The Unmade Podcast - 154: Nose Hair and Nobel Prizes

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Tim and Brady discuss hair removal, parish notices (including confession), attending the Nobel Prize in Stockholm, and the painful issue of boils.More chat in the Request Room - https://www.patreon.com/posts/118316824Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFMJoin the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/USEFUL LINKSNose hair removal kit on Amazon - https://amzn.to/41K7MoqHuntsman Spiders - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spiderThe Cattleman’s Daughter (book) - https://amzn.to/49L8fZoConfession Booth Periodic Table photo - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-154-picturesBrady dressed up for the Nobel Prize - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-154-picturesSee Brady in the audience at the ceremony and banquet - https://www.unmade.fm/episode-154-picturesBrady’s Nobel Prize videos (chemistry) - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9eEsN9D48mddEnxhyfM44MCw4F3PohOIBrady’s Nobel Prize videos (physics) - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcUY9vudNKBNRA7qR5KbgdY1c5IWIJcqfThe 2024 Nobel Prize ceremony video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-A4dUowT4QThe 2024 Nobel Prize laureates - https://www.nobelprize.org/all-nobel-prizes-2024/Boils - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/boils-and-carbuncles/symptoms-causes/syc-20353770Catch the bonus Request Room episode - https://www.patreon.com/posts/118316824Information about getting the Request Room into your podcast feed (for patrons) - https://bit.ly/3uQWhNz

You're the most clean shaven I've seen you in a while. You've been sporting more of a beard lately, but you're not quite clean shaven, but you're almost back to. I don't know how often you trim your beard, but I do it every about a fortnight. And I did it once really close when I had COVID, you know, last time. So it was just like easier around the home. I wasn't going to go out anywhere. But then I was shaving my beard again a couple of days ago. And I was just doing it the nice setting, which is four, and on my little razor setter thing. And then the end dropped off into the sink, which happened semi-regularly. And I clicked it back on and proceeded to continue.

But somehow it had dropped down in the dropping down to one. So suddenly, it was like I'd run a lawnmower across you know a bad badly overgrown backyard and so I then had to do I had to commit to the the whole face. Yeah do everything. All right so you accidentally went close to the skin in the part of your face and then you had to do it everywhere. Yeah otherwise it looked like I looked a bit like a cricket pitch like a cricket oval with a cricket pitch up the middle of my cheek which had some novelty value but wasn't gonna be something I got away with. When did you last go full clean shaven do you ever go full clean.

It's been a few years now I don't think I've done that for a long time I haven't I haven't done a proper shave with a razor. done that for a long time. I haven't, I haven't done a proper shave with a razor, maybe for, for two years at least, maybe three years. Do you use a razor for like above the beard and your neck and stuff? Like use the razor at all? Not a razor. I just go, I just use the, the, the, the beard clipper without the cap on it. So just, I use that sort of, you know, bare and naked and I do up the top and stuff. And yeah. And it's got a lovely little setting for the for the ears and for the nose stuff like that. Men of a certain age.

The shoulders down the back. Shoulders. No. Have you ever tried nose waxing? No, not not for hair. I've done one of those ones that you, you know, are wet and you, and it gets like the sweat bits out. Oh yeah, for your pores.

No, this is where you put wax inside your nose and it dries and you pull it out and it pulls all the hair with it. Oh blimey. I've never heard of that. Crikey. Game changer. Game changer. Are you a regular?

Do you do it often? Not regularly, but like it's very satisfying. What part of it is satisfying? Afterwards. Right. Do you know what's satisfying? I'm not, I can't even put this in the podcast. What's satisfying is when you pull it out and you look at the hard wax and you see

all the hair attached to it and you're like, wow, that's a lot of hair I got out. Like a little wig. It's very satisfying. How do you, is that a thing you buy or do you just do it yourself? Yeah, you buy them, just buy them on Amazon. But dude, nose waxing kit on Amazon. Okay. Seriously, you think you, when my mate told me about it, I was like, I wouldn't do that in a million years.

And then I tried it and it was brilliant. I sometimes just sit in bed thinking how satisfying it would be to go and do it. Oh, wow. Wow. Is it like pulling a teeth like you actually, you know, attach a piece of string to the door and shut the door and. Yeah, you've got to do a big yank and that's hard. And I sometimes worry my whole nose will come off my face with it. Like a Mr. Potato Head.

I'm just saying, like, it's not a pleasant thought, but it's very effective. I am intrigued. I am intrigued. My mate goes and gets it done at the barber by like a, by like a therapist type person. Like a beautician. You can't, you wouldn't say beautician. You can't call them a beautician if you're a man. A handsomeness technician.

A ruggedologist. Have you waxed anywhere else? If you're a man a handsomeness technician. Rugged ologist. Have you waxed anywhere else have you waxed your legs at all. No that looks like torture. Yeah I've got I haven't got a high pain threshold. Have you ever thought about doing the rest of your face like instead of having to shave you could just do your cheeks wax that off. No I haven't thought about that I haven't. Oh wow. Let's move on.

Let's move on. I promise to investigate further. I'm recommending it. I'm officially recommending it. All right. All right. Parish notices following up from Tim's incident with a spider when he was riding on his motorized scooter and then a huntsman spider started crawling up his arm and we all know what happened next. And I gave Tim bit of a hard time. I questioned his Australian-ness in dealing with the spider.

Many people have rushed to Tim's defense and have quite rightly pointed out that huntsmen are seriously scary looking spiders. I mean, they have like definition. They have muscles in their legs, it seems like to me. Like they are a big scary spider. A quaver past eight said, I'm a hundred percent with Tim. Huntsmen are scary. There is no need to feel shame.

It was bad enough when I've had them crawling on my inside windscreen or corner of my car. Oh yeah. But I would absolutely freak if one crawled up my arm. I'm always a bundle of nerves after encountering one. Plus I know that feeling of being hyper alert for every brush on your skin for a while. Hmm. The Australian Geographic rates them as the ninth most dangerous spider. Not because they have dangerous venom, but because of the amount of traffic

accidents caused by them when they randomly appear. I'm sure this would not be the first Huntsman spider story that the insurance person had heard. Oh, right. OK. So there you go, Tim. That's a lot of vindication there. There. Yeah, that is I'm feeling a lot better about my not just my Australian, it's my

manhood, notwithstanding the nose waxing conversation that we've just had. I tell you what, huntsmen could use a bit of waxing. They're a hairy spider. I imagine that the wax that I pull out of my nose is going to look very similar to the back of a huntsman spider. They're small, very- This is going well wrong this episode. You wait till you get to my idea later on. It's more very. This is going well wrong this episode. You wait till you get to my idea later on. It's very wrong.

Alright. Amelia got in touch and said, The spider story on the most recent episode of the podcast reminded me of a minor event in my life where I got ridiculously scared of what for a split second I assumed to be a spider. I am currently learning Japanese and this happened a few days ago when I was about to practice kanji which is the Japanese script that has its origin in Chinese. I opened my writing book and immediately jumped back in horror as I saw a spider nestled within the pages of my book. It took me a few seconds to think twice about what I saw. a second look. I realised

that I'd not seen a spider, but rather the Komi, which is the kanji for the word rice. Due to its appearance, I assumed immediately that it was a spider. So basically that is the story of how I was startled by the word for rice. And I'm looking at this and it does look just like a little spider or a big asterix. Oh right I can imagine. Yeah that's classic. I've heard it said in a documentary about King Charles that he's forever writing memos in longhand and sending them off to government ministers and the Prime Minister about what

he thinks about this and what he thinks about that. You know we should raise more money for homelessness in this server or something like that and his those memos are notoriously referred to as um as they're like spider memos because he uses a big thick black fountain fountain pen and writes out a note and sends it off on a you know piece of paper so they're known as spider memos because they just look like spiders you know um because of his penmanship, which is a similar thing to what's happened there to Emily. Tim also talked last episode about the ripped up pages of a book that he found in the street.

