The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - It's baby time!

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

We’re officially on baby watch. 👶 At 37 weeks pregnant, we’re sharing our final pregnancy update before baby #3 arrives - from fake labor, nesting, and VBAC prep to the emotional reality of saying goodbye to our family of four. We also talk about why Abby feels “trauma bonded” to her OB, the surprising ways pregnancy has changed her, and what we’re most nervous (and excited) about as we prepare to meet our little guy. Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/unplanned! #squarepod Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/kssum24w #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement, for the Sutton debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-sutton and for the Bancorp debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-bancorp. Savings and Offers provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Offers may not be affiliated with third party merchants. Parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6-12. Cash App will pass through a portion of the interest paid on your savings balance held in an account for the benefit of Cash App customers at Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., Member FDIC. To earn interest on your Cash App savings balance, you need to have sponsor approval. Exceptions may apply. Savings yield rate is subject to change. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Leesa: Go to https://leesa.com and use promo code UNPLANNED for 25% off select mattresses plus an extra $50 off, exclusive for listeners. Chilipad: Visit https://www.sleep.me/UNPLANNED to get up to $255 off your Chilipad 2.0 with code UNPLANNED, plus free shipping and a 30-day sleep trial. Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify/ Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Mascara is sold out! Thank you guys so much! Sign up here for updates on restock: https://www.biswell-beauty.com/ Chapters: 00:45 - Baby watch! 08:01 - Nesting 10:01 - Preparing our boys for baby 12:11 - Prodromal labor 16:05 - Pumping 19:31 - entering a new season 23:51 - Final ultrasound 28:52 - membrane sweep 32:57 - Baby moon date night 36:36 - Introducing our baby to our dog 41:57 - Contractions 43:29 - VBAC 46:30 - Labor 50:32 - Hypno-birthing 1:01:54 - Audience submitted questions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Did you just get hit with a contraction?

What I feel? How do you feel? Whoa. That's why I'm like, my uterus needs to take a break. She's susceptible to a rupture. Take it easy, girl. There's no touching the belly. No touch you.

The boobs. I'm writing that down. No touching your butt. But if I'm touching your hips, though. That's the problem is sometimes you're doing that to relieve pressure, your hands drift. It's not as about even a little bit. So excited to see you hold a baby shirtless. I'm also looking forward to seeing you shirtless with a baby as well.

Okay. animal planet. What's up, dudes? Welcome back to unplanned. You guys, we are officially on Baby Watch. Abby's full term, 37 weeks, contractions are happening. See, I just feel like the baby's not going to come until...

Until, what, 39, 40? Yeah. Really? At this point? Why do you feel that way? I don't know. I think I have to feel that way or else you're like, you lose the mental game, you know?

Oh, yeah. How are you handling all of this so well? Like you just do a pool party. I come home from the gym and there's like a herd of toddlers at our pool and you're just hanging out. Like how are you handling that? It's impressive. I feel like I've been really grouchy recently. I don't think I'm handling it like the best.

You feel grouchy? I feel grouchy. Wait, why invite people over to our house? Was that just like a spur of the moment thing? It just kind of happened. Okay. That doesn't make me more grouchy, I don't think. Oh, okay. Did that make you happy to have people over?

It's, yeah, I hang out with them every day. So it's like I can hang out with you at my house. Okay. I could hang out with you at a trampoline park and hang out with you. Like, I was already planning on hanging out with them. Yeah. And, I mean, our house was certainly a mess when they came over. But that's kind of like my motto with hosting.

Yeah. Just it's better to have people over than to feel like you can't have people over unless it's perfect. Yeah. I honestly don't know how you do it though because you're pregnant, growing a baby. you're running a mascara brand that just launched and sold out. You run, you're on two different podcasts. You have Instagram, TikTok, and a YouTube channel. And is there something that I'm missing?

Full-time mom. I don't know how you do it all, girl. I got a lot of help. You're impressive. No. It's not like I'm doing it alone. We're doing it together. Yeah, yeah, you're right.

You're right. But I'm not growing a baby. Yeah, no, you're not doing that. Yeah. So I'm, you're awesome. Thank you. So when did the grouchiness start? What did you start feeling the grouchy? The grouch come out.

It would be like 37 weeks. What was it? Was there like a certain thing that was just like, ah. I just think it's hormones. Ah, okay. Okay. I don't know. See like right now I feel grouchy. You do, you do. Yeah. Did I say something that pissed you off? I don't know. It's like, it's not you. I know it's me, but it is you. I made the mistake.

What did I say? I said something about like, you know, the baby could come anywhere anywhere from now. Or in the next three weeks. No. In my head it was like... How did I say it in your head? Like you were like diminishing the way that I felt currently. Oh gosh. Because it's like you still have three weeks.

And I was like, shut the F up. Like I don't know what... How did it come out? That's the thing. Words sometimes are hard for me. And I feel like if I'm not ultra clear in the communication and like the way that I'm saying it, and I'm like, oh gosh, I don't. Like it's one thing for me to be like, it could be three weeks from now.

And then it's another thing for you to be like, buckle up, girl. I did not say that. I did not say it that way. I did not say it that way. Maybe that's how you interpreted it. Maybe that's like, maybe that was a story that you're choosing to tell yourself. Maybe. Yeah.

Maybe. That's good. I like that line. I like the story that I'm choosing to tell. Now it's just like so much of my energy has gone towards having these contractions that aren't like real that I'm like. real that I'm like I don't have the energy to like I don't feel like I have the energy reserves to just be chipper and smiley. Do you feel at peace now that I have installed the baby's car seat in my car?

I'm so glad you did that. That was bothering me. It's there it's all set up fully installed. That's crazy. Is there anything else that's like lingering on your mind? Well I did realize yesterday we never registered at the hospital. Is that I guess that's when we have to do we we you have to do that. Okay, okay. So let's do that then. I did. Oh, you did? It's done. I think it should be done now. Oh, thanks for doing that. I think. I need to follow up and make sure that that's done. Would they deny us if you're in labor and we show up? I can't imagine they would deny you, but I think that you could probably, it would take you a longer to maybe get in a room and stuff. Yeah. And I don't think that's something we really want to do. It's just like hang out. Yeah. Not in a room there. Let me just say, I chose the wrong day to install our child's car seat. There's not a right day in Arizona. Goodness, Abby. Like, I, so you asked me to do it yesterday and I was like, then, then work got in the way. And so I ended up like having to push it off till today. But to be honest, part of the thing that was just like, I was dreading. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going, I'm going to sweat so much installing this thing. And I did. It was a hundred and seven. Yeah. And you're not really a sweaty guy. I'm not. Yeah. You know, I got to give you props. You're not gross. I'm not gross. I think a lot of boys are kind of gross. Really? I don't think you're gross. Why are, why are so many boys gross? Uh, poor hygiene. Okay. Smelly. And like dirty. Okay. Like with their space and living stuff. Ah, yeah. You're not dirty and you're not gross. You have good hygiene. I feel like I keep keeping pretty clean. Maybe it's just because I like your pheromones. Oh, yeah. You do like the smell of me. You'll like wear my shirts and stuff. There's like science to that, isn't there? I don't know. It's like I don't know. I think I learned that from like when a baby is like sad missing their mom. Yeah. That's weird.

My scent. Is there something in particular that I do that is like so tidy and not not like messy or nasty? You don't stink. But I feel like sometimes the one thing that I get comments on those is you'll be like, your breath is rank. Yeah, because you think that if you drink coffee, you don't have to brush your teeth, which that is not what I think. That is not what I think.

Matt, say it right now. Say what right now? I'm not pulling this out of nowhere. What? You are wrong. You say that if you don't, if you drink coffee, then you don't need to brush your teeth in the morning. Okay. Whoa, whoa.

You do say that. First of all, I am a hundred and ten percent team brush your freaking teeth. That is like, I brush my teeth every day, okay? Once a day. But sometimes I don't do it in the mornings because I got in a really bad habit after going through the newborn stage where it was like... This is not our baby's fault. I didn't even know. Well, it's something that I could fix now.

