The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Sisters-In-Law Play Agree to Disagree *Pregnancy & Postpartum Edition*

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

This episode is sponsored by Square, Wayfair, and Upwork. Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/unplanned ! #squarepod Wayfair: Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget at https://wayfair.com. Upwork: Visit https://upwork.com to post your job for free and connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. In this Agree to Disagree: Pregnancy Edition, the sisters-in-law are BACK! Abby, Abigail, and Addy dive into pregnancy symptoms, hormones, cravings, breastfeeding, birth plans, and everything no one prepares you for — sharing honest takes, personal experiences, and unfiltered opinions. Abigail's IG: @abigailghoward Addy's IG: @addybiswell Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify / Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Chapters: 06;14 - If men had to give birth, humanity would end 08;41 - Pregnancy brain is just an excuse 10;58 - I have cried over food while pregnant 13;01 - Ad break Square 14;20 - Babies know when you're about to get freaky 15;05 - The first trimester is the hardest 17;19 - Working out during pregnancy makes things easier 17;55 - Pregnancy is harder mentally than physically 20;06 - No one prepares you for how hard postpartum is 24;12 - Ad break Upwork 25;25 - Screentime is necessary for surviving the third trimester 27;01 - You should find out the gender as soon as possible 34;30 - Announcing pregnancy early is a mistake 37;38 - Gender reveals should be cancelled 38;38 - Breastfeeding is way harder than people admit 43;19 - Ad break Wayfair 44;46 - It's okay to still be breastfeeding a 4 year old 46;45 - Mom guilt never goes away 48;25 - Moms deserve a push present every time 50;38 - Toddlers can sense weakness and will absolutely exploit it 53;06 - I have hidden in the bathroom to get a moment of peace 56;00 - Gentle parenting doesn't work 58;44 - Every parent compares their kids to other kids 1;00;13 - Having kids makes marriage harder 1;01;43 - Pregnancy hormones have started arguments 1;04;09 - It's normal for your spouse to feel like a roomate 1;05;57 - During the baby years, your relationship is 2nd 1;07;28 - Checking your partner's location is totally normal 1;07;58 - Apologizing first doesn't always mean you're wrong 1;09;13 - Marriage advice from single friends isn't helpful 1;10;54 - Romance has to be scheduled after kids 1;12;55 - Protecting your marriage means setting boundaries with family 1;13;19 - Being a parent makes you more anxious 1;14;45 - you don't understand your partner until they're a parent 1;14;56 - I sometimes feel like the default parent 1;15;49 - You do become your own mother 1;16;45 - Traveling with kids isn't worth the chaos 1;17;22 - Using cloth diapers won't save the environment 1;18;34 - I wear the pants in my household 1;20;11 - I know the code to my husband's phone 1;20;26 - Having kids made me lose a part of myself 1;23;41 - I miss my pre-pregnancy body 1;24;52 - Sex feels different after birth 1;25;10 - I am the fun parent #unplannedpodcast #mattandabby Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If men had to give birth, humanity would end. The one, two, three. Disagree. I agree. Well, they don't have the hormones to make you want to do it again. I think they'd have less children. Do you think they would really be willing to sacrifice their careers? It's okay to still be breastfeeding a four-year-old.

Using cloth diversers won't save the environment. Pregnancy brain is just an excuse. Sorry, say the question again. Pregnancy, see, you have it right now. Pregnancy hormones have started at least one unnecessary argument. Oh, heck, yeah. Disagree, y'all. What?

It was his fault. What's up, dude? Welcome back to the unplanned podcast. This episode is a little different. We are having the sister-in-law takeover episode. I have my sister-in-laws with me. I have Abby and Addie. You guys can introduce yourselves.

Hi, I'm Abby. And I'm Addie. Okay, wow, that was so simple and amazing. Abby is married to Matt's brother. Caleb. Caleb and Addy is married to my brother that you guys have probably never seen but his name is Blake. Mysterious Blake. Mysterious Blake.

We are going to have a really fun episode planned but the last time we did this, we done this a couple times, but we had a very positive response. Yeah. So much so that we started our own podcast. Wow. We film always here every week. It goes live Friday mornings and we just, I truly look forward to recording always here and I'm planned for you guys. of course but always here is very special having it be like an all girls podcast and like the community there feels so just it feels so genuine and deep and um really special a lot of moms

lot of newlyweds and just girl talk and it's really fun and so if you haven't tuned in to always here definitely hop over after this episode because if you like this episode you'll probably like always here always here is just a fun cozy girly part of the internet we have lots of fun segments that are recurring every single week. We even take voicemails from you guys are listeners, which is really special and a great way to connect with you guys. We also have an element where we share a recipe every week. We share the hope and the hard. With heart and humor. Just basically like the highs and lows of life and. Wow, that's crazy. We have a wow, that's crazy element where we talk about something maybe

more specific relevant to pop culture or what's going on at the time. and it's just a very pro-woman podcast. Totally. That you might not know about. I know what I mentioned it in the podcast. Do you know what the show called Age of Attraction is? No. Would you like a brief overview?

Is it age? Let me guess. Age gap dating. Yes. They don't know how old they are when they're dating. Okay. And then it's kind of like love is blind. You know, like they date in the pods or whatever.

This isn't in pods. They just don't know. And then they reveal their age once they've decided who they're going to be Okay, that's really interesting. The age gaps are huge. I watched the first episode I kind of liked it. Okay, I haven't watched it yet. I've just seen the clips on the internet.

It's from 22 to 60 is the gap. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they have people of all ages in between there. So they can't necessarily call the guy creepy if he likes the young girl because he doesn't even know that she's young. He's just falling in love with her. Yeah.

She's a girl, she's 22. A lot of the younger ones don't realize how old, the older ones is. Well, when I was 22, I had no precipice for how old people were. Like, I had no, I was not on the pulse at all. I'm like, they could be 25 or 45. They all look the same to me. One of the age gaps relationships, it's an older woman with a younger guy. That's what I was going to say would never work.

And she has children that are two years older than him. That's a way to ruin your relationship. Well, she was freaked out about it. Yeah. Yeah, she was freaked out. I don't know how they resolved that if they're still together. I think the last couple episodes come out this week or something like that. And so then we'll know how everything ended.

Yeah. I'm excited to watch it. I think I'm going to watch it. I think I'm going to tune in. I think you guys are going to have to keep me updated on that one. So that's a little while that's crazy. That is crazy, you guys. What a great example.

What a little taste of what this is. And we would surely be honored if you hop over. And if you're here from always here, what's up? Thanks for being here. Yeah. This should be a really fun episode. We are playing just a big game of agree to disagree, sister-in-law edition, of course. We just announced that we're expecting baby number four.

So a lot of these are going to have to do with. pregnancy and motherhood and they're both moms as well. Yeah. One baby, two babies. And we're all kind of in like somewhat different stages. Yeah. And so it's interesting to see like how our opinions have formed and changed over the years. I know we talked about this before, but I know I've been a hypocrite in so many ways. Most of them are related to parenthood. Like nothing has revealed my own hypocrisy more than motherhood. No, literally. I'm like, oh, I'm actually a horrible person. But thanks for, thanks for putting that out to me. son. You're like, oh, I did say this. I am doing the complete opposite. Exactly. Exactly.

Do as I say, not as I do. I know. What I'm trying to do as I say, too. Yeah. It's been, I'm like parenting myself. I feel like. So many times. Yeah. I'm like, you know what? Adults have, everyone has consequences. Everyone has consequences. I actually need consequences. I like so much. I'm so good. I'm actually very excited for this game. I've never played agree to disagree. Oh, you haven't. No. I feel like I'm. I feel like I'm. I feel like. Abby, you could, I feel like your opinions might surprise me. I feel like the most. Really?

Yeah. Why? Sometimes I don't know where you're going to swing. I mean, either, honestly. I have no idea. Honestly, change every day. I feel like I don't give my opinion often. So this would be interesting to me.

I feel like Adi is very predictable in certain ways. Good. I hope that. You're steady. Okay, good. And you're studying a different way. Thank you. Do you try to back.

You're crazy. You're not crazy. But I just, and I feel like whenever you give your explanation, it makes so much more sense to me. But sometimes your knee jerk surprises me. Sure. I think that's why it's fun being friends with you, okay? And I love hearing your perspective.

I'm interesting for you guys. I'm just steady, unpredictable. We need both. We need both. There's a good mix here. I honestly can't predict myself if I'm totally honest. I don't know what I'm going to say. Okay, the first one is, if men had to give birth, humanity would end.

Okay, one, two, three. Disagree. I agree. They would figure it out. I think they'd have less children, for sure. Sure. Because they're like, that's,

men are so practical. You know, I think they could be like, let's grin and bear it once. But then once they go through it, I don't think they'd be crazy enough to do it again. Whereas,

like, women are crazy enough to be again. I think we'd have like one kid and if everyone that chooses to have children has one kid, it's going to die out soon. Okay. Because think about it,

they don't have the hormones to make you want to do it again. Right. We literally have all these hormones that are like, keep it going to be reproducing. But don't you think they would have those hormones if they're the ones giving birth? I can't think about that.

This is a really, deep hole. Then you're also just saying they're basically women. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm thinking. So they're not. Exactly the way they are. Exactly where they give birth. I still think disagree, but it wouldn't end, but maybe it would die slower than it would. I guess it would eventually end just slowly. Slowly. Humanity would end and this is factually based. Because Caleb just looked it up and he said to replace your population, you have to average 2.1 kids. Our population is already going down. Right. So you have to have a least 2.1. I don't think men would have more than one.

Men would end at one. Yeah. So I guess they would eventually die. Maximum. And do you think they would really be willing to sacrifice their careers? No. I just, I don't know. No.

