The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - My sisters-in-law on pregnancy symptoms, gender reveals & VBACs

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Abby’s two sisters-in-law are expecting babies! In this episode, Abby catches up with Abigail and Addy to chat about all things pregnancy—from early signs to setting limits on personal topics (especially with in-laws). And the sisters have a lively debate about whether it’s “cheating” to find out the baby’s gender before birth. This episode is sponsored by Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box plus free croissants in every box when you go to https://Wildgrain.com/unplanned or use promo code UNPLANNED at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My little brother did what? Like, that's where your mind went? I don't know if that's where my mind went, but that's what my face is saying. Oh my god. There are my first stretch marks. On the boobies. That wasn't there before. That wasn't there. I can talk about sex with you. You can talk about sex with me.

I can talk about sex with you, but you can't talk about sex with me. You guys can talk about sex with each other. I get all the tea. Our current culture celebrates anxious parenting. Worry is a natural part of being a parent There's nothing wrong with that But like the anxiety component something that we got to work through what things are you gonna do differently? I was part of I think I will buy diapers this time. I didn't know that

I just used the big Welcome back to the unplanned podcast. I am so excited today to be joined by my sweet sister in law, Abby and Abby, who are both pregnant right now. This is literally the best year ever. I'm like so convinced that this is just going to be the happiest year. We're going from having between the three of us, how many kids do we have? Three to five, almost doubling. That's very impressive. That's a summer camp.

We can't go to dinner together anymore. No, we can't. Like at what stage? I mean, maybe we could with five. No, that's- How many adults though? That's aggressive. We'll just-

There'd be six adults and five kids, if it was just us. A table for 11. No, we can't go out to eat together anymore. Yeah, we will just host. Yeah, let's just host. Let's just host. It's honestly better the kids don't sit at a table anyway. No, they just run around.

Oh my gosh, this is so exciting. Okay, so Addie, you're due. Okay, wait, first of all, for clarification, Addie's married to my brother and having her first baby. And Abby's married to my husband's brother and they're on their second baby and there's just a lot to talk about here because this is such an exciting I love talking about babies pregnancy like if there's someone I first meet I'm like this but I am sometimes scared to ask

because I don't know if there's like a complicated history there yeah so I'm like I usually wait for them to give me like the first little nudge and then I'm like, okay so when did you like have like a million things to talk about and if they have a toddler then I have a whole other things to talk about. If they have older kids I'm like, okay so what's it like now? Like do they get up and do things on their own? Like I'm fascinated.

I'm like, do they make cereal for themselves? It's like, what can they do? Do you talk to them like normal people? I think Griffin will do that soon. Like he'll be able to make his own ball of cereal. Why does it feel like it's so far away? Except now that he doesn't have a binky, I will say, I'm like, you're an adult now.

Like he asked me for his coffee in the morning. Give him coffee, okay? Just a little bit of milk. Just a little bit of milk with a little bit of honey. That's so cute. Yeah, I know. Ashley gave him his own mug yesterday. She saw a Stitch mug.

He really liked Stitch. And he was just walking around with the other kids with his little actually ceramic breakable mug. Wow. And I was like, you're an adult. You're too mature of you. The other night at dinner, he asked for coffee because the adults were getting coffee after dinner.

He's like, can I have coffee? We're like, that's for the morning. Yeah, only decaf. Only, you want to decaf coffee? I think it's shocking for other people. I don't even get him decaf. Honestly, I think that still feels weird. No, that would be crazy.

It still has caffeine in it. Oh gosh. In case people didn't know. Giving your kid non-alcoholic beer just doesn't feel right. Makes sense. Technically, it should be allowed, I guess. No. No, we're not going to do that one.

Okay, so Addie, you are due in August. Abby, September. So starting with Addie, you are due in August, Abby September, so starting with Addie, how did you find out? This was a planned baby. This was a planned baby, planned pregnancy. Addie does everything planned. There was no way it was gonna be unplanned. My life doesn't work that way. But with it being our first, we didn't know if everything was gonna work out the first time, and it did.

So that's what we do in August, because first try, it worked out, we got pregnant with her. And so I found out, so again, with eye tracking everything, I do natural cycles, been tracking my period for like... You were like kind of intense actually about this. I was intense, I had an oar ring, I still have an Oura ring.

You bought it for that purpose, right? For the very specific purpose of being able to track my temperature. Intense. That couldn't be us. That was really intense. When I was like, when we like decided we were gonna start trying,

we had gone home for Thanksgiving and I forgot my charger to my Oura ring. Which means my Oura ring died. Which means I can't take my temperature and track it. Very upsetting to me, because I'm very on schedule. We're trying to get pregnant, and the first time I'm ovulating, I don't know when it is,

because I don't have my charger, our ring died. Love natural cycles, but if you don't, they don't, you can't use regular thermometer, you can't go buy an O-Ring charger because of the sizes. You have to order it online. There was literally no way because I didn't even have the portable thermometer

that they give you with me. And so that was stressful for me. Can you even input the temperature? No, it doesn't let you input the temperature either, which I'm like, this is unhealthy. I understand they're trying to make money. That's a great business plan. That's a great business plan.

Yeah, I was like, why can't I just input my own temperature? I'll take it in the morning, do it that way. Well, the other thing too is you have to pay for the O-ring, you have to pay monthly for the O-ring, and then you have to pay extra due natural cycles with the O-ring. Yeah. Brilliant.

They are gonna, they are killing it. My hot shock about the O-ring, I don't love it. I think it's good for people who care about their sleep maybe. I don't necessarily care about my sleep. I wish I would have just upgraded my Apple Watch to be able to take my body temperature and hook it up that way. So probably after this baby I'll upgrade my Apple Watch

and just keep track of my cycle that way. Well that's good for people to know if they're like, yeah, gonna plan babies. So because I don't really care about my sleep cycle, it actually stresses me out if I'm like, you got a 34% score. I'm like, yeah, that's why I feel horrible today rather than I'm like, I don't know what I got,

so I just have to live my life and keep moving. That way. So, didn't have my O-ring, didn't have the charger or anything like that, and so we were like, I was still keeping track of like when I could, when my period was gonna start. I have a very regular period. And so with that, we got home from that trip,

Blake, a little psycho, not psycho actually. He wouldn't let me drink or anything, or eat any of the things that you would when you're pregnant over that span of not knowing if we were pregnant or not, just cause he was like worried about it, which I get. But I was like, surely I'm not going to be pregnant the first try.

Like, why can't we're with our friends? Like, why can't I just have a glass of wine at Thanksgiving dinner? He's like, nope. I'm like, probably smart now that I'm pregnant. Smart of me to do that. So we got home. I took a test two days before I was

supposed to start my period. And I took the ovulation test. So I ordered like 50 off Amazon, they're super cheap and they just like show, or not the ovulation test, the... The strips? CP, what's the level? HCG.

HCG level tests, and took one two days before I was supposed to start my period just to see if anything was gonna show up. Nothing showed up, I was like, cool, not pregnant. We had girls night that night, went over, was like, I was talking to Emily Fuller about it and I was like, nope, not pregnant. She's like, I feel like you would not tell anyone

and you would just have a baby. I'm like, that is absolutely not me at all. Like, I would tell you the literal, if I was pregnant right now, I would tell you. I took a test this morning, negative. That was a bad take. Yep, not me at all. We're still getting to know each other.

Yeah. The next morning I take, or I don't take a test and then in the, it's like 10 a.m. I'm like looking at my- The next day. The next day. I'm looking at my aura ring stats and my heart rate, my sleeping heart rate was elevated for like a couple days now and I'm like, I'm very, very regular, like never changes ever and I was like, hmm, this is interesting. So I was like, okay, I'm like, I'm very, very regular, like never changes ever. And I was like, hmm, this is interesting. So I was like, OK, I'm going to go take a test.

Blake's sitting at the kitchen table working. So I'm like, I'm just going to go take an HCG test and see what happens. Go in there. I'm like looking at it. I'm like, there's a faint line. I think there's a faint line because I took a test the day before, didn't even think there was a line at all.

And then today I was like, that day I was like, there might be a line here. And so I'm like freaking out, I'm like, I'm like crying. I'm like, I think that's a faint line. I think, I think, I don't know, I don't know. And then I go out, I just show it to Blake. I say, so do you think there's a line here? No planning, nothing special. I was just like, is there a line here?

And he's like looking at it, he's like, I don't know. He's like, what does it mean if there's a faint line? And he's like, I'm like, if there's any line, I'm pregnant. He's like, I don't know, I'm like, no, that's what that means if there's a faint line. And I was like, I have one test that says like, yes or no, if you're pregnant or not. And he's like, okay, go take that.

I'm like, okay, well, go back. Did you have more pee in you or like? I peed into a cup. Did you pee in a cup? Oh, okay. So when you buy those HCG tests in that package, it comes with cups. It has 50 cups with it as well.

So I peed into a cup. And so then I was able to do the test and I was like just waiting there. I was like, I'm so confused if this is gonna be, and I flipped it over. It said yes. I was just like so shocked was like, I'm so confused if this is gonna be, and I flipped it over, it said yes. I was just so shocked because seeing a faint line versus seeing it say yes is just

completely different feelings. So I have those recordings of like, things that are great. That's why I have that rule for myself. You only take the ones that are digital read, but with Augie, I didn't think I was, so I just did the lines. Yeah, well, yes. Dark lines. I was Augie I didn't think I was, so I just did the lines. Yeah, well I was like, I didn't wanna, they're expensive.

I broke my own rule. Why are practices so expensive? So I was like, I don't wanna buy all these and then take them and they just be negative all the time, and so I was like, I'll just get these, and my dad was like, you didn't even need to get all those, just you needed two and then you were fine. I'm like now I have 48 for the rest of next time.

It's a pack of 50 like strip tests. So you took a test just based off your heart rate. You didn't even have symptoms. No I had one, I still hadn't missed my period yet. My period was the next day. It was supposed to start the next day. So it was one day before your period. It was one day before my period.

I had no symptoms for a while actually. Wow, that's crazy. Other than missing my period. It was one day before my period. I had no symptoms for a while actually. Wow, that's crazy. Other than missing my period. It's so weird how even if you know you did things to make a baby, when you find out, I don't care what anyone says, it's still shocking. Absolutely. It's still surprising.

That's how it works. What? I think what's weird about it is when you find out, it's something that's already happening. It's not like something that's just started, you're like, wait, it has been this way. You're finding something about yourself that you didn't, I don't know.

You're like, you never not know what's going on in your body, but I guess this time you're like, what, this has been growing, what's happening here, I don't know. That was even more surprising for Blake and I and TMI for people, but it was the first time we'd ever tried at all. We were very very very careful

We did natural cycles never got I know a lot of people who get pregnant Unlike natural cycles because they don't use it perfectly and we used it perfectly and never got pregnant And so then the first time we tried not to not use it getting pregnant I was like that's not gonna happen to us and Blake was like and when I told him he was like I always knew you'd be pregnant, but okay. I guess that's the next part. So I flip it over. It says yes. I'm like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Am I gonna do something?

I can't wait to tell Blake because I already showed him the test earlier. He knows I'm taking one right now. So I was like, okay, I guess I'm gonna record him. And Blake is a very man of few words. Not emotional. He's not a social media husband. Not a social media husband at all.