But then we're also about to have another newborn. So it's probably I'm going to fall right back into the bad habit. No, you can still brush your teeth towards a day. But like when you were so tired and then you're like waking up with your kid and then there's all this stuff to do, then it's like, oh my gosh, it's noon. I haven't even brushed my teeth. And so usually what I do is I would wait until like I've, you know, gone to the gym hopefully and worked out and then I'll brush my teeth at like noon because then it's like I get

it all done when I'm like showering because I don't shower before the gym. That'd be weird to shower like before and after. That makes sense. Basically you're making a lot of. of excuses. But you tell me that if you drink coffee, then your breath doesn't stink. I think I have coffee bread. But you're also putting milk in your coffee. I think you get coffee breath if you drink coffee. But there's milk in it. It's a latte. So that makes it really stinky. Okay. Well, I'm sorry. That's okay. That's something that I, that's, that's an area of

improvement I could focus on. That's the one thing that you're kind of gross about. Okay. Anyway, um, nesting. We have a bassinet all set up. We've got the baby monitor set up. We've got a bottle wash station set up. We've got all these things. And, oh, I went into our shed, pulled out all the baby clothes, threw those in the wash, used the non-scented laundry detergent because apparently babies don't like scented stuff. Well, it's just, it can irritate their skin.

That's right. And, you know, so we're doing all the things. And everything's good to go. It's pretty, it's as good as it's going to be. We don't have a nursery. Yeah, I get, you know, that's the thing. I think we did a nursery for Griffin, our first board. They haven't done one since.

And since then, you know. Because our babies stay in our room for a really long time. Yeah. Yeah. And also, if you make a really cute nursery, my opinion is if you're going to go all out on your kids' room, I feel like the age to do it would be like maybe when they're five or six because then that's actually a good point. I think like five or six you do it. And then maybe when they go into middle school, you redo their room again.

And then high school, you do it again. Because like, then that's like three different stages. but if you're going, if you're sending it on the nursery, then you have to redo all of that in like a year because it's really not going to be the right theme for a toddler, you know? You're not going to want all the rainbow. Like your toddler's going to want to have like Darth Vader and sports and stuff. Like if Augie had like rainbows in his room, he'd be like, I would just start now with a Darth Vader nursery. That's true. How funny would that be.

They would love that. If it's like a Darth Vader shaped crib, it's like the baby's. like the baby sleeps inside. It's like the Millennium Falcon. Yes. How sick would that be? No, the death star. I will tell you if I, I've thought about this. Like I see some of these dad DIYers and I'm not a handyman by any means. But I think it'd be fun to like make to do something epic in one of our kids' rooms, you know? Kind of like how I build a half pipe in her backyard. It would be cool to just like send it on our kids room. Well, Griffin and Augie think that this baby's moving into their room once he's done staying in our room. I mean, he really could. He could. I don't know if

all to sleep all together though that feels crazy that feels absolutely crazy but they're already getting I feel like I feel like they're gonna adjust really well because they already talk all the time like they got a couple toys for the baby yeah and they were like yelling at their friends which isn't nice but they're like don't touch that that's for baby like they like are already getting like protective of his stuff they're already like talking about like what's his and how it's It was really sweet how you had the boys pick out toys for their baby brother, but they kind of just ended up picking out toys that they wanted. We made them pick out baby toys, though.

Yeah, but they ended up, like, we got home and they started playing with the baby toys they picked out. Yeah. Yeah, and fighting over the baby toy they picked out for their brother. So, that's just, that's just called having kids, you know, what's new? Almost three and a four-year-old. Exactly. Okay, so what are you noticing? Like now that you're feeling you're in this stage of pregnancy, you're ready for this baby to get out.

What are you noticing is helping with the grouchiness? Like what helps you feel better in your day? Nothing. Here's my question. How the heck are you still working out? Actually, I think I like being alone a little bit more now. You like being alone. But I actually feel like I feel that way, but then I also like feel really attached to you.

Like I don't. And I think that's actually maybe normal. Like towards the end I'm like, I just am really scared of. of like you not be around me. Like I want you. You're like my comfort person. Got it. Even though I'm not like pleasant.

Like I'm like, you still got to be here. So that's a tough place for you to be in. Because I'm like, I'm going to be grouchy, but I need you right next to me. Got it. You got to suffer through me.

I mean, I feel like I haven't been that bad though. Do you think? No, I was telling you this. Like you've been so nice to me this pregnancy. I feel like you're just honestly,

I think you're, you've been the best version of yourself that I've ever gotten to know. I got to get back to that. I think the past three days since I've been 37 weeks, I just got grouchy and I just got to suck it up. Well, it's probably really hard to feel all that movement in your in your stomach and also. It's the exhaustion. So, like, I've been having probably what you would call prodromal labor, which is like where...

I've never even heard of that. What is that? Yeah, it's like where you're having contractions, they're like not real. Okay. But they're intense enough that I like, it's hard. to get comfortable and it's hard to sleep. What does padromal mean? I don't know what is pro-dromal mean.

Fake. Where did you learn that word? It means fake. I know what a Braxton Hick is, but I've never heard of perjromal. Oh, okay, it's another way of, it's the same thing. It's just consistent, like long, drawn out, Baxon Hicks. Okay, okay. That, like, make it so I couldn't sleep.

So I've been up a lot of nights just, like, with, like, that tightening. I wouldn't say it hurts. I would honestly have been, like, glad. if they hurt because then I was like oh then that means that it's progressing somewhere yeah but it was just intense yeah but it wasn't hurting so then I was just like well this is just a really weird place to be in because I'm just can't sleep but it's not like go time yeah so then I was like up I was up for the day at essentially 1 30 a.m yeah you got you got hit with pregnancy insomnia which is insomnia is horrible like people that deal with insomnia

I dealt with that for a brief moment, like a year ago. Oh, gosh, like, that sucks. So what did you do? Well, it's hard when you're already so tired from being pregnant, but then you're also extra tired because I've been having, like, these contractions. And then you can't sleep. So it's just a little bit crazy. And I feel like your risk of, I mean, I feel like probably your chance of experiencing

pro-drama labor has to go up with each pregnancy. because I just feel like my body's like, oh, we know what to do. But it's like, but wait, it's not the time. So don't start sounding the alarms yet. It's not the worst thing ever, but it certainly is not fun. Yeah. I just can't believe that you're... It'll worry out.

I can't believe you're dilated to three and a half centimeters right now. I mean, it's... It is, like, what's the point? At the last pregnancy appointment, the doctor literally could feel the baby when she, you know, did the check, the cervical check or whatever. Yeah. I don't know. Feels like we could just hang out here for a while, though, you know?

Yeah. I didn't realize, well, in the past, last two pregnancies, you never really got to that far. We just never checked with a scheduled C-section, but I was having, like, those Braxton Hicks. You were, okay. So I don't know really what that case was, you know. It's hard to know.

Yeah. But, yeah, so, I mean, really what they say is baby could come now, baby could come on his due day. And we know that, like, the baby's not going to go past his due date. We'll all be induced on that day if he's not here before then. But, yeah, we'll see. I'm so curious. But also, I'm like, I do know that he's going to come at the right time. And that'll be that.

But right now we're just in a weird limbo where it's just like we're making plans. We're still doing stuff all the time. but it's like, okay, are we going to actually do that though? Like, is our life going to be completely different at that point? Yeah. Because I know that like once you go into the hospital and like you have that baby, like it feels like that version of yourself that made those plans is a totally different person. And so it's like I'm so anticipating like that big shift happening.

But it's like, but when is it going to happen? Yeah. It's exciting. And I feel like we're in a good place because it's like we did nest. We have like everything like pretty much ready. like, which is great because I feel like for the longest time we had nothing really done. I mean, we don't have a nursery, which is, we'll be fine. Yeah.

But yeah. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites. Whether you're gearing up for a busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand, Square keeps your business running smoothly from payments and POS to online orders, inventory, staff, and more, all in one place so you can focus on your customers, not your to-do list. Something I love about the area that we live in is that there are so many small businesses. I'm talking cute little bakeries, coffee shops, children's stores, almost every

single one of those local businesses use Square. And as a customer, it's super easy to use, but also as the business owner, they really make the process simple for you. Square turns real-time data into useful insights that help businesses make smarter decisions. Square shows up when it matters most. You'll always know where they're headed and that they're building for you. helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations, and insights together in one place so you're ready for whatever's next. Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash go slash unplanned. That's SQUA-R-E.com slash go slash unplanned. Get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do.

So you're pumping now. You're actively pumping. I mean, I did pump yesterday for the first time. Okay. Did you pump? pump today? If you done twice? No. Literally only one time. No, I actually was reminded to how much I really don't like pumping. Is it the contractions that start to happen? It's just like you're experiencing it, but you don't have your baby.

