The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Baby names we like but won’t be using: 2nd trimester Q&A

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

This episode is sponsored by Wayfair, Rocket Money, Blissy, and Good Wipes Wayfair: Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget at ⁠https://wayfair.com⁠ Rocket Money: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster—join at ⁠https://RocketMoney.com/UNPLANNED⁠ with promo code UNPLANNED. Blissy: Wake up with clearer skin, smoother hair, and cooler sleep—use code UNPLANNED for an extra 30% off at ⁠https://blissy.com/UNPLANNED⁠ Good Wipes: Grab the new Peaches & Cream or any other goodwipes item at Walmart or ⁠Walmart.com⁠, buy any two packs, text your receipt, and get reimbursed for one of them—details at ⁠https://goodwipes.com/UNPLANNED⁠. Trying to pick a baby name isn’t as easy as it sounds… 😅 In this episode, Matt and Abby share the baby names they almost used, answer your 2nd trimester questions, and get real about postpartum rage, mood swings, and life leading up to the due date. Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify / Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Chapters: 02:34 - Grief and gender disappointment 10:21 - Most exciting part of this pregnancy? 10:48 - How do maintain energy? 11:45 - Registry must haves? 15:50 - Ad 17:22 - What are you going to do differently? 20:10 - Due date? 20:37 - pregnancy craving? 21:48 - how is matt handling mood swings? 27:47 - what personality trait do you hope the baby gets 29:38 - Ad 31:06 - Halloween costumes? 33:50 - stretch marks 35:33 - does Matt put the right amt of ice cubes in your drinks now 36:48 - honest thoughts one being one of three boys 38:24 - Post partum rage? 41:43 - processing the miscarriage 44:30 - How many weeks are you 45:04 - Ad 46:30 - Name we like but aren't using 51:20 - When will you announce his name? 52:11 - How do you talk to your kids about death 55:11 - are you doing alright? 1:00:05 - Ad 1:01:30 - How did you get pregnant after an IUD 1:03:00 - Do you still have s*x during pregnancy? 1:03:50 - How to get on the same page with my husband 1:04:47 - What is a name that matt likes but abby hates 1:05:29 - Baby moon? 1:06:04 - plans for PPD? 1:07:35 - Funny pregnancy moments Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's talk groceries, specifically your groceries. With Instacart, you want your groceries just the way you like them, right? Well, the Instacard app lets you do just that. They have a new preference picker that lets you pick how ripe or unripe you want your bananas. Shoppers can see your preferences up front, helping guide their choices. Instacart, get groceries just how you like. Names that we like, but won't be using. I don't want to offend anybody.

Quincy, Finley, Sloan. Sorry, I don't like the name. Okay, dang it. Writer. Ryder from Paw Patrol is pretty sick. One time we said Luca, but now I feel like maybe not. I liked the name Rad for like boy number three or four, but you didn't like it. I just offended someone that named their kid Rad.

I like these two names, but you didn't like him. Ferris. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, baby. Okay, dang it. Ramsey. Let's just name our kid Dave Ramsey. You really like the name Fletcher. I would love to name a boy Fletcher.

Maybe we haven't locked this name in like we thought. Welcome back to Unplanned, everybody. We're so happier here. guys the amount of support that we received since announcing the gender of our baby we're having a boy by the way if you if you didn't know that we're like so so excited um we just wanted to do a Q and A for you guys because we got literally over a thousand questions submitted to our unplanned podcast Instagram asking us like various questions about pregnancy about baby all that stuff but yeah it's a boy we're super excited how do you how do you feel about that honestly babe oh I feel so

happy. It's so funny like posting this now and like sharing it. It's like we're reliving it in a way, but that was like, what, 15 weeks ago for us? Or what? No, no, 14 weeks ago. We found it in January. January 20th was when we found out. We knew. It's funny even experiencing that as like, I mean, we did call it gender disappointment. But in a way, like, I feel like someone messaged me this and it really resonated with me because she had like the exact same situation. She had two boys. And then she lost a pregnancy of a baby girl. Yeah. And then got pregnant again with a boy.

And she's like, she told me, why she doesn't feel like it's gender disappointment because it's fully attached to the grief of their, like, lost pregnancy. Yeah. And so it's not necessarily like, oh, I really wanted a girl and I didn't get a girl. It's like, it's fully attached to the grief of that specific girl.

Yeah. Which I feel like was around about, like, was a much better way of saying what I was trying to say in our previous episode. But that's the other thing, too. It's like people that have gone through that type of grief, no, and people that don't, like, can only imagine what it feels like. But now at this point, like, what is it, 15 weeks out? Like, I'm just so, it feels so right.

I'm so stoked. Yeah, that's a really good way of describing that. I think it is, it is more grief than it is, like, quote-unquote, gender disappointment. Also, gender disappointment, like, sounds so, like, I don't know, like, maybe selfish. And it's also, it sounds too strong and shallow for what we were feeling. 100%. If that makes sense. Like, for me, it was, it was probably, it was probably like a feeling that lasted for maybe a couple minutes. Because let me tell you how I feel about it. I am very glad that I don't get to choose the gender of my baby. Like I'm very, I'm very, very pleased about that. I want everything to just happen as it's meant to happen. Yeah. Like, I think it's fun that we get to find out and it's a surprise. I don't know where I'm going

with that. But I'm just, I'm just saying like, I'm really glad that I don't get to choose. I don't want to be able to choose. Well, it's, it's funny that we're talking about gender disappointment, because like probably 500 of the 1,000 questions submitted were about gender disappointment. Okay. And it was really sweet. Like people in the comment section on our YouTube video announcing the pregnancy were saying like, hey, it's okay to feel disappointment. It's normal. It's like it's all right.

But then some people were like speculating and then other people were like, no, clearly like you can tell they're happy. Well, I think with any like no matter what happened, people are going to like have, you know, maybe assumptions they make, right? But like, then some people were, you know, like watching the video all the way through. And they're like, no, they're clearly really happy with baby boy, which is the case. Like we're, we are so, so, so, so, so happy. posting a fragment, a vulnerable fragment of your life. Yeah, we open, I mean, we honestly open ourselves up to this.

Like, we're posting our lives on the internet. So, I mean, we have to be okay with people commenting on our lives because that's, that's what we're doing. If we didn't want people commenting, we wouldn't be posting. But what I would say is that, yeah, I would say. say pawn for the reflection, I feel like disappointment isn't even necessarily the right word for it. Like I really just think it was all attached to grief, but now it's just like so, it's just excitement. It's just stoked. It was cool though. I mean like pretty much all the people that asked if we were disappointed also said it's completely understandable. And I don't even think I am though.

I feel like it is just fully like just missing that. You know what I mean? So but yeah, that's nice that people say that. I don't feel that way. I feel stoked. Like, I feel really excited. Yeah. I think for me, part of it was like your parents went through something similar, actually much worse than what we went through. And then they got blessed with you. So it was like, I think your mom, it was a way for her to have a daughter after she lost her daughter. And so I was kind of hoping we'd have the same thing. And we did it. And that's okay. It's interesting though, because like for me, I grew up with two brothers. I'm one of three boys. So now that I get to like go through this, like, like what my parents went through having having three boys. I'm so stoked. I took my my brothers and my dad on a trip.

You already know this, but I think people listening might not know. I took my brothers and my dad on a trip to Universal Studios and this is before the gender reveal, but I had told my parents and I was like, dad, like, can you believe that I get to do this like what you did? I'm going to have three boys and we were just chatting about it and he was telling me about how people would tell him that he would have a golf for some, which is where you have, you know, four guys all playing golf together. People keep telling you have a baseball team and I'm like, how many people on our baseball? No, there's, there's, yeah. Like, or a basketball team or something.