No. He could not be posted online.. Not a social media husband at all. No. He could not be posted online. No, he could not be posted online. He's like very briefly in my announcement video, or like the like finding out video, just because he's like, I don't want that to be shared. Like, I'm like, okay, fine, I'll do whatever. He's a private man.

And he's like, that's my reaction. I'm like, cause he's like, I knew you were gonna be. So I turn it over and and goes, oh wow. Got up from the table, came over and gave me a hug. Really cute. We were wearing matching pajamas that day, so it worked out well. When I was taking the test, I changed into the pajamas because I knew he was wearing the pajama bottoms.

Oh my gosh. Secret. Secret. He already had too much. I was like, this would be cute. You mean you go sleep in matching jammies every night? What? I was like, this would be cute.

We're not doing anything special, but hey, we would be in matching pajamas and that might be cute. That's cute. Our dogs are jumping on us because we're hugging and Blake's like pushing them down. I'm like, I'm fine. I'm not like nothing.

They're not gonna hurt anything right now. But that's how we like found out we were pregnant. His protectiveness over you has been super sweet. It's so sweet. Like all the things he's like, I don't like doing research. I don't like finding things out. I'm like, you tell me what to do and I trust you with it.

And so him telling me the things I can and can't eat or can and can't do with working out and has been super helpful because I'm like, I don't want to look that stuff up. I didn't know you were like that. I don't like research. I'd rather Blake give me the answer. Sure.

Because I trust him enough to do the research. And he, for our registry, I was like, you look up what bottles and what binkies and stuff like that because I don't want to look up what's best. I don't really care. You tell me and then put it on the registry. He's exactly like my dad.

My dad would be the one worried about everything. And so I told Matt one time, I was like, I think I just had a little revelation, revolution. Revolution. Revolution right now. It's a revival. Revival. Revival. Right now. It's a revival. It's a revolution. Sometimes I misinterpret what you're doing,

like when you're like, your calm nature, like as unloving, because my dad loved me by showing he was like, by worrying about me. And so I was like, you're not worried about me, so you don't love me. He's like, no, I don't worry about you, because it's not my nature. I'm not a worrier.

Like, and I'm like, oh, okay, it just took nine years. Cause I kind of put the pieces together, I was like, oh, you have to worry about me. But that was just my family. My dad would never be super outwardly affectionate, exactly, but he was worried about me, so he loved me. I kind of put two and two together in my mind, but that's funny. So then Abby, so he loved me. Like I kind of put two and two together in my mind, but that's funny.

So then Abby, you were on vacation. Did you know that that's what Theresa told me, our mother-in-law, she was like, oh, I figured that they were going to, cause they were in Mexico. I think they were going to figure they were going to. Figure they were going to what? Make a baby.

Wow, the conversations you guys have about him. Well, I kind of just moved on, I was like, yeah. Yeah, sure. He texted me, are you making a baby. Wow. The conversations you guys have about him. Well, I kind of just moved on. I was like, yeah. Yeah, sure. He texted me, are you making a baby in Mexico? Well, I already knew you were making a baby. This one was also planned. Yeah.

We love plans. Okay, so your first was not. No, CJ was a happy, happy surprise. Okay. And then, yeah, so this time, we already talked about my whole labor after it happened on the podcast so if you're curious you can go back to that but my doctors are pretty firm about trying to wait 18 months so that

my body could fully heal so once that 18 month mark hit which was just a couple months ago I was like okay let me go to the doctor have them check everything talk to them about it get the green light and then that was I think November and then December I was like I don't think we're quite ready. I was over Christmas break. I thought that I was late on my period. I took two tests and they're both negative. You were late weren't you? Yeah I was like five days late which was weird. It just happened randomly? Yeah unless I just miscounted because I don't track it on an app. I just write the date down and it comes and I'm like it's usually on the map. Apps are free and so easy. I know know that's crazy to me the idea for

some reason the idea of having another app on my phone stresses me out so I just write down okay that's different I need a little different I mean it's a little yeah this episode of the Unplanned Podcast is brought to you by Wild Grain. Tonight we are having soup and I think the perfect thing to pair with our soup is wild grain because they send the bread to your door and it's very yummy and I think it would be great bread

to eat with our soup. No, it's really, really nice because even if you buy like a baguette or whatever fresh bread you're trying to get from the store that same day it just immediately starts getting a little you know it's crazy how quickly bread just doesn't taste right but if you're baking it yourself there's something about that like home bake like the smell that fills your home you know what i'm talking about that beautiful like why am i saying beautiful that that just incredible smell of fresh baked bread. That's what Wild Grain is bringing into your home. Yes, Wild Grain is the first bake from frozen subscription box

for artisanal breads, pastries, and pastas. So picture this. You get your box of Wild Grain and it takes all the hassle of baking bread out the door because it arrives and you just pop it in the oven and in 25 minutes you have warm delicious literally fresh baked bread but not only that you got the smell of fresh baked bread in your home yeah and they also have recently launched a new gluten-free box and a plant-based box that is 100% vegan let's go I personally am so looking forward to you know after the long day getting my bowl of immunity soup and my little fresh baked bread. Wait is that what we're having tonight? Yes. Immunity soup and wild grain bread? Surely. Let's go. So I'm really looking forward to it. Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? Be sure to check out Wild Grain so you can begin building your box of artisanal breads, pastas, and pastries. For a limited time Wild Grain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box plus free croissants in every box when you go to

wildgrain.com slash unplanned to start your subscription. You heard me, free croissants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash unplanned. That's wildgrain.com slash unplanned or you can use code unplanned at checkout. So anyway I just had a list on my phone of dates but I took two tests they're both negative and Caleb and I were talking and we were we felt good well I was like man it would have been so exciting if I was but I'm really happy that it wasn't unplanned again because we just wanted to try it out the planned way to see how that happened so after that we were like let's go mm-hmm let's go for it mm-hmm and then yeah we were very fortunate that that month we found out

we were pregnant yeah and you tested early too yeah I tested I took the test on Friday it was the last day that we were in the DR. I always say Mexico. I know it's, they're different, but similar. Similar vibe. Yeah. It's the beach. Well, you're also at an all inclusive. So yeah, it feels.

Those are all kind of very similar. Yeah, similar vibes. But it was the last day of our trip. And I knew I was supposed to start my period around two days later. And so I took it that Friday. And yeah, it was just the lines. It wasn't the words.

And the lines were dark. And I said, I think that's, yeah, we're good. And when I took the test, I think I posted the video by now, but I still haven't cried about it. I feel like it hasn't hit me emotionally yet that we're having another baby. Yeah, wait, well, I never saw the reaction video. Was it just like normal? Yeah, I was just, I was I was like wow that's weird. What do you think this means? Did you take it together? Yeah we did.

Because the first with CJ I took it and then I surprised Caleb with a coffee and from Starbucks and it said we're pregnant and that was really fun and then this time we had talked about taking it together. That's so exciting. Yeah. Okay so then you Addie you told me like the same day you found out. I was I the first person you told? No Rachel James. Aww sweet. I called Rachel like called Trey and then you were the first person in person that we told. Actually, no. Rachel and Tom Sullivan were the first ones to know at the podcast studio, so that's a funny story. I was working in person today, that day,

coming to the studio and I was like, oh my gosh, I just found out I'm pregnant. I found out at like 10 a.m., I left at 10.30 to come here. And I came here and Rachel and Tom were here and their whole team and they were talking to me and they were like, so do you have a family? Like do you have any kids? And I said, I thought I'm pregnant this morning.

I love her and Blake. Blake was like, why did you tell them? Yeah, Blake was like, why would I lie? I wasn't gonna lie. And he's like, well, it's not like you're lying but you didn't have to volunteer that information. I don't know. Not exactly.

We actually did used to have a friend like that, like no lie ever, even a white lie, like even anything that was just like harmless, like no lie was acceptable in her mind. So maybe that was just- That's so funny. I don't know. She's like, I'm not lying.

I was just so excited. I was like, I need to tell someone. Yeah. And so it was so funny. It's kind of fun to do that. You just get it off your chest. And they were like, not safe people, but they don't know me. They don't know anything. The issue was, is that they were so funny. It was kind of fun to do that. Just get it off your chest. And they were like, not safe people, but they don't know me.

They don't know anything. The issue was is that they were so excited. Tom was so sweet, like came and gave me a big bear hug. Cause he's a big guy, like so sweet. I said, but, but, but, but, but, matter, we don't know, you can't tell them. Yeah. Right before they got here and they're like,

okay, and so then they're leaving and Tom comes up to me and goes, congratulations again. Like really quietly in my ear and it was like so sweet. The next day we went to the zoo with them and I was like, they told me by the way. Cause I was like, now I know. Information about my own ethernet. Yeah, it was so funny.

But yes, so Blake and I were like talking about it and we were like, are we gonna tell people yet or are we gonna wait? And I wanted to tell people cause we were like, are we gonna tell people yet or are we gonna wait? And I wanted to tell people, because I was like, if anything, I wanna enjoy this right now and not be like scared to talk to people and tell people. Two, if anything happens, I want those people

that I want to tell right now to know. And that can like be there with me. And so I like got permission, But again, I talked about it. I called my best friend Rachel and like FaceTimed her and told her and then he called his best friend Trey and told him and then Abby was coming over that night to watch Real Housewives. Which is by the way random.

We don't really. We don't really, we try to get in like consistently for a while. That was the first time or second time we did that. Yes, first or second time she was trying to like, she had other plans that she was also asked to go to and she was asking me if she should go or if she should come over to mine.

I'm like, you should really come over and watch the show with me. No worries, we'll cancel that. I double booked. But then, did you pick up? She was like, I agreed to you first, Addy, so. Did you pick up on that, that she was urgent? No, not at all, actually.

Well, you just had said I was your first obligation anyway Yeah, I said yes you first. I was gonna go to your house But I was just like letting her know like I don't know how like if you were still like for sure we're doing this Yes, and then she was like yeah, we're doing this. Yeah, we're doing this come over. And it's fine because the other person cancelled anyway And so then you get there we're sitting on the couch and I'm like no Here's the thing you and I were talking for a long time. We were talking for a little bit.

Me and you and Blake were talking for a long time. Oh, because before we started the show, I was gonna wait until we started the show. So then it wouldn't seem weird, I was like, okay, I'll get up and go to the bathroom. Yeah, so we started the show like 20 minutes. Started the show, I was like, okay. The second the show turns on.

Literally the second we turn it on, I said, okay, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick go grab the test bring it out Abby was just completely shocked and I loved it so much because she just couldn't like we were watching Housewives. I knew that that was like in the near future for you guys but we'd always said it was gonna be in a couple of months. You said it was gonna be in the new year but they also like I'm also so planned like why would I do it earlier than what I'm telling you I'm gonna do it That's true. There's that thank you but then also the way like I hate the video of it because the way my face is literally just like

My little brother did what like I? Remind way, I don't know if that's what my life, but that's what my face is saying Oh my god, like I'm literally like. The minute your boy. And I turn and look at late. She's totally saying. Tell you, the minute Griffin and Augie are married and have children. I think you're gonna.

Like I didn't expect. If you expect your brother. I didn't expect that to happen, but in my first, I was like, I think it was a lot of things. I was like, my little brother is gonna be a father. Oh my gosh. He's a baby.

