The Unmade Podcast - 165: The VelociPastor

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Tim and Brady follow up on previous discussions about unknown heroes, hydration, and parental work places. Then it’s a deep dive review of the motion picture The VelociPastor. YouTube version of this episode (especially useful for the film review, with lots of accompanying images) - https://youtu.be/sEYidaBmYpsMake sure you don’t miss this week’s Request Room either - https://www.patreon.com/posts/134772334Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/unmadeFMJoin the discussion of this episode on our subreddit - https://www.reddit.com/r/Unmade_Podcast/USEFUL LINKSMedal unboxing for patrons (you can watch retrospectively if you sign up today) - https://www.patreon.com/posts/big-medal-reveal-134196243The VelociPastor (Prime Video) - https://amzn.to/45fau6qAnd the film on YouTube - https://youtu.be/l8U1GboC204IMDb - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1843303/Thanks to James for his thoughts.Catch the bonus Request Room episode - https://www.patreon.com/posts/134772334

Just a few quick words about today's episode. The second half, starting around 34 minutes in, that's going to contain some very extensive movie spoilers for the film The Velocirpasta. I think it's a movie you're unlikely to ever watch, but I thought I'd warn you. It also contains a few edgy words and some grown-up concepts involving violence and adult activities. Nothing too serious, but some discretion is always advised. And finally, the YouTube version of the podcast will be made to include some visual cues and helpful screenshots. Check it out if you're so inclined, but don't worry, we're making a podcast and I hope Tim and I will paint a picture with our words. This is going to be a real episode with the difference the reason for that is we are going

to do like parish notices and follow up from the previous episode but then we're not going to do ideas for a podcast and all the usual stuff after that we're going to review a movie wow Tim and I have both watched a movie we're going to review it we're going to go deep maybe I don't know Tim and I haven't discussed what we think of the movie or anything but we have both watched it so we will get to that in the second half. This is a very like risky departure from our modus operandi isn't it. We've had riskier departures. Well that's true we've had me cooking on a couple of occasions which yes you'd think would visit was a dead end street if ever there was one.

I still kind of think it is but We may go there again. Yes Alright, but let's do lots of parish notices and follow up first because there's been loads of Communication and things going on with people. Oh nice First of all very exciting news and stakeholders, Patreon supporters will already know this, the Brady Haran medal and the Tim Hine medal that we discussed and are going to have struck, have now been struck and created and are in my office and we made a special video unveiling them just for Patreon supporters which you can go and watch if you are a Patreon supporter or if you become a Patreon supporter, you can watch us seeing the medals for

the first time, but they will be fully unveiled and discussed in more depth in an upcoming episode. But if you can't wait to see them and can't wait to see our reaction to them, seeing them for the very first time, go over to the Patreon. How are you feeling a few days later? Are you feeling, have you come down yet or are you still on a high? Well, my heart rate's still a little bit racing. I'm still a little bit excited about it. Yeah. But I am calming down ever so slightly.

They are something pretty special. Can you imagine how excited you would be if you were actually awarded the Brady Harren medal? I mean, just imagine that. Well. Brady Harren winning the Brady Harren medal. I mean, you and I do the awarding, so we could do that, I guess. I don't think it would be within the spirit of the medal. What would you have to do to be awarded the... I mean, what would you have to do that by public consensus?

You say, look, I just I just need to take this one myself. I just deserve it. I mean, I really... you would have to have one hell of a year. It would be a good one it'd be a big one I don't think I don't think that's going to happen but I rule nothing out. Let alone the Tim Hine medal I mean gosh. How these medals will be awarded and what's going to happen with them is yet to be fully established. Watch this space but if you want to see them Whoa, I wouldn't blame you. They're pretty special go and have a look There's a there's a whole video of us doing it lots of fun But everyone will get a full proper look at them and be fully informed in an upcoming episode

So you've had a lot of mile have you yes so in the in the last proper episode not the not the Tommy ball episode We did more recently but the episode before that 164 proper episode not the not the Tommy What are they about? What did we do in that episode? What was the? Yeah, well, I know you don't remember. Of course you don't remember. Well, first of all, we had Tim trying to guess the swear words. Oh, yeah. The swear words that were banned on US television and I had the list and Tim had to guess them. And there was some censoring done for obvious reasons. And there have been calls for us to release an uncensored version, maybe as Patreon bonus material or to raise money for charity.

I think I speak for Tim when I say, I don't think that's going to happen. No, there would need to be a Patreon band above the one that we have at the moment, significantly above the one we have at the moment, one enough to compensate perhaps for my, the questions. No, I wouldn't lose my job, but there'd be a conversation about it. You think? My goodness me, yes.

There'd also be one in my marriage too. You think the head of the synod, the head of the church would pick up the phone and say, Tim, I was just listening to the latest done made and not too sure about that. I actually think there are quite a few listeners across the church and a lot of them would maybe enjoy it. I think as the words go further along,

it may get a little darker, but I think it's probably as much on the home front and in my local congregation that the questions might first come. But surely your family knows you swear. Well, yes, there's a difference between swearing. Well, firstly, swearing, there's swearing and then there's swearing, right? Like even within the canon that we provided there, you have to admit, you know?

Yeah. So there are words there that I just would not say. No. And so, yeah, no. So, but, but I said them and I said them on a podcast. So, yeah. Yeah. Don't think that's going to happen people. But I said them and I said them on a podcast. So yeah, you did. Yeah, don't think that's going to happen, people don't don't think that's going to happen. But, you know, make us an offer.

Make us an offer. Absolutely. Tim and his family have their price. Oh, indeed. Yeah. The right price. I'll put it on a T-shirt. OK, let's move on. Heroes, unsung heroes, unknown, no, not heroes, unknown heroes. This was about people who have done heroic things and saved you in a time of need, but you don't know who they are. They're anonymous to this day. So, Creativability said, we should have called them unmade heroes in like when you say you make someone

when you identify them as a criminal. Oh yeah. This suggestion was we should have called these unmade heroes, which I think is a pretty cool idea actually. Good suggestion. We also haven't gone with the idea in, you know, like Goodfellas and, you know, Mean Streets and a few of these,

in the Mafia lore, there's that notion of a made man. Yes. And I just wonder if there's, we should talk about what it means to be an unmade man. This is something that in the unmade world could be something. Because we have the colonels. Yeah. We have colonel ships that we bestow and we now are going to have the Tim Hyne and Brady Harren medals that are going to be bestowed. You think there needs to be a third honor or?

Well, yeah, yeah. Like a foot soldier kind of, you know, they're an unmade man, that someone who's brought into the fold will never leave, takes an oath, you know, that kind of idea. Right. So they kind of brought into the circle. Like you're branded like in Yellowstone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Like that's exactly right.

Jeez, I'm loving Yellowstone at the moment, I have to say. By the way, just by the way, loving it. Listen to country music in the car all the time and everything. But anyway, yeah, yeah. I finished Yellowstone last night. Oh, well don't tell me anything. Like the series. I'm in the second series and jeez, I'm loving it.

I nearly bought a horse today. Just. Series and she's I'm loving it nearly bought a horse today just. Yeah we we're thinking about like a like one of those ranch trips to Montana or something you know as a holiday. Right right yeah I can't wait for the photos from that with you with a hat on and just you around animals is always really funny but hmm. Also what hat you wear like they all have their trademark hat don't they so. Okay alright anyway let's talk about some unknown heroes. Sharon said, A friend of mine was getting married in our hometown about six hours away.

I stopped at a highway rest stop to get some gas and for some reason I put my wallet on top of the car. It wasn't until I reached the destination three hours away and needed to hand over my credit card to check in that I realized I must have taken it and left it on the roof. I called the gas station in hopes that the wallet had rolled off the roof and someone would have noticed and handed in. But the attendant hadn't received anything. He put me on hold, had a look around and couldn't find anything. I left the name and phone number of the hotel in case anything came up later on. In the morning I was walking by the desk and the clerk called me over and said the gas station attendant had called and asked for me to call back. When I got hold of him he told me he'd

found my wallet. But it wasn't someone who handed it in. Apparently when his shift ended at 2am he went walking along the on-ramp to the highway with a flashlight to see if he could find the wallet. He made it a full kilometre along the highway shoulder before he saw my wallet on the side of the road. I was able to stop in on my way back home but he wasn't there and so while I did speak to him on the phone I never met the person who was willing to risk walking on a highway at 2 a.m. to find my wallet. Oh fantastic, how marvellous. Yeah.

It's not just a token look that's a that's the that's a real effort I like that I like that a lot, very admirable. Leaving things on the roof of the car is is a risk. I once bought a new pair of Doc Martens and I still had them in the shoe box, that's how I knew they were, I hadn't taken them out. And I was packing my car and I put them on the roof of my car while I was going to do something else. Forgot, drove away, never saw them again. Oh dear.

You ever left anything on the roof of your car? No, but I do remember when I worked at the petrol station, Mick Skorpos Petrol Disc discount king. Pump and petrol. Yeah, this was back in the days where there were, you know, older cars. And so they didn't with the with the little, you know, you had to use a little key to open up the petrol gate, not the gauge. What do you call it? Like the bit where you put the petrol in the lid and stuff. Well, you should know you did it for a living.

What's the inside lingo? I can't remember the term. Anyway, the cap cap cap. That's it. Petrol cap. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. So it's all coming back to me now. Yes. And yeah. But you use a key to open the petrol cap and then take it out. And most people would put it on the roof.