I guess three on three. We got that. What do you mean three on three? Three on three basketball. We got one three on three basketball team. What do you mean? We're going to have three boys. Oh, I see what you're saying.

Do you know what three on three is? I'm including myself in it because like, a golf, a golf, a golf, I have never even heard of what a golf foursome is. Because you have like two golf carts and then it's like a group of people playing golf together. Okay. I'm not a golfer though. Like we, yeah.

I do want to touch on what you said about like my sister like the situation. My parents had a full term stillbirth of a girl before me and then they got pregnant with me. But they were actually told what's interesting about that situation is that they were told that I was a boy. That's wild. For like, like from the anatomy scan to her gross scan. So like for, that's a good amount of time that they were like.

And my mom remembered feeling disappointed because she was like, you know, she thought she was going to, same situation, right? You thought you're going to have a girl. Then you like, ours is a little different because we found out the gender the same, like once we already knew that she had passed. So I don't think we experienced this the same way. And I think that's also why I didn't really feel, quote unquote, gender disappointment the way that most people feel it.

or I can feel it. It's because that news came like simultaneously. But what was I saying? Oh, and so she thought that I was a boy for like several weeks of her pregnancy, but then found out that I was a girl so that in the very back corner of my head, like after the first thing, I was like, it could be a girl. I see one of our, I see what of our boys sneaking in right now. Hey, what's up?

We're working, but we're going to go. to Disneyland in about what you want to sit over here okay you can watch for a couple minutes if you want but then but you have to be really quiet okay oh and press now pretzel's coming into pretzel what's up yikers oh okay you can sit for one minute okay you can sit you can sit for a couple minutes Augie okay got to you got to be super you got to be super quiet okay oh you No, you can't, you can't, you can't, you want to say something in the mic? I want to say something?

What do you want to say? But yeah. So I was going to say, in the very back, back corner of my mind, I was thinking, like, maybe, maybe it still is a girl. And I think that this boy has done nothing but make it abundantly obvious that he is a boy. Yeah. And every, every scan, which we have had so many scans as pregnancy. Like, I don't think people realize the difference between.

like going from, you know, your typical, like, three scans in a pregnancy to, like, we had three scans before we got to the end of the first trimester. We have had so many scans. Yeah. To the point where I literally asked my doctor, I was like, is this a safe? Is this okay? Just cracking me up right now that our boys are in the studio listening into us. Yeah.

Me and Griffin went on a couple dates this past weekend. You guys went on two different dates together, which was a blast. Do no dose. That's right. An ice cream date and a date to a show. Yep. So here's my only fear now. Like, now that we're having a third, I'm like, I know how close our two are right now together. I feel that.

Yeah. It's like they're twins. People ask me all the time if they're twins. I don't want this third kid to get left out. So I'm like, we got to create a buddy for this third kid as quickly as possible. Seriously. Yeah. And we're just going to have to push through.

We're going to have to just like muscle through the tough newborn stage, muscle through, you know, maybe having two under two again. We can't do that. I think that would be, I actually don't even think we're like allowed to do that. Unless we have a V-back. Unless we do the V-back. But that's my only, the only thing I'm thinking about right now is like, we got to make sure this third kid has a buddy.

I know. I know. Because Griffin and Augie are such close buddies. Yeah. Okay. Next question we have is. Wait, what was that question? Did I feel this appointment?

Did I feel this appointment? Yeah. Okay, I mean, like, here's the thing. People are going to weaponize that against me, then so be it. But, like, that's just real and honest and, like, stemming completely from grief. So if people have any, was that, I didn't read the comments. Were they mad at me? Oh, no. Comments are great.

Comments are great. Me getting all defensive for comments. I didn't even read. Okay. Next, we have, what has been the most exciting part of your pregnancy? By far feeling kicks. I could literally cry or no thinking about it. I don't want to cry

Every time it happens You're like come here I know and then that's literally the story of my life Like you have felt a lot of kicks But like he'll do something crazy And then I'll be like feel this And then it's like he literally is in there Just like

He just freezes when I put my hand on your belly Yes I felt quite a few kids Yeah you have I felt a good amount How do you maintain energy While still being a mom up to other kids You dig deep

Yeah There's a reserve beneath exhaustion that you find and once you get past the point where you're like I really want to take a nap once you push past that it gets easier

I'll tell you what your secret power is it's going to the gym yeah I go to the gym also don't stop if you sit down you're screwed that happened yesterday and then I could barely make dinner and it's okay I mean like you drink caffeine it's still okay to have caffeine

you just got to stay under isn't it 200 milligrams yeah everybody might be different you gotta talk to your doctor Everyone has their own opinions on that. Everyone has their own opinions. Know that we're not doctors, but I think. But the medical advice from our doctor is under 200.

And so I do have a half-calf coffee in the morning and usually a diet soda in the afternoon. That's wild. It's so crazy. So crazy that you're doing that. What are your registry must have from overwhelmed first-time mom? This is somebody that has no idea what's even like get on the registry. Okay. Yeah.

Obviously, as a third time, mom, it looks so different. My sweet friends are throwing me a shower, which makes me so happy. And I feel, I honestly, like, why am I like this? Like, I feel guilty that they're throwing me a shower. Wait, why do you feel, yeah, why do you feel guilty? I don't know. I just am like, no one go out of your way from your place, seriously. Anyway, I just think about how blessed we've been.

I'm like, I do not want to ever, like, I don't know, take from anyone. But I just asked, like, I was like, well, first of all, I said, no one get me. literally anything. And then they say put on their diapers and wipes, which I think is very very great. And honestly, that's one of the only things you can really bank on as a first time mom. Yes. Is that you're going to want diapers and wipes because every baby has their own preferences. Some things you think you'll use. You don't know how you're necessarily going to feed your baby X, Y, and Z. What bankies they're going to like. My recommendation is spend the extra money on the good diapers. Don't get the cheapest, you know, lower on the totem pole.

And every baby likes a different diaper. Or needs a different diaper too. Because when we get the cheap, like, target diapers, our babies would poop through those every single time. Like... Are you talking about the store brand? Yeah. Like the great value version or whatever?

It don't do that because then you're going to have, like, so many poop stains in the clothes, constantly taking them out of their outfits. I would say I'm a huge fan of a swaddle, a good swaddle. For when they're tiny, tiny newborns, you really like the Ollie swaddle. And, but this... this baby, we're using the new taking care of baby swaddle, which I'm really excited about because it doesn't have Velcro.

You've like met Kara, right? Like, aren't you? Are you and Kara friends? I feel like I would say I'm friends. I feel like she would maybe say it too. I don't know. Really? I don't know.

But yeah, I did have to refrain from kissing her on the mouth when I first met her. She did. She did. When Griffin was not sleeping at first. Like through 10 months. We were like, what do we do? We did her course. I'm really excited about her new swaddle though because there's no Velcro.

when you're like trying to change them at night they can stay because you know that velcro in the middle night's like like they're waking up it's like jarring it's silent but it gets so tight too though and it's so comfy um so i'm really excited about that one you just need a good swaddle really get a sound machine um sleep tent i mean we're a fan of the sleep tent when they get like a little older so the slumber pod yeah when they're a newborn they don't need that but the slumber pod's great when they get older pack and play because then it's like the lighting is consistent every time they have a nap get a car seat we really recommend dunas we love dunas we're going to be getting a new one because we use the heck out of it um you know what i can talk about baby products forever the slumber pod can be annoying to set up and tear down

but i do think it makes our kids nap longer or it did now like we yeah we've actually grown out of that our youngest doesn't even use the sleep tent anymore we've graduated yeah almost three years old um but i think we are bringing it to Disneyland. Here's what I'm doing differently this baby. I am going to, whenever we do use a bottle, I'm going to use glass bottles. Yeah. Yep. That's good.

