The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Honest Postpartum Q&A: The Roommate Stage & Baby #4

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

One month postpartum and we’re answering your questions! We’re talking recovery, breastfeeding, adjusting to life with three kids, marriage in the newborn stage, navigating life after loss, and the question everyone keeps asking… are we having baby #4? Mascara Restock!: biswell-beauty.com Betterhelp: Visit https://betterhelp.com/unplannedpodcast #ad Upwork: Visit https://upwork.com right now and post your job for free to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. Yoto: Head to https://yotoplay.com and use code UNPLANNED to save 10% off all eligible items. Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify/ Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Chapters: 01:24 - Life Update 05:44 - Medical bill for miscarriage 08:08 - Parents visit 11:07 - Auggie's Birthday Party 15:26 - Q&A 15:29 - Is Fischer a chill dude? 17:07 - How'd you come up with the name? 18:49 - Transition to 3 boys 22:09 - Adjustment for older boys? 25:02 - Sleep deprivation 26:33 - Compare postpartum experiences 30:05 - working out during pregnancy 35:20 - Pelvic floor issues 36:43 - Learning to love your body postpartum 39:53 - VBAC vs. C-Section? 42:04 - Shoulder dystocia 44:35 - Doula 47:09 - Postpartum anxiety? 48:57 - Rainbow Baby 50:40 - Losing friends 52:23 - Breast pump 56:31 - Night feeds 1:00:45 - Back to work 1:02:27 - Biswell Beauty 1:09:42 - Roommate phase 1:13:46 - Fav song to sing to Fischer? 1:14:47 - Placenta pills 1:15:52 - Breastfeeding 1:17:07 - Feeding schedule 1:20:53 - Baby number 4? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Are you planning on baby number four? You're looking at me.

I'm not wanting to talk for. I'm waiting for you to talk first. I feel like we're mostly roommates postpartum. That's so sad. No, I think that's part of it. Right now, we are in a little bit of a roommate stage. But I love you. Sometimes Matt spooned me after a feeding, and I'm like, what are you doing?

What's the V-back versus C-section recovery life? It's still crazy that I watched all of your internal organs get taken out. I heard that's a myth. They don't get taken out. Whatever I saw, they were taking stuff out. But I saw lots of. of guts and blood and red. It was crazy. Welcome back to unplanned. What's up, dudes? We're so, so happy that you're here. If you've been with us since the beginning of the show, can we just give it up for you? Can we just give you a round of applause? Because, like, you're, you're loyal, okay?

We've literally been talking into these mics for, like, hundreds of hours on the internet and the fact that you're still with us. Thank you so much. In case you guys didn't know, today we are going to be responding to questions from you guys about postpartum. We're doing an honest postpartum Q&A. And we've got some really good questions submitted from you guys on Instagram. So thank you to everybody that's following the unplanned podcast Instagram account. Yeah. And thanks for your questions. Before we talk, do the questions, should we kind of give like a little life update? Yeah. I think we should. Let's do it. What, what have we been up to, babe? I'm just thinking about the fact that our dog is currently in surgery. Pretty sad. She's not sad about

though, I'll tell you that. Yeah, she's so happy. That dog loves going to the vet. She is just thrilled. She's just thrilled. She's like me. She just is down for an outing. And she loves the veterinarians.

At her office, they're so nice. And, yeah, I do realize that I feel more maternal towards pretzel than I would have thought. Yeah. Because I was, like, going to post on my story. Like, I was sad that pretzel was going to the vet to get Spade. And then I was like, this was my training. of thought. I have to, I have to admit this. Then I was like, well, no, I can't do that because there's

no verification process of like who's picking up pretzel. So then I was like, someone could see that. Oh my God. Dog nap, our dog. Goodness. Like go to the vet. So I was like, I need to post that not in real time. But you weren't going to post the actual vet location. I just thought that they could figure, like someone might recognize that office and they might be free today, but and might just happen to dog nap pretzel at the perfect time and dog nap pretzel and then i was like that was a crazy line of thinking right there that was a spiral thought i can't believe that she's already one years old i know yeah she's one years old do you say one years old or one year old she's one year old one year old i don't know that sounds right how did that happen we just snapped our fingers did have you

no it was it was a long year okay that first year is long for dogs i feel like she's still extremely hyper she still jumps on everyone she's a puppy first one If anybody comes into our house at any point, like jumping on you for sure. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I love her so much, but I'm like, it was a long year. Like, we had a lot, she had a lot. She had to learn this year.

Yeah. And it hasn't quite all sunk in. How many of our kids' toys have made it through her digestive system at this point? Oh my gosh. Every once in a while I just turn on, she's like, wha. Yeah. I'm like, oh, that's, that's a magnet tile. That's, no, she hasn't gotten a magnetile yet.

She could eat. She's like a little goat. She's a goat. I bet if we bought the off. brand she could get her little chompers on there. Yeah. Swallow a magnet. That'd be really bad.

She'd get stuck to the fridge, the magnets in her belly would like take her. Oh, Matt. That would actually be really bad. I know. That would be bad. No, she's doing good. She's just getting her ovaries out. Yeah.

It's actually so sad. I know. And the other thing is the fact that she swims in our pool so much that she got, what what does it call? She had an ear infection or is it a double ear infection? She has matting behind her ears and she has a double, potentially double ear infection. They're going to test while she's sedated. Yeah.

And then if she is, like if they are infected, then they're going to treat them. And then also she's getting her one-year-old vaccine. She's just going through it. We're like just knock it all out while she's sedated because she will never stay still otherwise. Okay. You know what really, you know what really annoys me? What? Really bothers me.

Yeah. Is the fact that pain for our dogs veterinarian care or taking her to the vet is so much simpler and easier. of a payment process than our medical system in the U.S. Yeah, you would never believe before we got everything done, they itemized everything for us, and we agreed to everything that they were doing and the cost of it before the procedure day. Yeah, can someone explain to me?

That's called consent. Why is it that the vet can let us know beforehand what the price is going to be and itemize it? I think it's the insurance system that muffs with everything. And then it changed, it inflates prices, it deflates price, like it messes everything up. But I think like we obviously, I think insurance is important. You know, you need, you can't just have no insurance. And if you get

cancer, then you're out. Like, then how are you going to pay back millions of dollars in medical bills if you don't have insurance and you're someone that has cancer? That would be crazy. But just the fact that they can like point blank tell you, oh yeah, here's the itemized list. Here's everything that you're going to pay for. We already know what it, like, what's going to happen. But with anytime we go to the doctor, it's so annoying having to like wait, literally months to get anything in the mail to see what you have to pay. And then sometimes things come years later. I think you just like- It's too fresh in my mind. Do you not want to talk about it? I don't want to talk about it for very long because it actually really grinds my years.

But yesterday got another bill. First of all, I got a bill for over four years ago. Four years ago. Just the anesthesia from my delivery. Because everything, I can't even go into details why all these things got so messed up. Because there's also a million different reasons. But I got the, I got the bill for an epidural that I got, over four years ago that came in the mail and then also another bill a year later for my miscarriage for $32,749 and I got so many DMs after that they're like it's been two years and I'm still dealing with this like it was already like the worst day of my life and I still keep going back and forth with them about this like there's so many complications and then here's the thing when I call anytime I'm like hey how will I know when this has been resolved because

they're like we're going to send forward a file we're going to file a file a this change and then I'm like and then I'm like okay well how am I going to know when something's different they're like well you just have to call back and I was on the phone for over an hour and so I'm like I'm just going to have to call back when can I expect this they're like 30 days so I'm going to call back in 30 days to see if they have refiled my bill I'm like you can't let me know you can't send something else in the mail dealing with that crap it's a nightmare can be like a part-time job at times full-time or 40 hours a week goodness yeah anyway it's fine yeah yeah It's just really frustrating and I just like I just hate that so many of us are in this boat but

Which the vet but it shouldn't be that way it shouldn't be that way like the the fact that the vet can do things the way they do them I just don't understand why why is the why is it easier to get medical care for a dog? It's not that different when you really think about it No it's not I was looking at those line items I'm like I've had that before exactly and like do we want to have a higher level of care for humans of course So it needs to be like slightly more complicated. Does it need to be slightly more complicated for humans? I'm sure it does because we we don't want anybody, you know, dying from anesthesia if they have an allergy or something. It's all so similar. Like I literally signed a resuscitate thing.

Like if she goes into cardiac arrest, like resuscitate her, please. We would like her. Also the difference in pricing too, like you look at. So I think for everything that our dogs being done is, was it $1,700 that I came out to? Well, it depends on so many different things, like if she's in heat or not. But I think it'll be like 1600. It's so much less money at the vet than it is. Truthfully.

For human care. Oh, in other news, you guys, my parents ended up staying with us when they came to visit us, which was awesome. Yeah, it was nice to have their help. So nice having their help. My dad wanted to fix everything. He was like, can I touch up your walls for you? Like, he was just asking all these different things.

And he actually, he put together my bench in the garage, which is, you know, I thought the kids had misplaced the screws and so I was putting it off and he was like actually they're all there so he put it together um which is awesome so shout out to john thank you john you need to become a little bit more handy like your dad you know i i actually don't really have desire for that i mean for some things sure do it do it purely to impress your wife okay there we go because i just think it would be really great if you could operate a drill when i built the half pipe in our backyard where Are you impressed for you? Like, wow, that's a man right there. Building a half pipe for me. Well, I was, I was impressed, but it was not, it was, the half pipe was for you.