You remember now and now they're sort of plastic and they're stuck, you know, and attached. But it's a classic case of people getting back in the car and then driving off with that still on the roof. That's something you'd look for all the time. And every now and then there'd be a, whoa, oh, my, my, my, my, my. Yep. Caps on the roof. And you'd find them on the forecourt quite often, would you, that people had driven off and they'd Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'd just fall off or fall off down the road or something like that or they'd come back every day Lee would that happen daily or weekly or how I know it had happened fortnightly Yeah, or someone would come back and they would say I lost it. Is it here and we'd say no

It's probably somewhere down the road and we used to sell little plastic replacement temporary ones that you'd um, yeah You'd put in there. Yeah, that's where Mick Skorpos really made his money Little orange plastic replacement caps. Yeah. Yeah, that's why he could discount the petrol so much That's why he was the discount King because he was making a killing on those orange replacement caps. That's how you do it That's how you make a million.'s how you make a milling man. You do you just you find that little niche thing. Yeah, a from Newfoundland rights. My younger brother has an intellectual disability.

And when he was a teenager, he would regularly go for a walk alone with permission to a playground about a kilometer from our house and our dad would pick him up from there. One day when I was at home for the Christmas holidays my brother decided to go for a walk. After the usual amount of time had passed in which my brother would normally be at the park, my dad went to pick him up and didn't find him there. He drove around the route and also didn't find him. I ended up putting on all my snow gear and snow shoes to check a clearing where my brother might have taken a shortcut on his walk, but I didn't find him. My dad and I returned home and we along with my mum were trying to figure out what we should do, where my brother could have gone. Then a car pulled up outside our

house and my brother got out and came inside. His hands were very red and very cold. He had gone out without any mittens and it took a while for him to warm back up. The person in the car never came up to the house so we didn't know who they were or where they found my brother. My brother wasn't able to articulate this to us either and he wouldn't have thought to ask the person who they were. It's still a mystery over a decade later. It was a very scary day for my dad, my mum and I and we were very grateful to that unknown person who dropped my brother back home.

Aw, there you go. Pretty cold in Newfoundland around Christmas. to that unknown person who dropped my brother back home. Oh, there you go. Pretty cold in Newfoundland at Merry Christmas. Indeed. I mean, I assume it was snowing when they said they put snow gear on. It's just not that they go searching. Yeah, apparently it was very, very cold apparently. I have edited that note. There was a lot of detail about how cold it was as well. It was a cold day.

Right, right. How's that? Nothing brings out the inner poet like a cold day describing the cold. It was so cold. So, so, so cold. But yeah, no, that's yeah, potentially life-saving. Lovely work. The clouds were angry that day. Yeah, I like this one because there's another one to go with it. Listen to this one. This comes from Acid Moband. In late 1999, I was living on the Northern coast of Venezuela and an area that was hit by heavy rains.

On December 15, I went to bed around 11 PM and I heard it start to rain again. A few hours later, my wife and I awoke to the crackling boom of our front doors being split open and the home flooding like a scene in Titanic. The rest of the night was spent passing our two girls from suburban rooftop to suburban rooftop in an attempt to escape what we later learned was quite a tragic flood. To skip ahead, the next day a small helicopter managed to land

on a concrete water tank on the rooftop where we sat. They took the women of our small group, including my wife and two young daughters, into the chopper. sat. They took the women of our small group, including my wife and two young daughters, into the chopper. I asked the pilot would he come back for us and he nodded yes. In my recollection he looked like a young Tom Cruise. I lost track of time. As my wife and girls were being rescued it seemed quite enough, but later that same chopper came back and landed on that same water tank in that same improbable way. He got me and the others back to the airport. Here I am so many years later. I don't know his name but I owe him my life and more importantly the lives of my family. Legend. Wow. Yeah. Maybe it

was Tom Cruise. He does that sort of thing doesn't he? Were there cameras filming? He would have filmed it if he was doing something like that. Oh yeah definitely, definitely. We'd know about it. That's right. That's why he came back for a second one. It's like take two, go get the other guy. Yep, we've got to get the other angle, let's get the reverse shots. But this is interesting, completely unrelated, we heard from John, and this is what John said,

I just wanted to share a perspective from the other side of unknown hero. I've been a helicopter search and rescue pilot in Canada for about 15 years and while we actively avoid the hero term, I know I've been on the other end of that idea many times. This is an aside here Tim, when someone says I hate to be called a hero, like, I don't look, I don't like to be called a hero. says I hate to be called a hero like I don't look I don't like to be called a hero but I'm often called a hero but but it's it's not really a yes does happen many times though. John continues we almost never meet the people we rescue usually an ambulance or family member picks them up before we've had a chance to finish shutting down the helicopter. The interesting thing for us is that we never follow up after the mission.

That is, we never really want to know what happened. While we will extensively debrief and discuss things like the hoist location, our choice of landing technique or the weather, we have a self-preservation mechanism where it's better to just not know if the fisherman with the heart attack died or the premature baby from a remote community made it. Sometimes we get cards or letters but with maybe a handful of exceptions I've never met anyone I've rescued after and they certainly never knew my name and that's generally how we like it. You're a hero John, you're a hero. You're a hero yes. Look yeah that's an interesting idea, isn't it?

That you basically you play your role and then that's it. Yeah. Yeah. I hadn't thought about that. I always thought, oh, I'd love to know what happened, but they don't. They don't want to know. And I hadn't thought about that. You just need to move on, move on to the next one. Another one's coming. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. That's the defining thing, isn for so for that the heroic acts are often like the moment you never forget in your life but of course a whole range of people do life-saving sort of jobs what for any ordinary civilian would be a heroic act yeah as just part of their ordinary day I mean ambulance you know Ambo's they're just fantastic I've seen them we are

witnessed at a couple of times you know come in save's, they're just fantastic. I've seen them, I've witnessed it a couple of times, you know, come in, save someone's life, put them on the thing, off they go. It's like, just another day, not even another day's work. This is another hour, move on to the next one, next hour. Incredible. It's the same with us. Like a lot of people say, you know, they're having a really bad day

and they listen to the podcast and it like makes them have a laugh and cheers them up. And like, I don't want anything for that. Just doing my job. Don't call me a hero. It's not for me to say I'm a hero I was just making a podcast I do it all the time you know sure sure you may have had a giggle you may have seen a spoon you hadn't seen before but hey don't thank me it's just a job. We do get here at called heroes a lot I mean quite a lot. me it's just a job we do get here it called heroes a lot I mean quite a lot and we don't always deserve it not always no not always yeah but you know if you want us if you want to you know you want to send us stuff that's you

know we're just doing our job we just you can find an address in the on the website no no no no one else can say a few swear words and bleep them out and then talk about it. But we can. Some people say that's a heroic thing to do. Well, you know. Yeah. That's for you to say. Not everyone makes medals with their own name on it, but you know, some people do.

I think literally no one else in history apart from Julius Caesar has done that but we've done. Even Alfred Nobel had the good grace to wait till he died. Do you want one more hero story? Yes, I do. Yes. A.A. Meat says, as a kid I was a bad swimmer. Once on a family trip to a small natural lake that was a few meters deep, I got too tired in the water. As the youngest sibling, I just couldn't admit it. I wanted to seem grown up like my high schooler brother. On my swim back, I simply ran

out of strength midway and started drowning. It was terrifying. Then suddenly, a big man shows up next to me. All I can remember is that he was shirtless and he had a light blue metallic digital camera. He calmly helped me. After a while he asked if I was okay to keep swimming and when I confidently said yes, only I started drowning again, he wordlessly rescued me a second time and brought me all the way to shore. What I appreciate most is that he didn't make fun of my overconfident want for independence. This happened maybe 15 years ago so he must be pretty old by now. But I still kind of regret not finding him and thanking him. Whoever you are, thank you for saving my life.

Wow. A big shirtless man. Hmm. Are you sure it wasn't you, man? Well, who knows? When I think person with a camera shirtless I often think of you. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't When I think person with a camera shirtless, I often think of you. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. I don't think it was me. I think I was busy having medals made in my honor that day. You were rather than saving lives with your shirt off. It sounds like this guy did this whole thing without putting his camera down. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he took pictures.

If it was you, get in touch. Indeed. And send us a photo shirtless We want to sit with the camera. That's right. Yes. Yeah, that would help with the ID With the ID Tim and I talked Tim and I talked about hydration last episode Did we you know there was Tim there was talk about if Tim drinks Ribena, can he use that to hydrate himself? Oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah. I wanted to know about this. No, very good, yes.

Loads of people got in touch about it. Loads of people got in touch. I can't read all of them. I'll just read one from Fuji Kill to the DSLR that says, A few notes regarding hydration. Beverages such as tea, coffee or juice or water with some Ribena in it are mainly water and your body can absolutely use that water like any other water. Good. Even drinking coffee you will come out ahead on hydration.

Right. The mild diuretic effect of the caffeine doesn't come close to offsetting the water consumption. Now I talked about how my massage therapists always tell me to drink a lot after a massage. Your massage therapist tells you to hydrate after a massage because water is very good for muscle recovery. It's not like the massage is removing water from your body or dehydrating you. You just have a higher hydration requirement when your muscles need to recover. Oh okay.

So it's like going for a run, right. Lots of other people got in touch including doctors and that, but I chose to read the one from Fuji killed the DSLR. Right. Does the, you don't have to read them, but I just want to know, did anything from any of the people with medical qualifications contradict what Mr. Fuji killed the DSLR said? No. Okay. No. Apparently drinking Ribena will hydrate you. It will. Okay.

Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what people have said. This is still not official medical advice. Well, can I just say because if it didn't like if it totally mitigated the effect of the water then I reckon the Gatorade people are in real trouble. Yes. Yes. Some people did point that out that those drinks also are hydrating. And I think the coffee illustration works if it's not a really milky coffee surely. I mean I drink black coffee but if you would if it was to be mainly milk I mean milk's a whole different kind of liquid I guess as well which just obviously hydrates you but it must do it in a different kind of way.