Why? Wait, why glass bottle? No plastics. I'm just kidding. I also just think it makes sense if you're warming up something and putting it in plastic. Oh, yeah. You're kind of like on an anti-plastic kick recently. Just a bit.

You watched a documentary about plastics, didn't you? Well, think about you're heating it up in plastic too. I was going to heat up my frozen pee. in the plastic bag and you were like absolutely not put that in a dish I didn't say that I was like just put it in a dish you smacked my you karate shot no I didn't yeah I will do glass bottles I also just feel like they're probably easier to clean like because you can get them hotter and um I don't know I feel like this is a hard thing for me to conceptualize right now is having a newborn what is I we haven't we have done zero prep if that's not obvious already thank you to Wayfair for sponsoring this portion

day's episode. If you guys like our coffee table, guess what? It's from Wayfair. It's definitely a staple inside our house. Wayfair also has incredible outdoor furniture and your outdoor space should feel like you. They have everything from furniture and decor to organization solutions and outdoor essentials. Wayfair makes it easy to find what fits your style and needs that work within your budget. Living in a warm climate, we spend a lot of time outside. Oh yeah. It's really important that we have a comfortable space outside where we can enjoy the sunshine. that is so essential. We should probably look into more pool furniture from Wayfair.

We need some pool chairs. We need like an umbrella. If you're in the same boat as us, definitely consider Wayfair. And Wayfair has everything, whether your vibe is modern, coastal, farmhouse, or eclectic. Wayfair has options to help you create an outdoor space that's uniquely yours. And installation and assembly services are available for a truly seamless experience, which we are such fans of. We are not DIYers.

And if you are in the same boat as us, this. added service at an affordable price is honestly priceless. You can shop with Wayfair verified, aka your shortcut to good stuff. Their team of product specialists vets everything by hand using a 10-point quality inspection so you know you're getting a quality piece no matter your budget. Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home. This is from Amy in the UK. What is the number one thing you do differently the third time around? For me, it's chill the F out. Yeah. Like, it's not that big of a deal, you know? Yeah. Something as simple as your kid, your baby crying, like, wait 60 seconds.

And if they stop crying, like, you don't need to rush it. Like, the second our kid, I remember when you were so anxious as a new mom. Yeah, I'm going to chill the F out this time. You were like, is our kid's going to die? And then like I would sprint like over. I think it took our second to crack me. I was just all and it just like my nervous system was like fried. Like I I was just constantly sprinting.

I think it was me. I was like run. To go sue Griffin. Like every second he made a peep. It's like he might have just going like ah. And it's like oh my gosh. What's that like you know just so just chill in the F out I think is what we've learned. And I and I think you kind of have to like I think it's impossible to be that on edge.

No, you will literally die. Yeah, you will literally die. There's like been funny clips I've seen on the internet of like how parenting looks like when people have like three kids or four kids. Someone could be like screaming in the other room. Well, I also think you have the gift of like past experience. Yeah. So now I feel like we know what different cries sound like.

What are ones that are like alarming? Like we're going to sprint for that. Yes. Even for like our kids now. Like I told Abigail last night at family dinner, I was like, oh no, it's got to be a little louder before we, like, before we go upstairs, like, and intervene. Like, you know, now you have, like, this experience. You're able to distinguish, whereas, like, every sound our kid made, even if it wasn't even a cry, was, like, the most, like, 100% alarm for us, at least,

early on. Like, I'm in a very different place now to introduce a newborn than I was with both of our first two. Just the way that my community looks, like, where we're living, like, all the friendships I have like I have like when we think about it when we had our first none of our friends had babies yeah I didn't have any friends that were moms we had no family out here we had we didn't actually really know anybody out here and so now it just looks so different and I will just never take that lightly like the support and friendships and just yeah we just have roots now and that feels that feels that feels like that has just eliminated so much stress because I honestly feel like a lot of that that anxiety I mean I don't know if it was like diagnosable anxiety but like that that on edge every first

time parents going to feel that to some degree but like you talking about like your nervous system always being activated like that's not going to I don't think that that could possibly be the case this time yeah because of just like circumstances being so different our next question is just when is the kid born well when the kid one person to come would be the best answer, but we're anticipating probably like the first week of August. Yeah. His due date is August 11th. Yep.

And right now we are waiting to hear news from our doctor, but we're probably likely going to have a scheduled C-section, and they do those like the week before. So the first week of August, probably. Any, this is from Camille. She wants to know if you have any insane pregnancy cravings. No, just everything. Like, what do you mean? Just everything? Every food item.

You want to eat at all? I can eat. Yeah. I'm hoping that slows us down. Gosh, dang it. I'm impressed. What are you talking about? I'm impressed. I feel like my hardest time of day.

I get really, really hungry, like, around lunchtime. But where it's really hard is, like, it's really hard to stop eating at the end of the day to, like, call it. Like, I just want to keep eating and eating and eating and eating. You have some, like, really interesting food hacks. for like eating like eating to to be full but then like managing like the health side of it like I've picked up because I'm I was on a cut recently I was trying to cut weight and cut seven pounds and part of that was using abbey's hard-boiled egg method of just having hard-boiled eggs for breakfast that really stems from like having a very big appetite and like also not

wanting to spend a lot of time preparing food I'm like I want to get the things that are going to make me the fullest, the fastest, and keep me fullest the longest. Yes. Yeah. This next one, how is Matt handling mood swings, if any, arise? Okay, okay, okay. I actually want to say this because we did that gender prediction, uh, like fun old wife's tales video, which totally was not meant to mislead people. This is literally, I went exactly as my symptoms. The, but the little caveat here is that I've been pregnant four times and three of them have been boys, one of them as a girl, and I will tell you my symptoms I've been the same every single time, like to a T. Now, I know other people experience differently, but for me, I've had the same

symptoms every time. So you're telling me the wife's tails don't actually work? I don't think so. I think that the only, I mean, in my experience, they haven't, I will say. But our ultrasound tech that has done so many of our scans, I asked her about them. I was like, have you found that any of them are like actually consistent? She was like, first of all, I think the heart rate one is bogus. She's like that there's nothing that could possibly relate to that. But then she's like the only thing I do believe is that if you have heartburn, that your baby will have a lot of hair. Interesting. Because she's like the moms that report the biggest heart, the most heartburn.

I see like the most hair on an ultrasound. Interesting. Which I will say, I feel like our babies haven't really had a lot of hair. I realize they could like see. And I don't. I didn't know they could see hair in the ultrasound. That's crazy. Well, gosh, this week we're doing a whole echo cardiogram for the baby.

Oh my gosh. Friday? Wow. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, I wasn't trying to mislead anyone. Like someone at my gym was like, so what are you having? And I'm so excited. I was like, this is before we had announced.

I was like, having a boy. And she's like, oh, I see what she did there. I was like, no, I wasn't trying to do anything. That's literally the symptoms I've had. But on that video, I said that I was moody. But I actually kind of want to recant that. I feel like I haven't been that moody. Matt's the only one that can be the judge of that, though.

No comment on that. Okay. No, be honest. Seriously, I can take it. No comment. You think I've been moodyer than normal, though? I think you've had to be more resilient because you have two boys. Like, you can't, like, you can't just, like, sit back.

