The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Micah and Sarah on waiting til marriage, divorce & miscarriage

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

Micah and Sarah join us for a candid conversation about love, loss, and everything in between. From saving sex for marriage to walking through divorce and miscarriage, they open up about the highs and lows of their journey—including how they met while performing on a Broadway tour. This episode is sponsored by Harrys, BetterHelp & Smalls. Harrys: Try Harry’s wash today for just $8 at https://harrys.com/unplanned BetterHelp: Visit https://BetterHelp.com/unplannedpodcast today to get 10% off your first month. Smalls: For a limited time only, get 35% off Smalls plus an additional 50% off your first order when you head to https://Smalls.com and use code UNPLANNED50. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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How many months took place between finding out your husband was gay and you guys started your relationship? Literally days. Oh I had all the intention in the world of saving it for marriage and then I didn't and so I was like I want to See what this relationship is without any physicality if it's your first time it's gonna be kind of awkward and that's okay You're like trying to figure it out. Yeah, I like to be upside down And that's okay. You're like trying to figure it out. Yeah, I like to be upside down. Today on the unplanned podcast, we sat down with TikTok couple Micah and Sarah. They are hilarious. You guys, if you haven't seen their TikTok videos, you're missing out. They're known for their comedy sketches, their dances, as well as relationship content. And they probably have one of the most

unique love stories I have ever heard of in my entire life. Lots of talk about in today's episode. I think you're going to love it. It was such a fun conversation. I hope it makes you laugh. I hope it makes you smile and maybe cry too. I don't know. We'll see, but enjoy. Thanks for being here. Micah and Sarah, welcome to Home Play. Hi. We're so happy to be here. Thanks so much for being here. We're so pumped. Thank you guys. I wanted to ask because I know you've already addressed this, but I'm still so curious. Are you guys siblings? Because I really think I really think cats out of the bag. Okay, we are not We just like talk about that I mean, I can't fault people like we look like

It's just, I mean, I can't fault people like we look like. People just sort of being like. Same color hair, same huge nose. Yeah, same prominent nose. Like, I mean, I think we just have a similar, we also did this TikTok where it was like, I don't know, like way back in the day where it would shift between like. Swap the face back and forth really quick?

Yeah. Oh. And then it like kind of goes back and forth. And there was like a trend where it was like husbands and wives doing it or whatever. And we did it. And the only thing that changed was my facial hair. Literally, hair getting longer, beard going away,

but the face was the same. Afterwards, we were a little shook. Oh my. So were your followers saying you guys need to get a DNA test just as freaky? Oh yeah, for sure. Did you do the DNA test for a video? No, we didn't.

But we like. That would be funny though. It would be funny. We should do that. We should do it. We should do it. We have to prove it because we talked to both our parents and they are, I mean, her whole lineage and stuff

are in Kansas, ours is in Wisconsin. I mean, we have a baby who's developmentally good. So maybe that means we're good. Well, you guys are the exception to the rule, right? Because sometimes if you marry your sibling, I mean, it works out, right? I mean, I'm not very good at jokes. I feel like that probably.

I don't know. I feel like incest is usually like, let's not. Maybe not joke about it. Maybe we don't go there. Isn't there a thing where it's like, you start to look like your spouse? No, I believe that. Somebody was saying how it's because like,

you guys live together so much and you laugh at the same things and smile. So your smile lines start to look similar and your face structure starts to look just a little bit more similar because you guys are like crying together, laughing together, doing a lot of things similarly. Maybe, or you start to mimic how people like laugh or smile

cause that you're when you're with. So, but we just happen to speed up that process Before we met and we just you know, we're like, oh, let's just marry we're just really vain Yeah, and we look you know, we're just like I just like, you know, you look like me. Yeah, you look good for you're attractive Yeah, that's how you knew that she was the one you saw her. Yeah, like I was like It's like looking in the mirror with longer hair. That's the one for me. This is a married woman that looks just like me. I'm one of her. Oh no, oh no.

Yeah, it's a wild story how we met. It is a wild story. Can we dig into that? Yeah, of course. I love these stories. I think they're so much fun. I had no idea. That's crazy.

I didn't know you were married previously. Yeah, it was a wild ride. My high school, I mean my college, like my college boyfriend. We got married right out of college and then he came out to me when I was on the Beauty and the Beast National Tour. Was he on the tour as well?

No, he wasn't. He was back at home, which is kind of I think what gave him the freedom to realize that he'd kind of been stuffing that down. So it was over the phone? No, he came in person. Oh, okay. I respect him so much for the way that he told me because he was straightforward as soon as he sort of was

like, okay, this is this is true and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie, even though it's gonna be very painful. I'm not gonna lie to her about it. He came in person. He told me and of course it was very hard and very painful, but I respected him so much for being honest with me because imagine he wasn't and we stayed married and we had kids and 10, 10. Told you what? Oh, that he's gay. Okay, I don't think you said that. Oh, I said he came out to me, I think.

Oh, you did say come out to me? I thought you meant come out as in like visited. Oh, no, came out. Well, he came out as gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had a very clear. How did he preface the conversation? Well, he was just acting very weird.

And he sort of started to like tear up and then was like, I literally literally said I think I'm gay. I like guffaw laughed because I was like you're joking, right? Was it something that had ever crossed your mind? No, not one time. Wow. Which people are like, I don't know. I find when people, because he was a performer, I was a performer, we met in dance college

but I think it's so insulting when people are like, well how could you have not known? Like he's a performer, and it's like, you weren't in my life, you weren't in my relationship. You don't know, like now it's very clear because he's changed a lot as a person. Because he might not have even known. Exactly, because he now is walking in his own truth. So he's a different person now than he was before

and in a great way. But no, I never had any inclination because we were in, we had so much fun, we had a great relationship. Why would I have the inclination that, I was like, we went to dance college. A lot of the guys there were gay, most of them were. So if you're gonna come out anywhere, there's a place to do it. Safe went to dance college. Like a lot of the guys there were gay. Most of them were. So if you're gonna come out anywhere, there's a place to do it.

Safe space to do it. So I would have thought that that would be where that would happen. Yeah. That's the typical thing that happens in the industry, in like acting and theater, well musical theater at least, for me. Like people thought I was gay for my whole life.

Same. Same thing. Same thing. I think I like once I got married and had a kid, like people were like, oh, okay, I guess he is straight. But I think it's just, I don't know. There's something about like maybe the industry or, but my personality, I'm just a little bit more.

I think if you have a like a goofy fun outgoing personality It's a very which is unfortunate that it's like straight men can't be goofy and fun. Yeah, that's sad Yeah, yeah, yeah You have to be like stoical. It's like what what so what's the line? Like what makes you straight? Yeah, it's not it's like do you have to be stoic? Like just like cars, trucks, sports, talk, you know, and then not be goofy ever. I would get made fun of by people that weren't in theater saying, dude, you're gay for doing theater,

you're gay for doing ballet. And the people in theater were like, Matt, you're too straight. Be like, be a little bit gay, dude. Like they would get mad at me. I'm like, I'm just my own person. Like I just be myself. Yeah, right. Do they tend to be a little gay? Yes, people used me. I'm like, I'm just my own person. Like I'm not just me. I'm not just me. Yeah, right.

Do they tend to be a little gay? Yes. People used to get on me like, dude, you're being way too much of a bro. And I'm like, I just, I like to snowboard and skateboard and then play volleyball. That's wild. Was this like early into marriage

or had you guys been married for a long time? We had been married for about a year and a half, but we were together for like five years before we got married. Wow. So we'd been together for a long time. We had been married for about a year and a half, but we were together for like five years before we got married. So we'd been together for a total of six, I think it was six and a half years that we were together in total. I feel like it's possible for you to be like

happy for him that he's now like living his truth, but then also be devastated that like your marriage is over. For sure. It was so many feelings that I experienced at that time. And I had to go on a whole journey of like, because it really rocked my self-image as far as like, oh gosh, like the person who was with me basically was like, I like everything about you except the physical part. And then I came in. So it's like, I like the physical part.

