and it was like,
I mean the iconic photo of the,
you know,
the,
the,
the,
the CNN with the Chiron,
you know,
mostly peaceful protest is fire in the background. So come on, with the Chiron, you know, mostly peaceful protest and there's fire
in the background. I was like, come on, like, I'm not. But if you're, I mean, if you're rioting for
racial justice, you're not going to spread a deadly virus, right? Obviously, of course. And
well, my favorite were the people who was like, well, racial justice is deadlier than, or racial
injustice is deadlier than COVID. I'm like, your racism is scarier than or racial injustice is deadlier than covid i'm like your racism is scarier than
just stop right and that's when i was like okay okay so this is it this is utter total
bullshit and so then my wife and i had always talked about getting on land we'd always wanted
hold on let me ask you to pause what did you conclude from that so it was obviously this
was fraudulent this was a total fraud. But like, why?
Well, see, I mean, I went to the, you know, all the big schools. Like I knew,
I woke wasn't a shock to me. I saw that coming for years. And in fact, I mean, I had a company that was 70% women and all creative. So you think we would have been infected early. No,
I saw it coming. I kept it out of scribe for as long as I was there.
I was able to keep it out.
It's really, it's actually, if you want a really easy trick to keep woke people away
from your organization, there's a very simple way to do it.
You just emphasize, make your primary value responsibility and your second accountability.
And those people will go elsewhere.
Is there a competent? Not necessarily. Some of them are smart and capable.
It's that the woke mind virus is about placing blame for your life on other people.
So if everything is first about responsibility and accountability,
those people will not come to your organization. And so I was able to kind of shelter my world from that. No, it works. It works beautifully. I was able to
shelter my world from them pretty well. And so once I saw all this, I just, at the time, we're
talking about summer 2020, I'm like, okay, the woke mind virus has clearly infected media and these people are fools I
didn't realize how corrupt how truly catastrophically corrupt government was until January 6th of 2021
that was when that was because you know my wife and I decided to buy land the summer of 2020 and
we bought our house in Tennessee that I showed you that we talked about, right? And so, because at the time, I didn't really understand. I didn't think America was
at the state it was yet. And the way I looked at preparation and emergency stuff was a bug out
place, right? And so, we bought a beautiful house in the mountains, isolated, because that's where
my level of consciousness and understanding was. Then January 21st happened.
And in real time.
January 6th. Sorry, January 6th.
January 6th of 2021.
And in real time, you just watch the feeds.
And I saw, I mean, because it wasn't hidden.
The Capitol Police were letting people in.
And most of these people were just drunken buffoons.
And it was like obvious that this was nonsense.
That this was in no way, shape or form
anything approaching an insurrection. And then you would turn on cable news. And in real time,
you'd see them form this narrative that's not just wrong, but literally, totally contrary
to what's going on. And I can see, I don't know why that moment, but at that moment, I realized that the Republic
had fallen.
I don't think it fell at that moment.
It had fallen probably decades, maybe a century before, but I did not truly internalize it
until that moment.
When you watch them tell you what you were seeing wasn't real.
And it was something totally else.
Media is always wrong, but just because they're wrong doesn't mean the opposite's true,
right? So you have to kind of look in the direction that they're wrong. And in this case, the narrative that they were pushing was very clearly the narrative you push if you want to if you want to create a
Fascist communist whatever some form of the town's a police state and and I don't all the evidence was there you know like
It's pretty common for you
You'll deny reality until all of a sudden the last piece of evidence clicks in and then all the other facts like oh shit
I should I could have seen this a long time ago and i waited it was like that for me i mean you can make a good argument that the
the republic fell um in america you can make an argument it fell during the whiskey rebellion
yeah right you can make an argument several times the 18th century definitely during the civil war
lots of times in the 20th century, definitely during the Civil War, lots of times in the 20th century.
Yeah, like when they murdered the president?
Yeah, lots of times. JFK, I don't know when the American Republic fell, but it became very clear,
undeniably clear to me on January 6th, 2021, that we were not just an empire, but we were
the late stages of empire. I essentially missed understanding the American empire was an empire, but we were in the late stages of empire. Like I'd essentially missed understanding the American empire was an empire.
And I was like, oh man.
And then once I got that, then I'm like, oh, now everything makes sense.
