The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Parenting hot takes w/ Alex Bennett & Harrison Fugman

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

Matt & Abby are joined by Alex Bennett and her partner Harrison Fugman to unpack some of the internet’s spiciest parenting hot takes. From baby piercings and gender reveals to iPads at restaurants, swearing, and sleep training—they dive into the debates, share their personal takes, and compare experiences as new parents. This episode is sponsored by Zocdoc, Smalls & Hiya. Zocdoc: Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to ⁠https://Zocdoc.com/UNPLANNED⁠ to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Smalls: For a limited time only get 60% off your first order PLUS free shipping when you head to ⁠https://Smalls.com/UNPLANNED50⁠ Hiya: Go to ⁠https://hiyahealth.com/UNPLANNED⁠ and receive 50% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No frills, delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. No kids at a wedding, acceptable or rude? Totally acceptable. It's your wedding. So you get to pick.

I cannot think of what I've been to with kids. Wait, what? Who's the ring bears? Sleep training. Is it loving? We started out sleep training. And then what happened was at nine months, something changed in my heart. What would you say if one of your friends came to you and was like, okay, I'm done having kids and I really want to get a boob job. What do you think?

Like, heck yeah, girl. Have fun with your new boobs. Totally. Yeah, that's how I think about it. Let me see them. Welcome back to unplanned. Today we are joined by Harrison and Alex. Thank you for being here.

Thanks for giving us. There's a lot of studio audience. Wait. When people say your name, do they usually say like Alex and Harrison or like what order is? like, I would go as far as saying, I don't think anyone's ever said Harrison and Alex. No way. Yeah, I think so. Today, we are going to be playing a very fun game with them called parenting hot takes.

And they're not lame hot takes. I swear, they're actually really fun. We're going to have a lot of fun today. I think there's going to be a lot of laughs, a lot of giggles. Here's the first one we have. Piercing baby ears. Cute tradition or crossing a line. We should preface this by saying they have a 10-month-old daughter. Cute or crossing the line? Cute or crossing line? Why are you smiling, Harrison? Because like, for how many things Alex and I have spoken about and how much time we spend

together and how much time we talk about parenting and our daughter, this is when we've never talked about. You've never talked about this. We've never discussed. I have a thought on it, though. Okay, I'd love to hear. I think it's adorable. When I see a baby who has their ears pierced, I always think to myself, that looks so cute. For me personally, I cannot do it. And it's, it would be, I don't like crossing the line because I'm for it. But for me, I think it would hurt her and I can't do it. Yeah, what do you guys think? Is it how the game works?

Can we ask you back? No, we can all talk about. We can all talk. I don't know what I think. Abby, what do you think? I agree. It's so adorable. You don't have a daughter,

so I haven't thought about getting our sons. I feel like you would do it if we had a daughter. Maybe, but then I'm also like, I actually don't think I would because it's like a permanent decision. I know they can close up, but like mine surely haven't. I got my ears pierce when I was like six. But what about this one, though? Number two is gender reveals fun or narcissistic?

fun and narcissistic narcissistic to invite like a lot of people perhaps we did that we did too no it was just our family oh yeah it wasn't like we probably had

how many people were at the gender reveal 40 I don't know it's just family it was 30 30 okay let me say this I always said I was never gonna have a birthday party for the kids we celebrated her six month birthday party like I'm gonna have I'm like already planning her one year old okay knowing now like if

we win because we want to have another kid like when we have baby number two i will have a gender reveal it will be a thing i want to celebrate everything now so i actually want to say like i'm for it but you guys had one before you did have like we had one and it was family okay it was very fun but we are very much in a lean into events uh oh yeah phase right now like every like we are like we are like we are like we are But I wasn't in that before. I was like, why would they celebrate the kid's first birthday? The kid doesn't know. And now I'm like, we might have two parties.

Everything. We are very celebratory at the moment. Do you want to talk about the first gender reveal? I think it was kind of cool. We shot something. I'm from Oklahoma and we put up a target and Harrison shot like the target and it exploded pink. Oh, that's a fun way to do it. That's cool.

What did you guys do? Wait, did you know when you did the gender reveal for the family? Did you already know the gender? No. It was very surprising because we, it was very surprising because we, were at our doctor like a couple weeks prior and they referenced his leg oh and so we thought that it was a boy and we operated for a couple weeks thinking he was a boy but like we whatever still said we'll go through at the gender reveal and so we go through we blow up the the canister i had to call my sister

and be like hey like i you may think you made a mistake because they said you were like pretty sure that it was wrong and yeah so there was like this awkward like 30 seconds and i was like you got to recheck because one of our friends made this mistake because they looked at the woman's gender. Yeah, I've heard of that happening. Yeah, I was live part of one of those. Oh, thank you. So I had to call my sister thinking we had one of those and she's like, no. And it was a girl and we are, we are thrilled. What do you think about letting your child leave the house in their pajamas? Is that chill or is that shameful? I'm personally going chill. I love pajamas all day. Just so chill. Just yeah, like wearing your, like they're kids. I think pajamas is such a fun part of life.

is so relaxed and I want them to know they don't have to dress up for the world. I like the idea of pajamas. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. We are also, we are comfort dressers. I, like, I love comfort. We love comfort and like we do a lot of pajamas. We did a pajama

family run to the grocery store. Not, we didn't run to the grocery store. Everyone was in their collective pajamas. I believe that's on your Instagram. Sometimes, well, because Tate's usually in her jammies. So I told her one day I talked to her and I was like it would be fun if I also wore my jammies to you with you to the store so then we all went to the store in our pajamas that's me and Griffin literally got I just thought about this got bagels in our jammies this morning that's so sweet and Griffin thought it was so cool he's like in my jammies he kept saying that he's like in my jammies he's cute for them in the car in my jammies like it really stuck out to him let me say this though I think you are more of like an outfits person because if I leave them in their pajamas sometimes you'll be like why are they still in their pajamas like to the park but I think like for me I'm like it is an outfit you know like it's a It's not an outfit, actually.

It's the opposite of an outfit. It's jammies. My like joke business idea was pajamas that look like fancy outfits. That's bad. For babies. Oh, maybe not for babies. Little tuxed us. I want to like look like she's in a dress, but like she's in her pajamas.