So, so it's like. I like the physical part. Yeah, that's a whole other story. But. We can get into that. It was, yeah, but it was like, I couldn't be mad at him because he wasn't trying, he wasn't doing it on purpose. He wasn't trying to hurt me,

but I was, I was still hurt, of course. Yeah. And so it was that I wanted, I wanted him to be happy, but it took me a while to get to the place where I was like, I had fully forgiven him for, I was just like, I invested this much in my life and now this is, it was like, at the beginning it was like,

well, it felt like it was for nothing. Almost like I wasted that time. Was there any idea of staying in the relationship? Was that ever like, there's no, immediately once he told you, you thought, okay, we have to go our separate ways. Yes, literally the moment he was like, I think I'm gay, I was like, well, certainly we're not gonna stay married

then, like that to me meant like we're splitting up. Yeah. It was the same, it meant the same thing. Yeah. Because then I was like, you know, then we talked about kind of like, well, how did you, it's like, how did you discover that? And he had met someone and they're married now

and I love his husband, His husband's an amazing guy. We just have a great friendship with them. And they moved out of New York in 2020, but they lived in New York. So we would like get dinner with them and have like, they're just, they're great people. So it was, but I had to forgive him for just, even though it wasn't his fault,

I still had to go on my own journey of forgiving him. And so going on that journey was difficult and it was just very hard because when I left for the tour, I left this life that I had. And it's like, I never went back to that apartment. Like the apartment that I left that was my home that I was building with my husband, I left it for the tour and I never stepped foot in it again.

You know, and that wasn't my plan. I wasn't expecting that to be the last time I ever saw that apartment. And I don't know, it was't my plan. I wasn't expecting that to be the last time I ever saw that apartment. And I don't know, it was just, I stepped back. When I came out of the tour, I stepped back into like a completely new life. And it was, it took some adjusting. It was, it was hard.

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Try Harry's body wash today for just $8 at harrys.com slash unplanned. That's harrys.com slash unplanned for a sniff of this incredible body wash. Do it. And my brother also passed away on that tour, so I just, it was a difficult year for me. Yeah, and like every night you're still on stage like having to, you were in Beauty and the Beast. I imagine it's like a high energy, big smile show under the bright lights.

I was grateful for the distraction. I feel like it was a healthy distraction where I could sort of process my grief for my brother, my grief for my marriage ending, like kind of on my own time. Those were like three months apart. Yeah, those were three months apart. Those things that happened. my grief for my brother, my grief for my marriage ending, like kind of on my own time. But then have- Those were like three months apart. Yeah, they were three months apart.

Those things that happened. So her brother passed right before tech or during tech? During tech, when we were teching the show, kind of at the beginning of the tour. And then three months later, my ex came to visit me and told me that he was gay. So I feel like it was a healthy, doing the show was a healthy distraction

because it sort of gave me like a clock on my processing where it would be like, okay, I like kind of worked through some of that and now I have to like put that on a shelf and go do my job and I still had fun doing my work, doing the show and so I feel like it was, I was grateful to have that as something because if I had just been like working at a restaurant, auditioning, I think I would have been much more miserable

because I wouldn't have even had a job that I was excited about among the difficult things that I was going through. So I was grateful for the job. And I feel like you also have a built-in community when you're touring with the show in a way, like people to talk to. Was there ever, I wonder if going through an experience

like that, if you ever felt shame in a weird way like describing your situation. Oh, yeah, absolutely I felt like I was an idiot like even though you shouldn't but like it's just emotions are so hard. No, I felt stupid Especially that's the other thing. It's like I mean, obviously this is not that common of a situation but like PSA if you ever meet anyone who has gone through that Don't say Well, yeah, I could have told you that he was gay. That's awful. Yeah, I could I could have guessed but like PSA, if you ever meet anyone who has gone through that, don't say, well yeah, I could have told you that he was gay. That's awful.

Yeah, I could have guessed. People actually said that to you? Yes, like oh, I could have guessed. Yeah, like oh, I thought that. I'm like, that's a helpful statement. Even if you think it, don't say it. It's like, you think I don't feel bad enough already? Yeah.

You don't think I feel foolish enough already, feeling like I should have seen something that I, you know, replaying all these different things, being feeling like I should have seen something that I, replaying all these different things, being like, should I have seen something? Could I have known? Could I have, you know, all of that? So yeah, it was hard.

It was a journey. I feel like it almost feel better if you could just label him in your brain as a villain, but you're like, I can't. It's like, I'm still a victim in a way of like a bad, like a terrible experience, but you're not the bad guy. That's like so hard to process, I imagine. But I also feel like life has a way of like

when it rains it pours, like it kind of gives you those hard seasons like just goes down hard, doubles down on you. And then you know, the light comes at the end, you're like okay, wow, glad that's behind us. And we learned so much. And so many good things have come out of that. Clearly your relationship is one of them.

So kind of talk about, like, Mad kind of touched on this, but she was married at the time y'all met. So. And you just knew, you were like, this girl, I'm gonna wife her up somehow. I don't know how. No, I like, on tour, she was the last person in our entire cast who I talked to.

Like she was just kind of like to herself, like during rehearsals, she would just do her work, do it great, and then would go and kind of go back to her life, or it wouldn't like hang out much. So she was like mysterious. And then I, then it was like what? One month into performances? I mean, yeah, I guess, yeah.

Cause it was after I came back from my brother passing away. Didn't talk to her, I didn't say a word to her through all of rehearsal, through all of tech. Didn't even realize how many times we were actually by each other during the show. And then like about a month or month and a half into tour into the shows, the whole cast went out to this restaurant or bar and there was this huge table and we were all sitting at it and I was sitting there and the only

seat available was one that was next to me and guess who came back. So she came by and sat next to me. I was like okay all right I guess like I'll meet this person who's been in our cast this whole time. And we just like hit it off. It was so easy to talk to her and she was so down to earth and we so we just chatted we ended up sharing food and it was great. I caught feelings real early but I was like shoot she is married. This was a little bit of a trend for me unfortunately but I like I would like fall for these girls that were in relationships and I know it's like a horrible thing but I don't know what I've gone through to therapy don't worry about it. I've worked through it. I've worked through to therapy, don't worry. I've worked through it. But, and so this happened and I remember calling my mom, I was like, mom, I like really like this girl

and we hit it off and she's like, that's great. She's like, she's married. She's like, that's less great. She's like, well, like you can't really do anything about that, you know, it's like, you kind of have to like let that go. I was like, I know. And then she, her brother passes. Her brother had-

That was after. Was it after? That was all after. That was all after? No, oh yeah, sorry. So that was after. Before her brother passed, who her brother had spina bifida,

lived for, he was like 25. And then, so she went home for tech, and then you came back, and there was like a quick little interaction that we had in the hallway where you came back, and I was like, glad to have you back, or something like that, and you're like, thanks. And that was it, and that was the extent of it.

So then later, come January, like three months later, she, you know, her husband comes out and then she was like telling me. And so then the rest of the tour, we just got to hang out and then get to know each other more and kind of like start this like, you know, potential. Yeah. So like an unhealthy distraction was like me. Yeah, it just like helped me bury, like bury my self image issues and like feel good about myself because I was like, oh, someone wants me. So I'm just gonna sleep with this guy

and have that be my, like what distracts me from like feeling like my self image is in the trash. So that was an unhealthy distraction, I would say. Yeah, it was pretty physical forward in the beginning. How many months took place between you finding out your husband was gay to Micah and you guys starting your relationship? Literally days.