This is empire collapse.
And I understand empire collapse pretty well.
Like I'm very, like all dudes, very interested in the roman history and mongolian history and if you study the the both the transition from republic to empire in rome and the transition from genghis
khan to his sons because they were never a republic but under genghis khan it was the
mongolian empire was what we would consider a free place in a lot of ways for these mongolians and the transition from that to his sons and grandsons
um less free very different yeah yeah it was empire collapse and i'm like this is exactly
what's going on and then once i got that that was when my wife and i got serious about like okay
we need to actually get ready for what's coming because it's going to be i don't know what's coming but
it's the the baseline of what's coming is going to be chaos and we're going to see a lot more of
what we saw you know broken supply chains um riots whatever right like that's kind of the
best case scenario is just more of what we saw in 2020 and um uh so i kind of dove deep into the the sort of prepper world most of its nonsense most
of it are clowns who don't know what they're talking about like but there are a group groups
of people who who i think are pretty sophisticated how long did it take for you to realize that your
bug out place in the north carolina mountains january 1st 2021 is that is that right so that's
not adequate explain why that's not adequate.
Explain why that's not adequate.
Because, okay, when empire collapses,
the thing that matters most is community.
Who are you around?
What skills do they have?
What skills do you have? How well can your group band together
and endure the tumultuous chaos
until some new state, steady state arises.
And having a cabin in the woods is the opposite of community, right?
That was the old school American thought of prepping is really based on nuclear war and
hiding a bunker and like, it's just nonsense.
It's not really thought out.
But if you go study end of empire
and you study people who've lived through intense chaos,
they all say the same thing, right?
Like there's a lot of, when the Roman empire,
not the Republic, when the empire fell,
there were lots of places that did great
because, you know, some warlord
or the local Roman general would just say okay
like the we're we're gonna make this town my empire and the legions are gonna marry local
girls and this is our area and those became i mean you can name them and no visigoths allowed
no chaos uh lots of parts of gaul thrived for thousands of years,
hundreds if not thousands of years after,
because they had local rule, all the sorts of things that worked.
Now, the Roman Empire fell, but for a lot of people,
in the aftermath of that, did really well,
if they had great community, right?
Same with Mongolia, same with, in with a lot of ways the British Empire,
the British Empire was a little different.
It was a more modern empire.
But the point is,
my cabin in the woods had no community.
And so my wife and I were like,
how do we, where can we go to find community?
How do we build the community?
And it starts by not a cabin in the woods,
but by growing, raising your own food, taking
responsibility for water, power, and food, but in the context of where a lot of other
people are doing the same.
And so we knew we wanted to stay in Texas for a few reasons.
And we ended up picking Dripping Springs.
There's a lot of towns in Texas that are doing things like this.
Uh, dripping is not the only one.
It's the one that we like the best for a couple of different reasons.
So we bought a homestead.
Uh, we actually, we bought a place.
A beautiful ranch was not a homestead.
We've had to convert it to a homestead, but whatever.
And then we started to school.
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Identityguard.com slash tucker. So what's the difference between a ranch and a homestead?
Well, generally speaking, a ranch is where you just sort of raise livestock.
But what we bought was, because I didn't know, right?
I didn't really understand land.
I bought a place that this older guy, this boomer, had kind of carved out of nothing.
And it was beautiful.
Beautiful oak trees and rolling pasture.
But it was dead.
I mean, literally dead.
The soil was dead.
Everything was dead because the way he dealt with the land was very 20th century kind of mentality.
It was pesticides kill the bugs. herbicides kill the weeds, fertilizer
raises the grass. That doesn't really work well. It can work sort of for a while in certain
circumstances. But if you want to actually have a living, thriving ecosystem, I kind of went deep
in the permaculture and regenerative agriculture worlds and I realized that those people had figured it out
And so what we had to do was stop all came I had to fire all the people he had that were working there
The landscapers or whatever, you know, everything was irrigated
It was he had st. Augustine grass which requires like 130 inches of rain a year in Texas
Right like so you're not getting 130 inches of rain and he was irrigating nonetheless, it's like, what are we doing? This doesn't make sense with
our land and where we are. And so the last two years I've spent essentially turning it into
living soil and regenerating the land and doing management practices that make sense for Dripping
Springs, Texas for 30 inches of rain a
year and you know like uh and now we have like it's it's it's not where it's going to be in three
four or five years but it's good man we've got a big flock of sheep bees we have meat chickens
egg chickens you know like we have uh you know garden um starting to put in all kinds of stuff
and so we're totally independent water,
totally independent meat, totally independent. We can be totally independent power. We're hooked
on the grid because why would we be independent before we have to be? But we have a system where
we can endure a lot of chaos and be totally fine. And we're surrounded by people in our community
who are, for the most part, in the same position or very similar.
