The Unbelievable Truth - 16x03 The 1970s, The Moon, Toys, Electricity

Episode Date: February 18, 2022

16x03 18 April 2016 Elis James, Maeve Higgins, Reginald D. Hunter, David O'Doherty The 1970s, The Moon, Toys, Electricity

We present The Unbelievable Truth, the panel game built on truth and lies. In the chair, please welcome David Mitchell. Hello and welcome to The Unbelievable Truth. on truth and lies. In the chair, please welcome David Mitchell. Hello and welcome to The Unbelievable Truth, the panel show about incredible truths and barely credible lies. I'm David Mitchell. This week's panel is 100% guaranteed to make you laugh, consisting as it does of four comedians who are 25% guaranteed to make you laugh. Please welcome David O'Doherty, Ellis James, Maeve Higgins and Reginald D. Hunter. The rules are as follows. Each panelist will present a short lecture that should be entirely false,

save for five hidden truths which their opponents should try to identify. Points are scored by truths that go unnoticed, while other panellists can win points if they spot a truth or lose points if they mistake a lie for a truth. First up is Ellis James. Ellis, your subject is the 1970s, a decade in the 20th century which saw great social and cultural change

spawning many iconic games, films, TV shows and songs. Off you go, Ellis. Fingers on buzzers, the rest of you. The 1970s were bleak years. I mean, they definitely were. Is it too early? Well, it's interesting, isn't it? That's not one of the truths that Ellis was given, but, I mean, it's certainly arguable.

I mean, define a bleak year. When I can't walk, yes. Zero walking would be a main thing. I'm not sure I can accept the definition of a bleak year entirely in terms of what you were experiencing. Well, you know Bleak House, the Dickens book that no-one's read? Well, in that, no-one can walk. And it's set in the 70s.

A lot of people who can't walk wearing flares. I think I'm going to give you a bonus point. It was quite a bleak decade. I've got a vague montage of footage of Ted Heath looking worried. Lots of bin bags piled up. Bin bags, Ted Heath. And it's always, on every documentary, it's always that Margaret Thatcher speech,

where there is discord, may we bring harmony, cut to footage of the miners' strike. That's like a documentary sort of rule. Yes, although that is the 80s. Yes. Just trying to play with your mind and maybe sort of... Anyway, the 1970s were bleak years. Britain still had rationing and it was the decade music died.

All that was available to the hardcore music lover was third-wave prog rock bands such as Pink CC, Sauron's Grief Silo or ABBA. ABBA, of course, were briefly called engaged couples. Other names they rejected include the Melody Men and their captive songbirds and the Pop Gnomes from Stockholm. But not all bands were as gratingly discordant as ABBA...a'r dynion melodig yn eu bywydau canolig.....a'r gnoemau pop o Stocholm. Ond nid oedd pob band yn mor anoddach na'r Abba.

Cynlluniau punk melodig a'r cwmpa, fel Ffylopi a'r Tyb Tren... ..a Kevin Wretch a'r cwrdd â Phlastocast Fflem... ..werech yn cael 10 o gyfnodau. Gweithio gan arweinyddion nioligol... ..comi i'r cyffredin ac i Chula Clark... ..Dewis Jones, neu Yoffie, wedi llwyddo'r pwffig... ..a'i ffilmio ar ôl ystod y bwff o Ffinger Bob.....yn trafod eu cameroedd yn dal i fynd. David. I think the Fallopian Tubes might have been a punk band.

I mean, it's taken a while for me to mould it over. Maybe I'm seeing the album artwork could be like the tube map. Yeah, and I imagine if you're listening to him in stereo, you don't know if the sound is going to come from the left or the right. Exactly, yeah. A joke for all my menstruating girls out there. Oh, I thought it was talking about the tube. No, like which one the egg is going to come down.

So it's sort of like the Northern Line. APPLAUSE to come down. So it's sort of like the Northern Line. Unfortunately, Fallopian Tube Train is not a real pump band. In 1976, Queen Elizabeth II sent her first email, which is why she's lucky enough to have the email address liz1 at beatinginternet.co.uk. It wasn't until 1983 that the VHS video recorder made watching

pornography in a caravan possible for the first time in history. And if you were unable to afford a caravan to watch pornography in, you could give the Rubik's Cube a go. Rubik's Cubas can suffer from Cubist's Tick, which is when the empty hands twitch uncontrollably as if still trying to solve the cube. I'm sorry, I believe that. I believe that that's a fact, what he just said. Cubist's tick? Yep.