No. Okay, it's okay. We can just say this is why it's amazing and unique that we are women and we are strong. Yeah, I just think about this. I just think about this. I'm like, we were primed in condition to deal with pregnancy because I was like trying to explain to Matt. I was like, women are tougher than men physically.

And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I said, no, hear me out. We have been, we have learned from the age of like whenever you got your first period. Yeah, 11 years old. As early as 10, 11, that you still keep going even when you're uncomfortable. You're primed in condition, ready for pregnancy. And they don't have that in place. So they get the calm and cold. And it's like, how can we continue on?

We have to change everything. Yeah, women are more resilient. I remember being on the bathroom floor when I got my period one time with cramping. And I was like, how am I ever going to have a baby? I was in so much pain. You had about 20 years of practice. And then here I am. Yep.

Did it. Yeah, all that practice, they would not be primed in condition to handle it. That's true, Abby. Okay, the next one. Pregnancy brain is just an excuse. Please, come on. Disagree. That is insanity.

Oh, wait, pregnancy brain is agree. I'm so sorry. Pregnancy brain did not get me postpartum brain. Got me like a, got me like mad. We should say our answers also because they can't, if they're not watching, they can't see. Okay. So, okay, you guys say, No, no, no. Sorry. Say the question again.

Pregnancy. See, you have it right now. Pregnancy brain is just an excuse. No, I'm going to disagree with that. I don't know. I'm just saying agree in the sense that I haven't had pregnancy brain. Have I? See, I'm so dumb. I believe other people's experiences, but for me, I'm like, I can't speak to that. I'm just coming out of, I think when people say pregnancy brain, they talk about it in postpartum, too. Oh, okay. So I'm 100% agreeing that pregnancy brain is the thing.

You have pregnancy brain when you're no longer pregnant? I had pregnancy brain three weeks ago. I think postpartum brain, for sure. I'm trying to think about pregnancy brain. I feel like pregnancy brain, my brain was so overwhelmed with so much, like, thinking about what's going to happen and my body changing and all the things that there was just too much in my brain. And that's why it was frazzled to like switch from like only thinking about work stuff

and not thinking about me being pregnant or just doing things and then thinking about how I'm pregnant. I feel like that's, my brain was just occupied by a lot of thoughts while I was pregnant. I didn't have it when I was pregnant as much. I feel like it's just, it is the postpartum. So that's why I just said, I think it is, I don't know about just next skills. I think you need to rebranding to postpartum brain. Yeah, that's a fog, a mental fog. Because honestly, all I could think about when I was nursing was nursing. That was really overwhelming for me. Yeah. Yeah. Every time. Because I was like always on a time clock. Yeah, I don't know. I believe other people's experiences, but it hasn't been for me. I've never been the sharpest tool in the shed, though,

so. You just stop putting yourself down. You guys, I have not, I have not a memory. You guys, you told me about you. I know your memory is bad, but I know you're good at you. You tell me about things that I've experienced. I'm like, respectfully, when was this? I feel like you remember a lot of things from when you were younger. I feel like that's Blake. I feel like my memories are formed by Blake retelling me. That actually is probably true. Okay next. I have cried over food at least once while pregnant. Cried over fruit. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. For sure. Nothing will bring out the

emotions important. Nothing will bring me to my knees. Just kidding. I never dooredushed in my life until I was pregnant. And I doordash when I was pregnant. That was Blake was out somewhere. I got Chipotle at 10 p.m. I was in bed going to sleep. And I doordash Chipole. And then I woke up and I ate it. And I went back to bed. Oh, Eddie, you had a bat in that first time. Oh, yeah. I just cried when I, like, I was expecting to eat something and then I found it was gone. That would make me cry and I felt like it was a personal attack. That did make me cry as well.

I was like, you knew I wanted that. Didn't that happen a couple weeks ago? Maybe two weeks ago? I cried when Caleb texted him. I said, oh, get some ice cream on the way home. And he said, what do you want? I said, don't get anything stupid. And then he came in the door with the stupidest ice cream.

Whatever. What was it? chocolate. I don't like chocolate ice cream and he knows that. And it was like chocolate peanut butter extreme. Did you just send them back out there? I looked at him. I started crying and he walked out the door left and got me cooking out. I was like that was just dumb. See I like chocolate peanut. He's like you didn't tell me what you wanted. I said I shouldn't have to know we've known each for 12 years. And you know I don't like chocolate ice cream. That was like that felt personal. I cried. That felt personal. Okay. I can't think of a specific one but definitely.

Like actually so many times for me. And it's like as it's happening, I'm like this is an overreaction. but I can't quite, I can't quite reverse what's been done. I think I would cry when I was like, I need something to eat and I don't have anything, like in the car. And I'm like, the fear. Yeah, the fear of like getting the sickness because you haven't eaten. That was scary. That would care.

That was throwing me. That would be scary. Or like I would cry because I, like, wanted to eat something healthy because I felt like the baby needed it. And I had, and it was like, the baby has had none nutrients. That would make me cry as well. Oh, that's sweet, Abby. I don't think I worried that much about that. I was like, well, you, I felt like you had a better diet than I had.

had in the first trimester. Oh, yeah, I just ate everything. No, I just ate literally bread. I had ramen noodles and crackers. The whole time. Literally 10 a.m. ramen noodles every day. You just got to do what you got to do. Support for today's episode comes from Square,

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I actually have Square and you can just pay with your credit card. And we were just so shocked because Square's taken over, you guys. Everyone who is having some sort of storefront can use Square because people don't have cash these days. I never have cash on me. And as a consumer, I just love supporting local businesses and even neighborhood businesses. And that's what Square makes possible, which is.

awesome. Square helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations, and insights together in one place. So you're ready for whatever's next. Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com slash go slash unplanned. That's SQU-A-R-E.com slash go slash unplanned. Get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do. This one's crazy. Babies know when you're about to get freaky. Are we talking about it? Disagree, baby. My baby is take naps.

So I don't know. Wait, wait, wait, pause. We're thinking about babies once they've been born. Oh, yeah, yeah, once they've been born. Agree. You think your babies cry every time and time to get it on? Or they wake up randomly early. No.

Also, also, we're good at our hassle. We work together so we can do odd hours. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that's good. m. wink, wink. No, my baby sleeps through the night, so she never wakes up, so it's never a problem. Yeah, well, that's...

Sorry, ladies, I don't have that problem. Sorry, disagree there. I actually do, there's got to be something to this with the timing. I really feel that way. The first trimester is the hardest part of pregnancy. Disagree. You disagree? What's your hardest part, Abby?

I think no matter what the last few weeks are just crazy. Like just trying to get out of bed, get out of bed, getting out of chairs, that's worse than the nausea. Because the nausea is a long-term game where it's difficult in the sense that it's like, it's bad and it lasts a long time. But the acute pain of the last few weeks is like that's worse in my opinion. I don't know. Like just like trying to, and I feel like I've had both fairly good.

Like my first trimester wasn't that bad. My third trimesters haven't been that bad either. But if I had to rank them. Just remember flipping in bed. Yeah. Flipping in bed is the worst. Getting out of bed, off the couch. I'd be curious to see how my second pregnancy will go because I'm thinking back to my first trimester

and how bad it was because of the morning sickness and not knowing it was going to get better. Like everyone says it's going to get better, but when you're in it, it was just like so, so bad. And so then I was like, it's never going to get better. So I'm curious knowing. You should get a prescription next time. Maybe I should do that. Zofran. I will look into that one because that would be fantastic.

But my third trimester, yeah, I don't remember it being that bad. I think I was so excited and it didn't matter. But yeah, sleeping. Your belly also did not get that big. Yeah, I didn't get that that big. You were so peppy in your third trimester. I was so jealous. I was like, oh my gosh, Addy looks so good.

Oh, you're so sweet. She's crushing it and I just felt I was in so much pain. Yeah, I feel like my second pregnancy felt worse though in the third trimester. I think mine's going to be really bad. Just with my pelvic floor and like my tailbone still hurts seven months postpartum. So I can't imagine how that's going to hurt when I get pregnant. Yeah, I would say my third trust. third trimester is way worse than my first.

But I don't really get nauseous in the first. I just get really tired, which is more frustrating than anything. The pain, yeah, in the third is just... In the first trimmer, I started sleeping over 10 hours a night. Yeah. Guys, I slept from 8.30 p.m. until 7 a.m. last night. Whoa. Are you pregnant?

Nope. I think I'm ovulating right now, though. No, no. I am ovulating, but no, no. Okay. Good enough. This one says working out during pregnancy makes things easier. Three, two, one.

Agree. I mean, yeah, neutral on that one. It's easier than it makes it. I agree because it's not easy to work out while you're pregnant. No. It actually hurts. It hurts also hurts, but it hurts worse to not work out. That's why we're saying it's easier.

Right. But I don't think it's easier. It's a good word. Oh. I just think it's less evil. I felt like my energy levels were much better. my motivation and my, I physically felt much better working out. Me too.

Yeah. Yes. Next one. Pregnancy is harder mentally than physically. Oh, I'm saying, agree. I'm saying disagree. Pregnancy is harder mentally than physically. I think agree for my first one.

Why? I think I really struggled with anxiety when I was pregnant, which is not something I normally had struggled with. and then just like thinking about everything because I'd never done it before. I think for my second one I'll feel, I'm like imagining that I'll feel harder on my body physically than mentally. But just with the first pregnancy, I was like, I have no idea what's happening right now. And so I feel like mentally it was harder.

You agree with mentally harder? Oh, that was a no-brainer for me. Pregnancy after loss is mentally like the most insane thing I've ever done. Sure. Yeah, absolutely. A lot of layers there. Yeah. It's like you actually know the worst case scenario.

you can picture it, you actually just lived it. So no one can tell you that's not going to happen. You're like, oh, but it can and it did. So there's just no, this sounds so negative, but there's no relief. So sorry, just trying to keep things realistic here. That's good. I have a follow-up question to that. Yeah.

