The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Finding Out The Gender Of Our Rainbow Baby and Telling Our Families Finally

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

This episode is sponsored by Ladder, Cash App, Zoc Doc, and Better Help Ladder: If you have an iPhone, go to https://ladder.fit/UNPLANNED to take a quick quiz and get a free 7-day trial with no credit card required, plus $10 off your first month if you join. Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/kssum24w #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Zoc Doc: Stop putting off those doctor appointments—go to https://zocdoc.com/UNPLANNED to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. Better Help: Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/unplannedpodcast #ad In this episode, Matt and Abby talk all things gender reveals, telling family, and the very real emotions that can come with gender disappointment—especially after experiencing loss. Most of all, they’re celebrating a healthy baby boy and getting so excited to welcome another little guy to the family. Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify / Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Chapters: 06:04 - Life pdate 13:54 - Pelvic rest 19:57 - Disney 24:59 - Empty Nesters 28:50 - Are we RV people? 34:46 - Gender Reveal 35:34 - Finding out the gender 37:40 - Gender disappointment 50:48 - Your gender reveal hot takes 55:10 - Our gender reveal party 01:03:05 - VBAC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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CBC News. Did you feel any gender disappointment Matt Howard? What's the answer do I give right now? The honest one. To be completely 100% honest. I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like a girl-sized hole in my heart. Like I have like an Emerson size one. Like I just like wanted her. Yeah.

Having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that. I've seen videos of where it's like they're about to announce they pop balloons or whatever. And then the mother-in-law pops it with like pink or blue. Like she steals the announcement. Oh, that is whole. Horrible. Right? Should we say what the gender is?

Sure. Three, two, one. It's up. What's up, dudes? Welcome back to unplanned. A show where we talk about our life. Share the hope and the hard. What?

That's not the right show. That's my other podcast. That's always here. That's the new show that we launched. We never made like a cool slogan for Unplanned, you know? I know. It was all unplanned. We actually did kind of a lot of planning for all.

I know. Yeah. But I guess it's kind of part of the fun of it, right? It's kind of crazy that we've gotten to interview the people that we've interviewed. By the way, thank you to everyone that has commented on the Elizabeth Smart episode. That was unreal that we got to sit down with such an inspiring person, someone that's been through literally being kidnapped and held captive for nine months and abused. And, you know, just to hear that she's been able to press on through everything that she's

been through was very inspiring to me. So thank you to, thank you to everyone that commented and shared their stories as well. Yeah, we definitely know that it was a very heavy subject matter. So it really was an honor to give her another outlet to share her story. I think the advocacy work she's doing is super, super important. And like Matt said, the response from you guys was super overwhelming too. A lot of you even felt inclined to share your story as a survivor of any type of harm that was similar to hers, which was really, it just means a lot that our platform is a safe place for you guys.

And actually, did you want to read some of the comments? Yeah, yeah. I mean, here we have a comment right here from Laura. She said, thank you so much for sharing as a fellow survivor. It's always helpful to hear how other people have dealt with forgiveness, with forgiving their perpetrators. I really liked Elizabeth's comment about forgiveness about how forgiveness can almost be self-serving in a way where it's like when you forgive someone, you are like releasing

all this like anger and like just I don't know it's like I've I've felt like times in my life where I just didn't want to forgive someone and then you do forgive them and it makes you feel better and so I kind of liked how she said she has her own definition of forgiveness and crazy that she was able to forgive her her captors I don't know I don't know how she was able to mentally do that but that's just so incredible here's another comment it says that was incredibly intense and such an amazing podcast. I'm currently going through essay abuse counseling myself now after 41 years of hiding it because of shame. I finally am at a place where I'm ready to move on from my past. Elizabeth is such a strong woman. You've inspired me today. It's like so

incredible. It really is. And yeah, getting to talk to her was super surreal. So thank you guys for your response on that. If you haven't already listened to the episode, I really do think that In our conversation, she opened up about things that I had never heard about as someone that had followed her story fairly closely. Yeah. So I do think that there is more value to listen, giving it a listen. Yes. I think you're going to get something out of it that you didn't get out of the documentary that you haven't heard about her story before. And if you guys didn't know this, the more subscribers that we get on our unplanned podcast YouTube channel, the bigger the guests are that we can bring on to the show.

I mean, as you've seen, we've had some really incredible opportunities. I'm hoping we can continue to bring on big guess for you guys. And one of the goals we have this year is to hit a million followers or hit a million subscribers on unplanned. So if you have not subscribed, please, please, please take two seconds just to tap the subscribe button. And it's actually the majority of you guys that want that listen. Don't actually subscribe.

So if you could just take two seconds, subscribe, it's really easy. It's free. It's a free way that you can support the show. And yeah, and then you'll also get recommended. our stuff hopefully more frequently so you can see the cool guests that we've that that we'll bring on in the future yeah thank you guys so much for watching and sharing and let us always know what you want to hear from us next like who you want to see us talk with have conversations with we really appreciate your feedback also let us know what we should do like i think we should do a

giveaway for a million subscribers so if we hit it this year in 2026 we will definitely do a giveaway let us know if you think it should be like a dollar amount should it be a try trip. I mean, if you have any idea, if you have any ideas, put them in the comments. I mean, another thing too, right? Like, maybe it's, maybe it's like a, I don't know, let's just say it's like a thousand dollar giveaway. Do you guys want that to be a thousand dollars to five different people or would you rather it be like one person wins $5,000? I don't know. I don't know what the giveaway is. I'm just throwing out numbers and ideas. The more the merrier. But you think it should be like split up between five people. Yeah. Because then you have a higher chance of getting it.

So I don't know. Let us know the comments what you think this. giveaway prize should be, but we want to like give back to you guys and thank you for the support you've given us for the show. So yeah. Yeah. PSA, I, my voice hasn't changed because of pregnancy. I think some people thought that. I think we've just gotten all the winter sickness in the spring. What is up with that? So Abby and I both, not not last night, but the night before, just started getting so sick. And I think it's her toddlers that are getting a sick right now. So poor Abby is like really congested, sore throat. She's been coughing. I've been sneezing a lot. I've been peeing my pants, like freaking crazy.

Well, that's pregnancy. Having a cough when you're pregnant is, should be illegal. I'm sorry, that stinks. And what's weird is I only pee myself in the second trimester. You would think that the bigger you are, the more pressure you'd have on your bladder, but that's not the case for me. Where was the most uncomfortable place you've peed your pants? I mean, anytime it's been in public, for sure.

Has it happened more than once in public? Yeah, like a trickle. Like, will you see it like on the ground if you've peed your pants? That one time at the coffee shop. in L.A. At the coffee. Wait, that's right. I was wearing a dress.

Bad move. Don't wear dresses. Wait, that's right. Was that when we were touring the Fox lot? Yeah. Yes.

I forgot about that. So it's like funny but it's also like so annoying. Like today I was doing jumping jacks at the gym and I was like, oh man,

here we go. Anything where my legs are spread and I'm jumping it's not like a good idea. Did you pee at the gym? Probably like a little trickle. Yeah. But it did it go like on the gym floor?