Yeah. And a flat white you know coffee or a cappuccino is mostly milk. So it's not necessary. If you're going to run a marathon, don't expect to having a couple of coffees. But milk is surely mostly water. I guess so with a bit of milk in it. I imagine milk comprises a lot of water. You would think so, yeah. What what? I don't know that. No would think so, yeah. What, what?

I don't know that. No. Oh no, now we're gonna get a whole bunch more messages. Is there, is milk mostly water? I reckon it must be. Is milk mostly water? Like, is it milk or is it water with a bit of milk in it? Like...

Ha ha ha. Can, and does, will milk, you know, hyd hydrate you I'm saying yes I think it will too but it might it might have it'll have more in it so to like fill you as well as hydrate you which might mean it hydrates you less but if surely if milk is like like water and something else like water it's then that other thing is milk I reckon it's I reckon it's water with no milk is a combination of this is what I think milk is a combination of water with various proteins and fats and other stuff in it that is good for babies that so that other stuff that's milk like so no that's part of milk I think water is an ingredient of milk. Otherwise it's powdered milk.

No, they do something else I reckon to powder it. Not just take out the water. No, you're right. There would be more to powdered milk than just drying out milk. Yeah, that adds something else in, like quick or Milo or something. But... Yeah, yeah. So I think that's true. Water either milk is either milk if it's if it's got if it's partly water Then it's water and milk like and so the milk is just the other bit. No, but yeah, okay. Yeah

Is milk milk? I hear you I hear you because tea because because tea you can have a cup of tea with lots of water And I bet you just got the tea bag or the tea leaves you still call that tea. That's right that's right. So yeah yeah tea is water and tea right? Coffee is water and coffee. Yeah. And I wonder is milk milk? What makes milk milk or is milk just milk with water and then a bit of milk? So the other you just keep just keep going. Yeah. What makes milk milk? These are the these are the sort of questions that are tackled here on the podcast. This is something we need. We need Mr. Fuji to get on, could be of course Ms. Fuji, kill the DSLR to look into this if indeed some of the medical staff are too busy actually saving lives as heroes to attend

to our questions. Yes. Yeah. We'd ask John to look into it, but he's currently flying a helicopter. Just, just do it his job. It's all right. Do it his job. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. We've never had as many messages as we had from episode one, six, four. We just discussed so many topics that people wanted to talk about. Uh, and another one we talked about was going to your parents' workplace. Oh yeah. Memories of going to your parents workplace and we had some nice messages about that too.

Here's Torgard. I have many fond memories of spending time with my dad at work in the late 90s and early 2000s. He worked at a Faroese power company in their primary power plant. He would often work the night shift and I would get to spend the whole night with him. It was the best. The control room itself was a place of wonder. One of the walls was covered in switches and lights and seven segment displays,

which must've been humongous computers. He would sit at a horseshoe desk with three or four big CRT monitors with archaic esoteric interfaces, all covered in dials and numbers and maps of currents and clocks. I was fascinated by the mouse cursor because when it reached the edge of a monitor,

it could jump across the gap over to the next like magic. And the keyboard was very wide. The F buttons at the top went all the way up to like 25. Ooh. I've been to some power plant control rooms and big control rooms of like nuclear facilities and that and they are cool places. And the best thing is because these places are usually built in like the 60s and 70s

and they haven't been like changed all that time. They're always really old school even in modern places. Like you'd be surprised the modern facilities now how clunky and old fashioned the control rooms are. they're brilliant I'm picturing the sort of horseshoe desk a bit like a what Homer Simpson sits at you know at work He's got that kind of you know levers and things. That's cool. Yeah, I love photos of these places abandoned You know when they abandoned them and they have those lovely haunting old industrial 20th century sort of places Brilliant. Yeah, it's crumbling away an old calendar on the wall

You wouldn't want to spend too much time there without a suit on but anyway, now you're talking like Chernobyl Yeah, yeah, we don't recommend that no, I would love to go there though TG rations says my coolest thing at my parents work was having access to those pneumatic tube Transport thingies that we used to send random things to each other with. Oh. That's just a cool memory. Don't you love those tubes? Are those those ones with the air they go up through the into the roof?

Is that the one? Yeah. I think my only experience with those was I was at a diamond dealer wholesaler in Amsterdam. I went to Amsterdam for a friend's bucks party and he wanted to buy the diamond for the engagement ring for his wife because that's the kind of guy he was. He likes to get a good deal and get the price. So we went to like an actual diamond place and we got taken into this locked room and they said what do you want and he described like the diamond and the size and the carrot and all that and then this guy like made a quick phone call and a few seconds later

this pneumatic tube went whoop came to the office and he opened up the carrot and all that. And then this guy like made a quick phone call. And a few seconds later, this pneumatic tube went, came to the office and he opened up the thing and pulled it out and opened the tube and unscrewed the tube and the diamonds like the ones that had been requested were inside. So they used these tubes to send the diamonds so no one had access to the mother load obviously. Oh wow, that's cool.

I've seen them in some retail shops, like when the person at the checkout has too much cash in their till, they take a bunch out, chuck them in one of those and fly them up to the safe upstairs to be counted, just so that there's not lots and lots of hundreds there. This might be around Christmas time or it might be all the time,

but that's how I've seen it done before. I've not seen that in a shop, that sounds cool. Phil says, my father was a train driver for the Swiss Federal Railways as a young boy I was allowed to ride with him in the locomotive cab several times Sitting on his lap as we drove through the Alps and along shimmering lakes and vineyards These rides were always a big adventure for me the sound of the tracks the stunning landscape and the feeling of being part of this world have stayed with me ever since. How cool is that? Your dad's a train driver. That's brilliant. Yeah, that's, that's, I wonder at what stage you realise, oh this is, like it's your dad having a job that's one of the things that kids play at that they're going to do

when they grow up. You know what I mean? Like something with a siren. Yeah. That's really what it is. And one of those jobs that's, that's a, that's a, that's a dream job that's in your story books and in films. Lovely. Uh, Rob said, when I was little, my dad worked for the poor authority of New York and New Jersey on the 67th floor of the North tower of the well trade center.

Every so often he'd take me into work with him. I remember also like a dream the feeling of walking through the main lobby of WTC1. That space left a lasting impression on me the way natural light poured through the towering windows, the enormous scale of the place and the sweeping curved mezzanine above the flags. It felt like something out of a movie, majestic, modern and alive with people from all over the world. Thankfully my dad survived the attacks on 9-11. He made the decision to evacuate immediately after Flight 11 struck his building, just 26 floors above him. Tragically some of his co-workers didn't make it out. It's a haunting yet cherished

memory that I got to share those moments with my dad in that incredible place before it was destroyed. He's now retired from the poor authority and after everything is truly enjoying his best life, cruising around the world and soaking in every moment. Well, that's quite a feeling to know that your workplace, yeah, went down. You don't often hear from survivors from 9-11 actually. We hear about the, well, the heroes that died. Yeah, but that's tragic. Had you been into the World Trade Center when it was standing? I'd never, no, I'd never been to New York at that point. And going to the World Trade Center was something I really wanted to do. And yeah. Yeah, me too. I'd not been yet. No.

Yeah, you know, I was fascinated by tall buildings and it was a real place on my sort of, you know, to-do list. I can tell you now, I've watched a crazy amount of doco since about it. You know, about a bit, not just about the tragedy, but about being built and what happened. And then there's the man on wire, the one, the guy who walks out on the wire balancing. That's fantastic documentary, yeah. Do you know what's interesting? I went to New York the year after it happened and I went to ground zero and you could look through

specially made windows down at the huge pit and like there was still ruins there and they were still clearing it out. And I remember I was actually there on the anniversary. I think I must've been there on the one year anniversary because they had like special, uh, ceremonies and things like that. So I did go to ground zero and I reckon I've probably since then been to New York 10 or 15 times.

Hmm. I've never been to the new world trade Center, the new building. Oh, right. I've never been to that one since they rebuilt it. I've been to New York all these times and done all these things and I've seen that building, you know, a gazillion times in the distance, but I've still never been since they rebuilt the new building. I always think I'll do it this time and I just never get around to it. Yeah, well, Freedom Tower I think it's called, isn't it?

Yeah. Yes, that's it, yes. I visited when they were, when the early part of building that the early part down there walked around but I'm the same. Yeah, it doesn't hold the same mystique at all for some reason even though it's now sort of a sacred site. Yeah, you see it you go there it is gosh it's I mean it's massive isn't it but it's a monolith but yeah no I've never been yeah I've never been in it No, and finally, I won't read the message from Sam about going to work with his dad who was a marine biologist

It was my favorite message Sam. Thank you very much. But you know why I can't read it Oh is this you need the sensor again or something man? Well, well, yeah, I don't know if you could beep your way around it. It was a fun story. Yeah, but I don't, yeah. I don't know. It just doesn't quite fit with the tone of the show. But it was a great story. Right. Most intriguing. Let's move on. Time for our film review. Well this is something indeed. Yes, my golly. Alright. What a film. The film we're reviewing today, I'll tell you how it came about. I was on social media and just doom scrolling and someone doom scrolled like a Instagram post about this film saying

and I thought there was no such thing as the perfect movie, and yet there's this. And they posted a description of the movie. The movie is called The Velocirpaster. And the description says, after losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur.