Is that this pregnancy goes healthy, you have a healthy baby. Does that make any consecutive pregnancy easier or no? I don't know. Yeah. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Yeah. I can't imagine it gets much easier. I imagine it would be a little easier.

Okay. But I can't imagine it's back. It'll never be back to before. Yeah, absolutely. So, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's just, you know, you've seen too much. Sure.

And when you've been blindsided, I think the nature of being blindsided, too, like you think everything's fine. You've had nothing physically changed, nothing wrong. Like, that blindsided kind of just creates never, like, there's never really any peace of like, oh, everything's good. Whereas I kind of just felt anxious, but with overall peaceful, my other pregnancies, like this one is just like a low-lying anxiety constantly. So, and I think even at the doctors, I feel even less peace because I'm like it's associated

with a building like this. So, yeah, I can see why people would choose to never do it again. No one prepares you for how hard postpartum is. No one prepares you? Disagree. For how hard postpartum is. I say agree. I think disagree. No. I've been bad at this game. No one prepares you. I only say disagree because I think, I think your first time, sure, but I feel like we've had so many friends

that have had babies now that it's like, hey, let's prepare each other for how hard this is going to be. Like, let's do the meal trains. Let's talk about it. Oh, I was also the first to have babies. So I think it is a different experience if you're like the first to have a baby versus like you're in community going through it with people. I do think your first. You're, first baby versus consecutive babies is harder. Like, it's harder your first baby because you don't know how your body is going to respond. And so you don't know if you're going to get postpartum anxiety or depression. Whereas once you've gone through stuff, you can kind of prepare for the next time going through it, I guess. So I guess maybe the first time I would agree it's hard to prepare. But after that,

I think. Well, that's really the only time because then you've lived through it and it's not, you know, then no, it's no one else's job to prepare you. You know what I mean? Okay. Then I'd agree. Yeah. It's just something that you can't, you can't know. until you're going through it. And no one actually, like, I was the first to have kids of, like, all of my friends I knew at the time. And I feel like I, all I knew was, like, I don't even know if it was, like, I guess maybe social media.

And I was kind of just like, I will have a baby and it'll be great and amazing. And you don't think about all the layers of, like, I also think the lifestyle we had before. Like, I had no, I had the expectation that none of that was going to change, which was a very false expectation. Right. Yeah, I disagree. I feel like maybe it's because of the. community I had around me when I got pregnant the first time, which was mostly moms. And so I feel

like everyone prepared me and I felt like I had people to go to whenever anything was going on. I really felt supported and like I knew what was going to happen. Like someone bought me a postpartum care kit. I was like, I don't know what these heating pads are for and what these things are for. But then I was like, ah, I need them, you know. And I just, I felt like I had a community around me that I could talk to about it and be like, is this normal? Is this weird? What's going on? And that's why I say disagree because I think I did have the support system around. I had to find that community way post. Yeah. Like for, yeah. I think it'd be a different ballgame now for sure. Yeah. But I was really knocked on my butt there. I really needed my mom. Yeah. I was like, what's going on? Yeah. I have another

friend group that is all, there's only two of us that are moms and the rest are either pregnant or like want to be pregnant soon. And so it's really fun being on the other side of it and trying to, to support them during this time of coming mom soon. Yeah. Sharing the knowledge. Yes. Yes. I remember when I wasn't even near talking about having babies and my friends that had babies,

they would talk about their births and I'm like, what happens? Yeah, tell me everything. You know, it's like you're just so, everything is so new when your friends start going to that season of life and it was so fun hearing all that from them. So that's fun you get to do that for them. It's really fun. I should also say that shortly after having my first, I did need like a kind of major abdominal surgery. And we didn't have family out here yet.

We were out here by ourselves. You guys have freaking gone through it, dude. You're like, okay, crazy birds with Griffin, abdominal surgery, hernias, and then surprise pregnancy with Augie pretty closely soon after that. Loss. And now here you are with a public rest. I'm like, no one prepared me. Yeah, that's fair.

Absolutely fair. Abby's been walking so we can run. Yeah, really. Our whole life. No, no, no, no. I do think that whatever happens during, like, birth and, like, that severely alters your postpartum experience. Because when you, when mom's down for the count, I needed a surgery after having her

first. And so, and that one really, the recovery was harder than birth for me. And so I was like, wait, I just cannot handle this right now with a newborn. That's a lot. It was a lot at the time. You know, moms find a way. They do. Thank you to Upwork for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

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Screen time is necessary for surviving the third trimester. I don't get an answer. I don't get an answer. I'm going to say disagree. Agree? In general, I use screen time, so I can't say that. Disagree. I've never done it without.

So I would be so hypocritical to be a say disagree. Yeah, I'm going to say disagree. I mean, we let them watch TV and movies on the weekends. And so, like, we just kind of stuck to our, like, house rules with that. I didn't feel like, even though my body was super sore in the third trimester, I wasn't, I didn't have the energy decrease. In the first trimester, my energy was so low. There was definitely, like, a lot more screen time in the house.

So I would say in the first trimester, yes. But in the third trimester, I would disagree. I would feel that, too. I'm sure that's how it would be for me. Okay, now you're mincing words, though, because you, The other portion, other third of pregnancy, yes, it's mandatory. It only said the third. I'm just thinking of the question.

I'm just saying, I didn't use screen time when I was pregnant in the third trimester because my son was literally an infant when I was in the third trimester. So I guess I can say disagree, but I will say like my kids get screen time. They don't get it every day and we don't have like a routine for it. But like I'm not going to sit here and be like, never use it. Don't do it. So I don't know. Some days you just got to do what you got to do.

And that could happen not just in the third trim. So that can happen literally any time. And you also don't have to be pregnant. You can just be sick. Wednesday. We had a lot of movies. Yeah. If you're sick,

like it's just like sometimes, and I'm just going to say in motherhood, sometimes I'm going to say screen time is necessary. For sure, I would agree. It's in everyone's best interest. You should find out the gender as soon as possible. Agree or disagree.

I'm going to say disagree. Even though I do things differently now, post loss, I don't think, I think it's such a personal decision. You should find out or you shouldn't find out. Yeah, I was going to say disagree to you as in how the question is phrased. You should. I don't think you have to do it either way. Yeah. I would like to find out the gender as soon as possible in my pregnancies. Yeah. I agree with that. I would say disagree. We've waited both times with our babies. But again, like, I think the wording should is a little aggressive. You just got to do what you want to do. It feels best. It's so not serious, but until, until the media.

being such a drag until it is serious is what I felt like. Like it's like, oh, it's so fun to find out. And then, like, that was something that I did differently in a pregnancy after loss. It's like I wanted to know everything about this baby for as long as I got to enjoy this life. And so, like, we, for a little context, we found out that our daughter was a girl the same day that we found out that she wasn't alive anymore. And I was like, I never want that news to be paired that way ever again. So that's where I changed my mind where now I feel like something.

people view it as like an irresistible like impatience or like and it's like that's actually not necessarily what it is it's actually like something that is it's just it's more meaningful in this context for us personally but it's such a personal decision and it's so not serious and the gender of your kid is not serious but it's just as much as you can know about them when you can't see them or talk to them you know and so it does carry like a different type of weight now for us personally but i think that makes a lot of sense yeah it's like you you know you're you want to have, you want to mentally prepare. It's not from a lack of self-control is what I'm saying.

If people think that, that's kind of sorry. Well, we have had people like, oh my gosh, you just can't wait, can you? I'm like, I guess I could if I really needed to. Like, if I really needed to, I could wait. Yeah, I feel the same way, especially because I, we did a blood test to find out the gender of Briel. And I just wanted something else to feel a little more connected. And that was what we wanted to do. I don't think it was a that we couldn't wait.

I mean, I really wanted to find out, so maybe I couldn't. But it was more so that I wanted to feel connected. I wanted to give her a name. I wanted to start talking to her. Not that you can't do that without knowing the gender, because you obviously did the same. But I just wanted to feel a little more. It helps with other littles in the house too, I think.

Like with having a name and like the talking about it, like it feels more like they, realistic. Like they knew Briel before she kicked. Like they were talking about her before she was even born. think there's like a certain sweetness to that too. This is Breel? Like when she was born, it's cool seeing the transition. And even now our friends kids talk about our baby because they know the name and they like ask about the baby. And I'm like, oh my gosh, how do they even remember and

put two and two together? It's always the little girls. They like, they know. They're so already like intuitive. Intuitive for sure. And like babies and stuff. That made me laugh when we were on a flagstaff and I Augie said, where's Prielle? And I said, she's taking a nap. She goes, in your belly? I said, no, no, no. She just went back in the rest. I said, but your Bobby has a

baby in her belly. And he was like, yeah, and then he said the name. And then that's how we found out the gender. Oh my gosh, that's hilarious. I was so great. I didn't know that. They were a taking time bomb. They said, baby. And I was like, what are you saying?

And he kept saying it. And I was like, what? He has a speech impediment. Yeah, I was like, are you saying this or are you saying this? That's the thing. The way he pronounces, the name is very misleading. Oh my gosh, it's hilarious.

I didn't know that story. Yeah, it's great. But talk about your experience waiting until birth. I thought it was really, I mean, I loved it. I thought it was fun. It was fun having CJ kind of guest. I mean, he pegged it. He said girl the whole time.

He was saying baby sister. I feel like for him with the age he was at the third trimester, he didn't really get the pregnancy until the third trimester anyway, like, because my belly, you know, once it gets really big and he had a lot of fun with that at the end. But it just suits our personality. So, well, my personality could not necessarily kill his personality. Like he would enjoy finding out sooner. But I think the way that I process things too, it's so fun finding out at the moment that the baby is, our babies have been born to find out.