So I think you've just been, like, getting things done for these boys. You can say I've been less moody. You've been resilient, and you've been an inspiration. Thank you, Matt. You inspire me every day, babe. That's how I feel every single day. I tell you all that time, like, thank you for growing my babies. You do, honestly.

No, I will say that I don't feel as emotionally unstable as I have previous pregnancies. But, you know, that's probably therapy when you really think about it, more than hormones or anything. I think the longer we do this stuff, we just get smarter, you know. I do feel more teary, like, than when I wasn't pregnant. Like, I feel like I'm pretty quick to get teary. Oh, yeah. Do you think that? Yes, yes.

I saw a video. Do you pay attention to me? I do pay, you know, yeah, no, you're dead. I'm thinking, like, my brain's on a different planet right now because I'm thinking about Alex and John, who we've had on the podcast before. They posted a video about, like, when it's, when, it was something about, like, when. We just started liking each other a bit. Yeah, yeah.

Like, everyone's asking about baby number two, but we're, but we just start liking each other again. That's funny. I thought that was so funny because it's relatable, you know? Yeah, maybe I'm naive, but I feel like by the third time, you're kind of just like, you already are anticipating certain things. I think when like life is easier, it's just easier to not like bicker and like fight over like the stupidest crap with. Yeah, you're like, that's just how they.

With your loved one, you know. Yeah. So. But I will say, I'm so curious. with baby number three. I've been so interested in this whole birth order thing. And I'm always fed videos now

of like, ever wonder why your third baby is so chill and happy? And it's like because they're a gift for surviving your second. Which I will say our kids quite literally follow birth order pretty like to a T.

Yeah. And I don't mean that in like a condescending stereotypical way but like they just follow those patterns. Like, um, neither of our kids are cautious though so that's why i'm kind of like what about that our first is definitely more cautious than our second so anyway i'm just like so curious because i keep telling

matt that this guy's going to be so chill but also this baby has been extremely active our second is so resilient i mean he can just fall and like i've seen him like actually get hurt before and he just like gets back up and acts like nothing he doesn't say anything he's so tough he just like rubs it. Yeah. And then he moves on. Like our dog could like scratch him. And I'm like, ooh, that's not good. Let's get pretzel away from him. And he's just like, will not. Doesn't come. Like I see other kids that happen to. And they're like, like they just freak out. Like they act like they're dying. And Augie's just like, I'm fine. It's a little, it's a, it's merely a flesh wound.

I know. That's what happened. He had, they both had like scratches. And I was like. Yeah. What do you? Okay. What do you do about this? Because it makes me so upset when our dog does like scratch them or sometimes they'll like play i know we're gonna we're taking her we're getting her trained more but i think it's just part of it like you can't stop she's a puppy she's just trying to play she doesn't mean to hurt them she's never like actually hurt them it's mainly just like a scratch i know but a playful a playful bite which like is basically just like a a glorified scratch but i don't like it though i know um just got to put her outside yeah i also catch preface Licking Augie's face and Augie just busts out laughing.

Oh, they love her. They're fine. Pretzel is like one of Augie's best friends. She's just a puppy. Yeah, she's fun to have around. If your baby could inherit one personality trait from each of you, what would you choose? Okay, well, I'm going to choose the personality trait from you that I would want the baby to I'm going to say your personality.

What does that mean? That's the whole question. You're in part your entire personality. You make these like big, you do these big like, like, Lucille Ball, like facial expressions, and the boys picked that up from you, I think. Like yesterday, Griffin woke up from his nap and he was, he was, yeah, making just like pouty face. I had just done that face. And then he wakes up from his nap and he was, and I was like, I wonder where he gets

from the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. For you, I would like to, I would love for our kids to have like your creativity and your passion. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, I think, I think you are, you're, like, you're like, you're like, you're like, I would love. like very social maybe like you're social you're like you're so much more social than me i don't know i'm social but then like here's my problem is i'm i'm very very social on the front end but then yeah like i'm out of side out of mind baby so like if i'm not like in the same room as you and like seeing

you i kind of just like sometimes i can just forget that you are they always introduce everyone that comes in her house they're like hi this is and they like introduce everybody there's very like friendly. I love that they, I really love that they also will go up to random people and kindly ask if they can pet their dog. I think it's so funny. Griffin does that every time we're at the park and a dog walks by. And then they'll be like, what's their name? He stops everything and goes and asks people what their dog's name is. Ask if he can pet the dog. They love having people over to the house. They tell me every day. They're like, I love having, when I love when people come over, like which people come over very

often. They love it. So I think they are social and I think they are. are going to be very creative and passionate. Augie for sure is very passionate. Thank you to Rocket Money for sponsoring this portion of our podcast. I haven't checked our Rocket Money subscriptions in a couple months, and I know that we have some that we need to cancel. We certainly do. Rocket Money, if you haven't heard of it,

makes it so easy to find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. You can do it all within their app. Gone are the days of using spreadsheets and doing all this meticulous math work. Like Rocket Money just makes it easy for you to see what's coming in, what's going out. And then when you do have those unwanted subscriptions, you can just cancel them. That is so important to us because I feel like just living in 2026, everything is a subscription

and a lot of them just get added on without your knowledge. And so we routinely go into Rocket Money and just seamlessly cancel those ones that we aren't using because they track your subscriptions. And you have the ability, like Matt said, to cancel within the app with just a few taps, saving users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions. You can set budgets and goals, get personalized insights, and regular reports. You also receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances, which I find that super helpful. It's kind of like your personal

financial buddy. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com slash unplanned. That's rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. Rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. Do we have, this is from Sophia. So excited to hear your Halloween costume ideas for three boys. Oh yeah, we should do like an epic Halloween thing. Well, one of them is basically going to be a jelly bean.

Okay, come on. Let's figure out our family costume this year. Yeah, like two months old. We got to figure it out. What are we doing? Minions. We got to figure it out right now. This is literally the last, the most.

What if your skullet overkill? I'm flurb. Isn't it flurb? No, Victor. Victor. Flurb. No. Gosh, I'm forgetting the name.

No, I think it's Scarlet. No, Victor is from the OG movie. Oh, oh, you're talking about her. If our boys were like the... It's not Flurb. It's certainly not Flurb. I swear, I'm looking it up right now. It's not Flirr.

It's the Minions movie with Scarlet Overkill. Minions. And then our kids be Minions? Why am I going to be Scarlet Overkill? I'm right. This is Flurb. Right here. That guy.

Herb. Herb. You. Not flurve, it's herb. That would be funny. If our kids are minions, we have like a little baby newborn minion and your Scarlet Overkill. I feel like to go back to the drawing board.

Or what I wanted to do last year, you would look so hot in this outfit is the, uh, is, is, is black widow. Two months most part of them. And then I'm, you would look so good. And then I would be Captain America. I got to hit the gym a bit more, but I can be Captain America. I just need something I can nurse in. Augie would be Hulk. Griffin could be Spidey.

and then maybe newborn is Ant-Man. Here's the thing. We're going to be exactly whatever our kids want to be. And the problem is, is that they're probably not going to be coordinated themselves. We also did kind of do... Like last year we had Slinky Dog with the Hulk as the tail. That's true.

Let's remember that. Let's remember the type of planning that went into all of our Halloween's past. But, okay, Halloween got inappropriate, though, because Slinky Dog's head fell off, and then it looked, it just looked mildly inappropriate. It just looked like a... Massive weaners, what it looked like.