At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime and ninjas. And I thought, wow, it's about like a priest, you know, a pastor, a man of the cloth, involves dinosaurs, which I love, you know, I love a bit of dinosaurs and dinosaur movies involves ninjas It just seemed like a film that we should watch Hmm. So Tim and I have both watched this movie. It's available to watch on YouTube Mm-hmm. I will include a link, but I'm not recommending watching it Why aren't you recommending Brady? Well, I don't know, I think it's not a requirement to watch the film.

It's probably not a film for little ones. No. It involves some over the top violence I would say right from the outset. Like in a horror sort of, horror over the top kind of way. Well you can just imagine there are dinosaurs so there's a whole you know Jurassic Park but there's also ninjas so that probably tells you enough. And as I said you know a lady of the night. Oh indeed.

As well. Yes a marine biologist. Don't you start me on marine biologist man. What they get up to I had no idea. So Tim do you want to make any opening words or I was thinking I'd go through the film chronologically, what happens in the film and my thoughts on it. So I've got some notes here about the film in order. And I know you've made some notes too. Do you want any opening remarks or should we get into the film or how do you want to do this? we get into the film or how do you want to do this? Well, look, I mean, how do you how do you approach a film like VelociPasta? It really is something quite well, I'd like to say that I haven't seen anything like it before, but I

actually studied film at uni. So I've very much seen a lot of films like this before. Okay. Student sort of homemade type film. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Super 8 slash video, you know student sort of homemade type film? Yeah. Yeah, that's right super 8 slash video You know sort of productions. Hmm But this is different because there's there's something because they went through with it and it's a full length feature It's over now not much over now hour and 15 minutes, but that's that's movie length

You know, that's not a short film. No, some serious efforts got into it. It has, there's a lot of work that's gone into it. And I, after a while, I was really quite kind of, not taken with it, but I forgot to make notes. I was just watching the film and enjoying the film. Ooh, that's always a great sign. It is a good sign. It's always a really good sign. I know. So let's start with the film. Yeah. We have we at first we have a some text come up on

the screen that says rated X and you're thinking oh here we go. Well the rated X I mean is X still a rating? It's not an X rated film in the same way you'd think of an X rated film, is it? I mean, it's on YouTube for goodness sake. Well, yeah, I know, I know. But I think this is just a joke because remember it says rated X and then the next bit of text fades up that says by an all Christian jury. Oh, right. Which is the first hint that maybe there's going to be like some agenda here, like some messaging, some like, you know, positions being taken. And then the

film gets underway and it starts with a sermon being given by our pastor. His name is Doug. He's giving a sermon. Though we all suffer, it is the righteous who will persevere. From the book of Job, I believe. He does a little bit of preaching a little bit of messaging as a as a man of the cloth Tim Any thoughts on his preaching style and what he what he's what he was saying to his parishioners and to believe in God Is the greatest gift any of us can have I thought it was pretty average, but it's yeah It's a little bit strange the kind of the priest pastor preaching is sort of bit there's a few comments I'd make about this because I was trying to work out what denomination it is and if he's a but he's clearly a priest a Catholic priest because later we see him he lives like in a communal home and all that kind of stuff. But of course Catholic priests don't really I mean they do preach they do what's called a short homily but they're not like you know like prostitutes that sort of preach proper they sort of have a few thoughts to share. My biggest issue was that he kind of finishes the sermon and then that's the end of the service he doesn't go.

Okay now let's sing another song or okay now let's wrap this up he just kind of goes and that's the end and this and you know what I mean like and it's all over and it just sort of feels. Little bit wrong and those little details matter to me. May my enemy be like the wicked. May my opponent be like the unrighteous. Amen. Amen. Thank you. There was a little board behind him though that said hims and it it had the hymn numbers for people to look up in their hymn books.

And it was hymn 172 and 396 were the hymns that were up on the board behind him. Because I was wondering, is that some Easter egg? Do those numbers mean anything? I haven't got to the bottom of that anyway. Well there's lots of different hymn books so it would depend which hymn book they were, like the Australian hymn book or... Yeah, or maybe the numbers just mean something else. Maybe the numbers are the code and it's not about what actual hymns they are. What numbers were they again? 172 and 396.

I didn't look into if those numbers have any special meaning, but anyway, Doug then goes outside the church and he sees two people waving to him from a car parked on the sidewalk who are his parents. And he's waving happily at them. His parents have come to see him. But then their car blows up and they die in front of him. And he's like, no, no, it's all very tragic. Now here's something I'll point out about the YouTube version.

And I don't know if this is unique to the YouTube version or what's going on here, and it's the only time it happens in the film. But when the car blows up, we don't see the car blow up, and we see like a shot of the, where the car's going to be, and some text comes up on the screen that says, VFX car on fire, which is obviously a note to the editors in the filmmakers that he we're gonna put the burning car yeah and they haven't got around to putting in the VFX shot of the burning car and I don't know if there's a final cut in which they did it and for some reason this incomplete slightly incomplete version leaked onto the internet or it's a joke or what's going on but we don't actually see. joke or what's going on but we don't actually see the car on fire but we were supposed to there was supposed to be a VFX shot there as is patently obvious but anyway Doug's parents die no no and this scene then ends I'll just point this out because this becomes something of

a trademark of the film, this scene then ends with him going, no, no, and the camera pans up and pans away from him and goes up the facade of the church. And lots and lots of scenes in this film end with the camera panning away and leaving the subject, which is fine. But the thing that's really noticeable about it in this film is most of the time, before the pan ends and we fade into the next shot, suddenly the camera just gets all wobbly and goes really terrible.

And like, and it keeps getting left in. And I don't know why they didn't edit out sooner or do the shot again, but it's like the person who's doing the pan suddenly just gets the shakes and can't hold the camera still and I Felt it really annoyed me. Maybe it's just because I use a camera for a living Oh, I know I know it normally that sort of shot would be used as a sort of a climactic poignant in other words the camera would pan away from the person crying and go across to a

Well a little cross or a small detail that makes the point, you know, but it doesn't, it just goes nowhere, doesn't it? So it's, yeah. To a weird wobble. Anyway, that's a tragic death. Anything, any thoughts there, Matt? Well, when we say that there are some violent and scary moments in the film, this isn't one of them.

Even though his parents die, it's less believable and not at all frightening. Although Father Doug is really quite upset, clearly. He is upset to see his parents blow up in front of him. He's just preached on suffering from the Book of Job. He's walked outside, his parents have blown up and then he's walked back inside again or he's run back inside I think so yeah because we next see Doug being consoled by obviously his mentor or boss a more senior priest called Father Stuart who says to him you know your parents died that's what parents do they die on you which is a memorable line in the film and this has this has Doug questioning God like as often is the case when people die,

you start to question your faith. Doug's questioning his faith. He decides he wants to travel and he's told to go where God will not follow. Yeah, I thought that was, I wrote that line down too. It's a funny piece of advice, pastorally, to say, okay, you're grieving, travel, like go, funny piece of advice pastorally to say, okay, you're grieving travel, like go. Oh, like, I think there's a stage in grief where you might say, well, you know what? But I, I might go and do some things, but I don't think it's the first impulse. I don't think your first impulse is, oh, really you've had a major tragedy or you should run away as fast as you can, or you should go to Vegas. Like I think that's bad pastoral advice.

I think you just need to sit quietly and sit still and be present with your grief. But if Stuart just says, well, you should go. And he goes to China. He does. That's the next scene. We see him in China. China, big text on the screen. I don't know what he means that where God will not follow to China.

There's a hundred million Christians in China, but God also loves the 900 other million people as well. I don't know, I don't know why China was chosen as the godless place but anyway he's walking through the woods in China and sort of a woman in traditional Chinese dress is running through the woods near him. She is then killed by an archer and like the arrow goes through this woman and she falls down in front of him. You know, in quite a bit of strife, clearly dying. And that's when Doug says to the woman on the ground, are you hurt?

And that's when I first realized, hang on, that's when I first realised this film is actually taking the piss a bit and having a bit of fun with itself. Like, because that's such a funny thing to say to someone with blood coming out of them and arrow through them. He's going, are you hurt? Anyway, the woman hands Doug something that says destroy it or they will hunt you forever. And he's handed this looks like a claw of some sort in his hand yeah and he and a sharp claw like a like a like a dinosaur claw or something yeah like a like a

dinosaur perhaps if we didn't if we yes as we know the name of the film we might think it's a dinosaur claw there's no clues yet that it could be a dinosaur claw but his hand gets cut by the claw Doug's own hand he sheds blood and that's kind of that's kind of it for China he gets this claw his hand gets cut by the claw, Doug's own hand, he sheds blood and that's kind of it for China. He gets his claw, his hand gets cut and that's the China part of the film. Anyway, we cut back to Doug back in the United States. He has an awkward hug with Father Stuart Stewart and we and he's back. Everything's good. Now we cut to us.

No, we cut to a street scene and we introduced to our lady of the night. Hmm. Who's called Carol and she is with her pimp. Is it? What's a, what's a pimp? Yeah. A pimp. Yeah. Pimp.

Frank, Franky Mermaid. Frankie Mermaid. Hmm. Uh, so cold because apparently he's swimming in bitches. And he comes across as not a nice guy. Well any thoughts on Frankie Mermaid and their introduction to Carol? Carol seems like the hooker with a heart of gold. She certainly does.

I love you describing him, he doesn't seem like a nice guy. You know he's not one of the nice pimps, you know, in films, you know, they're like, it's yeah, he's quite a funny character. He is. He couldn't be more pimp if they tried with all like the flamboyant clothes and it's like bit crazy. But anyway, now what are you going to trick tonight? The park. That's right Baba, the park.