No, I think it was for, I thought it was for you. I'm building my own toy. So I'm like, well, great job. Thank you. Thanks. But it was very impressive. That was a huge project. That was a mega project. Yeah. Shout out to John. We not only did he do that, but then he figured out my, my power blocks. those weights, I bought them off Facebook marketplace and they were so rusted. I just did not do my due diligence making sure that they were good because I should have never bought them. They just weren't a good quality. And he bought oil to oil the weights so that they can... I wouldn't even have known that that's what would get it off. I know. I think he was taking even like steel wool and just and getting them to fit together because the power block weights,

it's the type of dumbbells where they can, you can change the weight. So if you can, you have this like little insert to change it from you know 20 pounds to 50 pounds or if you want to even do 90 pounds you can do you can make them 90 pounds and yeah i don't really quite get that you don't understand it no there's all these different inserts and so it like it's like it stacks on each other so oh you have to put it together yeah yeah so when they're all together it weighs 90 pounds but then if you yeah if you want to lift only 10 pounds you take you know all the inserts off if that makes sense yeah i'm not explaining it the best no that makes sense Now I am excited to work out.

Actually, you know what? I'm really just mostly sad that I can't go to the mom's twerking class on Friday. Oh, I'm sorry. All my friends are going. I could just go and watch. Do you even know how to twerk? But that's kind of weird. No.

You don't know how to twerk. It doesn't stop me from doing what I can. If you want me to teach you, I could. I know you couldn't. If you know how to walk, if you went out of wall twerk, that's my special team. That is, I think I'm going to have to consult you on that. What? Caleb.

Wow, that is special. That's a special memory. What's funny about it is he's actually really good at it too. I actually have seen that. You've actually seen it, yeah. Unfortunately. Okay. Well, I think-

A little too close. No way, we're proud to say it's all. We also had Augie's birthday party. Oh, yeah. Augie's birthday party was amazing. Yo-ho, Yo-ho Pirates Life for three. And it was so fun. If the YouTube video isn't out yet, it'll be out soon.

And it was a really fun day filled with so many people. I think we had more people at our house at that party than ever. It was like, like 60, 70 people? I don't know. Yeah, maybe. It was a lot of people. Just so many kids. There's so many kids. Because we counted, how many adults did you count? Not including kids. I counted over 30. Over 30 adults. And most of the adults came with two kids. Minimum. So we're talking 60 plus people. That was crazy. We should also tell the story because your dad is so helpful. What happened? But it is a funny story with

the fifth. Oh, yeah. Let's make fun of my dad. Okay. No, we're not making fun of him. We love you, dad. He was so helpful. And honestly, he kind of came up with a hack. This is the Chipotle hack. Thank you to John Howard. It's called, take someone else's order. Accidentally steal someone else's order. This is with the hack.

So, okay, we sent Matt's dad because he's so helpful and is always asking like, can I help? And I'm usually like, no, just like, because I feel bad. Like, I feel like they come to visit and hang out and enjoy a trip and then he just like does stuff the whole time.

But we're like, you know what? You can go pick up the catering for the party. Uh-huh. And so he goes, we just got it from Chipotle, which actually is a great place. get catering for a party. 100%.

And he goes and he comes back and he has like two bags and I ordered like more than that. And Matt is like Abby, this is not enough food. We're not it's fine. I'll just go get some pizzas and I'm like I'm so confused because I paid

like almost $400 in Jopole like this just does not look like $400 worth of Jopole. He's like they said Abby, we look at the tag and it was like Abby Guzmonde or something like that. Just this random... He grabbed a takeout order.

This random ladies takeout order. And so I called Chipotle customer service. Thank goodness they figured it out pretty quickly. It was not Chipotle's fault. Please clear Chipotle's name. Yeah, it's not your dad's fault either. They did nothing wrong. No, it was definitely my dad's fault.

Well, he just... He just heard Abby and was like, yeah, right here. Yeah, I mean, I... And then the difference in the order size... It's a crazy coincidence. He came back with like two bags before. Like boxes. Came back with massive boxes of food because we bought, I mean, we bought enough food

to feed 30 adults and somehow we had food left over. I think it was because we had. It was because we got to keep the other order that your dad picked up from Abby Guzman or whatever it was. We would have ran out of food if it wasn't for that. So John actually saved the day. Thank you John for saving the day. Sorry to Abby Guzman. That probably wasn't even her name. But that was just so funny. We're like, sorry, get back in the car. This is not going to work. But it was a great party. It was so hot.

So we just, everyone was in the pool. Katie Church, who we had on the podcast. Yes. Has that been posted yet? The podcast? Katie made us a- You didn't know that our podcast with Katie Church went out already? Oh, it's already live.

That was out a while ago, Abby. I've been a little busy. Okay, you're right. She made a mega pinata. That was so fun. The kids had a great time with that. they still talk about the pinata she stuffed that thing that was a good pinata i think that was so good that probably was the best pinata of all time for a birthday party so much good candy inside of it

there were like full size i personally can't get out of the candy the candy the candy was really good candy too like she did not skimp no she did not and then the pinata was huge and it looked really good she did a great job they had so much fun yeah and so there's that and yeah um anyway I've started a hip hop class. Yeah. It's really wholesome. Yeah, it was sweet. I didn't know how they were going to react to going to hip hop class. They loved it. They talked about it all the time. They're like, it's hip hop open right now. They want, they love hip hop. It's like 9 p.m. I'm like, nope, it's not open right now. And we, I don't know if I told you this today, but we had a dance party before school. And we turned on some music and we did some of our hip hop moves from class. So that's amazing.

Yeah. Get some practicing. Get in the practicing. Well, okay. That that is our life update. the day you guys. And now we're going to dive into your questions that you submitted about postpartum. You ready to do this? Yes. Okay. The first one is from Ryan. She said, was Abby right about Fisher being a chill dude? Yeah. So chill. I would say he's a chill dude. Yeah, compared to past children in the newborn stage, so much chiller. Yeah, but he also, I mean, he's a normal baby. Like, he's like, he doesn't necessarily just like fall asleep. Oh yeah. No, he's still, he's still full on newborn. But I feel like if we measure the decibels of his cry versus Augie's cry,

I think Augie's cry would be like three times louder. Yeah. And he's more able to like, he's just more content in general than we've had in the past. So I would say by our baby standards, he is chill for sure. He doesn't need a binky. So that's been nice. I would like for him to take a binky, I think. Oh, really?

So he doesn't use you as a passie? Yeah. Okay. But you know what? We'll cross that bridge another time. I was on chat GPT as much as I don't want to admit that looking up how to get a baby to take a binky. I love how when chat chatt gpte came out, you were like so against it and now you're using it, I think, every day. Not every day.

Every other day. And I only use it for things that I would Google. But then now Google is doing chat GPD. It's called Google Gemini, babe. Now Google is doing Gemini. We did an ad for Google Gemini like a couple months ago. But that was more for the student angle, not like the mom trying to figure out how to get their kid to take a binky or how to air fried chicken breast tenders and their Ninja Krispy. Those are my common searches because I always forget.

This is from- So yeah, he's chill. This is from- So cute. Carlease. She said, how did you come up with the name Fisher? We just liked it. Basically, we realized that our first two kids are named after DJs and we were like, what's another DJ name that we can name our kids?

can name our kid after and we're like Fisher is a DJ that's he is a DJ yeah is Augie a DJ I actually don't know if foggies I'm pretty sure there is a DJ named August wait our kids are not named after DJs that's just maybe just a I was yeah I was just joking about that they're actually not it's just kind of a coincidence so to tell you the truth we just like the name yeah and when I say we I mean me I've come up with all of our kids names yes or no this show is sponsored by Better Health If you guys know us, you know that we're huge fans of therapy. We both have been to individual therapy.

We've done couples therapy. And I think there's so much that literally everyone can gain from going to therapy. I actually went just a couple of days ago. And it was so good just getting to talk about where we're at in this newborn stage. And one of my favorite things about BetterHelp is they are entirely online. They have a survey for you to fill out so you can be matched with somebody who is going to be a good fit for you. But if you decide, you know what, I want to try somebody else out, you can switch at any point for you. free of charge, it's so convenient.

Better help works exactly for your schedule and the comfort of your own home. Better is a feeling defined by you. And for BetterHelp, it's a Better Help therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress. Sign up and get 10% off at Betterhelp.com slash unplanned podcast. That's BetterHELP.com slash unplanned podcast.

Next question we have is from Kristen. she said, transition to three boys, weeks away from having my third boy and interested about the change. It's so fun. It's literally so fun. Right now, like, obviously it's not, it's just basically like two boys and then a baby, you know, but I just can see ahead what this is going to look like. I also have a lot of friends randomly that have three boys.