Yeah. That's cute. I like it. I think where you cross the line in my mind, I'm like, if they're playing in it, I don't like that. Because they're going to be getting in their bed in that. You know what I mean? I also wash it. to wash their jammies after every time they wear them, which I feel like is a little

excessive. Why do I do that? I don't know. I go one to two times. Every single time I'm washing those. Really? Yeah, but they're also kind of, they get mangy. They get mangy quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can't play in the dirt because, like, she doesn't know how. Yeah. That would be different. Food. I'm like, there's probably a little pee in there somewhere. This one is a little bit spicier. Have you ever had trouble finding a doctor? Because I've been there. I wanted to get a diagnosis for ADHD. I wanted to know if I had it, but I didn't really know where to start. That is where I found ZocDoc. Zococ is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network

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So you can use ZocDoc for a range of different things that you want to be seen for. And appointments made through ZocDoc happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. And sometimes you can even score same day appointments. I use Zococ, and you should too. Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocococ.com slash unplanned to find an instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash unplanned. Zoc-D-C-com slash unplanned. What do we think about mommy makeovers?

Are they empowering or unrealistic? You know what? Gentlemen, go first. Okay. I don't know what a mommy makeover is. They're going to be... Like a boob job or a tummy tuck, just like some sort of plastic surgery after... No, I think of mommy makeover.

Isn't that a boob job and a tummy tuck? Both? I think it's either. Or I think it's like she had her mommy makeover, which could be like whatever she picked. I went first for the last one, Harrison, you're up. You're setting them. You know, I'm having to you. Like, to me, this is like far and away.

Like, I want to be this supportive partner in this. And so, like, it's the perfect definition of like, not my call. And so, like, what Alex wants to do, I support in that. I operate very much more of, like, a natural way of life, like through and through. but like whatever she wants to do I'm very supportive of like I don't have a view on that I love how carefully you chose your word I think I think she can do whatever she wants to do but it's like if I went to her and I was like I want to get a nose job like and she's like don't get a nose job I'd be like well it's not your nose okay what do you think Matt I think you said it perfectly

I was about to like make a joke and try to be like act like I was in a different ballpark as you know But I think you said it perfectly. Like whatever the mom was to do, they should be able to do. For me, I think it's so much fun to see Abby's body change over time. And so much fun to see how like after kids, she looks different. And it's like a good thing. Like I'm like obsessed with like we're not just like two teenagers anymore. Like we are grown adults and I'm married to like a woman who's had my children.

And I think it's just so cool. Like I embrace the change and I think she's more beautiful for it. Thanks, babe. I think that, wait, you go. What do you think about mommy makeup? I was really that was really sweet by the way Matt thanks I I feel like my opinions have like kind of neutralized more I think I used to be almost probably because of where I was raised you were raised in Oklahoma I was raised in Illinois like there's kind of like a shame culture

around plastic surgery or altering your body in any way I was like they're just like they resent the changes like it's such a beautiful thing to be a mom and I was like kind of like that's so wrong then I moved but then also became a mom myself and I understand it more now where it's like okay, I just did a very sacrificial thing with my body for our family where I don't now, I don't like demonize the women that choose to do something different because I think it would be unrealistic for me to sit here and say like, okay, I hate the way my body looks now. That's not true. But I can't also say like, do I miss some of the aspects that I had before my body? Do I even mourn some of the changes? Kind of. That doesn't mean that I regret being a mom or I

has anything to do with my children those are separate camps now for me and so it's like i love and embrace the things my body has done and the changes that is embraced but i'm also like it's not disrespecting that experience to want to do something different and so now i just have such a neutral stance where i'm like i very well may when we're done like with for sure done having kids may choose to do something but i also very well may not you know i like i hold it loosely now i hold it lightly yeah yeah yeah like it can be whatever yeah what would you say if one of your friends came to you and was like, okay, I'm done having kids and I really want to get a boob job. What do you think?

Like, heck, yeah, girl. Have fun with your new boobs. Totally. Yeah, that's how I think about it. Let me see them. Yeah. I'm always like, go on, queen. My answer is, I'm so forward if that's what you want.

And if that's not what you want, I'm down with it too. My only thing is for me personally, if I do it, I always say it has to be for me, not for anybody else. So I'm like, I love the changes of my body as well, post baby. And I know the more kids I have, the more changes there will be. I will probably want to do something. My boobs are like surviving the breastfeeding so far. A lot of people say like there's get really saggy.

I'm like okay so far. And so that's been nice. But like like a boob lift is probably like what I would do. I always thought that I would do. And as long as I do it like for me and because I want to, I'm like so down. Yeah. I think you can have both. Like you're allowed to have think feel multiple ways about the same topic.

Yeah. Like I love what our bodies are capable of and I love my body so much postpartum because I think what we went through is incredible. But I'm also like, yeah, if you want to do a little. change go do it either way you cannot change the fact that you your body has made children totally there will always be evidence of that no matter what you decide to do whether like so it's like it's not that i have scars i have stretch marks i got loose skin things are not what they used to be it's it's fine it's great i think it's great i do have a question though is it is it bad is it bad

to lie about your child's age to get them into a place for free what are you guys doing we certainly pay like what did i just do like really expensive i've spent 75 dollars for our like griffin just turned three just turned three less than a month ago we got a resort pass to go to this like resort on maui for the day because we weren't staying there just to use their pool and i'm in my brain i'm like we like a week ago he turned three so now it's an extra 75 bucks i'm like babe say he's too but she was like we're following the rules and i like that about you i like keep me in check babe yeah i'm like you well matt's like Abby, it's not like you're stealing anything from them.

I'm like, this isn't our house. This is their property that they allow us on for a price. So it is stealing. And so I, I don't know. Maybe it's a firstborn daughter, right? I'm like, follow the rules. But if you follow the rules, then you don't, then you eliminate having to make the decision.

Because I always think if one time you didn't pay because he was newly through, then you got to ask yourself the question next time where now it's like we have our guidelines. We're paying. Like, do you know what I mean? Like it eliminates the question mark of it. Also, if I were you guys and I was at that pool,

All day, I'd, like, somebody knows. They know he's three and we didn't pay. He also doesn't. He looks like, he certainly looks three. Like, it wasn't like, oh, he's a little small for his age. It's just the principle. It wouldn't have been a relaxing day for me. Yep, I'm entirely.

But would you fudge it? I know one of my friends just fudged it for Disneyland and she saved a lot of money. Nope, I can't. I cannot. I cannot. I would seriously be walking around like I stole something. Let me say this, though, like, I also want to recognize, like, I think you guys are doing well. I know, like, business has been good for us.

us. Like, I think it'd be a harder dilemma, too, if, like, if you're working, like, a minimum wage job and it's, like, $75, then you probably are like, oh, oh, you know? Like, I wouldn't blame someone. Like, if money's tight and you're like, you're going to, like, oh, yeah, I wouldn't judge them. That was my friend. She's a teacher. I was like, yes. Yeah. Your friend that's a teacher that, like, saved a grand by Sanker three-year-old was two at Disneyland. It's like, my lips are sealed, sister. Yeah. We got you. Hold on. I was answering this from the guys of us. Some of my favorite stories and movies are where they used to sneak like if you if money's tight but you're going to give this kid

an experience i think you should sneak him in all day long for sure i want to help you sneak him in or like see two movies with one movie to purchase love it love it i'm for it like go because it's experiences for these kids like yes for the children for the children i'm all i'm totally but like very important clarification but even like and i don't know why it is but like see like one time in college i did that where i saw two movies for the price of one but like in my head like technically i you know, cheated them theater out of like 10 bucks, but I could never like, even if it was like a quarter, like a little, you know, like an actual product and product from like a gas station. I could never do that.