It was the basis of his podcast idea last episode, you may remember. And we looked at some of the fragments of text and we're trying to figure out what the book might be. Many, many of you have been in touch and all agree on what you think the book was. It's a book called The Cattleman's Daughter by Rachel Treasure. Alright. 4.15 out of 5 on Goodreads. Let me look it up. Can I read to you what the book is about Tim? You can, you can, I'm just looking it up. Born on the rugged

Dargo High Plains and raised by her cattleman father, Emily Flanagan has lost her way in life. Locked in an unhappy marriage in the suburbs, Emily misses the high country with a fierce ache. To make matters worse, her heritage is under threat. A government bill to evict the mountain cattleman is about to be passed, and the Flanagan's could be banned from the mountains their family has looked after for generations. When a terrible accident brings Emily to the brink of death, she realises she must return to the High Country to seek a way forward in life, healing herself, her daughters and

her land. Along the way she finds herself falling in love with a man who works for the government, the traditional opposition of the Cattlemen, New Parks Ranger Luke Bradshaw. But just as she sees that the land and Luke are the keys to regaining her life, Emily faces losing them both in the greatest challenge of all. Set in the beautiful snowgum country of the Victorian Alps, the Cattleman's Daughter is a haunting and unforgettable tale of love, self-discovery and forgiveness from one of Australia's best loved authors.

Well there you go. Well firstly I love that it's set in the Victorian High Country which is sort of part of broader Gippsland where I grew up which is pretty cool. Not that we grew up I was in La Trobe Valley so quite literally not in the high plains but down in the valley. You were a man of the lowlands. I was I was so yeah but this is and I love that the book has a couple of horses on the cover too. I think I'm going to buy this for for for Christmas. I think she would love this.

I'll give you another bonus. The author, this Rachel Treasure, lives in Tasmania where your wife's from. Oh right, there you go. Oh wow, that's fantastic. That doesn't get us any closer to solving the puzzle about how the fragments came to be on the sidewalk. Who knows, that's another mystery. Maybe someone was just so upset by what was happening in the book. Like it was like maybe the maybe the reader was so outraged that this government guy was threatening to close down their farm that they couldn't bear it anymore and just had to rip the book apart and throw it away.

Maybe maybe. Yeah. Yeah. It aroused such passion. It does sound a bit like a Hallmark movie, doesn't it? Where like, you know, the the city girl goes back to the country and meets some guy in a flannel shirt and realises that she belongs in the countryside after all. It does sound a bit formulaic. I mean, it is look, it's published by Penguin.

So it's obviously a book that they think is going to sell of some repute. But you thought it was a children's novel or a teen fiction book from the fragments you read at the time. So I did. I thought it sounded pretty simple and easy to read. But perhaps I was being a bit judgmental or indeed maybe it is. Maybe some of these books are sort of designed more as young adult. I can't see it referred to as young adult fiction. Maybe you were reading a flashback scene when she was remembering her teen years or childhood

or something. Maybe. The fragments all came from a flashback. So it appeared like she's really young and naive, but actually it's a very dense and sophisticated novel in the rest of the novel. But I just happened to get the misleading fragment. Wow. There's a lot of 16th century theology in there but you miss those pages. How ironic that I got the only non-16th century theology pages in the whole novel.

There you go, the cattleman's daughter Rachel Treasure. Well I'm going to buy it. I'm going to buy it from Mum who I think will really like it. I'm gonna buy it for mum who I think will really like it. I may read it myself, we'll see, but certainly with two horses on the cover it's definitely for mum. Maybe we should both read it and do an unmade podcast book club. Oh right, well okay that's not a bad idea. I wonder if Rachel Treasure is in Tasmania. You know what, we might, this isn't a million miles away from where we'll be going on a holiday at some stage.

So I wonder if, in fact, we sometimes holiday not very far away from here at all. So yeah, I would love to go and read the novel and then be able to go and visit. Have you still got the ripped up fragments? I do. Yeah, they're right here on the desk in on my. Maybe you could take them to Tasmania and see if she'll sign them for you. How do you think she'd feel if we turned up and said, look, we found a ripped up copy of your book. We don't know why it was ripped up. We promised we didn't rip it ourselves, but.

Hmm. Would you, would you be willing to sign them? What would you think if she then said, look, I'd be willing to do that, but I want to hear the podcast first. So you send her the link and she hears five or six minutes of you and I talking about waxing our noses. Perhaps we'll send to the last episode rather than this one. And what if another novel comes out called The Cattleman's Podcaster and it's all about two idiots who are talking about waxing their noses online. Oh dear. Also I heard from Michael Gossett who has the ultimate crossover story for you and I.

Hi Brady and Tim, I'm a Catholic priest who ministers at a high school. We recently had a confession service for the students with a number of priests stationed in the classrooms. Since we didn't have enough real screens to enable students to go to confession anonymously, I got the periodic table. I thought you would enjoy this intersection of science and religion. Thanks for the show. Michael from Ohio.

And he attaches a picture of him in his priestly outfit. And he's like hiding behind a periodic table, waiting for students to come in and stand on the other side of the periodic table and, uh, and fess up. So that is brilliant. That's the, that's the ultimate Tim Brady crossover there. Absolutely. Yeah. Look at that. That is great. Picture in the show notes. Do you reckon Catholic priests, you know how they have those little confessional booths and then someone's in the other side. Do you reckon on their side they leave, you know, like they put little cartoons up and with Blu Tack inside for the

next priest to sort of read and gag and you know what I mean like little notes and so forth or maybe they have novels in there something to read while they're waiting Gameboy Gameboy Nintendo Switch one of these maybe they've got like a Fortnite while you're a yes yes yes continue my son you obviously don't take confessions do you in your your denomination. Would you like to. I can see the value in confession the way the Catholics do it it's it's extremely strict and and there is a particular virtue in going to the priest who can solely you know provide absolution and I just don't believe that way I believe you confess to God and to your friends and to people that you trust.

That has a great value. More directly, it's not facilitated through a priest. But certainly, people confess. Yeah, friends, people come and just say, you know, I just need to, confession is just telling the truth. So telling the truth, getting something off your chest, it can be very, really powerful. And it's very privileged to be with someone when they come to terms with that and how they respond to it as a as a regular part of the job. I'm not sure hmm I think my wife would be good at it should be a good confessor I feel like I spent my life confessing to her.

I feel like I spent my life confessing to her. Usually about little sneaky KFC visits. That's right. Providing absolution. Most of the time. So man, I saw you sent me a photo and I think you also put it on social media of you in a tuxedo Very impressive looking very sophisticated Tie it white tie and tails no less Wow not just a tux and the photo was taken just just as you happen to be Walking past a building that happened to be hosting the Nobel Prize

Ceremony and what a coincidence. Where did you go for dinner that night? I'm kidding. So you've obviously gone to this. Now this is, is this the awarding of the Nobel of the Nobel Prizes or is this like a dinner as well though? Yeah. I went to the the Nobel Prize ceremony and the banquet that comes afterwards. Wow. I think this is like the Oscars of science. This is like going to the Oscars. Now there are different Nobel prizes, aren't they? Like there's the Nobel, like the Peace Prize. Was that given out there or is this only the sciencey stuff? So the one I went to was all of the Nobel Prizes, except the Peace Prize, because the Nobel Peace Prize is actually done in Oslo and it's decided by a different organisation, it's kind of cleaved off from the other prizes.

So the only prize I didn't see awarded was the peace prize. So the ones that were being presented to what I went to were chemistry, physics, literature, physiology and medicine and economics. Not PE. Not PE, not business maths. Business maths, drama, everything I did, never recognised. It's only your subjects. No, none of those ones.