Because that's where the real money's at and you are the real money. Doug goes for a walk in the park and then it happens at night now and Carol happens to go through a walk through the same park and she's threatened by a gunman, a mugger, she's attacked by this guy and it's looking bad for her and then Doug turns into some kind of monster and attacks the gunman and kills him. In fact, decapitates him and we have a really dodgy mannequin head on the ground. We do get quite, we get a decent look at the monster dinosaur at this point. You know, they're not holding it back too much. We do get a look, but then this happens.

We have this attack and then Doug wakes up in a bed and we're not, for a few moments, we're not sure if this was a dream or not it's sort of it's unclear did this really happen. Yeah yeah there's a sense by which I wrote here like this there's a look there have been films in the past that were brilliant films despite having unrealistic special effects. And like Jaws is a classic example, amazing film but it's not actually really about you know the shark and when you see the shark it's not terribly convincing but the film still really really works. And so I thought about that at this point where I thought well that wasn't very convincing but maybe the film will, you know what I mean, hold. Yeah, yeah. Well we quickly realised this wasn't a dream because while Doug's there in bed, Carol walks in. And at first there's some suggestion, what's going on here? There's a woman with the priest, have they been having a little bit of adult time together or not? It's not really clear. But then it appears that's not the case and in fact they just talk about this dinosaur attack.

And basically she tells him, you know, what happened the night before? You turned into into a dinosaur you killed this guy she's very grateful you know you saved my life. It's basically suggested he ate the guy which is where one of my questions just about the logistics of a man being able to turn into a dinosaur comes comes in if you turn into a dinosaur right yeah yeah. If you turn into a dinosaur, right? Yeah, yeah. Big dinosaur, you eat a person. Eating a person is like a lot of food. That's more than you or I could eat. We couldn't fit a whole person in our stomach. And then like half an hour or an hour later, you turn back into a human.

A pastime. Where does all that food inside your belly go? Yeah, look, that's true. I was wondering whether he turned into a dinosaur that's the same size as him. In other words, is his mass the same or disease mass somehow. Super naturally increase yeah we do get a kind of answer to that later on but but he's able to eat a whole person most of a person although Carol says I will take you. To the to the body and you know they go to the to the park and he sees like an arm or something, some part of this person he killed so he believes it's true. He realizes he has done this. Although he's still very religious at heart because

at one point I think Carol touches him, like you know, in a thankful way and he says, touch not thy sinning hands Jezebel. So he's like,'s still a he's still a man of the cloth and he's he's not comfortable with her occupation. No, no indeed. But she encourages him and basically suggests we should kill more bad people. This could be a service for good. You know you have this ability to turn into a dinosaur and it's kind of like it reminds me a little bit of you know reminiscent of the TV show Dexter where we've got like a bad bad guy with a you know a bad streak but he only uses his badness for killing bad people. We're going to go down this sort of Dexter route.

Yeah yeah this is this is this is a really interesting moral question because it's the you know is it is it. Is it can is it okay to do wrong in order to do a right? That's essentially the ethical question. Is there a... What is the answer to that Tim? If you suddenly had this ability to turn into a dinosaur, would you go and kill muggers and bad people? No, no, I wouldn't. No.

No? No, because vengeance is mine says the Lord. So vengeance is in the hands of God and justice in the hands of God. We can certainly engage in legal systems and appropriate systems and governing authorities to keep a common sense of justice in our community. We should fight for justice, but not vengeance, which is a whole other level. Yeah. Okay. But couldn't God be using you as his tool? Like his way of getting vengeance is to use you as his weapon? Yeah, like history is filled with people who think they're God's chosen person to enact vengeance.

Yes. They're not the people that we build statues of on the front of cathedrals, like they're the other people. They're not the heroes. Okay, okay. other people. They're not the heroes. Okay. Well the Bible's got some. There are some in like the Old Testament aren't there? Like you know there's a few people who like Moses, Moses drowns a whole bunch of people doesn't he? In the Red Sea? Well he does, he doesn't drown them does he? He leads the people to the other side and then the waters close up. So yeah. Yeah fair enough. It's a little bit more divine than that.

Yeah. Okay all right I'll give you that. Now Doug says he has to rush off to confession which at first I thought meant he was going to confess but no he's taking confessions and as chance would have it the first person into his confessional booth is Frankie Mermaid who's doing his first confession in two years he says. He smokes in the confessional booth, Frankie Mermaid does who's doing his first confession in two years, he says. He smokes in the confessional booth, Frankie Mermaid does. I don't know if it's allowed.

I assume not. Frankie Mermaid really embraces confession and straight away is just owning up to murders and bad stuff. And at first Doug is kind of, you know, taking it as he should, I believe, until Frankie admits that he blew up a car in front of the church. And it becomes clear that it was Frankie Mermaid that killed Doug's parents. I blew up their car. You murdered it. Actually, it was right in front of this church.

And Doug becomes incredibly angry. He can't handle this. And Doug becomes incredibly angry. He can't handle this. His hand turns into a dinosaur claw and he kills Frankie Mermaid then and there in the confessional booth. Is this normal in churches? I wouldn't say it's normal. Right. No, no, it's not unheard of. It's not normal. Right. Look, can I just say from a filmmaking point of view, I thought the the scene I'm amazed I've never seen the confessional booth used in this way, like the hand reaching through the confessional booth to grab him. I thought it was actually a really fantastic

directorial moment. Like that's the kind of thing, you know that you would have seen in in the Godfather you know the Godfather 3 there's that sort of religious symbolism and then there's sort of you know murder being enacted at the same time I thought I've never seen this. The iconography of the confessional booth. Yeah the confessional booth and someone reaching through that sort of mesh that they seem to have there I thought that was I thought that was actually really well filmed I thought that worked really well. And you can email Tim the thousand different films you can think of that have done it before Tim hasn't can't think of one now and neither can I just at the moment. But it was a it was the end for Frankie Mermaid anyway he's no longer swimming in bitches now he sleeps with the fishes.

Do you think he was in there provoking he seemed like like he was provoking, or was he genuinely going to confession? No, I think he was just genuinely confessing and he just blundered to killing the parents of the very priest that he's confessing to. So what was his motive for killing the parents? He just blows up a car for fun. No, I think what a little bit is revealed about that later on, maybe. We'll get to that. So we go back to a meeting with Carol, Doug. Carol is over the moon that Doug has killed Frankie. She's really grateful. They decide to come up with plans and rules for how Doug is going to be this vengeful dinosaur. Will only hurt bad people, they say. Will only hurt bad people they say. Will only hurt bad people.

And then we have a really full on montage that shows several things at once. We show the relationship strengthening and burgeoning between Doug and Carol. We see him getting fit. We see he's still working in the church. We see lots of stained glass. We see lots of dinosaur attacks of bad people,

we see lots of shots of Jesus, all set to some weird rock and roll music. It really moves us along. It moves along that romance is developing, that he's getting a few kills under his belt, and it also ends with the trademark pan. Did you enjoy the montage, Tim? Oh, it was compelling,? It was compelling yes. Moving yes. Compelling yeah and and moved the film along kept the pace going which is important. We're then introduced to these sort of ninjas at this ninja training camp and it seems they're worried about their flow of money from organized crime because of a mysterious dragon warrior who's interrupting crime.

That's Doug by the way in case you haven't figured that out. And we also hear that there's some cocaine shipment coming, but they're going to need to be careful of the dragon warrior, that the dragon warrior doesn't upset their cocaine shipment. We get lots of maniacal laughs from the bad guys. There's sort of a main head ninja and his like to I see his second in command. And the night will laugh is so over the top ridiculous this is another big. Clue that hang on this is this film is self aware yeah it is kind of trying to take the mic out of itself a little bit.

a little bit. And we have another classic pan up and a ninja gong. The classic gong that tells you that you're somewhere in Asia. Classic film trope. Yeah. Like a red bus in London. Well we're not in Asia. I think the ninjas are in America but they are bus in London. Well, we're not in Asia I think the neat I think the ninjas are in America, but they are of Asian origin Well, I'm wondering about that. So he doesn't go back to China. It's all in it all remains Yeah Yeah in America. I think these ninjas are US based ninjas. Yeah, right. I'm sure they are because yeah Can I just say just going back then to make the point why? Like is China, do you know a place with lots of Jurassic fossils? Like is it known as a particularly...

I mean, China has been a fertile ground for dinosaur fossils, yes. So but I don't think there's any particular need for it to have been China, other than I think they wanted to introduce the kind of Oriental fighting styles. Yeah, yeah. That appears in so many. Strengthen that link a little bit. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I don't know if ninjas themselves are from China.

I suspect not, but I'm not going to get into a talk about the reality of ninjas because that will really that's a real red rag to a bull bull to ninja enthusiasts if I pretend I know anything about ninjas. And if you're passionate about ninjas and you'd like to inform Brady, then this would be a great opportunity to contact him. Either email or Twitter with a lot of ninja. Do you still own Tim Hine dot ninja? I did. You know, I renewed that the other day and I'm like, what the hell have I got this for? Nice.

It's like $30 for another year, renewed it. Yeah. You did? What am I doing this for? Anyway, yeah, I own it. Have you got it diverted to something like your book or something? Just the unmade, I think, isn't it? It just goes to the unmade, I think, yeah.

Okay, you can change the diversion to something more fun if you want. Tim Hyde dot ninja. Like a create my own ninja site or something. Yeah. So anyway, at this point Father Stewart sees Doug with Carol, a prostitute, and this is a problem for Father Stewart. He gets a bit of a talking to Doug about taking his eye off the bowl. You haven't missed a Sunday in 16 years and all of a sudden that girl shows up. That girl's name is Carol and she's very nice. Doug fesses up that he is seeing this woman and

we have a lot of scriptures quoted to each other at this point. I don't need an exorcism. You're hallucinating that you're killing people. And thine enemies shall be vanquished with righteous and swift justice Matthew 32 6. And I looked up some of these scriptures and I think they just made up and they weren't actually because the things they're quoting and talking about I don't think necessarily matched the scriptures they quoted. Oh okay. Leviticus 24 24 and I think Matthew 32 6 doesn't even exist. Right. 30 to 6 doesn't even exist right I think Matthew only has 28 chapters so so there's a bit of there's a bit of much like pulp fiction where. Where Samuel L Jackson quotes that bit of scripture and that's actually not a real Bible verse he's quoting.