Like I've never once stolen something in my life. I don't know why in my head like I rationalized, oh yeah, I'll see two movies. I already paid for one movie, but me actually stealing a physical thing, I would feel like the biggest criminal in the world, like taking a physical product from a store, you know? And walking out of the store with it. Yeah. That's a moment. I mean, that would be.

They're different. I don't know, like, even if I dared you guys right now. I was like, no, go to the circle, okay, take a Diet Coke and leave with it. Like, you probably couldn't do it. No. That's good, though, that we can't do that. But the movie thing, that was the. Right?

That was a moment. Genius. For a college student? Oh, yeah, we did that in high school some. But you're right, they're playing it anyways. Yeah, they're already playing it. It's not like, yeah. Just you, yeah, I get it.

I can see more, you can make more exceptions in your brain for that. Okay. Next one is, we are thinking about getting our boys a pet. And not just any pet, a cat, because at our friend's house a few weeks ago, we realized our boys are obsessed with them. I honestly have always pictured our family having a dog, but ever since seeing our kids interact with their cats and seeing the way that the cats were just so chill and seems like low maintenance, but like made such a fun vibe to the household. The kids love them. I was like, this might be the family pet for us. And I can tell you that if we do spring for the cat eventually, we definitely know which cat food brand we are going with.

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Again, that's smalls.com slash unplanned 50. No kids out of wedding. Acceptable or rude. Like if you get a wedding invitation, it's like no kids allowed. Totally acceptable, because it's your wedding. So you get to pick, right? What do you think? I feel like, I feel like, what are your thoughts on this?

I said it was both. Really? Depending on the wedding circumstances. So say you chose to do like a destination wedding and you know you're inviting people with kids. You're putting people in a hard position, right? Where they like, do they leave the kid at home and like leave them to go on the trip for the wedding? Or are they going to be able to pay for like someone to watch them or to fly someone to watch them? the location like x-minds say it's really not the bride and groom's job to think about every

guess like what that's going to mean for them to do things it's just a little bit inconsiderate why does my brain go to the whole idea of like no babies on airplanes when I think about this what do you mean you don't want babies on airplanes no like people will say that people that I've seen people comment that like I've made blogs about me you know doing a flight with our young kids people like oh baby should not be allowed on airplanes I'm like screw you yeah like and how are you supposed to okay wait so you're saying your paralleling people that don't want babies on planes to people that don't want babies at weddings. Oh, so you're...

I feel like you could almost put them in the same category, but I guess the wedding is a private event. Well, and it would be one thing if you had a private jet and you invited five couples on it and said, hey, please don't bring your kids because like, this one's my deal. Right? They're different because one's public. I think it's rude. Oh, sorry. No, go, go, go, go, go.

We're just processing. I think it's rude, but I think you could make like a no kids at the reception. So it's like that way everyone's welcome. their whole family, they can bring them. No, no, no, no, kids at the ceremony. But the ceremony, it's like, that's just formalities. I'm not confused. So people will say, like, no kids at the wedding.

But I, like, at the wedding, let's say there's a wedding in Maui. Yeah. And they're saying no kids at any of the events. Yeah. Or are they saying you can't even bring your kid to Maui? I don't think that they would say that. But they're like, you can bring them to any wedding event. But if there's, that I can get comfortable with.

Okay. I can get. Oh, you're over. Like, would I do that? I don't know. But, like, I can understand that people wouldn't want children at the two or three events. Or you can have non-kid events. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, because in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, bachelorette, bachelor party, that's no kids. You know, if you want to have a kid-free wedding reception where people can, you know, get a little tipsy if they want, you know, whatever, like, make it a fun adult atmosphere. Sure. But I think, like, in my brain, for some reason, saying. Like you can't bring your own child to it. Like what if it's like a new mom who has like a five month old baby like that that mom can't like

attend your wedding? Yeah, I don't know. But also I think it's a little inconsiderate because of wedding. We were raised also like wedding is for like everyone. Yeah. You know? And so then I'm like like that's just a little, that's excluding people that like can't leave their kids. You know?

Okay. So that I like to hear like the others. That I get. There's some drama here. I like this. Here's the thing. I would totally respect it. And I would not.

never ever say anything to them. But we have that different. I actually like the different. Because initially I'm like, of course no. Like I have been invited to so many weddings where it's like no kids. Really? Yeah. So many.

I've never been to one like that. Me neither. I cannot think of what I've been to with kids. Wait, what? Yeah, I think like that's why I'm kind of confused here. Yeah. I think like the base rate of weddings I've been to don't have kids. Who's the ring bears?

Wait, who are you? So, okay, there's like, there's family kids. at the ceremony, and then they're not at their reception. No, I didn't even know that was a thing. Yes, totally a thing. Seriously, I'm trying to think of a wedding in the past three years. So no kids are at the receptions at the weddings you're going to? No.

And it's on the invite. The invite says no kids. Oh, I can see it at the bottom right now. Like totally can see it. And it's very normal. Yeah, I didn't think twice when you said it. I was like, of course. I've never received an invite like that.

You know what it is? Maybe like the circles we were a part of especially being people that got married. young like we know a lot of people that have kids it's very common for people to bring their kids to whatever like and maybe like with you guys dinners and stuff getting together us getting together in our early 20s you guys in your early 30s it's just like a different crowd where that crowd is more like hey we don't do kids at weddings we're a little rowdy yeah i'm just like wait so hold on at receptions there's just like a two year old yeah lots of two year olds yeah and they hit the dance floor they go crazy yeah and teenagers yeah

I have seen, I'm now thinking about this, I've seen it where they're there for like 20 minutes and then they leave. Well, they usually get tired. Yeah. Yeah. They don't stay till the end. But like at our wedding,

there was a lot of kids. We had kids at our wedding. It was fun. They tore up the dance floor. They tore out of the dance floor. But they didn't stay till the end probably. Right. They'd leave at some point.

Well, actually, some of them stayed till the end. But like, at my cousin's wedding, my mom and all of her sisters were so happy that our kids were at the reception because they just took turns like holding Augie and like dancing with Griffin. So, like, that kind of gave. They were the ring bears, though. That gave us a break so we could actually hit the dance floor, you know? I would say, so wait, you would say overwhelmingly the majority of weddings you've been to have kids.