I'm not making a video or anything about it for reasons I'm about to explain. So I thought I would take the opportunity to talk a bit about the experience and my observations and what I saw and what I thought about it here on the Unmade Podcast, if you don't mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I really want to hear about this, but just to remind me and for some people, like, so who was Nobel? Why are these given? They're, they're. Okay. Yeah yeah that's a good story actually um so Alfred Nobel was like an inventor and a businessman from Sweden right and his most famous invention was dynamite so something that happened was there was some there was an incorrect report that he had died and he saw some media

reporting about his death. And I think it was something along the lines of like the merchant of death has died, the man who's responsible for all these deaths is now dead himself. Right. And when Nobel saw this, he thought, Oh my goodness, like he realised that was going to be his legacy. He was going to be remembered as quite a negative person in history. Yep.

And he was like, I can't have that. So he, uh, he wrote a will up and, uh, bequeathed his fortune to create these prizes, uh, in his memory. So the Nobel prizes are created in the memory of Alfred Nobel. Uh, and he asked the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences to decide the prizes each year. So that's what they do. So that's where the Nobel prizes came from. And they've become like the kind of the most famous prizes, haven't they?

In these fields. There are now prizes worth more money and things like that. You get about, it's about a million dollars or something for winning a Nobel Prize so that's often a split between you and your fellow winners right but now there are various rules to do with the Nobel Prize that are quite they've become quite antiquated rules now a lot of people question them what do you mean what sort of rules like like you can only win it if you're a man and you're tall and well for example well one rule that's probably an okay rule is you can't award it to someone who's dead. So if you, if you do something great and you die, you won't be a Nobel Prize winner.

Okay. You have to be alive. So they're not awarded post-hominously. Yep. They are not. Also, the most that a single prize can go to is three people. And a lot of science these days is done by lots and lots of people, but the price has to go to at the most three people be divided between them. So that's becoming a difficult thing as well when you get something like the Large Hadron

Collider and the thousands of people have worked on these projects. Who do you give the physics prize to? Well, I don't reckon there's been a scientific paper published in a journal ever that had less than three authors in the last 20 years so like how they get avoid let alone something that's been genuinely. You know innovative enough to win the Nobel Prize so. Not only do I agree with you I'm impressed by your knowledge of scientific journals. Well if it's like any other academic journals you know what I mean but particularly the stem subjects are notorious for having you know 25 people you know whoever turned on the Bunsen burner got their name in the journal as well. So last year actually I got invited to go to the Nobel Prize by the committee,

the Nobel committee in chemistry, the committee that decides who wins the chemistry prize. Because for many, many years now I've made YouTube videos about the Nobel Prize winners in both chemistry on my periodic videos YouTube channel and in physics on my 60 symbols channel. When they announced the prize we've always really quickly as we could sometimes on the same day have convened at the University of Nottingham and made videos really quickly explaining what it's all about and they've become real little events in our calendar

on the on the YouTube channels and the Nobel Committee had noticed that has known about them. I even heard a story once that apparently someone on the committee once showed one of my videos to the King of Sweden to help explain what one of the prizes is for. So all right. That's something I've heard. I don't know if it's true, but that is cool. Can I ask at that point?

Like do you is it when you're about to make a video about the winner is it because you know that there are three or four people who are nominated or is it like out of the blue. Totally out of the blue. It's really really secretive who wins the Nobel Prize. Even the winners don't know until half an hour before it's announced. So it's announced like a few months before the awarding obviously. So they announced them.

I can't remember what month is October or something like that. And then they always have the prize ceremony on in December. I think they have it on the anniversary of Nobel's death from memory. So there's no losers at this event you're going to. There's no like, it's an honor just to be nominated. You never knew that you were close and in the running only the winners are invited. No, there's no losers in the audience pretending to be happy. Um, so I was invited last year. I couldn't go. So I thought, Oh, that's a shame.

That's my chance gone, but they invited me again this year and I could go and wanted to go. There's no real reason for me to be there. Uh, but it was a real, it's something I've always been curious about and wanted to see. And it's a bit of a, just, you know, bit of a perk, isn't it? So I, so I said yes, but I couldn't take photos or make video. That was made very clear. That's like one of the rules because there's all, you know, it's a big media event. It's televised in Sweden, like it's a big media event and that.

So like, it's a, it's a really big deal. I'll come to that. So, so I was kind of like, uh, I've got no real reason to go, but, but I want to go. So, uh, I said, yes, I had to, I actually had to sign a document that if I was like, I've got no real reason to go, but I want to go. So I said yes. I actually had to sign a document that if I was caught filming or taking photos at the event, I would have to pay a huge fine, like 30,000 Swedish kronor. They were pretty serious about making sure I didn't video and film. I'll come to that again in a minute as well. So I signed the form, I agreed to go and it was all, I was all good.

But then I realized you had to dress in like tails and white tie, which is like the most formal you can dress. I do own a tux now, like for going to black tie events, but that was no good to me because a, it hasn't got tails and it's black tie. And this was white tie and you got to wear these white waistcoats as well. And so I went and hired all that gear and that cost a fortune. And I left it a bit late, but I managed to just get it in time. It was quite funny. Actually, I was the guy who was like fitting me for the suit said, you know, what event

is this for? Is this for a wedding? And I said, no, no, it's actually for an event. I've actually got to take it to Sweden. I'm actually going to the Nobel prize. And this look, he just looked at me really impressively and said, Oh, congratulations. And I had to say, Oh no, I haven't won a Nobel Prize. I'm just going to watch.

This became bit of a theme I found amongst my friends that don't know much about the Nobel Prize. They've seen pictures of me in the tux and wearing this little medal because I'm wearing my Order of Australia. And they will think I've won the Nobel prize and they're all congratulating me on winning the, it's kind of like, I haven't won the Nobel prize. I will never win the Nobel prize. I was thinking actually, I think I'm more likely to win an Oscar than a Nobel prize. Right. And I'm not going to win an Oscar either.

So now this is using my memory. You're too old to win the Fields medal now. Is that right? Yes, I am. You've got to be under 40 to win the Fields Medal which is a mathematics prize. Loser there too. That one's got by me as well. I'm also too stupid to win the Nobel Prize for Fields Medal but that's a whole other

issue. But that's not written down somewhere the age is so. No that's right. So I got my suit and went over to Sweden, Stockholm, capital of Sweden. I took Kylie and Edward, my wife and son came, came along for a holiday as well. We thought we'd make a little few day holiday of it. And we're staying like in an Airbnb. And then the moment arrived, like the, the, it was time when you're in Stockholm,

by the way, in Nobel prize week, it's like a really big deal. Like, uh, there's like a Nobel light show, there's light shows everywhere and Nobel Prize stuff's projected onto buildings and. It is a bit like award season in Hollywood then you know everyone's talking about the Oscars. Yeah yeah and like and the city gets really into it like we'd be in like a taxi and you'd hear like a popular radio show, it was in Swedish so I couldn't tell exactly what they were saying but they were clearly talking about the Nobel Prize and you'd hear like a popular radio show. It was in Swedish, so I couldn't tell exactly what they were saying, but they were clearly talking about the Nobel Prize and you heard them talking about DNA and micro DNA and who's

won the prizes. And so it's a big, like the city gets really into it. Like they're really proud of it. I think so it becomes the city's really taken over by, by the prize for this, this week of the ceremony. So then I had to put on my outfit, which was like really difficult because it doesn't have buttons. Like it has these little studs you use instead of buttons to put through the button holes and I couldn't get the sleeves to work. And it was really, I found it really difficult to put on my outfit.

Goodness knows how James Bond slips in and out of it, you know, so easily. Yeah, I can't know what's going on there. But then just about an hour before I was going to go, my wife got really sick and started like, like really sick and I started throwing up and she was, she, she wasn't coming. Uh, I only had one invite, but she was obviously staying home with our boy. And I'm like, Oh, I can't leave you home. If you're sick looking after him, I'll have to not go like, you know, I can't go. This is like terrible, but you know, that's the way way things go but she was like insistent that I go she was like she took a bullet for the teams like no no no you've got to go you've got to go that's why we're here and it's your one opportunity and so shout out to her for.