No, no, no. That would have been crazy. Okay. Really crazy. Where was where where where where where have you peed your pants before? Why are you asking so many questions? I don't know. I just I feel like pink I feel like ping your pants is something that like pregnant at home pretty unique to like pregnancy women like women that are pregnant and then like kids probably you know. Yeah I pee my pants more than our kids for sure. Yeah. Well I guess not the one in divers. Do they make any products for women that are pregnant? Yes it's called incontinence and that's literally what it is. Yeah. I mean I'll probably have it when I'm I'm elderly as well. Oh, so it's really made for elderly people. I mean, heck, if I'm already at this point, I think I'm in the minority with the peeing

my pants thing. But you know what? I'm just going to be here for anyone that is also in the same position as me. It's humbling. Like literally last night when I start coughing more at night when I had changed my underwear like four times. I was like, okay, get me a pad. I felt so bad for you.

I was so frustrated. We finally laid out. I'm like, brick. Oh, yeah, to watch our show last night. Sneezing. Yeah. Can never be safe. But I have confidence that once we get to the.

the third trimester, I'm not going to have this as much. Speaking of paying your pants in the gym, you're back in the gym. How does it feel to be back at the gym? So good. How many workouts have you done now since you got the approval to be back in the gym? Every day since I've been approved. So is that four, five? Friday, Saturday, Sunday was a break. No, I went Thursday after I got approved. Oh my gosh. You did, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. You've done five workouts now. Tuesday. Thursday. Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Thursday. Six. Oh my gosh.

That's a lot. Wait, no, that's, honey, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday. That's five. I did Sunday. I went on a two and a half mile run. I'm counting that, okay? I'm counting that. You're right.

You're right. That does count. Thank you. A run is a workout. That was the hardest by far. I thought that you usually. The run was so hard. Yeah.

What was it like to run two and a half miles while pregnant? Not good. I had so much confidence. And then as soon as I started, I was like, oh, wow. I feel heavy. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like to run.

I mean, I'm trying to get better at it. I run from time to time. Did you enjoy any part of that? Yeah, yeah. I feel proud of myself, but I mean, no, I'm not going to do that. Maybe when our kids are in middle school and high school, I'll be a runner. Okay. Okay.

Not my season. Yeah. Not my season. I feel like I would rather, I mean, I enjoy running if I have, like, cool stuff to look at, you know? Like if I'm like I could do like a trail run in the mountains. I think I could enjoy that. Okay. Well, that feels like a lot of elevation change. Yeah, I don't want that. Makes it very flat. You want it to be very flat? You want it to be flat? Yeah, of course. Why flat? Are you kidding me? But like it makes it boring. It makes it way harder. No, I actually my friend that was running or what do you mean? That was such a weird question. Why flat? I mean, I don't know. It's just like it's just like it's like you're on a track and you're just seeing the same thing. Oh. over again. I think you could find a place that scenic that is also flat. Thank you to Ladder for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

Guys, if I'm honest with you, coming up with the workout routine is not easy. I've struggled with doing that myself. And that's why I'm a huge, huge proponent of using Ladder because they have a workout plan with an expert coach that can be done from anywhere. So you can just go on your phone, have this expert, like, walk you through your workout, have a video of like every single motion you're doing to make sure you're doing the form properly. And if you haven't heard of ladder, ladder is an expert strength training plan. It's real, progressive programming design by certified coaches.

You get a new plan each week that builds on the last. And there is an in-ear coach that guides you through every set with cues, form reminders, and motivation. The app also remembers your weights, reps, and sets. So you can see yourself getting stronger over time. And I think that accountability is really strong and important. Oh, 100%. Because even I forget, I'm like, wait, what did I do last time? And it's hard to make progress if you're not pushing on what you've already built.

And so that's great that ladder has that built in. Remove the guesswork with ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned just for you. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit slash unplanned and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use our link and get a free seven-day trial with no credit card. And $10 off your first month if you just. join. But yes, a big development that we, I think you guys already know this if you watch Abby's Instagram or pay attention to short form content is Abby is off pelvic rest. Yes, let's first of

explain that for those of you that don't know. Yeah, pelvic rest is something that women have to do, which is, you know, no working out, no intimacy, no sex, nothing like that for however long the doctor says. Well, most people get put on pelvic rest by a doctor if they have placenta previa. which means the placenta is covering your cervix. Which you didn't have. I didn't have that. I think our doctor was just being extra conservative. The placenta was 1.62 centimeters from my cervix,

and he said he'd like to see it over two centimeters. Oh my gosh. I didn't even realize we were talking about literally like point two. Tiny amount. We were talking about 0.28 centimeters. I know. And I actually was kind of confused because like odds are I'm going to have another C-section. And I think this is more of a concern if you're planning on having

a vaginal delivery because you don't want that to come out first. Wait, so then I'm confused. Why is that, why was that a problem? I think there's other risks associated with it being on the cervix, but yeah. And I also think they're just being extra cautious. So you certainly appreciate, especially given our circumstances. I mean, we, we did what the doctor said, but yeah, we didn't have sex for literally a month, you guys, which is for us, it was hard. It was very hard. I literally, you know what's funny, guys? This is what's hilarious. I was hanging out with my, my guy friends. We like all got together, because our wives schedule like wife hangouts all the time and we're like hey we should have a guy hang out we should have a dad hang out let's all play pickleball and so we did we like all hung out and we were just chit-chatting it up and i was like cracking a joke about how like you know just i don't know just between guys just joking about and our whole podcast audience now i guess you guys are hearing this now whatever but just about how like active abby and i are in the bedroom

next day next day literally doctor goes yes you guys have to take a break from that for a month and i'm like no I'm like, why? This is crazy. And I said, oh, oh. Yeah. Yeah. So that was, that was funny. I think, I think my, I think my friends thought that was funny for me too.

That's good. So. I'm glad everyone else thought it was funny. Did you think it was funny? No, I didn't think it was funny. Well, okay, be honest, though, what was worse? Of, like, of, like, of, of what you had, oh, actually, I think you're going to say working out. At the beginning, I was working out, and then at the end, it was.

My dreams started being crazy. You looked it, can we say this? You looked it up because, because like you know how, and I experienced this when Abby and I were dating. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't go there. That has to stop. I know exactly where we're going and it has to stop. Too far. Okay.

Let's just. What's an appropriate way of explaining what it is? There's none. You can't. There's none. There's none. Never mind. We're good.

We're good. None. We're good. Just think about. You just peed your pants right there. I am so sorry. Do you need to go to the bathroom? No, I'm staying right here.

You good? The next guess that comes and sits on this couch. They'd be like, this is where Abby beat herself. No, it didn't go all the through, guys, just trickle. Anyway, but we're going to pause Matt's thought there. Let your mind fill in whatever gaps you wanted to do. We're off pelvic rest. It's fine.

Everything's good. Actually, the placentalus had moved a lot, which actually surprised me because I was like, how is this actually even going to help? The ultrasound tech was, or so at our follow-up appointment, and the ultrasound attack put the sonogram on and she could tell right away that it had moved and they were kind enough they saved us like the large doctor fee yeah they just like kept us in that room and didn't have us to go in the doctor room and they're like it must have moved like considerably higher part of me wonders if one of them like somehow came across

a clip of us talking about how expensive medical care is in the united states no i don't think they care they're like no big deal yeah but i thought i was yeah anyway we're cleared everything Everything's fine and the baby's looking good. So that's really the thing that matters the very most. So thankful that baby's happy, healthy. At the time of recording this, Abby is 23 weeks pregnant. Next week, by the time you guys are watching this, it'll be, we'll be at 24 weeks, which is the week of viability, which is so incredible.