I feel like it helps give me just such motivation. And I don't know, it's just like this, the climax to this story. Like it's such a fun, cool surprise. and this labor that is like so crazy and hard than meeting your baby and like having killed, say the gender. It just was so cool. That's cool. Yeah.

It was fun. So yeah, I'm sure. I mean, we've done it with our last two. But yeah. I'm like it's just fun. Well, and now I feel like since you have one of each, it's like you might as well just not find out. I know.

I know. I was talking to kill about that. I'm like, now that we have one of each, I would say that I feel satisfied but not complete. So now every baby is just like a like the gender is just like a bonus. I'm like oh like another girl or another boy like that's just so fun. But now I feel like satisfied. I'm like, okay, we have a girl and a boy. That's cool. That's cool. I don't have that anxious feeling of like, oh, what if I hope the next one. You know, it's just like there's no preference moving forward. Right. That's sweet. Yeah. We all have kind of different because I used to wait until the anatomy

skin like midway. I always said that was like a good checkpoint. Like a little motivation. Yeah, halfway. And then you found out like the early tests. Yeah, I think 10 weeks we did our test. Did you do the sneak peek for this movie? No, I, well, we had to do it also for high risk. At the doctors, they just knew.

Well, they did the NIPT test, which is like for genetic testing. Got it. And your genetics reveals. Well, they can or they can't. I thought the sneak peek was sooner than that. Yeah, because it's not, they're not giving you a full genetic screening. We got like the medical screening at like whatever 10 a week. Okay, fun.

Yeah. when I was at the MFM. Like they were like, we're doing this test. You can either find out the gender or not. What's crazy was when we did sneak peek and we went to the center to give up my blood. Yeah, it was at 10 weeks too. And I was talking to them. I'm like, what are people typically coming here for?

She goes, well, this time we see people that are doing paternity tests. Oh, my. I was like, well, this is a more happy one. I just want to find out the gender of my baby. will switch up. Yeah, I was like, she's like, I never see these people again. So then I, but then I know the test results. They're like, she's got the tea. She's like, I know if they are the dad or not. I'm like, that's kind of cool. She's the modern day mom. Yeah, because they like read the test. Yeah, she does. That's the thing about ours too is like, since it was connected with the genetic screening, the most of the weight of this,

like, the news fell on like the results of the genetic testing. So when all those like looked like, their job is to assess risk. They're not to say like, you. your baby has this or does not have this. And so when they all said, like, low risk, I was like, okay, I feel like really good. Like, I felt like a lot better from that point on, you know, only a certain degree of peace can be had from that. But, like, it was really secondary, I guess, to just like the baby was in good status. Totally. But so then I was like, just tell me that.

And then we're, you don't have to tell me the gender right now. Okay, wow, this one. Announcing pregnancy early is a mistake. Oh. disagree strongly disagree I think there's a difference between announcing online versus announcing to your friends and family I would like tell you my family the day of you know

I think telling the people close to you that you're okay talking about if there's a loss tell those people right away you know but I would say maybe I don't think it's a mistake to tell the internet I don't think there's a mistake to do anything but I would personally wait a little longer to tell the internet in the world but Like your friends and your family, I tell right away. Yeah.

Say whatever you're comfortable, whatever you're comfortable with. It doesn't matter what the status quo is or that most people wait until 12 weeks or that you should wait till this or that. I think whatever you are most comfortable with and I think that changes and that's okay. Yeah. That was a tender spot for me also post loss is people are like, we just waited until 12 weeks to be safe. And I was like, yeah. safe right and so like I guess now I'm like obviously I've announced publicly way later but all of our friends and stuff knew and I think it was more so because like I just knew the scale of like the

internet and like having I was like I just got to protect my mental health right now and make sure I have everything sorted and you know there's only so much you can do once it's all out there in the world and I have to be prepared then too to like talk about it which I would have talked about it anyway because now I'm very like much of like an advocate in the sense of like honoring like unborn life. And so like I would have talked about it, but I was like I can't, I just need more space between like when we were talking about Emerson to like talking about if something were to go wrong this time, which there was a very real time in this pregnancy where we thought things were going to go wrong. And so, and to be honest, I can't say that I've shaken that. So like there's just never a point in

that time but I do think women talking about I don't think it's I don't think it should be expected at all because it's very difficult to do but I think more women speaking up about like their loss it makes everyone feel like I'm inspired and feel comforted by other people's stories now I have to decipher when I can hear it and when I can't hear it sometimes I'm like I can't handle it right now like I'm not in that space but that's my job and I feel really like I feel like when people talk about their experience or not even their experience but just like their baby like I'm like I feel like that is honoring and like I gain something from that too. For sure.

So I don't ever think, I kind of throw that out the window now that there's ever like a point where it's like, okay, now it's acceptable to talk about it because everything is fun and dandy. Totally. And so, yeah, that's a strongly disagree for sure. I'm so sorry. You guys have to bear with my voices. It sounds worse than I think it does, I feel like. Abby needs your tonsils out.

I do need my tonsils out, but who's got the time, honestly? Who is going to schedule that one? Who is going to schedule that? like next year like not three months postpartum no more surgery no more surgery postpartum no I don't want to do that no my birth is a surgery right exactly that's plenty gender reveals should be canceled what disagree why they're fun they're so fun we need a party we love parties here yeah maybe those people just need to reframe it as um it's really just a celebration of pregnancy yeah it's an early baby shower it's a pregnancy party with the men yeah yeah

With the men. Yeah, it's a pregnancy party. Just get everyone together. It's like you don't actually have to care of like strongly one way or the other. Right. And it can just be fun, okay? Right. Hey, most of us knew the gender and we still had a party.

It's just fun, okay? The gender reveal was revealed to the internet. Not to anyone at the party. Yeah. I guess some people didn't know. Our friends didn't know. Yeah, the family. The family all knew.

The kids kind of. It's just fun, okay. It doesn't have to be that serious. It doesn't have to be that serious. And also, who doesn't have to be that serious. And also, who doesn't. So who doesn't want a party? Exactly.

Who doesn't want free food? Yes. Seriously. I want chicken minis and pastries. Please. I want more right now. Can we do another? Breastfeeding is way harder than people admit.

This is probably similar to your postpartum experience. So. Agree. Addie's saying disagree, but me and Abby both say agree. Agree. It's been pretty easy for you. Everyone just says how hard it is. I feel like no one says how easy is.

Because it's not easy. What part do you think is easy? No, I don't think it's easy. just think everyone said how hard it was so I was prepared for it to be hard. Oh good. I'm glad we prepared you correctly. Yes, exactly. That's why I'm saying. I disagree because everyone prepared me correctly. You guys did. You did. You did. I don't know how far we were into it. Maybe three to four weeks into. You had a tough day at our house on a Sunday. I did. I did. And that's when I ordered nipple shields. And it saved my, it saved my whole journey.

Honestly, let's go to the snow upstairs in the bedroom. I was like, Blake, I'm done. I think that's what it is. Like if your baby's having struggles and you feel like you're the one that's the reason why your baby's not getting fed, it's like... That's mentally such a burden. Like that's like not a burden. It's just like such a heavy weight to carry.

Yes. It's a heavy, yeah, it's a heavy load. And you're like, I am the soul person that is nourishing and sustaining this precious, precious life. And it's on a timetable and sometimes it's confusing and sometimes they're going to have difficulties and sometimes I'm going to have difficulties. And it also feels so. foreign and you want to do it in the middle of the night and my nipples are bleeding and I'm like

they hurt they're exploding I have a boob in my armpit like totally you mean I have to tell me I'm sitting down for like four hours a day just sitting here with something attached to my boob like that's hard you don't know how much they're eating I know how much they're eating but guess what guys it's beautiful I'm doing it again it's amazing I'll never not do it like with my babies it's the greatest gift it's there's like a purpose for it but that doesn't think gait that it's hard. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of factors to like, I'm glad, Eddie, that we're prepared for it. Yeah, you guys greatly prepared me for it. I think it's great. Like, why is it like such a, it has two sides, like a lot of things. But like, it's so natural. But then also it feels so, it can feel so unnatural. And so

then people like, it's natural, your body's supposed to do it. Everything's happening. How it's happening? You're like, but what if it's not? Like, am I just broken? Like, is my nature broken? And I feel like that was where I was like, oh, especially some lactation consult. were like really um natural very natural very like let the baby find the breast let the breakfast bril would literally never find it dinner and dessert and i was like i'm sorry can someone intervene can someone intervene and so i feel like that's when i felt the most like shame of my own body like i was like it's not working and it's supposed to work just naturally and so So that's when I felt like the most frustration when I was like, but then when I, you know,

you find your own rhythm eventually. Yeah. And every baby's different too. So it's not like something that you feel like you get used to it or like you can learn. It's like, oh, I did it once. I could do it again. My second was harder. throws you for a loop again.

Which Vivian has been a way better eater than CJ. So I'm grateful in that sense. But I'm just like, I think just the schedule of it all is really hard for me. Especially if you're not already a scheduled person. I'm like, wow, this is like a little heavy duty room. this is good. I'm only need to buckle down. It's making Mama buckle down.

Yeah, my second boycotted one breast, and that was really five months in. That was why I was like, you're like, wait, we've been doing this for five months. Five months. What's going on here? He literally would look at one of them and just be like, mm-mm.

That's how well was at the very beginning. I didn't know what that way. She would only take one side. And so then they're like, do a football hold. I'm like, hold her on the side. No, the football holds terrible. It worked on the one boob. She would not.

I don't think she liked to lay on that side, but then she figured it out. Oh. Oh. Oh. I couldn't ever. My kid was too long. It was weird.