And I would just say in general, the transition from two to three is. like by and large from the people I've talked to you a much easier transition than zero to one and one to two and that's definitely been the case for us and I love the fact that they're all boys that can you know have shared interest and play together and yeah my favorite part is how it's great parents of multiple kids they just kind of aren't phased by adding more yeah like I think and they're not phased by much too like something can you can hear like a you know loud bang in another room and your kids are playing. Okay, a lot of banging other room would get me off the couch for sure. Well, okay, you hear,

you hear a suspicious noise in a different room. You know what worries me more is the silence, actually. Oh, yeah, actually, when it's silent, you're like, what are they covering on the walls? Are they taking all the toilet paper and like, yeah, it's usually something involving the toilet at this point. Yeah, it's toilet paper coloring on the walls. Something in the pantry, something suspicious in the pantry. Yeah, sometimes they'll pour out, like, pour out all of our chocolate onto the floor and eat the chocolate. chips from, you know, the chocolate chip container. So you got to, you got to be aware of those things when it's quiet. But I would say, like, people just aren't phased when you have a lot of kids.

But parents have one kid, like, one little tiny thing happens. And it's like, all hell breaks loose because there's, there's nothing else to raise your cortisol levels, right? Like, that's the only. That was the case for us for sure. Oh, yeah. We can call ourselves out. Yeah. We were, we were, we were that way too at that time for sure. Yeah. And now I think we just, you kind of just have to adapt, you know? Well, they also, we have a, like, I can rest assured knowing that a kid is going to come tell me that something is wrong. Yeah.

Like, before, if there's just one kid, like, maybe he's trapped in or something, there's no one, there's no witnesses. 100%. But there's going to be a kid that's going to be like, hey, they need you and then you can come in. That is nice, too, like having kids that actually can talk to us now. Yeah. Because I think, it's a game changer. Yeah, because, like, I don't know.

maybe maybe there's like a time where we're like cooking dinner and we both could be like helping do that in the kitchen and used to i feel like one of us would be like closely watching the the baby the whole time is everyone okay and they're like but but now like griff we can be like griffin is fisher okay yeah he's chilling like it's just like we we don't need to be like monitoring him as closely we don't need to see it with our own eyes as much exactly you know yeah because we have other coherent sources sources in the form of three and four year olds they're so reliable exactly this is from ah gosh dang it i'm so stupid can you read this name i can't pronounce it i don't know why i should be able to where is it you're way smarter than me question number five

that's ariana i'm an idiot this is from ariana how has the adjustment been for your older boys I'm just stupid. Okay. So the adjustment for our older boys, they've been great. Like, they've been so sweet to Fisher. They've been like nothing but loving and kind. And they, yeah, they ask to hold him every day, right? At least Griffin does.

Augie, not so much. But they ask about him all the time. They want him to come with us places. The only thing that I feel really bad about is there's a lot of like, I can't do that right now because I'm feeding baby Fisher. I can't do that right now because I'm holding baby Fisher. Like, there's a lot of that. And so I think today that kind of is what started like some big emotions in one of our kids because they wanted us to play. And I was like, I can't because I have to eat really fast so I can feed baby Fisher.

And then like there's like my time is just being pulled away from them more so. And so I don't think that they are like unaffected by the transition or like there was definitely a rough. patch right at the beginning, especially in me or in the hospital. They did not like us being gone in the hospital. Us coming home and like since he's like become more integrated in our routines, they've done amazing. They've done so, so well. You saying that made me think of this comment from Destin on our most recent, or on the episode we did about the newborn stage. And she said, pro tip, have the older boys here you tell Fisher to help to wait to help them with something even if baby is sleeping. Fisher, you got to wait. I'm helping Griffin with something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

exactly. Like that. Okay. Isn't that kind of, I thought that was kind of like a smart idea. Yeah, that is a good idea. Just because, I don't know, make sure it makes the, our older boys feel, you know. Like they're also a priority. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that makes sense. Also, um, we did tell the kids that Fisher got them superhero costumes because they are superheroes to him. that for some reason really landed with them. I wasn't sure how they're, because I feel like sometimes they're really literal. Like they love like magical things or like fun things.

Like they have big imaginations, but I just didn't know if like they would just look at me and be like, he can't give us anything because he's a baby. Yeah. But that really landed with them. And so that really helped like the fact that they are realizing like, I don't know, that they have like a big role in his life.

And so like that just kind of made everything a little bit more. fun and exciting. That was such a good idea, by the way. Thank you. I just came up with that one on the cloth. You like, was there any inspiration or did you just think of, oh, they need to be superheroes for Griffin or for Fisher? I just came up with that one. That was good. I knew they really liked superheroes. So I was really good. And they wear those superhero outfits all the time. All the time. Next question is from Jess. She said, how do you show up for the boys when sleep deprived? Any tips? Um, caffeine. We just, we drink caffeine every day, multiple times a day and we have energy drinks we have coffee uh what are you doing other than that is that is that pretty much um i just really try to go to bed early yeah that too that matters

uh maximizes me out of time that you can can like be bedtime so then when you're woken up and you're like losing hours of sleep you're starting from a surplus if that makes sense yeah um so i don't feel super sleep deprived but i do think the caffeine definitely i honestly in the morning, nothing in the world is more like satisfying than that first sip of coffee right about now. Oh, yeah. Um, you're on your, is that your second cup that you're on right now? Yeah, but they're both half calf. So I'm counting it as that's like one cup then. Yeah, but that'll probably be the last caffeine I have the day. I'm nursing. So I'm trying to be. Because it's what 85, 85 milligrams of caffeine per espresso shot. I thought I was 60. I think it's like 85. Ooh.

I thought it was 60. 60 per shot, 85. You're thinking it's 85 per shot. So then I'm getting a latte from a cup of coffee is 85 milligrams per shot of espresso is less caffeine than a cup of coffee. Really? 64 and a shot out of pressure. See, don't even. Okay, there we go. You're right. I was wrong about that. I've been adding this up. Um, this is from Sopka. She said, compare your postpartum experience in general with your previous ones, hormones, etc. etc. Hormonally has been the biggest difference between my first two and this one, like hormonally, I feel way better. And I cannot tell you, I'm not going to sit here and say, oh, it's this one thing. I think there's probably multiple reasons why. And then also partially just

luck. I think the village that we have now. It's 1,000 percent. And those placenta pills, I think there's something in there. Something between those two things makes a big difference. I think. Like hormonally, I feel way, way, way, way, way better. Oh, yeah. Than the first two times. Night and day difference, honestly. Yeah. I mean, it's rare. Like, I think the times that you've had, you know, hard nights, it like, I don't even, yeah, you can't even compare this time around to the past to, postpartum. Yes. So, yeah, you've been doing great. You've been doing awesome. So that has probably been the biggest difference. I haven't like started getting back to like working out or haven't started getting back to real life yet, I would say.

Yeah. So I can't really speak to like the full breadth of postpartum because that's like literally lasts like a year. So how important do you think it is to get out of the house when you're postpartner? For me, it's really, really important. And now there that's just so different for each person though because there's this whole philosophy on postpartum that you're supposed to spend like five days in bed, five days like next to the bed like in your bedroom.

and then five days like in your house or something like that. If I would have stayed 15 days cooped up like that, that would have really hurt my mental health, I think. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, historically, mental health has been harder for me than like my physical well-being post-birth. So that would not have been a good fit for me. But people swear by it.

Like, they, like, love that. So it just, everyone's different. So what was it? It was just about your experience postpartisan. I mean, I think... Oh, getting out of the house really helps me. Yeah, you've been getting out of the house a lot. You've been going on walks.

Like, you obviously can't go on walks right away, but as of today, it's in, it's been four weeks since you get birth. And gosh, I mean, just, you've been walking a lot. Yeah, I go on a walk every morning with Fisher. You've been going, uh, meeting friends for coffee. Meeting friends for coffee. You've been, you've even like gone and done like play dates with friends at like, trampoline parks.

Yeah. I think you might have done that a little too early because that was around when you were having a lot of bleeding. I did do that a little too early. But, you know, again, when you start taking those placenta pills, the bleeding, the bleeding stops right away, which is crazy. That is true. Yeah. Hey, I'm not saying the placenta pills didn't work. I, yeah.

Obviously, there's risks. Like, if you, if there's, I don't know, if your kid, what's it called, like, Marconium or something? If there's, like, poop all over the. Oh, I didn't know about that. I just knew that if you tested positive for the girl. groupie strip. Yeah, like there's, that's why you have to properly sanitize the placenta. If you're going to get it encapsulated, you want to work with someone that's actually done it before

and knows what they're doing. Like you? I'm not me. You did mine. I did yours with the under the direct supervision of someone that was certified. But um, no, this has been way easier. I cannot tell you all. There's probably multiple reasons why that is, but it's been, um, like I feel a lot better this time around. And do you think working out as hard as you did throughout the pregnancy, do you think that helped the way you're feeling now? Surely, but I don't think I worked out like crazy hard. Like you were just consistent. I mean, you were going to the gym five days a week. Yeah. Yeah, you five days a week is consistent. Most people, I would say maybe do like two days in the gym a week. Yeah, I did like five or six and then I would go on a walk the off days. Like I was, I would like do a lot of movement. I feel like that helps. That has to help. Also being postpartum after. loss, that definitely had to have influenced it, right? Like, I think, like, we are literally the sum of all of our life experiences.