Because I guess like if women ever go into like preterm labor or anything like that, the baby's good, right? Or they have to take the baby out for some reason. Yeah. Which is just crazy. you that like a 24 week old baby can live outside the womb not wild a lot of help but yeah i mean it's not it's not ideal for the baby right it's wild that our technology is like advanced that much have you ever seen a baby that's 24 weeks outside of the womb like because uh when we got the scan

last time they were telling us uh our babies over a pound yeah yeah um no my friend had a baby at 28 weeks that's early that's really early and then i guess you're just in and out of the niqu you for what three months? I think it was a few months yeah remember when we had Haley Hess and Mitch Hesse on our podcast they said that their NICU bill was seven million dollars I'm having triplets crazy right it's insane how do you feel about traveling to Hawaii next month we're going we're going back to Hawaii how are you feeling about that with excited I feel like that'll be really good for our family like yeah have just like some time away to kind of just enjoy and slow down a little bit Our boys are obsessed with waves.

Like I've been going in the wave pool with Griffin at the Revel Surf Park, which is in Arizona. It's like a surf, like a surf, a local surf place. It's the only place you can surf in Arizona is Rebel Surf Park. And Griffin loves going in the waves with me and just like letting the waves hit us and just like jumping into them and playing in them. He's, he's been obsessed. I'm excited to go in the actual ocean with him. Yes. It'll be so fun.

We're kind of doing a couple different things in one stay, staying at a resort and then staying at a house. And I think we'll kind of get like a good experience out of it. Are we dumb? Are we dumb for not just like either staying at only a resort or only staying at the house? I mean, if we only stay at the resort, it would be very expensive. True. But then when you have to pack up your stuff and move it. I think one time is fine.

That does suck. But yeah, one time isn't a big deal. We actually did that the last time we went to Hawaii as well. We packed. We stayed on Airbnb. Yeah, we think about next week. When we at Disney, we're going to pack up every single day. But I thought for Disneyland, I thought the reason why we went.

I thought they like move your luggage for you between. We're hoping. Yeah, you're right. Dang, are we dumb for doing that? Yeah. That's so dumb. Should we talk about why we're doing that? Yeah.

Okay, so I had this idea, guys, to stay at every Disneyland resort that there is. There's only three of them. There's not a ton. I've seen like a lot of YouTubers do videos about staying at every single Disney World resort. Which is crazy because how many Disney World? ones are there. Maybe if people enjoy this video and we're able to like re- That be so fun. Somehow recoup our investment, we'll make another one. But yeah, guys, like there's, I've seen a lot of YouTubers make that video and it's like, let's do, let's, let's do

Disneyland. Let's do the three Disneyland hotels. Yeah. They do? Nice. They move it for you? Yes. So we just pack it up and put it in our suitcases and then they'll just move it between the resorts. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. That's awesome, actually. That's so nice. And then it'll just be in our room for us when we get back from the parks. You probably have to get it from the bell service at the other. So this is one of those YouTube videos that I'm so excited to film, you guys,

because it's just, I think it'll be fun. Like staying at, yeah, every single Disneyland hotel. And walk me through the different hotels there are, Abby. So, first of all, okay, the different hotels. There's Pixar Place, which is like their newest one. And there's the classic Disneyland Hotel. And then there's the Grand Californian. Which the Grand Californian is the nicest one by far.

It's like within the park itself. It's basically in the park. It is in the park. That's crazy. So we're doing this trip for many reasons. First of all, we love Disney. Second of all, our kids have birthdays close to the baby's due date. And so we're going to kind of need to be a little proactive about celebrating them in advance.

And they always want to go to Disney. They talk about it like every single night. when they're sad, we're like, just think about Disney. Yeah. And it makes them happy. I love how casually they ask us about going to Disney. Yeah, they're like, can we just go to Goofy's Kitchen right now? I'm like, we're out of state, but no big deal.

Yeah. That's when we had to explain to them how like money works and how we have to work to make money and we can't just like go to Disneyland all the time. We have magic key passes, which is basically like their, like their annual membership to Disneyland. but we have like a tier that's like lower. Yeah. Like one of the lowest actually. So we have like a ton of blackout dates including, which we did not know this all of summer.

The entire summer. So who would have thunk it? So we can't go like all of summer. And so we're like, okay, well, we obviously can't go in August because we're having a baby then. And we're probably not going to want to go in September because we're going to have a baby then. So if we want to use our like magic key pass, we need to go now. And so we just like last minute booked this trip. And then we'd always kind of been sitting on this YouTube video idea of trying out all the resorts.

And we kind of combined everything to this trip. We're celebrating both the boys. They'll still have birthday parties. But like this will be like their birthday Disney trip. Yeah. And we're also filming this video of trying out all the resorts, which I think the kids will be, think it's so fun. Because we don't usually stay on Disney property. Yeah.

We usually stay off property just because you save a lot of money. They get a cash shop for sponsoring this portion of. of today's episode. What if the card that you spend your money on had discounts and rewards for the places that you spend the most on? For me, that would be travel. I love to travel. We do spend a good amount on travel because we like experiences over things. Flights and hotels and yeah. It adds up. It really does add up. And cash app just released a new status program for the way that people actually spend called cash app green. It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded and easily grow or manage your money on your terms. Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with the cash app card or cash app pay, you earn

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Cash app is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC. Cash App Green, overdraft coverage, borrow, cashback offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc brand. Visit cash.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. But here's a deal, babe. When we stay at the hotel, we usually stay at for Disneyland.

We get like a two bedroom. We get like a two bedrooms so the boys have their own room. We have our own room. What do we do? So we're all going to be in one room. Yeah, we're all sharing a room. Dang. Yeah, which is so funny because Augie wakes up about two hours earlier than Griffin.

We'll just have to go to bed when our kids get to bed. And there's no way they're going to be able to nap because we're going to not have a room available because if we're switching every single day, our check-in won't be until after their nap time every day. And we'll have to check out at the other place before then. So we're just kind of a sleepy trip. We're going to have to go hard. We're going to have to, we'll probably have to like go back to go to bed.

Go hard and go home. Yeah, we should probably like skip nap time, but then put them to bed. We don't have an option. Around like 7.30 because they're going to be absolutely tired. Okay, maybe leave the parks at 7.30. But that's also so lame. We'll never get to see the world of color. How late do you want to stay?

The light parade. How late do we have to stay for World of Color? Is that like an 8 o'clock show? I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Yeah. But it should be really fun.

I feel like it hasn't really sunk in for us that that's like literally happening. Yeah. We'll be in Disney at the day. time next week wait that's crazy by the time you guys are watching this video will be in disney oh my gosh i know that is so cool i'm excited for that it is so fun i can't believe that we'll be celebrating a four-year-old and a three-year-old that trip gosh that makes me feel old that we have kids that old that's crazy how do you feel about the fact that we're going to be empty nesters before we're 50 probably unless we have a surprise gift

that we stop at having four kids because I feel like that's like that's the number right now that we have in mind, I would say. That means that our last baby would be born when we're both 30 and then the baby the kid would be out of the house when we're 48, right? Yeah, 30 plus 18 is 48. So gosh, yeah, we won't even be 50 yet and we'll have no kids in the house. I think my vote would be just to move back to Hawaii, honestly. I mean I knew that would be. I think I would just go surf every single day. I think that's what I would do. What do you think you would do with all your time with not having kids?

