The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - Surviving the Black Swan Murder with Eva Benefield

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

Eva Benefield shares her extraordinary story of loss, survival, and finding a way forward after her family became the center of the infamous “Black Swan Murder” case. She opens up about losing bot...h of her parents at a young age, her complicated relationship with her stepmother Ashley, taking the stand in her father’s trial, and navigating grief while the world watched. Plus, Eva shares how humor, running, writing, and building Ghost Cowboy helped her create a life beyond the headlines. Eva's insta: @evathefreakindiva Link to Eva's memoir: https://www.amazon.com/Ghost-Girl-Surviving-Murder_A-Memoir/dp/1668043351/ Zocdoc: Ready to be seen? Check that appointment off your to-do list with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/unplanned #sponsored NOBL: NOBL gives you real travel peace of mind — security, design, and convenience all in one. Head to https://NOBLTravel.com for 46% off your entire order! #NOBL #ad Vinted: Ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money? Download the Vinted app for free and start listing. There are no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. https://vinted.com Osea: Go to https://oseamalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code UNPLANNED. Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify/ Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Mascara is restocking September 15th! Sign up here for updates: https://www.biswell-beauty.com/ Chapters: 00:57 - Losing my mom at 14 04:34 - Meeting Ashley 07:12 - My father's murder 08:04 - Finding out my dad was dating a 23 year old 13:36 - Getting married after 13 days 14:20 - Life with Ashley 24:50 - Ballet company 32:22 - Escalation to the murder 39:17 - Murder and the aftermath 57:01 - Media attention 01:00:43 - True crime industry 01:03:24 - Testifying in my dad's murder trial 01:09:05 - sentencing 01:12:28 - trial updates 01:16:04 - Response to my book, Ghost Girl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some? The future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion dollar swings. The end of jobs or the end of human struggle. We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise,
Starting point is 00:00:24 we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. My mom died at 14, nine months later, my dad remarried a 23-year-old, and then five years later he was shot and killed by her. Today we sat down with Eva Benefield, the stepdaughter of the infamous Black Swan murderer. She had three loaded guns in the house. One was in a hamper on the floor with a toddler walking around. Oh gosh. My uncle had texted me, and I said, is he dead? And they said, yes. I was like, did Ashley do it? I looked at my sister and I said, I don't have parents anymore.
Starting point is 00:00:55 Eva's father, Doug, married former ballerina Ashley Byers, after a 13-day, courtship. Her mom and her followed me into the hallway and they said, your dad, he killed your mom. He's going to kill you. He's going to kill us all. As the murder case made national headlines, actually accused Doug of domestic violence, leaving Eva to take the stand in her own father's murder trial. I saw autopsy pictures of my dad that I was not supposed to see, so I couldn't sleep for weeks after that. Eva sets the record straight about the complicated years leading up to her dad's death and what happened when she finally faced her stepmom in court, all on today's episode. So for people that don't know your story, would you mind taking us back to like that day when you were 14 waiting for your mom to pick you up from school?
Starting point is 00:01:38 Yeah. So I had just started my freshman year. It was December. It was on a Wednesday. And I just, my mom dropped me off for school that morning. I was being a brat. I kind of got into it with her about I don't even know what at this point. slam the car door and then after school she was going to come pick me up she didn't answer the phone
Starting point is 00:02:01 but that was kind of typical she was really bad at being on her phone and so i waited in the car line and then i had an old friend from my middle school or elementary school who i just reconnected with me because we both transferred from private to public i said hey can you can your mom take me home because my mom isn't answering and she was like yeah no problem so we went to my house and all the lights were off which is still again normal because my mom hated over overhead lights. So I knocked on the door. I didn't have my key for whatever reason. She didn't answer. I thought maybe she's just asleep because she had been up all night switching her summer closet to her winter closet because, you know, she was just like fashion-eista meticulous about her closet and her
Starting point is 00:02:42 clothes. And I said she was up late last night. She's just asleep. We'll come back. So we went and got dinner and then came back. And there, my parents' room was on the first floor to the left of the front door behind bushes so I just crawled behind the bushes and I saw something in the window so I went across the street and got my neighbor and he broke the door down and then I have a golden sully who he's the sweetest golden I mean you all have a golden too so you know they just love balls yeah and um he my neighbor came went inside came back out and said hey you need to come get solely because he's about to bite my hand off so I went and I grabbed sully and I saw my mom and then I brought sully back out and you know my neighbor came out and just kind of shook his head.