Oh, really? Oh my God. That's why it was an unhealthy distraction, because it was just something to make me feel good. To make me feel better. Well you probably were like in one of the lowest places you'd ever been in your life with losing your brother and then finding out you're getting divorced. That's probably a horrible place to be in.

Yeah. You know, like, so for me, it was like, this is so bad to say, but it was like the best scenario for me, it was like, this is so bad to say, but it was like the best scenario for me because if her, like let's say her husband cheated on her with a girl, that's a totally different situation where it's like a lot, I think that would have been a lot more messy. Whereas this is like, oh, it's like there's nothing really

that you could do, nothing really that you could do, it's like kind of a thing. It is what it is. It is what it is and now you're free. And so like, and so we, yeah, it was like a pretty physical relationship in the beginning. Because before when I was married, we like, we were great friends,

but it was like clear there was a lot of chemistry. Clear there was so much chemistry that I felt the need to tell my then husband like, hey, I feel a little weird about this and I want to be straightforward about it. Oh, that's cool that you told your husband about having, like, you just thought Micah was cool and you're like, hey, I want to be upfront about this. Yes, because I was like, if I were single, I would date this person. Yeah.

And that just felt wrong to me. Yeah. Yeah. So we already had chemistry chemistry but I was just like Nothing can nothing can come from it. But if I were single it'd probably be different So then that's why it was like so rapidly like hmm. All right. Well, here we go Broadway tours is everyone just hooking up. Oh Showman showman says are definitely a thing.

What is a show manse? A show manse is, so in the show, like when you book a show, especially a tour, you are literally in a bubble for nine months, 10 months. And you're with the same people every single day on tour buses, on planes, in the show. So it just forces you to get to know each other. Yeah. And then naturally, people are, it's a lot of attractive people mostly. And, and so it's like,

well, let's have some fun during the tour. And so then a lot of like showmances happen. Maybe they, you know, where it's like boyfriend, girlfriend, we're the only ones that lasted after ours. Like there was like eight or 10. There were a lot of showmances on our tour, yeah. Most of the tour. I think there were eight. Yeah, I think there were eight. Eight showmances and like all of them ended within like a month or so after the tour.

That's why they're called a showmance because they don't last. Yeah, because generally it's like just for the duration of the show. And then a show and then it's done. Is everybody aware of that? Is that kind of the perception of we're gonna just kind of do this for now and then see?

Well, we literally asked too is like, is this just a showman's or is this more? And so we were very much like, let's see. We'll see how it goes when we're back in New York. Because it's almost akin to being on The Bachelor. That's what I was thinking of. Where you're in a totally separate environment. You have a job that you're excited about,

you're making money, you're not worried about like paying your rent, paying your bills, you don't have the normal worries when you're on a tour. So it's sort of like you're in an alternate reality, so then it's like okay well what is our relationship when life is not so easy anymore, and we're not together like in the same place every single day.

And we're back to like reality basically. Yeah, so then what is our, can our relationship stick it out when things aren't quite so smooth sailing? Or if we need to be like, I don't know, a little more emotionally intimate with one another if we're gonna have a long term relationship. Are we, yeah, is that something that we can actually do and build or was it really just kind of like

more surface level just works for the time and that's that. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I don't know why there is a stigma around mental health, especially for men, because if you're a guy, you do have feelings, you should talk about them. And what better place to talk about your feelings than with a therapist and with BetterHelp, you can meet with a therapist from the comfort of your own home. If you don't like your therapist, you can switch free of charge at any time. No questions asked

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Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash unplanned podcast. That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash unplanned podcast. That must be really stressful going from show to show and when your show ends, you don't have a job. Yeah. Yeah, that's the industry. That's the show.

It's a stressful industry. That's entertainment, baby. That's why you truly have to love it and be passionate about it. Because if you don't, if you're somebody who's entertainment, baby. That's why you truly have to love it and be passionate about it. Because if you're somebody who's like, yeah, I think I'm gonna try this out. You're probably not gonna make it because it's really hard and it's not lucrative

and there's just no stability in it. And so, yeah, I mean, that kind of, which made it, I mean, that kind of like goes into what we, we ended up pivoting because we were kind of in that place. Well, but before that, like, so we get back to New York and we're like, okay, let's see what this relationship is. We broke up for 24 hours one day because she went out, she got booked another tour, she went on the ELF tour

and she was gone and I was like going through my unhealthy pattern of being like, oh, I don't know if she's the one. There could be somebody more perfect. There could be somebody that's better in this way. And that was the game that I played for like, like relationship after relationship. And I would have done that for the rest of my life,

I think, if I didn't, if we didn't go to counseling, uh, or big, big advocates of counseling. Uh, we talk about on our podcast a lot just cause it just like saved our marriage before we even got married because I was just in this unhealthy pattern. And so right. So then, so she, uh, was on tour. They had like a Christmas party. Oh yeah. We had a Christmas party on a boat where like some beverages were had.

You were on the Elf tour? Yeah. That's so awesome. We saw Elf in December on Broadway. Oh so fun. And that's such a high energy. It's a really high energy show. Yeah, it was very fun.

But yeah, got a little inebriated at the Christmas party. I'm sure the Elf party goes crazy. And then. And you dropped him. And then FaceTimed, no he. No. Oh you dropped her. Well I don't even know, how, I don't know.

We were FaceTiming. We were FaceTiming. Yeah so she was a little tipsy and I was like, you know like. Oh my gosh this was so annoying. I mean I'm annoyed at myself even thinking about it. But it was like, I was like, I mean if you don't know if you wanna get married soon, I don't know if this is gonna work out.

It was totally just a thing I wanted to say to like get out of it, basically. What dude is like, I wish you wanted to get married sooner. Like you're pushing me away by not wanting to get married. I'm like, we've been together for like, not even a year. A couple months or a few months. Yes, not even a year. A couple months or a few months. Yes, not even a year, and we got together

in an unhealthy way. Why would we even be thinking about that? I was so annoyed. By the way, was the divorce final at this time? I think, yeah, I think so. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I have her, like, give me a minute.

Yeah, just hold on. Oh, I know, oh, I know. But it was just kind of you trying to push her away so you could just move on. Yes, it was me trying to push her away, like, for her to, instead of, instead of, excuse my French, but instead of having the balls to just be like, hey, break it off myself, I wanted her to say it

so that I wasn't the person to do it. And so then she was like, well, what's the point of, basically you were just like, what's the point of this anyway, then, like, like we should probably just stop. And we both hung up. We both cried our eyes out afterwards. And then the next morning, she like texted me being like, Hey, like, can we talk about this in person where we're both sober and I'm like, not away so that we can actually have this discussion.

And then when she came back to Elf, it was kind of like the same time. Back from Elf. Back from Elf. We just met some people that connected to some mentors and some counselors that we started like working with and talking with and that seriously like completely changed our relationship.

Just like they helped fill gaps that we were missing, patterns like unhealthy patterns that we were kind of like living in and continue to repeat. We did premarital counseling and then when was that? And we just did like individual, like I had a lot of trauma I needed to work through in order to be healthy enough to like be a proper partner to someone.

So I needed to do counseling for that anyway. And that was huge in my healing. And then, I wouldn't recommend this either. We ended up getting roommates. So it was six of us, and this is New York by the way, so this is what you do to save money. So it was us and like four of our best friends that it was a couple, a guy, I mean one of our friends, and then my brother, and then us in a four bedroom, two bath, and we all got this apartment, lived in it for, yeah, so there was a couple in one,

a couple in another, and then my brother, and then friend. Wow. Everybody has a bedroom. Is this a four bedroom? Couple has a bedroom. Four bedroom. Couple has a bedroom. Four bedroom, four bedroom, two bedroom.