Would you just like cook? Would you just like open up a soup kitchen and cook for people? Like I feel like your love language is like baking and cooking. Like maybe you would just, maybe you could just like open up your own little like Abby soup kitchen and you can just like feed people in need. Yeah. I can help you too when I'm not surfing, you know. I don't know. I don't know.

I know how to run a business though. Maybe I could help run. the volunteers or something. I don't know. Yeah. That would actually be really fun, like one day to have a nonprofit of some sort. Yeah. Like something that we're really passionate about.

I could easily say us to you know. And here's where I go back and forth on like the nonprofit thing because like it'd be fun to start our own. But then there's also so many nonprofits that already exist. We could partner with. That we could partner with or donate to because they're art. They've already figured out the logistics of like helping people and they just need money to help pay the expenses.

So I don't know But I do see the joy in having your own Where it's like it's like your baby And you're so excited to like help people Yeah for sure Yeah I mean what do you honestly see us doing When we're 50 years old

And we have no kids in the house I'm sure I will just follow my kids around Wherever they decide to set roots Do you think we wouldn't Start going into mom Mother-in-law mode Yeah Just help with the babies

Hopefully grandma bowed pretty quickly too yeah do you think what's so excited i've already come up with you i'm lolly your pop oh my god lolly and pop yeah so 23 years from now griffin will be uh 26 we already had a baby when we were 26 we had two so i'm 20 we're both 27 right now so yeah i mean maybe maybe when griffin is 26 maybe he's already going to have a kid you know you never know maybe he won't even want to have kids no he always talks about it really that's right yeah he does he's only three So we're not going to hold them to that, but I would love that. And I feel like I'll just be hanging out with my friends, like planning parties, volunteering.

I might take up some hobbies. I feel like when I'm older, I might golf or something. You would golf? Probably pickleball. I could see us being pickleball partners. Whatever is on trend at that point. I could see us also playing tennis. I'm going to have a book club.

I might start a library. People are sleeping on tennis now. Now that everyone plays pickleball, if you look at like pickleball courts, the pickleball side is always packed. and the tennis courts are just wide open. Okay, let's do tennis. So I thought about getting into tennis because I think it takes more physical skill, right? For sure, you get to run more. Yeah, you got to run a lot for tennis.

Okay. I think that's like a good workout. Maybe I'll take up tennis. I might actually be a fitness group fitness instructor. I could see you doing that. That would be fun for me. Or maybe I'll just start working at a coffee stand so I can just chat it up and make coffee. There's a lot of things I could do at the time.

I think finding stuff to do in our spare time is not going to be a problem. Yeah, I'll just be throwing gatherings. Yeah. I think the bigger question I want to ask is like, what are we going to do as a family for the next 20 years, like with all these kids? Because I've got all these big ideas for travel. Like I think I think we could probably try out like doing some RV trips like renting a big old honking RV and like going to national parks. Are we those people though when you really think about it? I think we are. I think I am. I need a good shower. Well, I think the RV has a good shower, babe. I think we could shower. in the RV. We could literally poop in our RV. See that? I don't know. I mean, I give it a shot. Because I think like logistically, then you don't have to like get all your stuff out of the vehicle and then like your home is on wheels so you can take it like from National Park to National Park. And there's different like campsites that you have hook up stuff up your water to. With traveling like that, I feel like you spend your whole time trying to survive that you can't really just like have fun. Okay. I also do see the,

like if you have to go empty out your toilet, then it's like, think. about what you could have done with your time. I will say if you run the numbers, it can actually be cheaper just to stay at a like a budget hotel than it is to, you know, rent or buy an RV. Because RVs are really expensive. So I could see that. But I do, I want to be like an outdoors family, you know. Okay. Yeah. Me too. I don't want to be the family that's like on screens all the time. And then comes, well, we're not. Yeah. I know, but like that I think it's like easy to slip into that trap. And so I want to like be the family that just goes on hikes and adventures and, you know, we can even be the family maybe one day we get a boat like I know boats are a ton of work but maybe one day maybe one day

when we have like a bunch of preteens and in teenagers and stuff maybe it would make sense for us to have a boat that's true that is easier then you don't have to you don't have to take care of the boat yeah seriously we don't know the first thing about taking care of the boat I've heard what even is a ballast well you know my uncle used to have a boat and then they sold it after a while because it just I think they had a lot of problems and then there's a lot of maintenance and then they had to keep moving it whenever they moved. And yeah. So I don't know.

I have heard, though, that... I didn't go on a boat until I was in college. That's right. That's right. And we went tubing together in college. Yeah, and I loved it. But... We need to take you tubing again.

My family wasn't a lake family. Yeah, why wasn't your family a lake family? I think they're afraid of it. Why are they so afraid of the lake? Because they only go to Disney. Yeah, your family only... That is weird. Your parents are Disney adults.

They're like... Your mom is the definition of a Disney adult. She's got all the popcorn buckets. I love that. She has for many ears. I hope to have that same confidence one day. She just like buys things that are Disney just because it's Disney. Yeah.

Why do you think I'm the way that I am? Because, yeah, because of your mom. Right. You're just like your mother. Really? I'm just kidding. I think I'm more like my dad sometimes. I would say you're an even mix.

I think I'm an even mix of my parents too. Yeah, I think so. I'm weird, you know, so. You didn't have to make it negative, but you did. I was like teasing you. I was trying to make you laugh there when I said you were just like your mother. I know. I know.

It wasn't like the funniest joke. You always say I'm just like my grandma. That is actually true. Yes. That's true. I think you're the only person that said that. Addie, do you think I'm like my grandma? No, I don't really.

She doesn't think I'm like my grandma. I think it's like, well, Abby's grandma has like so many friends. Like she's like the, she's like the social girlie in, in her community. I feel like that's you. Thank you to Zoc Doc for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Raise your hand if you've been putting off a doctor's visit or a dental cleaning or an annual checkup. I feel like that's a lot of us. I actually need to go today. Yeah. I actually, I just rescheduled my dental cleaning because I have a busy schedule, which is exactly why like Zock talk was created because guys, we're busy. It's hard to like fit appointments in. And that's

why I like doing my doctor's appointments through Zoc Doc. If you haven't heard of Zoc Doc, It's a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in-network doctors so you can find someone you love. We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states. Whether you're looking for dermatology, dentistry, primary care, eye care, or any one of the other 200-plus specialties offered on Zoc Doc, you can easily search by specialty or symptom to build the care team that's right for you.

After I had a concussion, I was able to schedule a same-day appointment with Zocococ to figure out what was going on. And when I was like curious if I had ADHD, I did that all through Zock Dock. And that's actually how I was able to get my diagnosis as well as prescribed my medicine for ADHD. We use ZockDoc, and you should too. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zockdocom slash unplanned to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Z ocdocdoc.com slash unplanned. Thanks Zock.com.com slash unplanned. Thanks Zock doc doc for sponsoring this message. Do you think I'm outgoing? Like you're like a, yeah, you're outgoing. I think so. You're the matchmaker of friends.

you put so many different people together. Thanks. That's just a fact. I was wondering if I'm outgoing in my, I was just wondering if I was outgoing. And I'm like, I don't actually think I am. I think I'm,

this is the thing about my personality that freaks people out. If I don't want to talk, I don't talk. And then it freaks people out when I don't talk. And then people reach out and think there's something wrong with me.