That's a lot. But then also like my face was like, I was so overcome with joy, but then also I was just like, but I shut off for a second someone unplug me To like cuz I feel like I could I never cut cut you off guard like with anything and so I'm like this was amazing I could catch her off guard. I hate that I'm not like smiling or crying Here's the thing the video. I just turned off the video. Oh, she gets excited and starts hugging me I turn off the video and Once she gets excited and starts hugging me, I turn off the video.

And then we sat there and talked for 45 minutes and then she also convinced us to go over and tell the rest of the family that night. I was like, my mom will kill me. So like, Abby was excited. She was like, come on, we should go tell everyone. Let's do it. I'm like, Blake, can we go tell everyone?

He's like, I don't know. I'm like, come on, Blake, we're gonna go. Abby and I are going, are you coming? Yeah. We're gonna go, we gotta go. Blake always needs a little bit of a push anyway though. He just needs a push. That's just his personality. Yes, and so I think he was still processing everything.

But yeah, so then we had told Abby and then she convinced us and so we went over and just told the rest of the family and I just showed them that. I just walked in and I was like. My mom seemed like she thought that was expected. She had a very like, immediately like, ah! Good. And then Matt was surprised.

Matt was so surprised. My dad's reaction was always overwhelming. He was in the bathroom. Your dad was in the bathroom. You know a lot is going on in his head, but just outwardly. Just like Blake, where there's not much going on. He's just like, congrats, but you know it means so much to them, but also they just can't show it. Your dad also just loves kids, so I was like,

I can't wait to see him. Yay! I love you, girl. That was the best, I remember that so well. I'll always remember that. And then I told you just a couple days later, when I saw you, and I wasn't gonna see you for a couple more days but then

like I needed to run over and drop something off I'm like I'm gonna tell her I'm like Blake can I tell her? I kept the pregnancy test also just in my fanny pack in case I needed it for anything to tell anyone. Just in case I wanted to. I don't think a pee is a weird thing. Blake thinks a pee is so weird. That is something that you physically peed on. Why do you use it? Some people are that way too, but I don't think it's weird. Ali's weird at all. I don't think he's weird. He's like, other people will touch it or hold it.

I'm like, I don't think that's weird. No, not a bit. I don't even register that someone peed on it. Also, we have children, there's pee literally everywhere. Yeah, well, at least it's not poo. It's okay. I didn't poop on it. Also, mine was in a cup, so it wasn't like,

I wasn't just spraying everywhere either. It was contained. It was contained. But with you, I had just come over and I started recording because I had gone to the dentist that day and they turned me away because I was pregnant and they needed approvals from my doctor.

Which is so weird. So weird. Were you gonna get nitrogas or something? No, no, no, no. This was just a regular checkup cleaning situation. That's never happened to me. Yeah, so weird. So weird. Were you gonna get nitrogas or something? No, no, no, no. This was just a regular checkup cleaning. That's never happened to me. Yeah, I never heard of that. Situation.

And because on the inquiry form you had to mark if you were pregnant or not, I'm like, I literally found out yesterday that I'm pregnant. But they're like, we need approval from your doctor. I'm like, okay. So I come over and you were like, literally I walk in here. Which Caleb and Abby had just, Caleb asked me an hour before that. Yeah, I said it. Do you think they're gonna have kids soon?

Remember that? Oh, when we were putting up the pictures? Yes. That's funny. And he before that, do you think they're gonna have kids soon? Remember that? Oh, when we were putting up the pictures? Yes. That's funny. And he was like, do you think they're gonna have kids? Yeah, you were kinda weird. I knew she knew.

I was? Well, you were like, mm, I don't know. You got tense. I didn't think anything of it, but looking back, I'm like, shh. You're lying. I played it off so well. I don't think so.

When I told Caleb, he was like, Abby knew? See? That's what Abby said. Okay, I'll't think I knew see that's what you said Okay Matt even tells me all the time. He's like you could lie to me and I would never know I wouldn't do it But you wouldn't do it. There's an example. That was a white lie. I did I was like How's your day I was like good I like started, how was your day? I was like, good. I started recording, I'm taking pictures of the, I was like, I need another picture of these pictures, this video of the pictures on the wall.

Mixed tiles. On the mixed tiles. Thank you for the beautiful mural. And I was like, oh, it was good, but I got turned away from the dentist because I'm pregnant. And you were like, what? I was shocked. I don't think I knew that you guys were trying. No, I think we had planned to start in the new year

and then that's an off topic topic that we'll talk about later. Yeah, no. Okay, we can actually bring it up right now. There's a list, there are very few things that the sister-in-law, this was a question that our producer came up with. She was like, are there any topics that are like

off limits between the sister-in-laws? And I'm like, yes, there's one. There's just one. We can talk about pretty much anything and it only goes one way. Me and you, can we say sex on this podcast? I think we can say sex on this podcast. So, I can talk about sex with you. You can talk about sex with me. I can talk about sex with you but you can't talk about sex. And I can talk about it without you. You guys can talk about sex with me. I can talk about sex with you, but you can't talk about sex. And I can talk about it with Abigail, but. You guys can talk about sex with each other. We get all the tea. One time we were at dinner, oh my gosh,

Blake hates that I talk to other, but it's a girl thing, I feel like it's an open thing. Blake doesn't like it? No, that I talk to other girls about it. He's like, you can eat it and get that off your chest. I'm like, we just need to discuss what's happening. And I'm like, Abby, close your ears. I need to tell Abigail something.

I would not only close my ears, I hum. So I'm like, I can't not. I cannot. I'm sorry. Like, you have a little brother. Yeah, I do. He doesn't have a girlfriend yet. We're about that bricked when you get that.

We'll cross that bridge another day. I feel like it's just a little different. Yeah, we don't really talk about it, my sisters and I. Oh, okay. So I get it. Okay, I'm like, no, I don't. That's the one thing. That's the one thing.

And it comes up so much, I'm just like, what, brick wall. We can't, we can't, I agree with that. We gotta brick wall, do a U-turn. Gotta stop there. Also, your guys' pregnancies are going way slower than any of mine ever gone. What do you mean by that gone What do you mean?

Man, they gotta be ready to have a baby soon Freaking mom Almost halfway like I don't know I think it's just what like being like close with y'all and but just like not being pregnant like man mistakes forever I've been thinking about everything like why nine like a long time like mentally you do need to prepare but I'm like I just let's just get her here I'm ready. I felt like nine months was the perfect amount of time with CJ because we had a lot of shaping up to do. Well I didn't feel like it was slow with either either time I was

pregnant like personally yeah walking through it I'm like oh my god cuz I think there's nothing I can do right now yeah I mean I feel like the first like when I had the morning sickness it was the longest like it was going so slow and now I'm like I'm already 18 weeks like I'm almost halfway there that's crazy like that's the fact that I'm already in my second trimester. I'm like, why where'd the first one go? Yeah, you were pretty sick. Yeah, I was the first like six to ten weeks I was like down bad like nausea all day like nothing would work and then like unisome and b6 were my cure I know a lot of people talk about those two and guess what Blake did the research

That's how he cared for me I I'm like, you tell me everything. He bought me everything. The bands, the gummies for like, what is it, ginger, like candies and all the different stuff that you could get, he got it for me. But just like those together and then eating all the time. If I like, ramen noodles was like one week, I had to have ramen noodles.

If I didn't have it within like 10 minutes of the fact that I felt like I needed it, I'd get sick. So it was just, but ever since then it's been pretty good. It's the worst. Yeah. Abby, you get sick? I don't get sick. I was very, I've been very tired.

I'm 12 weeks tomorrow. So almost out of the first trimester and I am like, oh yeah, so tired. I've just been on my back every day at like one. I just lay down. I've watched a lot of TV during the day, which never happens and just like really have not been able to work or do anything.

And also this time around you have a baby. Yeah, which actually I feel like it's been, I don't know if it's necessarily CJ's making me more tired. I don't remember feeling this tired when I was pregnant with CJ. But you couldn't rest when you need now though, like anytime you need to. And you have to get up whenever.

Yeah, I feel like the mornings maybe, but I have good energy in the mornings. It's like once the coffee wears off, then I'm doomed. So I don't know, I'm like, because CJ doesn't have, he's got a lot of energy, but it's not, I keep independently plays really well, and my parents watch him a lot in the afternoons and I'm really tired, so I feel like it hasn't been,

I don't know, I don't know if that's been the factor, if I've just been way more tired, just physically feeling it way harder. And- I have a question about that. So for me, example, first pregnancy, morning sickness, tired, I was like, everyone's like, it gets better. I'm like, I know you're saying that I don't believe it

because I feel horrible right now and you just can't think to the future. You've been there, you've gone through it before. Are you like, I know it's gonna get better. Mentally, it's easier than the first time around, would you say? Yes. Yeah, well maybe a little longer because I'm like,

oh, I just have to get to 12, 13 weeks and then I'll be better. So then I know that that time, so I'm like waiting for that day on the calendar. So maybe it feels a little longer, maybe more so. But I think, yeah, mentally I don't feel as like freaked out by things or as unsure. I'm like, oh, this is just because of pregnancy.

You know, I can, I feel like I understand that these symptoms I have are because of that. Whereas before I'm like, am I sick? Is my nose runny? But I was like just pregnant. That makes sense. Neither one of you got like any like weird before I'm like, am I sick? Is my nose runny? But I was like just pregnant. That makes sense. Neither one of you got like any like weird symptoms I feel like.

No. My nipples hurt so bad both times. Lose T.J. Yeah. Like so bad. Tender breast is the first thing that I, like symptom I had. Oh really?

That was the first one I had at five weeks. I would have to cover myself in the shower. I would have to cover the nips. Like they were burned so bad in the shower. Like so effing bad. I would say that is something no one shower. What about the nips? Like they were burned so bad in the shower, like so effing bad. I would say that is something no one told me. And then I talked to you about it and I was like, okay good, I'm not the only one.

But like when they get cold. Cold, it hurts so bad. Oh, it hurts so bad. I was in Utah both times. In the first time I was with both kids. They hurt this time when we were in Utah. I literally was about to cry. I did cry.

They hurt so bad. And getting in the shower, it just feels like burning like you cannot believe. Wow. Like I dipped them in chili powder. Wow. Crazy. You scratched them up and then dipped them in powder.

I'm gonna look down and be like expecting to see something. Wow. Nothing. Yeah, weird. Also like cravings or like aversions. I didn't have any of those. No, me neither. I haven't had any like real like cravings.

You guys got me wondering if I was faking it. Crazy things. Aversions, not really either, just smells. It was more so my thing, not food. Yeah, I feel like with CJ, I was like, no, I don't really have any cravings. But then I looked back and I was like, wow, I downed the potatoes.

And I downed the oranges. But mostly potatoes. I hit a lot of potatoes. Those are good cravings. One week I made potato soup three times. Wow. It's all me. Like Caleb, it doesn't sound good?

Caleb, like potato soup again? I'm addicted. I feel like I have like fixations each week. Like maybe that's what the cravings are, but I'm like apples maybe are my one thing right now. Apples every single day sound good with a little lime juice on them. I think my weird symptoms came the third trimester.