Yeah. Yeah, the contractions aren't funny either. But yeah, I'm like, maybe, well, hopefully I don't have to pump a ton this pregnancy. Or what? Hopefully I don't have to pump a ton with this baby. Yeah. But, yeah, I was pumping, got some colostrum. So this is the first time we're saving it, I guess.

I guess we'll save it. because I feel like with little babies, sometimes it takes a minute for your milk to come in and sometimes their blood sugar can drop. And I feel like they've always been really pushing in the hospital with both times, like with wanting to give them formula. And I'm like,

I'd rather you just gave them this colostrum. Like instead. So maybe we'll have to find a way to bring that to the hospital or... Yeah, how would we bring that? I guess we'll just have to put it in the little syringes that Addy brought. and then freeze it and then as soon as we get there, put it in their freezer.

Okay. So, okay. That's an extra step. Hopefully we can make that happen. We can bring it frozen and then let it like thaw out once we're there. I mean, it'll be in tiny syringes. So I feel like you'd barely have to leave it out and it would thaw. Oh, really?

And then they can just put it in. Like you just put, squeeze a little syringe in their mouth. Syringes? Like we'd like feed our baby with a syringe? I mean, it's one of those things you only do like literally the first like three days of their life. Ah, okay. And then they start eating. Gosh.

You forget. Isn't it so weird? Like you forget. Yeah. Like all the bit. Like he's going to have like a little umbilical cord sticking out of his belly. It's going to be weird. Like the all the onesies are so tiny that we went through.

Getting all the clothes folded and put in put into. Do you think it's just going to snap back into place? I think we'll quickly get there. I think we will. Okay. Like did you think that we would have, I would have more confidence at this point? Yeah. I kind of thought I would have more confidence. But I don't know. I think we'll get it.

Like I think we'll figure it out. We don't really have an option to not. See, unfortunately, I think our most confidence we had was before we had babies. And then now that we have babies, I feel like we just keep losing confidence. You should have no idea. Yeah, because you're just like, man, so much of this is like actually out of my hands. And I think that's a better place to be because it's like you then you just take the, you roll with the punches more because you're like this was you know this was going to happen either way I don't have control over this 100 but then it is just like now we're at this place we're

like wow we're at crossroads we're about we're about to cross into a whole different life yeah because like our family that we've like known it will be totally different forever after this point and it's just kind of like wow that's and that's a big thing and that's why I was starting to get more emotional too about like our kids like our two boys like it's going to be sad like in a way like we're we want this baby so bad and we have for so long and we're so excited but then also there's just like a certain sadness for like our family unit as it was yeah you're right you're right I mean that season of life is is basically over I mean because I know that I know what how it's going to be like once we have this baby then it'll be like we kind of even almost

like forgot about that version of our family Mm-hmm. You know? It's hard to remember a version of our two boys before they could talk. I like it. It's like I forgot. That's what I'm saying. It's like I've forgotten that they were ever newborns.

Maybe my brain just like made me forget about that stage because it was so. No, just you just forget it so quick. Yeah. Yeah, I guess like your brain only has so much capacity for memory, right? My brain has no capacity. We've both lived so much life already. I was actually, this is so morbid. I was like laying in bed last night.

And I was like, okay, if I quadrupled my age, that would, that would mean that I would be a hundred and twelve. Like if, like, if I, I've definitely lived. This is what I'm talking about. Like, why do you have to keep doing, giving me a crisis? Like, at random times, this is the worst time for a crisis. It's weird, though, to think about, like, how much of the percentage of our life we've lived. See, that's not the time.

Not the time. Not the time. Okay. But we have, I think we have, we have a lot of life left to live. I'm just saying, we've lived a lot of life left to live. We've lived a lot of life already. There's a lot more, hopefully, I mean, you know. But, you know, we just, I guess our brains only have so much memory capacity before you have to kind of throw some memories away. It's like that scene.

I was just talking about with Adi. Wait, it's inside out. You know the scene and inside out where they're like, ah, get rid of it. And they take the memory and they go, and they like get rid of all those memories when joy and sadness are walking through the stream of memories, the library of memories. The most clever movie ever. Speaking of movies, I feel like we've entered that stage with you being so pregnant and having so much going on. We're kind of like in that spot where it's just like sometimes we've got to just turn on a movie for the kids so we can go set things up, go get a bassinet set up, go get different things prep for our house. You know, it's it's kind of like I think when you first become a parent, you think like, I'm not doing screen time.

Like we're not we're not ever doing that. And then you kind of hit a point where you're like, I think I need. a little bit of screen time here and there to help me actually get life done. I wonder what people, like people a hundred years ago, I guess they just kind of like let their kids get hurt a lot more. Like I feel like if if your kid is just like playing in the backyard while you're trying to, you know, nest and set up baby stuff, right? Like if you're. Well, they probably didn't do as nearly as much prep as we do nowadays. That's true. But people used to have like seven kids. I do think kids just like started to tag along with the parents more like but that is one of those things where it's like

it just takes a lot longer if they're like in our space and we're trying to do those things okay let's jump to talking about the recent pregnancy appointment we had this is the final ultrasound yes of this pregnancy what big news did we learn well i feel like the last scan you have for a lot of big reasons. A lot of them is like to estimate the baby's size, which was going to be a big factor in finalizing our birth plan. You want to make sure the baby's in a good position for birth. Your placenta is in a good position, like all those things. And everything really looks good. He's head down. He's like pretty much fully posterior. We had that problem with our first like going sunny side up is what they call it. And it's just not a favorable position to like,

deliver a baby in. Obviously, he can still flip. I don't think he'll flip not head down, but he could flip face up again still. They kind of tell you also, like, if you're dilated, your effacement, which is like your thickness of your cervix

and your station that the baby's in, like in your pelvis. And we also found out that our doctor's going to be out of town. We knew she was going to be out of town for a period of time. Yeah, just from when you're, just the week.

the 38, she's only out of town when you're 38 weeks. Yeah. So the baby comes before then, we're good. After then we're good. But in that time zone, in that timeline when she's gone, what do you thinking about that? It would be okay. I keep saying I'm like trauma bonded to this doctor because she delivered our daughter. And I just like had this like vision of just like this redemptive birth with her because she was amazing.

And I feel like a lot of people that have gone through situations like this like where you've gone through a loss. with a doctor have like polarizing experiences where it's like I never want to see you again I'm associating you with this horrible time or it's like I really just want like I feel like you were like pivotal in such a dark time like I want to now have like a redemptive experience with her like I trust her so much through going through that experience so it's like I really would love for her to be the one delivering our baby. But I'm also like, it's just out of our hands. Like if the baby decides to come then,

which it's like he very likely could come when she's back or even potentially before she leaves. It's not a huge deal. But the rest of our like OB team is fully on board with like RV back given every other detail that we've given them. The baby's still measuring like right at 56 percentile. So that's great. So yesterday he was six pounds and 15 ounces, which is very normal.

So he'll probably be, our doctor was like, we're expecting like seven, seven and a half pounds. She said eight at the most. I was like, no, let's say seven and seven and a half. I wasn't expecting for her to say that her baby was just shy of seven pounds. Really? That was pretty shocking to me. I thought the baby was going to weigh like five pounds and something ounces. You thought we were going to have a five pound baby?

I don't know. Like I thought since we still have potentially like two, you know, two, three weeks. I thought, oh, we're, yeah, we're at like five because I thought they grow by like, again, it's been so long, but I thought it was going to be like a, you know, two pound growth in the last like two weeks. I feel like I'm gaining like two pounds every week. No, you're not. No, you're not.

But, no, I don't think she's like, I'm not expecting like, I don't know. I think he's just going to be perfectly average and that will be great. And he feels a lot smaller than our other babies like in my belly like he does. and the fluid looks good. The thing that was a little weird was that my blood pressure was high and that's never been the case and I know that's something they take

really, really seriously at the end of pregnancy. Like your blood pressure is like something that is like, they will take a baby out really quick if they think your blood pressure is high because it's related to preclampsia which is pretty serious.

Which I've never had before. But it was high when she took it and then they're like, okay, well, we need to check again before you leave and then we left it. we didn't even check again, like no one remembered. And so then I called back to the clinic and I, like, talked to my doctor and she was like, well, if you have a cuff at home, just take your blood pressure.

And if it's normal, then we're fine. We'll see at your next appointment. If it's high, then you need to come back in and also do some blood work. And we just did it with our at-home cuff and it was normal. And I don't have any other, like, major symptoms of, like, I think the symptoms are like a really bad headache, vision changes, things like that. And I didn't have those. So hopefully everything's fine with that.