Freaks your parents out. Yeah. I always feel like I need to talk. Yeah. I don't, I don't feel the need to fill silence. I've been trained by John and Teresa to fill the silence.

And the only, time that I'm not going to fill the silence as if I've like known you for a super long time. But if you're someone that like I don't know well, like we we can't have silence. Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable with it. Like it doesn't even cross my mind to fill it. But then people, I know that I'm the weird one because people like text me after. They see me and they're like, hey, was everything okay? You're like you were more quiet than usual. That's really funny. That actually happens to you. Yeah. It happened to me this week. I've never once had someone text me that. Happened me this week. If I don't want to talk, I just don't.

But when I'm in an Uber, you know what I always do. And it doesn't mean that someone. something's wrong. I just don't feel like it. I always talk to the Uber driver when I'm when I'm in an Uber. You stop doing that more though. I okay true a little bit more but even like recently when I was stuck and stranded in LA talked to every single Uber. I know that's how I actually thought that you had your spark back because you started talking to people on planes and ubers again. Oh thanks. Yeah. Do you think I have my spark back? I think you're getting it back. Oh thanks. I don't know. Okay. I think you're getting it back. All right. Thank you babe. I'm not that wasn't that was a compliment. Is it hard for you to talk?

right now because there's like all this congestion and like see I don't even my throat doesn't even hurt it's just all up here I can just feel all this congestion all this like headache going on it does not you're kind of ruining my thing with being sick like I got to just pretend I'm not and just keep going forward oh yeah keep treating it like everything's fine and then you just get over it but then last night I hit a real yeah a real tap out moment yes well you did you did tap out which is okay I said it's my flag I'm done. I just hand, which I like you usually do the mornings with the boys and I usually do bedtime with the boys.

But I like, I think I. I was like, I actually, you're not going to see me. Yeah. I'm gone. Yeah. But hey, you know what? It's fine. Totally.

Should we talk about the gender reveal? I think we should talk about the gender reveal. Should we say what the gender is? Sure. Three, two, one. It's a boy. If you guys did not already know that we're having a boy. We're having a boy.

I think we've been putting out some different videos. I think there's like a gender reveal YouTube video out. If you guys want to go watch that, that was like so much fun. Finding out the gender ourselves, that whole journey was like really exciting. We also threw a gender reveal party for all of our friends, which can we just be honest, babe?

It was just an excuse to throw a party. Of course. It was a really good party too. You did an incredible job throwing the party. It was so funsies. I had a great time. And yeah, like let's go back to the beginning because we found out the gender at 10 weeks.

Yes. We did the early, like, I think it's called the NIPT test. Yeah, earliest we've ever found out. NITP? No, PT. NIPT test, we did like the whole screening, just being high risk. We were recommended. So it was the first time we've done that. And so obviously we were going to find out the gender right away.

We're like, if anyone knows, it's going to be us. 100%. And so the day that we got the results, we sent it to my mom who was like beside herself, like being given this duty. We were at the gym. And there was a glitch with the site that was like, like show like the lab that they sent it to that had the results. There was a glitch and she was going crazy because she was like this close to knowing the gender.

And it wouldn't show it? And it wouldn't show it. It wouldn't show any of the results. And I think at this point, like I was obviously very excited to know the gender, but just so like wrapped up in fear about anything being wrong. Because I also knew that this test was going to reveal everything like basically assessing the risks for the baby having any of these. like genetic problems. And like I think they, I don't think they say that your baby has it,

but they assess like high, moderate, low risk. Yeah. And so I'm like more so worried about that at this point. Very eager to know the gender, of course, but just so wrapped up in fear. And so then my mom, I was like, mom refreshed the site because now I think it's working and she's like,

she texted me after it. She's like, it's working, okay. And then like that day, she's like, oh, I didn't know you were going to find out today. I was like, you don't get to just sit on these results by yourself first. several days. Yeah. And so we went to Hobby Lobby because we couldn't find natural flowers that were blue.

We went on an entire journey to go find blue and pink flowers because the whole idea was for our boys to bring us out the color of flowers that the gender of the baby was. We could find lots of pink flowers. Yeah. And we couldn't find blue ones. We ended up going to Hobby Lobby and we found fake ones. We found fake blue and pink flowers. So cute.

And then the boys, you know, brought us the flowers that. the gender of the baby was. Yeah. Yeah, which was a boy. I feel like this brings up the topic of gender disappointment. Because this is like a hot topic among like this like the new mom community. Yeah.

Pregnancy community. Because there you got one side that's like you should just be grateful and like don't, you're not allowed to feel like that's so crazy. Like just don't blah blah. Don't worry about it. And then you have the other side that's like no like your feelings are valid. You're allowed to like feel disappointment in some way. Did you feel any gender disappointment Matt Howard?

Oh gosh. I'm like, what's the answer do I give right now? The honest one. I've like the honest answer. I mean, I guess to be completely. I don't care. Just be honest. I guess to be completely 100% honest. Yeah. I mean, like we lost our daughter because of the miscarriage. And so I really, I really did want a daughter. So I think at first I was just like, dang it. Like I really, I wanted that more than anything, I wanted that for you because I want you to have like a mini version. of you that you can just like go get your nails done and and and I just like see the sweet bond that you and your mom have and even if if our kid 20 years from now is watching this video back it's like the the fact of the matter is like I'm so excited to have three boys I think that the switch of my brain quickly turned on of like oh my gosh like I am one of three boys this is this is like something that I get to experience just like my dad did and I had this conversation with my dad when I took him to Universal Studios on like a boy straight with me

my brothers like two months ago and we just talked about how fun it how fun it is to have you know your boys and how like maybe I go golfing with our boys and we can like two of us are on one on one golf cart the other two on another golf cart like there's so many fun things that we can do as just guys being dudes I'm excited yeah I would say for me I did feel gender disappointment for about 30 seconds okay um maybe less yeah I think that I've always said, like, I just feel like we're going to have boys. And then sure enough, we had one boy. We had our second boy.

And then, like, I was like, I love the boy life. And then losing our daughter definitely opened up, like, a desire for something that, like, much greater than I'd ever had before. Like, of course, I'd always love to have a daughter. But it was just like, I never really, like, felt an obvious preference. Yeah. Did you feel guilty at all for one of, for, like, feeling disappointed? No, no.

didn't feel guilty. I'm learning to feel my feelings. Just let them be. So I had always pictured having all boys. And then we lost a baby girl. And that kind of opened up a preference in my, like, in my heart for a daughter that I'd never had before. And so then getting pregnant again,

I was kind of like nervously, like, hoping, like, oh, man, I hope we have a daughter. I hope we have a daughter. Yeah. And then this is going to make me cry. but I think the reason I experienced that disappointment for like 30 seconds was because I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like a girl sized hole in my heart like I have like a Emerson sized one like I just like wanted her. Yeah. And so like having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that.

And so I honestly think that this was like sweet grace in a way that like. it's very obvious now that this baby is not ever going to fill that gap. Yeah. This is a totally different baby, totally different pregnancy, which has also been like a sweet reminder too that this is not the same thing. We're not reliving the same thing over and over again. So then I quickly like, I feel like you can even see the video, like the span of like 10, 15 seconds.

