The Ultimate Blog Podcast - 66. How Your Thoughts Can Be Roadblocks and How to Change Them with Jessie Theulen

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

Mindset is a huge part of blogging. Today, Jessie Theulen is here with us to talk about demoting your inner critic and setting yourself up with a positive mindset so you can achieve the things that you want to. Jessie is a transformational life business coach with a background in clinical mental health counseling.  She helps her clients build unshakeable confidence while ditching limiting beliefs and negative patterns so they can breakthrough to their next level of success. This is an episode you are going to want to hear! Tune in!Thanks for listening! Connect with us on Instagram: @sparkmediaconceptsHere's the link to sign up for a free one hour coaching call with Jessie: https://calendly.com/jessietllc/clarity-callGet 20% off of Keysearch Starter Plan using this link and code: KSDISCCheck out The Blog Depot. This is a community and course that we have set up for you if you need questions answered before you start your blog. Join The Ultimate Blog Bootcamp, our online course and coaching that helps you build the blog that you have always dreamed of.SHOW NOTES:  www.sparkmediaconcepts.com/episode66

Welcome to the Ultimate Blog Podcast with Amy Reinecke and Jennifer Draper. We're on a mission to empower women who want to start or grow their own blog. This podcast is for women who want to learn blogging basics and who crave inspiration and encouragement. Whether you're just getting started or have been a blogger for years, we're excited to welcome you into this space where we are passionate about creating community over competition. We are bloggers who want to encourage you to believe in your potential, step outside the norm and step into a life where you create your own schedule, your own success and your own story. Join us for weekly episodes as we navigate blogging

and work from home life all while raising a family and having some serious fun along the way. all while raising a family and having some serious fun along the way. Mindset is a huge part of blogging. And today's conversation is going to be all about that, all about demoting your inner critic, how to set yourself up with a positive mindset so you can achieve the things that you want to. And for today's conversation, we brought on Jesse Thulin to chat about this. And so welcome to the Ultimate Blog Podcast. Jessi, we're so glad to have you. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. Yeah. So to get started, how about you just tell our listeners a little bit about

you and your story? Yeah. So I'm Jessi. I am a transformational life and business coach. I have a background in clinical mental health counseling, and I shifted over to coaching a little over a year ago. I've just found that with coaching, I was able to hold the people that I work with a lot more accountable. And it was just a lot more fun to me being in the coaching space versus the counseling space. It was a lot more results driven. So I started my practice and I've just been kind of in that since then, but a little bit more about me personally. So I've been in the personal development field probably over 10 years now, I started off basically in high school. Yeah. In high school, I started seeing my adjustment counselor and I was really struggling

with... I was having boyfriend issues at the time, actually. But I was really struggling in general with just a sense of self-worth and not feeling good enough. And on top of that, the pressure of what do I want to do with my life? What do I do after high school or college? So there was a lot going on. And I was very much people pleaser. I just did things that I thought other people wanted for me. And that's just how I survived. And it felt like I always just had this mask on of like, okay, I'm just going to pretend that I have my stuff together. I don't know if I can curse on here. But I'm like, I just need to make it look like I have my shit together all the time. And that's just kind of how I got by.

And then a few years later, come college, I realized that living that way just really wasn't sustainable. My high school world was a bit more toxic than my college world. So when I got to college and made a different friend group and really started really growing up, right, is what it was. I started realizing like, hey, I can actually live in ways that make people happy and make myself happy too. Isn't that interesting? in ways that make people happy and make myself happy too. Isn't that interesting?

And so as I started building this confidence in myself, I started really just diving into the world of personal development. I went to college at a small school in Western Massachusetts. When I graduated, I was like, you know what? I need to get out. I grew up in the same area. I went to college. I was like, it's time. I'm going to get the hell away from here. I moved to Florida, Fort Lauderdale area. And that's where I went to grad school. And I just fully immersed myself in all things, personal development, counseling, mental health. And that's where I really just started expanding on my own self growth. And again, my sense of self-worth. And that's when I tapped into really realizing that, hey, I don't just have to... There's more to life than just getting licensed or my counseling job.

I can actually build a business that really aligns with me and my values. And I never really noticed that before because I was just always told, Hey, you got to go to school. You got to go to college. You got to get your nine to five job and get your, get your benefits and then retire and die. And it was like, Oh, okay, cool. And it's funny too. Cause even as I was going through grad school I was like counseling is fun for me and I like it but is it something that I want to do for the rest of my life and the thought of just like I literally felt like I was stuck in society's boxes of you know like I said get the nine to five get your benefits then retire then die I'm like, this just doesn't feel good to me.