That's the thing that really could change our birth plan, I guess, is if it, for some reason, ends up getting high. But that was weird. Maybe she just took it really, she did take it really fast. But it's never been high before. So that was weird. And it wasn't like a little bit high. It was like really high.

How did it feel to have the membrane sweep yesterday? You know, they've never like. I feel like if they're going to work, they're probably more painful. Yeah, because you didn't really react to it. I thought you were going to be in a lot of pain, so I came up next to you to hold your hand, and you didn't even, like, really flinch. I was impressed. I mean, I've done it before, and I just knew what to expect.

Because I've heard a lot of women have severe pain when that happens. I think it probably just depends all on, like, your baby's position. Yeah. Like, he's still kind of high. He was at a negative two station, so maybe that made it less painful. I mean, I don't know. Also, I feel like I'm having contraction, right?

Like literally right now, a contraction. I mean, they're not real. Okay. Yeah, I feel like they can, it's like they're going to hurt really bad if it's going to send you into labor or they like don't hurt that bad if it's not the real thing.

Or maybe it's because it was already dilated to like a three and a half that it didn't hurt us. I don't know. Yeah. She didn't have to really do much. It's already open. Yeah, I'm still shocked.

I'm just amazed at the human body and the fact that like the fact that she could actually feel our baby and just how casually she was like, all right, membrane sweep's done. I can feel your baby. You're at three and a half centimeters dilated. Like, wow. Okay, first of all, how do they know three and a half centimeters? That still amazes me. They're just like, they just know off of feel. I know.

That does amaze me. How do you, how do you know a measurement? just based off of with your hand. They're amazing. I don't know. One of my friends is a labor and delivery nurse. I'm like, how do you know? She's like, you just do it a lot.

You just do it a lot. But then like what's your baseline? Do they have, do they have, like, do they practice membrane suite? They stretch like that. But like how, see, like I'm going in dark and I'm like feeling around my finger. Like, I would have no idea. Like, am I at five centimeters? They're professionals.

I have two centimeters. Like, I guess they just practice a lot on a doll. I don't know. They probably have, like. Is there a membrane sweep doll in their training program? Not sweet, but like to check dilation, I'm sure they have some type of model. Like a mannequin? Yeah.

It's all right, class. Take out your notebooks. We're going to be doing membrane sweeps. Who's up first? Like, is it like that? Yeah, because it is only a centimeter. Like, that is so impressive. I'm still for.

I've seen those mannequins where they're like delivering babies. I would have thought there would be some sort of like, like AI measurement tool that then you have to like put on your fingers and then and then it has like a magnet so then it can like tell the distance between your fingers or something like the fact that they just Matt babies have been born since the beginning of time obviously yeah of course AI but like we we live in a world where there's driverless vehicles now so I thought that there might be some more advanced technology for the measurements it's not apparently there's not it's good enough maybe there is and and everyone's just still using their fingers and saying, oh, three and a half, all right, we're good. You know. Yeah, also, none of that stuff, I don't know what this says about me or my body. None of that stuff has ever bothered me that much. Like, people are like, I don't want to get a cervical check because it hurts.

Like, that has never bothered me. I don't know if it's the location of my cervix. I don't know if it's, I literally don't. I can't tell you what it is. It's just never really bothered me. Yeah. And getting a membrane spoo has never really bothered me either. So I don't know.

like it doesn't feel good i do think you have a higher pain tolerance than other people though i don't say that but i'm like based off of what i think you do i've seen you i've seen you do some crazy stuff anyway um so yeah i got the membrane sweep and then just felt like you know the typical crampy the typical and then my my contractions are basically only at night yeah so that's great yeah and also uh you know we had what could have been our last date night since before we have this baby and we went to dentai fung which was really good actually i thought i was not going to like it but i didn't like it you were saying it wasn't me good i was like it was so good matt didn't like that you have at denti fung the um you like order on a card i don't like that

why i like to just tell the person what i want i think the reason is that way is because it's family style yeah it confuses me though i'm like i feel like i'm doing homework like marr. You don't like family style. Yeah. Has anybody been to a restaurant like that where you order on a piece of paper? You know, it's, I think a lot of certain Asian restaurants have that. Yeah. Like sushi rolls.

Like we've been to like a sushi place where the shoot. You know, that's kind of what Dintai Fung is. The sushi comes out. It's elevated Asian takeout. Are you serious? That's what it is? I'm just saying that. I don't know.

Because we went to that place. Is it called like a subway thing where they like that was horrible? What's it called where they bring the rolls out on a conveyor belt? Yeah, the conveyor belt. awful. No, but I thought it was fun. I like that. It was a really fun concept and it would have been amazing if it was actually good sushi. It was disgusting sushi. Well, Dentai Fung was really good. That was called Listeria. Sushi. I thought the food was going to be bad because I ate your leftovers when you went to Dentai Fung. You ate it cold the next day. That's not fair. And I didn't use any of the

Fixies. Chili oil, the ginger, the soy sauce, the vinegar. None of that. I didn't use any of that. Messed up. You need all the fixings. So this time I really covered everything in the the good stuff and boy was was I impressed. So good. I want it back now. Especially the mango shave ice. That was good. Yeah, it's so good.

Yeah. Really good dessert. I ate those spicy noodles. You know, they say spicy stuff can put you in labor. It didn't do it. Didn't do it. Didn't do it.

But maybe your body is just not ready. It's just not ready yet. It's just not ready. Yeah. It's just practicing a lot, which is really great for me. Just practicing. I know.

I actually don't like that it's doing that because, you know, the risk of a V-back is uterine rupture. And I'm like, my uterus, I need my uterus to rest. Yeah. Rest so you can handle this. It's going to be a lot for you. Okay.

You have an incision in there. Thank you to Cash Hat for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. A money lesson we're trying to pass on to our kids is to spend less than they make. I just feel like in this day and age is getting harder and harder, though. There's a lot of what I call like money traps where you only have to pay for a little now, pay for the rest then. But they're going to get you. credit things going on. And so it's really important that we start teaching our kids young how to manage their finances. And that's why I'm really excited about what cash app is building. It's a great

resource for kids and parents because the fact is that kids today are growing up in a world where money is mostly digital. The key is giving them the right setup from the start. One, they'll never outgrow. Cash apps managed accounts for kids ages 6 to 12 are designed exactly for that. Your kid gets a customizable cash app visa card that feels personal to them while you should. shape the entire experience from your side. You manage everything from your own cash app, all with no subscription fees because building money habits shouldn't cost extra. Here's what makes it different. Their savings, habits, and history carry forward every step of the way. It starts with a parent managed at 6, a teen account at 13, and a full account at 18. You're not starting over with

different banks or losing track of what they've learned. They also fraud monitoring and running around the clock and you get real-time visibility into every transaction. When kids make their first real decisions with money, what to spend, what to save, what to skip. You want those moments to go well because early wins build lasting habits. That's the whole idea. Real experiences, real guidance, a smart setup that grows with kids who are ready to start learning and keep working as to become adults. If you're ready to start teaching money habits without adding more stress to your plate, download Cash App and set up a managed account for your child today. For limited time, new Cash App customers who are parents can use our exclusive referral code Family 10 to earn $10. Download

app, enter the referral code in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you will receive $10. Terms apply. Cash app is a financial services platform, not a bank. Bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank's bank, prepaid debit card issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC, Cash App Visa Debit Flex cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDICIC, and the Bank N.A.

Pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. C, terms and conditions for the Sutton Prepaid Card, Stut, Depend Cards, and Bank Corp Debit Flex card. Savings and offers provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. Brands. Parents and Legal Guardians can open a managed account for kids 6 at 12. Visit cash.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. What are you doing to battle this Arizona heat that we're having right now?

It's been so hot. It's been... She's been making me so grouchy. Awful. It's like looking at my phone today while I was outside, I was like, why am I so hot? I'm like, oh, it's 107. That's why I'm hot. That's why I'm sweating through my shirt.

It's cruel. Yeah. It's unusual. What are you doing to get over that? Just, I get really grouchy. It's so hot. Especially with kids too, because, you know, you don't want to put your kid into a hot car. I know.