We were still, we were dating at the time. Oh, this was the other thing that made us, that made you be like, I don't think this is gonna work, because I forgot this part. So right after tour, so I grew up Christian, and I'm still Christian and you know, I'm still Christian and like, and so, but I had kind of like Christian guilt whenever we slept together because afterwards I would just like feel bad and like evil and sinful and all, you know, like all that stuff. And that's a typical dude. I think it is. It's like, it's like, I shouldn't do it, but it feels really good. It's a typical dude. I think it is.

It's like, it's like I shouldn't do it, but it feels really good. And so like, yeah, like I like, I had all the intention in the world of saving it for marriage and you know, and then I didn't. And so then, so, but then what ends up happening is like, you don't, and then you don't. And then once that happens, you break the seal and you're just like, well, I'm a piece of crap. So I guess I might as well just continue and so that was kind of where my mindset was at but then the tour ended and

We got back to the the city and I was like, okay. I like actually see a future with you I really care about you and before her my longest relationship was in high school and that was nine months and That was the longest relationship I was ever in. And so I was like, I wanna see what this relationship is without any physicality. And so we went literally from sleeping together to zero. Like barely even kissing.

Like barely even pecking on the lips. But you're sleeping in the same bed. Sleeping in the same bed. How the frick did you guys pull that off? So that's the part where I wouldn't recommend is I would not recommend rooming together and sleeping in the same bed when you make this decision. Because that's what we did, we ended up rooming.

So with all these roommates, we're in the same bed, in a full bed, not a queen, a full. In a full bed. We're almost very close together. Bro, you're cheek to cheek in there, man. There's no space. I know. You kinda got pregnant by accident.

I know. You shuffle too much in the night. That's really quark. That's really crazy. But, so we did that and we made that decision and how long was that until we got married? It was like three years. It was three years.

Oh my word. You guys were insane. We dated for three years and then got married. Pause. What was your reaction when he was like, okay, I know we've been active in this way, like we're putting the lid on it. Yeah.

I was like, great, another gay guy. Oh. Literally that was my thought. You were seriously, yeah. That was my thought. Not really, but I was like, great. I mean, it has to make you question. Someone else, someone else who literally is like,

everything is great, but nothing physical. And I'm like, what the frick is wrong with me? Like, why does no one want me physically? And honestly, I mean, looking back, it was the best thing that ever could have happened because it allowed me to work through so many, like, strongholds I had in regards to where my value came from.

And being like, I do not need someone else to find me physically attractive for me to be valuable. And so I needed to realize that I was attaching my value to that and then have the time to like, saw it, cut that off. Yeah. And so it was amazing for the health of our relationship, the health of my relationship with myself.

But at the time it was annoying. It was really annoying. I was peeved. How old were you guys? She was like. In our late 20s. You were in your late 20s? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, 26 and 27-ish. Yeah. Was this the value that you held before? Yeah, but also similarly, like was like well. You're like, I've already been married and like. Well, it's already happened.

Okay. So now what am I gonna do now? Initially she was peeve. And I actually didn't have the same kind of guilt that he did. Like I didn't experience that kind of like shameful feelings afterwards. I just didn't, I don't know why, but I didn't. Well also you'd been married too.

So I'm sure your like background is different than you. I mean, it's probably weird to go from being married to then not being married and then you're with somebody, but you're not with them. That must be a really weird middle place. That willpower's in three years in the same bed. Yeah, and in the beginning, we found some loopholes. Aren't we all good at the loopholes?

Where it's like everything but. Yeah. Have you guys heard of so big? But that was only for like what, a month? Yes, I've never done it though. Oh my God. What, never done what? No, you guys know what soaking is? Yes, I do, I do.

I can't believe in it. No, we've never done it. I can't believe it's a thing. I think it's a myth, but if you don't know, if you are an adult person, To cope, I have to believe it's a myth. You should look it up, it's hilarious. I mean, don't look up, like look up the dictionary

definition, it's probably urban, it's probably like an urban dictionary thing. Yes, probably urban dictionary, there you go, that's good. And then block the site afterwards. And delete your search history. Yeah, clear it. Yeah, no, we never tried that. But we did, like, so we were doing everything else.

When you're being asked, it's amazing how creative you can get. Like it's amazing the stuff people come up with. I know, and like, and the justifications you do in your mind for the things. And that's what we were doing for, I don't know, it was like a month or maybe two. It was a few months.

Yeah, and then I was like, okay, like if we're gonna actually do this and commit to it, like let's actually do it. And so we like didn't even make out basically for three years. Yeah, totally. Cause it would, yeah, it would just escalate things. So it was like, good night.

Literally. Wow. Tiny peck. We're thinking about getting a cat. That's what I was gonna say. Are we thinking about it or am I thinking about it? Cause I'm thinking about it. I think I said it and then you were like, oh my gosh, that's a great idea. And what I was gonna say. Are we thinking about it or am I thinking about it? I think I said it and then you were like oh my

gosh it's a great idea and then I got cold feet. Oh my gosh the story of our freaking life you guys. We went to our friend's house and they have two beautiful cats and our kids were obsessed with them. So I don't know it's very very tempting and so it might be in our near future and I just know that if we do decide to add a little feline to our household, we will be going with Smalls for sure to feed that precious little animal. We are so glad to know about Smalls.

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unplanned50 for an additional 50% off your first order. Plus free shipping at Smalls.com. Should we get a cat comment down below? I feel like viewers listening to this would then have the follow-up question. So then you get married three years later and now the lid's off again. Is it awkward? Is it weird? Is there still shame attached to that type of thing? Totally. Yeah, yeah. That's a great question. Yeah. I think there definitely was like a transitional period of that then becoming a part of our relationship again. Because we had spent all that time,

like not having to- Suppressing that. Yeah, like not having to even think about that. And we did have to, like when we were doing like our counseling, we did have to talk to, we talked to our counselor about it being like, why does it feel so awkward? Because it did feel kind of awkward.

And he was like, because it is. Like the whole, he was like, you know, just media and our society makes it seem like, you know what people see in the movies, it's like that's how it's gonna be every time. And he was like, and it's not, when it's like your first, theoretically, like if it's your first time with someone,

it's gonna be kind of awkward, and that's okay. And there's- You're like trying to figure it out. Yeah. Figure out what, what, you know, different things. Yes. And so he was like, I like to be upside down. No, I'm kidding. Like we Batman. We had to figure it out and we had to learn how to communicate about what we liked, what we want, all those things, which can be very awkward. So yeah, that was a, it was a process of like working that back into our relationship and not becoming comfortable again. When you get married as somebody in the entertainment industry, does it feel like

your career shifts in a way? Because when you're with somebody, you have to prioritize them. You can't just say, if you want me to go like tour and all this stuff, you'll never see you. Like how did getting married affect your career path? Cause you guys had been doing tours. I think, I mean, right? Doing cruise ships,

doing all different sorts of performance paths. How did that shift your career? We kind of, it was the first time that, I don't know, it's so funny because I was married before, but we were both performers, and so it was just like the understanding that we would take the gigs that we had to take, and that was that. Yeah.

But it was the first time that we really started, that I had a conversation with someone about like, okay, what is the actual vision that we have for our life? Like, do we like the lifestyle that this provides? Or not? And if not, then how do we get a lifestyle that we actually want? And I know we love what we do, but what outcome is it providing for us? And is it something that we want long term? So once we started talking about that, we realized that the outcome that it was providing was not what we wanted anyway. And we had friends, all we were doing, like our goal

was to just be on Broadway. That was like the ultimate goal. And we had friends, all we were doing, like our goal was to just be on Broadway. That was like the ultimate goal. And we had a number of friends who were on Broadway and they, it didn't seem that they weren't satisfied. So it was like, there's always the next thing. So then it's kind of like, well, you get used to this thing. And then it's like, but what else? What else can I do?