When the hands twitching uncontrollably as if still trying... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and give it to me. Go ahead and give it to me, Dave. Go ahead. Unfortunately, it's not a thing. Cubist's tick. Give it to me anyway. The 1979 film Monty Python's Life of Brian was banned for blasphemy by the local council of Runnymede

until it was pointed out that Runnymede doesn't have any cinemas. Feelings ran so high on the council that it was suggested they build a cinema in the district just so they could ban it. Maeve? I think that is probably true that it was banned. I think it was banned in some places.

It was banned in Ireland. Yeah. But you said, where did you say? Runnymede. Runnymede. Oh, that's not a real place. No, it is a real place.

Oh, okay. Now, I know it sounds like it's from The Lord of the Rings or something. But no, Runnymede was where King John and the Baron

signed the Magna Carta. Oh! You know, that's... He seemed shocked. Breaking news. Evil king and barons reach agreement. It's just that I don't have a VHS recorder, so I miss everything. Yes, so it is a real place,

and it tried to ban the life of Brian despite having no cinemas from which to ban it. Well done. You get a point. Thank you. What's the film called with the cowboys who fall in love and make love in a tent? Brokeback Mountain. My friend was on an internal flight in India a few years ago,

and he watched... They had cut it back to 45 minutes. Removed the entire homosexual plot from it, so it was just a really tense film about farming. So did the 1970s produce any notable innovations? Well, not only was Gravity nationalised under Edward Heath, making it free for all at the point of use, but curry was invented in 1978..a'r cyflwyniadau cyffredinol. Nid oedd yn unig bod Grawdei yn ei ddatblygu... ..a'r Rhedwaith yn ei wneud yn ffurf i bawb.

Ond roedd Curry yn ei ddysgu yn 1978... ..a'i gweithio fel ffwrdd llyfn o'r enw Chicken and Crazy Gravy. Roedd y dylunio car modern yn cael ei ddiffyg... .. gan yr Austin Allegro, a oedd yn fwy aeroddynamig... ..n ystod ei rhedeg, ac yn ystod ei rhedeg.....ac yn ystod ei rhedeg, roedd yn y cyntaf... backwards than when he was being driven forwards was the first car to have more ashtrays than seats. David. More aerodynamic going backwards than going forwards. You're right. The Austin Allegro was more

aerodynamic when travelling backwards than when being driven forwards. How did that get signed off? I mean, I think British Leyland went through a pretty bad patch. For parking, it would be efficient when you're packing into this space. If you're doing a lot of parking, you'd get the fuel efficiency gain. In short, if you've ever worn a tank top to a job interview

or paid for something by drilling for North Sea Oil, you have the 1970s to thank. Thank you, Ellis. Thank you, Ellis. you have the 1970s to thank. Thank you, Ellis. And at the end of that round, Ellis, you've managed to smuggle three truths past the rest of the panel,

which are that ABBA were briefly called engaged couples. The quartet made their first appearance in 1969 as the Cabaret Act Festfolk, a 1970s slang term in Swedish meaning engaged couples. The second truth is that Rick Jones, or Joffe, destroyed the mouse puppet after filming the last episode of Finger Bobs while the camera was still rolling. Presenter Rick Jones was apparently so sick of making the show, even though it

only ran for 13 episodes, that he couldn't wait for the camera to stop rolling before destroying the finger puppets. The third truth that Ellis managed to smuggle is that Queen Elizabeth II sent her first email in 1976. Oh, wow. She sent it during

a visit to an army base at a time when the technology was in its infancy. Her first email was probably, my cousin, the Crown Prince of Burundi, needs 20,000 immediately to unlock a huge sum of money. And that means, Ellis, that you've scored three points. OK, we turn now to Maeve Higgins. She's an Irish writer who has recently moved to New York.

She got the idea from every Irish writer ever. Maeve, your subject is the moon, planet Earth's natural satellite, usually visible at night by reflected light from the sun. Off you go, Maeve. In the 19th century, when the English had run out of countries to colonise, why didn't they point their empire-building finger at the moon?

In fact, they didn't dare to point at the moon because it was disrespectful. No buzzes? Interesting. The North American grey wolf howls at the moon, a habit it picked up from the southern grasshopper mouse, the only carnivorous mouse in North America, which howls on moonlit nights as it feasts on its prey.

It sounds quite like this. Rawr. Reg. I do believe that the North American grey wolf does howl at the moon. You're American, right, so maybe we should take his word for it. Have you heard that? I'm not going to take his word for it.