I got carpal tunnel really bad in my hands and feet. I heard that. That was awful. What does that even feel like? I would wake up in the morning and my feet would hurt so bad I couldn't put them on the ground. I would crawl to the bathroom.

Oh my gosh. Cause they would hurt so bad. Almost like from being stiff in bed and not using them. And then I would wake up and I would go to kill But I would just cry I'm like my feet hurt so bad I can't stand and I my hands like I couldn't hold things like I couldn't I would try I remember I tried working out I can't even hold a two-pound weight like it just hurt so bad. What causes that? Um, I think it's the swelling of the joint. It's almost like arthritis and joint feeling

Potential that's horrible. Not science. I kind of forgot about that. That could be wrong. That sounds right to me. Yeah, it was very painful. That feels right. So I feel like I had weirder stuff, come on later. Interesting.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm like, I don't feel like I have too many. I got my first stretch marks on that boobies. Woo! Welcome to the club. Yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday I said, that wasn't there before.

That wasn't there. He goes, are you using all the creams he got me? I'm like, yes I am. Oh, come on, just shove it. I am. You can't help it. He's like, so did you put them on him today? I'm like, yes, I put them on today.

I think those are all a scam, by the way. I think it's genetics. If you're going to get stretch marks, you're going to get stretch marks. I have stretch marks already, like in my hips and my legs. It's going to happen. I'm like, I'm just going to get them. I'm prone to them. We love them. You know what? I actually was worried with Griffin. I was like, I'm gonna hate that I feel like I'm gonna hate that literally don't give a rat's booty a foul

Yeah, you don't even think about it. I'm so curious. In fact that's the least of my concerns Yeah, I'm like the way that bat looks. Yeah, it's not a big deal But it is sometimes I'm like well it is what it is You know it's not like I'm like I love them like it's not like I'm like yeah I'm not I don't I feel think about I feel here nor there about it. Yeah, I feel here nor there I just don't think about it. Don't think about it. Yeah, I feel like I'm like oh Especially here. I'm like I don't care Like really yeah, oh yeah, especially on the boobs I mean one person and a baby one person and baby And then we're getting too close to the wall actually.

And the baby not forever. I'm gonna wrap that up. I'm gonna wrap that up. Yay. Okay, so you guys found out the gender. Did you find out like 10 weeks? We found out at, yeah I think 10 weeks we found out the gender.

We did a blood test. Fun fact, if you try and do the test through your doctor, they're gonna charge you an outrageous amount. Just go to a blood center, get the blood test, get like peek-a-boo or sneak peek for 100 bucks. Do it that way instead, if you wanna do it early. And so we definitely wanted to find out the gender. Blake is, again, not a social media guy, very private.

And so he wanted to find out, like do it on our own, find out the gender first, and then we'll do a reveal for everyone else. And so we did the test. It came back in like three days, which was like so nice. Didn't have to wait. Did you feel any instinct? I felt like I was leaning girl.

I think Blake and I were both leaning girl with like what we thought it was, but like I seriously had no idea. I think Blake and I were both leaning girl with what we thought it was, but I seriously had no idea. I think the only reason I thought girl was because there were no boys in the family. That's the only thing that I was like. You guys gave strong girl vibes. Yeah, Blake does feel girl.

Girl dad? You actually also kinda feel like girl mom. Yeah, yeah. I love that. I could see you'd be a dance mom. I also had two, yeah, I'd be a dance mom. I have two older sisters, so they were like three girls and then a boy in my family, and so I was like, it makes sense if I have a dance mom. I also have two sisters, yeah, I'd be a dance mom. I have two older sisters, so they were like three girls and then a boy in my family, and so I was like,

it makes sense if I have a girl first. And so, Got the Blood test came back, I was like, I wanna do something special, even though Blake just wants to look at the test. He doesn't care about doing anything fun or special, and I was like, I don't really wanna do the cake thing, I don't really wanna do some of these other ideas, so I ordered these books off Amazon that said why a son needs a mom, why a daughter needs

a dad. And I bought them in the sets and then I brought them to burn. Shout out Amanda, she's great. She did it for me, the trainer. So I brought it in, I gave her my phone, I said here, open up the email, put the right books in this bag and then tape up this Amazon box so I don't get in it. Luckily we lived like five minutes, so I like sprinted over there, she did it, we came home,

and I was like, okay, Blake, let's do it. He's like, one second, you know, we got stuff to do. Like, made me wait like 30 more minutes, and I'm like, are you kidding me? And so. He was probably going with his own stuff. Yeah. He's just and I'm like, are you kidding me? And so, it's probably self control. He's probably going with his own stuff. Yeah. He's just like, probably like,

let me sort through this for a second. Let me go get my hair wet, put my contacts in, like I'll go get a little ready for this. And so, then we like opened it up and I was like, I saw it, like I saw it, I just read it and I was like, oh my God. I just read it and I was like, oh my God. It was such a shock moment, but also he was like, I knew it was gonna be a girl.

I just knew it was gonna be a girl. And so it was really just a sweet moment. We got to have just the two of us, which was, I started crying, because I was like, this is so sweet, and all the other boys in the family, it's gonna be so exciting. She's gonna be spoiled rotten. She'll be great.

But then we saved that information for like three weeks. I told everyone I was pregnant like the day and the day after I found out. Trying to not tell everyone the gender for three weeks was not a smart idea on my end. I didn't crack, I didn't tell anyone. What did you guys think it was? Oh, I thought I was so confident that baby was a girl. I'm ticked because I've said that you guys think it was? Oh, I thought I was so confident that baby was a girl.

I'm ticked because I've said that you guys were gonna have a girl since you guys got married. Like I was like, they're gonna have a girl first. They're gonna have two, they're gonna have a girl and it's gonna be a boy. It's gonna literally just be like a replica of our family. That's what I want. And I was like, that's gonna happen.

And then my mom, freaking Lori, she just starts giving me all of her data. A lot of the data comes back from me saying my preferences also. Yeah, and then you change your mind. And Addy was really excited when she found out. He was like, I was excited, but Addy was really excited. That was one of her big data points. She had several good facts.

She said, you both were like, I- I couldn't deny the facts. She said, Blake, me in a comment about how, oh yeah, someone needs to have a girl because there's a lot of boy energy or something. And so she took that as a little boy. She had so many facts and I was like, you know what? I can't deny facts. And so I switched to boy. She was like, I texted her. I was texting her. I was like, so what do you think it is? She goes, I know it's a boy in all caps. I said, fair, no, Lori.

Oh. I was like, fair. But you know what, why did I even believe her? Because she's been wrong about every single guess she's made ever. Statistically, that's not even likely either. That's just as unlikely as predicting it. It's pretty impressive.

It's impressive. So I'm mad. Yeah, so we had a gender reveal party, but just for family and friends to tell them all, but we already had known it was a girl, so that was really fun. So fun. Abby, do you want to tell Addie your philosophy

on finding out the gender? What's my philosophy? That it's cheating. I'm like, it's just so exciting to wait. But if the information is there, it's technically not cheating. I know, I don't know why I feel so passionate. Maybe because I just get stuck on things sometimes.

I'm like, that is just cool. It just feels cool. No, here's what's the problem though. You actually have a preference. I know, I think because everyone finds out the gender, I just wanna be different. You're not like that normally though. Deep down and sad again.

Yeah, I've never liked to go with the grain on things and then I'm like, I'm just gonna do it my way. I think it's a middle-tail thing. The reason I'm against this is because straight from your own mouth, after having CJ, you're like, next time I'm gonna need to know. I didn't say that. And I was like, okay, good.

Because you wanted a girl. The fact that you remember that is for you. And I was like, I'm gonna hold to know because I say that and you're like and I was like, okay good Because you wanted a girl the fact you remember that and I was like I'm gonna hold her accountable to this because I I Am of the opinion that the day your baby is born could not get more excited You've maxed out in fact, I have met over max out to the point where I don't even like really cry when I hold my baby Because I'm just kind of like it's a lot and it's emotion overload like I I cry about like the littlest of things. So then when that happens, I'm like, I can't cry right now. It's kind of like we've dissociated. Maybe it's because I don't cry about the other stuff

that I'm like, I need the moment. Oh, okay. Do you know what I mean? When CJ finding out that he was a boy was the craziest feeling ever. Laying there on the table with my arms strapped down. Yeah, it was like, based on watching you, I couldn't tell there was the crazy

You're like boy and they're like I could just feel like your eyes were floating. Yeah, I think I was floating but Also crying I feel like like my planner personality is like I have to know So I can like plan for it versus like you can be a little more like go the flow. Yeah, I I'm like we're not even gonna have a nursery for this baby until after the baby's here. So there's nothing for me to really plan. So I'm like let's just save the big moments all for the big day.

See for me like when I'm pregnant, both times I felt kind of just like things are happening to my body and I have to remind myself that that is happening because there was a baby in there. And then I'm like a baby is a person that is my son or daughter. Like I felt like I have a hard time processing it,

grasping it, even though I feel really connected to my body at that time. But also I'm just like, what is this other body in here? And so having a gender helps me put my mind around it. Because then I can give the baby the name and start to just process. Because usually I just do things and then I'm like, wow, after the moment is when I process.

So I feel like that's what I would have done and then I'm like, I'm not in the place to process that after, like postpartum. Yeah, 100% actually I would agree. I don't think during the pregnancy with CJ I didn't really connect with the baby in my belly, but I didn't find that that affected me after pregnancy. You know, your baby's there, it's like, oh my gosh.

Yeah. No matter what. I feel like I still sometimes say like it or the baby or I don't say she or she has a name too and so I'm like trying to call her by, like call her her name like when we're talking about her and I'm like, it just feels weird right now. Like I'm like, the more I say, the more,

it's just like when you get married and you're like, my husband, my husband, I'm a wife, you're like, it feels weird. It feels weird at the first couple times, and just gotta get used to it. I honestly felt that too with people calling me mom and like mama, I was like, even with the nurses saying it when I was giving birth,

I was like, shush. I was like, my name's Abby, actually. I didn't identify with that yet. So now I don't think twice about it, but at that time, I remember just being like It was kind of gross for some reason like why yeah, why was that kind of gross? And I was like don't say that in front of my mom I felt even weirder when they called me that in front of my mom. I'm like she's the mom

She is the mother child. I am NOT the mother Like I felt so like honestly grossed out, but I didn't feel that anymore. Like with Loggy or anything. Yeah. But yeah, okay. Well Abby, really hope you change your mind. But I support you. I don't know. I know you won't.

I wanted to know if you're gonna be playing with my little girl. It's so funny. I also, we don't do any of the genetic testing stuff. So I felt like we didn't need to, I don't know. I wasn't gonna find out. Yeah, that's why I found out about 20 weeks. But yeah, the anatomy scan was a a good time good halfway midpoint for me

I wonder if that's something different literally for the nurses or like for the obese like when you're like I don't want to find out the gender. Yeah, like doing everything they're like and you want to slip up like with the first one I'm not gonna make small talk anymore because they did mess up But I blame myself. I shouldn't have made small talk. I'm gonna tell her I don't want to know and I want you to zip it. You think it's a girl though. I do. I'm gonna tell them to zip it. I wish my girl could be best friend. I know I wanted to be a girl so bad. Here's the thing I also thought CJ was gonna be a girl but deep down I knew he was gonna be a boy so I don't know if I just lied to myself. I think I got gaslight myself but I also I'm like I think I got to lie to myself.