Working at the same job for the next 40 years, that just does not feel good. Yeah. So that's when I started really expanding on like, hey, what can I do that feels good and doesn't make me feel like I'm just waking up every day doing the same things over and over again, not really feeling happy with what I'm trying to do. So that's when I learned a lot more about the coaching industry and how to build your own business. And I never would have thought that I'd be in any means of business, anything. When I used to think of business, I used to think of accounting and numbers and that was not me. So I was like, no way. Yep. But it's like after I really learned about this work and about this world, I was like,

yes, let's do it. Let's go all in. And that's when I dove in. I opened my practice last year. Around the same time I opened my practice, I enrolled in a coaching certification course that I just finished. So a lot has kind of changed since then. It's like I always kind of knew that I wanted to help people. I just didn't really know how I wanted that to look. And so now I've created a business for myself that I get to decide on a day-to-day basis what that looks like. I love so much of what you just said, because I think that many of us have been exactly where you've been. And so I think it's incredibly relatable because you do kind of like go to college and like, okay, I got to get a nine to five and that doesn't feel exciting. I was kind of the same way. I went to college, graduated, worked on my degree for a little bit and was like,

I don't love it. Like I just, love it. The traditional corporate world or working for someone else is not for everybody the same way that entrepreneurship is not for everybody. So to know that there is not only one direct plan that you have to do in order to be successful and that just however your brain is built, how you want to build your life, you can do that. If you want to work for somebody else, great. But if you want to work for yourself, and you might not even realize or think about that, you've maybe never even thought about working for yourself. But it absolutely is a possibility for you to do that with something that you're really passionate about, I think is what's important. And that's the exciting thing,

I think, about going out and creating your own business is a lot of times when we do this, it's because we're passionate about whatever we're talking about or sharing or coaching or whatever. It's something that you're passionate about. And so also, using your own experience, I think, is important. So you use your own experience with self-doubt and growth. And I think that makes you probably really relatable as a coach, because it's hard when someone's telling you what to do, but they've never really experienced it. I feel like you're missing kind of a level of that a little bit of that understanding. And so you know how that feels.

And so you know how to tap into that to your clients, I'm sure to help them really grasp like, hey, it's okay to have these feelings, but the goal is not to stay there. So how can we get ourselves out of that feeling of, well, maybe I'm not worth this or I shouldn't do this. So let's dive into that today. We're going to talk more about this inner critic, about that inner voice that tells us you shouldn't do what you maybe want to do. So as you have clients who come to you and maybe they share something that they want to do, in this case, obviously, we're going to be talking about blogging. Let's kind of dive into that. What are some ways that somebody can tap into that inner

voice and kind of rewire what it's telling them? So with that, it's all about your level of self awareness, right? If I don't know what my critic... And when I say inner critic, just to clarify, I mean, what are the deep-rooted beliefs that you tell yourself? So my inner critic could be, I'm too old to do that, or I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I know we talked about those already. I have a fear of failure, a fear of success. It's like, like, kind of like what you said, whatever it is that's in the way that's stopping you from actually taking the steps and reaching what you want to reach.

And it's all about the level of self-awareness that you have, because once you're, if you don't know it's there, then you can't change it. Right? So when we talk about our inner critic, it basically comes back to how is your mindset? What is your mindset? And your mindset is your, it's your series of beliefs. It's your belief system. It's your general thought patterns that are based off your own experiences. So it's like, you need to think of your mind as a literal operating system. So it's like you need to think of your mind as a literal operating system.

It's been programming information since the day you were born by trying to make sense of yourself, by trying to make sense of other people, trying to make sense of the world. That's what the mind is. It's a meaning-making machine. So typically, there are two mindsets. And there's the victim and then there's the empowered mindset. So it's about becoming aware of what specifically are the thoughts you're thinking. If they sound more like, Ugh, I have to do this.

Why me? Why do I have to do this? They're making me do this. I can't do this. It's all their fault. I didn't do anything, right? That typically sounds like a victim kind of mindset, right? It's something that blames, complains, makes excuses.