I just like, it felt so excited about like this little boy, like just so excited. And I just feel like it makes a lot of sense. with our boy life. Can I have a tissue, please? Like, I could totally see this boy joining our squad and, like, it being, like, just a whole lot of rowdy fun in our house

and, like, it has been. But, honestly, like, that moment, it feels so foreign to me because we have known that we're having a boy for so long now that it's, like, I even kind of forgot that I felt that way, but I do want to acknowledge it for any mom that just, like, does feel the same.

I know some people feel gender disappointment been way stronger than that. I'm almost hesitant to even call it that because it's like... We're so excited. We're so excited and we're so thrilled. And we honestly, relatively, it doesn't matter at all to us, like the gender of this baby. We just wanted to have a baby, regardless of if it was going to be a son or daughter. It's like, it's almost hard for me to even remember being like, oh, I'm kind of like

disappointed by this. But I also want to be honest with myself for myself and for people that also have like experienced that. Mine didn't run super deep. But because I think I just like, I just really would love to add another member to our family, regardless. But now it just is like, boy squad over here. Yeah, boys squad. Literally same exact family dynamic as what I grew up with being the middle child of three brothers.

I know. So funny. Which, guys, I sent Abby a video earlier this week. By the way, thank you for sharing that. Oh, you're welcome. That was very vulnerable of you. And also, I think it's cool. I think it's cool that we're acknowledging that like the slight gender disappointment that we felt because I think it's normal to feel that.

I don't, I think I think I think where it ends though is like. It ended the second we found out. Yeah, yeah. And I think and I think like if you're someone that is having severe gender disappointment to where it like doesn't end, you know, within say 24 hours, maybe that's something you need to go to therapy about and like talk through why you wanted that specific gender so bad. because you don't want, I think it's important that like you love your kids so much. You never want something like that to come between like your ability to love your kid, you know. Well, also I feel like a strong gender disappointment. Maybe I'm wrong.

But in my opinion, really strong gender disappointment is honestly like you putting on all your hopes and dreams for your kid and like mourning all that at once. Like say like for if you're like, okay, a girl is going to be. like my little dancer like ballerina she's going to do everything i did she's going to dress like like me she's going to do her hair like me she's going to her nails something it's like maybe this girl is not going to want to do any of those things that you want it's like you're building this like like whole dream on a stereotype exactly well that's like what i said you could be a baseball player that wants nothing to do with you know what i mean and i sent you a little video i saw of Chris Hemsworth with all of his boys surfing and i'm like that sounds like a block sign me up and i'm like

this is my dream but like i'm not going to force that on our kids if our kids don't want to surf with me. I'm not going to force them to serve with me. I mean, maybe it's like we make our kids try things. It's like, just like we make our kids try foods. I'll be like, okay, you're going to try surfing. If you hate surfing, you don't have to, you don't have to keep surfing. We're not going to make you. But like, I think, I think like it's really important to acknowledge that. And yeah, I am really excited because I can just like visually see like me taking our boys, like all of us together as a group, just going and surfing or going and golfing. I don't even like golf, but I would love to golf with my boys like you know snowboarding trips uh hitting the skate park together doing literally anything

anything together i'm just excited for it oh i'm stoked i'm like we already know all the boy things yeah we got it we got unlocked my and my really good friend had just had her third boy too so we always talk about like anytime we go anywhere yeah we're going to be toading around six boys in total it's a lot of boys therefore we can't go anywhere except each other's houses are apart gosh like where else are we're going to go. We're going to take them to a restaurant? Six little boys to a, no. We'll have to go to a restaurant that has a play, a little play set. They can only be outside, that many boys together. I've actually thought about this. I've thought about starting up some sort of business or coffee shop or restaurant that has like a built-in play set for kids.

There needs to be more like the Joe's Crab Shacks. Yeah, yeah. There's a Joe's Crab Shack in Southern California that has a play set and we love taking her kids to that specific Joe's Crab Shack because they can just play. I know. And we can actually eat our food in peace. They can't sit still. Yeah. But yeah, no, we're totally thrilled.

We've got all the clothes. They are pretty wrecked at this point, though, because our boys go hard. I know. We're going to save some money because we don't have to like buy. Yeah, I think people say that, but here's what they forget is that moms a lot of times want their kids to match. And so then you just end up buying all new things each kid you have. It's just 3x. That starts off as 2x.

They don't have to match all the time. It's hard to have us 3X. Just maybe matching on weekends. You know, if we're going out to a dinner, we're getting family photos, we can get all matching outfits. Oh my gosh. Get matching swimsuits. It's just so easy to add.

Like, if you see a really cute outfit, you're like, okay, I guess we got to get it in every size now. How do you feel about like embracing being a boy mom? I know. Do I seem like a boy mom? You're a boy mom. I guess I do seem like a boy mom. Like, I feel like it's so, I like love it.

How funny is it that like, I'm a dude that did tap dancing and, and, you know, you know, in ballet class and I'm a boy dad. How funny is that? Exactly. There's not like they could, there's no blueprint for what we expect of our kids like for their life. Like they can do they can do their thing. Yeah.

They're so excited too. The boys are so excited. I think the way that we did it, they had no idea really what bringing blue flowers meant. But now that the baby has a name, we talk about him all the time and they like make plans for him all the time. Would they do? Oh my gosh, all the time.

They're like, oh, I'm going to say the name by accident. But yeah, they've been, well, they spoiled the gender to like our entire family before the gender deal. Because they kept referring to the baby's name and it's a male name. So people were like, oh, it's a way. Wait, say that again. Say that again. It's a boy. Well, I think you spoiled it a couple times too.

Yeah. I accidentally said something about being like a boy dad and something about like, I think, I think I might have said something about trying for a girl, which I know I'm not. supposed to say that. I just think it sends the wrong message. I don't mean that. When you say you're trying for a girl, it makes it sound like you're having another kid only in the hopes that you can have a daughter when that's not the case at all. If we if and when we go to add another member to our family. Yeah. Well, can it can it be both though? Like can we be trying for a girl? No. No. It doesn't work that way. Because if you're trying for a girl and then have a boy, then you failed. Was that like and that's like bad like we're supposed to be like whoa we're sad like what I'm just confused

Having a baby should never be classified as a fail I'm confused at this point okay I see what you're saying yeah there's no yeah I did not view this in any way as a fail I'm just saying it doesn't sound right to say it okay yeah never say it ever again this is gonna get it's also not how we view it This is gonna get clipped and then someone's gonna be like wow Matt hates boys or something I don't know anyway No, I think you love boys. I do actually, I do really, I actually really like having boys. I love it. But I really want a girl now. Oh my gosh.

But if it doesn't happen, okay, I take that back. I will be content if we have four boys. You have foot and mouse syndrome. Let's just put that out there. I do. I do. Thank you so much to Better Help for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I know a lot of people are feeling the burden of the inflation in our economy right now.

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Was that a year ago now? Yeah. Wow. I feel like I'm more emotionally intelligent. I feel like I'm a better version of myself to my wife, my kids. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 6 million people globally. BetterHelp does the initial matching work so you can focus on your therapy goals.

They just send you a short questionnaire to help identify your needs and preferences. And their 12 plus years of experience in industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. But if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time. I always think that as a mom, it's a personal duty of mind to show up as the best version of myself for my kids and for my husband and for my family and for my friends. friends and so I think therapy has really helped me access that more. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash unplanned podcast. That's betterh-E-L-P dot com slash unplanned podcast.

I also say things as they jump into my brain and then I like process them after they've already been said. That's why I've recently started trying with you and it never works. Do you want to try that again? I like that. No, you don't like it. What did I say? Oh, you.