Half true it's and it's half adapted yeah yeah yeah and it's from a different area and yeah so anyway, so I think we have some scriptures quoted here that aren't Legit they disagree about you know, the direction Doug should be taking so At this point father Stewart wants to get rid of Carol and you know the problems that Doug's having So he locks Doug in a room Doug is locked up in a room while father Stewart goes away to seek advice from the diocese. He wants to like, you know, he wants to figure out what's going on here and get some further advice. So we leave Doug kind of locked in a room at this point by Father Stewart. How do you feel that this was a pastoral care? How was this whole moment dealt with between the two men of the cloth?

Oh, look, I think it was a bit clumsy. I mean mean it's fair enough that he goes off to get some advice from further up the chain. That's probably wise. He's a little bit moralistic though isn't he? Like can I just say on the... it should be pointed out that that hookers or prostitutes are presented overwhelmingly favorably in the Bible. They're always the point of acceptance by Jesus and sympathy, and in one Old Testament story are the heroes, like just absolute heroes. And so, yeah, that's really, whereas it's like the moral religious people that are always like under attack and presented as being judgmental and corrupt and bad and all that kind of stuff.

So in any sort of story that involves, you know, a minister or a priest and a prostitute, the prostitutes, the one who comes out looking pretty good and is the one ready because blessed are the poor and, and, and the hypocrite, you knowite minister is the one who's caught with his pants down and comes out looking like a bit of an idiot. Pretty Woman is another great example. Mmm. Yeah, that's right. Nice. Well, that's very good. Richard Gere has sort of a Jesus-like quality to him, doesn't he? Those soft eyes. Now with Doug locked away, we have a flashback scene here, and we're reintroduced to Doug's parents. He has visions of him with his father and his dad telling him to follow his heart, which I think is something Doug is doing.

So it shows that he's sort of following some parental advice. But at this point, Father Stuart then takes matters into his own hands and he employs some kind of exorcist. Yeah. Some weird character with pointy ears and nail polish. I kind of like that line that sort of you know skip the bureaucracy and go straight to the exorcist. Yeah, he does. Yeah, because it turns out Father Stewart can't get access to the people he needs for advice. So yeah, he's so we get the, uh, we go to the exorcist, uh, and Doug's going to have an exorcism, but before that can get underway and we can see what's going to happen with this exorcism, we get another flashback

saying this time it's father Stewart's flashback. Yeah. So we get a, we sort of get a bit of a filling of his backstory and where he comes from and why he is the way he is. And this, this time we're in the Vietnam War and we have father Stewart, the same actor, who's an elderly man, but wearing a dodgy blonde wig to attempt to make him look younger, which I would not say is successful. And we, we realized that in the war he's got a girl back home that he's writing to called Adeline. And also has a mate, a best mate called Ali and him and Ali are sharing weird friendship bonding moments in the jungles of Vietnam and Ali,

they're having a moment. I'm thinking I'll settle down and finally start that family. We'll get you out of your son. Back home your sweet Adeline. But then Ali gets shot and dies in front of him. His best mate dies. And this is bad obviously. Yeah.

Right. This is a sad moment. But then inexplicably Adeline turns up to visit, to show up in the jungles of Vietnam to see, to see Father Stuart. Well he's not Father Stuart at this point, he's just a soldier, and she comes running towards him. And just as she's about to hug him, and they're about to have this reunion in the jungle,

she steps on the most effective landmine I've ever seen. That completely pulverizes her into a few cups of red liquid that gets splashed all over Stuart without disturbing the ground in any way whatsoever. No, no, indeed. Incredible. She just vanishes and turns into these cup of red liquid and a couple of the other soldiers looking on share what I then think is the funniest line in the whole film. Because this woman's like she's just completely turned into a red liquid.

Yeah. Splashed all over him. And one of the soldiers turns to the other soldier and says, she's too far gone to be rescued. I lost it at that point too. I love that. That was that one. Yeah. That was a good line. That was a good line. So that gives us some backstory for Father Stewart.

He lost his best friend and his girl back home, you know, in the Vietnam War. So very sad. Were you moved by the Vietnam sequence? Any thoughts? Did it remind you? I actually thought this was the best bit of the movie. I thought it was not the best bit maybe,

but I really enjoyed that. I thought that was all done really, really well. There's a particular genre of film that's I think not been properly explored which is the unrealistic kind of comedic war scene you know there's you see a little bit of it in that Seinfeld episode which is a flashback to Mr Costanza, Frank Costanza when he's like a cook and it all goes wrong and people get sick and he's dressed like he's the same age as he is now in the memory and he's in greens and it's a bit like that. It's like it's very funny.

I thought this was really good. So anyway, that's why Father Stewart became Father Stewart I believe. I think it's explained to us that these traumas, you know, led him to the priesthood. And his love gone, you know, yeah. And he, yeah, chose the celibate way. No one ever really comes home from the war. The losing Adeline was a blow I didn't recover from. The exorcism, we go back to the exorcism. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The exorcism goes bad. Doug goes into dinosaur mode, but not full dinosaur, just his hand, just a big dodgy glove, if I can call it that mmm he slashes father Stewart he seems to be left for dead and then Doug leaves the room and for some reason the exorcist guy who seems like a character who's begging to be killed because he looks so evil nothing happens to him he just gets left in the room mmm Doug runs away what do you think of the exorcism any thoughts on exorcisms?

I don't have a lot of experience with exorcisms. No, I'm not one to skip the bureaucracy, but not to go straight to the exorcist. Okay, right. Especially outside the system. I love that he doesn't go find someone else in the Catholic church. He's part of a church, but he goes, oh, well, let's go find this other guy in his house somewhere. Yeah. And ninjas, we see some of our ninjas in the park and they run into the dragon warrior, Doug.

They plan and attack on him. They see him and they're going to plan how they're going to attack him. There's another weird flashback where one of the ninjas has a flashback to his girlfriend in China. Seemed a bit unnecessary. Didn't really see how that move the plot forward much. Well that's what it got me confused as well because I was like was father Stewart taken to China that's why I thought the last sequence was all maybe in China because it was like why did they take father Stewart to China but obviously they didn't.

We'll come back to father Stewart we will come back to father Stewart anyway whatever plan they have to attack Doug as a dinosaur in the park goes wrong, the dinosaur absolutely cleans them up and takes them all out. He wins. Carol comes home to a shell-shocked Doug, calms him down, you know, because he's, you know, Doug just doesn't know what's going on. He's had an exorcism. He's possibly killed Father Stewart. He's killed a bunch of ninjas in the park. Carol calms him down and then we have the love scene the romance scene Doug perhaps goes back on his vows of chastity. It's a weird sort of montage the love scene lots of split screen and lots of effects being played with by the editors here.

lots of split screen and lots of effects being played with by the editors here. It's highly stylized I would say. I think you should probably use the bleeping out instead of using the words love scene. I think that's just just be a little bit careful there. Right. Yeah. No nudity. No, I think you should bleep out nudity as well, man. Okay. There's a few flashbacks during the love scene to things that have happened previously in the film that have led to this point we also get some flashes to the baddies plotting. And it ends with a trademark pan away complete with wobble and Carol and Doug have consummated. relationship as they sleep in bed the next morning in the afterglow of their romance

They're attacked by ninjas in the bedroom and catching them unawares Doug and Carol fight them using Skills that I didn't know they had Carol is unbelievable indeed indeed They just just using their hands they kill all the ninjas in a bit. They all die. Yeah, it's very efficient a bedroom Duck doesn't use these dinosaur skills either does he I think he just fights as like as a as a pretty shot Yes, we're all well trained. Hmm. Yeah, it does So Doug and Carol kill these ninjas one of them gives them some information just before he dies that helps them Figure out where the ninjas are and then Doug and Carol have like a big kiss

And then they realize everyone's dead around them now things get interesting now though figure out where the ninjas are and then Doug and Carol have like a big kiss. And then they realize everyone's dead around them. Now things get interesting now though if they're not interesting enough because Father Stewart it turns out is alive and we see he's with the ninja boss. The boss of the ninjas is there and here we get we learn a lot more about the story because it turns out that and the ninja boss explains this to Father Stuart, that they're importing all this highly potent cocaine with an agenda, and the agenda is not what you might think. It turns out they wanna get everyone hooked and addicted

to this highly potent cocaine, then cut the supply in the hope that all the people who are addicted to drugs will then go to help groups, and these help groups are typically run by Christian organizations. And it's hoped that if these people then go to Christian organizations, they will hear the Lord's voice and we will create a huge army of Christians. So this is basically Christian outreach. This is a way to convert more people to the to Christianity by getting them hooked on cocaine and then cutting their supply. What do you think if this is an idea Tim?