Starting point is 00:03:25 And then I knew that she was gone. Then I went across the street and did not want to see any of that happening. Gosh. Yeah. So they was protecting her. I know. It's the cutest thing. He went through, I mean, he lived with my dad naturally.
Starting point is 00:03:41 He lived with me at one point, kind of bounced around, saw my mom passing away. Like, he's seen more than I have, so I wish he could write a book because then his book would be very interesting. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Wow. I can't even imagine. And something that stood out to me reading your story was that you and your mom had been in a disagreement that morning.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Yeah. And I feel like that is like one of those worst case scenario type of things where you're like, if only I knew that those were like met last moments. Every night before we go to bed, we have to say, good night, I love you. Even if we're in a disagreement, it doesn't matter. Like that's like Abby's rule because of like, yeah, you just never want to be. I don't know. I think for you, it's your big fear. Same with a phone call. Like if you end a phone call, like, it's that same type of thing. Yeah. Oh, I do the same thing with everyone now too. I can't let an argument go unresolved. Even if it isn't, I'm like, all right, can we just put it on pause for a second?
Starting point is 00:04:36 I'm like, love you, good night. But yeah, it was kind of the worst case scenario. And then it ate me alive forever until I finally just realized, you know, she knew I was being a typical teenage girl. It's 14. Just, you know, being a brat. But. Yeah. And it's like that your relationship was not categorized by those like final moments. It was your everything up to that point. Yeah. And your parents at this time, your parents were separated, right? Or they had been divorced at this point?
Starting point is 00:05:06 They were, my parents were happily married all the way up until the end. Okay. Yeah. They both had marriages. I know my mom did for a fact. I'm pretty sure my dad was married before my mom. But yeah, both very happily married. And then, yeah, I mean, it was just me and my dad after that.
Starting point is 00:05:22 and he nine months later married Ashley, which was, she was 23 at the time. And I did not know. Which was nine years older than you, right? Eight years older than you. Oh, eight years. Yeah, eight years older than me. Yeah, that was crazy. I found out that they were dating on a Friday and then two days later they were actually
Starting point is 00:05:41 married the entire time, but I found out they were married. And then, yeah, that was just kind of she moved in right after. And it was crazy. I had a friend move in also shortly after that she lived with me things were fine at first and then after about six months she kind of started showing her true colors and then it was they had a baby she left my dad started making allegations against my dad they were going to get a divorce and then they were reconciling and they were getting divorced again and they were separated and then my dad moved down in florida and they were doing better and then five years down the road in 2020
Starting point is 00:06:17 she had decided they were going to reconcile and they were going to move to Maryland. And I mean, so much happened within those five years too. I mean, she was making the most crazy allegations. Saying that he was poisoning her, right? Poisoning her, beating her, beating me. I mean, I had to move out at one point from my dad's house when I was 17 for six months. I moved him with my brother. Because of those allegations?
Starting point is 00:06:42 She called CPS and she said that I was in danger. so my dad had to get a full investigation done on him. Obviously, I was not in danger. And I, you know, I told them that from the get, I was like, y'all, this girl is crazy. She's clearly trying to get her way. And just every judge, every detective, every single person that she tried to, like, make these claims to, they were like, no, Doug is, he's not, there's no evidence that he's doing any of these things. So she was just trying to, like, exhaust every avenue, get her way in the custody battle kind of show that he was crazy and she was only fit. She was the only fit person to be the single parent.
Starting point is 00:07:18 And then obviously got denied. But yeah, so they were going to move to Maryland. They were packing up the U-Haul, and she had three loaded guns in the house. One was in a hamper on the floor with a toddler walking around. Oh, gosh. Pretty sure it was a Glock, too. So no safety. Could have been, I mean, like, what right-minded person lets that, you know?
Starting point is 00:07:40 I don't even know what a Glock is, actually. Just a type of gun that does not have. have a safety on it. So you can literally pick it up and fire it. There's no kind of... In a hamper? In a hamper on the floor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:51 And then one in a backpack in a closet and one in the pantry. And they were also packing the house. And my whole thing is like, look, I think guns obviously are always in the safe if you have them. And safe is one of the first things to go in the U-Haul. And why were the guns out, you know? So I think it was premeditated. But yeah, she waited.