That's when we started to be like, okay, well, we got to figure out how we can put ourselves in a position where we can do this because we love it, not because we need it. We started talking about that pretty early on before we were even married and being like, okay, maybe we'll put this on the back burner and try to figure out how we can build a life that we're excited about and then work this back in if it ends up making sense. Did TikTok fame happen by accident? Yes. Yes. It did.

Yeah. So you weren't even like trying at all. That was not on our bingo card. Like it was not on our radar to be in social media or to think about that as a business at all. We were trying to like build online business together and do different things. And then COVID happened, everything shut down. She was going to work every other week.

I was at home and not going to work at all. And so I was just bored out of my mind. It was like around 2021. I was like, I was honestly a little late, but 2021 where I was like, well, I like doing dumb videos, like just for with friends and family and stuff like that. So I'll do this and post on this app that nobody follows me on, which is TikTok at the time. Instagram, I had like 800 followers. I posted once every other, like every six months on there. Like I just never posted. And then we, I posted and it was like, I don't know,

three or like the third or fourth video kind of went viral and went to like 8 million views in a couple days. What's crazy is the video that went viral was we were on our honeymoon and it was like this pool video where the edge is clear but it's like refracted. So it's a affinity pool that people could see and so it makes your body look like

it's separated from your head. So I just did something silly and she thought it was funny and so she filmed it, not intended for social media but I just posted that and it just went bonkers and we gained a bunch of followers and then also like managers and stuff started reaching out and so it's like that started the wheels like oh this could like become something like this this could be a potential like business and so then from that point on we just kind of started posting and it was just me

initially and then I brought her in and the ones that I brought her in did better, of course. And so then I was like, I think people just liked our dynamic. And so then I was like, okay. So then we decided it was like, we're going to make it a couples channel. And that was like mid 2021. And then we just like, I was like, all right, if we're going to do this, like, let's do it. And we were, we posted like two to three pieces of content, like Tik Toks and reels every day for a full year.

And then, and then after that scaled back to like now posting every day, just, and yeah. And then it's just like gradually gotten to where it is. We've never had like the exponential growth that a lot of these, or that some of these influencers have where there's like, yeah, like I started a tick tock and went to a million in a month and then 2 million the next month. Like we never had that. Um, it, it was just kind of consistent just little by little slow and steady growth, but we were just consistent and just stay stuck with it.

And we left our jobs a little like a year ago, I think for the first time. Yeah. You, yours was about a little like a year ago I think for the first time. Yeah, yours was about a little over a year ago and mine was like a year and some change ago. Yeah. And what were those jobs that you left? We were working like corporate finance jobs. Are you serious? You were corporate finance?

How did you go from Beauty the Beast to corporate finance? I know, it's not hilarious. I mean like office managerial work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's- I wasn't in there doing stocks and trades and stuff. Yeah, doing trading. I would lose a lot of money on companies.

Because when we were like, OK, well, let's put, let's build a business. So we were like, let's get corporate jobs that we can just work them from 9 to 5. And then we have our evenings and weekends free for us. We don't have to take that work home with us. We can just have our time outside to build something for ourselves.

So that's when we started, we kind of transitioned into that space and just were like, let's get like admin, you got yours way before I got mine. But yeah, just like office managerial work at financial firms in New York. And so we were like, it's steady paycheck. We don't have to be worried about money.

We can leave our work at work and we can focus on this. And then eventually we won't need those jobs. That was always our plan. And that's what happened. Yeah, it just gave us structure. Because before, we would be working two or three jobs. Yes. You know?

Because if you're pursuing acting or in the industry, a lot of auditions in theaters, but cut that. I was like, spuh, spuh, spuh, spuh. I was like, just stuttered like crazy. Have you seen those reels or TikToks where it's like, when you stutter, you're like, and then they're like, ha, ha, ha, and the guy like punches them. I do it too.

I feel like it always sticks out to you when you do it though. I didn't even notice that you were stuttering. Oh, you didn't? Oh my gosh. This is why I know it's because my best friends, every time anyone in the group stutters or makes a misstep with any.

Or has like a small voice crack or anything. It's like immediate like dragging. They drag and drag. Drag and like, oh. I mean, immediate. So like I'm so hyper aware of it. Where like if my voice cracks, I'll stop and like wait. And then nobody's like.

They're like, we're gonna meet me up right now. Everybody's waiting for you to continue. Oh, so you're, oh yeah. Oh, you guys are nice. So, why was I saying? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Because in theater, in theater, auditions are typically in the morning.

So you can't do a nine to five. So you have to work. Retail, restaurants, customer service, anything that's flexible where you can get a shift covered, you know, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, for auditions specifically, you need a flexible job. So that was it before.

So we were just like, okay, now that we're made this. That's because the producers and the casting director, they're working in nine to fives. They're working nine to fives. Yeah, exactly. That's so funny. Yeah.

So you can't. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, pretty much. That's what makes the, I mean, that's what makes the industry like such a grind as well. Yeah. So you can't. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Pretty much. That's what makes the, I mean, that's what makes that industry like such a grind as well. Which again, it comes back to you really have to love

what you do and be passionate about it because like you can't even hold down at like a stable job and do it. You have to like, but now it's shifted a bit coming out of COVID where a lot are like self tapes and stuff. At least for the beginning. Yeah, in the beginning. And then you have to go in in person, you know,

for TV and film specifically and theater as well. But so it's shifted, come on, a lot of stuff shifted coming out of COVID. Now here we are. And you guys make TikToks for a living. Let's go! Yeah! Crazy, it's so crazy.

And we all know, I mean, social media, you never do that on the weekends, right? Yeah, that has very easy boundaries for that kind of work. Yeah, that's been definitely something we've had to work on. Because we left these nine to fives where we were working eight hours a day to something that we work 15, 16 hours a day.

And it's yours, it's yours. So it's different. I don't know, it feels different. Yeah, so you have to, like, we've had to, like, try to create boundaries of this is time for filming, this is time for editing, and then this is time to, like, spend together. Especially now with Shelton.

And spend, now that we have a kid. It's much more important. It's, without him, it was easy to just be like, go, go, go. Yeah, we'll just keep going. All day long. And then until we, until we burn out. Like, oh, it's 10 p.m. We should probably eat dinner, like. Oh yeah, we, like, forget to eat. 10 PM, we should probably eat dinner.

Oh yeah, we forget to eat. That's what we would do too. We forget to eat so much, especially in the beginning stage because with natural light, it's the best time to film. And so we will try to get as much done before, especially in the winter in New York, it goes down at 4.30 PM, it gets dark.

So we try to get as much done in the beginning and then we'll just forget to eat and then eat like, oh, we should eat something like, oh, I feel a little shaky or something. We should eat at three. So then we have our first meal. So yeah, so we're getting better at that, of like creating boundaries

so that we don't like end up resenting it, you know, and it becomes just like anything else. Cause we feel very blessed to be in the position, but it takes a, it's a lot of work and you know, and it becomes just like anything else. Cause we feel very blessed to be in the position, but it takes a lot of work and you know, we work really hard at it and there's like, we love what we do and we, but there are aspects of like, oh, it'd be nice to just like shut your brain off a little bit

and just like be like PTO, have PTO. I don't know if you felt like after you had a baby, where it's like, it's such a blessing that I get to be here with my baby all the time and I don't have to worry about going back to work. And so it almost feels ungrateful to like express this. But I was like, if I had like, I almost wish I could have like four months

of maternity leave, not do anything, just be focused on my baby and learning how to function as a human with a baby. But I can't, we can't do that. The people that are posting live while they're in the hospital, like giving birth, I'm like, how are you? Like we took a week or two off with, I think it was a week that we just went silent after the birth of Griffin. And I think the same thing for Augie, but yeah, you get back to it real quick because like you don't, if you take time off, like you, that's fine. But then like everything shuts down. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like your business is, and you, you stop

making money. And that's just like, that's it. Yeah. So, um, there is no PTO and, and like, don't get it. Don't get us wrong. Cause people, you know, like we, we're very grateful and very privileged and very like, we, we, we, we love like what we've created in the life we have. So don't get our like words twisted that like, you know. 1000% Cause we get it, we're in the situation that we're in.