It was very odd. It was very odd. It was strong enough. That's like when people are like, I just breastfeed in the car. And I'm like, I'm sorry, maybe my fourth kid. I don't know how they're reaching in there. The Duna's deep. I tried.

I was leaning. I did too. I was like, it's not long enough. No, I don't understand that. There was a good 10 inches between my nipple in their mouth and the carty. But I think the Duna is like deeper set. I don't know. I would never ever try that.

I just haven't noticed I was out of bed like that. We were on a car ride and I was like, please, and then it just didn't work. I was like, my whole weight is on this car seat. We had bottles always prepared for that situation. We were big bottle girl, bottle family and breastfeed at the same time. She liked both, so it was okay. Good. Thank God.

See, I was advised to never use a bottle at this stage. So then I was like trying to do it. Then we should have to pull over every time on the way to Tahoe. I was like, if you would just take it in the car seat, but I can't even reach. Thank you. wayfare for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Refresh your space and make your home work better for you with Wayfair. They have everything from furniture and decor to organization solutions and outdoor essentials. Wayfair makes it easy to find what fits your style and needs that work within

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On the breastfeeding trend, it's okay to still be breastfeeding a four-year-old. Oh. People are going to get upset about this, but I'm going to say disagree. You know what? Is it okay? That's what I'm saying. It's okay. I would never do it.

I agree. I agree. It's okay. Do I think it's odd personally? A little. I just imagine CJ like he's so grown. I'm sorry. Griffin can have a full conversation with me.

He's actually talking about reproduction at this point. Like I don't know that he needs to put his mouth on my breast. Is it okay if you think it's okay? It's natural and I say it's okay. It's okay. But I do think that I, there is. for sure never rolled in which I would do it. Right.

I stopped at 12 months and I felt like that was a good stopping point for both my kids. Sure. Actually, with Augie was 11 months, so. People are going to be so upset by that answer. I know it, but that's okay. Sometimes I wonder, I'm like, who wants it at 4th, the baby or the mom? Yeah. Like, it's just a connection thing at that point.

Like, let's do a hug. Let's do a good hug. Oh, good long hug. Yes. Let's do a cuddle. Let me sing a song. Because a 4-year-old is going to remember that. I don't know.

It's interesting. It's time to... Is it okay? It's okay. Maybe it's a failure to launch. Yeah. Yes. Is it okay though?

It's okay. It's okay. It's different. I feel so sad saying that. It's okay. It's okay, but... Her mouth shut. Hey, you know what?

There's people out there that are like... They're going to be comments. They're going to be comments. I remember comments on an episode. People were like, I've nursed my kid until they were seven. Okay. So they're going to be people that disagree with us and that's okay. They disagree with me and I disagree with them.

That's right. It can go both ways. And guess what we're doing? agreeing to disagree. We're agreeing and disagree. So, I mean, for me personally, disagree. Yes. I would like those to be mine at that point long before we get there. Also, are you still producing milk is my question. I'm already losing it. I don't know if you're giving it for four years. No, I'm pumping morning and night and getting like three ounces each. We're about to be. There's so many questions. Let's move on. That'd be a good documentary. Okay. Mom guilt never goes away.

Oh. Mom guilt. Milt never goes away. Mom, guilt. I'm going to guess sure. I mean, I'm only three and a half years into it, but it's getting, I'm going to agree. It's getting worse in some ways. Yeah, I almost feel like when your kids, it's easier to leave, like, my baby than it is

to leave my toddler because now he's aware. Yeah, the things that they say. Yeah, it makes you a little more sad to, like, leave them. And also, they're so fun. It's like, I don't want to miss out on the things, too. Not that, like, a baby you're missing out on things. But like with a toddler, there's just so many milestones and funny things that happen. And I'm like, oh, I feel guilty missing those.

So I would agree. I don't think it ever goes away. And then I think about my mom. And I'm like, even her, I feel like she feels guilty. Yeah. I don't think it ends, ladies. That's okay. That just means we love our babies.

It just means we care. I do think that I've told you before, Sadie Robertson speaks really well about mom guilt. And I feel like that has helped in some ways with, like, me feeling like, I feel like there's a certain calling to my career. but then also I'm like, I'm certainly called to be a mom. And like how you can have both and not necessarily, like you can have confidence in both roles at the same time. I think it would be unrealistic, especially for me, like, given my personality type, to be like, I have zero guilt. Right. But that's the goal, right?

I think all feelings are valid, but they can't all be trusted. Right. So it's like sometimes that guilt probably is telling me like, hey, you've been way too much or whatever it is. Like, there's probably some truth to that guilt. But then other times I'm like, I probably need to reflect like, is this just me being sensitive to. to this or like is it is actually okay yeah yeah yeah so I think there's it's good like I feel like guilt is that reminder to like check in yeah moms deserve a push present every time yeah I agree of course did I get one this time no do I think I deserve one of course call out Caleb in the

comments actually I did get a push present it was Netflix but was that what I was I did ask for that actually do I think it should be a little bit more luxurious you guys this was my push present for Griffin. I wear the movie a day. Beautiful. Did you do a push present? No, that's why I say disagree. It just wasn't necessary. I mean, not saying you shouldn't need, well, you just weren't at a place where we were like, I want you

to buy me something. It wasn't like, I don't need anything. We didn't go on a baby moon. We did go on a cruise, like, five months postpartum, and I want to do that again. We really enjoyed having that time together. Maybe that was my push present. We went on a vacation, like five months postpartum, and I really enjoyed that. But I don't. Personally,

I didn't need one. Yeah. I mean, need, no. What was the question? Mums, deserve. Deserve? Sure. If you want one, sure.

Sure. Deserve? Yes. Need, no. But also, like, sometimes, like, financially doesn't always make sense. But I, I agree. Deserving.

You're getting here. If you're having a C-section, yeah. What was your, what was your, what was your, agree, Matt, what are you get? Ogie. Matt, really good about it. N necklace, ear-rigs. So you got earrings for Griffin.

I got earrings for Griffin. I really wanted new workout set and a new gym membership. And like he got me like a whole workout thing. He's like, I am prefaced. He got me new tennis shoes. He's like, I am prefacing this that this is what she asked for. But that's like I was so excited to like enjoy moving my body again.

And so he got me a set from Allo. And it's actually the only Allo set I have and probably will actually ever have. But it was very fun to have. Yeah. I still have it. And I still wear it. Do you think Allo's quality is good? It is good.

Okay, I feel like I hear so many mixed reviews online. It's a yoga brand for sure. Okay, so not for like high intensity. That's why I will be a one and done. I think it's more of a streetwear brand. Okay. And then I was like, actually, do feel like this is actually just for the branding because I do like other athletic wear brands.

I think it's very high quality. Yeah, okay. Interesting. Toddlers can sense weakness and will absolutely exploit it. What does that mean? I don't have topics, but I'm going to say agree. I like kind of agree. Wait, what do you mean?

Wait, can you tell me how you're interpreting this? Because I don't have an answer. Like if they, if you give them an inch, they're going to take a mile. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Yeah, I agree. My son is an expert negotiator.

Yes, I'm like, no, they can sense a little bit of a give. They're going to take that. They're going to push for that, you know? And honestly, I feel like I kind of like that he's a negotiator. I think that's a really good quality to have. At the library today, he was playing a game on a computer, and I was like, okay, you have two more minutes of that. And now you need to go play with a toy and read a book. He goes, four minutes. And I said, three. And he goes, okay. And I was like, all right. I love what he does it. I was like, I'll give you $5. Compromise.

He goes, two. I was like, no. I'll give you. Oh, you're like negotiated down. It's a bad bargain. No, I think it's kind of good that we can find like some. Now, obviously, when it's something important, what I say goes. and I will stand my ground. But like for those types of things, I'm like, three. And it's like, it's fun. It's fun. But yeah, he for sure knew that I was, I guess, weakness can call it, but I had some wiggle room.

That's the other day when one of you kids, they spilled the chick fly on the ground and I was like, you know, help me clean it up? And he's like, no. And I'm like, oh. Well, actually, not do you want to help me clean it up? I was like, Abby was sitting there. I was like, do I make him do it?

Do I just clean it up? I don't know what to do. I asked him to say it to help me and he said no. And I'm like, I don't know what to do. I was like, I didn't know what to do. That's what Caleb. He said, can you do this? And then he goes, no, actually, you're going to do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, don't ask the question. And then he was like, okay. I'm like, don't give him the option. That's a hard thing as a parent because I would say like, do you want to do this. It's like actually something that we are going to do either way. So like having to like, that was something that I had to spend a lot of time like rephrasing that, Matt and I both did. Yeah, my mom pointed that out to me in time.

She was like, you keep asking me if he wants to do it. You need to stop asking. Like, you just need to tell him to do it. And I was like, you're so right. Do you want to get in the car so we can go to so and so? It's like, that's so easy to say. It's like, actually, you don't have an option. So unfortunately. In the name of being nice, I'm saying it like this, but he doesn't understand that. He's too. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I have hidden in the bathroom to get a moment of peace. Agreed. Probably every day, actually. But it doesn't happen anymore because DJ loves to sit in there with me while me.

lock the door I know but I'm the only one home so I have to like supervise so I'm like come on in buddy come on in buddy but yeah I definitely have agreed yeah I'm like gosh moms can flex that as well of course I'm like it's serious I gotta go upstairs yeah sometimes I sit on the floor and sit on the toilet so that I don't pass out Abby you know they say it's bad to sit on the toilet too long so I'll just sit on the floor not because you're gonna pass out well they say you can get hemorrhoids and stuff yeah but Hemorrhins aren't going to make you pass out. I think you can lose circulation.

I mean, this is wild. Fun fact. How long are you in there? Catch me reading my book in the bathroom on the floor. Strict nap schedules, white noise, and blackout curtains are the only way to sleep. Baby, I disagree, and y'all know it. You can hate me for it. Your son did not nap at my house.