Starting point is 00:08:11 And then she cornered my dad in a room. and shot him and then he died. Okay, that's insane. I want to rewind for just one second because when you casually mentioned that your dad married a 23 year old, 30 year age gap, right? Yes. How were you, what was your reaction to your dad marrying someone 30 years younger back when you were 15?
Starting point is 00:08:35 So I, when I found out they were dating, it was by accident on Friday. He was picking me up from school. He was on a conference call and he was hard of hearing because, he was a Navy pilot for so many years that he just couldn't hear anything. So we had it on speaker really loud. And they said, Doug, are you going to bring your girlfriend to the conference next weekend? And I kind of was like, what girlfriend? You know? And I was 15. I had seen him up late texting, you know, sending hard emojis, whatever. So I knew something was going on. And I was like, what girlfriend? He said, oh, they got me confused with somebody. And I was like, no, that doesn't seem
Starting point is 00:09:10 right have you who are they talking about and um he was like we you know she's just a friend nothing more i said have you all gone to dinner and he said yes i said have y'all kissed and he was like yes and i said all right that is dating and my 15 year old brain that is dating dinner and kissing like that's it and he was like okay yeah i'm dating somebody and so at first i was like okay let me just give it the benefit of the doubt i trust my dad he's you know we are so close and he i met her the next day it was shock factor that she was so young. And I mean, she was very pretty. So I was kind of like, okay, this is like, I'm super close with my sister-in-law who's
Starting point is 00:09:51 around the same age. So I was like, all right, you know, maybe this is like not going to be that weird of an adjustment. And then the next day, I was upstairs getting ready to go surfing with my friend. I was getting all my things. At the time, I couldn't drive without another adult with a license in the car. So I was my dad was going to drive me with Ashley in the car obviously and he came upstairs and he was like, hey, but we need to have a family discussion downstairs in the living room. I said, well, no, no family discussion. Because this isn't a family. He said, yeah, we need to have a discussion. I said, look, I don't, I'm not interested in talking about it anymore. I know you're dating her and good for you. I'm going to trust you on that one, but I'm just not ready to be that involved in it yet. And I said the only thing that I would come downstairs to have a family discussion. for is if you said you were going to propose. And then as soon as those words came out of my mouth, he goes, we're married. So I got in the car and I got them to get in the back seat of my two-door
Starting point is 00:10:48 deep wrangler and I drove myself to my friend's house and then they took the car home. And that was that. That's such a power move. Like you're the one who's having to act like an adult because you're just, you know, getting thrown into this crazy situation. This woman that you don't even know is marrying your dad and you're like, okay, I'm, I'm taking action. It sounds like that's the type of person you are, though, that you just take action. Kind of, yes. I think I just shut, my brain just shuts off. And I'm just kind of like, all right, what's the first step? And I actually saw a quote the other day. I think it was like, an idiot in motion is better than a smart person at rest or something. And I was like, look, I might not make the best decisions at all times, but I'm always like taking the next
Starting point is 00:11:32 decision, you know. Wait, I want to put that like on my bathroom mirror. Yeah. Emotion is better than a smart person at rest. Something like that's great. Yeah. You're like that's what I gathered. Yeah. It's kind of like you can outwork them, you know. Like you, you don't have to be that smart to win if you outwork, you know, if you if you outwork everybody else, you can still be stupid and succeed. Yeah. I mean, it's like you have to have the initiative and the drive and if, you know, really smart person that has all of the, the, what is it? What is it? I guess a really, a really not, I don't want to say not smart, but a less fortunate person with the odds against them that's just constantly trying.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Like that's going to build their drive, you know, versus somebody who's very privileged. And that's what I see a lot now growing up. I had all the odds against me at one point and I worked really hard and I got out of all of these situations and I, you know, I built something for myself versus I know people that, you know, Charleston parents are very wealthy. Some old money in Charleston, right? money just you know they have the trust fund set up i've heard people say i don't care what i graduate for i have my trust fund that i get when i'm 25 i heard some that some out of somebody's mouth one time
Starting point is 00:12:42 and i was like okay yeah i don't have that so we're completely different but then you know a few years down the road they're not doing that great because they never had any fire lit under the for lack of better term so i mean that's kind of like what i learned but yeah always just like making the next decision. Just keep it going. So that's when I got in the car. I was just like, it was awkward car ride too because a two-door Jeep Wrangler, they were smushed in the back seat. I was driving to Al Palms. Just like, all right, I got to get out of here right now. You're currently 25, right? Yes. And when all this happened, you know, your dad marrying Ashley, she was 23, so you're now older than she was when she married your dad. Yeah. How does that make you feel?