There's no trust. You're looping in doubt, right? It's something that blames, complains, makes excuses. There's no trust. You're looping in doubt, okay? It's keeping you small. But then there's the empowered mindset, which sounds like instead of why me, it's why not me? It's I choose to do this instead of I can't do this or I choose not to do this, right? Your empowered mindset says, I'm choosing to be happy. to do this, right? Your empowered mindset says, I'm choosing to be happy. Happiness is a choice. It's about taking responsibility for your own life. The first step there about going back to the inner critic is really about building that self-awareness of where is my mindset at right now? And there's no judgment if there is, if somebody is in a victim mindset. I say this to my clients all the time, there's no judgments. It's like thinking of yourself as you're simply a scientist extracting data. You're just observing,

that's it. Because again, when you know what's coming up for you, then you can change it. So first step, self-awareness. And then the second step, which is probably the most powerful step I get into is the self-acceptance phase. And this is really powerful because a lot of times when people try to sustain any kind of positive behavioral change, let's say somebody, maybe somebody in terms of blogging is getting really stuck with the fear of failure and they don't want to start yet. They're like, they're keeping pushing it off. They're like, no, not yet. I'll do it tomorrow.

I'll start on Monday, right? They keep procrastinating and pushing it off. So it's like, instead of avoiding what's happening, avoiding the fear, because all avoiding does is keep it perpetuating. Ironically, when you accept the fear and when you accept it's there, that's when it'll actually naturally start moving through. And that's what a lot of people don't

realize because the very thing that they're trying to avoid is actually perpetuating itself. And so when you go through and you actually do the acceptance work and you drop the judgments and you just allow the love and the compassion to fully come through, then you'll be able to move into the third stage, which is aligned action. And it's not just action because you're not coming from a forceful place of doing things. It's aligned action because once you do the acceptance work, you feel fully aligned in the decisions that you're making moving forward in order to make things happen. That's like a small breakdown of the coaching methodology that I use in terms of helping people

move through blocks, especially mindset blocks, but helping people move through blocks, through limitations, so they can really get to, like I said, their next level of success, whatever that looks like for them. Yeah, that's so powerful. And I really like how you broke it down to say that there's basically two mindsets that simplifies it so much. It's not as complicated. We're not as complicated as we think we are. We're kind of here or there. So if you're stuck in that victim mindset, like I know you went through some of the process, but how can you just open your mind to hearing what you're telling yourself? What are some exercises that you can do to kind of start to figure out and be honest with yourself about where you're at? Because I think that's something probably a lot of us struggle with because we are sort of making those excuses. Maybe the excuses, I don't have time.

I don't have money. I don't have knowledge. I feel like those are really common excuses. I don't have time. I don't have money. I don't have knowledge. I feel like those are really common excuses. But now that I am hearing what you're saying, those may be going back more to that victim mentality. So how can we start to be honest with ourselves about those excuses so that we can overcome them? Yeah, absolutely. So I'd say anybody just starting out doing mindset work, if you're listening and you're finding that, hey, maybe I am in a bit of this victim mindset, I'm going to just to keep it super easy and practical.

I'm just going to give you four questions to ask yourself as you go through this process. So whenever you notice any kind of limiting thought coming up, kind of like what you said about, I don't have enough money to do this, or I can't do this, whatever the thought is, is first ask, where does this belief come from? Get curious about what are your past experiences like? Again, that's what your mind is made up of is how it perceives your past. So where does this belief come from? And then the second question is, is it true? 100% without a shadow of a doubt, is this thought true? And then you really get to expand your mind to see what's true beyond my current way of thinking, right? It's almost like going to the gym, but for your mind, it's like going to the mindset gym. Yeah.

And then the third is what evidence do I have that supports this belief? So you're going to go through and literally find evidence that makes this true. And then on the flip side of that, you're going to ask yourself fourth question, what evidence disproves this belief? And you're going to go through and literally find the evidence to prove it wrong. Because again, the more that you really, even if you find that the thought might be true, the more that you train yourself to go through questioning your thoughts and creating the process for yourself, the more that your mind is really

going to expand past what it's used to, right? The more you question your thoughts, the more you start seeing that there's actually a space between who you are as a person and what your thoughts tell you you are. And when you're able to really tap into that space, that's when you tap into magic. That's where you really push yourself to your limits because you're expanding beyond what your mind is telling you. Yeah. That's so powerful. And I like how concrete those steps are. I really like things laid out like that. Here's what you can do step by step by step. It makes so much sense. Jennifer loves a plan. I love a plan. And that's why too, I like,

I like coaching so much because even though there's aspects of going there, there's tons of aspects of going deep and clearing the past and doing things like that. It's also very practical stuff and it's results based. So it's like, there's a lot of water. There's also a lot of fire with it. And I love the same way, Jennifer. I love the practicality part of it. I'll even go a step further to say, if you do find that a thought is true, like you cannot see what other way that it's true.