And so, like, having that new experience, like, in between my two previous postpartum experiences and this one definitely just changed my perspective on, like, postpartum. I'm like, yes, this is hard and this is a difficult thing, but what a gift it is to be in this hard, this type of hard. Because I know of a different version of hard that I would much prefer this version of hard than the version without a baby. Also, I think the really scary part was everything leading up to the birth because we were both not really voicing it, but we were both scared SHIT lists about the about everything happening again. Yeah. So, the birth going smoothly and us getting to meet our baby alive was so good. And so I mean,

I think the main thing after miscarriage for you is just the fact that we're back to the month that everything happened a year later now, which, which sucks. Really sucks. And I don't think anything can make that better other than the fact that, you know, it's, it is nice that we have another baby now. Like that's... Totally. That's encouraging. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely think that post-loss, like the gratitude that I feel also lifted like the heaviness of postpartum for me. Yeah.

Like it was just like, well, I can't, I'm just so grateful that that just made everything like a little lighter. But then like you're saying to entering like September again and then like as we've approached like the actual date, I just feel like. like holding my breath. Yeah. And it's one of those things where it's like, I don't even like, oh my gosh, I got so many people hate when I say the word like. And now I'm saying it.

It's okay. It's because I haven't said this before. I like it when you say the word like. I think it's cute. Thanks Matt. Makes me sound so tall. I like you. I like you a lot.

Great. I feel myself like in a way like holding my breath. And it's not something I'm consciously aware of. Like there is just something about like anticipating like these, these. anniversaries, I just, I remember. So my parents experienced a loss before having me. And I remember learning about like that date and like how that date was really hard for my mom. And I never really quite understood that. I was like, wouldn't it always be hard? Like why would it be uniquely hard as like it's just like your I really believe this like your body like your spirit has like a pinpoint,

like has like a thumbtack and they know like your body knows. And a. And, like your body knows. a way that you're not consciously aware of. Yeah. That you're like trying to protect you from this scary thing that happened at the same time a year before, two years before, three years before. And like it doesn't, I don't, I don't anticipate that ever stopping. So like as we're arriving that day of that first anniversary, I feel like all this like, I don't even know how to put the, like the feeling is like someone's like squeezing my neck. Yeah. Like it's like you're holding your breath. And I wanted to clarified to what your parents experienced wasn't even it was so much more than a loss it was a stillbirth it was literally carrying a baby to full term and after all of that so that's just absolutely horrible yeah

absolutely horrible thank you to upwork for sponsoring today's episode the most successful business owners don't do it all themselves they delegate upwork lets you build a team of highly skilled specialists for every function your business needs so you can focus on what you do best and let experts handle the I'm a fan of Upwork. I've used it before to help us find and connect with editors that are very talented at editing YouTube videos. That could be a difficult job to fill. Oh yeah. And it's really cool that Upwork can connect you with that perfect person. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise so you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster, and scale support up or down without committing to full time headcount. You can browse profiles, review past work and get help scoping the role so you can hire with confidence and get started quickly. With business plus, you can access the top 1% of talent on Upwork.

AI powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers matched to your goals. And under six hours, no endless searching required. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's upwork.org.com. Any pelvic floor issues at all? I was having some peeing my pants moments I never had that postpartum the first two times

I this was a special new thing this time around like it was like when I had the urge to pee I literally had to go right then or else I was not going to make it or if I even just stood up too fast I was pee my pants so I was like wearing pads partially for pee at the beginning which is so too too much information. But I never experienced it wasn't for poop. At least you weren't experiencing the poop side of things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would not be unique. I know that some women experienced that and that would be not ideal. There's a special place in my heart for them. God. Can you imagine just like. Yeah, I did. After I had surgery, I put my pants.

That was not a good feeling. Yeah, I forgot about that. Well, yeah, you're right. More than once. That's it. That did happen. I don't want to go back. You're clawing my leg.

Sorry, I did not mean to claw your leg. I just wanted to have my hand on your leg. I'm sweating. Are you, this? Oh, but I did stop peeing my pants. Let's just put that out there. And I don't know if I have other polo floor issues. I don't know.

I don't know. There's no, I don't. There could be. Next one is what has been your experience with recovery and learning how to love your body postpartum? I would say it's very normal recovery. experience. Like, I did tear.

I had stitches. Like that and I was sore for a while. And then now I'm like really not experiencing much pain that took about three to four weeks to get there. You know. Are you having trouble loving yourself the way that you are? I would say I definitely like look in the mirror and I'm like, man, I don't want this to stay this way forever.

But I'm not like, I'm amazed by my body and I'm grateful for my body. and I'm not like, oh, I hate the way I look. Now, the thing that I don't like doing right now is wearing regular clothes. Like, I only like to wear, like, comfy clothes, athletic clothes, stretchy clothes. When I tried to, like, get, like, more ready, I start to feel really weird. Like, I just feel like it's like a weird, like, out of body experience. But I'm like, we're so fresh. Like, let's just stay in the comfy loungewear.

To find clothes that can fit that are, like, nicer. like like jeans oh jeans a regular bra like I don't want to wear a regular bra like you ever feel like you want to put on anything that you were while you're pregnant or is that not that's all I've been wearing okay it just looks a little different but like the the nicer clothes though like dresses that you wear that when you were pregnant and stuff like that not so much just because of nursing like wearing a dress when you're nursing is like really really hard but if I wear a big baggy t-shirt I can just put the whole thing over the baby and I can like have more freedom yeah nursing really keeps you from wearing dresses. I remember that you didn't wear dresses for a long time.

What am I going to do with my whole dress up? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I remember you used to wear dresses like almost every day when we were in college, especially with you being a teacher, like, you know, going in teaching. Yeah. And so I was just so used to seeing you wear dresses, but then you stopped wearing them postpartum. And I'm sure you're probably going to follow that same, that same way of doing things. Yeah. I'm definitely excited to get back into like working out. But it's not like, my my excitement for working out is not real like necessarily tied to body transformation like I'm excited to like go let out some steam do something for me like feel what it feels like to

move again without a bump like that's just such an exciting feeling like when you've worked out for 40 weeks pregnant you know what I mean so yeah I think that I feel a lot of like empathy and for people that like for women after you've had a baby like it's it is a really weird period where you're like what's going on with my body i just think the fact that i've had two kids before like it doesn't send me for it's it probably upset me more the first time than it does the third time yeah and once again also just being post lost like these things just feel i'm realizing that it's like such a small thing like the way my body looks but i definitely am not like flattering towards like the appearance of my body right now.

Next question is from somebody that is scared to have another C-section. So she said like what's the V-back versus C-section recovery like? Like what's the difference there? I mean, the recovery is so much easier with the V-back to recover, right? Yeah. Yeah. The C-section recovery is insane. It's intense.

Yeah, super intense. Would you say was, would you describe your C-section recovery as more intense or your hernia, your double hernia repair recovery as more intense. I mean, I think that I felt more pain in my double hernia repair thing, or double hernia repair surgery. But the fact that you have a C-section and then you have to care for a newborn directly after, yeah. That's pretty, that's pretty intense.

So they're neck and neck, you know. Yeah. I mean, the C-section recovery is quite a bit harder. for me, I would say. Like, I would say the average experience is, yeah, that's going to be a lot harder. Yeah. Crazy. It's still crazy that I watched all of your internal organs get taken out.

Like that's what I heard. I heard that's a myth. They don't get taken out. I saw. Whatever I saw, they were taking stuff out. I don't know what it was. And I saw, but I saw lots of guts and blood and red. Yeah, it was crazy.

But I should say, I also look back on my C-section. experience positively. Okay. Like I don't look back on it as like, oh my gosh, never ever want to do that again. In fact, I fully got pregnant thinking 100% I was going to have a C-section. And I thought there was a 0% chance I was going to have a V-back. So I don't look back on it as like the recovery was so difficult that.

And also I feel like the recovery was not as long as I expected it to be. Like I felt really good at two weeks after my C-section. So I just want to just put that out there. like if you are in a position where you have to have a C-section or you, for whatever reason, that's what it looks like you're going to be experiencing. I don't want to put that fear in you. Like, just take the painkillers. I should have done that. So since the shoulder to Stosha happen again, do you think that we'll opt for a C-section next time or try to do another V-back if we ever, if there is ever another time?

I mean, I'll have to talk to my doctor about that. Like, I haven't even had my six-week appointment. But based off of what she said, even the day that he, like, shortly after he was born, she kind of made a comment that made me think that it would not be wise to pursue a V-back ever again. Okay. Okay. Does that make you sad? Maybe a little bit.