But I also am like, I think God will give me a dream. He gave me a dream that CJ, that I gave birth to a boy twice and I was like, they weren't divine dreams. Yes they were. Yes they were. Yeah, actually they were. So I think this time I'll let you know what the dream tells me.

Okay. Yeah. Have you had any dreams? No, not any dreams. I had a dream about the main. I had dreams I'm pregnant every night, unfortunately. Wow. Not every night.

I would say it's my most common dream. Other people have dreams that I'm pregnant as well. Bella texted me the other day, she's like, take a test, I think you're pregnant. And I was like, I'm not. I've never had a dream like that. She's like, I just had a dream that you were, are you sure?

And I was like, I am sure. I feel like I don't dream about the people in my life. I don't really dream. I don't really dream either. Okay, I dream. That's why I know they're divine. Sometimes I have dreams that I am sure. I feel like I don't dream about the people in my life. I don't really dream. I don't really dream either. Okay, I dream. That's why I know they're divine. Sometimes I have dreams that I'm pregnant with twins. Sometimes I have dreams that I woke up

and I was 40 weeks pregnant and I was giving birth. Oh, wow. Sometimes I have dreams that I'm about to have a baby and I didn't know I was pregnant. And these are your stress dreams? I might have problems. Actually, the other day I was describing a feeling that I have to Angel, who is a therapist, and she was like, Abby, that is dissociating. I was like a feeling that I have to Angel who is a therapist.

And she's like Abby that is dissociating. I was like no but it's like I can just look back at my hands and I know that I'm in my body. And she's like no that is a grounding. That is a grounding. I just want to get you to stop dissociating. She said it's actually textbook. I was like shut up.

I don't think I know what that means. Like dissociating. I was just explaining this feeling that I had That's actually textbook I I was just explaining this feeling that I had since I was a kid to her and you may explain it to you Yeah, I'm actually okay. So like Okay, I'm really fine But like ever since I was a kid like I could make myself have this feeling where I would sometimes I would do it I would do it unintentionally and then I realized I could control it But I would be like sitting in a room and I would just like be kind of like zoning out and I'd be like What if I was it so I could do it in this room? I'd be like what if I was addy like what if I'm not myself and what if I was addy and it literally feels like

My thoughts like literally get out of my head I'm not thinking my own thoughts at that point and And I feel like I'm thinking from Addy's perspective. But then sometimes it goes in limbo. I'm not in anyone's body. Mostly it stays like that where I'm just in limbo. I'm like, oh gosh, I gotta get back in my own body. I gotta get back in my own body. It's my thoughts.

And I'm like, it's so weird. I had never had told anyone of this feeling because sometimes it would start to happen and I felt like I couldn't control it. And I'd be like, oh man, it's happening. I would start to panic. So I'm like, oh no, no, no, it's starting to happen. And I don't want, like I felt like I couldn't control it. And I'd be like, oh man, it's happening. Like I would start to panic. So I'm like, oh no, no, it's starting to happen. And I don't want it.

I want to be in my own body. And like, I didn't really have words for it. And also I was so afraid to tell people that, that I was like, this is such a weird thing that I'm like, it's probably just a me thing. And then I explained to Angel and I was like, but don't worry, I found a way to get it back in my body. If I just look down at my hands,

then I know that I'm in my own perspective. She's like, that is actually textbook to self-sacrifice. I was like, you know what it sounds like to me? Witchcraft. I'm a witch. I'm a witch. I'm just kidding. That's crazy. Well, I'll never share my thoughts with you anymore. No, that's really, it sounds kind of cool. Is it scary? It was cool as a kid and then it was scary. And then now I know how to make it stop. So it's not like something that happens all the time, but I don't like it.

Cause I'm like, what if I stay outside in that limbo? Cause sometimes it's hard for me to get back into my own brain. I don't know. Then other people were like, maybe you're just really empathetic, which I'm like, maybe. But I don't know. Cause sometimes it's hard for me to get back into my own brain. Like, I don't know. Then other people were like, maybe you're just really empathetic, which I'm like, maybe. But I don't know, because sometimes it's not even necessarily

an extremely emotional situation. Like it could be the most random. We're at McDonald's, you know, and it'll happen, so. Weird. You are very empathetic, but I've never. I don't call myself an empath, or anything like that,

but that happens to me. Wow, that makes sense. I feel like that makes sense with it being called disassociating. Yeah. I feel like I've always heard that term, but I didn't know what that meant. Like it's not happening at a point of trauma either.

Like it literally happens at the most random times. I'm just like, like. Maybe it's when you start to like doze off or something. Maybe. Like it happened to me in school. Like I would be like, oh no, no, no, no, no, nothing. Not this right now. I never told anybody that.

Like until I was an adult. And I was like, oh, that's what that is. OK, great. I was like, everyone, has anyone ever felt this way? I think it was at book club. And they were like, no. Is that where Angel said it's just us? Yeah.

She's across the room. She's like, um. I actually know what that is. I was like, shut, I actually know that is Being having like words to put around it Oh, yes and no because I feel like dissociating is used a lot nowadays, especially like around trauma And so I'm like, but I don't feel like I've gone through like I don't feel like a victim of anything like that So then I was like, but I don't deserve that title for this. It's really not that it's just a weird thing My brain goes into like this. It's really not that, it's just a weird thing.

My brain goes into like space. Just normal. Yeah, okay. So no, Abby, I fully support your decision, whatever. I'm gonna be biting my nails and peeping my pants. Peeping my pants. Peeping my pants on September or whatever this baby comes. I'm so pumped.

Maybe October. Do you have your girl and boy names? I know your girl name. You don't have to say them. Yeah, I don't have. Maybe October. Do you have your girl and boy names? I know your girl name. You don't have to say them. Yeah, I don't have another boy name. Caleb and I don't have to talk about that for a long time. We only had boy names.

Girl names were tough. I feel the opposite. I feel like there's so many good girl names, but I feel like boy names are hard. I still have more boy names, but no girl names, which makes me feel like I'm never gonna have a girl. And everyone tells me that. When they see me, they're like, if you have another baby, unfortunately, it's gonna be another boy. I'm like, well, that. And everyone tells me that. When they see me they're like,

if you have another baby unfortunately it's gonna be another boy. I'm like, well that's great. They don't feel, actually that's another hot ticket. I don't feel offended when people are like, do you want a girl? I don't feel offended by that. I'm like, no, I mean I would love a girl,

but I'm not like set on it. But I'm not offended by that. Like I don't feel like that makes me feel like I'm lacking anything when people say that. Another thing, I know that I don't feel like that makes me feel like I'm lacking anything when people say that. Yeah. Another thing, I know that people don't like saying this, so I don't say it to other people either, but when they're like, oh, you got your hands full,

when people say that, I'm like, yeah, dude. I do. Yeah. Thank you actually for noticing. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing okay. Thank you for taking on me. I don't feel offended by it. I don't know, I think people take it in a negative way

when people aren't meaning it in a negative way. Yeah. Maybe like, I feel like I would be one of those people that would take it negatively, because I'd be like, so you're telling me that I look like I'm crazy right now? And that I feel crazy? Because what if I feel like I have it under control?

And then they tell me that my hands are full. I'm never under control. I guess I just don't like care of people. I'm like, maybe I look, but I feel great. Yeah, that's actually true. I'm like, if they think I look crazy, but I feel great, and they call me crazy, I'm never under control. I guess I just don't like carrot people. I'm like, maybe I look but I feel great Yeah, that's actually true. I'm like if they think I look crazy, but I feel great and they call me crazy I'm like you don't even know your tongue. You're wrong No, the other thing that people get offended about is what is it? Oh this thing I this does rub me the wrong way. When they're like, it gets better. That's where I'm like, that feels so like,

do I look like I'm unhappy because I'm actually the happiest person, I love this situation right here, right now, I'm fully, fully happy and actually overjoyed by what's happening. Or when they're like, just wait until they start walking or just wait until, I'm like, it's actually all the fun. I'm actually so excited. Yeah, I don't like that one either. You'll hate the newborn stage, I'm like, I's actually all the fun. I'm actually so excited. Yeah, I don't like that one either.

You don't hate the newborn stage, I'm like, I'm actually so excited to get to experience that. So I can't wait, you know? I know, I think that one is. I'm like, it'll be hard, sure, but. We could get rid of that. Okay, let's cut those out. Just beat it.

Beat it, that's for 2024. We're leaving that in 2024. We're leaving that in 2024. What are we gonna say in 2025? It is March, yeah. Just wait until they start walking, it's amazing. We're leaving that in 2024. We're leaving that in 2024. What are we gonna say in 2025? It is March. Just wait until they start walking. It's amazing. It's the best thing ever.

I actually love toxic positivity. I actually say it. I'm like, we're crushing it. We're crushing it. We're killing it right now. We're crushing it. We're doing great. Everything is amazing. We're killing it right now. We're crushing it. We're doing great. Everything is amazing. We love a pussy butt. I do love a pussy butt. I'm like it's all in your head.

If I had to tell myself it, it's true. No, literally. I'm like let's just, that's me. I'm like pretend like you're healthy right now and you'll feel healthy. That is you. That is so you. Nope, I don't feel sick. I'm going to the gym. I would never tell someone I was pregnant though gym I'm like you take a seat. Yeah Yeah yourself you're like no, I gotta keep going but if I was like Addy I was like I'm sick today You'd be like, oh my gosh, just go lay down. What can I get you? You know, and you'd be like I'm gonna go to the gym

Do all these things because I'm not saying growing alive even though I am sick You do say that you're like you're crying alive. I'm like no but I still have to function as a human being. You're growing a life that is very important. I do have to actually function. I'm very excited to be an aunt. Two more times. Can I be your guys' night nurse? How do we feel about that? Yeah. Yeah. Actually. Sure. Yeah. We'll put a day bed in the bedroom. We have a bed. I'm not gonna go to sleep. Yeah, it's true. You'll be nursing. I will be awake. Well, you won't actually be nursing now. That's right. Just kidding.

Yeah, I was like, easy. You are sorry. I don't want you to nurse my baby. That's okay. I would pump for you. I would try to make milk come. Yeah. Yeah.

Something feels really off about that. No. That's, yeah. I feel like I'm gonna take all the people up on their offers. Cause I feel like here's, not a, just like a thought of mine. The people who offer things,

maybe when I was listening to Vanessa Van Edwards podcast I thought about this, but you're actually loving them and giving something to them to take them up on their offers as well. You know, that's very kind of you. That's what I said, give them a gift. Give them the gift of being able to help you. You know, and take them up on their offers that people are asking for. Totally. When they're helping you.

I'm like, that's smart, because like you would probably feel so loved that I trust you to be able to do that with my baby. But I also would be offended if you're like, well, I'm gonna do that myself. Yeah, you want to either way. You are also allowed to change your mind once you have the baby, any time, any given time.

But I would think that would be so sweet. That would be fun. I'm planning on it with my mom, like my mom's gonna be here for a while, so I'm like, she can do some of them, you can do sweet. That would be fun. I'm planning on it with my mom, like my mom's gonna be here for a while, so I'm like she can do some of them, you can do one. That'd be great. You can't have one, I'm sorry. You're gonna be very pregnant.