Okay, but he's in transition. I don't think you do. I will say disagree. I don't think you need all it. Yeah, I disagree. And Breil wants to dark. I mean, I think dark. I think sound machine, non-negotiable.

Yeah, I kind of agree with that. You just got to drown out the outside noise. That's kind of my, and then dark. No, you guys follow a strict schedule, though. Oh, I mean, you're very strict on your schedule. Yes. Very strict schedule. Yeah.

You're going to lighten up on the next one, I believe. Well, here's where I've lightened up is that she doesn't always nap the same amount of time. And so then I have to flex the schedule. a little bit. That's crazy. That's strict. That's very strange. I love it, Addy. She's sleeping through the night. I love you and Blase communication. You're like, okay, and then we'll give her a 20 minute nap at 510, but wake her up. She has to be up by 530. My mom, my mom, she texts me. She goes, so she woke up at 415. I said, no more in naps. That's funny. That's amazing. I think you also love an excuse to leave. You're like, oh.

It's so great. But I will, I do, I do hate it sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, oh, this stinks. But other times, here, we used to have used to the dogs. The dogs are the bathroom. You did. Now you have a baby. Now we have a baby.

I'm honestly just jealous of you and your time management skills. So that's why. Do it works. I do sometimes have phoma though when we leave. And I'm like, sometimes like, how is Vivian still there? How is she still awake? How is she got to be happy? Loose schedules over here.

It's okay. You got to do what you got to do. I respect it. We've fluctuated in and out of that as well. We're very strict on some things and not strict at all in other things. You got to pick your balance. And actually now that they're two and three, I feel like, wow. I've come a long way.

Everything is wishy-washy. Gentle parenting doesn't work. I honestly don't feel like I can answer this question. Agreed. I don't know enough. I don't even know what the gentle parenting method is. But I feel like the internet's going to say like, no, it doesn't work. But I'm just like...

I feel like your parenting might lean on the side of gentle parenting. I think there's like parts of it that I'm like that probably don't work and then there are parts of it I'm like that's good but yours works so sometimes I feel like my family do you do gentle parenting I don't follow it specifically no I don't even know what it is like I've never read intuitive parenting like you just got to do what you got to do that no I feel like this is my like assessment of other people watching my parenting is that I'm not strict enough I probably thinks that Abby's kids just run the show and it's like are they wrong no I was not exactly My friend asked me the other day, actually, she said, what do you ask your friends, you and our friend Val, like a lot about parenting?

They said, yeah, I feel like they have different strengths. I feel like you are really good at speaking to your kids in a way that they understand. That's so nice. And I've learned so much from watching that. So, no, I don't think that your kids is like run amok and you. But they're good kids. Yeah. They're good kids.

But I think that you have a strong, I think people just have strong different gifts. And like some people are really good at like being strict about, you know, disciplinarians in different ways than others. And I think you're really good at speaking to your kids in a way that they actually understand. Or sometimes I'm like, I'm just running my mouth. I don't think anyone's understanding. That is really, really, really nice. I feel like the other thing is that my kids genuinely like don't bother me.

Like actually, like much at all. And I'm like, I feel like I have rose-colored glasses for my children. So like when they're doing something, I'm like, that doesn't bother me. And I'm like, I should probably correct that. I'm like, but I'm not bugged. And so I feel like if I was genuinely bugged by the things that they did or I feel like I would step in more. Whereas I feel like some people are like, I just can't handle like that noise or like that mess or like that that type of play.

Oh yeah. Like I'm like I feel like it's like totally fine with me. Totally. Yeah. But in the home. I feel like in public I get a little bit more nervous. Yeah. I need to step in in public more probably.

I didn't know how to handle the other day at Flat Trial when they were like all running around. Oh, see that didn't bug me. I know. But then I was like is it bugging other people? I don't know. They weren't around other people. I know. That's the things where I sometimes are like.

Not about your kids, just that's what me with my kids. I'm like, am I worried too much about what other people think in public? I don't know. That's where I'm like, I battle. But yeah, at home, nothing bothers me. Yeah, they're playing with the misters. It was really cute. It was really cute.

Okay, so I don't know. I guess I would say that I am, I try to embody gentleness in my parenting. Yeah. So I just would say probably disagree. I don't know. We have high expectations for our kids, though. I really will say that. Every parent compares their kids to other.

kids. I would agree with that. Yeah, I would agree. Sure. Okay. This is where it wasn't Arthur Brooks that said like a certain level of comparison is good. Yeah, I think comparison is healthy. It's good to know. It's like, okay, first of all, with milestones, like, how far off are we from, now this is where you can't get anxiety. There's like a specific anxiety related to milestones. But like, it's like, hey, when did they start doing this? And you're like, okay, I'm going to flag that this is like, they're a little behind compared to their friends in this area. And it's like, okay, now it's something I actually should probably bring up with their pediatrician. Or like, oh, this kid is able to do this.

Or heck, I was like, oh, they're already starting sports. I should sign Griffin up for sports. There's like a healthy level of comparison. And there's obviously a very unhealthy level of comparison. And I feel like that gets harder as they get older and the differences become greater. Because right now I feel like they're all kind of fairly even. Like the differences are minor. But then when you start entering like higher level sports or like,

some kids really start excelling in school and get into like a gifted program at school and some are like needing like iEPs in certain areas like i feel like that's where it's going to be more difficult oh interesting yeah i could see that yeah it's easy for us to say now when it's like oh your kid started walking three three weeks before my kid started walking versus like oh your kid is like struggling in school and this kid is like skipping a crate and accelerated program i don't know yeah there's a healthy level that's all i'm saying having kids makes marriage harder. I'm going to say, I agree.

Sure, because it's just another person to take care of. Yeah, but I feel like it's made our marriage stronger. Yeah. It has made it a little harder, but we've also gotten stronger because of it. Mm-hmm. You get less one-on-one time. Yeah. And I feel like you just have to really, that's hard to do.

Yep, I would agree. Sometimes I'm like, yeah, it's made it better and stronger. I think it's made our marriage richer and that I feel like the depth of like our trust and reliance on one another has to be so much. greater, like, we have to really, like, understand that the other person is going to, like, stick on their responsibilities and, like, stick to their word. We have to figure out, like, navigating how to discipline, how you want to parent, like, these big vision goals for our family. Those things are, like, really have made us grow deeper in a lot of ways. But I think, like,

logistically, marriage is probably a lot harder. You said that really well. Thanks. There's a lot more factors. It gets more complicated. And when it's more complicated, it gets harder. Right, but not in a bad way. It's just different. It's nothing to discourage anyone from having kids. Like and, but it is something I think having accurate, like John's Lernernerner says, you have a new marriage once you have kids. Every kid you have, you have a new marriage and just like, always just like being willing to adjust and rework how it looks just between the two of you is. Yeah. It's a exercise for sure. Yeah. But yeah, I think it's made it richer. Pregnancy hormones have started at least one unnecessary argument. Oh, heck yeah.

Disagree, y'all. Because you know what? No, I'm going to blame him all hormones for that. It was his fault. No, I agree. It's, yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember when I first got pregnant and I was like, I don't know who I was, for some reason I feel like I was talking to my dad. That would this would be weird. But I was like, I don't know. There's like pregnancy rage, but I don't know how I could ever be mad at him. I'm so happy. that came back to bite me. I definitely got mad at him. I actually last week, I called Matt and I was like really intense.

And I was like, I didn't even feel that. Like I felt disconnected from my response. And I texted him right after I got off the phone. I was like, I'm sorry. I came in really hot there. Yeah. And his response, he goes, I'm used to it right now. You're pregnant.

And I was like, that's kind. F you. I was like, that's kind. I was like, I've been so good to you. Oh my gosh, that's great. I've been so good to you. He said, I'm used to it. I was like, oh.

No. At least you gave you the grace of being like, you're pregnant. So it was a little grace. He didn't even react really. And I was like, you know what? I need to acknowledge that that was hot and heavy for like for what. Like for really literally what. Yeah.

And so then, and then it started a rage. So never apologize. I was always apologizing. I'm like, that was really harsh tone for no reason. Really sorry about that. remember one time that I got so mad at Blake and I was yelling and you know the whole bit and I walked out the door because I was leaving anyway I have no idea what it was about I would love to remember I'm sure it was something so it was really bad yeah I feel like also your husband's genuinely like Matt walking through a

forced pregnancy with me now like he is so desensitized to every symptom in the book I'm not even kidding he's literally just like that's beautiful and awesome I'm not kidding I actually feel like he like genuinely means. I'm like, you really don't, you think that's, like, my vainy boobs. Uh-huh. And he's like, that's amazing. And I'm like, whoa. They do get so desensis . Kail was so, just like, it was so normal, everything the second time around that I was just like, actually, I just need you to, like, validate me. This is different. Like, please tell me, I'm not great. Please tell me I look, I look different. Yes. Yes. They're so dis sensitive. Like, please tell me that you're sorry that this is hard. This one says, it's normal for your spouse to feel like a

roommate. Yeah, I agree. Oh, really? It's normal. Oh, in postpartum. Oh, is this outside of pregnancy? I don't know. It's just general. Oh, but this is a pregnancy. I would say pregnancy. I agree. Normally, I would disagree. But there are seasons for sure where, like, you're in a roommate stage. Is it always like that? I don't think it should always be like that. Maybe I'm just different that I've never associated like us. Let's say we're not having sex as often or not doing anything as him as my roommate. He's always felt like my husband. I just never feel like he's my roommate. I don't know why. I've just never, sweet. I mean, there's seasons where we're not like doing anything like relationship wise and we're just hanging out. But I never feel like he's my roommate. I don't know why. That's good.