Soldering on at home while I went off and gallivanted like James Bond a science James Bond. She should win the Nobel Prize for parenting man. Yes. For wiping actually. She should. So I went I went along to the ceremony where they like give out the medals. Hmm. Is held at the concert hall the Stockholm concert hall.

Oh right. Okay. Yep. That's a building I saw in the photo that looked very nice. Yes. yes yes that's the one i'm standing outside in the photo and i'll include that in the notes and you go through like there's like a big queue of people all dressed up and you go through like security you know like to check you are who you are and id and all that and they check people's bags to make sure they're not doing anything dodgy there were all these young people the first though were all these young people,

the first, I saw these young women, like quite young, but in like gowns, like in, you know, impressive gowns all dressed up, but they were all wearing like sailor hats. And it reminded me of like a, like a, like a hen party or a stag, do you know how sometimes when a big group of girls do a hen party, they'll wear sailor hats and they they'll get into the same costume. And yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I go, why are these, why are all these young people wearing sailor hats? Are they like, are they not taking this seriously?

Is this some kind of joke to them or something? Like what's going on? So eventually I asked one of the people that there were also men wearing them. And I said, why are you all wearing these sailor hats? And it turns out they were all university students and the Nobel Prize people invite a bunch of university students to attend every year as like a like a like a bonus or a little perk or to expose young people to science they have like a lottery across all the Swedish universities to win a chance to go to the Nobel Prize and when you're a university student in

Sweden apparently these hats are kind of like the traditional hats of university students, like mortar boards or, you know, like traditional gowns or something. This is like their thing. These, these funny looking hats. So you wear them to like represent your university and represent that you're a university student. So there was, there was a smattering of people in the audience wearing these funny sailor hats, but apparently that's a thing in Sweden. The other thing I learned was I just went in my suit, but Sweden is obviously a cold place especially in December and I didn't wear a coat because I thought I wouldn't be outside much. And that was all right, I got away with it. But most Swedish people did wear coats.

And one thing that really impressed me when you got in the hole was the scale of the coat check operation because you've got like a thousand people I don't know how many people were there probably more than a thousand all of them with huge coats all of them needing to check their coats and the coat check operation at the Nobel Prize and presumably all these things in Sweden was epic it was massive there were multiple places to do it huge cavernous areas where they were putting all the coats. It's more like a like a like a coat valet, really. It's like here are the here is my coat and the keys to my coat and we'll bring it around later on.

So when you come to it was it was it was a huge operation before and after the ceremonies, like people checking in and checking out their coats. It's a big it's a big thing, which I never really thought about in such a cold country. But everyone in Sweden should just simply have the same coat. And then you just sort of leave with a coat. You know what I mean? Like, well, here's yours, sir. Like 10 pin bowling shoes. That's right. That's right.

I'll take what you give me. Just take size four. Oh, here they are. Off you go. All right. They should do that, that's a good idea. Anyway, there was a little bit of mingling first in a big, like you know, it was like going to a theatre show, there was a bit of mingling and you could buy a champagne and stuff beforehand, everyone's dressed to the nines of course, and then we went, we filed off and went into the concert hall for the ceremony itself, the awarding of the prizes. I would say I had a seat and location befitting my standing. You were with the coats, were you, man?

I actually was really happy with my seat. It was funny, I was up high on a balcony. I was right up against the ledge though, so I was as close as you could get to the edge of the balcony, but I was like right around to the side and almost sort of behind the stage, like I was kind of partway level with the stage. But it meant that I was really close to the action, but I had kind of a side on almost behind view of it. Let me refer to your seat as being what I picture is the the Abraham Lincoln seat the night he was shot. Is it sort of like that?

Yes, you could have jumped down onto the stage and hurt yourself like John Wilkes Booth. Yeah, it was Abraham Lincoln-esque. I'll take that. Yeah, so and like I was right near the band because the band was behind the stage, but also up high. They were up on a balcony. So I was kind of almost at the level of the band and there was like a like a proper orchestra and opera singer and all sort of stuff. It was lots of there was lots of pomp and ceremony. Who was the band? Was it was it ABBA or Ace of Base?

Which Swedish band did they play? Rockset. Rockset, awesome. I would have been up for Rockset. Ace of Bass, which Swedish band do they play? Roxette. Roxette, awesome. I would have been up for Roxette. I know the lady died from Roxette, but I was actually just listening to a bit of Roxette a couple of days ago because I was in the mood. You know, Roxette, they're touring Australia next year. He's got another singer.

Someone new. So Per Gessel, the guitarist, singer guy with the dyed black hair, he's found another singer and they're going out again. There you go. Okay. Oh, I'd be well up for that. I love a bit of rock set. I did get a Swedish pop star that comes later, but anyway, this was like an orchestra and

an opera singer. And then like the King of Sweden comes out because he's the one who hands over the prizes and I was right, he was over my side of the stage so I was basically looking at the back of the King of Sweden's head the whole time. Was there an announcer who said, and now welcome your host, the King of Sweden. And they had applause. No, but there was a big like drum roll and music and I was sitting right near the drummer and I absolutely scared the bejesus out of me when the drum roll started for the King

of Sweden. And then you're stood up and he comes out. There's all, you know, anthems and bits of opera singing in between bits as fillers. And then for each of the prizes, there would be a short speech by like an expert or someone from the Swedish Academy would do like a, a talk about why they had won the prize. Right. And those talks were pretty good. They were mercifully short.

Right. They were a good length. They've learned, they've learned not to bore people. The whole ceremony only lasted an hour. Oh, right. And they got through five Nobel prizes and most of those prizes had been won by multiple people and the people just get their medal in a certificate and do a little bow.

They don't talk to all the winners. They just get their get their medal and sit back down. Is there a photographer up the front who sort of you know they stand there posing it and the guy runs up like at a graduation. Well there are photographers and it's all film crews and it felt like a it felt it was well done. It was really you know it was it was posh and it looked befitting of a big deal. It looked like a big deal. I would say it was a bit boring. It did remind me of being a little bit like at a church service.

Sorry, I get really bored in church services. It reminded me of that level of boredom and about that length, like about an hour of, so like an hour of talking and music that you kind of are trying to engage with, but you kind of your minds are wandering a bit. And now he is the King of Kings. Wow. Everybody stand for Jesus. So, and the, but it was like that too.

There was a bit of stand, there was lots of standing up and sitting down cause you stood up each time someone got their prize and. It's like a standing ovation. Cause the king stood up every time. It's like. Yeah, yeah. And when the king stands up because you stood up each time someone got their prize and. It's like a standing ovation. Every time it's like. Yeah, yeah. And when the king stands up, you stand up. So is it really just like like a school thing where it's like, all right, now we move on to maths and and he's so inside to explain what maths is.

And. Yeah, it was. It was like a school awards night, but but more expensive looking and everyone was more dressed up. But I said I wasn't allowed to use my phone and I was dying to use it, but I wasn't allowed to. So I didn't. You signed something saying you wouldn't. And you pay a lot of money. So I didn't. So I don't have to pay that fine.

But loads of people were. And I was like, well, they're all doing it. Not not as much as you would expect, not as much as like, uh, you would expect phones to be out at a posh event like that. So obviously the memo had gone out not to use it, but people were using that and filming little bits that were relevant to them. A South Korean woman won the, um, literature prize. Oh yes. I saw that on the news. Yeah.