I probably won't be able to wake up. I mean if you want it, I don't want it, yet you will be. I'm sleeping really hard. 40 weeks pregnant, it's okay. But if you were pregnant, I would trust you. Yeah. I'll bring you some meals.

Like taking people up on those offers I think is very nice. Abby, you had a C-section emergency first time. Yeah. You talked about that a lot. I wouldn't, if you want to know more about her birth experience last time, we have a whole episode on it. But do you think being pregnant again

has made you process your birth experience any differently or just made you like change what you wanna do for the future? Actually having, actually doing the podcast that we did after CJ's birth was very healing for me. Really? And helped me process it a lot because I think the feelings I felt a lot, I'll just summarize it, push for three and a half hours,

emergency C-section, hemorrhaged, CJ was in the NICU. So there were just a lot of big scary things that kind of happened and I felt super alone just because Caleb was with CJ in the NICU I was alone during all the like hemorrhaging stuff and I was very scared thinking back I had a lot of I had a lot of fear like thinking back to some of those moments but when I went on and shared I had a lot of people message me that went through something similar, and it just felt less isolating. And so I think I was able to process that super well.

And I think for the first maybe six, seven, eight months, I had anxiety thinking about going through labor again, but I also have a very distinct memory of when I was laying on the table, I remember that there was just stuff going off my body while I was pleading, and I was laying on the table, I remember that there was just stuff going on in my body while I was bleeding. And I was laying there and I thought, I would literally do this exact same thing all over again for another baby.

And so in that moment that was pretty intense and scary, I literally had that thought, like, I want to do this again. And so this time I don't really have any fear or anxiety going into it. I've talked to three, our practice has multiple different doctors and they rotate. So I've talked to three of them about a VBAC and two of them are very positive and one gave me some warning about it. So I feel like I have some

different opinions on it which is good. Like you want to know all the risks and things but I feel pretty set on trying for a V-back which is just a vaginal birth after cesarean if no one's familiar with that. What yeah it's we'll know closer as I get farther along. I like in my mind now that's what I want to do but I'm also and understand that there are gonna be things that could medically come up later that that's just not an option. But I really don't want another C-section if I don't have to. Yeah. I am just, I can see it happening.

I feel like it's gonna be great, smooth, amazing, be back experience. Yeah, thanks. I think, I really think so. The doctors that were really positive about it, one of them was a doctor that gave birth, like did my whole birth, was there for the pushing and the C-section and everything after.

And she said that she thought I'd be a good candidate for one. And then said that she thought I'd be a good candidate for one. And then the doctor that had warning, which I thought he made a good point because I did push for three and a half hours and I could see CJ's head the whole time. He said that could be a sign that I was just too narrow and he wouldn't have fit.

And so if I tried to push again and then pushing and then going back into another C-section after labor is dangerous. So I think there are gonna be a lot of things to consider, but I'm also pretty competitive with myself. I might not, I think I can do it. So we'll see. You got this.

We'll see. You got this. Yeah, we'll see though. We'll touch back when I'm like seven, eight, nine months pregnant. I don't. Can't make the babies go in. Yeah, we'll see though. We'll touch back when I'm like seven eight nine months pregnant Because maybe babies breach this time or you know, you never know you have zero expectations zero expectations and I feel like That's honestly like such a blessing to like not care how it goes You know, like I'm like the only thing I want is an epidural. And then if Blake researches and finds anything else

that we should or shouldn't do, I'm game for it. You know, I'm like, if it ends up being a vaginal birth, awesome, if it's a C-section, it's the way it's gotta be. And I'm like, I don't, I think maybe as I get further along, I'll start processing it a little bit more. But like, right now I'm like, I don't really have a first plan. Or maybe like, for your second.

Because I feel like, I don't really have a birth plan. Or maybe like for your second. Yeah. Because I feel like before you go through it. I have no idea. Like you're kind of like, it feels so imaginary. I'm so curious to see what my. I don't know what my body's gonna do. My story's like because like both of you have had pretty rough you know birth stories and then there's like a couple girls in our friend group that it's the best thing ever and they've

had great experiences so I'm so curious to see like I think most of my friends have had really beautiful births and so that always gives me hope um we're not the majority you know I don't feel like mine was that bad personally yeah I know Matt maybe says different yeah that's good what I hear about your birth with Griffin um that was pretty terrifying maybe I dissociated maybe did. Maybe you were the doctor of the room. It's good. You know what's really crazy? It's a powerful good.

Maybe I did, because I actually, when it was really intense, I actually saw myself looking up. That's cool. There you go. Probably dissociated. I was looking through my eyes and it was black. Yeah. That's crazy.

Oh. Doesn't seem good. I was about to like, uh. Encourage it? It was black. I mean about to like, Like encourage it. It was black. I mean, it probably helped you get through something that was super hard. Totally, afterwards I was happy as a clam.

Yeah. I was like, let's do it again. Yeah. I'm curious to see how Blake is and like during that whole process. Cause he's a, he cares. He's interesting. He's kind of like Abby where like,

my only example is throwing up. He's like, you don't need to do that. You're okay. And so I'm like, is he gonna think that everything's okay with every labor? It's a completely different situation. No, because he throws up but he doesn't give birth. So I feel like anything you say about birth,

like even me with Matt, when I ever had those early contractions, when I was late, he's like, are we going to the hospital? And I was like, I never saw him like that. where it was like I like man. I got you wrapped around Wrigley jumped on my belly while I was in bed. I was like oh my gosh. She just jumped like directly on her yeah and The next day Blake's like like do you feel okay? Did that actually hurt? Do you think there was actually an issue? I'm like, no, I just didn't want him to jump on my belly.

And so he's very protective with the dogs getting on my belly. So I'm like, I feel like when we get to those areas, he's very protective. I remember it was the week that we were home from the hospital, we had just obviously had surgery and Louis, my hundred pound dog jumped straight on my stomach

in the morning when I was still asleep. Cause he, yeah, it was pretty. It was actually very scary. Cause I thought I was internally bleeding. I wasn't, I was just freaked out. That is so painful. It was so, that makes me hurt so bad. It was really sad.

Oh, I remember what I was going to say. I don't think I'll be induced this time. Unless, just I know that't handle it. Well, yeah, unless obviously there's an emergency of some sort. But Yeah, I think that's a good goal to have cuz yeah, I I didn't want to be I don't know anything like we'll probably say that once he does his research on stuff I mean your your chance of having a c-section It's statistically much higher when you get if you get induced Interesting. Well, my doctor would say you're statistically not higher. Statistically. But she would say that I was the outlier.

Interesting. I feel like there's some. Oh, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's not a fact. I'm so sorry. No one comes here for facts. I had one doctor say that if you get induced, your chances of having a C-section go up.

And then I had another doctor tell me that's not, that wasn't the study. So I feel like they're gonna be conflicting studies here. No, no, no, because if you get induced your chances of having a C-section go up and then I had another doctor tell me that's not that that wasn't the study so I feel like they're gonna be conflicting studies here. No no because if you get induced you could just not progress yeah because your body wasn't like ready for it right that makes sense that seems to make sense I just remember begging them to break my water because I was like what but then they might not because they might want you to go back home I didn't know that was a I knew someone that tried to get induced and had to go back home hmm so didn't know that was a, I knew someone that tried to get induced and had to go back home. So anyway, it's gonna be great.

I really feel- We're not getting medical advice. We're not getting medical advice. In fact, if you say it's a fact, it still is maybe not a fact. It's still on the internet. It is. This is entertainment.

This is entertainment. This is entertainment. This is entertainment. Yeah, this is not for facts. This is not for facts. So I actually wanna read some of the questions that our producer came up with because This is entertainment.

We're not here for medical advice, political opinions. No, all of it. Your parents are sealed on that matter. We are. No, we're not. We're not on any of this. They're a tight ship. Actually, I did want to ask you, Abby, what things are you going to do differently postpartum

that you, like, are there any things you're like, I don't want to do that this time, I want to do this, or like, I don't want to do that this time. I want to do this. I were like, I don't know. Cause I had some things between the two. I think I will buy diapers this time. Okay. Yeah. I didn't know that was something you didn't have. I would have bought you a bunch.

I just used the big pads and then I used, I had a lot of the adult diapers. The adult diapers. I just let CJ be on himself. I thought you just like got home from the hospital and were like, wait, they don't go to the toilet. I don't really use diapers. I don't really use diapers.

That's hilarious. I don't remember much about postpartum, to be honest. I remember being really sweaty. Yeah. Like so sweaty, I'd take two or three showers a day. Yeah. I don't think I'll do anything. I actually think I did great postpartum.

You crushed it. I actually remember being like great postpartum. You crushed it. I actually remember being like, man, Abby has it so together, why am I struggling so much? No, I didn't feel like it. You didn't make me feel that way. It was my own journey. That was just going downhill. I think, yeah, I don't remember feeling like,

oh, I felt unprepared about anything. I just think I want the diapers for myself next time. Okay, I love that that was your first thought. Do the freedom one. I'll buy the diapers for myself next time. Okay, I love that that was your first thought. Do the freedom one. I'll buy the diapers for myself and for you. Baby Taro, I'll get you some diapers. I'll buy you both diapers. That'll be nice, thank you.

No, you gotta do the tucks and the, what's this foam? Oh my gosh, what's it? Derma? Dermoplast. Dermoplast. I need a whole kit. I didn't end up needing any of that even though I pushed and things were getting stretched out down there. I only needed it for Griffin. I didn't end up needing any of that because even though I pushed and things were getting stretched out down there.

I only needed it for Griffin. I didn't tear anything. So after like two days in the hospital, I wasn't sore down there. That's why I'm like, it's probably worth it to just buy it all and have it either way. You know, like in case. Oh, for, yeah.

I didn't like the- Well, they actually give you a bunch of stuff at the hospital. True, true, true. I didn't actually like the Freedom Mom underwear because they actually hurt my C-section scar. I had the C-section and the non non c-section ones. I liked the underwear I actually want a belly by next time if I have another baby, I think I would do that too Yeah, that was a mistake that I did that you like it holds you together. I remember laying in bed

I've seen people wear those it's more so after C-section though. You kind of just feel like, your body, yeah. You feel like you're more stable. I couldn't lay on my side because I didn't have the strength. I felt unraveled. Yeah, I didn't have the strength to sleep on my side. Oh. I remember like the core, you know, my core strength wasn't there to keep, hold me up.

So I had to lift my, which I like laid on my back. Those are rough times. But I think I would belly bind too. Okay. That's a good one. That's what I thought about for a third potential. Yeah, belly bind and diapers. And diapers.

For myself. Okay, I actually had a side note. I didn't view my birds as traumatic because barely any time had passed until I got pregnant again and my doctor was like, you are not ever gonna do that again. That was really scary and that was really, she kind of feared me into it.

I remember that because I was babysitting Griffin when you came home and you said, my doctor just told me I had to have a C-section. Yeah, she was like very adamant about it. She was like, I was there. She was like, I was there and it was, she's like, that was very dangerous. And I was like, oh.