Matthew. Because there's no, yeah, it was weird. Anyway, so we're just not, here's a thing. Don't expect much from us from Halloween. It's just that you follow other families for that. You don't follow us for that. Everybody, everybody wants to see an aesthetic. We don't, we don't have that.

We don't do that. We just have fun and we go trick-or-treating. And I wish we, trust me, I have mad respect for the families I do. Augie's really been into Iron Man. I guarantee that Augie will be some type of superhero or bad guy. Probably Darth Vader, honestly. And Griffin will probably be, what would he be? He'd be a dinosaur.

We're going to have Darth Vader and a dinosaur and then whatever we want this baby to be. Next up we got, how do you prevent stretch marks? I don't. I mean, I used to rub like this oil stuff. I do rub oil on my belly, but I've also heard that that doesn't help. Like it's not proven. do anything. Yeah, I'm sure you could, here's the thing. If you really want to prevent stretch marks, I think that you could do some serious research and find out what to do for that.

It's just never been something that I really have gotten ahead of. I have them. Yeah. Didn't you look great. Thank you. I have them and they don't bother me. So I don't really like, I do try to moisturize my skin a lot. You know what's crazy is the further you got from your seat. You know, section, the more the scar like faded and faded and faded. Oh, that's different. And then when you got pregnant, yeah, this is switching subjects. But then when you got pregnant, I feel like the line darkened again. Darkened again. Why is that? Do we know? It's the hormones in your skin. Oh. Or not your, it's not the hormones in your skin, but it's your hormones. So like when I got pregnant, no, no, so here's a thing. I had like my stretch marks my purple when I was pregnant. Kind of purple,

like darker, reddish purple. Then when I wasn't pregnant, like the further out I got, the more they would fade to like white and then I got pregnant again and immediately I was like maybe I don't have stretch marks anymore they all stood out again because they got like more purpley again yeah um so yeah I mean I have them I try to just moisturize my skin I use oil on my belly but I just am not I'm not super convinced that they've moved the needle a ton so I'm hesitant to like recommend anything I honestly just think it's something that I'm just like yeah that's gonna happen MBD. This is from Jessica.

Does Matt put the right amount of ice cubes in your drinks now? You do, but I think it's because every single time I button it by saying three scoops. Three scoops. It's now no longer a metric of cubes. It's a metric of scoops because we have a pebble ice maker. Which, by the way. Sometimes you still do four scoops. This might be kind of crazy that I'm saying this, but I've also,

enjoyed regular ice now again. What? I'm really glad you came out of and knocked that. I just, I think someone needs to say it because you use pebble ice enough. It starts to, it loses the, the, whoa. That is such a hot take. Then you got to go back

to the thicker cubes. And the thicker cubes, you know what? They don't melt as fast. You actually even use the regular, you use the freezer. No, but you use the regular ice cubes in your ice coffee in the morning. Because my coffee's so hot, it's going to melt. it so fast. That's what I'm saying because then when I put in... But I want my water warmer than my coffee. But when I put in pebble ice into my ice coffee, the pebbles just melted away. And then it's all

watery and it's watered down. Yeah. You got to, you need, you need differentiation in your ice cubes. Right. There's a different ice cube for every occasion. Matt, what are your honest thoughts about being one of three boys? So I guess this one is for me. You loved that. I did love it. That's the crazy thing is I kind of envisioned what we're having. now for our family before we even had kids. I kind of did too though. Like I before we had kids, I don't know if you could ever find the footage where I'm like I feel like we're going to have all boys. Yeah, why did I and I kind of wanted to have three boys. I thought that because I just like grew up with that. I thought it'd be kind of fun to run it back. And then then I didn't want to run it back

because everything we went through. And then now I'm like, oh, I guess this is kind of sick. We still have our daughter. Yeah. But just not like we wanted to. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. Having three Three boys feels very appropriate for us. Yeah. Except I told you yesterday, I was like, Matt, I feel like I'm kind of girly. So, like, what are we doing here? I know, yeah. You, like, you were saying you do all this fancy stuff like with your hair and your makeup.

Like I'm into girly things. And I'm like, you're really hot too. So I feel like that has to count for something. I do think girl moms are just so much more fashionable and trendy than boy moms. So I'm going to have to just, I'm going to have to outsource some of that. My nieces will help me out. Yeah, what are we going to do? Brielle and Vivian will help me.

Yeah. You know, it really was stuck in my head that like you just keep having this like the same gender and then why did it threw me off that our brother and our sister-in-law that they have one of each. I think you're still processing that. I'm still processing that. I can't believe it. Postpartum question. Have you experienced postpartum rage?

If so, how did you handle it? Um, yeah, probably. I just went crazy. You know, I feel like you have this gift of postpartum with where you have this like brain fog. It's not good, but it is also a gift in a way where you kind of like forget. Like there's this amnesia. Now there's some iconic moments postpartum with specifically our second that brought me to my niece. that haven't exactly worn away yet.

They're pretty fresh. So, yeah, I think we have been very explicit. First of all, when we were preparing for, when we were pregnant with Emerson, we were already very explicit about like, okay, this is what we need postpartum, both of us, but specifically me, like what I need postpartum.

And then now we've continued those same conversations. Like I've been more explicit about like what I need as far as like, oh, I'm going to need like this amount of recovery time. I'm going to need this amount of like, you know, outsourcing this help with the older kids at this point. I need help with the baby in this way. Like just like kind of getting on top of those conversations because I think it's really hard with like your first and your second because they're both big transitions like where like it's pretty different because you, you know, you've never had a baby before. and then you've never had a baby with a toddler. Yeah. And I know that having a baby with two toddlers will be different,

but we have this like, you know, past experience under our belt. It gets a little bit more. Like certain aspects of the second were easier, but certain aspects were way harder, especially because I had a C-section versus a vaginal delivery. And so now we just, now we have a lot more experience to build on in our tool belt. You are.

But to answer that, I feel like, yeah, I definitely had some explosive moments postpartum that I will, always feel a little bit like wow first of all I feel I feel like ashamed of them and second of all I feel like wow how did that even happen I think that I tell people I mean like we have friends right now that are going through postpartum and I just feel bad for them there's not like it's not good for anybody you know no one no one is like I don't know of anybody that's like postpartum is my favorite it's my it's the best I do know people like that are you serious oh okay well the newborn bubble.

Man. What did they do differently? Maybe they had a chill baby. Oh, okay. Yeah. It probably, it does change things when you got like a baby, like a college child.

I feel like the, I do see a common theme of like a fussy or colicky baby. Yeah. Makes for a very different postpartum experience. Yeah. Yes. And like people that we know that have struggled more have a fussy, colicky baby.

Yeah. So, yeah. Your whole range can be, I just keep telling myself we probably couldn't have two call it babies in a row. Yeah. Please never. I hope I never have to stitch this.

And it's like another screaming newborn constantly. That's okay. Okay. No shade or judgment, but how long did it take you to process the miscarriage and try again? That is such a loaded question because I just, I feel like taking to process. to process that's almost insinuating that there's like some type of finish line for this type of thing. And

I definitely tried to front end a lot of like the processing of like that I could early on by just like eliminating all distractions and just like sitting with my thoughts and feelings doing a lot of journaling, a lot of walks, a lot of just quiet and a lot

on my own but then also a lot of like talking with other people and in therapy too. but there's only so much of that you can front end. Like I feel like recently there's been a new wave of like grief that's happened. And like I told you like literally yesterday. I was like I did not expect this to happen right now. And it's not like, yeah, it's not like me getting pregnant was like, okay, I did it. I'm done.