I would go back and even peel back the layers of that. So ask yourself if it's true, what am I making it mean about me? Then you come up with a new thought of, okay, this means that I am this. So maybe it means I'm not good enough. Then I go through the whole process again. Okay. Where does this belief come from? Is this true? What real evidence do I have that I'm not good enough? Or what real evidence do I have that I am good enough? And so it's literally about peeling back the layers. And we are digging deep. Yeah. Implementing keyword research and competition analysis into your content strategy is a surefire

way to improve your chances of people finding your content and we love how simple key search makes it to find keywords we actually want to use in our posts key search is a powerful keyword research tool that makes finding relevant low competition keywords for your blog simple and easy. If you think optimizing your blog and doing keyword research has to be hard, think again. Give this powerhouse tool a try and see how much easier it will be to create content for your blog. Not only is it reasonably priced, even for beginning bloggers, but you can use our code for 20% off your subscription. Click the link in our show notes to learn more. off your subscription. Click the link in our show notes to learn more.

Yeah, but I think it is worth going deep because it is a lot of times we, I think we attach emotion to a feeling. Let me explain. Cause that, that doesn't make sense. Feelings should be fairly neutral. So like when we're thinking about doing something like, and let's say it's good or bad, like we attach that emotion, good or bad, instead of just having like neutral thoughts, we make it emotional. Always. I make it emotional. So Jennifer is laughing, but I mean, I think I've just learned that in the last year and a half, especially like our business has kind of grown and we're more in the coaching aspect. And just our business has totally changed than when we initially started it in 2017. And so you do...

As you grow your business, you tap into... I'm going to call them flaws. These little hairline flaws, we'll be kind, that are like, wow, this is what's actually holding me back from my true potential. And a lot of times, for me personally, what I figure out is I attach too much emotion to a project or something that I don't think I can do. I'll start saying that, well, I'm bad or I'm not good enough or that. And instead of just saying, well, I just don't understand this yet. And period, the end, that's it. Instead it's, I don't understand this yet. And so I'm dumb. I don't understand this yet. And so I the end, that's it. Instead, it's, I don't understand this yet.

And so I'm dumb. I don't understand this yet. And so I'm not supposed to do this. Instead of just making it very kind of a neutral statement, we expand probably too much. And then I think that expansion is what can hold us back from ever even taking the necessary step forward to do whatever it is that we want to do. Exactly. Totally. And that's the ego. That's what's being brought into is the ego making all of these assumptions. Because again, it's that meaning making machine. There always has to be a solution. And I love this quote by William Shakespeare actually said it. It's nothing is good nor bad, but thinking makes it so. And that's what we do because our minds literally make things mean, like our minds literally divide the world into parts of

good and bad, right and wrong, shouldn't, shouldn't. But what if we let go of that? What if we let go of these ideas of how things should be and just let things be as they are. Because the second we say this should be a certain way, we're literally arguing with reality because it's not. As much as you think it should be, it's not. So you're literally arguing with reality at this point. It's like, instead, how can we figure out how to naturally move with ease with the flow of life and really get into that instead of trying to resist it. Because when we resist it in that way and say, I should do this, I should do that, all that does is add another layer of resistance on top of the block that's already there that

you're going to have to work through. So it's like you're pushing yourself further and further away from the root cause of everything. Yeah. And I think this all goes back to what you said in the very beginning of its self-awareness that I think that has to be the first step because a lot of us don't even realize kind of the thoughts that we are holding about different things that we're wanting to do. And I mean, this can honestly, this doesn't even have to just apply to blogging. This is just like life in general, I feel like, but it can definitely bleed over to the business side for sure. But I think it's allowing yourself to get curious. I love that idea of getting curious because it's nonjudgmental. It is literally just asking questions. And so allowing yourself to be curious about the thoughts that

you're feeling and maybe people, I mean, I know from experience, you kind of shove those thoughts down. It's scary to ask yourself, what does that really mean? Or where does that really come from? That can bring up a lot of stuff that a lot of people might not feel comfortable bringing up. And so how does somebody work through that? Let's say that they start with that self-awareness and they realize, oh my gosh, essentially my thoughts are limiting me from living the life that I want to live. But these thoughts are scary. And I don't know how to process them and move forward with them. What is your advice for someone who's having those feelings?