Every single one. There's never been a single one that I've been to with no kids. Okay, I'm the total opposite. That's right. I was like shocked. Wait a minute. Wait, I have a sneaking suspicion. Have you gone to a lot of weddings since being a parent?

Oh. Because you guys, yeah. Your baby radar wasn't on. One. Two? One. I thought of one in March. Me too.

I'm thinking of that one. No, there was no kids there. Is there a chance your baby radar wasn't on before? Potentially. Because now you notice babies a lot more once having kids. Maybe. You don't think so. Okay.

I really don't think so. For sure. No, and the two I was invited to pregnant, I remember there was no kids. Yeah, I don't, I think, I really think, you know. Keep your kids in check. Like, don't, like, let your, if your kids, I can see not taking littles into the ceremony. They're going to be loud. They're going to be loud.

toddlers loud or sitting in the back so the second they start to cry go out like whistler there was kids we've been to two 50 50 50 yeah okay okay interesting I think it's totally you're totally allowed to do it it's your wedding you're allowed to make the decisions I think it would rub me the wrong way a little bit to receive as a on the invite the fact that you guys have received invitations that said no kids like I I've never experienced that well I think that a lot of the ones I'll receive will just specifically reference who's invited which is fine too so like for example For example, we were just invited to a wedding, and Tate was not on the wedding invite. I promise you that's an adult-only wedding.

I would 100% assume that. So it didn't say no kids, but she wasn't invited, and it goes into a different question. Like, I've noticed when we're invited to events, it's very clear when the three of us are invited versus when Alex and I are invited. And so like I very much like just take it in stride as to whoever's hosting the event Totally sets the parameters on if they want kids there if they're not and we don't go to events Sometimes because like she's not invited yeah and that's just the trade off we need to make Yeah I see that no we definitely do a lot of things without our kids yeah like we'll go to like adult birthday parties

That's not even a question yeah but like if we needed to take them I'd like to know that we like could yeah You know what I mean I think it's different if you're like okay at the invite you can select you or her or it's like they don't need to include them there but you could just say like hey because of x y and z circumstance we can't actually get child care this is like i think you can explain that and they can make that decision i don't know the weddings we've gone to they've even included mr griffin howard mr august howard they put them on there i'm like mind-blown when i get a wedding invite i immediately think who who will watch her our daughter's never been invited to a wedding ever i'm even thinking how would i take her to a wedding i'm shocked well i i know i know i know

how much you would love. We didn't take that, though. That's the thing. They were honored, though. To get her dressed for a wedding. Me too. It would be great. I know we have not done that.

I hate to, I hate to jump to the next one. But you did mention something that made me think about this one. It's birthday party related. So over. They kind of touched on this one. We did, I guess a little bit.

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What are your thoughts on over-the-top birthday parties? I'm talking like bounce houses or like really nice food and just like decorations every, like almost like wedding-like planning for a one-year-old birthday party. Like what do you think about something like that? That's me. Wedding like planning is too much. I think we need to, like, be mindful and I think there's, like, an appropriate way you can do it. Now, one specific area that you did say is good food. That I'm all for because there's adults coming.

Like, when they turn one, you're also inviting everyone's parents. And I think the first birthday party is more for the parents anyway. So, like, good food, yes. Totally. But wedding, like, florals and things like that, no. Like, really? No. What do you have against it?

Well, I have nothing against it. I would love you to invite me to your birthday party where you did that. But for me, I just, I want to keep it fun for the kids, but not like, and there will be things that we do on Tate's birthday party that I feel like we'll be a little over the top, but not some of the like, I just be like there's a tasteful is not the right word because that insinuates that other things aren't. But like there's a, how do you, how do you say not appropriate? I just don't want to be too over the. Like wasteful. You don't want to be wasteful. Yes.

Yeah. Because I was definitely raised that way where if something was a little over the top, the sentiment might be like, okay, is it. This might feel wasteful. It was more with the money, though. Yeah, the money. But, like, now, I don't know. It's just, like, if you're ever invited to something that is over the top, my kind of opinion now is kind of like.

I love being a guest here. I love it. Like, enjoy the experience. You know, like, you're not the one paying for it. Oh, I want you to pop off. Right? Now, if, like, you, if you think they probably could have given some of that money to charity, okay, fair enough, you can do that with your party, but it's like, I guess, like, the

opinion I have now is, like, just enjoy it and recognize it's okay to, like, enjoy things in life. I have a caveat though if I'm going to be a devil's advocate I think it crosses a line in my mind when it's advertised it's a child's birthday party but you can tell that it was really

to prop up the parents' ego in a way or like to make them to flex on people whereas like you can tell when there's an over the top party that is child centered or an over the top party that's like this was for the photos

this was for the praise you know what I mean? Like you can go crazy and make it like the kit like every single kid there is like over the moon or you can just make it like a photo opportunity that yeah I don't know just to be the devil's advocate I think that's actually a good point I think that one of the things I've learned through parenting is like how different everyone's experience is both like from pregnancy through birth to the first four weeks eight weeks

12 weeks of the kid and so on and so forth like when a question like that is asked like I feel like I used to have like a really strong opinion on like, oh no, I think first birthdays are like ridiculous. But now like my perspective is like, I understand why people would want to make it massive and I understand why people would want to make it like, you know, really small and intimate with just the core immediate family. And so like when it comes to like answering the question, I understand both sides of like making it like a cake, candles, and singing the song. But I also like understand why parents

would actually want to go on the other end and celebrate like the first 12 months in a grand way. Because like these are, I can say for us probably the craziest 12 months that we've ever had. Like the highest of highs, some crazy lows. Like what Alex has gone through is just like been unbelievable. Like, I didn't know hormones existed 24 months ago. Existed. The physical toll. So, like, you know, I think...

That's what I say. It's for the parents sometimes. But it's why I'm playing devil's advocate to your devil's advocate. Okay, well, can I play devil's advocate to your devil's advocate? I'm good. I'm good with, like, parents, like, really leaning into it because that may just be reflective of their journey the same way not i want to hear the counter to the counter sorry please please please if i may i think the parents maybe need to find a different event to to celebrate that you know what i mean

like the kids party labeled with their name you know it's like we're looking at what we're doing for a child but we're actually like so let me ask yeah okay yeah so what about around the first birthday party having a we're one year's parents party that's great i like that's like something And I'm really warmed. I'm like, I love people. But are we just getting way too deep into this? And it's like, it's not that deep. Like, what, like, can it just be like, you just love your kid?