They have similar values, similar approach to the world.
That's why we started a Waldorf school literally three minutes from our room.
So for viewers who are not familiar with Waldorf, what is that?
So there's lots of different educational philosophies.
Acton, Montessori, public school.
Waldorf is a philosophy that started in germany like 150 years
ago and i think it is by far of the educational philosophies it's by far the best it is the one
that kind of feeds the emotional side um it kind of it's like a renaissance style right where it
kind of tries to help the whole child to help create the whole child of the educational styles.
I think it's the best.
That being said,
I'm still not sure if organized schooling is right for kids or not.
Cause right now we have one kid I'm homeschooling.
Cause he doesn't have enough kids in his class for, for the Waldorf.
Like there just aren't kids.
He doesn't have a class there, but the other two are Waldorf.
Waldorf's the best by far.
If you're going to go to a school,
I'm on the fence about which is better or worse. So all of your children are out of the public schools. He doesn't have a class there, but the other two are Waldorf. Waldorf's the best by far if you're going to go to a school.
I'm on the fence about which is better or worse. So all of your children are out of the public schools?
Oh, never went into public schools.
My man, I don't hate my kids.
I'm never going to send them to public schools.
That raises a philosophical question, and I want to put this to the President of the United States
with a message I think is relevant to you, which is that those are not your kids, actually.
Here he is.
Rebecca put a teacher's creed into words when she said,
there's no such thing as someone else's child.
No such thing as someone else's child.
Our nation's children are all our children.
So your kids are really his kids.
He owns your kids.
It's like when people say, you know, I'm coming to take your guns.
Like, well, stack up.
Stack up and come get them.
Same with kids.
No, those are my kids.
Those children are mine and my wife's.
Now, I will say, let's give it a very judicious interpretation.
If what he means, and I don't think this is what he means, but if what he means is I don't own my children like they're chattel or slaves, that they are independent beings and my
job is to steward them, totally agree, totally on board. In no way, shape, or form do I think my
kids should live their lives based on what I want. They should live it on what they want.
Totally on board. I see my job is to help them become full people and find the lives they want. Totally on board. I see my job is to help them become full people and find the lives
they want. I don't think that's what he means. I think what he means is the very typical bureaucratic,
really, it's a really a communist Marxist idea that children are the property of the state,
that the citizens are the property of the state. That is-
And you disagree with that.
Disagreement's not strong enough. It's not. It's not a strong enough term. Yeah. There's just no
chance that's going to exist in my words. Yeah. Just not. So I always thought, I mean, of course,
I vehemently agree with you, but the number of parents who presumably love their kids more than
their own lives, most parents do, I think, who are willing to let not just Alzheimer's patients posing as president, but any representative of the state just kind of come in.
Do whatever they want to their kids.
Sexualize their kids, basically like kiddie porn shit with their kids, and they allow it.
Why?
Man, it's a good question.
I don't know because I like clearly I would never in a million years allow anything like that.
I think most people can only give their kids what they got.
And most people were raised by people who went to public schools and they went
to public schools and they were rate public schools are designed to create obedient employees.
Yes.
That's the most charitable sort of interpretation.
It maintains the surf class. That's the point.
It does. And I'm not saying this – this isn't like a conspiracy theory or a metaphor.
There's a guy, John Taylor Gatto, who wrote a couple great books about this.
The literal stated goal.
Horace Mann, all those people who invented
the American public educational system,
their stated goal is to create subservient employees
who know how to be good citizens.
And, like, that's just, I didn't have children for that reason, to serve some other
man or woman or some faceless bureaucratic entity. No. And so, if someone was raised by people who
went to public school, who were just employees, and that's who they are, it's hard. I mean this
not judgmentally. I can imagine it'd be really
hard for that person to understand, well, this is where I went. This was good enough for me.