Starting point is 00:13:26 I'm like, I don't even think now I want to get married. I'm nowhere near. And I think at this point they were married with a child. I'm like, oh my God. Like, I can't even manage myself. I don't know what was in her mind to think, yeah, I'm 23 and I can handle a 50-year-old husband and a 14-year-old girl. Her reasoning was that she taught ballet classes to younger, early teenage year girls.
Starting point is 00:13:54 So she was like, oh, I have a. experience with them. So I'm going to hand, I'm going to well equipped to handle Eva. No, I don't think so. So yeah, I don't know. I don't know what person the right mind would think that that's a good idea. But do you think your dad went through with the marriage so quickly? Because this happened within 13 days. They met, started dating, got engaged and married all within 13 days. Right. Yeah. Yep. Do you think that was for religious reasons? I think partially, yeah. Um, I also think, I I mean, that's like the only thing in my brain that stuck out because he was very devout Christian. And so I think that that was kind of his driving factor with all of that.
Starting point is 00:14:35 But then I don't know. I think she claimed to be devout Christian too. So she just kind of went along with it and was like, oh, let's get married. So, you know, we can start doing things that we can't do before we're married. And she, yeah, I think that was a big, big driving factor for sure. What was life in that household like at the time? Because you and a friend were living there. She, Ashley and your dad, newly married, also just met.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Everyone's adjusting. You're also grieving you and your dad. And then she becomes pregnant shortly after two. What's that household like? I couldn't tell you. It was like the most crazy kind of me and my friend were, I was just trying to get through school and normal teenage things. Like, you know, I had a crush on a boy and there's friend drunk.
Starting point is 00:15:24 and I also have lacrosse practice that I'm trying to try out for the team this year, you know. So that was kind of, we were both trying to manage our own things and stay on top of our academics and our extracurriculars. And then I'd come home and she was, you know, sitting on the kitchen counter in a brawn underwear. So it was just kind of like a really weird adjustment. And she was, it was fine when she was just trying to be friendly and adjusted. but then six months down the road when she started feeling like she had a little bit more of a power trip and she was trying to discipline that's when things kind of hit the fan because she was trying to ground me or take my car away I'm I was like you're barely legal to drive at this point you can't
Starting point is 00:16:08 you can't take my keys for me okay the bra and underwear thing was that was that like some sort of power trip move to be like I'm the boss I'm I call the shots like because I think about like guys like some guys like in the locker room might just like I just like walk around and just want to be like, I'm the alpha. Yeah, yeah. I never played football, so I wouldn't really know. But that's just like my idea. I think partially, yes.
Starting point is 00:16:32 I also know that she had, I want to say it was histrionic personality disorder, which is childlike behaviors, but then also over sexualizing themselves. So which she did both of those things. She had a teddy bear that she would bring around and like on trips and stuff. Oh, wow. So it was like textbook. Yes. Yeah, like textbook, kind of weird behaviors. And then also over sexualizing herself.
Starting point is 00:16:52 in, you know, she would always... Why the sexualization with the child, like, teddy bear? I don't know. That's just like, that's a legit personality disorder. Yeah, I think those are two of the characteristics. I also think she weaponized incompetence, so she would act kind of like, oh, I'm so young, and, you know, I don't know how to do things, and Doug take care of me, and then she wouldn't get her way, and all of a sudden she's, you know, make sure her bra's a little more out than usual.