And she's like, I was like, but I don't want to. And she was like, you might not be able to deliver, like I don't know if they would have delivered me at the hospital. Crazy times. Yeah. I'm glad you didn't feel that way in the moment then. How do you all avoid comparison in terms of being a mom

and expecting parent in relationship dynamics with your husbands? That's kind of a difficult question. Let's just simplify it to how do you avoid comparison? I don't feel like any of us are actually the kind of comparing type now that I think about it. I feel like we talked about that on the last episode too about how like, but even, I don't know if we talked

about like parenting like for you guys or anything, but I'm like, I feel like I watch YouTube Parent and I'm just like learning. Like at least being like not having a child, I'm more so learning and not being like, not gonna do that or you know, I'm like just learning techniques from you guys and I'm like, I don't feel like I'm gonna compare

other than if my child's like crazy and doesn't behave, I'm like, what the heck did I do? You know? Yeah, I feel like there's an aspect of like, we're all winging this and learning as we go. So I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing they don't know what they're doing so I can't judge or I oh I liked that I'll try that you know I think it's just taking things like oh I did like that or I don't know if I would do it that way but I don't know if it's right or wrong.

Maybe that's part of the like openness of like talking about like your maybe you guys too like the struggles of parenting and like that you don't feel like you know what you're doing so it's easier to not compare because you're like, I don't know. Yeah, I think so. Well, you also have different kids. So I don't know, this is a part of me that I'm like, yes, I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't know.

Something about being a mom, something filled me with so much self-assuredness and confidence in my abilities as a mom. I don't want this to come across as like egotistical or as like I think I have everything figured out because that's not the way that I am. Like that's not genuinely not the way that I feel but like a sense of confidence that is like unbreakable

filled me when I became a mom. Like not when I was pregnant and honestly, I don't know when I first noticed it but then I was like, I'm going to always make the best possible decision for this child That I like that I see fit personally and so like I'm never like I don't know I think that that's something that like comparison can't really Crack at I think that's a hundred percent true. Yeah, I was gonna wait to yeah I love CJ so much like I'm like this kid better than anybody in the world here.

Yeah, I'm not intentionally gonna do anything to harm him or I'm gonna do things to the best of my ability. So if I'm doing it to the best of my ability, then I can just have peace that that's my best. And maybe I'm like, other people do have higher caps than me and some people have lower capacity. So I'm like, I'm not gonna compare myself to someone who's like, they can run

at a million miles an hour. I'm not gonna compare myself, I just don't run at that pace. So it's like, I don't know, I don't feel. And know your self too. You know yourself and you know your child. And you're like, this is how we roll. Like the two of us. I feel that.

I'm curious how you guys feel because, I was thinking about this the other night because a lot of people are like, you have no idea what, you get a baby and you're like what do I do? I have no idea, I've never experienced this before. And I was like thinking about the other night, I was like I'm not really worried about that. I'm like I feel like I know the basic needs of a child

and I'll figure it out but maybe once I have it in my arms, again I said it, I'm just, the association's not there yet. When I have her in my arms I'm gonna be like, I might be a little more freaked out but Like, I'm just, the association's not there yet. When I have her in my arms, I'm gonna be like, I might be a little more freaked out, but right now I'm like, freaking out worried. If it happens, like I feel like it probably briefly happened. Don't get me wrong, like if it happens,

don't feel anything like less than because of that, but I really do feel like, I don't know, my hot take also, not hot take, I actually need to stop saying that. I know, I said it. My opinion is that our current culture celebrates anxious parenting. Oh my gosh, that is what I was gonna say.

Really? Finish your thought. No, you go ahead. That's my advice to all moms. I said learn less. That's how I feel. I'm like, figure it out for me and tell me what I need to do. Why did I spend so much time researching on the internet?

What to do if your baby doesn't sleep at night? What to do if your baby is colic? What to do if your baby doesn't drink this or that What to do if your baby is colic? What to do if your baby doesn't drink this or that? Or whatever that, or your baby gets sick with this. Why did I have to know all that beforehand? I don't. Like you figure it out as things come at you. And that's the beauty of it.

That's the beauty of the internet. I don't need to know before, I don't need to stress myself out beforehand. But as things come, you have then the ability, we have the internet, we have doctors, we have friends, family that can help us with answers. But to freak myself out beforehand about things, I remember I took a nursing class through my insurance

and that class stressed me out so much and I retained literally nothing. And I'm like, breastfeeding is gonna be crazy, I don't even understand the schedule. The minute CJ was there and the nurses were there, they help you. My nurses helped me, they taught me the schedule, they said every two hours write it down. Keep a log of this And then I didn't have to worry about it from there. No mom's even our own moms did not have that type of

Access because it's it's not as it can be a tool Yeah, but I think more where I think we're not using it as a tool. We're more so in general, generally speaking, using it to feed our own anxiety and our own worry. Worry is a natural part of being a parent. I think that there's nothing wrong with that, but the anxiety component, that's not something that we should praise, and it's something we should take care of,

the parents are experiencing that. But it's something that we gotta work through, not live in that state. And yeah, that's something I'm like, you know what, you don't become a better parent by having anxiety for your child. That also probably makes your child lack confidence in a way.

This probably doesn't affect them until they're older, but when they feel like there's such an anxious parent, then they feel probably not that confident to take risks or to try new things or to put themselves out there in different ways like I was anxious at times especially like postpartum like freshly about things and obviously like when my kids are sick but then also like when I finally was like let myself rest in the confidence that I was actually feeling like I was like this I'm gonna let this win because I think that this is going to make me a better mom and parent better.

I don't know. I don't know if I'm explaining that well. I think that makes sense. No, totally, and you'll enjoy the process a little more. Totally, you find so much more joy, because nothing can really throw you off that much. And I wonder if it's, for me, okay, so anxiety is like, I don't know if it's a symptom of pregnancy

or if it's my hormones or, I've never felt true anxiety before being pregnant. Where in your stomach and in your head, you can't think about anything else and you're so nervous, you can't sleep, things like that has not happened until I was pregnant. And it's happened multiple times being pregnant. And I don't know if it's the way my brain's processing, it's not about parenting, it's happened multiple times being pregnant and I don't

know if it's like the way my brain's processing it's not about parenting it's just about life or different things that are happening in my life and then maybe it's the life stage that Blake and I are in that there's different things that I have anxiety about but I'm like oh my brain. I think there is a sense we're not talking about anxiety that comes from hormones. No yeah yeah you're talking about no yeah it's different. That's probably what you're, I think that's probably what you're experiencing. If there is a like, and I don't wanna say irrational anxiety because.

No, I feel like it is. I wasn't normally anxious while I'm doing it. Yeah, I guess we were talking more so about like self-inflicted anxiety. Yes, no, for sure. But yeah, if you're experiencing that. It's a different symptom. I think that's really normal.

I've had a lot of friends have like pregnancy and postpartum anxiety. And that is like a diagnosed thing. Yeah. Yeah, I think I had that like, I don't want to say depression, but like I cried every single day that I was pregnant. Sometimes it wasn't even sad and I just cried. Well, that example, like last night waking Blake up

and being like, I need you to be awake with me right now. I've never done that ever. You know, two and a half years of marriage, never been like wake up, I've never done that, ever. You know, two and a half years of marriage, never been like, wake up, I feel anxious. You know, I'm like, pregnancy maybe. And so that's like the only symptom I feel like I've had emotionally. Your hormones could do literally anything to you.

Your hormones could do crazy things. That's the only thing I've noticed hormonally. Like honestly, that's that big, it's like the anxiety portion. I think the best thing to do is just always, like, wake him up, who cares? Like, you're like, um. We need to talk about it. This is a thing.

This is what happened last night. You can't let it fester, you gotta talk it out, and I'm sorry that's happening. He's always good about that. He's always like, oh, you're having anxiety about this? How about you just talk to that person that that's, that would, oh, yeah, that would probably work. But it doesn't. I'm sorry, I definitely think that's, that would've been like, oh. Yeah, that would probably work. But it doesn't.

Or how do you work through that? I'm sorry, I definitely think that's a pregnancy thing. Yeah, I hope it goes away. Or I learn ways to handle it. I was gonna say, there are some tools, I don't have them off the top of my head, but I can find them and send them to you that are like coping mechanisms.

That's great, because last night I just started thinking about the TV show, Traders, until I could fall asleep. I'm like, don't think about those other things, think about Traders. Was that effective? I did. But that was after I got sick and threw up and then I felt better and then I thought about Traders.

Wow, did you throw up because you were anxious then? It might have been. Like the anxiety woke me up. Oh gosh. And then I was like, oh my stomach hurts. Then I couldn't go back to sleep because I was thinking about things. And I feel like if I would have been able to go back to sleep I wouldn't have had to get sick. And it's not about pregnancy or have been able to go back to sleep I wouldn't have had to get sick.

And it's not about pregnancy or motherhood? It has nothing to do with pregnancy. It's just a feeling? Just a feeling and then there's like, then I like think about things that like happen throughout my day and I'm like, oh, this thing needs to be done and I haven't done it and if I don't do this then this will happen

and then this and this and this and this and I can't stop thinking about it. Which is weird, because then I go to bed I don't, like and if I don't do this, then this will happen, then this and this and this and I can't stop thinking about it. Which is weird, because then I go to bed, I don't, it's different. It's not weird. I mean, you're about to go through a huge life transition and I think it's really easy for us to, like you were saying Abby earlier,

you process after the fact and I do too. And then sometimes I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, that was a really stressful time, or that was really crazy, and in the moment, I didn't necessarily recognize it, but your body will show signs that you have stress or anxieties before you actually recognize it, that's what it is, and so I think there are a lot

of things going on, you and Blake are about to welcome a new baby girl into your family, and I mean, that's it. That's a massive thing. Or job loss. That is a massive thing. Job changes. Job changes. Things like just finances,

like having a baby, that's a big life change in like the finance area too. And jobs and thinking about like working and baby and life and baby and just wanting to be good at everything I'm doing while I'm also pregnant, you know, like just all the things. I don't like letting people down. I think that makes sense that why you would feel anxiety.

Totally. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think that anxiety itself is always rational or makes sense, like why you'd be worried about, like you're not worried about pregnancy or the things that you're actually like, the big things going on in your life.