Is this something you've ever considered? I know you've been involved with help organizations in the inner cities and things. Is this a legit tactic? In my experience it's not as effective as you think it's gonna be it's I mean you think cocaine sure we'll get a big shipment in no worries but it doesn't always pan out yeah a lot of the regular parishioners take most of the cocaine and communion you should say that communion service it It was wild. It's not as effective as an outreach. It is a sort of a... I mean, in our church we have

Soup Sunday and I just wonder if there's a variation on this. Getting people hooked on a bit of a split pea and ham. What flavours of soup do you have on Soup Sunday? Hey, oh, we have all sorts. Everyone brings their favourite. It's actually quite an amazing That's right. What flavour soup do you have on Soup Sunday? Hey, oh we have all sorts. Everyone brings their favourite. It's actually quite an amazing day because people bring phenomenal soups. Like 15 different soups are set up around the room and people just go everywhere and you have a cup and all that. It's fantastic. What soup does Mrs Hynd make?

She's post-soup now. She's moved into another stage of life where she's merely a consumer. Oh really? I thought she'd be well up for making soup. No, I don't think she was ever much of a soup person. Dad was. Dad used to make a really fantastic pea soup that I'd enjoy when we were coming back from the snow and it was all cold. But yeah, well sorry, when we were all cold the soup wasn't cold. The soup was hot. That was part of its enjoyment. But no, Mum wasn't much of a soup person. But can I just coming back to the plot, they use a phrase here that I think is worth mentioning,

which is a phrase that's got a bit of currency at the moment because of the way the world is going. They use the phrase manifest destiny. Do you know that phrase? I do know the phrase, yeah. It's really interesting phrase, manifest destiny do you know that phrase I do know the phrase yeah it's really interesting phrase manifest destiny which has this it's part of the American kind of entitlement or exceptionalism about being able to come as an imperial power and take over a country and then take over other

countries it's got this it's a really sort of interesting term you can do a deep dive if people want to read on it, but this notion of manifest destiny and it made me think whether they had some sort of ideological agenda for the way for making the film beyond just having a self-aware fun, whether they were making a real point. I think it's pretty clear that the, well, I could be wrong wrong but I came away from this film thinking the person who made the film is not a fan of all aspects of Christianity. I do think I do think you know right from the start where it says you know this film was rated X by a jury of Christians like I think there's a business that like while it's funny fun. I do think there is a slight anti religious streak running through it Perhaps I agree, but but it's also ridiculous though. So it's yes. Yes It's it's it is anyway much like Tim

Father Stewart doesn't think this plan is a good one and he opposes it and his penalty for that Is that the ninja boss stabs him with an arrow. I think that's the end for him. But then the baddies, their strategy map, the baddies, the bad ninjas have got this map that outlines their strategy for world domination, catches fire supernaturally and burns in front of them. And I thought that was very Raiders of the Lost Ark, you know, the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark and other parts of Raiders of the Lost Ark, you know, the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark and other parts of Raiders of the Lost Ark where, like where the where the swastika catches fire and at the end of the film, obviously, where things go really pear shaped.

There is this sort of supernatural burning of things that God made disapprove of. Yes, I thought of Raiders of the Lost Ark as well. Now we're getting near the end of the film. Doug and Carol go to the ninja training camp for the showdown battle basically and here it's revealed that the second in command of the ninjas who's not from Southeast Asia by the looks of it he looks very Caucasian and he takes off his mask and he reveals that in fact he is Doug's brother, Sam.

But he feels quite upset and resentful towards Doug because he feels he was neglected by the parents and Doug was the favorite son. And this has kind of driven him into becoming a baddie. So that may also have something to explain a bit to do with the parents being blown up and things like that. Yeah, there was something about the he was the the Doug was the chosen one and the good boy and and it goes back and shows all these previous scenes or highlights memories from childhood where just and the camera pans and just off screen from all of those memories was this brother looking rather sad. Sam, yeah. memories was this brother looking rather sad. Sam, yeah. Unconvincingly looking brother, but yeah. Yeah. Now a huge battle ensues between Doug and Carol and the remaining ninjas. It's never explained why, but Carol is an amazing martial artist, a fantastic fighter in her own right. Doug at some point uses some power I didn't know he had. That's like the force where he summons some sword. I think it's because the sword has some shared ancestry

with him and Sam, and he stabs Sam with this sword. But then Carol gets really badly slashed, quite gorely. It's too late for me, she says. I love you. They have like this, the whole fight seems to pause and all the ninjas stand back while Doug and Carol have this heart to heart as she's like, you know, the life force is ebbing from her after being slashed. The villains allow that. They have a final kiss and then Doug just goes on a rampage and he turns full dinosaur

and this is the first time we get some really good looks at him in the full dinosaur mode we see the full dinosaur suit and he's just going wild against all the ninjas and pulling off arms and all sorts of things it's a huge battle. And this is the first and only time we really get a proper look at the dinosaur in all its glory. Very convincingly played here by Barney.

It is a terrible dinosaur suit. First things first, they should have made this a night scene because having it in broad daylight really showed up how bad this suit was. And also, like, it is just a guy kind of clumsily running around in it and not really able to control his movement very... Yeah. It's like something you would get at a party or someone would wear to a cricket match. Like it's pretty... That's right., any, any semblance of credibility the film had is stripped away at this point. But it's still pretty funny watching this guy sort of bumbling around in a dinosaur suit, just like bumping into ninjas and making them die and stuff. I enjoyed that. That was good. It was, it was like, oh, it's all become plain now now here we go here this is clearly the climax and yes there we have it. Clearly the budget of the films running out around this point like this.

Yes at this point the big boss shoots an arrow at the dinosaur he's pretty much the last man standing and that makes the dinosaur turn back into Doug. It loses his power. It's apparently the arrow was tipped with some ancient anti-venom we're told. The big ninja boss says to Doug, do you have any last words? Because he's about to finish him off. And then at this point he also calls him Velocipasta. That's the only time we hear that term used. I think he's like coined it on the spot or something. So that's where the name comes from. Do you have any last word? Veloci-pasta!

And then Doug says only six, only six final words. And you're thinking, oh, what's this gonna be? Like you're left hanging for a few seconds. What are these six words gonna be that's gonna turn everything on? Like you're left hanging for a few seconds. What are these six words going to be? That's going to turn everything on. And then his final six words are, I think my hand is immune. And at that point he pulls his hand out from behind his back and his hand is still the dinosaur claw or that dodgy dinosaur glove.

Uh, and he, he then attacks the boss ninja and pulls off his head and he holds a loft like, like the World Cup or a trophy, the head being a mannequin. And here they make the mistake of not just showing sort of the back or the side of the head or alluding to it. They decide to show us the full face to show, you know, this is the guy and it's the worst face. It's got these terrible eyebrows stuck on. It looks it it couldn't look less real if you tried but that's it he's killed the he's killed the big boss because his hand was immune and I've only just now just realized why the hand might have been immune because it was his hand that got the

cut wasn't it oh yes the claw so maybe the maybe the dragon warrior power is stronger in his hand and the rest of his body so but the anti-venom didn't affect his hand and he's able to finish off the baddie. Thoughts on the battle Tim? Oh look it's chilling. There's, it's, I mean it took me back to that sort of first famous sequence in Saving Private Ryan, you know where you feel like you're not just watching a battle but you're in the battle. Except this time it's...

It's a guy in a... It's a guy in a dinosaur suit. Just running around blind, bumping into things. In like some sort of park in the afternoon. Yeah, it's... It's not quite as immersive as it could have been. But, but I kind of it does it doesn't like I said it just makes the ridiculous of the ness of the film, you know, plain like it is sort of a fitting highlight.

And climax if you like. Yes. I did I didn't say that while he's holding the head aloft at this peak moment of violence with the film does pause and we have some big text on the screen, Tarantino style text on the screen and it says only through the elimination of violence will we finally be able to achieve world peace, Gandhi. So we have a pausing moment to reflect on the words of Gandhi and the importance that violence is eliminated again I'm assuming this is the sense of humor being expressed in yes indeed yes. And then we cut to a doctor surgery turns out Carol is going to recover. Quite miraculously it says fine yeah she's gonna be okay she says she's gonna be fine and we have some huge text come on the screen saying she's fine I don't understand why there's some suggestion that the church's nefarious plans are gonna continue. And that Doug and Carol are gonna continue battling for justice and all that's right and we also know that there's a billion dollar bounty on his head, which is quite extraordinary. Big bounty for catching Doug.

They have a big kiss. We have a final pan written and directed and edited by Brendan Steer. Roll the credits. Brendan Steer and Auteur for our time. You look at the credits, it was a bit of a family affair, actually. I think Father Stewart is Daniel Steer. I don't know if that's his father. And Adeline, who blows up on the landmine was Kathleen steer. So there are it was a bit of a family affair and making of this film yeah well that's how these passion projects get up don't they they they they get a little bit of money and and a few afternoons and and a paper mache head and.

You know it all goes from there Can I just point out something though? Bit of a tick to the music. I quite like the music throughout. Yes. I was curious what you'd think of the music. How would you describe it? Quite heavy. It was pretty rocky and heavy.

The better music was the more melodic stuff. But I liked the fact that it was all, it seemed to be like local bands. You know what I mean? Like unsigned bands. not not super well recorded but. Not professionally recorded but they sounded great yeah kind of lo fi kind of stuff and there was a couple of tunes that I thought were really really good there's a band they call math the band. And and I noted that their particular song stuck with me it It's say with me. It was halfway through the film I can't remember the sequence now, but

Yeah, good music Good music good local music. There's a film got five point one out of ten on IMDB so above five out of ten and It's tomato freshness score is 63 percent. I know popcorn meter 76 percent I know I've been doing a bit of reading and it's actually it's it's big. It's made its money and it's become quite popular. And there's talk of a sequel. I mean, really, it's well, it's kind of succeeded because it's kind of charming in a way. It's I mean, the thing I like about it. I'll have to say I mean, it's clearly it's a rubbish movie in on many levels

However, the bit that it works is that it's clearly made out of passion love It's seen through with a sense of integrity like it's not like it starts great and then it falls away It's kind of consistent. Hmm. It's it sort of holds together. It's not too long A lot of you know, like amateur films are just far too long and boring. Whereas this keeps moving through. The characters don't break, like they don't break the fourth wall or anything. So even though there's some sort of like, sort of jokes of ridiculousness where you see that they're hamming it up a little bit, they don't, it doesn't fall apart.