Okay. No, you don't. Okay, next up, we, we did a poll on Instagram to see what you guys thought the baby's gender was. And 72% of people said they thought it was a girl. Aw, they're saying so sweet. I know, they're so sweet. I think, like, everyone wanted us to have a girl because of what happened. But it's, which is so sweet.

Like, everybody meant, everybody meant well. And I love that. This baby is, it's just such a. This baby's going to be so loved. Oh, this baby's already so loved. And it's just so, um, Like I said before, it's just a really sweet reminder that this is like a new, a whole new thing going through because a lot of times like, especially early on, I was like, oh my gosh,

I have for reliving this. I can't like a lot of fear around reliving that. We also consulted all of you guys on Instagram. Thank you to everyone that's following unplanned on Instagram, the unplanned podcast on Instagram. We did a little poll about gender reveal hot takes. And the first hot take was mother-in-law's need to meet. make sure they're not stealing the spotlight at the gen reveal. I would agree with that. I've seen

some. Is that a huge phenomenon? So I didn't know that was the thing, but I've seen some like TikToks where like mother-in-laws do steal the spotlight. You're going to have to hold me back. What do you mean? Like do you think at our kids? Now we have three boys. I am the mother-in-law X-3. Oh yeah. So and I'm one that I'm an eager beaver. Oh yeah. But I think. Well, do you know what's happened? Like I've seen videos of where it's like they're about to announce. And then the the it like goes off in the balloons or like they pop balloons or whatever they have like poppers and it's white and then the mother-in-law pops it and does the popper with like pink or blue she's the one they announces like she steals the announcement from from the couple have you heard of that no no that's like

like she's switched the poppers yes to where the mother-in-law was the one that announced and yes oh that is horrible right but like i think i wouldn't i it is almost it is hands down i would literally never even think of doing that i've only saw it's all like two videos like that though. I've only seen intimate gender reveals recently. Have you seen? There's been a resurgence of intimate gender reveals. Yeah, I think every I think every, let's be honest, baby, I think like every influencer got scared of doing a gender reveal that like goes viral for the wrong reason. We did it. We did a big gender reveal. But ours was never like, we didn't go crazy. Like there's people that have done like drone gender reveals where they have like drones showing like the

color in the sky. There's our, our sweet friend Nicole the nomad partnered with a firework company, which she didn't know. They like surprised her. She didn't know how big it was going to be. You guys have probably seen this video. It went viral like two years ago. But our sweet friend Nicole, the firework company that she collabed with, surprised her. And rather than doing like a little pew, like, yay, one firework.

It's a, it's a girl. They did like the most, the most extreme. We'll have to put the video up. It's actually really funny. Consult her first. We'll have to see if it's okay. I don't know. Like, we would have been respectful of her.

She's so sweet. I felt bad that people were not being the nicest in her comments. But like, you know, gender reveals some gender veils have got a little crazy you know they've got a little cuckoo crazy well um and so we just did like some simple as we said the whole no as we said the whole reason that we threw a gender reveal party was literally just a celebration of life a celebration of pregnancy yeah because like it's just another thing to just be grateful for because we were literally planning the gender reveal for emerson yeah when we found out like the horrible news and so like

the fact that we got to that milestone like if i'm totally honest everything thing in me did not want to throw a gender reveal party for so long. In fact, I couldn't plan it until, like, the week before because it just felt like it was not going to happen. Oh, yeah. Like, it just felt like the rug was just about to be slipped out from under me again. And that's what I was saying. Like, it was so nice to also be reminded, because we did know the gender at this point.

Like, hey, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. Like, this is totally different. This is totally different. But even still, like, my friends were so sweet. They're like, let me help. And I just couldn't even let anyone else do it because it just felt like this pipe. dream that we would have this gender reveal.

It just felt like it was never going to come. And so, yes, it is silly to have a party about the sex of your baby. But in, like, the deeper level is that it's like, oh, we're just celebrating that we got to this milestone of like this stage of pregnancy that we never thought would get to. And, like, we get to just celebrate that babies growing. We're here. We know more about this baby. And, like, it just felt like more than ever it was important.

important to celebrate, like, everything that was happening with his pregnancy. Yeah, I just honestly view them as more of an excuse to throw a party. And I find it interesting here because one of the comments that we saw on Instagram was someone saying that they're not even like a thing in Europe. Like in Europe, nobody like throws gender reveals apparently. They're too classy. Which I get it. Like, yeah, Europeans are classy people, but guys, it is fun.

Parties are fun. Got to just, even if it's just like a pink cake, you know, just a little something, little something something you know you get and then you get all your friends and family together i i also just love having parties at our house here i'll get your water bottle for you actually can we explain like a little bit of like what we did at the party yeah so the theme was a baby is brewing i got it off pinterest don't think i'm trying to steal somebody's idea it wasn't original but then we had our favorite local coffee shop light heart coffee come into a coffee stand and they did pink and blue cold foam on top of coffee beverages yeah

And macha and chocolate milk and lemonade. So we got all our bases covered. And so everyone had fun like picking out their color of cold foam and their sprinkles on top. It was really sweet. We had a beautiful balloon display with little coffee beans on it. It said baby is brewing, boy or girl. And we have a lot of LDS friends are what you might know as Mormon. And so our LDS friends don't drink coffee.

We did run out of chocolate milk. And so we had chocolate milk for them, which was I thought was so thoughtful of you to have like the, like the, The coffee. They drank is dry. The coffee cart had chocolate milk, so that was awesome. And we had some pastries from a local bakery called Chunk that they're the sweetest ever. They have been just consistently the best ever to our family. And their pastries were so good.

If you are local, you have got to try them out. And we also had some chicken minis from Chick-fil-A. And then we all just hung out. We didn't do any, like, games or anything. Yeah. But everyone just hung out. It was a beautiful day. So fun.

I hired a turf cleaning company. company to clean our turf before the gender reveal because our turf smells like poop and pee now that we have a dog. It's disgusting. And so they did a good job cleaning the turf. It didn't smell bad. I did I set up all the tables and chairs and you know, I've logged the whole thing. You guys should watch the vlog. It was a fun. Yes, we made lots of videos of the day. I think it'd be fun. Like, I love throwing parties so much. We should start just like making like party prep content. We just like vlog us setting up the party. Everyone can watch like I think it's fun to watch videos two of parties being set up, like to see the change from like nothing to something being done

is cool. And then and then it's just like fun to hang out with our friends. Seriously. It was a really fun great day. Read more of the horror stories. Yeah. Um, if you're not going to be happy for both genders don't have a reveal or a child. That's what the hot take is from this person. I think that. I mean like I could see that. I think I think like some people I could see where someone would have like like don't do it publicly if you're really going to be yeah yeah if you are i agree with that if you are going to be like affected by not getting your boy or getting your girl maybe do a personal reveal before the actual party like you don't want to like you don't want to like you don't want to that that just could make people uncomfortable if you're like ball if you're like bawling at the

gender reveal like it's like it's a boy and you're like i wanted my girl and you're like balling like you don't want to be doing that you know i feel like the videos i've seen are like the dad will have like two perfect little sweet little girls and they do the poppers and it's pink again and then he gets so mad. Yeah, see, like you got to just tell the guy before. Like, process that before the party. Like that guy probably should. Yeah. Maybe go see your therapist before.