But there is that feeling of sometimes being like, I wish I could take like the next couple weeks off and not post. But then I think it's like a little couple weeks off and not post, but then I think it's a little bit self-inflicted too, because it's like we could theoretically do this, but I'm worried about then everyone will forget about me and then we'll lose momentum and then we'll do all this stuff.

It's a lot of that. What happens if you get pregnant on tour, what happens? Did they just kick you out? Are you out? I actually have no idea. It probably depends on how soon. Yeah, because if it's like, if you're going to be able to continue to do the show or, I mean,

because we have friends who are on Broadway, pregnant. And it's just like, depending on your costume and the safety of what you're doing in the show. Do you know Sweeney Todd? Yeah. Do you know who like Mrs. Lovett is, the main character? OK. One of our

really good friends, she covers that and went on for Mrs. Lovett and she was six or seven months pregnant. Something like that. Yeah. Six or seven months pregnant. And we saw it and she killed it. And you wouldn't know because like so that shows you could wear huge dresses and stuff and cover it up and so did she ever? I mean yeah up until she left it eventually when she got to the end. But it was like near the end of her pregnancy. That's wild.

Which is crazy. Women are amazing. Speaking of pregnancy, how are you guys doing? How was your pregnancy? How are you guys doing? Was it always like, did you guys both always want a family? Yeah. We did, we did.

I think we went through a short phase of being like, do we? Because we just enjoyed our life and the flexibility that we had. So we kind of had a moment. But then for me, I was like, if I don't continue on, I'm like my family legacy is literally going to die out. And that freaked me out.

That's a heavy burden. Yes. I was like, oh my gosh, like if I don't have kids, like the line of Shelton, because my dad has two sisters, neither of them had kids. So I'm the only, I mean, there's more extended family too, but I was like, I felt like if I didn't continue on, I was like, oh my gosh, and I don't know, my name is going to stop, and I don't like that. I had already taken, I'm like, I wanted to take his last name, but I wanted my name to carry on too, which is why his name is Shelton because that was my maiden last name. So once I had that realization, I was like,

I want to have kids because I want the legacy of my family to continue to continue on. And I also was like, maybe it will feel sacrificial now, but like what I don't want to be 60 and be like, I wish I would have had kids. Like, I want, I want, I want kids. I will. I want, I'm going to wish that we had them later. Yeah. Yeah. We really went back and forth on that. And, and it's like, would we regret not?

Sure, there's a time where you sacrifice the convenience and the, just like the comfortability of what you have going on when it's just you two. But I think you just gain so much more when you have it. And now we know how much you gain. But when you're on the other side of it, you only know what you know. You're like, people say that, but. You can't conceptualize it.

And just like when people are like, you can't conceptualize how hard it's gonna be in the beginning. And the first month was really hard for us, just because I think it was such a transition for us mentally. People warned us for that and we were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I get that.

But like, we're strong-willed people and we got this and I think we went into it with like, we were pretty like, I don't know. How hard can it be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like big headed about it a little bit. We'll figure it out. And then it happened and it kind of like rocked us.

It was hard. Like the first month. Yeah, for us. And previously, we, or she got pregnant a year before in March of February. 2023. 2023. Beginning of 2023. And had a miscarriage. So it took about a year after that to be in a place to try again.

And I don't know, you can share kind of what you were feeling. Were you scared to get pregnant again for that reason? I don't know. It took you scared to get pregnant again for that reason? I don't know. It took me longer to be ready again after that than I was expecting. I think, yeah, because it was like, I don't know, you never think that's gonna be your story. Even though it's very common.

And so I was a little bit like, I don't know, I just needed time. Time to like heal from that and then also get myself to a place where I was gonna have peace of mind being pregnant again. We really always knew that we wanted a family. We just, you know, felt like we needed to, I don't know why we felt like we needed to debate it,

but we did for a little bit. But wow, has it been the most incredible blessing that we've ever experienced? For sure. Like you can't even, I mean, you can't conceptualize it, but it's just, you guys know, it's crazy. It's wild to see like a little person who you and your, like the love of your, like both of you, it's just wild.

I know. It's just miraculous. Yeah, and just to see him like continue to grow and form. Yeah. So after the first month where we kind of like it because it's like this shock of like oh Everything is just like more inconvenient and more hard and what was the first thing you try to do go to a show Go to a Broadway show with your kid. No, not with him. Just like go to a Broadway show And now you're like now what do we do because we got invited to go see six on Broadway or something like that and we're like oh yeah

we've been wanting to see that that's great let's go and then we're like okay now we have to find somebody to watch him during this time it was just like you know it was the first time that happened so it was in the moment it was like oh man it's always gonna be like this is gonna be so I think something something with him was like just going out, it's always gonna be like this. It's gonna be so hard. Totally. I think something with him was like, just going out to dinner. Since we live in the city, we like to like sometimes go upstate to just like be in nature and take like,

take a day trip to upstate New York. And cause there's just trees and nature up there and it's a nice escape from the city. So we did that pretty, we were pretty ambitious with when we did that. He was like, I don't know how many weeks old he was. Three maybe? Pretty early on. Two months? Two weeks. It happens though, you don't know how many weeks old he was. Three maybe? Two? Pretty early on.

Two months? Two weeks. And was it a craft show? It was trapped. But that was a really hard day. Let's say that was a rough day for us. We were both just emotional. We were sleep deprived too.

I think that's the other part of it. It took us so much longer to get out of the house than we were anticipating. So we didn't get going as soon as we wanted to. And then it's like, we have this whole day and it just felt very like, everything felt hard. Everything just felt very difficult. And then we're like, okay, let's eat some tacos.

And he was just crying, crying, crying. And I just was like, I just want to eat a taco. It just felt like a... And then somebody comes along and be like, oh, hey, don't get used to this, it gets harder. Yeah, I was like, enjoy it now, because it only gets harder. Enjoy it now.

So, while she's crying. We met this dude. No, it's a woman. Oh, it's a woman who said this. With her kid next to her. Oh, gosh. And we were just like... I'm sure their kid's internalizing that too.

It's like quite a lot of work. Yeah. Just like if you're a parent specifically, just remember what it was like to have a newborn for the first time. Oh my gosh. And maybe think about. Like maybe a really encouraging statement.

And also like yeah. Only encouraging. And just think about what that was like and what people, what you would have wanted to hear when you were like that. And say that instead of the opposite. Because I think, I don't think people are meaning. No. I think they're wanting to just like relate and they're not and so they're trying to like relate with somebody and there's there's somewhere it's like you have a kid

and now if anyone else has a kid no matter what they are like oh I can relate to you so now I can say whatever I want and so it it's kind of wild the things that we'll say. And the most helpful thing is, you know, when you're online, people always give you helpful parenting advice in the comment section, which is like the best thing. Yeah, super helpful.

Which I think everybody who's like, you know, online can relate to. When Abby and I became new parents, there's this guy who had two daughters that were probably like, I think eight. And he's, you told me about this. He said to Abby, oh, just like, he was like complaining about his kids in front of his kids too. Yeah. To Abby. They were like that?

I think it was at a pool, at like our old neighborhood's pool. And this father was complaining. He had like kids that were very aware, like eight, nine kids. Right in front of him. He's like, oh my gosh, Chris griping about it. And I was like, you know, they can hear you. And all that your kids wanna do is please their parents. And then you're just utterly disgusted by that.