It is really scary. Yeah. The cars get so hot. Our car will say what the internal temperature is. I don't know how accurate is, but usually it's like 163. I keep telling myself, I'm going to do this. It's like, you can literally, this is an oven. I've really wanted to like either fry eggs or bake cookies inside our car because I've

heard that people have done that and I know that we could like what see think about it what inside or car not inside that would oh yeah like on the dash like if I look at our Tesla it says 160 you know cookies are baked at if I don't have temperature control on inside the Tesla it'll get like to 160 degrees I just said that like yeah I know but that's like that's still really hot not enough to bake a cookie I think it I think it could technically bake it not like well it's not going to be perfectly done Do you know what temperature ovens are when you make a cookie? Like 350. Okay.

Yeah. I'm not an idiot. I need a cookie right now. Okay, babe. We've got a dog now. How do you think we're going to introduce this dog to our baby? I mean, I already told certain friends that are like dog people. I'm like when you come over postpartum, just like make sure you show pretzel extra love and like play with her.

Yeah. Because obviously she's probably going to feel like a little little. less attention. But I'm also really glad that we have her for our toddlers. Like, they're going to have a lot of fun still with her. They play with her all the time. I like how they've incorporated her into their play. Literally today, they're playing a game with her.

And they're like, no, pretzel, that's not how we play it. Like, they think that she knows English. What was the game? It was with, he were stacking water bottles and she kept knocking them down. It was just dumb. I think it's funny that oftentimes I'll be a monster and chase them. And then sometimes pretzel will get to be the monster. But I don't know if I don't think pretzel really knows that she's the monster, but she is

Um, so that that's hilarious. I think we'll probably just like when, I mean, a lot of our, we have nieces and nephews and then also a lot of friends with babies that come over to our house. Yeah. Like we sometimes just like let her get a sniff in and then we have to really pull her back because she's a puppy still. She's very eager and excited. The tricky thing is teaching her how to appropriately swim in a pool because she's such a great swimmer.

she loves the water, but when our kids are in the water, she's, she's, like, she's scratched me before when she's swimming. She's doggy paddling. And so, like, I've told them to, like, you know, keep your distance from pretzel. Don't, don't get in her line of fire. She needs to be a solo swimmer. But, yeah, it's tricky to, to navigate the whole swimming with a dog thing because she just kind of scratches you, you know?

Good thing we're not putting our baby in the pool for a while. Yeah, the baby's not going in the pool. Actually, you know what? What? He probably could because it's so warm. You're right. But there's a lot of chemicals for their little skin for a little bit. We'll have to just look what's recommended, but it's the great temperature for a baby right now.

Probably not right away, but yeah, I mean the water. That water is probably about the same temperature as my womb. Yeah, it's warm. It's warm water for sure. Did you hear actually at our appointment, the lady when she was measuring our amniotic fluid? She was like, they only need like two centimeters. to breathe. To breathe through that.

I mean, obviously they're getting oxygen also from the umbilical core, but I was like, that is crazy. There doesn't need to be that much fluid in there. I feel like I don't have that much fluid. Like, I got a lot fluffier, not fluffier, but like more swollen. Okay. With my first pregnancy than my second. And then this one, I feel like I'm like less, I'm definitely still swollen. but not like I was the previous one.

So I feel like your body just adjust, like gets used to pregnancy more. I was watching a video from our first, you know, first time around you were pregnant with Griffin. You looked completely different. I mean, I'm definitely feeling like in these last few weeks, like definitely more so, which I don't care. But it is crazy, though, how every single pregnancy is different. Every single pregnancy is different. Yeah. Every single baby's different.

Yeah. It's going to be. so interesting to see how, like his little personality type. Like in my head, I feel like I already know him. Obviously, I'm like, he's really chill and he's really funny. Those are like the two things that I'm like locked in on. He's a chill and funny dude. Um, but that was actually funny. His, all of his measurements are very consistent with like 56 percentile. I think his head was a little smaller, but they also said it's kind of hard for them to measure the head when he's already like kind of engaged on there. But they did say he has a big belly.

And I was like, his belly is like 90th percentile. I was like, that's amazing. He's getting a lot of nutrients in there. That's the other thing. I can't be bothered to cook anymore. I don't want to do it. I know. We've been getting some good takeout.

Been getting salad and go. That's a local spot in Arizona. I haven't had salad and go once. You've just been getting salad. I go to salad and go a lot. Where have you been getting your food? I've been eating a lot of leftovers, but I've been making you grill like every night. Oh, yeah.

I mean, grilling is easy, though. We got shake shack one night. Shake shack. is so good. We're mooching off of our friends because we have a birthday party like every evening. So I'm like, well, eat whatever they have at the birthday party. That'll be fun. We're scavengers. Our fridge is empty. Okay. No milk. Abby. Nothing. I like, I just had a realization moment today. I, I seriously feel like a month ago I was saying out loud to our family, what to be so cool when our kids, CJ and August are like grown.

up and can play together. Like this is before they're even alive. This is while they're in the womb. Like I just remember verbally saying this and saying to my parents, wow, this is going to be crazy that Caleb's going to have a kid and I'm going to have a kid that are just like basically the same age. And now they're best buddies. And now here we are where they're best buddies and they're both turning three. Like it just that all the cliches, all the wow, they grow up so fast. Like that's so true. And I'm finding myself saying all the same stuff. My parents said when I was a kid. You know, okay, when you're a kid and you go to a party like some with with family or or even friends and you haven't seen people in a year,

every single time, what did people say to you as a kid? It's such strong. Did you just get hit with a contraction? It's actually really strong. Was it a kick? No, it's a contraction. A contraction! What, how, and it's just your uterus.

I'm like, I'm so over this. How would you describe it? Let me feel. Whoa. Holy cow. Abby. Do you, please tell me you actually feel that. I can feel it.

This is why I, I'm so tired. I'm so, and this is what's hitting you at 1 a.m when you're trying to sleep. No wonder you have to take Unisome to knock yourself out. I'm just glad that's pregnancy safe. The Unisome, there'd be no way for you to sleep with this. It still wakes me up.

Is it still going on? This has been a longer one. How long does it last? How many seconds is that going on for? Still going on. I feel like this is a long one. Normally, they're really short.

Goodness. And you're just feeling it. Is it just pushing? Is it just pushing baby down? Like, do you just feel the baby going, er? I don't, sometimes it feels downward,

but more than anything, it just feels like it's just like closing it on itself. That's why I'm like, my uterus needs to take a break because she's susceptible to a rupture. So I'm like, take it easy, girl. This isn't real.

It's like, literally, it keeps sounding these alarms. Like, it's like it's time to go. Oh, and then people keep saying, now you're not going to know when it's time.

It's like, no, I'll know because then they'll be consistent and they'll hurt. Yeah. They'll be like a steady amount apart, you know. Are you nervous for the V-back? Um, I think I'll be nervous once we like go to the, like, it's actually go time. Yeah.

I think right now I'm just kind of like, I always say that's the blessing of the end of pregnancy. You're so uncomfortable that like labor sounds delightful. Yeah. That it sounds like a better option than continuing as you are, you know? Have you changed your mind on the epidural at all? What was my mind? I feel like you were team get the epidural. Yeah, I'm still taking me have the epidural.

And for a little bit, you were like, maybe I don't want to. I think I'll probably still wait until the goal is to get it when I'm like six or seven centimeters dilated. I did find it hilarious. Ardula was like, which, you know, I respect this thought process of like it's natural to not have the epidural and just go in natural. Like I respect that. but I did find it funny when our own doula was like, I will say though, I got the epidural and it was pretty freaking awful. I know.

And I'm like, all right. I saw someone today. They're like, this is like when people ask about my birth plan, this is what I tell them. And it's like, you know the game The Sims? I never played that. But it's like this was my plan. It's like, she's like, it's like this video game character.

We're not to put this on the screen because I'm not going to describe it well. She's like pregnant and then she like turns around and then she's like skinny and holding a baby and it was like it was like yeah that's my plan i just want to she's like this was what it sounds like your birth plan is i'm like yeah i just want to have fun i want the baby to come yeah i want it to be redemptive and i want to have fun so let's just let's just let it be that way i don't know i think i'm just like whatever will be will be will be casera sarah right what does that mean? It means whatever will be will be.

The future is not ours to see. That's the definition of that. Please tell me you know the song. How do you sing that? Ksaas, sarah, whatever will be. Is this from musical? You're kidding me.

You don't know this song. Addie, do you know this song? I've been singing this before. I've heard you sing it. I've heard you sing it or I've heard you say it. I don't know if I've heard you sing it, but I don't know what's what it's from. It's just a,

famous song. The man who knew the man who knew too much. Have you seen the movie? No, it's just a famous song. Did your grandpa teach you this? No. How did you learn this?