Yeah, because the C-ception sucks, honestly. No. It's just like, it's not as, like, we had such a podcast. positive birth experience that was like so exciting and fun and like there's like this element of like like I don't know excitement that I don't know that you there's like it's so exciting to have a baby yeah but the birth of us of a scheduled C section isn't necessarily as exciting because you know what I mean sorry I'm yawning over here just the the newborn knock it off right now no I'm so yeah I didn't say I was tired I was yawning I'm not allowed to say I'm tired um so yeah I guess I would say that is a little

sad. Yeah. But I also want to make the safest decision for our babies. Yeah, it's, it's crazy to me. Like, the more babies you have, just how much easier the deliveries get, though. So that's, that's why I'm bummed out for you because, like, my mom said that, well, now we've, now we've had three boys. My mom had three boys. But like, she just said that the births got progressively easier. Yeah. And definitely from the first vaginal delivery to the third vaginal delivery. So much easier. completely different experience for you and like not only did the labor last like what was it like we said it on the last episode where we talked about the birth but it was like a couple hours versus over 24 hours of labor right just a completely night and day different experience yeah and it was

fun like it was a fun experience um but you really could have done i honestly think you could have done it naturally i don't think i know that i could have because you have when you have to do something oh yeah have to do it uh but it was nice seeing how the epidural just made you feel a lot better. I know. I guess I wonder what I would have said in that moment if they were like, okay, you just have like, you literally have 45 minutes left what I would have done. But the plan was always to get the epidural, especially being a V-back. Like the plan was to get an epidural because we just didn't know in the instance of a uterine rupture. I wanted to have that in. But thankfully we didn't have to experience that.

This question is from Riley. She said, what was the biggest help your doula provided? I mean, so many things. I can think. I don't know. why the first she filled in any gaps like anything anytime where i like wasn't like quick to do something she would just know to like i don't know like say she would say something to you to like encourage you or so um speak up when a medical concern arose and and we needed some sort of decision to be made she she just like deals with that stuff on the daily so she knows what to say she knows how to fill you in and fill in the gaps. And so it was really helpful. Like even for me as the husband, I felt so much more confident in my support for you because she was also like giving me ideas. She was like,

Matt, like rub Abby's back right here or do this for Abby. And so that was really helpful because I'm not a birth expert. I'm like I haven't gone to class like all these classes on how to do this. But you know, that's that's her profession. So having her guide me on how to support you was so helpful. Yeah, totally. I think there's so many things that, because usually doulas are coming from the angle of the fewest interventions possible. Yet,

I don't know that I would have gotten an epidural if it wasn't for having a doula. Like, she could tell from where I was in labor without anyone checking me that I was entering transition. And then she knew that it was going to start going really, really, really fast from there. And she knew that I needed to get fluids before I could get that. She was one who was like, you need to, we need to get this now. And so I don't know that I would have had an epidural if it wasn't for her because we just didn't know what like transition looked and sounded like. And then also I just remember there's like times where she just like had the magic touch.

Like I was in a lot of pain and she just put her hands on my knees. And I don't know why like in that moment that was exactly what I needed. Yeah. And it was just, it also just felt like there was a piece in the room knowing someone so experienced was never going to leave our. our side. Whereas like nurses, they can't give you their 100%. They have other people they have to tend to. And so like that she was not going to leave and she was there the whole time. That just that just gave us a sense of like feeling like in control. It is something that can otherwise feel outside of our control. And she bought us culvers. She got brought us chocolate shakes and burgers. She was

also so encouraging too. Like she's like you're doing so good. Like I was like I really felt like I could do anything because she was like encouraging. So that was so nice. She knew the words to say for sure. Seriously. Have you ever suffered from postpartum anxiety? Like not wanting to share your baby, et cetera. This is from Claudia. Um, nothing diagnosable, I would say, but I definitely had anxious thoughts postpartum.

I think that's- What type of anxious thoughts? Like my baby's gonna stop breathing. Oh yeah. That's a common one. I still get that. Yeah, I get that one sometimes. Someone's gonna take my baby.

It's chilled out too. Like I, I've learned. that a lot of times with with cids which is just like so scary to say it's oftentimes people just not following safe sleep protocol or you know sleeping sleeping with the baby yeah we're very diligent about that we're very careful to keep the swaddle uh below the neck that way you know that's not getting all up in their in their breathing area ultimately sleeping on their back yeah you don't your baby to sleep on their belly as as much as our colicky babies with baby one and baby two wanted to sleep on their bellies we just had to always put them on their back and so you just got

to just follow follow the rules and um but yeah that those anxious thoughts of like thinking your baby can to stop breathing in the night that's scary i mean even i have anxious thoughts he's not even a month old and i'm like he's going to roll he's going to roll off of that weird like i forgot that they can't even roll over right now yeah so there's just you know Those happen. Those happen. I've never had like I would say anxiety is probably something that is like more like something that you can't control. You can't you can't like kind of speak to those anxious thoughts and like talk yourself down. Yeah. And probably for a more prolonged period of time. But it's unfortunately super common. This question's from Lily. She said she's pregnant with her rainbow baby, but she's worried about the emotions to come. It's emotional. It is really emotional. I would say don't be worried about it. I feel like that's your sign that you're human.

Yeah. Like, I feel like I had to really make peace with like every feeling that I've felt and not like judging them as like, oh, I shouldn't be feeling this way or I shouldn't. This is like not like something I want to think or like all these types of things. I think there's definitely something to taking your thoughts captive. But those like emotions that you feel are literally just. a sign that you're human, that you're alive and that you care. There's something on the line.

And, um, like our emotions are probably like our, one of our strongest things that we can have as moms, you know, so we don't have to be worried about them. Definitely have someone you can talk to. And definitely like, if you have a thought that you're like, you need a voice, I would say like therapy has been a really good sounding board for that for me. And also my friend. Like I've been able to say things or like, oh, like for me, like I was really anxious about going to the hospital. Yeah.

The same hospital that we had Emerson. And so like saying that, I was anxious about that. Even just saying that alone, just getting that thought or that scary feeling, like putting it out there. I immediately felt so much relief just because when we're like they're just bouncing around inside your brain. Like it's just, it's hitting so many sensitive points where it's like if I can. could just say it. It felt like we could share it a little bit. Yeah. And it wasn't growing. Okay. Next question. I lost most of my friends during postpartum. Why is that? Wow. Were they moms? That's a really good question. I'm going to guess no. My guess is if this person

lost her friends, probably people in a different stage of life. Yeah. It's so hard. And some of that is just like that is sad. That's hard. Like you got to agree with that. But then also like, you're on a completely different schedule now. Yeah. That just makes things difficult and maybe it's not personal at all. It is sad. It's a logistic issue. Like, it's hard to have friends that don't have kids.

Now that we have kids, it just makes logical sense for all our friendships. You're like, oh, you want to hang out after 7.30? Right? How are we going to make that work? The only time, the time that I hang out with other dads is either an early morning dad workout before the kids are awake or we're like taking the kid to the park or the, indoor jump park and our kids are playing and then we can talk then but like it's it's rare that we're hanging out with people that are single or married without kids just because they're on a completely

different schedule than we are yeah it's like not personal it's just a scheduling thing that doesn't mean it's not like it's still definitely worth it to go outside of your way to have friends that are in different seasons of life and that's really good and we should also be better about that oh for sure But also, don't, I would say be slow to think that it's like someone just doesn't want to hang out with you anymore or that you, like, they don't like you anymore. Or it's because you got to be like X, Y or Z like don't jump to those conclusions. But that is a natural thing that happens. And it doesn't make it not sad. Next question is from Macy.

She's wondering what type of breast pump you use. I use the spectra. I even know what. it's called the one that they sell at Target. We just bought it because you couldn't rent the pump from the hospital this time. I know. I was planning on renting that one. But this one also said it was hospital grade.

So I was like, boo-ya. Boo-ya, baby. And I actually think it works just the same as the one that I rented from the hospital. Yeah. So I really like the spectra. Now, I also got a wearable that I, like, wanted to, like, love.

I personally am not a wearable pump girl. Like, if I'm going to do. do a pump it's gonna it's usually I'm just I'm I we only pump twice at night yeah I don't know why the wearable I just could not figure out where to get it on the right spot yeah we've we bought like the wearable see where to get it was it was trying to suck in the wrong thing and I was like get that out of there and then I just got to figure it out I think I just need a little bit more learn I need to learn it a little bit I have not seen you wear the the wearable one I also don't want to wear it because I already feel like oh yeah those

Those things are already so big. I'm like, I don't want. Putting the wearable one on too. I need to get a better bra to do that with. I just think I didn't really give it a good shot. Yeah. But for right now, I'm not like super interested in using a wearable.

But probably down the line, I will. Okay. I like that. It's just logistically confusing to me for some reason. Yeah. I don't know where to, I don't know.

I can't figure out how to line it up. Was it, was it sucking up like your regular skin? Something was wrong. What did it? There was like no milk in one side. Okay. I mean, actually, this was when I was just pumping colostrum,

but there was no colostrum in one side. And I was like, I just wasted all of that time sucking in something that wasn't the right part. Could you not see if it was going into the milk collection? You can't tell if the right thing is in the right hole. Can you like look in a mirror? Can you just like wear it? No, you don't have visibility on that part.