Yeah. There were a few Korean journalists around me and they like got their camera out when she got her prize and stuff like that. So the rules were being flouted but not by me. I was basically just so paranoid about that fine. I was convinced they had like spy cameras on me or something or someone was with like binoculars over the other side waiting for Brady Haran to get his phone out so they could get their 30k. But you think if your son or grandsons won the Nobel Prize for maths and I'm in row four, I'm going to pull my phone out and take a photo, I don't care how much it's going to cost.

Yeah, I mean professional photos are taken that I'm sure you will get access to. So I don't think you should worry you're going to miss out on a picture of your son getting his Nobel Prize. But yeah, you'd think you'd do it anyway. So anyway, there we go. The prizes were given. Everyone had to stand up again for the King and the National Anthem and everyone filing off the stage. You've flown to Sweden, hired a tux with tails, gone along to the ceremony that only goes for one hour, has royalty and has people winning the Nobel Prize, five of them, and you've gotten bored.

I think that says something about you there. That says something about you there. I was, yeah, well anyway, it's kind of, you know, anyway, it is what it is. And I was very honored to be there. And it was really interesting. It was really interesting, but there was one guy, the first guy that got the physics prize, he was like quite an older guy and quite physically impaired. Like he had a stick and he couldn't walk very easily. And like he, when he sort of hobbled up and got his prize,

he was so happy. He was so proud. And the smile on his face and he stood there and he bowed a few times to the audience and bowed to the king and bowed to everyone. And you could tell he was just soaking it up. And like he was so happy that he'd been recognised for this work he'd probably done years and years ago.

That was quite special and you felt like the prize felt special to them. Then when everyone else got theirs, they were like, you know, scientists who were probably been decorated many times and won many awards and granted this was the biggest award they were ever going to get. So they were obviously pretty happy and pretty proud, but they were just normal. You know, they just got up there, shook the hand hand did a bow and sat down and it was just like you know there's another award for me and and this is a nice night but this first guy that won it you could tell it was this like crowning achievement and this was his moment that was definitely the moment. Maybe he hadn't been told until that moment like everyone else would have jumped around the lounge room you know five months beforehand

when their name was read out but by the time they've got there and then they're in front of people they're being a bit more dignified. But maybe this guy is his colleagues and friends and kept it from him going oh we've been invited along you know like Brady Haran to just go and watch it and then his name's read out it's like a massive practical joke but an amazing gift. Just to be clear all the people that are winning Nobel prizes are sitting up on the stage on seats ready to get their prizes. So they very much know who they are. He may have thought, oh, you've got, we've got really good seats. The other cool thing was though, because he couldn't walk very easily, they were all there in their like white tails and tuxes and everything and all wearing like black shoes like you

do when you wear a tux. But he couldn't wear those shoes obviously because it affected his walking and he was wearing like New Balance trainers. So he was up there in like full white tie outfit but with New Balance trainers. It was cool. It was really noticeable. That's really great. Maybe his friends told him that they'd bought the VIP package.

Like, you know when you go see Metallica, you can like pay like a ridiculous amount and you meet the band beforehand and get a special seat and have a beer. Yeah, photo with the king. They're like, yeah, yeah, okay. So you're going to, we've bought the VIP package. You get to put your coat in over here early. You get in there, we've got a seat on the stage and you get a Nobel prize. It's like take home. Really? Oh, wow.

Yeah. And you can wear your sneakers. That sounds like a pretty good night out for him. So anyway, the King leaves. Everyone gets up and shakes everyone's hand. There's a big handshaking fest on the stage. Right. And we can leave.

But then it's off to like the, I think it's the city hall or the town hall where the Nobel Prize banquet is being held. So we all like leave the venue and you get in like these chartered buses these coaches that so you sort of still stay inside the security cordon a bit. Oh right. And I think they'd close some roads and stuff and. So what time was the ceremony then it was quite early was it like five o'clock or something? Yeah, yeah It was quite early, was it? Like five o'clock or something? Yeah, yeah, I can't remember what time. It was like four o'clock or something. Oh, okay.

And then we get in these buses. And that felt kind of weird because you're all really dressed up and you get like you're being crammed into all these buses a bit like when you're getting bused around an airport, like out to your plane, like, you know, because a lot of people are standing up and you're all crowded in these buses.

So it felt like you were being bussed to a plane at an airport, except you're all like really, really dressed up. We go across town to the city hall. It was only 15 minutes or something like that. You get out, uh, you do security again. There were protesters at this venue, but we were kind of brought in the back. So we didn't really get very exposed to all the protesters. I think that there's, I don't know what they were protesting but it's a big huge events out to chance to protest so.

Right I'll protest exite they weren't protesting that you were there or that this guy had worn sneakers or. What's that what's that what's that guy got an invite for. So who did you sit next to on the bus that's always a good question. I stood on the bus I had I stood up on the bus. Right. Nice. Yeah. So I was I was in a I was quite uncomfortable actually.

Got to the city hall. You go in again. Security again. Going again. There are lots more TV cameras and lights here filming people walking in because obviously there are probably some famous Swedish people there and that's a big glamorous event and lots of royalty there and stuff. So I managed to walk in without being filmed or stopped as far as I could tell.

Right. Obviously didn't know who I was, you know. There wasn't like a red carpet moment when someone said, you know, are you excited to have been here and you know, no, no, what are you wearing? There you go. Tell us what's going to be in the next Unmade podcast. Who did your nose hair? Tell us what's going to be in the next Unmade podcast. Who did your nose hair?

So then there was another massive coat check operation. Now one thing about the dress code at this event was you're supposed to wear any honors you've won. Like that's part of a dress code. It's you know, white tie and honors. And of course I have my Order of the medal of Australia, which I've never taken out of the box before. Never had any reason to do anything with it.

It just sits in a box in a drawer in my office. And I was like, no, well, I'm not going to miss my one chance to wear it. So I was wearing my little gold medallion on my lapel, which is one of the reasons lots of people on Facebook and my friends all think I won the Nobel Prize because I see this picture of me standing outside the Nobel Prize venue with this little gold medal and they think that must be a Nobel Prize. But anyway, so I did feel a bit of a poser wearing it but so many people were wearing honours at this event that you kind of blended in it was alright. But I also found it quite useful because I'm

not very good at small talk and mingling but it does become like a talking point. So I was standing next to this guy and he had a bunch of medals on his suit and he but he was looking at mine and he didn't recognize it and he came up to me and said what's that what's that one for and I explained what it was and then I asked about his and he explained what his were and then I said to him I asked what his job was and it turns out he was a an MP in the Swedish parliament. Oh right. And so before the banquet we had a really nice conversation. It was really, it was really fun to talk to someone who's obviously a big deal in Sweden.

And he said, I've got to be careful of this and this because, you know, following the protocol, cause someone will take a picture of me or something like that. So it was obviously, it was a big deal, but I obviously know nothing about Swedish politics. picture of me or something like that. So it was obviously was a big deal. But I obviously know nothing about Swedish politics. So it's really funny to talk to someone who's obviously really important in the country. And I was saying to him, so are you in government or opposition? And like, you know. Oh, yeah, right. You didn't know the basics even. Yeah.

Asking all these really naive questions. He was really great in answering them. He probably quite enjoyed my naivety. The only thing I know about Scandinavian politics is Borgon, but that's like Denmark. Denmark, oh yeah, I know my Borgon. I could have talked to him about like murders and how murders are investigated in Sweden. Indeed, that's right, yes, on the bridge. So anyway, eventually we got released into this massive, massive, I guess it's a room. It felt more like a basketball stadium. It was so big.

This huge room, but very grand and beautiful where the banquet was being held. Loads and loads of tables. Big, massive, long table through the middle where the king and all the VIPs were going to sit. And that was huge. And then all these other tables going off at perpendicular to it, like wings, like loads and loads of tables. One of the things I was worried about at this event was I was going to feel massive imposter syndrome. I was worried I was going to be sitting at a table with friends or family of the winners or fellow researchers, part of the research team, because obviously these people get to

bring some of their researchers, and they would say to me, who are you? You know, who are you? Why are you here? And I'd explain my tenuous reason for being there and they would all look at me angrily because they would think of you know Jimmy the lab technician back in America who didn't get to come to the event but had done all this work. Oh right. So I thought I was worried I was going to feel like I shouldn't be there and I was taking the seat of someone who should be there.