In the sense that that's the one where I'm kind of like, we've always done a really intimate first birthday party. And then we've done crazy two-year-old parties because then like, then they have friends. Then they know kind of what's going on. They have preferences on things a little bit more. And so we've never done a big first birthday. So I think it's ideal to do an intimate first birthday party. And then we are one year as well.

parent or something like that i don't know i just do that i want to do it i'm like why don't we throw a one year's parents party that that fits every criteria in my mind yeah i'm like that would be really fun and then you can invite people we'll be there thank you we have two guests what if what if the parent's intent doesn't matter though like what if the parent went all like way overboard with it like it's a crazy spectacle party and i think you know i've definitely fall i've done this before where if i'm at a party and they like run out of food and it's like soon super like crazy low budget i'm like i'm like a little annoyed like i'm like really hungry but there's no food and then it's happened a lot yeah it or in the same cynical boat i'm just hungry

if you're at a really over the top party you're like oh they totally are just like trying to flex on everybody it's like i've actually never felt that let me tell you that don't go looking into any birthday party i've ever been to i've never felt that yeah i'm just saying sometimes when i've not been at an event and i've only seen images of i'm like this seems a little bit sketch it's not been to i'm not going to say this is not with nobody online so don't try to go through videos and try to be like who's birthday party was it you're not going to figure it out okay let's just say there is a person in the past that we were at a party and i was like oh they're totally trying to flex on everyone here i don't think it effing matters like at the end of the

day being at a party whether they didn't really put the most effort for it or they did crazy effort i think like just to be able to enjoy the party for what it is is what you need to do as the attendee now i'm getting way too deep into this now i'm like no one is that's kind of like the point that I was trying to make, which is like, and yes, we're getting deep about birthday, but it's like appreciating the different journey that each parent and family has gone through over the first 12 months. And like, we were at one not too long ago where like they kind of forgot the food. And like rather than judge, it's like I really got it. Like I get how there could have been a big food mishap because like we're seeing how hard it is with

one kid. They have more than one kid. And so it's like, yeah, it's with these things like making the decision for ourselves and saying, you know what, we want to do it this way. I think for the first one we'll probably do it pretty big, but recognizing, hey, for the people that don't want to do it big, whether that's personal, financial, whatever, like totally appreciating and respecting their decision without judgment. Okay. Is no screen time before too realistic? So apparently that's like what the pediatric association of whatever says. No screen time before there, too. Okay, did you guys do that?

I want to ask you. Quit turning this on us. I want to know what you guys did. Well, we're 10 months in. Have you ever let her look at a screen? She's had no screen time yet. What? But I cannot answer from here.

See, I'm a bad dad then. No, that's not it at all. It's just, it's where, listen, it could change like tonight on the next flight. Like, I don't know, but so far, no, she hasn't. So I don't know about two, though. I have no idea. Frick, you guys are so... It's not like we gave Augie a scream before he would...

No, no, but it's like, wait, that's impressive. That's good for you guys. Thanks, we're proud of that one. Wait, your baby's 10 months? Yeah. That's dope. That's really impressive. That's impressive.

I think the area that has become sticky was that, like, we did that for Griffin probably. I don't even remember. Actually, no, I think he had a screen before he was 10 months. Like on the TV sometimes when we were doing something? I don't know. I think it was like Miss Rachel teaching him words. But like, when you were, you... have two then there's the older one wants to watch something and then surely all you had early screen time

oh i'm i would like what one thing i get all day long is screen time okay but here's the real hot take that actually is in here ipads at restaurants what are your stances on these well i just i don't know because she just now can't crawl and stand so it's like i can't even begin to say what i would do if we're at a restaurant she's trying to run around like what do you guys do yeah no we so as a now we yeah have a three year old that was a hard line the sand we drew never done that because you don't want them to just sit there

you want them to engage with you at dinner meal times are really important as a family I feel like okay yeah we've kind of I think my hard thing too is I don't like the idea that iPads can travel with them whereas like there's something different of us like at home watching a movie on the TV as a family where it's like a shared experience

whereas like an iPad is very individual like they're choosing whatever they want to watch by themselves that feels very different to me especially when we're out and about in public there should be plenty of things that should be entertaining to them and so how are they when you go out to dinner i mean they're chaos sometimes sometimes they go and like play with the rock garden and like throw rocks around and like we don't go to places that they're going to have a horrible time okay so you guys are good about that you're not going to go to we'll sit outside a lot because they can get out of their chair and they can like see nature touch grass if they need to and we'll take walks with them if they need to before the food gets there but once the food's there they should be in their seat and they sit and they eat it's not picture perfect there's no chaos but yeah we haven't crossed that yet and that's something i actually really want to stick to i'm not judging other parents like when that's happening obviously i should say that like that we go out all the time there's people like with their kid on an ipad like maybe this is they can't get a sitter and this is a chance for them to connect

and like have a little date yeah like who knows what's going on other people's life that's something that hasn't had to be a reality for us so the nice thing though i feel like we can keep that with like the screens like sometimes uh our youngest will have just like a downpour of like emotion to where it's like it's like the only thing that we can do it's like he flips a switch he flips a switch you know what yeah so it's like having miss rachel brings him down to earth to be able to take him then we can take it away and be like hey do you feel better like can we talk about it like we can kind of like because he's not hearing us at that point he's like in a different planet see that's what i don't understand like yeah it's

like the terrible twos phase you know it's like tantrums right we can't control we love his energy but sometimes they can have a negative side too so you'll you'll miss rachel can calm him down though when he's in that let me set the scene for you I would never like the idea of our kids using an iPad or a phone

when we're in Disney World like in their stroller that's someone I'm like no no no like we were at the beach in Hawaii I was like I would never ever think to give him a screen you're at the beach this is your playground there's so much to do in play but he literally did that thing where I'm gonna call it just flip a switch. I feel like a lot of you toddler parents probably know. And so I was like trying every

kind of distraction, get the sand toys, do every other snack holding him. Nothing was working. When I had exhausted everything at my ready, I was like, I'm going to turn on a Miss Rachel's song. And I feel like just him listening to that kind of like slowed him down a little bit. He had to be quiet so he could hear it. That calmed him down. And then, I mean, it was like a matter of minutes before then I took it. And then we could finally like level. Yeah. So I was like, that was like I kind of broke my own rule there but that kind of works I don't know that's the whole thing bridge the gap that's the thing people say like this is what works like on a plane and stuff like you have to give them that unlimited screen time on a plane so everyone says I have no rules I have no rules on the

plane yeah and we're just like not I don't not there yet but I'm starting to notice stages above us like we'll go to dinner and I'll see kids on their iPads and things and one thing I did read was like having it set on a TV takes the way the control like you were saying like if they have it on the iPad and they can carry it around and they realize screen time is possible anywhere as opposed to it's on TV. That's why it's like can't mobile DVD player just for our car. Yeah. Like so that it can't leave the car or something like that. But I like that we don't do screen time in the car though.