But apparently I need to do a different technique. Can you use like a camera, like your phone and like look at, different videos of it. No, it's hard to explain that, but it's blocked. It's not clear there. See, to me it shouldn't be that complicated. They should make the whole thing clear when you really think about it. Yeah. Hey, if you manufacture wearable pumps, please make a clear one. I mean, it's such a genius invention. I just need to get it. I just need to get with the program. It sounds like you're the problem here. I do love the spectra. I am the problem. And I just honestly feel like we're probably going to be more nursing than anything. Once he sleeps through

the night, we're just going to nurse. Thank you to Yoto for sponsoring this portion. of today's episode. Right now, our children currently are listening to their Yoto. They have full autonomy over the cards they put into their Yota box. And as a parent, you're always trying to balance what's educational, what's good for them. Yoto is the perfect balance of all worlds. And that's why I'm glad I discovered Yoto. A screen-free audio player for kids aged 3 to 12 that brings stories, music, learning, and imagination together in one simple device. Kids just pop in an audio card and can take to lead themselves, no cameras, no microphones, no ads, just their own imagination, running the show with more than 1,300 audio cards, including stories in Spanish and French. There's something for every

age and interest. That's one of my favorite things about the Yodo is that it ages up with your kids. What's also really cool is that we have family that lives out of state and they can create their own Yodo cards for our kids to listen to so they get to hear their grandma and Papa's voice. The reason Yodo has become such a big part of our routine isn't just because it's screen-free. it's because our kids genuinely love it. If you're looking for a gift, they'll actually use and enjoy. Head to YotoPlay.com. That's Y-O-O-T-O and use our code unplanned to save 10% off all eligible items.

Add a little more imagination and a little less screen time to your family's day with Yoto. Thank you, Yoda, for sponsoring this episode. Next question is from Ranch. She said, what are your favorite things to keep you awake? Also, I'm just assuming these are everyone's names, and this is like this name, Ranch, Ranch, Ch, 2026. like that's, I don't even know. That's not someone's name. Anyway, that's not someone's name.

Anyway, what are your favorite things to keep you awake during night feeds? Um, see that. I don't nurse in the night for that reason. I'd get too sleepy. Well, I mean, we're both getting up in the night for both feeding. So I think like for us, you go on your phone. See, I don't know how you go on your phone during the night feed because if I go on my phone, that really wakes me up and then I feel like I'd have trouble falling back asleep.

I go on my phone while I'm pumping so I don't fall asleep. So I just like, I put the bottle of his mouth and I just like sit there with my eyes close. and I just kind of like get through it. And then I'm awake enough then to change his diaper and, you know. Let me tell you, we're not chatting. Yeah, we're not. No talking happening. I'm actually usually meal planning.

Your meal. What? And ordering groceries. You're meal planning? Or responding to text. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm like responding to text because it's like what else am I going to do? Wow.

I also will say something about it is that like I go from a sleep to awake to back to sleep. Like, I don't know how. you do that. I'm not just like in a twilight state like Matt is. You always fall asleep. Matt doesn't even open his eyes, but he somehow changes the diaper. You changed a blowout last night. Yeah, then we had a blow. The blow out, the blow out. The onesie with poop all over is still in the sink. I noticed that. I need to get that thing cleaned up. Um, yeah, I just can't fall asleep as quickly as you do. Like you fall asleep like 15 minutes before I do every single night. So if I go on my phone during a night feeding, then I'm going to be up for like another 30, 45 minutes. I was reading my Kindle, but then that was putting me back to sleep. Ah. So I, I recommend reading the Kindle.

I shouldn't have my hands for you to read my Kindle. Like both my hands are on the baby. I've got a bottle in one hand, baby in the other hand. It's not that long though. He drinks a bottle in like five minutes. I feel like it, like the time that you pump and the time that I'm bottle feeding are like about the same, I would say. Once you add in like the diaper change.

I pump for 15 minutes and you still beat me to bed and you get him up. Feed him a bottle, change his diaper, re-swaddle him. Like, it's pretty quick. Yeah, we do, we do go quick. But then why did it take the other night, you, I remember you were saying it's been 50 minutes. Like you, our baby was not going back to sleep and I kept getting up and walking him to help him fall asleep. And I had to do that like. It took him a long time ago back to sleep.

I did like three times and you're like, it's been 50 minutes. And I just didn't even know. That's the other thing for me. I don't wear my smart watch. I do not want to know how much sleep I'm getting. It just F with my head. Like, if I wake up and I see that I slept four hours, it ruins my day. So I don't want to know.

Like if I got four hours, I don't want to know. And then in the night, I don't even want to know what the time is. I don't care if it's 1 a.m. Just my caffeine based off of what my watch says I slept. Oh, see, like, I just, I just wanted to think like, hey, I have no idea how much I slept. And I'm going to just get through today and we'll be all right. And if I'm feeling tired, I will just not say anything and have some pre-work out before I go to the gym. And that usually, you know, that's what I got to do. Um, but yeah, it's, it's been weird. He's been wanting more milk at night. Like we he's a Howard somehow you guys I'm 1,000% parents of newborns would probably understand this because we're just with our friends a couple

weeks ago that have a newborn and they gave their daughter like a bottle with an ounce in it. Our newborns eating five ounces. He is four weeks old and he he literally eats five ounces and he keeps it down. He's not to say that though because I know people would be like that is way too well that's why he's having blowouts like he's homeboy wants. He's growing like a weed and I gave him four ounces two nights ago. I gave him four. He got pissed. He was like crying and having trouble going back to sleep. So I gave him another ounce. And I can tell you. I was like, because I nurse him all day. I'm like, he's getting a lot. So he's getting he's probably getting five ounces every feed during the day too. I don't know about that, but he's going longer stretches

at night. So it makes sense for him to want a little bit extra. I feel like sometimes though you, you wake up a little, you wake him up or not really. Do you wake him up anymore? Do you ever set your alarm anymore? No. anymore? No, he consistently wakes up at the same time. Okay. Gotcha. I'm excited for when... My boobs wake me up, so maybe that's part of it. Like me and him are on the same. Yeah, because sometimes like you're like, man, it's time to feed. And then I'm like, our kid, our babies is asleep. He's silent. He's out like unswaddling him. It's like a spidey sense. Your boobs start tingling and you know that they're, they're hungry. Next we've got, um, how, how are you back to work so fast? Abby,

how are you back to work so fast? Well, I'm not a doctor. or a lawyer or a teacher. Yeah. I'm in my house. Yeah. So. I'm in my house and my babies are right there. So that helps a lot.

It's not like, if I had a traditional job, I would 1,000% not be back at work. Yeah. I'd be taking as much maternity leave as I possibly could. It's just the flexibility that, you know,

what we do offers. Yeah, I will say I do feel bad for you because, you know. Don't feel bad. It's totally fine. Well, I do. because even though you have this we're so blessed we're so lucky but like there's a lot of women that they work a job and they get six months of maternity leave and they get and they get six months but six

weeks okay let's say six weeks of maternity leave and they get those six weeks just to like fully soak in everything with their baby and you kind of like since the day you got home from the hospital we're doing some work it wasn't a lot like on the day that you got back but you haven't really gotten time off other than to literally push the baby out. Well, you know what. Which then even that we were vlogging that. That's, I wasn't focused on the vlog off. Yeah.

Totally honest. That's, there's pros and cons to being self-employed. Yeah. There are. Because yeah, if you're self-employed, you know, you can technically, like, manage how much time you take off. I could, I could not be back at work. You could.

You could take six months off. But I think we would probably have some problems with our podcasts if you just decided to take a vacation. But I could make that decision. You could. You really could. So I'm not going to complain about the decisions that I made. Next question is from Ashley.

She said, how is running a mascara business postpartum? Also, is it available in Canada yet? So Ashley, we're so sorry. The mascara is not available. That's the first country that it will. We can say that. That's the first country that it will be available in other than the U.S. So many people in Canada want to buy the mascara and I feel so bad because.

No, we're trying. It started. Yeah. The process has begun. We're working on that. But there's just different regulations. and loopholes we have to jump through. And you guys were, not loopholes. Not loopholes, but there's, there's just a lot. We're doing it all the right way. We don't want to do anything illegal.

Okay. So we're trying to, we're following the law and we're already like, I didn't realize this when you launched this company, you guys. There's all these regulations in every single state in the United States. And then within the states, there's different jurisdictions within those states that you have to follow their regulations. Then there's taxes that you have to pay. And then once you hit the certain threshold called Nexus, then you owe those taxes, and then you have to file in those states. So you already lost me. So we're dealing with all of that. Um, or I guess I'm dealing with that. Yeah, I was going to say, let's reframe the question. What is it like running a mascara company, Matthew James? Um, no, well, we're doing it together. Yeah, but I will say like my,

like my role. You're, your, Abby's a product expert. So if you're wondering why the mascara is so effing good, it's because she, yeah, my product has been established. So yeah, I, I get to kind of show. Like she wasn't, she wasn't going to stop until she figured out the perfect formula. And she was like, this is the formula. This is the brush. We're golden. And everyone's like, if you look at the reviews and you look at the videos that people

have posted online about the mascara, I haven't seen anything negative. I think like, it's just been so overwhelming and positive. Everyone has their own taste. Totally. Like, and if you don't like the mascara, it's not going to offend us. Like, we. No, I will hurt my feelings just a little bit. Because I do view it as like in some capacity.

I mean, I just- Something I've created like a baby. I feel like every time I open my phone though, it's like another person that's like, this is the best mascara I've ever used. Yeah, it really makes me, it makes me so happy when people like, I love the results because I love the results and I know like what having a product you love, especially like something like a mascara that just makes you feel put together like so quickly. Like having something that just can give you that little confidence.