That's weird. Maybe schedule a therapy appointment to work through that. That is weird. Yeah. Like to actually be mad? Yeah. Actually, the book I'm reading right now that just happened. It's called The Frozen River.

Yeah. What is the book about? The dad really wanted a boy and he had a thing. third girl. And he's upset. And he was really mad because he needs help. It was also the 1700s. They had they had to make their own help. I don't know. Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. Do you, do you talk about your books on Always Here? Uh, sometimes. Are people? I read a lot of books that nobody knows about too. Do you like the, are you, I got you new books? Is this? It was really sad. The book that I got you was really sad. It's by, it's by the same offer. I gave it five stars. You gave my book five stars.

Yep. It's the same author that wrote, uh, wrote a man. called Ove, right? Is it Ove or Ove? Ovee, I don't know. Ovee. A man called Ovee. I don't know. Another person submitted, this wasn't really a hot take, but she just said that she shot her husband

with paint balls, which that's kind of fun. That's a good way to do it. That is a good way to do it. I mean, like, his backs and turn pink no matter what, so you might need to have like some very colorful. No, you're supposed to wear a white shirt. Oh, yeah. That makes sense.

Yep. I'm dumb. I think I've seen before someone did like water guns. with bluer pink water. That'd be kind of fun. It gets a little crazy at some point. Also, I think this goes without saying, you guys have been so kind and supportive with us

since announcing that we're pregnant with our Rainbow Baby. I think this is our first episode back since our announcement episode. So just like seeing you guys commenting nice things, supportive things in the comments has been just really encouraging. And I think we have like a really cool community here. Like I think you guys are cool. Like Abby,

Abby got to meet a lot of you guys at an event that she did for her Always Here podcast. And I feel like the community for the Always Here podcast is very similar to the unplanned podcast, similar to the Matt and Abby community. And I think the consistent theme I've just seen and the people that we've met is just how you are. You're all so kind and you're also just genuine and nice and like positive people. And that's like the people that I want to surround myself with. And I know that Abby wants to surround herself with too.

So thank you to everyone for just the immense amount of like kindness that you've that you've shown us. Because we we are genuinely so excited for this baby boy. And it's just it's just going to be fun to watch these boys grow up together and roughhouse and wrestle. I think like the more I read about like birth order and learn about like the dynamics between siblings. think like well like correct me if I'm wrong but our game plan right now is to have our fourth as soon as we can after the third just because like having kids close. It'll be a long time. I mean because of the C section it'll be a long time but yeah the closer they are together I think the the closer they can be as like as like friends I feel so bad I feel so bad that you're sick

we'll have two little duos wait but we okay this is a new development that we we we we we learned this Abby like two weeks ago at a pregnancy appointment there's a potential for you to not have a C-section this time I mean probably like less than 1% potential but I thought I thought she acted I thought the doctor acted like it was bigger than that I think it's only because we have switched doctors since our first son's delivery okay so she is she has like sought the hospital records from like our first child's delivery to see how long the shoulder distosia. happened. Yeah.

His shoulders got stuck and I think she would be more inclined to like let me try for a feedback if it was like a shorter amount of time. Yeah. Because she asked us how long he was stuck and I was like, Matt, do you have any clue? Neither of us had any clue. I think we both just like blocked out. But I mean, I know that there was time for other nurses to come in the room. So I'm thinking that's a minimum of 60 seconds, which kind of feels like a long time in the

grand scheme of if you have five minutes you know what i mean yeah so she's sought the record so i'm sure at our next appointment she'll probably give me a better idea i think it also depends too on how the baby's measuring um because it's not like we have massive babies but like definitely bigger than like i think they're like 88 percentile 90 percentile we've had bigger babies but i think from what they measured this this baby boy i don't know if that's totally accurate because the first skin was different So I feel like right now, we won't know really until the growth scan. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think, I think like from what we've seen, our baby's average, like, he's right there at like what's normal, what's good.

So that makes us feel, feel great that there's like no concern there. But, I mean, would you, do you think you would actually go for a V-back? If your doctor gave you the option, would you go for a V-back? If my doctor gave me the option, yes. Why is that? because I don't want to have wait why are you asking me that question I feel like it's kind of obvious

like that's minimal intervention as possible yeah but if a C-section is deemed the safest option I trust my doctor yeah like I'm not one of those people that's like I think that doctors are lying to me like and so um and I do probably feel like I feel a lot of peace with having a scheduled C-section too so I'm like either way

I'm like, I'm not super worried about it and I feel comfortable. I'm excited to meet the baby. I just thought that was cool that she at least like entertained the possibility of a V-back for you because I know that from what we talked about, you would love to do a V-back if it's safe, if the doctor thinks it's safe. And so her at least just presenting that potential opportunity is amazing just because like, yeah, I mean, like the recovery from a C-section sucks. Like you, you experienced that.

It wasn't fun. It wasn't easy. And then there's also- Also just changes our timeline too. Like it also limits the amount of babies you can have. Exactly. And that's why she brought it up because she was like, if you guys are planning on having a lot more kids,

we might need to try to do the V-back if we deem it to be safe because you really, I don't think you can do more. They limit you to four C-sections, right? I mean, they don't. Or three. No, you can keep having them, but your risk increases each time. And that's of uter.

rupture, right? Just not good on your uterus because they're just cutting it open over and over. That's a lot. So, I mean, I feel like we're just, I think that's what the doctor's job is to do is to just basically assess risk. Yeah. And so, um, obviously it changes things if we intend to have a bigger family. But, you know, I would hate for the number of kids in our family to be limited just because of a C-section, if that makes sense.

That totally makes sense. So, especially if it seems like it could be an option. Yeah. That's safe for me and for the baby. So, yeah, I'm really excited to me with this baby. I already feel like I know his whole personality and I already love him so much. Yeah. I always tell Matt, like our baby's personalities.

And I feel like I've been spot on. So I feel like this guy is a little comedian. I feel like he's going to be really funny and chill. How do you even come up with that with him just being in your room? Trust me, I'm right. I know. I'm excited to me. I'm really in tune with him.

That's hilarious. Yeah, I'm so excited to be a boy mom of three. Like, I love that. And you look so cute. I love your dress. You're nice. The outfit today is cute. The bump is bump in.

I love seeing you wear fitted dresses because I like to see the little bump. It's a little flowy. Well, everybody, thank you again for listening in for another episode of Unplanned. If you haven't left us a review on Apple Podcasts, please do that. It takes like literally 30 seconds to write a review. This is one that we got from Wesley 97. It says number one podcast. My wife introduced me to y'all about a year ago. She's been listening since the beginning. And y'all have become my favorite podcasters. Matt, as a fellow husband, dad, an ADHDer. Thank you. I have often found my ADHD as a hindrance or an annoyance, but you've helped me to appreciate it. Thank you so much, Wes. I appreciate that too. I like having ADHD. I know it's like, it's weird. It can be, I know my ADHD can drive my wife crazy sometimes, but it's like, I feel like it just keeps life kind of, exciting, you know? You know, like, I don't know.

My brain is different than other people's and I've just, I've grown to accept it. So shout out to Wes, my fellow ADHD, or thank you to everyone that's left us review. And yeah, hopefully we can get to a million subscribers this year so we can continue to bring on cool guests to interview and have conversations with. So again, you guys, we are so, so grateful for this baby boy. And thank you guys for following along for all the support. for all the kind of words. We'll see you in the next episode.

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