But I think it's just a symptom of trying to figure out how to navigate these big life changes. Maybe you're catching it on the early end and I caught it on the late end. It'll be good later. Yeah. It'll be the goal. Yeah, I really do feel confident that like,

you will feel so much peace when you're babysitting. You know what, that's actually, I've had so many friends, I'm like, this isn't shared online a lot, but so many personal real life friends are like, I kinda always felt like I was in a fight or flight stage, and then I had my baby, and I felt just so much more calm, and so much more peace. And I don't know, it's just like,

when you're living, I don't know, your life, how you were supposed to live it, I think there is just like a, I don't know, your life, how you were supposed to live it, I think there is just like a, I don't know, a calm, that doesn't even make sense, but like there's just like a calm that comes over you like a piece. Showing kids on social media versus not. Abigail, how did you decide to show yourself online

versus Abby choosing not to? Do you ever feel weird because I don't? Like do you ever feel like, oh, she thinks I'm a bad person? No. No, because someone else asked me this. They're like, do you think about all the people that follow you or view yourself? And I said, honestly, and this isn't self-deprecating, but like you guys are on

such a massive scale that to me, I'm like, no one follows me. You know what I mean? Like no one's looking. I don't remember watching this podcast. Better go follow me. You know what I mean? I'm like, you guys are on such a different scale of things where I'm like, people magazine are writing articles about your family. There's gonna be a different level or like, I think there's gonna be just a different

level of precautions that you're gonna have to take. Whereas with CJ too, I don't, we're not always gonna show CJ or kids, but I think as they're little it hasn't hurt me or I haven't noticed things that I felt unsafe about online with him yet. But I also I'm only gonna show him in a positive light like I'll never share the bad I'm never gonna share him crying or throwing fits and like maybe does it all the time. Yeah. He always. He doesn't show them that. He's an angel child. But I think there's a tendency for people or like in the name of authenticity or vulnerability

to like show the realities of parenting. But I'm like, I'm not actually gonna put him in a light online that looks bad. Yeah. It's okay if it's my highlight reel. I think I kind of, for him. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, I think there's gonna be a point

where he gets to an age, and I don't think we're that far from it, where I don't show him anymore. Yeah, like I'm hearing you say, like you're like, I have boundaries around it it's not just because you show it like that's such a weird place to place the boundary. It's so personal too. Yeah. You're thinking that way. Yeah I think there is a level like sometimes I think about oh am I posting him too much

because I don't actually want people to have that much access to him. Yeah. You know I'm saying I think I do think about it a lot. But yeah, I think it's like when he goes from being a little baby and a little taller, it's like a little boy, I think there'll be a line that's probably like, he's not gonna be a part of it. It's really sweet. Sometimes when I'll post something

or like CJ's in the picture and like, Griffin and Argie aren't or something and people think it's one of your kids and they'll DM me and they'll be like, hey by the way, you're showing Abby's kids their faces. I'm like, it's CJ, they're okay with it. But it's like, people are protective of you too, which is nice and sweet of your boundaries

with your kids as well. I made a boo boo a couple weeks ago, I forgot to tell you. I'm not really. It was up for about five minutes, but I got several messages like thank you. That's also just not the purpose for it. No, that's not the purpose. So I'm like, I up for about five minutes, but I got several messages I think you like that's also just not not the purpose for so like yeah, I don't yeah. Yeah, there's no hard I don't think that Abby's a bad mom one thing I think

Feel like our friends too that choose each other. I'm like by the way. I think you're amazing. I don't like It's not me. It's not me So much with like but even before I lived here and before I was like much closer with you guys I don't, like, I'm not, it's not me, it's not me. People speculate so much. Even before I lived here, and before I was much closer with you guys, I was like, I hope they're still taking videos and pictures of the boys, and have those around their house and stuff, I'm like, we take a million pictures of those boys with their faces, and we have them,

and we have private stories where we're able to share those moments and things like that, but I'm like, all the pictures in your house have photos of the boys and their faces and things like that. So I feel like that can be a misconception online that they're like, but they're not saving those memories. I'm like, we have so many memories of the boys and their faces.

I'm like, wow, you really think you have 100% access to my camera? Yeah, no, I promise I take pictures that are not posted. No, I get to that all the time where I'm like, at the end of the day I'm like, ah crap, I haven't posted stories today. And I go through my, wait wait it's literally just my kids It's literally just them doing everything that they did throughout the day

But yeah, no that's what I think that also just goes back to comparison once again where I'm like There's not a part of me that like feels any type of way because I'm like that's between you and you maybe like This is kind of a weird one. So if you don't think of anything, we'll just move on. What is the story that stood out to you about Matt and Abby? Could be funny, emotional, embarrassing. That's so broad. So if you don't think of anything right away,

we can just do something else. Like in regards to parenting? I don't know, sure. I'm sure there are. I always think about when Augie was born. I don't know if you guys have ever shared this, but Augie was like a very colicky baby. I don't know if you guys would diagnose him that,

but I did. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The only way, I'll just never forget this, we'd be sitting in your kitchen and then Augie would start screaming and the only way to calm him down, it was middle of August,

would be to put him in the Solly wrap and you guys would full sprint right around the backyard. When it was like, oh, I turned 15 degrees outside and that was the only thing that would calm him down. One time I was watching him and I was just like jumping with it on. I'm like, come on. I was like, wow, like that's impressive.

Everyone in our family admitted once, all you turned like one, that they were scared of him. I was also a little scared. To get him to nurse, I had to do the same thing. It's very unfortunate because I had to be topless, just running and holding him like a torpedo, post-C section.

I was just like, why do you need this type of sprint? That just honestly matches his energy. He needs chaos to fall asleep. It's mad, it's mad, honestly. Love it. That's what energy. He needs chaos to fall asleep. Honestly, it's Matt. It's Matt, honestly. I love it. Comes from us. That's what actually Matt just told me the other day. He's like, I really think that Augie has my personality and Griffin has yours.

Because Griffin is like, Griffin's like empathetic, kind of sensitive, likes to read. And then Augie is just like, ah! I just, I always laugh and I always tell people about that. I'm like, you'll figure out exactly what your baby needs. Even if it's the craziest thing. Like, I don't know how you even figured that out. We had been exhausted, we had exhausted every other option.

I know, I'm like, you guys are great parents. And it was just funny. Had to cocoon him and then sprint. Yeah, right. Laps. You couldn't just cocoon and sway. That was not gonna do it. No, sway was not enough.

That was not gonna do it. Too gentle, that's too gentle for him. It had to be forward trajectory also. Not up and down. No. Not be doing laps around the island. He's like, I'm gonna lie. That is so true, up and down didn't work.

I literally would go forward, like bouncing like this. No. Up and down doesn't work, he needs forward motion. I was watching him one time when you guys were recording a podcast episode and we were like, I had to keep going in and outside and there was an alarm on the door and I'm like, they're recording but he's crying.

I can't put him down so I literally was just bouncing with him outside the whole time. I was like, he would not lay down. He never was in a lounger, baby. I love that story. Great times. He's gonna laugh about that Sunday. He'll be like, sorry.

You were crazy. But he's like so happy. Two people wouldn't like catch you at the right moment. They're like, this kid, are you serious? And I'm like, oh shut up. I love that he's crazy though. I literally love that. That's just the perfect match.

It's so fun. It's honestly, I'm like, your energy is amazing. Yeah. The funniest thing that I, like the video pops up every year on the day is like when we used to live in Springfield, and I think we were coming over for dinner one night to you and you and Matt's apartment, and I was recording a video, I was sitting with Blake,

I was like, they're making a TikTok right now. And I like turned it around, and you guys are like dancing in the kitchen. And it was like, obviously this was like before you guys like got so, the kitchen. And it was like, obviously this was like before you guys like got crazy, like got so crazy. So at some point you're like. You're probably like your brother or sister, or your sister's crazy.

And it was so funny, I was like kind of making fun of it and I'm like nope. Look who's on their podcast. I'm just putting on the family cousins trip and Matt made you get up and do a boat. You guys did a take, in the room when you guys are having babies? I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I here right now? I'm so excited! Okay am I gonna be in the room when you guys are having babies? Wow! I love you so much but I will not be there. Someone asked me if you were gonna be in the room with me. I always think that's a wild assumption. I didn't want my own mom. And I said before my mom?

But also love you mom? No. I didn't want my own mom there either. before my mom? But also love you mom. No. I didn't want my own mom either. Yeah I was like I just kind of wanted to be me and Matt and total strangers. Yeah I feel like for the multiples like when we get into three and four I probably have my mom in my room. Really? Don't hold me to that mom but. I think my mom was kind of offended that I didn't have her in the room. Well I feel like for the first but I think my mom was kind of offended that I didn't have her in the room. Well, I feel like for the first, it's very intimate. And it's such like a milestone, milestone life change.

And I'm like, well, I just want to experience it with Caleb. But I think for the others, it'd be fun. I feel like no one calms me down or like regulates me the best other than Blake. Like I love my mom, we've talked about this before. She's way more emotional than I am. And so she'd probably be like, really emotional,

I'd be fine, and I'd be like, mom, I need you to just take a break. You know, and so I'm like, Blake is like, the best person, because I'm very overly crazy, and he's like, so mellow. I'm like, I need that person in the room with me. My mom's a good suck it up lady, she'd be like, suck it up Abby.

She is, that would be, that might be Blake. She's a good tough love, really. One thing I was gonna say is that I'm so excited for your dad for a little girl. Oh my gosh. He's gonna be, like he's so sweet with the boys. I cannot. He literally cannot keep himself away from the kids.

Like he like, he just like sneaks out. Or like he also, yeah, with a girl though. If he's like sneaks out or like he also, yeah. He with a girl though. Like if he's like that with Griffin, like he's gonna, his corks are gonna melt with a girl. He talks about, he tells me stories like five times of the same story about something Griffin did, something Augie did.

Replays the video. Yeah, he's like, I literally hear the video while he's going to the bathroom. And I'm like, I'm like, is Griffin awake right now? I thought he was asleep. That's sweet. And I'm like, oh, it's just dad watching the video over the 20th time in the bathroom. He's gonna be, that's gonna be sweet.

So either she's gonna have a little bestie girl or she's gonna have a new boyfriend. Legally, that's fine, we're not actually related. Stop. Wait, your dad too will be so sweet. I thought, I loved being your dad at the gender reveal. I was like, oh my gosh, he's so fun. He went through everyone, he's like, I talked to all these different people and these are the things I learned about all of them. He's so sweet. I was like, oh my gosh He went through everybody's like I talked to all these different people and these are things I learned about all of them like oh

So this is that person that you talked to I know it's so sweet I'm like he's gonna be a great great sweet and my mom's gonna be just like so involved My mom was already like trying to figure out she loves babies She's gonna be a great person. They're so excited. Oh, yeah. She's gonna be so good with just like, I trust her so much. It's gonna be so good. I'm so excited. So excited. Big year, lots of things happening.

Thanks guys. Maybe next time we do an episode, we'll have new babies. We'll be nursing. Yeah, we might have the babies with us. I actually think I've done that for podcasts. You have. You have, yeah.

You have. You gotta do, you gotta do. You're a working mama. Working mama. Working mama. We'll just put it into existence that we'll be nursing and then Abby will be pregnant in the next one. Put it out there.

That's my goal. That's my hope for you. No, I want you to wait till I get pregnant again. Abby, the other day you told me that I could have another baby when you have your fourth and I was literally about to throw up. I was like, shut up. I'm just trying to give you reassurance.

I don't want that. I don't even want to wait till your third. I'll be pregnant with you when you have your third. I'm trying to reassure you, you don't have to have it right now if you don't want it. You gotta be pregnant with someone. Well let me. When you said that I was like Abby shut up.

You're fourth! You're fourth! Don't say it! You're coming back! You're coming back! You're barely the start. She's skipping the third. She's skipping the whole third. You don't even get the third. Seven years from now. I know.

I was literally like, well, how long does she think I'm wanting to wait this out? I'm basically chopping out the bit at the moment. No, what is keeping me calm is that you guys are having babies We're helping you scratch the it It will for sure it's so funny. Okay. Well, I'm so happy I can't wait to see you Auntie It's a big year follow them both follow Abby follow Addie. I don't know if Addie wants to follow you You can follow her but I don't post anything Follow Abby and

Yes follow Abby Thanks so much for listening Yes, thank you Bye