Yeah. It really makes a difference. So it makes me so happy when other people, are experiencing that same thing. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I'm so grateful for like we can, we're doing this together. It's not like me doing this all my own. And we have other like outside help that we've, we anticipated August and September being like months that we fully wanted to dedicate to like adjusting to being a family

of five. And so we like an advanced outsource some things. obviously there's certain things that we will never outsource like for the business like we like for product development I'm like that one that one starts and ends with me ultimately like with the help of like actual chemists yeah um but yeah now that the product has been established obviously now there we're just like in the early stages for other products down the line that I've just like it's fun I just get to test out a bunch of makeup, which I like love. And so that's what we're doing now. I don't know if I can say what they are. Uh, maybe we'll keep it a secret. Or wait, or do you want to say anything? There's a teaser

in one of the videos, Abby teases. Cullers. Okay. Maybe a different color. Now you're just, now you're just telling people what it is. Okay, bleep it out if it's not okay. No, but um, yeah, there's some really exciting things in the works to you guys for the mascara company. And all that stuff is just fun. Could not be proud of you. And I had a lot of fun, you guys. I stayed up till 3.30 in the morning a couple days ago redesigning the website and I love the way it looks. So if you like the new website, let me know. As if he needed another reason to be up in the middle of the night. Yeah, that was actually, it was nice though because like every time our baby weight woke up and needed a bottle, you were ready to go. I was ready. I was already awake and ready to go. You were chatting with me

for the first time in the middle of the night. And then I was able to sleep in till 9 a.m. Because my parents were staying with us and they were able to wake up with their boys. And, and yeah, actually it was nice having my parents to stay with us because that was helpful in the mornings for sure. Um, to make the long answer short, right now, what it looks like for me and my role in BISWL Beauty is really just trying out makeup. And that is so fun. I'd be doing my makeup anyway. Yeah. Because that's what I love. And for me, I've just been doing like an audit on the business of like, how can we make things better? Because here's the thing. When you have, like you guys, this is thousands and

thousands of units of mascara that were shipping out all over the country. And so like if you take, take 1% of a thousand, that's 10 people. So if we if we have 1% where there's mishaps with an order where someone doesn't get their package on time, it got lost at a distribution center or maybe our fulfillment center that we're partnering with is having trouble because some orders got misplaced. Like we have to own that and take care of these people. And so just we're right now we're just working out all of our systems and processes to fine tune how we take care of people because number one, we want to make sure that everyone has a great experience. And if somebody doesn't have a good experience, we want to

make it right and do the right thing. So we're just working out the kinks right now. Which is also kind of a blessing that we have limited quantity. Yeah, it is. Because it's like we do need to learn how to take care of everyone. You know, and thankfully there hasn't been hardly any mishaps, but any new business, there's going to be growing pains, hiccups. And like we are learning and growing and growing. And I'm really proud of the service and like the quality of the product. Yeah, but please, please, please. If you love the match. mascara, please leave us a review. I think the way that most people have done that is through

the shop app because like Shopify, you can download the shop app through Shopify because we are our store set up through Shopify. But yeah, definitely leave a review. If you, if you're curious and you want to know what the reviews are and read some, go on on the website, the bizwell dash beauty.com website and you can actually read the reviews, see the videos that people have been posting out the product. Yeah, if you don't trust my results. I know. Yeah. trust the others. Because there are people out there that are like, well, Abby's lashes are so good.

I don't think it's, I don't know if it's actually be that great. And you look at the videos of other people putting on the mascara and you see how good it is. But anyway, don't take my word for it. Go look at the reviews. And if you have enjoyed the product, please leave us a review.

We would really appreciate that. Look at that supportive husband. Okay. So our next question that we have, how do you do? I think you look like Fisher. You think I do? Yeah.

All my aunts and all my uncles have been saying that baby Fisher looks like me as a baby. He has, your eyes. Yeah. He got my jeans. Our two boys, our first two are like carbon clones of Abby and maybe Fisher's going to be more of a dad look alike than a mom look like. That'll be interesting. Our kids are all adorable. That's actually, I've noticed that in other families too. Like in Abigail's family, her and her younger sister look more like her dad and then her older sister looks more like her mom. Yeah. So, you know, some, that's just how some families work. You got some kids take after one parent and then the others take after the. Yeah, it's not always put.

Yeah. Okay. How do you stay connected to each other? I feel like we're mostly roommates postpartum. That's so sad. No, I think that's part of it. I think that's part of it. Well, I feel like we're more connected now than the past. I also think I think the first pregnancy was the first postpartum experience was just like wild. Second one was even wilder because it was just it just hit us and we didn't know what the frick we were doing. And and they were like disagreeing. and then we were I was so dumb and was like hey how about because we're like authentic let's like talk about our disagreement on the internet and then so like now I feel like we're under a lot less stress but it's still hard like sometimes in the night we wake up and it makes me fight in the night though we don't fight we don't talk well I mean it's just sad because it's like sometimes like we're like ships passing in the night with all the I agree I think that right now we are in a little bit of a roommate stage yeah and but I love you I still love you so much sometimes Matt spoons me out of after a feeding and I'm like, what are you doing? I just want to hold you. I just want to give you a hug. It's sweet that you like are still like because right now it's like I'm kind of pushing against that. Oh yeah. That instinct of like are the babies okay. Are the babies okay? Are the babies okay? And like reminding myself like, okay, I'm also doing this alongside someone that I deeply love and is like also my friend. And so like having to just like be able to turn sideways and be like, oh hey, like I love you.

and finding little ways to encourage each other. But yeah, I do think, like, especially the first six weeks, like, it is kind of a roommate stage. It's like, it's all utility, right? And I think that's also romantic in another sense where it's like, you guys are fully a team one unit, like, doing this big thing together. And that in itself is, like, special. Like, that is, and it's only for a short amount of time.

So I know that as we get past that six week mark, like we're going to find ways to also prioritize our marriage. It's not like we're not finding ways. Like we're finding ways to like get a meal together. We've been brunch. We got brunch and has Fisher third wheeled on every single date that we've been on. Have we only been on two dates and one of them was a brunch date? Yes. But you know, you do what you can.

That's more than we probably did the previous times. 100%. This next question is how is Abby always in a good mood? How are you always in a good mood, babe? where did they get that impression that is my first question second question is probably coffee

I was going to say that and I was such an annoying answer probably like a good coffee it's probably just your supportive husband is what it is probably that you're so sweet oh my god you're stupid I wouldn't say that I'm always in a good mood so um but if i'm in a bad mood uh well you know what actually here let's be really realistic about

this i feel like i for the most part been in a good mood um i focus on gratitude yeah go on a walk every day yes i eat good three hurting meals a day a couple good snacks i look forward to i like to read books when i'm nursing that puts me in a good mood and just focusing oh friends community loved ones I surround I've been hanging out with a lot of people I feel like it's it you're putting out so much good karma by all the good things you do for other people that I think that they just want to do that back for you and so then I think that has like put you at a good mood in a way like just people everyone's looking out for you everyone's everyone's you know making meals checking in so nice doing nice things

but I think that's just because it's like you know what goes around comes around and if you if you put good out in the world i think it comes back i think that's what's happening well i am very very very grateful for my friends and family uh what's your favorite song to sing fisher do we we don't even really sing him songs actually i see you are my sunshine we say that's your voice i actually haven't really sing that to him i haven't sang them a song yet rude i need to it's sweet you guys i started singing songs for our boys before they go to sleep again and uh i didn't I guess I haven't done it for like a week or a week or a week or two. But like they sort of requesting it.

They would put in song requests at night because they wanted us to sing a lullaby. Actually just kidding. They did ask me to sing. I was like usually they don't ask me to sing. But they actually wanted me to cradle them too and sing like I did with like I do with Fisher, but they're so big now. It's funny. If I sing along the music that's playing, they like, they're like, that stop. Oh.

Like they want the actual music. I don't like that. But at night is when they want us to sing to them. Yeah. They don't want us to sing to a song. They just want us to do acapella, which is really difficult for mommy. This question is from Jamie.

She said, what has the advantages of placenta pills been so far? How long will you be taking them? Till they're gone, I guess. Which will take a very long time. There's a lot of pills there. I was not aware of how long it would take. I mean months.

Let's be real, this will take months. The advantages are, hard to pinpoint as like, you know, there's so many variables. Yeah, I wish that we could go back in time and have you take placenta pills with the last two pregnancies. Because I wonder if that would have like fundamentally changed everything. I don't like in my head. I'm like it can't have. But I also am like this. But like what happened didn't you get when you had low iron and you had different like low things in your body. You would get headaches. You would feel horrible. And then when you started like headed, you started taking magnesium, iron, all these things that your body needs. You know. You had different like low things that your body needs. You. You were like. You started. You started taking magnesium. Iron. All these things that. You. You started. You. You started. I. I. I. I. I needed and it fixed the way you felt. So I don't know, man. There could be something there. I would say I would do it again. Like I would recommend it to people. And I would say, Hey, it might not do all these things, but it also might. So like, why not just give it a shot? Yeah. That's good. Um, Riley asked, how is breastfeeding different for each child? I will say like with Fisher like when he would nurse like if he couldn't get it right away.