I did the processing. We're ready to move on. It's like I just made peace at the like very early on that this was going to be probably a lifelong grieving process. Now, do I think grieving and processing your emotions are the same thing? I don't know. But I'm kind of putting them as the same in a way. Early on, after losing her, we knew that we wanted to. Yeah.

Like, that was like, our main goal was, like, to have, like, a redemptive pregnancy experience. And, um, that's a good word. But they were like, it was in isolation. It wasn't like this was part of our healing for Emerson. Like, in a way, it does help that. but it wasn't like this was like our big solution because we fully we got pregnant with this baby with our fourth pregnant you know we got pregnant this fourth time fully understanding more than ever that we could lose this pregnancy yeah and that is just a totally different experience you know

but then you still do it i feel like you i mean there's nothing wrong with feeling done like like like being in so much pain that you can't move on after that. But I think redemption was a really good word that you used. It definitely felt redemptive. It felt exciting. I think it wasn't, what wasn't expected for us was the pain not going away, the fear not going away. And I guess that's just something that you got to push. I will not feel like good.

Until baby's here. Until we're holding it. Yeah. Yeah. How many weeks are you? That's another question people are asking. By the time this comes out, I'll be 25, right? Wow, yeah, because tomorrow's 24.

When this comes out, it'll be a week from now. So, yeah, it'll be 25 weeks. That's so close. Oh, my gosh, tomorrow's week of viability. Yeah. 24 weeks. That's amazing. Wait, that's so good.

Yeah, it is good. That must feel awesome. Yes and no. I mean, we had a missed miscarriage. We didn't think anything was wrong. Yeah. But yes, it definitely does. The fact that I can feel movements and start to like gauge that.

That feels really good. Thank you to Blissie for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. People always talk about silk pillowcases, but why? Yeah, they're cooling, but there are so many other benefits for your skin and hair. I switched to a silk pillowcase 18 months ago now. I have seen amazing benefits in my hair and in my skin. The major benefit to me is I don't want to use heat excessively on my hair every day. And I feel like with a silk pillowcase, there's so much less friction.

So it helps my hair keep its style way better, way less frizzed. And Abby has really good hair. Come on. Thank you. Look at how lovely that hair is. And I also feel like with my nighttime skin care, it's not absorbing it like my old pillowcases were. And therefore allowing my skin to receive the benefits of it so much more. And that's exactly why Blissie created a 100% pure mulberry silk pillowcase made of the highest quality 22 ma-may silk materials.

That's a fun word to say. Ma'amé. Exactly. 22, ma'amay. That's how you know it's the good stuff. Their silk pillowcases reduce frizz and breakage in just days. They also help prevent breakouts, reduce fine lines, wrinkles, and sleep creases. Blissie has sold over 3 million silk pillowcases and has been featured in Vogue, Oprah Daily, and Good Morning America, so you know it's good.

And because you are a listener, Blissie is offering 60 nights risk-free plus an additional 30% off when you shop at blissy.com slash unplanned. That's B-L-I-S-Y dot com slash unplanned and use code unplanned to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you. Another question I saw come up a lot is names that we like but won't be using for this baby. We didn't really have any backups. You know what's funny is we had an entire like list. We had like a book of names. Oh, do you have me to read my baby names that we don't even like anymore?

Like for ourselves? Yeah, because like I want to say at one point we liked the name Lily, you know, and that one just like completely. We still like it. You know, completely went away. Lily, where did that come from? I think we liked the name like Oliver. We love that name. And then that name, like, we haven't even talked about that name.

Then there was Emmett. Like, you really liked the name Emmett for the longest time when we were dating. Well, we have our girl name already locked in if we ever have a girl, a second girl. You know what I mean? Whisper to me in a free of this. Ah, yes. But see, even that girl name that you just whispered to me, that was something that you came up with like in the past six months. These are our list of names that we've had since we were in high school.

What? Okay, wait, read them. That's actually so fun. No. Oh, no. Don't read them. Okay, well, one of the names that we like considered. Okay, can I also just say like I'm not, I don't want to offend anybody.

We like all these names still. We're just not using them. Yeah. Quincy. Quincy. That's where you're from. That was an old name. Abby's old, you know, hometown.

Hometown. Quincy. uh, Finley. I still really like that name. I would love the name Finley for a girl. Okay. I hope that we might use that.

We might use that. So I guess we're just giving our names that we might also potentially be using, which is fine because you know what? They're out there. Uh, we didn't come up with them. We once liked the name Emmett a lot. Wait,

why did that change for you? Like you convinced me of loving the name Emmett and then that one just like. Oh, you still like that one? I do. Okay, that one's on the table. It could be, maybe we haven't locked. this name in like we thought. One time we said Luca, but now I feel like maybe not anymore because it's

been used a lot. Luke was not like in. Oh, good news is that Griffin was on our list. Griffin. Griffin is on this list. But no, Griffin, you said the name Griffin like right after you were pregnant for the first time. I liked the name Rad for like boy number three or four, but you didn't like it. Why do I not like that one? Sorry. Which I still a good name. I defended someone that named their kid Rad. We like the name Sloan. Gosh, see, this is stupid. We got in trouble. We, like, guys, there was a clip of our podcast. We were talking about, like, baby names being out of control.

And, like, there were people that got upset. Yeah, I know. So I'm sorry. So why are we doing this again? If we don't like your baby's name. You don't have to like our baby's name. We don't need to tell each other. But I guess you are listening to our podcast.

So you're going to hear us say, if you don't like your baby's name. I know, here's the other thing, too. When people got really mad at us about that. It was about someone that commented on the video that we posted, but it wasn't our comment. Yeah. We also never saw the comment. Yeah. And then it got a lot of likes, not by us.

This is so rabbit holy. But what I was going to say is that a bunch of people retaliated and told us that they hated the name Griffin. I know. And do you know how much that offended me? Zero. Because I like the name. I love the name Griffin.

If you don't like the name Griffin, that's totally fine. Something's wrong with you. No, no, no. That's the opposite of what we're saying. It's not a judgment call on them. It's just like, it's called personal preference. I just think that they're silly for not liking the name Griffin.

I think it's the best name personally. You know what's really ironic is that anyone that has our kids' names, I automatically love them. So like August on Beast games. I was like, I have to root for him because his name is August and I love that name.

Do you want to go through the rest of these really quickly? What's here, baby? Sloan. Sorry, I don't like the name. Okay, dang it. That one's a really good one. Writer, I don't know,

I don't think that one we would use. That could be writer from Paw Patrol is pretty sick. Well, that's also why I was like, maybe you don't use it anymore. I like these two names, but you didn't like them. Ferris, I kind of liked it. Fares Bueller's Day Off, baby.

I know, okay, dang it. Ferris Bueller. Ramsey. Ramsey. Dave Ramsey. You really like the name Fletcher. Let's just name our kid Dave Ramsey, you know. You really like the name Fletcher.

I do love the name Fletcher. I would love to name a boy Fletcher. Honestly, guys, we're this. If it weren't for Abby, you've basically picked out all their kids. You basically picked them out and then I'd just say if I like him or not. You pick some that I was like, eh. I spend more time thinking about it.

You think about the names a lot. But like Fletcher. We put Decker on there. Basically the story of Fletcher is I sat on a, like on a, on a ski lift next to this guy named Fletcher. And we were both snowboarding and we chatted it up. And then at the end of talking, he was like so cool. And I'm like, what's your name, dude? He's like, Fletcher.

And I'm like, I'm named me my son Fletcher. That's so sick. Okay. It's not off the table. Not off the table. Okay. I said Decker. And then this one is the, this next one is our baby's name.