Starting point is 00:17:17 She was kind of making sure, oh, I, she always made it a point in the room, like, oh, I'm packing. Like I have a gun in my pants. I have a gun in my bra. So it's just kind of like weird, a weird power trip where she was like, she had all this confidence, but then she also acted stupid in a way. She was like the t-shirt girl at the Trump rallies, right? Yeah. That's so interesting. So can you fill us in on that? Like she, she, she kind of bragged about it a lot, which I always found very weird that she was like, oh, Trump and I are, you know, he was, I worked for him for a little bit. And I, you know, he was like my friend and he called me you know baby girl or something like that she just like made it a point i was just kind of like this is weird i don't know i i was 16 15 16 i was like i don't really
Starting point is 00:18:04 care about politics right now like cool dude like i don't care it seems like she kind of made the house like volatile like you know ups and downs but then in reading your your book too like learning about the way that she just completely disregarded any type of like privacy for you and like any boundary whatsoever. It's like she just violated. Yeah. She took down pictures of my mom in my room. She went,
Starting point is 00:18:32 she was like, I want to paint everything in the kitchen black. So they painted the cabinets black. It was a really dark house. It didn't need the extra black features in there because it was already dark enough. And I don't know, she just kind of like took everything,
Starting point is 00:18:45 stripped it all down and made it just like a really uncomfortable space from her personality. Then also how she just, her design choices. and her interference with my personal space. Yeah. And she read your journals too, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Yeah, I wrote something about, you know, I hated her, you know, I didn't like her. And she read that and that was a huge fight between her and my dad and me. How did you know that she read your journal? Because my dad came in and he was like, well, you wrote in your journal that you don't like Ashley. I'm like, well, where did you get that information from? You clearly read my journal. We kind of skipped something for a little bit there because I, realized all of this happened right after your dad told you that he wasn't going to remarry. He wasn't
Starting point is 00:19:28 going to, you know, have kids anymore. That whole conversation took place the night that your mom died, right? Yeah, he got the next flight home because he was out of town. And I woke up at three in the morning and we kind of sat there and he was like, you know, I'm here for you. I'm going to be your mom and your dad now. If you need anything from me, just whatever you need, you know, it can be anything. Just come to me about it. And I don't want there to be any dishonesty or, you know, however you're feeling. I've dealt with grief before. So he really made sure that, you know, I was taking care of any, I knew that I was going
Starting point is 00:20:01 to be taken care of it, whatever capacity I needed. And then he was like, my first question was, are you going to get remarried? And he said no. I mean, it was probably three in the morning. And he had just had a long flight from wherever he was. And so I think he was exhausted and I was half asleep. But I don't know why that was my first question. And he said no.
Starting point is 00:20:21 He was like, I'm not thinking about that right now, no. And then that was a lie, I guess. So you, you having such a tumultuous relationship with your stepmom is so vastly different than the relationship you had, and I'm guessing, still have with your sister-in-law. Yeah. Because she moved in shortly after the death of your mom, right? Yeah. To kind of like help run the household. She, my brother was deployed.
Starting point is 00:20:48 They were, they had already sold their house. She was looking for it to rent somewhere else in the house. the Charleston area. So it just kind of made sense because my dad was traveling a lot. And she was like, I was getting to the age where I needed to start learning how to go grocery shopping, how to clean things properly, how to, you know, and just to have a young female around was really helpful. So we became very close. And yeah, I, when my dad was one of his kind of talking points when it came to why he thought Ashley was a good fit was you need a young female around to kind of, you know, show you the ropes on how to be a young woman. And I said, no, I have my sister-in-law.
Starting point is 00:21:26 I don't need that role filled because I have her. So it was super weird because then also there was a little like two-week period of time where Ashley moved in and my sister-in-law hadn't moved out yet. And that was just kind of, I don't even really, I think I blacked out for those two weeks because, I mean, Ashley just moved in and my sister-in-law was frantically trying to find somewhere to rent at that point because this was all this was sprung on this so fast and that was because your sister-in-law's husband your your brother was deployed overseas right he was either deployed or he was at a base up somewhere and just traveled he was gone a lot so but yes he was gone and she had she needed to find somewhere for them to live for him to come home too so she moved out really fast after that
Starting point is 00:22:10 What was their relationship like? I don't even really remember. I remember my sister-in-law was close with my neighbors because my neighbors were close with my mom and my dad. But, you know, Miss Melody, she lived across the street. And she was my mom's best friend or one of them. And so then my sister-in-law kind of, you know, went over to her a lot. And they hung out a lot. And I remember at one point my sister-in-law was over there talking to Melody.