We don't do that either also. It's nice that they have like it's so cute. They'll be in the backseat just reading books. It's cute. They just have books and toys back there and they'll share the toy. They'll like trade books with each other. It's awesome. Or let's just look at the window.

Like don't you remember being a kid just like staring out the window? Yes. There's so much to see. Some kids never do that anymore. more. Yeah. It's a lot to think about these screen. Like we talk about like automated cars like screen time. We talk about all these things and just like what the future holds because we're navigating such a different landscape than our parents did. It's crazy. I'll probably eat my own words. Probably in a matter of weeks, honestly. But that's where we are now. Well, that's what I'm saying. I can't even say anything because I literally could get on the plane tonight and be like the only thing that will calm her down is me showing her like the, I don't know. Is it ever okay to spank? What do you guys think? Have you ever talked about this between? Uh-huh. you have talked about it. Oh, okay. We, so I took a poll. I have like a mom chat on my Instagram. Okay. And I asked them who spanks and correct me. 60% said no, 20% said, and the other 20% said I'm just here for the results. It's like a third of

people said that they would spank. And that was shocking to us because we kind of thought that people weren't spanking anymore. Yeah. And so we were like investigating the landscape. I think that what we collectively have decided is like spanking is just not going to be for us. Like I, it was one thing that, I was like, I could see why, and then I look at her and I'm like, couldn't, nope, what about you guys? No, that's, okay, first of all, I wanted to say that's so interesting because I'm surprised a third said that, actually.

I'm not, though, because if you talk to people, like, on an individual level, I feel They wouldn't say it, but they didn't know. Like with the friend, they might be more willing to share something like that that might be more on the controversial side. Would you care if I asked if you guys were to make as kids? So I wanted to say that I was. Okay, you don't remember it. But then I tried to think of a specific time that I was spanked, and I cannot remember one.

The only thing I can remember is one time, I don't even know if the soap went in my mouth or if they just told me you're going to get your mouth washed out with soap. But I don't remember actually. So maybe they stopped when you were really young. Yeah, like I don't remember actually being spanked. Do you remember if you were? No. And I just feel like what I looked at what worked the best is when things were explained to me.

Yeah. And so, I know that's like easier said been done. But like I look at growing up, like that was. always what was most effective versus like being told I needed to do something but not why I needed to do something had to do and so the plan would be to take that general style into into parenting but once again like once you're in the thick of it and then the mud like how does that all play out who knows I don't think we have any intention on spanking and I think the at least probably the driver of that for me is and I'd probably assume you'd agree with this that like when you look at the associated potential

negative effects of spanking it's just not worth it yeah so that isn't like a risk that we're interested in or such an intellectual response no i follow the negative effects of spanking i like that you like you've really thought about this though like i i respect that the tricky thing is i don't like i want to speak for like i know that this is one that we're both on the same page but i also don't want to overspeak for both of us yeah no no we're we're not going to spank and and i think that would be the answer and then always with the caveat of like you never know what could do i don't know what could possibly i we're not going to spank but we did we're always like reading into and talking a lot about the effects that things have on the kids right and i just think like back in the day our parents

used to get like licks at school right with like the wooden paddle and it's like we're so far past that now because i think they saw that it makes them feel not safe in their environment sometimes and so it's just yeah no no no spanking what what does your guys take on it I'm pretty staunchly against it. We're against it as well. I was spanked as a kid, so I'm like, I feel like I can speak for all those people that are like, oh, well, discipline is not supposed to be fun or X, Y, Z. I don't think it's good to fear your parent.

I don't think that's ever a good experience and it never leads to good things. Like, if you have a healthy relationship with your parent, you want to meet their expectations, but you don't fear them. And I feel like spanking and hitting that causes a fear response. Totally. And I still have a great relationship with my parents this day. will say that, but I could have done without that one.

Yeah. I wasn't spanked, so yeah, I don't have an experience, but yeah, I'm with Abby on that. I want my kids always come with me, especially if they make a mistake. I want them to feel like this is our practice ground to make mistakes, and there will be consequences. Consequences are a big word in our household.

There are consequences for your actions. But the way we think... But the consequence will never be me hurting you. Right. Like, that doesn't make sense. How backwards is that Abby always gives this point about if one of our kids hits one of our other kids... That's a no-no.

There's consequences. to discipline our kid we then hit them like it's just so backwards right right oh you hit your brother now I'm gonna hit you like what I've never actually thought about that that's a big problem that we are facing hitting yeah but then I hate you because you hit your brother and when I do it's okay the consequence that that isn't okay but teach it in a way where they one learn but then two aren't fearful of you totally and I think that is it's kind of hard to know like like how much can they understand? But I feel like when it comes to spanking too,

it's like if they can, if they're old enough or like mature enough to understand your expectations, then they're mature enough to understand verbal punishments or not, you know what I mean? Like the verbal like why this was wrong and this is what you should do differently and this is what you need to do now. Whereas like if they're,

if you're hitting because they don't understand that conversation yet, then they never knew the expectations in the first place. I didn't explain that very well. I actually really got that and it resonated. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Therefore, there would never be a single circumstance in my mind where that would be the necessary thing. Because I think that people use the argument as like, they need to know that it's wrong. And so this is how I'm teaching them that.

I like your point. You're just saying no matter what happened, if they're old enough to understand and they're old enough to hear you tell them that it was wrong. Yeah, and explain why it's wrong. It makes total sense. Yeah. Yeah, I'm with that. I have a strong opinion on that one. And it's like, I can, I know people that spank and I still respect them as parents.

I would never choose to do that And I don't think that that's right I want to normalize like asking my friends These types of questions Oh my friend yeah we all talk about this stuff Yeah I like that a lot I mean I think that we do for the most part Yeah but this is just one like

We're not there Yeah well she's a baby We just haven't had those like intimate conversations around yeah I feel like they change totally once they get to like Two and a half And would you ask your friends like Hey how are you guys thinking about this

Or would you say like This is what we're doing what do you do Or do you go to them, like, how do you guys handle your friendships? Like, do you have people that have kids older than you that you go to and you say, what did you do here? I think a lot of our friends have kids that are similar ages as our kids. I have a friend that has a kid that's a little bit older and I always am like, okay, if I'm like kind of confused, I'm like, how did you tackle this?