They're supposed to be experts. Why wouldn't they know better? I can understand how
a lot of people would get to that spot. Now, the good news is all this nonsense,
lunacy with trans and other crap in schools,
sexualizing little children is a lot of people starting to wake up and realize what, I mean,
I knew this, I had never had any plan to send my kids to public school. Like that was never,
I went to public schools mostly. And I realized how nonsense they were when I was there.
My parents weren't very good, but they but they weirdly, they gave me a gift.
They weren't, they were not good parents.
They weren't bad people.
They were just bad parents.
And, but their bad parenting gave me a gift.
They didn't pretend that they cared.
Like they didn't mix a lot of, seriously.
People laugh, but I'm telling you, man, so many people.
That was the upside of my bad childhood.
No, it was.
My parents didn't pretend they cared.
Because so many people's parents or caregivers mixed love with abuse.
And so, so many people see those two things together.
My parents didn't really pretend they cared much.
And so, like, I never mixed love and abuse.
And also, they didn't really show up much for me.
And so I realized at a young age that the adults weren't coming. And the adults were, for the most
part, didn't know what the hell they were doing. They didn't ever pretend they were experts or knew
what they were doing or had the right answers. Right. And so it's like, they were so bad that
in a way that they were good, they set me up to see the reality.
Yeah, I mean, it's true. I just love your attitude about your childhood.
That's a wonderful attitude to have.
Well, I got there after a lot of emotional work, a lot of therapy, a lot of psychedelic medicine, a lot of work.
I wasn't always like that.
I was angry for a while.
It's pointless to be mad about the past.
Anger can serve a purpose for a period. If it gets you out of shame or other sort of essentially anti-life emotions,
anger is a powerful motivating emotion.
But if you stay stuck there, it's not good.
I was stuck there for a while.
Is your wife totally on board with these attitudes?
A hundred percent.
Oh, yeah.
My wife, I would not be married to her if she wasn't, if we didn't share these values.
We were very aligned
in a lot of stuff when we met and we've she's done a lot of her own emotional therapeutic work as well
and and we both have grown so much together over the last 10 years uh in parallel ways
but I've seen people who um who split in the last three four years because their values just went
different like they were the split was there, but this kind of forced it.
So you've organized your life around surviving what you think is coming and protecting-
What's here.
What's here.
What's here now.
So what do you think-
And then what might come.
What do you think might come?
What does that look like?
I have no idea.
The range of outcomes, I think, are extremely wide. But you're working to mitigate against those eventualities or those possibilities.
You can't prevent everything, right? Like, if an asteroid hits, you know, Florida,
nothing I'm doing is probably going to make any difference, right? Like, it's 95% of people are
going to die. It's going to be horrible. It's going to be Armageddon. And my, you know, having a flock of sheep's not going to stop me.
But holding aside really, truly catastrophic, you know, Noah's Ark type situations,
I think the range of possibilities are basically,
if we're seeing collapse of empire, American empire, which I think we are.
Not necessarily the collapse of the American state, but the collapse of the American empire.
I think my whole life, basically, the American consumerist experience has been based on essentially free or low cost goods in everything, whether it's food
or housing or everything was really cheap or really easy to get. And I think if just that
period is ending and nothing else, then we're in for a major shock culturally a major shock though maybe a lot of the rest of
the world isn't we are now on top of that unfortunately and sadly excuse me i think
world war three whatever you want to call it is inevitable um i i think the u.s without going too
deep in this rabbit hole the u.s debt has gotten to the point where a war is necessary um i mean it's all when empires
rack up too much debt the only thing left for them to do to save it usually is war and then
that doesn't save it that that goes out accelerates its decline right exactly there was a point where
the u.s debt was totally saved definitely definitely during the Clinton administration and maybe even as recently as the Obama administration,
if the Fed had refinanced all of that
or a huge amount of national debt
when the interest was essentially zero,
we'd be in a very different situation, but they didn't.
And so that plus the massive stimulus bill,
stimulus bills, what they were was graft.
But that plus the response to COVID,
they were past the point in overtime. And so what happens when government defaults?