Starting point is 00:22:37 And they were talking about Ashley moving in and how we were. weird it was and it was Ashley tried to cook dinner for us at one point and she was a little bit younger than my sister-in-law too so it was just kind of super weird and I felt like my sister-in-law's very humble and not somebody to try and give too much direction or anything so she was just kind of I think quiet and respectful and Ashley was just kind of in your face you know I'm the new girl around here that's kind of the vibe that I got from them and then my sister-in-law moved out and we never really talked about it after that it was just kind of like this weird elephant in the room for a while and it was never addressed.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Did you know anything about Ashley's life prior to like her moving into your house? No, nothing other than she told me that she also dealt with losing a parent, although her dad never died. He just had another family in California. So she was like, well, she tried to relate to me a lot because she was like my mom was super depressed after my dad moved out and I was basically, you know, I was raising my mom at one point or, you know, taking care of my mom. And it was always a sob story, you know, she was always starting to cry. And I was just kind of saying, like, okay, this is completely different. But then she also, I knew that she was married before. I don't know if I found that out when I, when she was living with us or until, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:00 the trial, but she was engaged before. And that's all I really knew, other than her teaching ballet classes or she was a ballerina or something i don't know thank you to zocococ for sponsoring this portion of today's episode i have ADHD and so i use zocococ to schedule my medicine refill appointments because how it usually happens is i realize like the day of oh shoot i'm out of medicine i should do a same-day appointment with zoc doc doc and then i go on the app i schedule it for the same day they always have a provider available and they just make it so quick so easy zok doc doc lets you serve you serve and compare local in-network doctors. They have more than 150,000 providers with 200-plus specialties across all 50 states.
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Starting point is 00:25:12 that appointment off your to-do list. That's ZOCDOC.com slash unplanned. So the ballet element does become a big part of the story, at least how it was packaged in the media. Yeah. Yeah. Because her and your dad were going to start a ballet company together. Yeah, it was going to be the Charleston International Ballet Company, which I think that, Had it been not her doing all of the kind of leading of that, it would have been a great concept because they were hiring ballerinas that were kind of cut. You know, there's this one certain look that everybody wants for all the high, pristine ballerinas, you know, and so it's kind of cutthroat when it comes to auditioning and stuff.
Starting point is 00:25:56 And there's a lot of other women that are excluded. And so they were going to take those women who were still incredible athletes, incredible ballerinas and hire them. So I think that it really had a, it was a great. idea but then she took over so they started this thing my dad found all the investors you know he was a great entrepreneur and business he just knew how to start a business if he had a good idea for it so he kind of pulled everything together started it for her because that was all she wanted and then she became I guess the CEO or the COO technically the vibe that I got from my dad it was the equivalent of giving
Starting point is 00:26:31 like a five-year-old crayons to like color at the table so they're not loud you know like iPad time We will kind of just to shut them up for a little bit because that's all. I think my dad just wanted her to be kind of busy or feel busy while she was, which is another component I think of her personality disorder because it made her feel entitled to be like, well, I'm the boss around here. You know, I can say and do, again, 23 did not have the knowledge to run a business at that capacity. I mean, they were talking a lot of money investors and it was a huge deal.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Like millions, right? Yeah. I could not. I'm 25 now running a business. I'm like, I don't even know how to do it half the time. I'm like Googling things all the time, pulling my hair out. Like, how do I do this? And she just thought she could run the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:27:16 And it went downhill very quickly. So, I mean, and then again, once my dad, he hired somebody that actually knew how to run a ballet and knew how to, because they were talking about a reality show at one point. So he pulled someone down from New York. And he was like, right, this is this lady is going to run this now. you can kind of take a beat for a set because we have to make sure, you know, the investors are getting their returns. The baller the ballerinas are getting paid for. Yeah. Ashley didn't like that, that she was kind of getting somebody to take over.
Starting point is 00:27:49 And I think that's one of the reasons that she left and disfowed herself. And because the day that she disfowed herself was the day that she left a note on the bed for my dad. So she was pregnant at the time. And she said she had been in Florida a lot with her mom because my dad was traveling a good bit and really busy. she was having a terrible pregnancy. So she went to go get taken care of by her mother. And then I came home one day all of her stuff was gone, which she had been out of the house already.
Starting point is 00:28:16 So I thought it was weird that all of her stuff had just disappeared. Yeah. And I thought maybe her car got stolen. I called my dad. He started calling the cops. And then I found the note. And that's the day that she left my dad. And then she publicly disavowed herself from the ballet.
Starting point is 00:28:31 How do you publicly disavow yourself? Posted on Facebook. That's what she did. Yeah. I disavowed myself from this ballet. Yeah, maybe like an Instagram post or something. And that was because she was mad that your dad hired someone who actually knew how to run a ballet. I think that was part of it.
Starting point is 00:28:48 I really do. Because I mean, I never really, I didn't read the letter. I don't know, you know, I never heard her talk about it. But I think she was really just did not like somebody else coming and taking over her position. Did you overhear them fighting up before this all happened? Or was it, we kind of just kept in the dark on everything? kind of kept in the dark on everything. I knew if there was an argument because 95% of the time I was the topic of discussion or somehow I was involved.