That's not how this works. And I can tell you, no, it does not howl at the moon. It howls, and it howls at night. But it's not howling at the moon. How do you know? I'm basing it on what's written on this piece of paper that I just handed over today. I hate to be pedantic here,

and I can't believe I've just said that to you of all people, but if it howls at night, sometimes it howls at the moon. Are you saying that if it howls when the moon's there, that means it's howling at the moon? In fact, I'm glad he said that. Does that piece of paper say

the North American grey wolf howls at night, but it never, ever howls at the moon? Does it say that? What it says is that the North American grey wolf howls at night, but it never, ever howls at the moon. Does it say that? Yeah, that's... What it says is... What it says is that North American grey wolf, they howl at each other, and they're nocturnal creatures. So often they are howling at the same time as the moon is visible.

So you're saying a nocturnal creature just decided, I ain't gonna mess with the moon, though. No, what I'm saying is that if you're a non-nocturnal creature, like, say, a dog, and you're barking, people don't assume, oh, look at that dog barking at the sun. It's just... Well, it's just because it's at night time, you're assuming, oh, it must be to do with the moon.

It's not. It's just getting on with its business. They're not howling at the sky. They're just... In order to howl, it's a sort of upward movement of the chin, isn't it? Really? Really? So you're saying that you've got to be holding your head upwards in order to howl. You can't hold your head down and howl.

Well, I'm going to try. Howl. No, you can't. You've got to get that howl. Well, you know what? I'm glad you did that little demonstration. Now I believe you. Thank you. Amazing. I did a little demonstration, now I believe it.

Thank you. Maeve. Astronauts are good at one thing and one thing only, and that is going into space. If you think differently, it's just because you saw the movie Gravity and you got all mixed up. Red. What wolves do howl at the moon? I mean, if the North American grey wolf don't do it, surely there are wolves that do howl at the moon? I mean, if the North American grey wolf don't do it,

surely there are wolves that do howl at the moon. It might be helpful for you to understand that they're, like, communicating with each other, because, like, how else are they going to communicate with each other? Do they have phones, iPods, nothing? When they're yelling, they're yelling at each other. It's nothing to do with what's in the sky. You know what, Maeve? As I think about what you said, I don't find that very helpful at all.

But I sure appreciate that, though. I sure appreciate it. No, I don't know as much about wolves as I wish I did. Oh, you seem like an expert two minutes ago. No. All I'm telling you is that the North American grey wolf does not howl at the moon. I can tell by your tone you feel quite done with this subject. No, I'm just saying they're highly evolved carnivores.

They're not going to waste time howling at the moon. They don't howl at the stars, do they? I don't think so. God, I've opened a real can of worms now. Actually, worms don't come in cans. In reality, poor old Neil Armstrong worked as a janitor in a high school through his later years, and his co-pilot, Buzz Aldrin,

failed to sell a single car in the six months he worked as a car salesman on his return from space. I'll jump in there. I'll have Buzz working in a... You just hear the word Buzz and you buzzed. Are you talking about Aldrin? Because I imagine people, if I heard

Buzz Aldrin was working in a car dealership, I'd be like, well, I'll go and talk to him and pretend I want to buy a car. Then I'd ask him what the moon was like. But you're right, though. He did. He worked at a car dealership. Aldrin had a bit of a rough patch after returning to Earth.

After a failed stint in the US Air Force, he started drinking, had an affair affair suffered depression and a marriage breakup before taking a job at a cadillac dealership in beverly hills where he failed to sell a single car in his six months in the job i'm not surprised those are such different skill sets like i know but you very different skills may you ever see the footage of when the apollo uh landing craft hits the moon He walks around and he's kicking the tires. And he's like, she's abuse. Just an old lady. I mean, she used it to go shopping a couple of times a week. But that was it, really.

I mean, I'm not quite sure how Buzz Aldrin actually sounds. But I've really committed myself to this voice. I would be quite surprised if he sounded like that. But if he did, it would explain why he did not sell a single car. I got an ass that'll leg right here. She goes backwards like a rocket.

I should know It is said rather poetically that the moon is always falling and in case you're wondering yes that is why I'm wearing this bicycle helmet in the studio David The moon is indeed always falling and at some point in the future it will rejoin the earth, creating a sort of...

A Venn diagram. Like a Venn diagram where the intersection is dead people. It is true that the moon is always falling. Yes! Yes! It is true that the moon is always falling. Yes! The moon is perpetually falling towards the Earth.