War, and then a lot of other consequences from that. So I don't know the details. No one does,
because I think there's a lot of ways it could play out. I just want to ensure, regardless of what happens up to a certain point, that me and my family and
my community can endure that because I don't think it's going to last forever. Disasters and
emergencies don't last forever. There's an other side. I actually think America is really well set
up to come out the other end of that in a really positive place.
It's just going to be painful to get there.
So here's one potential mid to short term outcome, which is that we continue pushing for war with Iran.
Yes.
Which apparently doesn't yet have nuclear weapons.
Yeah.
We do, Israel does.
The whole coalition arrayed against Iran has them.
They don't.
So how do they respond?
Well, maybe they just
unplug the United States.
Maybe a cyber attack
or EMP attack
takes out
our digital life.
Totally possible.
So that would,
you know,
I can't even,
I don't like to think about
what that would look like,
but where would that leave you
on your homestead?
Are you living a life that could withstand that? I'm not a huge believer in, oh, you have to be off-grid and you got to be
living like the Amish. First off, off-grid doesn't exist. Even the Amish aren't off-grid. If you
think about it, they don't mine their own ore and they don't smelt it.
So not disparaging the Amish.
Believe me, I've been like, man, these dudes had some stuff figured out I didn't realize before. You're pro-Amish for the record.
Maybe. Pro certain things about Amish.
But I don't think off-grid exists, and I'm not a believer in,
oh, if you're not doing everything hand, it doesn't work. I don't
want to make my life hard for no reason. That's nonsense. I just want to make sure that there is
a lot of coming political and social, there's a lot of political and social upheaval now.
It's already happening. And I think it's going to get worse. And I want to make sure that I'm in the best place possible to survive that.
I'm not trying to go be the Unabomber and live only off the land and only have things that ancient men had.
If you want to do that, cool.
I like electricity.
But you're not making your own bombs like he did.
Dude, I like electricity.
I like air conditioning.
I live in Texas.
I really like air conditioning. It's pretty crucial for us. Dude, I like electricity. I live in Texas. I really like
air conditioning. It's pretty crucial for us. I like modern conveniences. I want to continue
using those as much as possible. And that makes sense. But I also, if I had to say,
the big shift I've made in my mindset, man, is that I was like when I was in college,
you don't go work for Goldman Sachs or go to law school unless you are
deep in the consumerist mindset. I think that one of the major psychological shifts I've made is I
have gotten out of the consumerist mindset to more of a shepherd mindset. And I think it's
one of the travesties that- Can you just flesh it out a little bit when
you say consumerist mindset what do you mean consumerist mindset means i live to consume
uh resources and status and uh like my what are basically our most of our parents were i i i want
the house in the suburbs uh you know i'm gonna going to have these vacations. I'm going to go to these places. I'm going to have this rank in my society. It's an externally created identity, right?
That consumer, because what do you even know what to consume, right? It's what your screen,
what your media tells you is important and what you should be consuming. Where's your status come
from? Where, you know, what matters, what car is cool or not, what clothes are cool be consuming. Where's your status come from? What matters?
What car is cool or not? What clothes are cool or not? That's a consumerist mindset, right?
Of course, I'm American, so I was deeply enmeshed and immersed in that growing up.
But one of the great travesties, I think, of the last 30 years is that the conservation movement and the environmental movement weren't one and the same.
They were kind of enemies for a long time.
And I think though now you're starting to see the permaculturists and the regenerative
agriculture and the hunters and the conservationists really come together and realize we're all
on the same side, right?
And I am a big believer, like, I mean, like your studio, right? Like, I really want to live in harmony with not just my family and my community, but the environment around me, the soil around me, the grass, nature.
And everyone says that, but like not many people actually do that.
They live a very, a life that is divorced from the actual soil around them and the trees around
them and the animals around them. And the last two years, if you'd asked me two years ago,
if I live in harmony with nature, I'd be like, yeah, I like to think I do. I didn't at all.
And I had no idea what it even meant to live in harmony with nature. And having a homestead,
what's so awesome about having a homestead is that it has forced me to live in
reality. You can have your phone and consumers' mindsets, you can live in abstraction. Everything
is abstract. But when you live, whether having a homestead or a ranch or a farm or hunting,
you have to actually pay attention to reality or nothing works. Nothing, right?
And it has grounded me in a way that I thought I was grounded, but I wasn't.
And that's a huge reason why I wanted to get on land.