Like, we're coming up on potty training. Like, and then she's like, oh, I did this course. And I was like, oh, that's awesome. For me, courses, I'm probably not going to sit and watch that whole thing. And so I just kind of went with my gut and it works. So we're just like, we're pretty different people, but I still like, I'm like, okay well what's the gist of it i mean try to apply that and i'm like okay he still tinkles sometimes and then catches himself just like oh yeah he did that for like my son did that for like six months

and then it just stopped one day and i was like great and she's like oh i did this thing with chocolate chips to kind of prevent that so i'm like we get like little feedback things there it's like you take what works for you and leave the rest yeah that makes sense and we are very aware that we're different types of parents and like we respect each other yeah so sleep training is it loving or is it cruel? We started out sleep training. We did the 5, 10, 15 method. What's that? Where basically you put them down and then you let them cry for five minutes. You go in, you rub their belly. They stay in the crib, you rub their belly, you tell them that you're there, you leave, you do 10 minutes. Okay. So he took the lead on this and we did the 5, 10, 15 method. And then what

happened was at nine months, we had a sleep regression right before she crawled and stood. And something changed in my heart where I would look on the, I would look at the nana and I would see her in there doing what I call the Eeyore. So she'd be sitting up like this slumped over crying. My heart couldn't take it. I go get her every time now. One of us does and we pick her up and we don't sleep train anymore. So we did.

And so we did an episode on how we actually flip-flopped and how like kind of normalizing like saying you're going to sleep train and this is how you're sleep training. And then saying, yo, like I totally, that doesn't feel right to me anymore. So now I'm going to do this. So we kind of have a similar story. I would say I'm a fan of sleep training because I think it's like. It worked really, really, really well for our second child. Love it. In fact, we never had to sleep training because we did the, like, the principles.

I started him so early because I knew kind of how it worked with Griffin. I basically like- That kid just goes to sleep. He just lights out. All night, never wakes up in the night, never does anything, since he was six weeks old. But what it is is like when you put him down, you like put him down and walk away and he knows then it's like the signal in his brain is like, oh, it's time to sleep, lights out. but with our with our oldest recently this year we were having so many sleep issues that we started

we tried to sleep train him we started to re sleep train him it felt so wrong it was bad i don't explain it it just i knew that it wasn't helping anything and i also just felt so it felt so wrong at that time every kid is so different and this is how i'm telling you like we have a kid that we sleep trained and it was amazing we have a kid that we just sleep trained but it stopped working and then he also, like, I could never redo it again. Here's the thing, though. And then we started sleeping with him. Okay.

And now, and that was honestly, in that time, I will tell you, I wouldn't have wanted to sleep with a baby. I think I would have been way too anxious about that. Whether or not there's a safe way to do it, like, I would have just been too anxious with sleeping with a baby. Because I'm also with a baby, I'm like, they're going to wake up. I have so much anxiety around it. Sleeping with our toddler, there was a learning curve because he didn't even know how

to sleep in a bed at this point because he was used to his crib. He's like going horizontal. He's backwards. He's like, he thought it was cool that we were in there. he would just randomly like touch us in the night and talk to us there was a learning curve and then it became such a sweet bonding thing for each of us to sleep with him yeah and then guess what naturally we just pulled back a little bit now he sleeps by himself again and so i'm telling you well him and his brother are sleeping now that we have two kids i feel like the more kids we have

the more we're just going to go with their flow the kids have a flow the flows are different for the kids the flows are different wait what age did you start doing the co-sleeping uh he He was like... Like two and three quarters? Two and three quarters to... We slept with him for like five months. Oh, that was probably like a really... So Harrison always says...

Is I like exaggerated? No, probably like three months. Three months. So co-sleeping is the one thing that we like wish we could do. But I'm like, you know, too nervous. And some people say it works great for them, which is awesome. But like, I can't sleep when she's in there. Neither of us can.

Oh, yeah. A 10-month-old is... It's so different than a two... So different. Than a nearly three-year-old. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's cool, though, at that point because it's something that we would like love to do.

He, like, it was really, really, like, special for him and for us. And we were very hesitant because we thought we'd never get our bed. We weren't like you. We didn't want to do it. We'd never get our bed back. We wanted to just be our bed to be us. We have our bed back, which is awesome. But then also there's a little part of us as like, well, he's not in here.

Yeah, because it's a fine amount of time. Like, they're not going to sleep in there forever. So it's sweet. I'd love for, like, our whole room to just be one giant bed. Did we know so many people that do that. Have like, literally, because we don't have like four or five kids. Like, just have the whole, like, army of children coming in there's so many people that do that eastern culture thing like a lot of

people are friends in Hawaii every single family in Maui sleeps in one room they all sleep together in the same bed how big are the beds they have like two kings it's so good it's so like family bonding it's kind of cool now the only thing is like do it if you guys both want to do it they still find time from mommy daddy time but it's like I think it's a lot harder so that is one thing but even when Griffin was sleeping with us we would just like luckily for us we could make that Put him to sleep. He would fall asleep by himself and then we would just join him. Oh, he would fall asleep by. Oh, because you wouldn't be in bed yet. Yeah, we're like, we're not going to bed at seven. Yeah. Yeah.

And he knew that we were coming. He, like, believed us. I think that is so, and they feel safe. Yeah, he's like, you're going to come in. He's like, you're going to come in my bed soon. And we're like, yes. Yeah, we're going to come in here and we're going to sleep. And then everybody slept good. It was fine. I mean, it wasn't the best sleep of my life. We've got to be honest with ourselves. But it got better. And, like, at first I was just like, there is a wild dog in our bed because he just moved so much he wasn't used to having a

whole bed too he was used to a crib so I love it and he honestly he is such a sensitive kid it was the I can say it was the right move at that time he knew so much at that time he could articulate so much so he would even those couple those times we were like trying to follow the programs that were supposed to be loving and I think they are loving programs like I do I don't think that they're like these evil things but like it turned into being a really bad thing for him he would be like why did you he'll like ask me he'll be like what that one night why did you do that and i'm like he like remembers he like wow that's like that that's what i'm excited about though but as a baby they're like they don't they don't know they don't know and honestly it worked

really great for okey's an amazing sleeper he just throw that kid in the bed and he's just like lights out all night yeah you to follow your instinct though like with her right now my instincts as like she needs to be picked up so when i look at the monitor and she's up i'm like i got to go get her and I'm like good with it. I know, I'm still new to parenthood, so new. But I feel more, the longer that we have been parents, the more I feel comfortable following my instinct. Yeah, it's like the right thing for that kid.

And it's like, that's crazy to say. But then when you do it, you're like, that was good. Yeah, we're like, they're different people. So obviously we're going to do things differently. Yeah. And to think, too, that all these modern technologies that we rely on, like baby monitors, they didn't exist, you know, 50 years ago, 100 years ago.

So people have been parents for a very long time and very successful with raising their kids. without the modern technology. Now, I'm sure we make the quality of life better with some of these, like, technological advances and things. But it's like, at the end of the day, if, like, something goes wrong one day, it's like, they're going to be fine.