However, it has a sideways motion of its own that balances this falling motion. It therefore stays in a closed orbit about the Earth, never falling altogether and never escaping altogether. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the moon, but for a satellite, don't you think it's kind of embarrassing that you can't even get the basic TV stations up there? If you're desperate, you can pick up FM radio

stations on the moon. Actually, that's the only place they've been available since 1994. Boom. Reg? I do believe you can pick up FM radio stations on the moon. I do believe that. You're right to believe that. That is correct. I'm on to you, Maeve. It took me a few paragraphs to centre in

on what your truth is, but I got you now. That was the last line. Thank you, Maeve. And at the end of that round, Maeve, you managed to smuggle two truths past the rest of the panel, which are that pointing at the moon was considered disrespectful. It was a popular belief that pointing at the moon

and indeed counting the stars brought bad luck. And according to one British superstition, anyone who pointed at it nine times could not enter heaven. And the second truth is that the southern grasshopper mouse, the only carnivorous mouse in North America, howls on moonlit nights as it feasts on its prey. And that means, Maeve, you've scored two points. There's a crater on the moon called Birmingham,

and indeed one in the Midlands. Moon was the maiden name of Buzz Aldrin's mother. So Buzz was simply following in his father's footsteps when he landed on an untouched moon and started exploring. Next up is Reginald D. Hunter. Reginald, your subject is toys. Objects, typically model or miniature replicas of something, which are given to children to play with.

Off you go, Reginald. Toys. An essay by Reginald D. Hunter. The earliest discovered toy is a bronze slinky from the Bronze Age, about 5,000 BC. The reason slinkies weren't made before that date was because in the Stone Age, there were no staircases. Mattel produced the defecation toy

known as Barbie and her dog Tanner. The child feeds brown, magnetic, log-shaped food into Tanner's mouth, lifts up the dog's tail, and then watches the food slide out of Tanner's backside. David. I think kids really like cleaning up after fake dogs. So I'm going to jump straight in there and say that is 100% definitely true.

So let's not even have a discussion, just carry on. Give me the point. Well, it is true, so you get the point. Thank you. Another little known fact, the original toy was to have Barbie do the pooping. But they focus grouped it, and the only group that liked it

were middle-aged, rich Japanese bitches. The hula hoop was banned in Albania, Egypt, and Indonesia. The Albanians and Egyptians believed the lascivious pelvic gyrations would encourage immorality, and in Indonesian, the word hula hoop means testicle. Maeve. I feel like maybe that could be true. Like, it's ludicrous, but I think it was banned in the countries for being too sexy.

And it's also horribly revealing when, like, you try and do the hula hoop and you can't really do it, and then, like, everyone knows you're bad at sex. The hula hoop was an invention to try and figure out which girls you'd have to do all the work with. Yes. That's why it should be banned. I don't know whether to...

I think... Give me, it's fine. You should have pity points at least. Well, I think I have to give you a point and take a point away because it was not banned in Albania or Egypt, but it was banned in Indonesia.

It was also banned, by the way, in the Soviet Union and Japan. Japan and Indonesia believed it was indecent to shake one's hips in public, whilst the Soviet Union denounced the hoop as an example of, quote, the emptiness of American culture. I don't think I look

particularly erotic when I'm eating hula hoops. For Valentine's Day 2005, the Vermont Teddy Bear Company brought out a Crazy For You bear, tightly bound in a white straitjacket that came with its own commitment papers. Copper Kick is a Japanese-Russian roulette game for kids. The child points the gun at his or her own head and pulls the trigger. If the gun doesn't fire, the child earns points.

Maeve. I think that might be true. The Japanese gun? That is true. Oh, wow. Yes, yeah. Kaba means hippo in Japanese, and when the gun shoots,

a pair of hippo's legs come out from the barrel and kick the child in the head. So, yeah, sounds like a great toy. Play-Doh was originally sold as a wallpaper cleaner, and Crazy Putty started life as Sensible Putty. David. David already says with full confidence that Play-Doh was a wallpaper cleaner.

And you are right to do so. What? Yes. It was created in 1933 as a wallpaper cleaner by Cutol Products, a family-owned Cincinnati soap company. When vinyl wallpaper was introduced after the war, which is easier to clean, sales of the product fell until a relative of the owners discovered that the product could be used as a modelling clay for kids.