So this is actually super, super common what you're bringing up. And in general, I'm going back to practical. There's three stages of self-awareness and you just described the second one, which is the hardest one. I'll just quickly go through each to make it make sense. The first phase of self-awareness is none. You don't realize something is there. You're just living out of your blocks unconsciously. You're not realizing why you're procrastinating. You don't know why you're overworking. You don't know why you're staying busy all the time for no reason. You just don't know.

The second level is what you were just talking about, Amy, is about knowing that the thoughts are there, but it's like, okay, I know they're there, but what do I do? All of a sudden, I know now I have this victim mindset. How do I change it? And like you said, that can be really overwhelming because now every time that I act out of this victim mode, I see it and then I judge myself more for it because I don't know what to do with it. Yeah. So the third level of self-awareness, though, is what I was talking about before about really creating and expanding on the space between what you are and what your thoughts are. So it's like the more that you go through and yes, it's going

to be uncomfortable. You need to be okay with the discomfort, but it's the more you go through and you stretch that tolerance of discomfort, the more you're able to really stretch your capacity and to really build that space again, between who you are at your essence as a person and then what your mind is. And it's about, again, just stretching that capacity. And a lot of times people think, no, it's just easier to not go there. But when you actually go there, people often will find that, wow, this actually wasn't like it. It was hard, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. And when they go there, they actually end up becoming a lot more clear. So even though it might be difficult in the process, when you're done, you feel a little lighter. You're like,

wait, I actually learned something new about myself. I created these new insights. I created these new awarenesses about myself. And I also now have the insight to know that I'm actually not a bad person or I am worth it despite what my mind is telling me, right? I'm now gaining the awareness to see that I am so much bigger than the things that my thoughts tell me. Yeah. I was just thinking, like, you must start to feel this sense of like almost liking yourself more or forgiving yourself more, or in a way, treating yourself like other people may be treating you. We're so hard on ourselves. Whereas if we were to ask a friend, they would be so much kinder to us. So maybe if we can separate ourselves from some of this, we can be much kinder to ourselves and give ourselves

more space to be able to do the things that we want to do. Yes, exactly. And I call that the platinum rule. So growing up, I was taught like the golden rule, treat people the way you want to be treated, which is super important, 100%. But the people pleaser in me took that to a whole nother level. And so what I really started adopting... Oh gosh, yes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I can relate to that. Yeah. And so what I really started adopting was this idea of if I'm not going to say it to a friend, I'm certainly not going to say it to me. That's the platinum rule is I'm going to treat myself

how I treat other people. And it's like an inverse operation of that. And I mean, maybe I wouldn't recommend that to somebody who wasn't such a people pleaser and maybe somebody who was maybe a little more self-absorbed. I wouldn't recommend that. But for the people who are the people pleasers or the peacemakers, or they just find it really hard to separate themselves from other people and create the boundaries they need is, yeah, it's okay. How can I treat myself the same way that I treat other people? Because that's what's going to give you the same amount of respect and self-love and liking and acceptance that you've been craving. Yeah. And I think too, something to say about people pleasers is I think sometimes they might not go after what they want because it might not

be what those in their life think they should do. Or maybe they don't feel like they have support or encouragement in any area. And so they kind of talk themselves out of it, whatever it is. Let's say that you're a people pleaser and you want to start a blog, but you don't have the support of your closest family and friends. They think it's crazy and they think the blogging is dead. Or why would you ever want to put yourself out there online? Or why would you ever want to share different things? And so they'll talk themselves out of it. And even though maybe that's what they

were created for was to share, I don't know, that passion, that expertise or whatever. And so then they run this rat race of, well, I'm not doing it because it's not making, it wouldn't make other people happy. So I'm not doing it, but I'm not happy either. So essentially there's this pull. And I think that people pleasing is something that can hold people back from their full potential because they care a little bit too much about what other people think. Absolutely. 100%. So what's coming to my mind as you were talking was this, it's either you're just not going to do it at all as the people pleaser, or you're just waiting on other external things to happen. So it's, oh, when this happens, I'll be happy. Oh my gosh. When this happens,

I'll be happy. Right? So it's, it's either you're not doing it at all, or you're waiting on something to give you the okay to do it. You need somebody else or something else to give you the validation that it's okay, right? And so now you have these people in your life saying, why do you want to do this? This is stupid. This is dumb. But it's like, well, why not you?