The characters stay in character as characters and so they become kind of believable who they are, you know, and yeah, yeah, yeah, there's sort of a, so that sort of golden thread holds through all the way throughout. So it's kind of in some, it's not unwatchable as a film. It works as a piece of art. Yeah. Its budget was between 35 and $45,000. And it was, it was made as a piece of art. No. Its budget was between $35,000 and $45,000. And it was made as a feature length adaptation of a 2010 Grindhouse trailer by the same director that he made as a film school project, which went viral.

So he obviously made a trailer for a fake film that didn't exist. Oh, yeah. And that went viral, so he decided to make the film. And Grindhouse, which I didn't know much about, is a film genre which I've seen described as being audacious themes, explicit violence and sensationalist nature, offering an alternative to the mainstream Hollywood. Yeah, no Tarantino is massively influenced by the Grindhouse.

In fact he made a Grindhouse feature as well. And he, yeah, this is very much his kind of you know, 1970s was just to dawn grindhouse. I think that's inspired by as well. That's by Rodriguez, who but they together then made a grindhouse double feature together, which is the only Tarantino film that's like lost money like it wasn't popular at all. know film that's like lost money like it wasn't popular at all but yeah it's very it's that kind of movies pumped out you know Charles Bronson violent made really cheaply you make a dozen of them you know what I mean it's sort of the 70s version of the Westerns you know person taking revenge kind of story that plays in the afternoon you know and on TV. This is obviously a much lower standard than that the studios used to pump those out whereas this is kind of him making it but you can see why that's obviously he's it's a passion project

he's into it. Like obviously it's terrible but that's looking at it through the prism of you know million million dollar films. I'm glad we live in a world where people still make these things and do these things yeah. And you know I don't know where it's led him to but hopefully it's led him to other places as well. Oh look it's yeah no that's that's a really good because we're all everything's a little bit too polished these days as well because so much. Television is so. And films you know we're talking about hundred million dollar films and people go see yet another marvel film you know and it's just stupid money and everyone's watching the same thing so yeah this sort of organic local stuff's well made and it's

where people start as well like quentin tarantino we've mentioned before he made reservoir dogs he made like a film called my best Friend's Wedding and it's utter rubbish and you can find all sorts of scenes and bits and pieces from when he was filming stuff on YouTube now, it's all sort of available and it's like this, it's just bad acting, it's not quite bad acting but it looks all wrong and self-conscious and weird and you know, and then he's and then he's next he sells his next script and then the one after that gets made Harvey Keitel gets around it that's Reservoir Dogs and suddenly you've got a legend you know

like so yeah yeah who knows start you have to start somewhere that's right who knows where Brendan steer will steer his career after this. Did you have any overall final thoughts, man? What stayed with you? Was there any message that stayed with you? Was it the Gandhi moment, the suffering moment at the beginning, the claw? I mean, the battle with the guy bumbling around in the suit's hard to forget. Mm. Like, as the climax.

The mum stepping on the land mine. I thought the lead performance was good. I thought he was good. Let's give him a shout out. The guy who plays Doug, you know, he carried the film, didn't he? He did. What's his name? Gregory James Cohen as Doug Jones. He was good. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think anything's gonna particularly stay with me from it.

Yeah. Well, seeing it took us almost as long to describe the movie as the movie itself. People may have made a greater, more efficient use of their time to actually watch the film rather than listen to us do. I mean, the film is the film is dreadful. It is dreadful. Yeah. But I couldn't make a better one. And I make films on YouTube

for my living. Making fiction is hard. I mean, yes. It really is. Writing fiction is hard. Writing good fiction is hard, much harder than nonfiction. Yeah. And making a fictional film. I mean, writing a song, you know, covering a song is one thing writing a song is hard. But making a film I mean goodness me it's the smallest detail this is a classic moment I remember this from. What's the directors name I've forgotten his name now he wrote he made plan nine from outer space Johnny Depp played him in. Ed Wood. Ed Wood yeah the classic filmmaker who made you know some of the worst films of all time in Hollywood history and he became legendary for it he believed that the details don't

matter like he'd film a scene and that you know the grave would like stone would fall over and he go it doesn't matter people don't worry about that, you know, the grave would like stone would fall over and you go, it doesn't matter. People don't worry about that. They were interested in the story, but it's exactly the opposite. Like when you're watching a film, if something's wrong, it, the whole thing falls down. And so to tell an effective story, everything's got to be just right. And so you need money for that and energy and all that kind of stuff. And yeah, that's hard to do. Yeah. All right. gotta be just right and so you need money for that and energy and all that kind of stuff and

yeah that's hard to do yeah. All right well if you are so inclined and you haven't watched it yet Velocipasta you can we watched it on youtube uh but look into i'll try and find other ways to link to it as well i don't know if there are if that's legit or there are more legit ways to watch it or what's going on but show some support to this filmmaker and this this group of people that made this film that entertained us for an hour and 15 to watch it and then another hour and 15 to talk about it yeah that's right avoid the latest Jurassic World remake which is no doubt average and watch this instead but one more question yeah a sequel what would you what would you make a sequel where would you go with a sequel man oh what would i

want to do for a sequel i'd want to i'd want to take it all the way to the vatican would you i'd want to see i'd want him in conclave i'd want i'd want to see i'd want to see him elected Pope. Velocipope. Velocipope. Tyrannosaurus Pope or something. All the way to the top. Wow. That would be surprising. A conclave 65 million years in the making.

Imagine the reveal. He comes out on the balcony and the curtains part. Yeah, or like everyone's waiting outside and all this red smoke comes out the chimney. And he's just ripped them all to pieces. The budget's going to have to be hired to recreate the Sistine Chapel. Oh golly gosh. I'm sure they filmed in a real church. Maybe they could get permission to go into the Basilica.

Maybe they could. Do you know, I can see the cover now, right? The cover would be like Michelangelo's picture that's on the Sistine Chapel, the hand of God and then the other hand coming in is like a claw. Like. Yep. Yep. You've got it.

You've got it. I'm all over that, man. Awesome. Oh, that's great. And then after, so Velocipasta, Velocipope, and after that, Velocipodcaster. The next level. Yeah, third in the trilogy. There we go. Tim and I are going to do a request room.

We're off to the request room for a little play around. If you're a Patreon supporter, you get some extra content there. We've got a couple of challenges that have been laid down for us today. Tim. Yes. Yes. I'm all ready for this. This is good.

I'm really happy with mine. Well, one, you know about one you don't know about. And if you haven't seen them yet, my marble runs are being posted to Patreon as well, where people win prizes, Patreons win prizes and get to watch me commentate marble runs. And I'm loving all the positive feedback they've been given. Thank you very much. Here's a little bonus. My mate James here in the UK agreed to watch the film too and he sent me this short review. Have a listen and maybe send your review in too if you like. Now then, I went into this, watching this film with I'd say zero expectations after it was presented to me as the worst film ever.

I've now watched it, I sat at my desk when I should be working but for my favourite Australian I've freed up some time to do it and I have to say I didn't think it was too bad. Now I don't know what that says about me as a human or as a person or as my taste but I've watched that and I think I've taken it for what it's meant to be a bit of fun a bit of tongue-in-cheek and yeah I enjoyed it yeah I don't I was expecting it to be bloody awful and in fact yeah I've come away thinking do you know what would I watch it again? Probably not. Would I recommend it to friends? Depends if they were gonna sit and smoke a load of weed and watch it I think it'd be hilarious but no I wouldn't. Frankie Mermaid, swimming in pictures, hilarious character. I think it

had incredible Hulk versus Bruce Lee enter the dragon vibes. Yeah, the laughter scenes with the head of the bad clan, with the blonde guy, his brother, I found actually genuinely made me laugh. The exorcist guy, the priest gone bad, again, Nicolas Cage vibes about him, I found that quite funny. I have watched a lot worse films in my time. I watched the new Joker film and

It's the most depressing thing I've ever seen not a moment of joy throughout the entirety of the film, but you know lauded by the critics and I felt depressed and down and yeah, just got what I didn't enjoy any of it and Whereas this had me chuckling at my desk It's just finished. I just shook my head just for what a load of nonsense But what enjoyable nonsense and I think that's what they're trying to convey. I don't think that It's meant to be any sort of serious film I think you know some of the camera work at the beginning especially at the

beginning where they're sort of panning up the church and stuff is shockingly bad but yeah the overacting in it the the the kung fu in pajamas or not in pajamas, in underwear. Yeah, just a funny. I didn't mind it at all. So would I say it's the worst film in the world? Absolutely not. I was expecting to sit here and record a little video clip saying that what have you subjected me to there? And relegate you down the list of my favourite Australians but in fact I've come away thinking yeah that was alright, didn't

mind that at all, one hour of silliness, I think everybody needs an hour of silliness in their life with all the crap that's going on in the world so, I enjoyed that. And I'm going to score it a solid 6.8 out of 10 for stupidity and it made me laugh a couple of points in it. And the dinosaur costume is absolutely hilarious and I would like to get one for my son's sixth birthday. Kind regards. Thanks James. Email unmadefm at gmail.com to send us your audio review. Anywhere between one and five minutes is best. We might share them. Now head on over to the request room. I promise you that is a much more wholesome episode. You'll even hear me impersonating Mrs. Hynde.