Oh, yeah. So I guess I won't say it. We winner. That's actually, that was a question. that somebody asked, it was, when will you be announcing the name of baby? Probably when the baby's born. When the baby's born. Okay.

Right? I feel like when the baby's born. I have our girl name already if we ever have a girl. Oh, yeah. And she's getting my middle name. Okay. See, now I'm sad that we just said, the name Fletcher because I'm like, I really want to name a kid Fletcher. We can use it.

For this kid? No, we've already, we would throw everyone the F off because we've told all of our friends and family. And our children. And our children. They'd be like, he, his name changed. No, I feel like they would think something else happened, which is bad. Oh, gosh, they would. Yeah.

That was actually, okay, speaking of, speaking of, speaking of death, people were actually asking, I'm trying to find the question, but people were asking about how we've talked to our kids about death. Because with the miscarriage, we told them that that happened. They were probably confused about what happened to Emerson. No, but actually we've continued conversations just randomly. And I feel like they have a really good understanding of what happened for like a kid. But what's sad is the other day, this was like two or three days ago, Griffin goes, he was talking about everything he wanted. And he was saying that he wanted everyone in our family for their bodies to stop.

For their bodies to not stop working. Yeah. Why did you say that again? How did that happen? Well, I mean, it's appropriate for them to know that, like, Like, you know, life isn't forever. And it's like a gift and we have to also take care of ourselves and be safe. Yeah.

But we explained to the kids that when we lost Emerson that like her body stopped working. Yeah. And I also think that like part of the motivation for finding out the gender early this time and like deciding a name really early was because like I feel like we were introducing the kids to her at the time that we were like. telling her that she'd passed. Yeah. And so, yeah, we were talking about the baby, and we call him by name all the time with the kids. And they're like, he was like, I really don't want his body to stop working. I was like, yeah, me too.

I think his body's going to keep working and be really healthy. And he's like, yeah, like Emerson, like her body stopped working and that was sad. Like, he talks to us that way. Like, we talk about her and, like, we miss her, and we'll just always remember her. And it's in my opinion, it's age appropriate for them. But also it does access the full depth of what happened. Do you think Emerson's soul came back with this new baby in any way? That's a question to whom I was asking.

I don't think that. But if that's healing for other people to believe or experience, then that's good. But for me, I don't. I like to think of like when I see a rainbow, it's her saying hi. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah. I guess we'll never know, but it's like I'm going to think about the happy stuff, you know.

Well, here's the thing. Even if you don't believe in it in that way, you can just say like, or it can also just be a good reminder of her. Yeah, rainbows have like a different meaning now. Yeah. They really do. Like, every time I see one, I just texted you pictures of rainbows the other day. Yeah. Do you see those?

Yeah. I thought that rainbow was so pretty. I love when you do that. I really appreciate when you do that. me get you some tissues why don't always cry because you're pregnant and you're a lady

and you've been through some really hard things and you've got every right to feel the way that you need to feel this is this good question it's like so it's like it's like the perfect question right now are you guys doing all right how do you are you doing all right?

Yeah you are doing all right yeah why I feel like there's just like this misconception like you go through something really hard and you're weaker like you're fragile like you're you know

you're broken but like what people don't realize is that people have gone through grief like and like have gone through like tough things are stronger versions of who they were before so I mean

I will say that like I went into this pregnancy fully knowing that we could lose that, this baby, and it's not guaranteed. And I feel stronger because of that. This fear doesn't go away, right? But I know that I can overcome it. Yeah. And so that breeds a new sense of confidence

in a new strength entering new situations. Like you kept telling me like, Abby, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. when I would like tell you with my fears, I was like, no, it could. Yeah. And that's why this is brave. And like saying that felt better than like, it's not going to happen.

It's not going to happen. You know what to be. Yeah. It's always hard to know what to say in those moments. No. And I'm not saying you said anything wrong. Yeah. I'm like, I don't, like, if you're needing comfort for me, I don't want to be like, well, yeah, this.

Like you're, you, like, you're coming to be. Yeah. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. And at some degree. But I also just wanted you to realize, like, if you could just show me a magic ball and actually mean that it's not going to happen, then this would be a lot, this would require no bravery of me.

You know what I mean? Because I would know that I'd have a guaranteed positive outcome. But the fact that I don't have a guaranteed positive outcome and I'm still choosing to do it again is what's brave. Something that's like a thought I've been wrestling with is like there's no guaranteed positive outcome for literally anyone. Yeah. There's no guaranteed possible.

What a positive thought, Matt, how? It was just, it's, but I think that's like what makes it, I think just like life in general. Like it makes you brave. Yeah, we're celebrating the good things. Yeah, to like, to approach life through this like lens of positivity through a lens of just like abundance and, and I don't know. Also just like fully taking every opportunity to live and do things. And yeah, and not spend. your life worrying, not spend your life in misery.

Because it's like you just don't know when your last day is. I could die tomorrow. I have no idea. Wow. You know? So I was talking to a guy who his like aunt or something got cancer and like died super quickly and she had like been been a saver. And he was basically just like telling me to like not work as much.

He was like, don't work as much. Go, go, like, live a little bit more. Go have more fun. You know? Yeah. I feel like we've been living a lot. We live a good life. No, I think we are.

I think we're taking the kids to Disneyland today. We do a lot. And also, I know that it's not for everybody. But, like, I feel like that has been, like, so good through this season of, like, loss and new pregnancy. Like, knowing that life is still moving forward and we're not stuck on what happened in the past. And we're not anticipating.

what's happening in the future so much that we're out of standstill right now. Like having this busy full life, while at times it feels like it's too much, but it's also just like we are living. We are living in the present. And that has just been such a good thing for me right now. Oh, yeah. Okay. I want to say this too because the mom's at, no, no.

I had an anterior placenta with my second. so I didn't feel a ton of kicks early on, but he really surely made up for it by the end of the pregnancy. That man could kick through that placenta like crazy, but I know that's not the case for everyone with an anterior placenta. It's probably just the case for people with an anterior placenta and a crazy baby. But this placenta is not anterior, so it's posterior, so therefore I can feel kicks.

I could feel kicks very early. I felt kicks at 17 weeks, which was just an amazing gift. given our past circumstances with losing a baby at 17 weeks. But now I feel so, so many kicks. And it is just the most, like, it just gives me so much joy. Like I can feel him right now. Like I feel him a lot. And he's a wild, he's a wild man.

He's over a pound. He's ready to go. Thank you to Goodwipes for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Gut health is all the rage these days. but let's talk about butt health. I knew you wanted to say that. It's time to leave that dry, scratchy toilet paper in the past and show that beautiful booty.

The love that it deserves. I can't believe we're saying that. That's hilarious. Oh, wow. Good Wipes has created an actually flushable wipe. It is made with plant-based fibers, so they break down easily. They come in a variety of gentle scents,

such as rose water, shay cocoa, lavender, and botanical bliss, along with fragrance-free for the unsinted lovers. They just launched a collaboration, with another one of your favorite brands, Olipop. Treat your butt as good as your gut. You can only find this new collab at Walmart. What an iconic collaboration

when you really think about it. I love it's awesome. I love good wipes in our household. I think it's a great thing to have, especially with kids. We don't have the most thorough wipers and this definitely helps get the job done clean and safely for our pipes

because we definitely do not want to ruin our plumbing. Grab the new peaches and cream or any other good wipes items at Walmart so you can upgrade your restroom routine and see how it feels to actually be clean by any two packs of Goodwipes at Walmart or Walmart.com. Text them your receipt and get reimbursed almost immediately for one of them. For more details, head to goodwipes.com slash unplanned. Again, that's goodwipes.com slash unplanned to snag a free pack of Goodwipes from Walmart. This question kind of cracks me up. It says, how did you get pregnant after you told God, no,

with your IUD? So if you just get an IUD out, then you can get pregnant again. Can I tell you, I feel like that's a really small view of God. Can you elaborate? Elaborate on that. You think if God really, if a God of the universe really wanted someone to have a baby and they're like, you're having one. It's like, oh, dang it. Bro, what happened to Mary? Come on.