I don't know, I was like, dude, what in the world? We're actually happy, this is hard, but we're happy. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. That's so interesting. Yeah, I feel like everyone's had that interaction. Sometimes I have like, sometimes when people are like,

you got your hands full, I'm like, yeah, I sure do. And I'm like so happy about it. I don't know, I feel like sometimes if you even just reframe it that way, it kind of makes them question it. They're like, maybe that wasn't the thing I should say next time. But if you just kind of brush it off, they're probably like, maybe that wasn't like the thing I should say next time. But if you just kind of like brush it off, they're probably like, I'm gonna say that next person.

Yeah, it really landed. It really landed. It really landed. It really did. Did you guys feel ready to become parents though when you found out or? Not really. You didn't.

Is it possible to feel ready? I don't know. I don't know. Cause I mean, I didn't give birth to him till I was 36 years old. Like if I'm not ready, when am I gonna be? I guess I know. I don't know. Because I mean, I didn't give birth to him until I was 36 years old. Like if I'm not ready, when am I going to be? I guess I'm never going to be ready. Yeah, the time is ticking. When you're 37. Yeah. Like I've waited this long and I still, I think the thing that made us feel ready,

quote unquote, was that we felt like we had like some financial stability in our life. Yeah. And we have a great community of people. So it's like, well, with those two things, we're gonna be, we're gonna figure it out. We're gonna figure it out. And we can't, I don't think we could ever, I don't think you can become ready because you don't know how to get ready, I think. Well, at least we didn't get it.

The hospital never gave us a manual. The hospital gave us a manual. I'm not even kidding. They brought us home with so many books, didn't read a single one. I mean, it was so much information, but also it was stuff they already told us too. So, I don't know.

They didn't, the hospital didn't send you home with that stuff? We took a class. We did take something. They're like, this is how you change a diaper. We did do that. You figure it all out. Yeah.

I mean, and that's just it. It's like everyone, that's why there is no parenting manual, kind of. Like to be the best parent, cause everybody has a different life. Totally. Dude, it's like with people in the comment section and sharing their parenting advice that we should be doing,

that's where we're like, if you don't, like I heard, I think Tom Holland say this, and I really liked it. He's like, because he was talking about just social media fame, just fame and just social media and how he takes comments and stuff. And he was like, if I don't have you as a contact in my phone and you don't have me as a contact

in your phone, then your opinion is irrelevant. Where it's like, you don't know me, you don't know my life. If I do mess up, if I do, I would hope that my good friends will text me or call me and and be like hey Like let's talk about this, you know kind of thing. Whereas the person on social media they're only seeing a specific thing, you know a specific side of your life and not maybe not all of it taking them with a grain of salt and Like if we ever do we don't really get many comments like that to be honest.

We have a pretty positive community which we are very grateful for. And so, but you know, every now and then there will be one and then you're just like, okay, like the vet. Restrict. Restrict. Yeah. I was a little nervous like in the social media world,

like becoming parents because parenting, that subject matter is a very like, very opinionated. Cause everybody has their way of doing it. And, but that's, that's just it. You have your way of doing it. We have our way of doing it. And as long as we're not like beating them

and like doing something, you know, very specific, like obviously wrong, like you're doing the best you can and if you love your kids, they're gonna turn out fine. There is no such thing as perfect parenting and no matter how good of a parent and how present you are with your kid,

your kid will still have some sort of childhood scripts that they'll need to work on, whether it's living up to perfectionism or whatever, or, you know, and so it's like, you can like release that. And something that somebody else said to me is like, if you don't take the credit for your kid being amazing, then you don't take the credit for them, you know, going on and if they make some mistakes.

Cause ultimately, as they get older, I don't know if you guys feel this, as parents it's like you have them for a certain time and then ultimately they're gonna go on and they're gonna make their own choices and make their own decisions and be formed by people in their life and in the community and stuff. And so there's some stuff that's in your hands and then other stuff that's just

out of your hands. And I don't know, it can be a little freeing to just like, know that like, as long as you're doing the best you can, you're you're trying to like stay present and, um, and when you're, when you're with your kid, be present with them. That's something that also like being on social media is I don't want them to think that this is more important than them. Like the phone. And so figuring out boundaries for that is going to be interesting. I feel lucky. Like, and it's always like hindsight, it's 2020, but that we didn't grow up on social media. Or I didn't have it like I didn't have a

phone, a cell phone till I was 16. It was a flip phone. You could only text and call and you could only text like 250 characters a month. And then you're out and then you had to wait for the next month. And so, because there's just so much development that like your brain's not fully developed until you're 25, I think they say 25, 26, 27, which is crazy to think about a you know, a kid that's six, that's like comparing themselves to a lot of people on the social media. So yeah. You guys mentioned upstate New York. Do you have any plans of maybe one day moving there to raise a family? Do you think you'll stay in the city for at least the foreseeable future? We've been talking a lot about wanting to potentially like buy a house somewhere else. Yeah, that's not in New York. It won't be upstate, I don't think. No, because we would want it to be, I don't know,

I'm in New York because I love the city. Otherwise, I mean, we also love our friends that we have in New York City. That's a big reason, that's a big part of what has kept us there, is our community there. But our apartment is starting to feel a little like the walls are closing in, even with just one little baby. So we have definitely been like, okay, I think we would love to get something to buy a home somewhere else that's not in New York,

whether it's, we'll see, we love Arizona. So. No way, you haven't thought about moving out here. We have, we have. Yeah, so we will see what, I think I mean for me I'm still like very attached to New York City. I've lived my whole adult life there. Yeah so there's nothing like New York City. Yeah the thought of like not having something that I can call home there sort of freaks me out because that's just been my

home since I graduated college and so so I mean, my ideal situation would be to still have our place in New York and then buy something somewhere else where we also are. Because New York is honestly terrible from January through April because it's just gray and cold. And gets dark at 4.30. And if you don't have the space for a child to play, if you can't go outside, it's just like,

you start to feel claustrophobic. Because you can't be anywhere besides just in your little space. There's so much sunshine here. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Why do I feel though, well, I guess you said you wouldn't move, you would just live in two different places in split time,

but I almost think that because you've lived there for so long, if you ever did make the jump of, oh, we're leaving, I think you would find yourself coming back because the hustle and bustle of that city, I don't think you experience really anywhere else. There is no. And maybe you could in the world, but in the country, I've never been to a single place in the country

that is anything like New York City. Yeah, I agree. I mean, on tour, we went to 72 cities in 10 months and like all the major ones, all the big ones. And the closest was Chicago. And that was still like, just like a tour back. Yeah. And yeah, there is really nothing like it.

The accessibility of everything, the amount of restaurants and just like activities and stuff. We're big activities people. Like you love to do things and we love to eat. And obviously our son likes to eat, which is obvious if you see any videos or pictures. I love that. That's the first thing Abby said about you. He's so cute and chunky. We just squeeze and we're like, where's your bones? They're like our own stress ball. Oh my gosh. But all I have to say, yes, we do see ourselves like having something somewhere else because

even reflecting upon our childhoods, like our best memories, we're playing outside. Micah, I think I read that you're one of six children. You guys think you'll have six kids. Heck no. Heck no. No. Heck no. I mean, purely- Unless our next kid is a quadruple. It would have to be five. Heck no. Heck no. I mean, purely- Unless our next kid is a quadruple. No, please.

It would have to be five. Oh man, you're right, quintuplet. Yeah. Are you all for one more? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think we're doing one more and I think that will be,

that's what we say and we'll see. Are you like thinking, really banking on a girl here or? I would love to have a girl. Yeah. But I also- I can see it. I can see you guys having one of each. She has that strong inclination. It's not going to be though. I would love to have a girl. Yeah. But I also. I can see it. I can see you guys having one of each. Yeah.