My wife and I wanted to get on land is because we craved that in our lives.
As we did emotional work and dealt with our issues,
we felt the divorce from the world and wanted to get more integrated into the natural world,
but then also wanted to raise our kids that way so that they never had to be divorced
from that and had to find their way back to it.
Right?
Like the whole point of public school is to separate the child from the family and orient
them in bureaucratic, corporatist, consumerist society.
And I mean, like, I'm kind of torn because like, I like electricity and I like cool stuff.
And I'm not like, you know, I'm not shooting with a bow and arrow.
I'm not hunting with a bow and arrow.
But at the same time, I don't want all of the negative nonsense that comes with that.
I want my children to grow up on land with
their hands in dirt, understanding first self-knowledge above all things. And that is the
opposite of what you learn in public. Everything public school is coming from experts, obey,
do what you're told. Here's how life works. The way our children grow up. First and foremost, your body, your rules. Second,
like literally every their body, their rules. That's like my kid at any point can basically
stop anything going on saying, no, my body, my rules. I don't want to go. I don't want to do
that. And if it's not unsafe, right, then I'm like, okay, all right, we got to figure. And so
basic things like that, man, I just, I wasn't thinking about until two, three,
four, five years ago, but having kids and getting on land, I, I, I didn't realize how
poisoned and how toxic almost everything in our culture is.
Not just American, the world, like the way humans relate to each other, it was just, ugh.
Give me an example when you say poisonous.
What do you mean?
Food.
You want to talk about food?
Yeah.
All right. So virtually everything you find in a grocery store is at best unhealthy at worst literal poison like my favorite example um most
people in america now for cooking use seed oils canola oil canola oil is was literally invented
as a a lubricant for machines i mean it was used i forget the exact history of it, but it is machine lubricant. It is so toxic and
horrible for the body. And it's in everything now. A huge reason that we wanted a homestead
and to raise our own meat and our own vegetables is because it's really hard to get healthy food
anywhere. Even at farmer's markets, sometimes it's hard to get it.
But like, go find something in a grocery store
that doesn't have a seed oil in it.
It's almost impossible.
Even at Whole Foods.
Unless you're on the outer rim, right?
Unless you're taking a head of lettuce
or something like that.
If it's in a package,
something like, I forget,
70 plus percent of stuff in packages in Whole Foods has seed oils in it.
And it's poison.
It's absolute poison.
And do you feel the difference having gotten off it?
I mean, I'm 48 years old.
Just two days ago, some friends of mine were looking at one of my book covers and the dude was like, what are you, what are you a vampire like you look like you haven't aged i'm like no i've aged but unlike most people in
our society i have been healthy for the last 20 years and most people like you look at i look i
can't i'm 48 most 48 year olds are 48 year old men are a minimum of 30 pounds overweight, can barely do push-ups or pull-ups,
are close to death.
Like, metabolically, our prediabetes, right, are horribly unhealthy.
I don't even think I'm in that great of shape.
I just don't eat the poisonous stuff.
I just paid, I'm like, okay, I'm going to try and only eat meat from my homestead.
And like I, you know, I'm metabolically, if you look at all the markers, like my genetic age is
like in the twenties. I don't do anything that special, man. I'm not like out, you know, working
out six hours a day or any nonsense like that. I just eat healthy and healthy means like I know
where all my meat comes from all the lamb and chicken i eat
born on my ranch raised on my ranch killed on my ranch processed on my ranch butchered on my ranch
eaten on my ranch it says it's as god intended what goes in it is grass uh and water or bugs if it's chickens.
That's it.
You mentioned God offhandedly.
Has your view of the eternal changed?
Radically.
Really?
Radically.
So I think at a certain point in your life, if you are educated and you believe in God,
this is going to be controversial.
I don't mean it bad.
I think you're stupid. If you're not atheist at some in God, this is going to be controversial. I don't mean it bad. I think you're stupid.
If you're not an atheist at some point early on in your life, because I don't believe you can reason your way to God.
No.
Yeah, I know.
St. Augustine, whatever.
I'm with you.
Thomas More, okay, fine.
I just don't think you get to God from reason.
And so I was an atheist my whole life because God never made sense,
if you think logically. Is that how you grew up?