If somebody else can do it, if somebody else can make a living on a blog, which many people are doing right now and have done. Why not you? I mean, could you imagine if we went into life with the mentality of why not? I mean, we have, we we've heard these stories of mothers lifting full on cars to save their children from underneath. Do you think before they did that, they stopped to think, oh, am I going to be able to do this? Yeah. They just jumped in and they did it. Right. Yep. And then they were able to actually achieve it. It's like,

could you imagine the power that we'd have showing up for ourselves if we just went in with, why not me? Right. Yeah. I love that mindset shift. And do you think that these expectations from other people, when we're holding ourselves back in that way, does that impact the goals we set for ourselves too? If somebody's like, well, if you're going to do that, you should be making money from it. When maybe somebody wants to start a blog because they want to be able to reach and help a certain group of people, but they set a goal that's maybe based on somebody else's expectation. Do you think we do that to ourselves as well? Oh, absolutely. And I'm not going to say that if we have blocks like this or like anything, then you're not going to reach your goals. That's not necessarily true. It's just, it's going to take you a lot longer to get to that point.

So the reason that I bring that up is because if I'm creating a blog and I just want to do this blog for fun, but I set the goal of making money because somebody told me that I should do that and I'm just blogging now to make money, I'm not going to feel aligned with what I'm doing in my blog. So because of that, I'm going to start unconsciously doing things in blogging that's going to limit my actual growth to people. And it's going to keep my blog small. And maybe I won't be as relatable in the things that I'm saying because now I'm not coming off as authentic anymore because I'm trying to make this goal happen that I really don't feel aligned with at all. And that's super, super common too, when people, whether it's a block coming from somebody else, or whether it's just having a

lack of vision or a lack of a goal, you don't know what you're working towards. So you're just kind of in this limbo and not a whole lot is really moving the needle forward. Right? So it's like, I can still have a, even if I want to make my blog for fun and I have this goal of, I want to make X amount of money by this time, I could still potentially reach that goal and make money. But do I want to, does that feel good to me? I don't know. Is that how you want to live your life? Right. And those are, and those are the things that you have to ask yourself. If I don't reach the goal by a certain time, could I still make money? Yeah. But again, whose goal am I fulfilling here? My own or

somebody else's that was put on me? I think that's super powerful because I think that happens in a lot of different things in our life. Somebody else says, well, I think you should be doing this. And so then you doubt what you're doing. And then you might have a change of course. Maybe I should be doing that. And then it kind of feeds that doubt to wherever you're spending your time or your effort or whatever. And then I think you've said this before, then you won't get there as fast. And it's because we're constantly taking this input from everybody else and what they think we should do instead of just like honing in on our own self-awareness, chasing our own journey and moving along that process. We could really simplify it if we just like block out everybody.

And that's the funny part too, is like, I have so many practical steps that I could do. Okay. Step one, step two, step three, ask yourself this, this, this, do this, this, this. Super simple, right? But is it easy? Right? That's another question. That's not so much. It's simple, but is it easy? Not always. But I think when you do this mindset work, it doesn't just heal one aspect of your life. I think it bleeds into everything else. I think when you start to question your thoughts and question why you think certain things or why you're not achieving certain things or, okay, I do have a block here that I didn't even realize, then you can ask yourself, how else is this showing up in my life? It might not just be showing up in, well, I've wanted to start a blog for five years

and I haven't because my parents told me that this is really dumb. And I went to college and I wasted all of my money and now I'm going to start a blog. But it's not just about that. It's about a whole bunch of other things that when we heal this one area, it bleeds. And then I think that's when we can find that confidence overall with ourselves because we're healing some of those past thoughts that we didn't even realize were kind of like boulders in the way of getting us where we need to go. Absolutely. You're spot on with that. You have all these different areas of your life, right? You have your career, you have your relationships, your hobbies, your spirituality, your financial health,

you have so many different aspects of your life. And no matter what's going on, whether it's good things or bad things, energy will naturally leak through. So if I'm experiencing something negative, let's say in my career, yeah, that energy is probably going to leak through into maybe my relationships or my hobbies. I mean, you see all the time, even on TV shows, people get stressed at work, they come home and they blow up at their partner. Yeah. You know, it's all that energy leaks through. So it's like when you are able to heal a part of yourself in one area, that also is going to leak through and it is going to help you in other areas because the parts of you that you've healed are now, it's not like it's just healed