I think my mom did. You want to bring her in here? This episode's gone off the rails. I don't want to do this. I don't want to work. Yeah. Okay. By the way,

Let me out of here. If you guys didn't know, Abby will be taking a maternity leave. She'll be taking some time off from the podcast. Her friends will be joining her podcast. We've already filmed enough of unplanned so then yeah we've had some super cool guests on the show so very excited for you guys to get to see who those special guests are um but in case someone's like oh my gosh how am i gonna get through wednesday without you guys you still can we'll just have some cool guest episode we need

to practice right here on the podcast what are you going to say when i'm in labor but i don't have the epidural or if the epidural doesn't work like it should like it did the first time um i'm gonna say your body knows exactly what it needs to do yes that's a good one i'm gonna say that you're with each contraction you're one step closer to meeting our baby that's a good one and I'm gonna say you're badass I'm gonna say you're that's that's great I want to hear that I'm gonna say go go go go and then I'll play like rap music that would piss me off okay rap music would piss me up I like to listen to like I like to listen to throwback worship music yeah that like is like chantee yeah like give me an example you call me out before

No, that's too slow. That's too slow. No, I need one that's like, my God's not dead. He surely a lot. Yeah, that one. From heaven of love with me. Yeah, that's the kind of thing I need.

So start playing that. That helped me a lot, actually. That's what I was listening. Just put it in my headphones and just let me be like, throw back Christian. Yeah, that's what you like. Not just throw back Christian, throw back worship.

And then also I just want you to just say good job. Yeah. I really feel like that's something that really resonates with me. Like say it right now. Good job. No, say, no, say like you're doing a good job. You're doing a good job. No, but say like you mean it.

You know what I, do you know. This is good that we're practicing this because I don't want to do this when I'm in a. Yes. Okay. So let's review. I'm going to be saying, I'm like, eh, hey, babe, with every contraction, you're one step closer to meeting our baby. Mm-mm.

Not. You're. No, it's got to. have more of like a breathy like you practice you pretend that you're me right now oh my uterus ah mm-mm okay i'm not gonna be talking okay and then i don't be like okay that hey you're doing you're doing a really good job good job you're so strong i'm proud of you that's what i want to hear i want to be like good job like a coach okay i'm writing this down right now so we've got like when i'm done with a contraction i want to hear good job like a football

ball coach. Things to say to Abby while she's giving birth. You can even throw in there like a good job, good job. I was going to say buddy, but that just doesn't feel right. Okay. Okay. Well, yeah, why buddy? Why would you want that?

I feel like if you were to say breathe, that would really piss me off for some reason. Why would me saying breathe piss you off? Because I'm like, well, duh, I have to breathe. Okay, so don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything. Don't say anything that's just like obvious. Yeah. But then like why is saying good job?

Like why is that so obvious though? You're doing such a good job. Saying you're doing such a good job that would make you feel really good. You're doing such a good job. Yeah. And also just so you know all of this is susceptible to change. Change. You could completely decide in the moment like shut up.

Maybe I want silence. I don't want to hear any of that. I actually did see that. That's how I feel about touching. Like touching is sometimes good and touching is sometimes really bad when you're in pain. I honestly just think I was like nervous because there was so much blood. and I had never seen you in so much pain before that I was going, Abby, you're so strong, you're so brave,

you're so strong, you're so. And I thought I sounded annoying and everybody in the comments on our birth vlog was like, those people have not experienced super pubic pressure. They haven't, but they were all like, wow, my husband was saying that it pissed me off. No, I like that because you couldn't be next to me. They pushed you to the side and then they were jumping on my belly.

Thank you to Lisa for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. We recently gifted my parents a new mattress. I was hearing that my parents were having difficulty sleeping. There's just nothing quite more important than a good night's rest to properly set you up for the day ahead. Lisa mattresses do just that. They have a lineup of beautifully crafted mattresses tailored to how you specifically sleep. Each mattress is designed with specific sleep positions and feel preferences in mind. From night one, you'll feel the difference.

Premium materials that deliver serious comfort and full body support. No matter how you sleep. Just take the Lisa's sleep quiz and you'll find your perfect. match in two minutes or less. Something else I really appreciate about Lisa is that the experience is super user friendly. It arrived right at their doorstep. There's literally no setup. You just open it up. The mattress grows and it's perfectly comfortable, ready to go. Not a huge hassle like some deliveries can be. Go to Lisa.com for 25% off select mattresses. Plus get an extra $50 off with promo code unplanned. Exclusive for our listeners. That's L-E-E-E-S-A.com promo code

unplanned for 25% off select mattresses, plus an extra $50 off. And when you use our code, you're supporting our show. Lisa.com promo code unplanned. It is funny though how like what for one person could be really encouraging words for another person could be like... I know a lot of women like rap music and like during when they're in labor, I didn't want that. That's not you at all. Like what about like Justin Bieber? I don't think that's me.

Yeah, not you. Not me. Also, this was when it was like getting intense. Or I could pretend. And then I wanted hypno birthing in my ears. Yeah, because then you listen to the hypno birther and she's like, with every breath, you're one step closer. See, it's crazy that you're saying that because in my head she wasn't talking. What?

I was like, I was legitimately hypnotized. Mama, just breathe and know that with every contraction, you're one step. step closer to meeting your baby. See, like that right there is doing something right now. My body, speak these words. Let them overwhelm your body. See, right now you're actually transporting me. Your body knows exactly what I used to do.

That's what I'm saying. I think that's good. It's such a calming voice. Put that on to. Would that piss you off if I try to do that calming voice? I don't mean you doing that. Okay. That's for her. We'll put on the hypno-birth lady.

So we have three skills right now that you know. Okay. And then here's what I want you to do as far as physical touch. I want you to do that magical thing that the Dula taught you. you with my hips. Yes, yes. The squeeze. Yes, right, relieve the pressure on the hips.

But also when it's like not that intense, but it's like early labor, I just want you to put with my hair. That feels so good. Okay. And then, yeah, that's probably it. Maybe in between contractions, give me a drink of water, some ice.

We already lost the freaking birth combs that the lady gave us. So she said she was going to bring some to the hospital with us. Dang it. How did we lose those? Honestly, I blame our kids. I don't think we lost them. I think they played with them and put them somewhere that we can't find.

They do look fun. Or it was pretzel. Maybe pretzel ate the birth cones. Probably. Pretzel ate your shoe today. Yeah, our kids can do no wrong. That dog can do some wrong. That dog has ruined.

You know what I saw? I didn't tell you this. I caught our dog chewing up our rug again last night. After I took a shower. I caught her on the freaking dining table like a billy goat. Did you know that twice? Two times? She was on our table.

Standing there just like. Was she eating food off the table? There was no food on the table. She was on the dining table. Yeah. Why? She's a billy goat. Was there a toy up there?

She's anything but a dog. She's a goat. She's an otter. She's a billy goat. She's an otter. She's a hound. She's a hound. Yeah.

That is hilarious. Wait, so do you feel prepared now for labor? Like, do you feel like you know what I need? Do you know what I want? I think I do. Don't ever touch my belly. Don't touch your belly. Okay.

Wait, why not? Because I don't even like it when you just felt that contraction. and your hand lingered for too long. Really? Because my skin is stretched so tight that it's just like you might actually rupture it. Goodness. Okay.

I've got that written down. You're not actually going to do that, but. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I'll do whatever you want me to do. Here's the thing. I actually feel like I do need to say this. Yes. And this might need to get cut.

But I just need you to know this while it's on my mind. Okay. I know that when I'm in that gown, I'm not going to have a bra on or underwear on. And I know that you're going to know that. And I know that you can, absolutely. Abby,

you really think I'm being handsy? I think you might. I think you might. You think you might. You think it's being handy while you're giving birth? I don't trust you with my boots.

You think I am. I don't trust you with my boobs. With your. And here's the thing that actually made me so mad that I think about a lot. At the hospital, they didn't let me wear a sports bra. And I wanted to because I knew that they were going to leak.

Okay. Because whenever my boobs are free, they just decide to just like, I don't know, release something. Especially in labor. Okay. And they were like, no, you can't.

They told me that. I couldn't wear a bra. Crazy. And I was like, please. And so then when Griffin's born in all those pictures, my boobs were just like wet circles. And I just felt,

I don't like that stimulation. I don't like that touch of my nipple on the gown. And I had it. And so I just need you to know that. Yeah, yeah, of course. There's no touching the belly.