I grew up actually in the Episcopal Church. Like, I was an acolyte in the Episcopal, but you know, Episcopal Church is like a social club. It's not, you don't.
Yes, I'm very familiar with it. Yes.
Like, I literally thought we went to church to eat donuts and socialize. I didn't know anyone
believed that because it was preposterous to me. If you look at it reasonably and rationally. And then it was about four years ago.
I, you know, it's funny. I had never done, I drank a lot, never done any drugs in my life ever
until I found part of my therapeutic protocols. I did psychedelic medicine, right? Like MDMA, LSD, mushrooms, but with a guide and not recreationally.
I don't know how you do that stuff.
People who take LSD and go to concerts.
I took LSD and cried and found God.
And it was the experience for me was not like talking to God.
It was, I felt the oneness of all things.
And I felt the connection to all things.
And I felt, oneness of all things. And I felt the connection to all things. And I felt, I understood,
like I knew Jesus' and Buddha's teachings academically.
But then I was like, it was one very specific experience.
It was LSE.
And I remember thinking, oh, fuck,
the kingdom of heaven is within.
Now I know what Jesus was talking about.
Like, and if you meet a Buddha on the road, kill him. Like, oh, now I know what Buddha was talking about. And
I have a really good friend who's Mormon and he's the type of Mormon that like, you know,
you meet some Christians and they just have that energy and glow. And you're like, if all Christians
were like this, like the world would be, I don't know what you're into, but I want to know more.
He's one of those guys. And I called him two days after my thing. And I'm like, Ben, when you say you have a relationship with God, you mean that literally.
Like, it's an experience for you.
He goes, bro, I've been trying to tell you this for a decade.
And I'm like, I thought you were stupid.
I thought you were fooled.
I thought you just read the words and got fooled by them.
What you have is the actual spiritual connection.
He's like, yeah.
And I did not understand religion. I understood, I didn't understand spirituality or belief in God
until I had the experience. And for me, I had to get there on psychedelics. I don't really feel
like I do now. Psychedelics were important to open me up, but now I think I can, I have enough
of a connection to source, to God, whatever you
want to call it.
I'm very, very much a God guy, but not in the way most God guys are.
Like not a religious way.
Like I think religious dogma, some people need it and they like it and that's cool.
I don't need dogma.
I think dogma gets in the way.
And I think if you actually look at the teachings of Christ and definitely the teachings of
Buddha, they say the same thing.
That the dogma is not the thing and is in fact in the way although buddha will say
he says that but he's like you know i'll give you the the eightfold path and all that to help you
but then you shed it when it's time does is your wife in the same place you were
i think pretty much yeah how's it changed your life
that's like uh because that's like a different way of seeing in every in every single way i i
got past consumerism because of this um because once you once you realize not realize intellectually
once you feel the one and some people can get there like at church and some people get there
with yoga i i'm not i'm not saying my way is better or worse. It's just the way. Once I felt the oneness
of all things, all of the frivolities and the nonsense and the lies of the modern narrative
fell away. And then for me, it was like, oh, of course, being connected to land matters. We're
all energy. We're all part of the same system. I'm not different than this land or this chicken or this sheep. Yeah, I'm a human and it's a
chicken, right? But we're all parts of the same system. We're all parts of God. And if you want
to call the system God, I'm on board. And if that's true, then my entire approach before,
that's what's toxic. Seeing myself as separate from the system, as different
than the system. No, that's just not true. Do you think, I don't know, maybe I'm imagining it,
but it does seem like the people in charge do a lot to discourage these kinds of thoughts,
these conversations, people coming together to have these conversations.
They're very against religious faith. i just said is absolutely completely catastrophically
counter to all things government um in all ways shapes and forms i don't think it's an accident
that the reigning governmental power at the time killed jesus i don't think it's an accident that anyone who preaches anything like this comes crossways
of power because most organized power tells you, however they frame the message, the message from
organized power is you need me. You need me. That's right. And the message from Jesus and
from God, let's just stick with Christianity, is you don't need them.
I knew I'd never met you before today.
Yeah, we've never met.
And I have a ton of daughters, and I did when you were writing your books and whatever.
I wasn't living that kind of life, but I could tell
you were a deep person. Even reading
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Not to brag, I turned out
to be right. Tucker Max, thank you for spending all this time. Thank you for having me, man.
I appreciate it.
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