I just don't associate with that word. That's my... That's overly affectionate, I will say. And so I feel like that has like helped. I also feel like we're far enough removed from like a baby stage I forget. And those six weeks, those first six weeks, I will say I can agree. with like feeling like like it just feels like everything is like you do the chores I do my chores we do it and we're eating your out the end of the day yeah and then and obviously there's like no it's nothing romantic and it's this nothing movie looking like romance obviously it's so romantic to see your husband hold a new baby like there's things like that but then yeah like I feel like in the middle of the night too we had gotten it down to such a science that was just literally like signing off

yeah now we're going to pass out for two hours I mean I feel like we've also we've also we I've had seasons where it's just been so busy, like he'll sometimes will work 70 or 80 hours in a week. And I'm like, where you've been, you know? And that definitely feels like roommate season. Yeah. So I feel like, yeah, that's normal. That was able to be more present. So I feel like that is like the difference there.

During the baby years, your relationship has to take a back seat. I actually strongly disagree with this one. I strongly disagree with that as well. I think it's very important to not do that. Yeah, I think so too. And I feel like there's a lot of harmful messaging around this. I will say. Like, I feel like there's guilt around like any time type of separation from your baby.

Like, all of it is bad. And it's like if it's for your marriage and you're like using that time intentionally to grow together and to deepen your marriage, that is worth it 10x for your children. And they will benefit from that as well. Yeah, I agree. I don't have anything to add to that. No. We sure? Yeah.

No, I completely disagree. That's the time to strengthen this. Strengthen the foundation. You don't want to have a, you don't want to have a, like, a chip on your shoulder towards your kids for driving a wedge in your marriage. Like, you don't want to have resentment towards your kids for hurting your marriage. So you really need to make sure that you prioritize that. And I'm going to be so honest, when I had both of my kids, my, my nature wanted to

completely disregard that. Like, it was like, we have these vulnerable lives that need me 100% of the time. Like, I had to actually, like, not view it as one. it was at the expense of the other. That was a really hard thing that I had to like on rework in my head. And yeah. Totally. And I feel like it has just been awesome for even, we only have toddlers now.

But they like always like talk about marriage and dating and love. It's really funny. Checking your partner's location is totally normal. Yeah, I agree. I check it almost every day. I'm like, five o'clock where are you at? Same. I'm like, is he at least on its way home?

I like, he's trying to help. Yeah. I miss him. I always know where that man is. Same. I always ask him, like, do you track me? He's like, not usually. I'm like, well, you should.

Yeah, but never looks at my location. I'm like, you can see. Like, do you love me? Yeah. He's like, he calls me and I'm like, I'm at work. I'm like, I can't answer. How you doing? That's funny.

Apologizing first doesn't always mean you were wrong. I agree with that. Yeah, you taught me that. I told you that. Yeah. Oh, that's good advice. You gave me really good advice. That's sweet.

You gave me really good advice for saying like, sorry. Now I'm going to forget it. Like I'm sorry things felt like things feel weird. Or like basically just like saying like acknowledging things are often like saying you're sorry for whatever your role is even if you can't quite define what it is. I'm not giving your advice well. But you taught me that. Oh, that's sweet. I'm glad it's been helpful.

Yeah. Okay. Would you or your spouse agree on who apologizes the most? I wonder if we would. Because Matt and I disagree. We both think that we apologize more than the other. I feel like that's common. I feel like we would, I feel like we would agree that Blake apologizes before me and the most, even when I'm the one and they're wrong. That's sweet. He's very good. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. He's like, no, no, no, no. We're going to talk this out. I think

Caleb and I'd probably disagree because I think we both apologize a lot. So he'd probably be like, I apologize more. I'd be like, no, I apologize more. I'm going to ask. Yeah. I'll come back. Let us know. Marriage advice from single friends isn't helpful. I don't know about that one.

I mean, I'm taking it with a grain of salt. I mean, it's not always. It's not always bad. Marriage advice from single friends isn't helpful. No, I'm sure sometimes it's helpful. I'm sure a lot of times it's helpful. I'm going to be neutral. I would not go to them as my first person to ask for marriage advice.

Yeah. I just think it's different. It's the same way as going to someone who doesn't, oh, maybe not completely the same way, but like going to someone who doesn't have kids for advice about having kids. It's just not, at least for me, it's from what I've seen. It's not as helpful. Yeah. It's so hard to make this one like a stake in the ground because I'm sure some of it is really helpful, you know?

I'm just going to say for the sake of the game, I'm going to say agree. But just know that I don't agree with that. I was going to say one of my closest friends is single, and she, knows me very, very well. And so she can give advice to me. And she knows like a nice relationship really well, too. And so I can tell her about something. And she's very good at navigating my, like, who I am and how I would probably respond to something. That's true. That's a little bit different than being like, we're having this problem in our relationship and going to them about like marital problems versus like I reacted in the incorrect way. And she can call me out for it. Okay, that's a good

distinction, Addy. That's a very good distinction. I don't really have a strong opinion on this. I know. Like a specific marital problem, I would probably say if you're single, you're not I wouldn't necessarily, there's an advice. Well, just because they also might be like alarmed. They might be like, oh my gosh. Yes, that I've thought of that as well. But then other people in relationships are like, yeah. We've been there.

Yeah. Romance has to be scheduled after having kids. Has to be scheduled? Let's be honest. They're talking about sex. I'm going to say disagree. I was also going to say disagree. But I think it depends on the person.

I'm going to say disagree. But I don't think there's anything. If you're not doing it, schedule it. Schedule it. Yes. Have a conversation about it. If you need to like figure out what days of the week it's going to be or if you're going

to do it, if it's going to be an expectation every night and then discuss it if it's, if you're not feeling it that night. I feel like that's been helpful. Did you say expectation every night? So it's, so what helps. We gave her that advice, Abby. Oh, did we? Did we not?

I think you gave it. Oh, crap. You gave me that advice. See, that's my brother. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, we, yeah, we changed our expectation to every night. It's, we're planning to every night.

And if we're not, that's when we have a discussion about it. Not a discussion that we're going to every night. It's the other way around. I mean, you were a part of that conversation. It's ringing a bell. It is. It's ringing a bell. And you know what?

I love that. You said, I think that's probably good. I think that is probably good. You said. Sorry, if it was three weeks ago, I don't remember anything. It was three weeks ago. before three weeks ago. But I think that's really helpful.

My mind just started working three weeks ago. Because I'm six months postpartum for a concept. Blake said, I don't know. Oh, well, I love the honesty. I said you. You must know. See, Blake is also just difficult. Like, he's like, I'm not going to give you a definitive answer.

Especially if I say it's for the podcast. He's like, why are you asking? Talking about me? He's like, I don't want to talk about it. Does Blake listen to always hear? No. He's the worst. But you want to know what he hassles?

me about listening to his watching his YouTube videos for his work oh yeah I know he has me about that too yeah and I'm like have you listened to always here yet have you listen to a single opposite you're like you're not even in the content brother yeah he's just behind the scene I love it protecting your marriage means setting boundaries with family sometimes I agree yeah yeah I agree yeah I agree I feel like that one is I actually think that's a necessary it's called leave and cleave yeah it's a good little church There you go. Leave and cleave.

I'm not going to explain. I'm just going to leave it there for you guys to chew on. Cleave it. Get your cleaver. Leave it and cleave it. Being a parent makes you more anxious. Okay, I'm going to say agree. But I will say I have my confidence is deeper than it's ever been since becoming a mom.

That's beautiful. That felt so not genuine like that. No, it is beautiful. That felt like she so did not believe me. I do believe it. I agree with you. I would say the same thing. I feel, yeah, okay, so what I would say, sorry.

We've been talking for way too much. I'm like, I need to have my personality and my tone. That's what happened. I'm sorry. Okay, so I was saying I feel like I have experienced new levels of anxiety since pregnancy and children have happened in my life. But I feel like my sense of identity and my confidence has never been deeper. So I don't know that you can, I feel, I know that you can be a very confident person

in experience anxiety. So that's how I feel. But I'm going to say agree. Agree that being a parent makes you more anxious. Yeah, I think just inevitably it does. Honestly, I'm most anxious about the schedule. Gosh, darn it. You'll get out of that.

Yeah, you will. Yeah. Have you felt confident the whole time? No. No. Confidence comes from fumbling the past. You know what I mean? Confidence comes from messing up and figuring it out.

And you're like, I made it through and I can do it now. And I don't feel confident every day. kids have a new way of making you just reevaluate everything. It's good. We need our pride to be humbled. Our pride to be humbled. You don't fully understand your partner until you see them as a parent. I'm going to disagree on that one.

I'm going to disagree with that one as well. I think you can have a completely full marriage without having children. I agree. I understand each other. I agree. I sometimes feel like the default parent, no matter how supportive my partner is. Oh, yeah, I would agree. With littles, I agree.

With babies for sure. Yeah. I think this is lessened, but I will also agree, but I feel like it has lessened significantly. As they getting older, for sure. Yeah. And I also feel like Matt now is like slowly starting to become the default parent. Yeah. I feel like since we have like our routine, it's just like default. And then like, because I wake up like with Breaelle and feed her and breastfeeding and that thing. And both of your spouses go to work. Yeah. And so on Saturday. Like I'm like, oh, like you'll wake up with a monitor on and give her a bottle in the morning on the weekend. So that means I'm the default parent on the weekdays. We have a very unique situation with us. both being home.

Yeah, I know Caleb could fully handle it all if I was to go out of town or something. But yeah, just normally with little, I'm going to be the default. And depending on what happens, too, like if our kids are hurt, they want me. Oh yeah. When I'm little, when they're little, I want them, I want to be the default parent. You eventually do become your own mother. No, I don't think so. Disagree.