No touchy. The boobs. Certainly you're not going to want to touch down there. Only the hips. Only the hips. Only the hips. Yes, that's right. And only touching her baby to the lip or the baby.

My hair, remember you're just like doing that. I'm writing that down. I've got a do not list. Don't touch anything else. Do not touch Abby's belly, boobs, or what was the other thing? But? But, no touching your butt. But if I'm touching your hips, though, that's basically your butt.

No. I'm literally touching your butt when I'm doing the hips crease. Yeah, and when you, yeah, that's the problem is sometimes at night when you're doing that to relieve pressure, your hands drift. And that's not what it's about. It's not what it's about even a little bit. Okay. So I have do not touch belly, boobs, butt.

Do touch hips and hair. Hips, hair. You can actually even scratch my back. That sounds fine too. Back scratches are welcome. Yeah. What else? And just remember what to say to me and what to play.

You're doing such a good job. With every contraction, you're one step closer to meeting her baby. Yes. You're doing such a good job. I like that. I like that. Say you're so tough. You can say that.

I liked earlier when you said you're a badass. I think that would be good. You're a badass. I'm putting that in all caps. And then if I, here's a good way to tell Matt. A bad ass. If I,

if I look at you like. But no touching your ass. Just saying that you're bad. What? Don't confuse that. Yeah. No, if I look at you like this,

like, then that's like knock it off. Knock it off. And it's not even like, not, I don't even make a joke about knocking it off. Just like instantly change your behavior. Okay.

And then if I look at you and I kind of just gave you one of these, like a little bit, that means that was okay, but it doesn't mean do it again. Yeah. Because sometimes if I smile at you, you get really excited. Just do it over and over and over. But you could bring it up again later. Wait, what am I allowed to bring up again later? If I smile at you and you like crack a joke. But if it's a joke that's, I'm like, I don't want to hear that right now, then I'm just going to look at you like this.

Got it. Or I'm not going to look at you at all. Okay. Okay. This is good. I feel like I'm glad we hash this out because. I just don't want to harbor resentment in those times. I agree.

Oh, and don't get on your phone. No being on the phone. And if you get food, don't bring it around me. Don't bring the food. No food around you. And don't take a nap. Unless given permission. This is really good.

Like, no, I'm glad I have. I feel like this is like the blue frit. He likes explicit instructions. It's so helpful. So this is good. We're setting the expectations for the birth. I'm glad we're doing this. And I think that, oh, I do really want you to hold the baby.

Like, I want you to do skin to skin. while I get stitches. I don't want to hold the baby while I get stitches. I want you to hold the baby. Okay. I've got all this. They were trying to have me hold the baby while I was getting stitches and I was like, excuse me.

I'm hopeful this time that you won't tear and that you won't need to get stitches. You think you're going to tear? Yeah. Why do you think you'll tear? Because have you seen the size of a baby's head? Yeah, that's true. Have you seen the nature of where that's coming out of? Maybe, you know, I don't know.

No, you know what people do is they do those massages. To help? Yeah. They like try to stretch the area. Yeah. And I'm like, I actually am opting out of that. 85% of that. Here's just blowing my mind, okay?

Like 80, okay, 85, 90% whatever, tear? And guess what? That's not the worst part. What did ladies do hundreds of years ago? Like, they got stitches. But like, you're telling me that people knew how to stitch people up. Yes. Five hundred years ago.

Think about war. I guess you're right. But I guess people just died. Like, think about all the infection that could have happened. Yeah. Especially if you like tear to your butt and then that it's all mixed up in there. Seriously. That's awful. That's why I know that women are tougher.

I do think you probably. Yeah, I would say you have it harder than me. I gotta stop talking. Giving birth is pretty pretty crazy. No, but it's like I'm excited to do it. Like I'm pumped. I'm amped. Yeah.

Like I want to do it. Yeah. I want to do it. Like I'm like so for me like when we were talking with our deal about like what is like birth to you. Matt said trauma. I said game day. And so I'm like, it's like put me in. Because I feel like, it's true.

Like our bodies are uniquely created to do this. It's not like it's not supposed to happen. And yeah, I mean, I just hope that it would be really cool if it was just a first degree tear this time. That would be great. Yeah. And it sucked that when you got your stitches, they had to do it twice. You had to get them done twice. So that's not happening.

We're not, let's manifest that not happening this time. No, one time is enough. Yeah. We don't need that. Yeah. But you know what? I didn't have a ton. My recovery from that really wasn't bad either.

So I feel like this is better that you know what to do. The other expectation is that whenever the baby cries, you're bringing the baby to me, and I'm not getting out of bed to get the baby. And I feel like you know that one anyway. You already knew that. Oh, don't let them give the baby formula. Oh, yeah. Do not give baby formula.

We're not doing that. We're not doing that. Only if it's like we end up, like I feel like I could just. pump it out and we actually already have stuff. If a nurse tries to give our baby formula, I'm going to like walk up to, I'm going to smack it out of their hand. Get that out of here. I'm going to do that.

I'm going to yell that too. I think that would be good. Just to intimidate them, you know. Yeah, I think that would be good. Yeah. We'll just ask questions. She's going to be like, we're just supplementing the breastfeed. I'm like, if she's like, hey, their blood sugars are dropping, and it's like, hey, you

know what? My wife has prepared something for this exact occasion with her own breasts. she has made colostrum for this exact occasion. So that's good. The things that I... You really think I'm going to say that to a nurse? My wife... It's your baby.

With her own breasts has prepared colostrum for this very moment. So you don't need to be bringing any formula up in here. You want me to say that? You can just say we actually have prepared colostrum that we can do in this case. Okay. Sounds good. I can say that. Yeah.

And if a lactation consultant tries to grope me, what do you say? Oh, gosh. Because when the last time we worked with the lactation consultant, our baby kicked you in the C-section incision. Yep, that wasn't good. I almost yeated our baby off of the hospital bed because of such things. It felt like a hot knife entering my abdomen. Are you going to let, if we ever have a lactation consultant come in, are you going to let them see that you're using a nipple shield or no? I think this time I'm going to be my own lactation consultant.

Yeah. It's a third journey. Yeah. I feel like if anything, I would let them tell me what phalanche size is like my perfect size. Okay. Because that little template that we used the other day didn't feel the most accurate. That was dehumanizing. I didn't like that you saw that.

I actually felt embarrassed. Really? Yeah. Putting your nipple up to the different flanges. In it. It was gross. You're just finding something that fits your body. I almost can't make eye contact with you right now.

I'm a little embarrassed. Why? Because it was gross. I don't think it's gross. I think it's cool. I'm like, those girls are like 15 millimeter. I'm like, you're so cute. I need a big size.

Anyway, thank you to ChiliPad for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Boy is it hot in Arizona. Oh my gosh. So hot. I don't know how anyone's doing it without a chili pad, if I'm totally honest. Now that we've switched to the chili pad, it's, I don't know how we can go back. It's so nice getting into a cooled bed and it's just, oh. And you wake up in the morning, you got the warm blankets on you, and then the bed is cold underneath you.

That's why we have to tell you about the chili pad 2.0 by Sleep Me, the most advanced version of the bed cooling system built specifically for people who are tired of waking up hot and sweaty. The ChiliPad 2.0 actively cools or warms your bed using water. It's basically a thermostat for your bed and water is key here. Fans in general move hot air around us. really do much for you, but the chili pad uses actively chilled water to cool the bed, actually pulling heat away from your body, and it works with your existing mattress, so no new bed needed. You guys should definitely check it out. We even have a discount for you. Visit www.sleep.me slash unplanned to get up to $250 to $5 off your chili pad 2.0 with code

unplanned. This special offer is available for the unplanned podcast listeners and only for limited time. Order today with free shipping and try it out for 30 days. You can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial. That's so convenient. Visit wwwsleepsleep. Me slash unplanned and never wake up hot and tired again. Everybody submitted some questions on my Instagram and the unplanned podcast Instagram. So if you're not following all of us on Instagram, what are you doing? Okay, get with the program. So our first question, this one comes from Brianna. It says, is Abby taking time off from both podcasts? I've actually already answered this. Yes, she is. She'll be taking a short or long, whatever you really want, honestly.

I'm taking two weeks off. Abby's taking two weeks off and we'll be having guest episodes on Unplanned. And then on Always Here, we'll have. Guest episodes that I'm in that I've just already filmed. They're pre-filmed. And then on Always Here, are there any pre-filmed episodes there? Yeah, there's pre-filmed and then there's one week that my friends are going to step in. Okay, so there you go. They've offered me more than two weeks. Yes, Abby's just, she's a workhorse. She, she's amazing.