And no one goes to one of these events thinking oh, I hope I get sat next to a podcaster. Exactly. It turns out I needn't have worried about that because where I was sat, granted, I was probably sat at a certain area of a certain table that was not the glamour area. I wasn't next to the king. Mm-hmm. But I found there were lots and lots of people there who were husbands or wives or sons or daughters or friends of people who were a member of the Swedish Academy, who were getting to bring their husband this time, and they were normally sitting over at some posh table,

but I was sitting over with the wives and husbands and I felt like I was sitting with lots of people whose reason for being there was at a similar level to my own. Right. So I didn't, I didn't end up feeling that. I think I was sat, you know, I was sat next to some husbands and wives, friends, you know, daughter of the architect that designed this building for the Nobel thing and that. So I felt, but I was, that was really interesting people still interesting scientists made some,

made some, had some really great conversations, made some nice contacts. There was lots of kind of toasts and things at the banquet and food, nice food. His Majesty the king. I would like you all to join me in a toast to honor the great donor, Alfred Nobel. There was like entertainment, there was like, there was this three or four part sort of interpretive dance music show that was done in segments between all the courses that was not my cup of tea you know me I'm not too into my arts and stuff so it's not something I was too into and I thought you know to quote the castle I thought they had their hand on it a bit but but they were short again that these people have learned not to.

So you didn't get bored thankfully. No I didn't get bored I didn't get bored and there. No, I didn't get bored. I didn't get bored. And there was some performer called Lale or Lale, who I was told is like, is a big star singer in Sweden. And she was like singing a few songs, including some newly composed music. So apparently that was a big deal when she was singing, you know, she was a good singer. She could hold a tune. Don't ask me what the show was about.

Hello to Lala, if you're listening. The banquet lasted four hours and I thought, oh gosh. But when I was talking to the MP beforehand, he told me, make sure you go to the toilet because you're not allowed to stand up because you're not allowed to stand up in a room when the King is sitting and the King's in the room. And I didn't need to go to the toilet, but I knew'd need to later so I thought oh this is gonna be a problem. Turns out people were getting up and going to the toilet I think I didn't need to go in the end anyway so. What if the King needs to go to the toilet then everyone goes massive rush.

That's what I said I said to him does the King I said doesn't the King need to get up and go to the toilet and he said said, I don't think so. He's pretty experienced at these things. He's got a royal bladder. Right. He goes beforehand. And yeah, yeah. That'd be funny if no one, no one's able to go until he goes, but then he stands up to go and then everyone rushes. So it turns out the there's a massive fight for the line. The king ends up halfway through. It's like, you stood up, you stood up. The thing was everyone at this center table, this really long table down the middle, they came in last after we were all seated and been waiting around for 20 minutes and they left before we could leave. But this hall was massive, right? And it had this huge balcony and staircase that was the length of the hall. balcony and staircase that was the length of the hall and when they said everyone stand up here comes the king and the VIPs we all stood up and the king walked along this huge

balcony that was the length of the hall and then it wrapped around and turned around the other wall of the hall and then came down this huge staircase and then had to walk the length of this huge table again and they all took their seats and most of them were old and slow and I reckon we must have been standing for 15 minutes waiting for them to come in and sit down. It was a bit to go to the toilet at the end of that, let alone the whole thing. It was a, there was a lot of standing. Anyway, we had our meals, we got entertained. They gave us booze.

Then for the first time, there are speeches by the winners, but only one winner from each category makes a speech. And some of these categories had three winners. So they obviously picked which one was going to make the speech and the speeches are supposed to be, I had read the speeches are supposed to be short, which they were. Excellent. And they were supposed to be like, I had read they were supposed to be lighthearted. Some of them were not lighthearted. The first one, the guy that won for physics, got up and did this real doom speech about how he,

because his prize was partly for artificial intelligence, and he gave a real doom speech about AI and how AI could destroy the world. And the person who won the economics prize also did a real doom speech about the fate of the world. So it start and they were the first and last speeches. So it started and ended with some real, real downer speeches, but they were short and they were good speeches. These are people are being awarded for their breakthrough and saying, but you just just be warned my breakthrough will will facilitate the end of the world.

Thank you very much. Good night. Kind of, kind of. It was kind of like, I mean, these aren't people that invented artificial intelligence. They just used it for good. But they were saying this stuff that I used to get the prize is going to be used for some pretty bad stuff. Anyway, the speeches were done. The entertainment was done. Right.

All was done. I was, I'd probably had my fill by then. There was like a big dance afterwards, you know, in another room in the building. I couldn't, I had to get home, didn't I? Like I had a, I had a wife and child at home. My wife was feeling better by this point, by the way, just so you know, I had been in touch the whole time to make sure everything was okay on the home front. I had to sneakily get my phone out under the table to check in from at home so I didn't

get fined. Alright, okay, yes. So that was a legitimate purpose. They did make a big deal about not using your phones at the banquet that you were like warned multiple times that they didn't want you to do that. So unless the king uses his first. So if he's like checking Facebook, then everyone gets their phones out. Yes. That was it then I left. That was it then I left, left. There are also apparently lots of after parties. A few people I spoke to had tickets to like the cool after parties that all the students go to and the winners and

it's all really cool. But I hadn't, I hadn't gotten a ticket to one of those anyway. I didn't know anyone cool enough. So I w I could have gone to the dance, but I couldn't, I didn't have a ticket for any of the cool after parties and I hadn't made a connection to get me one. So I, I went home, I couldn't wait to get out of that suit. I can't tell you how much I hate wearing stuff like that. Got home, ripped off my suit, got into bed, went to sleep. Nobel Prize done. Done and dusted.

Nice. Done. Well, that's a fascinating evening. You did get bored and you, but you managed to, you've sort of talked about it like it's an endurance event like it was fascinating but a bit of an endurance evening. Yeah I enjoyed the banquet because the people sitting around me were quite interesting. I got I think I got quite lucky I had a playwright next to me a chemist who does entertaining videos about

chemistry so we had a lot to bond over. A radio journalist opposite me from Swedish radio and another scientist. So I had a good bunch of people around me. I had run out of small talk ability though. You didn't meet any of the winners? No, you don't really get, I didn't get near them. I had met one of them a couple of weeks before. I'd been at a separate event at the Royal Society and one of the winners happened to be there. So, so I had, I had met him before and I said to him, I'm coming, I'm coming to your ceremony. Uh, and we'd spoken a bit about it. So I, I have met one of the winners, but I didn't at the event cause you couldn't

stand up so you couldn't go up to their table and talk to them. So I don't know how I could have, I don't know whether they went to the dance afterwards, but- And they each win about a million dollars, but that wasn't given like with a big novelty check on the night or anything like that. There was no big novelty check. You split the money too. So if you win it three ways, you split it, uh, how the, how the committee sees fit.

I once had a Nobel prize winner email me. Have you ever had an email from a Nobel prize winner? Uh, will it hurt your feelings if I say yes? Say no so that my story sounds cooler. No, no. Tell me. Tell me about it. Well. What was that like? Who was it? What was it for?