They're going to be just okay. They're durable. Yeah. And I think to build off that, like, when we look at, you know, successful people today and happy people today, like, I'm sure we can trace a lot of different paths around sleep and sleep training,

or lack thereof that this isn't the cornerstone that they went through and that's why like when i hear the world hear the word cruel which was i think the initial question it makes me like oh like feels feels extreme yeah for us or for our first child no um we we aren't sleep training but like a process that inherently works for a lot of people and i always say people that do sleep train, they're sleeping better than we are. Like, I probably have two hours last night, you know, and it's just like, but that's okay. Wait, how much did you sleep last night?

Probably two hours, but she's just, she's doing a little bit of regression and we're walking, we're crawling, we're clapping, like it's all new right now. And she's dialed in with like the motherly instinct where like the peep, like the first time you hear the peep, she's just like up and she's like, did you hear that? I'm like, no. No, I think that was like a bird.

They're quiet. You're crazy. And I'm like, Abby would go in and like literally wake our kid up because she would be so worried. And I'm like, if you would have just waited like literally five seconds, they would have been like, ah, back of sleep. Oh, my mommy's here. Don't worry.

I'm like, just give them. The baby's like I wasn't worried. Our daughter has the sixth sense in knowing that Alex is coming. She's just like. Sitting on the crib. Turn on the nan. I can also say. She holds the bars like.

I was a sensitive sleeper so I feel for them. I slept with my parents for so long. Then I brought a pillow. on the floor of their room for so long. Then I slept with my brother, basically, until I had roommates. And then I, like, I literally, I could just, I'm not someone that can sleep alone. We're supposed to sleep with people, I think, is what they say. I know, it's too sad and scary to be alone at night.

You're not supposed to sleep alone. And so I think it's cute that you did that. Yeah, I was like, Matt, you don't understand the empathy I have for him. But he is me. Yeah, and you're like, that's why. That is my child. One last question for you guys. This one's kind of a fun one.

Are you going to let your daughter swear? Kids swearing, what do you think? Amazing question. Growing up in Oklahoma, we, I remember being at Target and one of my friends' moms said, okay, you each get one swear word for the next 24 hours and you can use it in however you want. And I remember I chose crap. And so, and that has nothing to do with growing up in Oklahoma. Sorry, I shouldn't have like married the two.

I was just thinking back to it. I never used swear words around my parents or my friend's parents. and I think you're going to have a completely different experience. Well, that doesn't answer the question. Well, we haven't talked about it. I'm inclined to say I will let her swear. I think. Oh.

What do you think? So I grew up in the most informal environment in terms of like in Western Canada, the kind of relationship between kids and parents is very, very, very casual, like nicknames with parents and a lot of fun. As it comes to things today, I notice that you all don't seem to swear. On the podcast, yeah. Well, in just general, I guess. When we weren't recording, like, there was two times when I thought you were going to say a swear

word and you didn't. He said Frick or F? Frick or and what, like, one other. And I was like, that's, that's awesome. That's awesome. It's different than us. And I swear, I don't think I swear an outsized amount, but I definitely swear. Not an outsized amount.

We don't use it loosely. I, and I, it's one of those behaviors that when I, you know, you know, see a great example like that, it's like, well, why do we even swear? And is that not something we should be reducing? And so I don't envision we're going to have a hard and fast rule on it, but I think what we'll hopefully do is just like lead by example. And you're much better at it than I am. But like, I think if they don't see us doing it and they see it only used in pretty extreme ways than or during pretty big moments that hopefully they do the same like I think there's probably a lot bigger fish to fry in terms of like areas where we're going to want to really push

something so I don't think like crazy hard line but I think as little of it as possible is like great but it starts from the front and that's probably me well it is me more than more than you and I saw the great example that y'all were setting. Oh, that's so nice. Well, here's the thing, though, about, like, why I find it so interesting you saying that you grew up where people would just, like, swore all the time, even kids. Like, I was almost conditioned as a child to believe that if you grow up in that environment, you're going to turn out to be, like, some horrible person. I can see that you're, like, a genuine person. And so it kind of, like, flips that on my, on the head of why, what's the big deal if a kid swears every now and again?

Like, is it really going to change their future? What's your take on this app? Because I feel like you have a bigger opinion than I do. Oh, yeah. I grew up in a house where I never heard my parents swear really. ever and I don't know I just think about their like sweet little voices them say I'm like I only want you to say pleasant things like I think uh that was something I would uh there would be consequences for probably yeah I think like you said bigger fresh to fry how you treat people and like what like

if your intention is to degrade someone I have a bigger problem with like you wanting to bring someone down than the actual word you said and so I'm thinking about like intentions behind that but yeah I would not let my kids that's where i'm at like i would rather if my kid is a good person and they're they're kind to people and and in doing generous things like if they're going to swear a little bit it's crazy though even the slightest thing sounds vulgar coming out of their sweet little voices so even griffin and oggy like they hear us say um oh shoot can't them saying oh shoot as crazy and like hyper crazy this makes me sound even them saying oh shoot sounds kind of bad.

So now I'm like, oh, my goodness. Like, I say that now because even I'm saying, oh, shoot, sounds kind of vulgar. But there's a big difference between like a 15-year-old swearing and a seven-year-old saying, I can also get behind that. If our high school are swearing, I'm going to be like, okay, as long as you're a good person and you're not like saying F you to people. Yeah.

Okay. But if it's our seven-year-old, like, they're going to have consequences. If our seven-year-old is cursing, you know. Can't be doing that. Totally. Where I can appreciate a nice swear word is when it, when you're telling you're telling a story and it's not you're not saying it like calling someone someone you're not mad there's no anger at the tone but you use it to just like embellish a story that's where i always think like

that was a nice use of one right when somebody uses it out of anger or out of spite or out of mad yeah that's where i really i'm just like they don't they lose their luster yeah i guess comedy is a great use of a swear word comedy when comedians use it i always laugh like a little harder If they, like, put a spin on there the right way. But, yeah, whenever I think about it being used in just, like, a F off or something like that, I'm like, oh, that's so ugly. It's, it didn't do it for me, yeah. That's good. I don't know.

I don't know. I think that the world's going to swear. So if she does it some when she's older, I won't lose my mind over it. Yeah. Hey, I love, I think that was a good one to end on because, like, we had some disagreements there, but I liked it. We all still like each other. Oh, my gosh, man.

And, like, what a, what a fun conversation. Let us know the comments what your thoughts are on Swear. words with kids. Well, you guys, Alex and Harrison, thank you again for being on the show. This was a blast. Thank you for having us, you guys. We really enjoyed being here. Definitely go check out their show, two parents and a podcast. You guys are very funny. It's very fun to listen to you, banter, chat. You guys are like, yeah, great at that. Some cussing. Keep it up. A little bit of cursing. A little bit of that there. So, no, I'm just kidding. Yes. We were also on their podcast, and by the time this comes out, it will already be out there. So if you haven't heard it, go check it out.