Oh, you know what? Agree and then disagree. Abby what? Because I think at first I started noticing that I was doing things that my mom did. And then I was like, oh, I want to do some of the. the things I want to do differently. Yeah. Then I switched them.

So I think it comes out because it's just what you know. You like default to your, you like default to your, what are the, your settings, your default settings. That's actually like proven by, like, science. Yeah. Exactly. So I guess, yeah, I would agree. And then I was like.

Agree, but then you can also reevaluate and change it if you need to. Yeah. I have no clue. Not a single idea. I feel like I do a lot of things. Yeah. I feel like it'll come out way. I feel like my mom's better at it than I am right now.

I feel like your mom is very nurturing and sweet. It is. I can't work on that. You're nurturing and sweet. Oh my gosh. When you're with Brielle, it melts me. Sure. You're such a good mom. I'm going to work on me.

You are. Traveling with kids isn't worth the chaos. No, I disagree. Disagree. It's good. It's good for everybody. Someone thinks that. I feel like now it's going to be,

our next flight with Brielle is in June. You're about to enter the hardest season. Yeah. Eight months to 18 months. Her three month flight, all the best thing on the world. Yeah, the craziest flight when Augie was 13 months old. It was wild. I felt like I needed to write everybody as sorry.

I remember when you came home from that one. You were like, fool. You just have free snacks you can't know to everyone on the plane. That did age me about a year. No. Using cloth divers won't save the environment. I mean, I disagree. I don't know. I don't know, but I will not be using it. It probably will save the environment, but will I do them? No. There's already enough poop in my washing.

machine. It's true. One of my kids pooped on the couch cushions today and I just can't imagine that being an everyday thing going in my washing machine. I know. No, I won't, nope. No. PDA is acceptable in front of family. I strongly agree. Is it acceptable? I agree. It is acceptable. Is it still weird with my family? Yeah, sometimes it's weird. Be honest, do we have

too much PDA? Too much? No. Okay. Too much. A lot? Yeah. Yeah. other day we were like at the end of recording and they're just like both sitting here i'm sitting there like asking them work questions and that's just like kissing abby's belly with baby i was like fair fair but i'm like we're not that much pd i'm like look at you right now wow and then and then we figured out that you've never seen blake and i kiss i actually don't think i have because i also missed their wedding i want to be my chance to see his kiss on the wedding day i just had griffin yeah it's

Okay. I wear the pants in my household. Wait, do you think Caleb and I are a PDA? No. Sometimes I want to be. I feel like you're more PDA than Caleb. I know. I'm like,

kiss me. I used to be insecure about it about not being, like that Blake and I weren't PDA. And then I realized that I don't want to be. It's okay. Yeah. That was when we were in the first like year of our marriage. I was like more insecure about it.

I feel like we both lean towards physical touches being our love language. And I think that's the biggest, like, thing about it. I feel like Matt is also just very affectionate. Sometimes I'm like, I know, but he wants to see this. I wear the pants in my household.

I disagree with that. I disagree. I don't know. What do you think? Disagree? I feel like I'm the most in the middle here. I think you're in the middle. Yeah.

I feel like you guys have your roles and you own your roles really well. Yeah. Which I think we all probably do. I would say we just got a leg in the pants. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I let Blake take the, like he's

the one who makes a final. decisions about things and he's the leader of the household. Yeah, I would agree. I'm going to ask Matt, but I feel like Matt would say that I wear the pants. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. Okay, thanks. I don't think that's true. I feel like we both got a leg in a leg and a leg. Like if Matt were to say that you wear the pants, I don't think that's true. Yeah. Do you think he wears pants? Yeah, I don't think you, you don't make any decisions like without Matt. No, I don't make any decisions about Matt. I don't feel like he really makes decisions about you. Yeah. I mean, you're just, you just, you don't think. You're just, you don't think.

It's pretty even. Caleb and I don't make decisions without each other either. Yeah. Caleb is definitely the leader of our house, though, for sure. I'm in the middle. Yeah. I know the code to my husband's phone. Yeah, I agree.

Yeah. It's a cross pattern. Oh, shoot. She said it to the internet. Blabe that. Having kids made me lose a part of myself. Whoa, we just went so serious. I'm sorry.

Having kids made me lose. a part of myself. I actually am going to say agree. I fundamentally changed and I didn't realize it until honestly like right like the past month. Like this all of motherhood like did change me. But it's not something I grieve like I used to. Like when I first had my first kid I was like I'm not even excited about the things that I once was excited about. Like I don't even know. Like I felt lost and confused in those like first weeks postpartum. Definitely feel like way more grounded. in my role as a mom and like where how this fits into my new lifestyle like all these things but um yeah i feel like there's parts of me that were lost i would probably i think a lot of selfishness was also lost

that i think it was good to shed i would agree yeah i feel like losing myself as a mom in a good way like i felt like a caterpillar that got put up in my cocoon and then i shed my skin and my wings have been flying baby and you know the confidence is so fake let's right you're flying high no i'm What I really mean by that is like, I think becoming a mom, it has made me want to be more creative. It's made me want to be more patient. Like it's made me want to grow in a lot of these areas where before it was good things that I've shed, not like bad things that I've lost. And I think a lot of times people are like, oh, I've, like, of course we go through seasons when in the fresh postpartum phase where we're not as interested in things that we like. Yeah, that's crazy.

You just actually don't have the capacity to. Yeah, it's like that has to go. It has to go. And it's for a season. And, like, there was a season where I almost brushing my teeth went. Okay. Okay? Because your capacity is just so maxed out.

Okay. So it's like, of course, I'm not thinking about, like, sewing or doing, picking up a hobby, you know? But as time goes on and you become a mom, there's this battle of, like, not allowing motherhood to become your full identity. And then there's this part of you that's like, oh, I want to, like, find the other things that I am interested in. And it's become, like, a really fun process of, like, you know, like, a really fun process of, like figuring out what I do find joy in and things that. And I never would have given that any

attention before I had kids. So I feel like there's this beauty in it where it's like, I'm excited to like find different things I'm interested in and like creativity. There's a new motivation to grow yourself as an individual. I would think that's a great way to say it, Abby. I do feel like I'm less creative though since you've become your mom. I don't have that circle anymore. Well, it's like you miss it and so you want to like flex the muscle. It's like I want to do those things again. Yeah, just feels so unnatural. One thing I picked up recently, I feel like is being a good friend. Like I don't know why.

I think it's because so many people like supported me postpartum that I'm like, I just want to support everyone. You've been supporting everybody. And like trying to be a good friend because that's like what was shown to me. And that's been kind of a fun thing. Being a good friend has been fun for me. Not canceling, showing up to things, supporting people, doing things with people. You always show up at it.

You do. You give you grief about it. I just leave early. Yeah, it's funny. She's on time, though. So she's spending the same time there as we are. It's true. We're so late.

Front loading it. Yeah, exactly. I miss my pre-pregnancy body. Oh, yeah, I agree to that. That's okay. We're there. I think it's unrealistic. I love my postpartum body, but I also can miss my six pack.

I'm just kidding. Gosh. I look back at it. You guys, I'm becoming an A-hole. That's what's happening here. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, no, I just look back at it.

I used to be like, Matt, don't look at that. I don't know her. That's cheating. It's like me just two years ago. I know. But I'm like, no, now I'm like, I just look back and I'm like, oh, she was so hot. I like have a new feeling about my pre-regnancy body and I'm just like, never forget that I used to look like this.

I know I'll never get back to like exactly like that. But I have gone through a period of like losing 10 pounds before I was pregnant ever. And so it kind of gives me motivation that like you can get back. there. Like, you can't get all the way back there, but, like, you can put in the work and get clothes. Yeah. I actually felt the best ever in my skin, 18 months postpartum with CJ. Like, I felt the best ever. I felt strong. I felt like I was really confident. And then I got pregnant, like, literally that month. So, how it happens. That's fun. But I felt really strong after having Augie. So it's just different. Yeah. Segs feels different after birth. Yeah, for a couple months.

Yep. We actually just got back into it feeling good. Yeah, I think for couple months. Yeah, I agree. I feel like that is pretty much a given. Everybody. What can you expect? It has seen some trauma. No big deal.

I am the fun parent. No, I disagree. I disagree. Yeah, no, I disagree. She's six months old, but I'll say disagree. Blake, like, throws her up in the air and stuff. I don't do that. So cute.

You guys, I literally just so often, I'll just, like, look outside and see Matt and the boys playing in the pool, and I'm like, I am so. glad I gave Matt two little friends. Oh, that's sweet. He's having a genuine blast right now. That's great. Or one of our friends came over to bring a meal and she's like, I was upstairs taking a bath. Matt was playing outside with the kids and she's like, Matt was just having a great time.

That's so fun. I love that. I am glad that Matt just has so much fun. Yeah, Matt genuinely, like, I have a limit to like the imaginative play. Like I kind of reached my partner and like, all right. I think we've kept out. Maybe it's my creativity that's lacking. Matt is bursting with it, and they are really having great time.

It's so sweet. I love that. They definitely go to Matt. They even tell me sometimes they're like, Mom, chase me. I'm like, um, daddy's home. God, come here. They want to. Well, that was our last one, guys.

Wow, that one was deep. That was silly. That was serious. That was everything. That's great. Very grateful for you guys and that we get to do motherhood together because, gosh, it's way better doing it together. For sure.

I love you guys. So I'm grateful for you guys. Thank you to Addie and Abby for joining Unplanned. This is your reminder, guys, to like, review, subscribe, comment, all the things. And also, please check us out on Always Here. That launches a new episode every Friday. And wherever you watch your podcast, it is there. So you can count on that.

And we love to have you. And thanks so much for tuning in this episode. Yeah. Thank you very much having us. And peace out, dudes.