It was J.M. Coetzee, a novelist who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2003. Yeah. He has, he's South African, but he now lives in Adelaide and about 20 years ago or 15 years ago I had a book club and we were reading through all the winners of the Booker Prize of which he won the Booker and he and so we actually just I thought as one of those random nights where I thought I'm just going to email him and ask him if he wants to come along to our book club one night

and have a beer and a burger and chat about his books, which I almost, I'm sure he wasn't even going to reply, but I sent it off to his publisher anyway, and offering to pay for the burger and the beer, you know, and naming the pub in North Adelaide. And lo and behold, I got an email reply, a very polite one saying, you know, and naming the pub in North Adelaide. And lo and behold, I got an email reply, a very polite one saying, you know, thank you so much for your invitation, your kind invitation. And I will have to decline because I don't speak publicly about my books anymore. But yeah, you know, thank you again. And you know, have a lovely evening and all the rest of it.

You should have said you don't have to talk about the book, just come and have a burger. Just get, it's like just push him. Nah, can't, can't. Have her to buy you two burgers. Two burgers, come on, it'll be great, it'll be great. Just nag him. Yeah. So I feel a little bit like Adrian Mole where he just brags about the amount of rejection letters you get, but I've had a rejection email from a Nobel Prize winner. I feel pretty proud of that. Nice. Nice. Very nice.

He did start with Dear Tim, so, you know, clearly we're on a first name basis now. You've had a Nobel Prize in literature writer write something just for you. And he won for his body of work. So surely my email is incorporated in his Nobel Prize winning. So in one sense, I've contributed to his Nobel Prize winning. When I say we're on a first name basis, of course, I refer to him as J.M. Coatsy. I don't actually know what his first name is. I literally don't know what it is.

I think I wrote dear Mr. Coatsie. Thank you for sitting through my Nobel Prize recollections. I feel like I've gotten off my chest. Well, that's good. And it only took the same length as the ceremony. It took longer. I've got the same problem as before, though, cause I'm thinking, Oh, you know, I can send the podcast to the Nobel prize people and show them that, you know, some kind of work came from them letting me come. But we've got that nose hair issue again. Yes, indeed.

They're going to say, Oh, let's listen to what this guy did after he came and visited our prestigious event with the king. And they're going to clip it up. And if there's enough time I'm going to get to my idea as well which is not going to bathe you in more prestigious glory that's for sure this is not a put your tux on kind of idea. Alright then quickly podcast ideas here's my podcast idea 30 seconds. Wouldn't it be a good podcast to go through every Nobel Prize that's ever been won and talk about it from the start each category each winner what it was for. the start each category each winner what it was for any interesting stories about the people this isn't this is a podcast the Nobel Prize people should probably make they probably have easy idea there you go I've suggested an idea job done. I think it's a pretty good idea except that I feel like the people's interest would be attached to a particular genre not to the prize as a whole so I

very happily listen to all the literature people but I'm not at all interested in the others unless you can make it interesting for me like hey this is a great way to learn. I could do that. I could do that. I'm sure you could. I'm not sure they could though. So for example Albert Einstein won the Nobel prize in physics, of course.

And everyone thinks he won it for like. Relativity equals MC squared and all that stuff. But he won it for one of his other pieces of work called the photo electric effect. Okay. Let me, let me ask you, let me ask a science question that's related and maybe related to this. When, if you ask any, anyone to name a scientist, they obviously name Albert Einstein. Yeah. Who's number two?

Who's the second most famous scientist of all time? That's a really good question. It depends I would think for like people in the street You might get like Stephen Hawking. Oh, yeah a second. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I think I think number two Should be Isaac Newton. Oh yeah, okay. There's another one I've heard of. Yeah, nice. For me, number two is probably Isaac Newton, but I think lots of people would say, yeah, Stephen Hawking, cause he's a bit more zeitgeisty, bit more distinctive, a bit more recent. Yeah.

But he's certainly not as, he didn't win a Nobel prize, Stephen Hawking, by the way. Oh, right. Is there not one, is it because his work is, is it like astronomy in, and it's theoretical rather than... Yeah, I think maybe some of the problem for him is some of the stuff that he has theorized hasn't been proven or shown to definitely be true, which is part of getting a Nobel prize, for example, Peter H higgs who theorize the legendary higgs boson oh yeah long long long time ago. Then they later built the large hadron collider and then after the large hadron collider pain had been operating for quite a while they discovered the higgs boson which.

Confirmed his theory was correct and he finally got a nobel prize shortly before he died. finally got a Nobel Prize shortly before he died. So Stephen Hawking probably has run into that a little bit. Like a lot of the stuff that he's thought about and theorized hasn't been 100% confirmed and proven. Then, even greater honour, he was immortalized with the Higgs Boson blues song by Nick Cave. What greater irony is that? My goodness me. Nice. Who would you say the second most famous scientist is? Who would you have named? Oh look, now you say Isaac Newton. I go, yeah, I guess that's a historical figure that you can't get past. The only other really famous one apart from Stephen Hawking, you know, I guess there's Richard Dawkins, but Richard Dawkins feels like a guy who's famous for arguing against, you know, the existence of God more than any actual science.

Like I don't actually know any science that he's done. Yeah, his actual science science is not as, is not like, you know, absolute bleeding edge Nobel Prize stuff, but, but he's a good communicator and. Like he had that prestigious chair for the, know popularization of science which was kind of I think paid for by Microsoft and it's like yeah that's not. That's that's an emeritus kind of you know prestigious job it's not it's it's not like you're beavering away somewhere to improve people's lives so. What about the scientists from the Muppets that works with Beaker? Oh yeah, what's his name, the Swedish?

That's so funny. We watched a whole bunch of those on YouTube a few months ago. Such a legend. And he always makes Beaker and taste it or put on whatever it's expected. And now Beaker will be my subject and Beaker's eyebrows go up. All right. Let's hear your idea for a podcast, Tim.

Oh, look, it's not a million miles away from what we've been talking about. I do notice there's not a Nobel Prize for for biology like anatomy and that kind of thing. But there isn't there is medicine and physiology. Oh okay sure right. Well look my idea is more biological it's about the anatomy it's about medicine it's a pretty gross idea to be honest and I can't it's kind of a non idea idea. honest and I can't it's kind of a non idea idea but I think there is something that's in this if you were to broaden it out to a more interesting subject than me my idea is called 42 boils I through puberty had 42 boils and I didn't know anyone else in the school that I went to or schools that I went to through that period that Evan had one boil.

Lots of people had acne, but for some reason I had boils and I have scars on different parts of my body where those boils were. And this podcast would walk through each of them and I would describe the age I was the circumstance how many days off school the pain I went through whether I went to hospital or not. How whether it was whether it was treated by through scientific means through the doctor or a home spun means through my father based on what he was given in the 1930s by his Dutch parents. Because he had boils too, did he? He had boils, yeah, the same. And... Alright, so I've got some questions here. First of all...

Yeah. Well, first of all, I guess we should deal with the obvious one. What is a boil? A boil is kind of like a pimple, but it's about the size of a golf half a golf ball or half a tennis ball. So it's basically you know it's an infection it's something in your blood in my case it's a staph infection in a particular area as a sore and it's pretty gross because it's just basically full of pus. It says here a boil is a painful pus filled bump that forms under your skin when bacteria infect and inflame one or more of your hair follicles. A carbuncle is a cluster of boils that form a connected area of infection under the skin. Did you ever have a car bunk or not too close close by.

Is that a car bunk or does it have to be more than two. I've I've never heard car bunk was referred to by a doctor treating me or anything like that. No I had one on my lip that had several heads on it and that one was actually operated in hospital and that was pretty serious. Yeah, which is why I've got a slightly sort of fat lip on one side now. That's through the stretching of the skin from this multi-headed boil that was so big it blocked my nostrils. I couldn't breathe through my nostrils. How old were you then? I was 13.

I've never noticed your lip. Tell me, how do you know it was 42? How did you keep count of them? Because I kept count of them. As a kid, you count things. I'm like, this is my fifth one. This is my sixth one. How many am I going to get?