They had it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Dang it. They have an intrauterine device. Oh, no. The intrauterine device is blocking the power. Like, I mean Yeah

The god of the universe is not going to bow to an IUD Be like, dang it She was meant to have one I love what's the saying that like if you're if you're doing natural planning Natural family planning you're planning to have a family naturally Yeah, I think that's true Everyone that I know that's done that has gotten naturally. I will say I don't think I don't see a world where we use birth control again

I We're doing pull and pray this next this next round? I think by the time you've already... Pull and pray is not been effective for us, babe. No, I think we'll do other things. I think we'll do other things. I think we would pursue a more natural option. Okay. All right.

This one is a little unhinged, but I'm just going to like leave a blank where this person said a potty word. It said, do you still blank during pregnancy? Matthew James. And the answer is yes, of course. Why would you not? There's a lot of reasons why you would not. Do you think, okay, do you think, do you think the intimacy is better during pregnancy or be honest? I think that's inappropriate to ask.

You can just say it is. I mean, it's okay. I think it maybe. I think the only challenge with like intimacy during pregnancy is as when you get to the stage where the belly is in the way. Where it becomes a logistical problem. Yeah. Like it kind of limits you to activities. But you still find.

find a way, you know. Where there is a will, there is a way. That is exactly right, baby. And last but not least, oh, can we do two more? This is actually good. It says, I want a third baby, but my husband doesn't. Any advice? That is so tough. What do you do in that situation? I actually have no idea what to say. I don't know. That's a really tough place to be in. Yeah, you can just bully him into saying yes. No, no, no, no, no. I would say just put your... But then if you do that, then he could, then he could, like, resent you.

Have an open and honest conversation about where you're both coming from. Yeah. And then I would say let it rest for some time. Like, you both can sit on each other's, like, thoughts and just, like, let it rest for... I'm talking, like, a couple months. Yeah. And then revisit the conversation and be honest about any changes both of you have come to, because I do think you both should be on board for that.

But I will say, I don't think I usually hear stories of people being like, I regret having this child. Yeah. You know. What's one name? Matt likes that Abby hates. Just say it. You can just say it. I don't think, and I've hated any of your name.

You don't hate any of my names? No. So then why don't we go with Fletcher for this kid? I don't hate it. In fact, I was very open to it, right? It's okay. You'll come up like with a way cooler name for baby for the next baby. You know whenever that happens. I think honestly you're really good at naming our babies. You've named all of the

babies. If anybody needs any name suggestions, just holler at your girl right here. She's an expert baby name generator. You don't even need the baby generator apps. Just talk to Abby Howard. No, I think you have to know your baby and know what's right. I feel like I'm just in tune with our babies. Are we going on a baby moon? Is that happening? I know, man. Who's got the time? I want to go on one so I hate leaving our kids so much. I know, but like, come on. I think I can... We should do like two nights.

Two nights. Somewhere tropical. Okay, plan it. I'll plan it. Okay. I love baby moons. It's so much fun. It is so fun.

I love going to the spa. Just relaxing. Just hanging out together. Reading books. Let's do it. Okay, let's do a baby moon. And then all you can, come on, all you can eat. Oh.

Luxury. Let's go. Blessings. We also have what plans you have in place to manage postpourable part of anxiety and or depression. Something we have said that we're going to do differently this time is have nobody stay with us for X amount of time. I think we said the first month.

Wait, no, this is genius. So this is how, we're dumb guys. And we, we just had like a bazillion people at our house when Abby was freshly postpartum last time. I think that was just like way too much for you. I think we were hosting people. I think it's what I thought I wanted. But weirdly what you wanted was everyone out of.

the house, just you, me, and the newborn. That's it. That's all you wanted. And so this time what we're doing is we're only going to have Abby and me and our newborn and we're sending the boys to be at grandma and grandpa's out of our house. And that way we can just focus on each other. They're not going to be gone. You got to re-say that. Talking about like a couple days. Yeah. For the first few days at home and then we'll see them all day during the days. And then, but just like at night, just me, Matt and the baby to bond and really like intentionally. like get bonded with this baby. And then for the first month,

we're not going to have anyone stay at our house. And that way I can like fully focus on you. Except our family. And your needs and everything that you need. And you can focus on the baby. And so that way everyone's being taken care of. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that will be good because I feel like I thought that that's what I would have wanted both times. And turns out I don't think that's what I actually wanted. So if you had any funny moments this pregnancy anything anything funny Oh yeah I mean just the fact that every time we go get an ultrasound this baby won't Show his head but he'll show his private parts Yeah why do they bring up the privates every time This baby is like is gonna be a funny baby yeah um also just the fact that you know when you're pregnant

There's some funny things that happen with your body yeah It's all natural, but it's funny, like the constant peeing, peeing my pants. That is part of it. Tooting in the car. You've been dropping some bombs in the car. It is smelly. And why don't you just say something? Can you just be like, just red alert?

I just absolutely ripped ass in the car. Like, why don't you just say that? Why have to, like, discover it through my nose? I'm like, did someone die? I like it because sometimes I'm like. want to get away with it and then so I don't say anything but it's always hard yeah you there's no get away with that and it's just funny too just like sometimes just sitting there with this big old belly and just be like oh oh what are we doing well everyone thank you for tuning in for yet another

episode of the unplanned podcast if you have not already subscribed please please subscribe we're trying to get to a million subscribers this year and we need your help. We're going to pick one of the subscribers. One of you, it's going to, like all of you are going to be entered. Like anyone that is a subscriber

will have the opportunity to be picked in the, in the, like, giveaway. We're going to do a giveaway, I think, for one of our subscribers to share. Maybe you're not to know what you're doing. Yeah, we still need to figure out what the giveaway is. Everyone go subscribe right now to the unplanned podcast. But yeah, we're just like,

we're so thankful for you guys. This community is awesome. And it's just, It's been a lot of fun doing this show for three years. The more subscribers we get, the bigger the guests, the cooler the interviews, the better the episodes. So thank you. I hope that you've enjoyed spending time with us today. Yeah.

We love you guys and thankful that you're going along on this journey with us. I know a lot of people that have started listening are also parents that have experienced loss. and are maybe navigating a new pregnancy or have already done that or are like just so many things. So like sometimes they can feel really isolating to just embark on, you know, this new journey or you feel misunderstood in ways or you feel like you're moving. Like I feel like sometimes I'm like the thing is like, oh, you're moving on and then you feel misunderstood. I don't know. All these things like just say like you're not alone in what you're going through. and I hope that this podcast could be a,

it would be an honor to me if this podcast could be a small reminder that like, we're not alone and that maybe you don't know anyone in your small, in-person community, but just like online, like you know someone that has the same experience as you because I get that from you guys. So that's a long-winded way to say, like,

really grateful that we have a safe place to be vulnerable like this and that you're listening. We love you guys. We'll see you in the next episode. Peace out, dudes. Peace out. Soccer fans, your chance to witness history is here.

You can win tickets to the FIFA World Cup 2026 final thanks to Visa. All it takes is a BMO Visa credit card to winner. Sign up and enter at BMO.com slash contest. Contest rules apply.