It would, obviously he was, like, frustrated by it. But, like, with our other babies, like, they would get frustrated when they couldn't nurse and it would make them stop trying. And so then we'd, like, have to be like, okay, well, this one's going to have to be a bottle feed, like, early on. It took, like, them, like, trying to learn. Like, their temperament was more like, we're so frustrated that we can't do this. Like, we're done trying. Like, we'd have to, like, sometimes, remember, like, if I would try to nurse, it'd be like, we'll just have to do a bottle. Yeah. But like that's never happened with Fisher. Like we've always gotten him to like end up doing it. Yeah. But I also think a part of that is like me approaching the situation from a calmer perspective. You know what I mean? Off subject. Your outfit is so cute. Where is it from? You look adorable. From nudes. Yep. Okay. That's an influencer brand. Heck yeah. That's cool. I have it in three colors. I love that. Thank you. You look so cute in it. That's funny that you have the three colors.

I do. That's awesome. Did they send it to you? They did. That's sweet. I like it. How do you learn your baby's feeding schedule? This is from a sooner-imu-a-ma named Anna Elizabeth Robertson.

Yeah. This one I do have like, I'm coming from a different angle than some moms. So you have to figure out what works for you. But I do kind of keep my babies on a schedule from early on. And I think that has become increasingly important with the more kids that we've had. Like, I was just thinking about this today. Like, if I didn't have some type of feeding schedule for Fisher, I could find myself needing to nurse during preschool pickup or drop off or during like any type of, like, we have places

to be for our older kids schedule. So it's really nice to be able to predict not to the minute, you know, but around when he's going to feed. And so I usually just have a set number of feedings that I do during the day. And if they need, I need to be flexible with where they come, then that happens. but I have a general roundabout of like when he's going to eat. And we feed like every two to three hours during the day. And then at the night, we're at the point where we just like let him, let us know when he needs to eat,

which happens twice. Consistently, it's been twice and it's around the same times. So I think it does help to have a little bit of a routine for them. Do you think pumping before birth helped? Or was like, was that worth it pumping before giving birth? The reason I pumped before birth was just to have a little bit of, bit of colostrum stored up so we wouldn't have to use formula in the hospital before my milk came in and I'm so glad we had that storage like it really helped I think with both of our other babies

their blood sugars ended up dropping in the hospital and it didn't happen this time because we supplemented with colostrum that I had pumped what are we going to do with that extra colostrum it's still in the freezer surely give it to him at some point just add it to a bottle for some extra nutrients gosh I feel like all that colostrum won't even add up to like two ounces even. No, it certainly won't. It's not that much. Just crazy how much their capacity grows to eat as they, as they, you know, even just with a couple of days, a couple days after the birth, they're able to eat so much more than they were on day one. Seriously.

A lot of changes going on. It's so cool. Yeah. I think that's why that hence the blowout yesterday, I think they're just, he's just eating so much food now. He can just throw some crazy amounts of. breast milk down. Seriously. It's impressive.

Okay. We've got one more question, but before we get into that, I just wanted to thank this very kind person who left us review. This is from Funky Notes. She said, Matt and Abby, thank you guys for creating such amazing content. Thank you for being real. Parenting is not easy. Life is not easy.

You guys are hands down the right people to have this type of podcast. Keep rocking it. So nice. It's from Funky Notes. So I don't know what your name is, but thank you so much for leaving that review. And to everyone that has left off, stuff's a review on Apple Podcasts. So nice. That's where you can write out of review.

And if you don't feel like writing out of review, you can just tap the five stars on Spotify. And if you're watching our show and you don't enjoy it. Oh, yeah. You can actually just like tap the stars on that. And then, so please leave his review. But if, and if you're watching the show and you don't enjoy it, then my question would be why maybe go do something else with your If you're, like, if you're going to leave us a negative review, maybe just watch a different show. Anyway, um, but I, I think like everyone here is like super nice. I, that's the vibe I'm getting from

everybody. I mean, that was such a nice review. So anyway, thank you, everybody. Thank you, funky notes. Okay. Thank you. Funky notes. Okay. And finally, the last question we have is from Sophia. She said, are you planning on baby number four? You're looking at me. You're, I'm not wanting to talk for. I'm waiting for you to talk first. We have kind of just left that question to be discussed at the later date. It feels like so soon to be making all these future plans. Heck, this is the unplanned podcast. If we're meant to have another baby, we would gladly welcome that baby and be so excited. What type of answer is that we're meant to? If we're meant to. I don't know. If the, if the stars align, that's how I feel about it. That's what will happen. I, I,

I think, I mean, I don't know. At this point, we will be like having prevention measures this time. We don't, we're, I mean, a surprise would be awesome. We would, we would love to have babies close in age. But I think, I think for right now, we're like, let's, you know, let's have some prevention. For sure. Because I think we all know at this point that breastfeeding is not an effective form of birth control. We never use that form of birth control. Oh, I know. Yeah, it was never, that was never, that was. never our intent, but we were like... We just used a different form of birth control. Yeah. And then we were also like, okay, it was one time. Like we're chilling.

Like we're not like one time isn't going to make anything happen. Oh, wait, what? Anyway, um, but all that be said, I think like, it's so tough, you guys because there's, like, I love seeing our older boys interact. I love how close they are. I love that they're basically twins. They do everything together. They are just,

obsessed with each other. And I want that for Fisher. So it's like, but then it's also, Abby looked at me yesterday and said, we have so many kids. There's so many kids. And I was like, yeah, we do. We've got a, and we have a dog. Like, we're constantly, I think goodness that you're that during the week, your mom comes over for a couple hours. So I, we can get some work done in the day because I'm like, even, even with having a little help from family, I still struggle to like, like, respond to.

work-related emails and like get design things done on the Biswell beauty website because every five minutes, Griffin and Aug, you're like running into my office like, hey, dad, can you come check out this cool dinosaur sculpture I made in like in my room or hey, dad, can you join my quiet time? Or, and I like, I want to spend time with them. So then it's like, if we keep having more kids, then how are we going to have the time for all of them, which I'm sure we'd figure it out. But I think what Abby said is right. I think we've got to just give us some time. time to process to adjust to this new stage of life and maybe in 2027 we'll figure out what that that plan is for us yeah i mean here's the fact i'm 27 i have hopefully about 13 more years of

child 13 more years options oh my god well i'm what do they say 40 that's 13 years yeah people have kids at 40 um so we're we're obviously really young we've had a lot of kids like close together there's not like a firm plan for like where we're at I think for so long especially after the loss it was like let's just get to this point yeah where we can see a pregnancy carried a term and have a healthy baby so there's never been like a plan beyond this point and there's still not a plan beyond this point we love babies we love I love pregnancy I love newborn we love this whole experience. I love having children, but we're also so satisfied with the family that we have right now

at this point in time. So it's like there's no firm plan. And we're going to just continue to talk about it and have like open dialogue and see what feels right. I think the crazy thing. There's no right answer. The crazy thing about having a fourth though, if we ever did cross that road some at some point, like Abby's parents are both one of two kids my dad did not like he has one he has like a couple half siblings and like one you know full on sibling like we we just don't really come from families where people are are cranking out that many kids unless we like go far back into the family tree I think my grandpa was like one of seven or something and everyone did that back in the day but um you know, it's just crazy because, yeah, Abby's one of two. I'm one of three. And so if we did

send it, that would be kind of like out of the ordinary. I will say when we had to make any like future decisions as far as like car or just like any lifestyle things that we had to like commit to. We went ahead and committed to like options that would allow for a fourth. Yeah. But it's never like, yeah. Nothing is like definitive. It feels crazy to even talk about at this point. We have literally one month old. It does feel early, but there's just no plans for that at this point. Aren't people already asking you that question? Like isn't that already a conversation topic? Like women are just like, I'm going to try for a fourth. Like people have already asked me that. I think a lot of people ask that because we have three boys. Yeah. So the conversation is always like, are you going to try for a girl?

Try for a girl? Yeah. So that's where that comes up, which doesn't offend me. Yeah. But I, I can see where that would bother some people. People get offended by that. Yeah. Just okay, because it's like you're not happy with the gender that you have. Well, maybe they're just like, we're fully content. We didn't want for that, but you're seeing what I have as like not enough. Interesting. But I don't know. I didn't take it that way. I don't take it that way. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I, sorry that's a really unsatisfying answer. That's just the honest answer. Honestly, Like we're just kind of over here. Just so grateful to be where we're at.

And. Hey, we have. K. Sarah, Sarah. Yeah. We already, and we already have a dog. So, um, which is pretty much the same. Yeah.

A girl dog. We have a girl dog. So when people are like, try for a girl, it's like, actually, we already have a female dog. So. She just got her ovaries taken out. You just got her ovaries taken out. So. And, and, and loves to swim in our pool.

All right. Well, you guys. This was a wonderful, wonderful episode. Thank you to everyone that submitted those questions. If you do say so yourself. I just liked hearing you talk. I mean, I just think you're wonderful. I like you. I get to stare at a pretty girl this whole entire time. I told that. I was like, this would be really sad as if we talk more on the podcast today than we do in real life. So, no, we get to hang out together. We're going to hang out tonight. I'm so excited. Hang out with you. Hang out with our kids. It's going to be great. Yeah. Woohoo. Yeah. I love you. Love you. Okay. Thanks guys. We'll see you in the next episode. Peace.