This is my seventh and eighth. And so I just kept counting up to 42. It's like burned in my mind. Hmm. How was some of the treatments done? Like, tell me about, tell me about some of the medical treatments, but also the homespun ones, give me a bit of a summary. Yeah, well, the way you're supposed to treat them is you, there's not much you can do, you could basically got to let them run their course, which runs about a

week and it, you've basically got to wait for them to pop and open up and for the pus to come out and then to hit and then there's a hole in your leg and then you got it's got to heal up and the way all you can do is help the process of it becoming right and then the top coming off like a paste called magna plasm and you put that on a gauze and you just take that over the top and you take that off every day you replace every day and then once it opens the passes coming out you do it multiple times a day and then you. You just bandage it up until it heals over and then finally it's just a bandaid that takes about a week to 10 days. Can you accelerate the process by piercing the boil and make that popping happen sooner or do you have to let it happen naturally? You can you can lance the boil and that helps to get it out earlier and that was one of the things that my dad decided would be helpful early in the process but that is extremely painful in itself and the reason it's so painful is because it's under the skin and the skin is stretching and it's hot. And so it's really you know when you have a pimple and then you squeeze the pimple it stings a little bit it's like that magnified out to being like a volcano in your leg and it's really really painful. Dad's remedy was to that yeah you got to get it out and so dad remembered when he was young they used to get what's called a Dutch rusk. Which is like a Dutch biscuit and the way you eat a Dutch rust generally is you put it in yogurt like you put it in a bowl of yogurt and you crunch it up but dad used to Dutch ruskk. It's good at soaking things up. It's like a hard sponge. They're very dry rusks.

Yeah, yeah, very dry. So you put that on the boil and then you put like a cabbage leaf over the top of it and you tie that on. And so dad said, this is what we're going to do. And that survived one boil. And then dad decided that we were going to, you know, lance it and squeeze it out. And I remember, look, I would have been about 10 or 11 when I had the first one. And I, I mean, I had a very strict father, Dutch father, as you know, but I remember swearing at him with a string of F bombs that, you know, ordinarily would have got me in an enormous amount of trouble. And I remember it was like a turning point in my life at that moment. The pain was so

significant because I remember dad squeezing the boil and the pus coming out and me swearing like this so profanely and dad just looking at me and nodding and saying, you know, I understand. Like he had no, I can't just remember thinking I'm in trouble now for saying this, but I just remember him just going fair enough. Fair enough. I understand. And so that was like permission to swear from then on that was really great.

What happened? How did it all stop? It just kind of wears out. You kind of, I don't know if you, you build up a, um, um, as you move out of puberty, you know what I mean? Your body just sort of changes and you build up a, I can't think of the word right now but you know you get past it like an anti-community or a resistance an immunity that's the word yeah yeah yeah so how did it affect your life now does it still affect you as you or is it just like a funny like having like I had pimples when I was a teenager but I'd never even think about it now or is this a this sounds like it might be a deeper

scar the scars are stronger like I've, you know, down my legs where I can still see the scars now. And, you know, I'm much older. But psychologically, is that a deeper scar as well? I think it gave me a higher pain threshold. Like it was just a consistent and I got to a point where I just dealt with them myself. Like it wasn't like mum and dad. I was just like, here we go. Here's a bloody boil.

And I would, I would take off the thing and I would pull and squeeze. It's not quite squeeze in your squeeze by pulling out. Right. And just, you know, and I would, I would, I became stronger and stronger at dealing with it and you know, a bit like that scene in die hard, you know, when he's bandaging up his own feet and, and, and pulling out the glass and you're just like, how does he do that? I became a bit like that. That was, so I think that maybe tougher.

Die hard, but with boils. Yeah. That's, hang on. I got boils. Yippee ki-yay. Yippee ki-yay. But I was pretty glad. Yeah. I'm glad I didn't get them. I'm glad I don't, I was pretty glad yeah I'm glad I didn't get them I'm glad I don't I was very glad when they stopped and but I was always nervous that because I didn't hered it for my father that my kids would have it but thankfully it was a guy thing or whatever but no thankfully my girls. Oh good didn't have them did you ever get them on any like embarrassing body parts I can laugh at. Yes I another time I. Another time I had to I don had a big one and a small one on my butt and...

So you couldn't sit or what did you do? It was, it was, I could kind of sit because it was kind of, you know... Somewhere where you could sit. I hope you're enjoying this Nobel Prize committee, people. This is who you invited. Starting to make your nose waxing sound very sophisticated. Look, I remember I was a very little kid. I was a very little kid and yet was in my butt and I remember Going to hospital so I remember laying in emergency like just laying on the table and then dealing with you know Like a nurse stuff. Yeah and thinking oh jeez. This is really painful

Yeah, that sucked But that so that one had a little bit of shame. I was a bit embarrassed But the other ones I sort of you know apart from the other one on my lip I wasn't you know apart from the other one on my lip I wasn't you know that was fine too but after that I became it was like a it was like a look at this tough tough thing I have to deal with kind of things that was kind of fortifying in a little bit you know after that yeah right school of hard knocks type thing but yeah I didn't want another one on my butt mm-hmm no you wouldn't want you wouldn't want too many on the bum no no

indeed no oh man well I don't know I don't know if I would listen to this podcast or not. For people who get boils, it might be really like inspiring and instructional. It's a niche audience. It is a niche audience. The idea that I think is more serious in the midst of it is people you know walking through particularly unique ailments and how they're able to cope with them. There's something in that that I think is of interest how people are able to cope how they adapt their life and so forth you know wearing new balance shoes to. Nobel Prize is one way of doing that. But I think, I think particularly with more unique, um, conditions that are, obviously they get a hell of a lot more serious than, than boils.

I see how you're trying to make this all worthy and sensible and dignified and a classy idea after a boil on your butt. But I think the ship is so man, I think you just got to lean in, lean into it. Just make it boil focused. Each week, so how many did you have? You could name them, you could give each one a name, like, you know. It's interesting that it was 42, which is like the famous, you know, Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide number, you know, meaning of the universe and everything. So, yeah. It was 42 boils, I think, that life would not quite have as much meaning as he may

have intended. I've never read a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxies. I know that's 42, but I don't actually know what that means. They're good books. So the part of the book is like someone builds this huge supercomputer, which is like the size of a planet and asks it, what is the meaning, like what is the meaning of life and you know, what, what asked basically what's the size of a planet and asks it what is the meaning, like what is the meaning of life and you know what, what asked basically what's the meaning of life in the universe you know and the supercomputer runs for I can't remember you know hundreds of years or something it's some crazy thing and then eventually it it finds the answer and it spits out the answer and the answer is 42. Oh right. And but then there's sort of like hang on 40 what's that mean what's the question and the computers like we didn't ask me that.

So then they have to restart the computer to find out what the question is to which the answer is 42 so it's like it's just a typical Douglas Adams jokes that the book is like full of jokes and funny things like that. I remember Stephen Fry saying once that he was the one person that Douglas Adams told why he chose 42 as being the meaning of life and he had to swear not to tell anyone. I don't know what he's going to do with that knowledge if it's going to be passed on. I assume Douglas Adams has died now, is that right? Yeah, died. Yeah. Shall we retire to the request room where we have, well, I think we have about 42 questions to get through from Patreon supporters, a lot, a lot of Christmas themed questions, lots and lots of questions. So we're going to have to do a faster request room. We're going to have to machine gun through them, but if you're a Patreon

supporter, uh, patreon.com slash unmade FM go along and You can listen to more of us talking 42 questions one for each boil But no boils mentioned in the request there we know but hopefully there'll be no boils if we can resist I don't think we're gonna manage to do 42 questions, but we'll do a lot one for each minute. It took Brady to talk About his Nobel Prize ceremony. Sorry had to drag on a bit. But on the bright side, no one listened to the boil section. So no one even knows you talked about that because they'd all stop listening. It's well hidden behind your anecdotes. Hidden behind the wall of my boring Nobel Prize talking.

I shielded you.