Well, it just messes everything up. Yeah. And you're, you're popular lady. You're very, you know, people like being around you. I don't want to. I don't want to create more work for myself now. And I also don't want to create more work for other people. Yeah.

I know what you're saying. So there's that. This is from Kylie. She said, for Abby, any advice or hacks for being pregnant with other toddlers running around? What are you doing to help? Shows. Turn on. Turned on Disney's last baby.

I mean, that's, I got to be so for real because I feel like that is something that I actively feel guilty about at this stage. But I'm also like, I think, you know, we've kind of hit that point where our kids have grown up a lot. They, you know, they get a ton of play time in the day. They do play a lot. But there's periods of time where, like, you just have to get stuff done around the house. You have work that needs to be done. You're a working mom. It's also for safety because they will, they're the type of kids that will get into something.

Yeah. Like, we like to have some time where they're, you know, if we're in the kitchen cooking dinner and they're playing in the backyard, okay, if somebody gets hurt, we're going to hear them go, ah, and then we'll run back and go check on them to make sure they're okay. Yeah. But it's like, we can't just leave our kids unattended while we're filming a podcast or like doing some long extended period of work together. So, you know, having a movie on is. Well, they do a lot of activities too. But yeah, so much. We've had more show, they've had more screen time than usual for sure. Oh, yeah. But I think that's, but we're kind of, we're entering this transition where they're,

going to be in school. So we're weeks away from them literally being in school multiple days in the week. For three hours. Okay. Yeah. But I, I, my other, my real advice too, which has been my advice before I was pregnant, but this is especially helpful when I am pregnant is taking them out of the house. It's way better to get out of the house, even though it feels daunting. Yeah. And to let them play with other kids. So then you're not the one that's like constantly like feeling like you have to be their play buddy. Like we go to a lot of, since it's so hot in Arizona right now,

we go to a lot of play gyms and they like play with a ton of other kids. They run around. They get so sweaty and have so much fun. And so then it's, but it's not me. Like I'm literally, I'm surely plopped my booty in a chair.

Yeah. Like while they're playing. Um, and that's like, that's honestly my best advice. And also to just accept help if you need it. If you can. Like if there's people offering,

like to hang out. with your kids or to even just scheduling a play date, it offloads you once again being the play buddy. Yeah. And I do feel guilty about that because I'm like, man, I feel like I have not been as good about playing with my kids, but I do know that this is a short season. Totally.

And you have so much time, like you spend so much time with them. Yeah. So I don't know, them playing with other kids is also great for their development too. Oh, also reading books with them. That's something that they really like and I can do seated surely and I love reading books to them. This is from Caitlin.

said what is the hardest part about having kids uh probably just to transition i would say into into it i think your time isn't your own anymore that's probably i would say that's the hardest part is like your your time is not your own anymore yeah bingo um you just have to adapt to thinking about feeding them uh like their schedule you know yeah everything is kind of around their needs come first before years and like it's crazy how that goes into every area of your life like even like where like what we eat is also kind of determined by them like things like that um but also I think it's probably the one of the greatest things that you can like as a human experience and in this act of like selflessness yeah yeah I think and I just there's so much deep

purpose in having kids. This is from Stacey. She said, do your kids favor one parent and want them for everything? How do you handle it? I feel like for us, not the most. I feel like it's because we're so 50-50. Like, it's not like you're gone for the workday and I'm home with them all day. Like, we both handle work and home 50-50.

So I feel like they really don't have a preference. I mean, they definitely prefer me for more like if they're hurt or sick or sad. and they go to you more for like play and just anything exciting. They go for me whenever they need a bad guy to chase them around or a lightsaber duel buddy. That's me. I'm always a bedtime guy. You're so good at it. Anytime I'm traveling or away.

Yeah, your bedtime stories could use a little. What's wrong with my bedtime stories? They're not PC. Oh, gosh. There's a lot of fart jokes. Yeah. A lot of poop jokes. my bedtime stories, but that makes them laugh.

Yeah, but do you understand, like, our kids are going around saying poop and to and all this stuff, and, like, other kids' parents are like, we don't say that. Like, how often does that happen? Not to our kids, but they're correcting their own kids for those things that you're telling them in their bedtime store. What's wrong with that? I don't have a problem with it either, honestly, but sometimes. They think it's hilarious.

Sometimes I'm like, maybe they don't need to just go up to another random kid and say poopy-tootie but. You think it's funny and that's crazy. Because I can just see the other kids parent be like, that's inappropriate. This is what I hear a lot. They're like, hey, we don't do potty talk. And I'm like, fair, that's fair. Why are we okay with potty talk?

I think that's so dumb. I guess that's just not a battle that we wanted to pick. Yeah, I think I like to have fun. And you kind of encourage it, honestly. I think it's fun to see your kids laugh and crack jokes with them. So I don't think it's a hill I'm going to die on as our kids say. No, you're like actually encouraging it, though, which is another step further when you really think about it. What would your thoughts be on having?

This is from Drote Dog. They said, what would your thoughts be on having twins? I'm curious as I'm a twin myself. You know, that would be crazy, but I'm sure we would figure it out, you know? Yeah, I feel like twins sound really fun when you're pregnant for the first time. And then any pregnancy after that, you're like, what a blessing. And you're like so scared. I feel like,

um, like, I feel like twin parents probably hear the most like naive comments. Oh yeah. Like they're like, well, we had them close in age. So it's like we had twins and they're like,

but you never had two newborns at the exact same. You never had to nurse two babies like at the exact. Like, or it's like, well, that's so nice that you not to kill two birds with one stone, got them out. It's like,

no, they literally were. pregnant with two full babies at one time. Yeah. Like that just, I just have so much respect for them. That's all I have to say. What's a parenting?

This is from authentically Angel. She said, what's a parenting hack that used to work for you that doesn't work anymore? Everything. The, the red light green light, their hatch. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, we used to, so like. We still try so hard. We have their night light be red when they have to stay in the room and green when they can come out, but they just kind of don't really abide by that rule. They kind of just do their thing. It's because they don't go in their pull-ups anymore. Oh, yeah, they like to go in the potty. Yeah, what are we going to say?

Like, don't go to the bathroom. That is a tricky thing because our kids, they found a loophole in our whole system because it's like stay in your room to the light screen and we have a program to like, you know, go off at a certain time. But then-6-45. It's not that much to ask for. I know. But then here's the thing. Every time it's just out. We always catch them outside of the room, but they're like,

oh, I'm going potty. And they actually do go potty. Do every time they can always make some come out. Yeah. They just, so I don't know. Half the time, I feel like they actually do need to go potty.

The other half, I think they're just effing with us. And so at this point, we just kind of are like, Fing with us. We're like, fine. I guess the light means nothing. Okay,

whatever. Like, it's good that you're learning to not pee in your pull up and you're peeing in the potty. So, yeah. Rip that parenting hack. Um, um, yeah.

So that's, that's where we're at people. Um, so many exciting things coming up for us. Uh, seriously like, can't, can't believe that we're coming up on 200 episodes of this podcast. I'm so excited to see you hold a baby shirtless again.

Really? Really? You're, you're into that? You think I'm, yeah. I look it with my shirt off? With a baby.

Thank you. It's a perfect combination. Really? Just baby with, with, it's like, yeah. I was about to say, yeah.

Okay. It's really, I like it. I'm also looking forward to seeing you shirtless with a baby as well. That's Animal Planet. That's not, oh, that is another rule. Wait, wait, we got to talk about this. You cannot touch me when I'm breastfeeding, and I swear to goodness if you try. Why?

What's happened before? I hate it. I hate being touched when I'm breastfeeding. What did I do? So many inappropriate things. Like, what? I tell me, what did I do? I just comment on just don't even look at me when I'm breastfeeding how about that

don't look at you maybe don't why not especially if I have a hook on where am I supposed to look away at what anything else okay I guess I touch me and don't look at me when I'm breastfeeding all right that's another thing we need to really lay up rain from ever touching or looking at you ever again when I'm breastfeeding when you're breastfeeding thank you're welcome everybody thank you again for tuning in for another episode of what I'm planned If you haven't left us a review or like subscribe to the podcast, we'd really appreciate that. Actually, a lot of people listen to this show but aren't subscribed and it's free to subscribe. So you can do that really easily.

And it's also free to leave review. It takes like five seconds. So let us know what you think, you guys. And we'll see you next time. Bye.