And that's the end of Reginald's lecture. And at the end of that round, Reg, you've managed to smuggle one truth past the rest of the panel, which is that for Valentine's Day 2005, the Vermont Teddy Bear Company brought out a crazy-for-you bear tightly bound in a white straight jacket that came with its own commitment papers. Despite what the company described as unusually good sales,

they discontinued the bear after mounting criticism from mental health campaigners who branded the bear insensitive. And that means you've scored one point. APPLAUSE who branded the bear insensitive. And that means you've scored one point. Next up is David O'Doherty. Your subject, David, is electricity, a type of energy fuelled by the transfer of electrons from positive and negative points within a conductor.

Off you go, David. Legendary blues man Lightnin' Hopkins could only write songs after he'd been struck by lightning. So he'd spend entire days standing on the roof of his local Tesco wearing a suit of armour

with a car aerial or just talking on the telephone, the leading cause of lightning injuries inside the home. The poet Shelley once tied a kite

to a cat's tail during a thunderstorm in the hope that it would be electrocuted. Maeve. I think that is a true thing. That Shelley would tie a kite to a cat's tail.

Because he was always up to mischief. Tell us about your top five Shelley mischievous things. He would always knock on hotel doors and run away. Bloody Shelley's in there. You'd be like, where's Tesco? He'd be like, over there, but it would be the other way.

Well, you're absolutely right. That is a classic Shelley antic. Isn't it? Yes, he sent up a local tomcat on a kite to see what lightning would do to a living body. The plan backfired for Shelley, literally, when the cat absorbed the voltage of the lightning bolt and later, while carrying out a revenge pee, tasered Shelley.

They will do this. A double bolt of lightning is known as a Jedward, after meteorologist Sir Basil Jedward, regarded as the most annoying scientist of the Victorian age. So annoying that his contemporaries encouraged him to go outside during violent thunderstorms dressed entirely in tinfoil to practice his golf. The sport

during which 12% of lightning fatalities take place. Maeve. I think that's true. About 12% of sports fatalities during lightning. 12% of all fatalities. All fatalities. Yeah. Because you should go into water when there's lightning.

No, I think you don't. I think don't. No? No, I think that's the... Don't do that. Unless you go under the water. Go under a tree. Don't.

No, don't do that. I think you're supposed to just put up... What are you saying? Put up a metal washing line or something. That's what they say. But you're right about the 12% thing. That golf is the sport during which 12% of lightning fatalities take place. As well as being painful, lightning is notoriously sexist.

Although 82% of people killed by lightning are men, strikes on women tend to be accompanied by a sleazy wolf whistle and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I do believe that more men get struck by lightning than women. You are right. 82% of people killed by lightning are men. All survivors of lightning strikes invariably experience bizarre and unexpected after effects. A postman who was Reg. Yeah, I believe a truck driver had his sight restored. You believe there was a blind truck driver? Yeah. Yeah.

There was a period when he was driving this route where he was not blind. That's absolutely true. The truck driver who was blind in an accident had his sight restored nine years later by being struck by lightning. The truck driver was Edwin E. Robinson from New England, and the lightning struck his hearing aids as he was searching for his pet chicken in a storm. As well as restoring his 20-20 vision, the lightning strike also restored his hearing

and caused him to start growing hair on his head again. Among animals, after effects can be even stranger. A cow that is struck by lightning during summer will deliver a pail full of totally tropical soft drink, lilt. But if the strike takes place in winter,

she will lactate ten feet of Christmas tree tinsel. Thank you. Thank you, David. And at the end of that round, David, you've managed to smuggle one truth past the rest of the panel, which is that talking on the telephone is the leading cause of lightning injuries inside the home.

During a lightning storm, it's advisable to avoid contact with anything that conducts electricity, including landline telephones. And that means, David, you've scored one point. It's said that if you stroke a cat 70 million times, you'll develop enough static electricity to keep a light bulb glowing for one minute. That's according to George Osborne's latest austerity leaflet for pensions.

Which brings us to the final scores. In joint third place, with no points each, we have Ellis James and Reginald D. Hunter. In second place, with two points, it's David O'Doherty. My high-ranked strategy. And in first place, with an unassailable three points,

it's this week's winner, Maeve Higgins. That's about it for this week. Goodbye. The Unbelievable Truth was devised by John Nesmith and Graham Gardner, and featured David Mitchell in the chair, with panellists Maeve Higgins, Ellis James, David O'Doherty, and Reginald D. Hunter. The chairman Thank you.