She has that strong inclination it's not going to be though. I feel like I have a strong feeling that we're gonna have two boys. Really? Yeah, I don't know why. It's just a feeling that I have. With two boys it's amazing.

Yeah, I'm like I would love to just, to be boy mom. That would be so fun. So I mean I would love to have a girl but I won't have any sadness if we end up having two boys. And who knows if we have two boys, I don't know. You never know. Maybe we get the itch to try for one more. You never know, baby.

You never know. But I also, I don't know. I'm also just kinda like, we're getting, we're too old. I'm worried about your pumping schedule. Like I'm like, are you good? Like when you have to pump. I literally pumped right before you guys got here. Oh okay.

Pumping stresses me. That's like my major stressor. I'm like, wait, did I miss a pumping? Yeah. Are you doing that exclusively? Pretty much. I like was combo doing like breastfeeding and pumping, but we like pretty quickly had moments

where I would have to be away from him for like a few hours at a time. So I was like, I started pumping kind of soon so that we could just make those things work. So I could do it. Yeah, so we could feed him. Yeah, so he could feed him. And now I've, yeah, I pretty much exclusively pump

and then bottle feed him. I also, I just really like knowing how much he's getting. Totally. Because I like knowing that he's full. So if he's upset about something, I'm like, well, you're not hungry. I can rule that out. I know for a fact that you're not hungry. And that dude ain't hungry.

That dude ain't hungry. Yeah. I'm like, your caloric intake is just fine. I know that it's just fine. Yeah. I think we can share it too. Cause like she could only do that, you know? And he has never had issues latching to the bottle ever.

Yeah. And he went through a period where he had some latching issues on her. And so that was kind of a difficult time. But yeah, it just like ends up, it just has worked out a lot better for that situation. It's a lot of work though. I mean, you gotta be real diligent with it

to keep it going, especially with a baby that sucks down 30 ounces of milk a day. You're like, I like milk. How do you keep that supply? We went to Dubai for a week for a partnership and she pumped the whole time and brought back all the milk for her. And yeah, so we even, yeah, it's kind of great.

I mean, kudos to you. You're very diligent with it. How do you make that much milk? I don't know. She just drinks a gallon of milk a day and it just goes. I don't know, I guess my body just keeps up with what I pump. And I pump like, I mean, the pump goes further. Do you pump through the night?

I have, well, I had like a dip in my supply and I think it was from being away from him. But the dip in my supply really was freaking me out. So I started waking up again, setting an alarm to wake up in the middle of the night. He doesn't eat in the middle of the night anymore but I set an alarm to wake up in the middle of the night. He doesn't eat in the middle of the night anymore, but I set an alarm to wake up so that I can, because I'll usually get one pump after he goes to bed.

So I'm like one ahead. And then I was like adding in an additional pump before he would wake up, so that I would be even slightly more ahead. So a lot of work and it can be a mental load. That's for sure. But it's been a- Especially when a baby's not latching at the beginning,

that- That was hard. That can bring, that makes me sure. But it's been a- Especially when a baby's not latching at the beginning, that- Yeah, that was hard. That can bring, that makes me just see red and panic. Yeah. I'm like, oh no, no, no, my baby's gotta eat. I know, I know, the tears from that. I mean, he figured it out eventually on that side, but- Because he's frustrated, you're frustrated,

it's like, it's hard. It's honestly a recipe for disaster. My brain just tries to black that out a little bit. But don't forget about the sleep deprivation that's also in there too. I mean this whole event where it's like a traumatic event that is physically hard and then like on top of like a whole your whole life being upended. Totally. You're also going to be sleep deprived, which the sleep deprivation is a literal torture

in some countries. It's what they do, you know? You can't work out the same way for a while, and for me, that's like my outlet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have rage otherwise. To also eliminate that was just like perfect storm of like lots of feelings. Yeah, working out is so important for our mental health.

Like it's kind of a centering thing. There's just so much science behind getting active and moving and how that affects the brain. I think that challenge, just coming out of it though, just gives you the perfect amount of confidence as a parent though. Totally. My confidence as a mom is unshakeable now.

I'm like, well we did that. Yeah. We did that. Do you feel like after having a kid, where you're just like, well, I can do anything now. Oh, I feel like so. I was able to do this. I produced life. Yeah, and I think you're just like, well, I can do anything now. Where he's like, I was able to do this. Like I produced life.

Yeah, and I think you're like, that's actually not that big of a deal. You know what? That's not a big deal. Like you kind of just, it puts your life in a different type of perspective, right? But I told Matt, I was like, I tell Matt actually this probably like once a week.

I'm like, Matt, if I was a puzzle, what would I say? What would I say about being a mom? I'm like. If you were a puzzle, like being a mom would be the completion? Being a mom was like the centerpiece. That was like right in the middle. You've said that like twice. You don't say that every week.

You don't say that every week. How many times a week do you say that? That is not a weekly thing you say. I'm telling our counselor about it. You said that being a mom completed your puzzle for you. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But you don't say that weekly. Okay, baloney.

You don't say that weekly. I'm telling our counselor about it. You said that being a mom completed your puzzle for you. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, but you don't say that weekly. Okay, baloney. You don't listen weekly. I think you said it maybe,

this might have been the third time you said it in your entire life. That was a lie. I like that visual though. Yes, I was like, I was like pretty, you could see the full picture, but like that, there we go. Like now I feel like, now I'm like, okay, now I'm content with everything.

It definitely wasn't like a completion that I didn't even know I was missing, actually. Because I was never a person that was like, oh, I'm made to be a mom, I can't wait to be a mom. So I was like, I will be, but why am I thinking about that now? I'm not ready for that yet. And I don't know why I thought that would change

how good of a mom I was, but I think I had insecurity because I was like, I never had that burning desire and I know so many people that did. And so I was like, if I don't have that, am I gonna be like less than as a mom? And then it's just like, no, absolutely not. And again, it was just like a- You're an amazing mom.

Thanks babe. It was like a complete, it was something I was missing that I didn't even know I was missing until he was there. And then it was like, oh my gosh, this just like makes sense. That's sweet. I want to go squeeze that K right now. I just realized that you guys have shoes and we're giving just feet pics. That's great. People were actually in the clip this. I was going to say you're going to make so much money on this one.

Yeah, I can't wait. There's been a DM or two about asking for, for Sarah's used socks. Oh my gosh. Wait, what? Yeah. Actually? Yeah. You're not even making this up.

No, I'm not making it up. Does that feel violent for you? Did you feel offended that they weren't asking for new socks? Well, we were like, how much? I'm kidding. I mean, honestly. I'm like, what's the number?

How far can we go here? As you're willing. But it is interesting, cause like a part of me, I mean, I just like ended up blocking the person cause he just kept asking. Just kept asking. That's crazy. Yeah. But a part of me I mean I just like ended up blocking the person because he just kept asking That's crazy. Yeah, but that but the part of me was like how much like would he will like just as an experiment How much would he willingly give for your used socks and like where's the line here like morally? You know true That's true.

But I was offended that, you know, he didn't want mine. We gotta go with seven babies. Okay, we can already hear their baby making noise. I think he woke up from his nap. It sounded like a fun noise. He's having a great time. He's having a ball. So we're gonna go squeeze your cute baby if that's okay.

Yeah, of course. Because he's adorable. But thank you guys so much for coming on the channel. Thank you guys. Thanks for having us. Definitely go check out Mike and Sarah. They're on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, all of that. Yeah.

Oh, and their podcast as well. Yeah. We do have a podcast. Yeah. Anything you guys want to shout out? I don't know if you guys, are you guys working on a book or something? I don't know.

Yeah, actually we're, we are just in the beginning stages, but we are writing a children's book. Wait, no way. Oh, that's actually so dope. Yeah, we're really excited about it. And so, yeah, we'll come down and look out for that later on. But yeah, we're excited about it.

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