in this relationship aspect, right? It's healed everywhere. It's exactly what you said, Amy. It's really about leveraging it so you feel fully aligned in all aspects and in all areas of your life. And having the self-awareness to know, hey, yeah, maybe I feel really uneasy

at home because this thing happened at work today or vice versa. And giving yourself more compassion with that when things come up, because things are going to happen. It's not like we can be joyful 24 seven. Things are going to come up that you're going to have to handle. So it's about figuring out what that balance is and having the awareness to know I'm more than this. And even though it doesn't feel okay right now, it will always be okay. I really like that. I like what you just said. I love that.

Will you say that one more time? Even though it doesn't feel okay, it will always be okay. Yeah. Even if it doesn't feel okay right now, it's having the knowing that it will always be okay. It's like my favorite thing that you've said in this entire podcast. That's pretty darn good. But that's the goal, right? Yes.

Yes. When you have solid emotional intelligence and emotional management, you can literally tap into anything. It is so, so powerful. It's like the same idea when people say this too shall pass. It's like, yeah, it feels really uncomfortable right now and it might not feel okay right now, but it's going to be okay. It's always okay. Yeah. And it probably just leads to making better decisions because you're so much more calm in those moments where it's not feeling okay because you know it's going to be okay. Exactly. It's building the resiliency. Yeah. Because like you said, whether it's in your

personal life or your work or with kids or whatever, we do have those times that things are not going the way that either we expected them to go or think they should go. So it's building that resiliency. And I think that what I'm learning from you today is just that self-awareness to know like, okay, thought comes up. How are we going to navigate this today? And the thoughts are okay. I'm going to feel neutral about them. But what is this thought telling me today? And how can I use that to heal or make this situation better, not worse? Right. Exactly. That's the resilient mind. And that's tapping into the empowered mindset is, okay, this isn't working right now, but how can I make it work? It's going beyond the limitations

of your mind. Well, this has been amazing, Jessie. I love that you gave very concrete tips. I know Jennifer did too, because she likes to plan. Yep. But you did, you just gave some really concrete tips that I think that people can take back and ask themselves these questions and get comfortable with being uncomfortable with their thoughts for a little bit. So thank you for sharing that. I think that is going to be really, really helpful for our listeners today. And you also have something that you wanted to offer our listeners as well. So would you like to share that? Sure. Yeah. So I told Amy and Jennifer for their audience, whoever's listening to the podcast, I'm happy to offer a free one hour coaching session just for showing up for yourself and wanting to better yourself, better your blog,

whatever your intention was for coming today. I'm more than happy to hold that space for you. Not only because I want to help you move the needle forward, but also I am a firm believer is when you say yes to yourself, other things will start happening. Where attention goes, energy flows. And so I'm coming from a place that because you said yes and wanting to better yourself, better your blog for listening, I want to show you that because you said yes, I'm also going to offer this to you just for being here now. That's incredible. Thank you. I will put the link in our show notes that you can get scheduled with Jesse,

if that's something that you would like to do. This has just been a really enlightening episode. I think it's been impactful. And I'm sure you're going to get people contacting you. So and how else can they connect with you, Jessie? So I'm on social media. I'm on Instagram and on TikTok at coach Jessie T-J-E-S-S-I-E. And then I also my email address is jessie at jessietllc.com. address is jessie at jessietllc.com. Awesome. We will put all of that in the show notes. And thank you so much to pouring into our community. I think that when we are in this online space, it's hard to have that encouragement because we don't have like a coworker or a boss or whatever. We're having to kind of encourage ourselves. So that was really the heart behind bringing you on today is to offer that encouragement to those people who are

in the online space who need that encouragement. And I think you nailed it. I think this is amazing. So absolutely. Yeah. Thank you so much. Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me here. I'm super excited. I think that was a great conversation. So I love talking about things like this. It lights me up. So I'm very happy to be here. Thank you. Thanks so much for tuning in today. If you'd like to continue the conversation about blogging with us, please find us on Instagram at spark media concepts. You can also sign up for our weekly newsletter where we share blogging tips and inspiration. You can sign up by finding the link in the show notes. For those of you who are ready for the next step and want to start your own blog, join the waitlist for the ultimate blog

bootcamp. The link to join the waitlist is also in the show notes. Go out and make today a great day.