Starting point is 00:29:15 And I think it was Ashley was a little bit jealous of me and my dad's relationship. So she would always pick fights with my dad about me, which shoved a wedge in between me and my dad. Obviously, there was just a lot of tension. But I mean, for the most part, yeah, I think, I don't know. She just that was one of definitely one of the reasons. Did she ever like want you to call her mom? No. I don't think she ever did request that.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Okay. I remember my dad accidentally called her Renee one time, which was my mom's name. That was fun. Why was that fun? I thought it was hilarious because I was, it was right after my mom died. I was like, finally my dad's showing some sort of grief. He kind of, he was stoic the whole time and he really did hold it together. But yeah, it felt kind of good that she just.
Starting point is 00:30:04 came was prancing around and that put her in her place really quick because she I mean that made her so mad and at that point we were in a lot of arguments her and I so to have her just kind of like hey remember there's still a grieving 15 year old and the mom has a huge you know presence in the household still so I don't know what are some of those other arguments that you had I know you already told us about her taking your mom's picture down in your bedroom the picture well yeah so that was The pictures were gone. That really didn't cause an argument. I was more just kind of like, this is so weird.
Starting point is 00:30:39 I went to my dad, and he just kind of brushed it off. And this was actually, it was funny because it was in court too. This is something, I think I had to testify or it was brought up in one of the things. Maybe she was testifying. But she had made these shadow boxes with seashells glued into them. And the Bible verse is written on the back. And I have a gazillion seashells. I don't need them glued in frames in my.
Starting point is 00:31:04 room and there was multiple of them so I needed one for I had a rose that my from my mom's funeral that I had dried and I needed to put it in a shadow box and I didn't want to go to the store and get one so I just used one of the seashell ones and she saw that when I'd like taken it apart and put the the rose in there instead and she went to my dad I mean sobbing crying hyperventilating and came my dad came upstairs and he was like you really upset Ashley and she was just kind of like sniffling behind him and he was like you need to apologize he needed to put the seashell back in the box and I just was kind of like this is a very big reaction for something so little yeah I don't know and it was still I thought it was just weird even at the time
Starting point is 00:31:50 that her writing was still on the back the Bible verses was still on the back like another piece of her little craft was there that I could appreciate but I just switched the things out you know So I don't know. I was like, well, if anything, it was me trying to combine the two, I guess. And it's from your mom's funeral. Yeah. Like, how are you going to get mad about that? But I don't know. So that was a big thing. And then that's when I, the girl that lived with us at the time, she was about to go to Indiana for a church camp. And I wasn't going to go. And then that was the turning point. I think Ashley was like, well, Eva needs to go to. You know, there's something wrong with her or something. So they forced me to go. I was having a
Starting point is 00:32:31 panic attack about going and she offered me a volume which caused another like I was like I'm 16 I don't need a volume for a panic attack and I went to my dad and I was like she's offering me drugs you know so I don't know it's just constant very high emotion tension at what point were you thinking that there might be a chance that your stepmom would kill your dad I never really thought that it would come to that I knew I told my dad at one point that he needs to leave her just because she was trying to get a security clearance taken from him, which was, you know, his whole job was his security clearance. She got CPS involved, she got the cops involved, you know, there was just so many things that
Starting point is 00:33:16 were taking him down. And I'd gone down to Florida, my dad requested, he was like, please just come to Florida, you need to meet your half-sister, you know, come see everybody. And I was like, okay, so I went to Florida reluctantly, and we were going to the nighttime Christmas Eve service. she was in a body con dress that went up to her booty cheeks with six inch stilettos. I mean, it looked like a New Year's Eve dress that you go to the bars and it's not something that you wear to church. What is a bodycon dress? Like a tight, tight dress.
Starting point is 00:33:44 It's like, okay. It's like form fitting. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, I like it when she wears this. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's like church.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Yeah, it's a church. I mean, like, so that was like super weird. The baby started crying. I was overwhelmed. and so I stepped out because I was starting to have I was just getting really bad anxiety it was stuffy in there as a megachurch there was a lot of people a lot of like bright lights and stuff and so I um I stepped out in the hallway and her mom and her followed me into the hallway and they cornered me and they said are you scared is it are you fearing for your life your dad he killed your mom he's going to
Starting point is 00:34:21 kill you he's going to kill us all her mom wrote down her number on a sheet of paper and gave it to me and said don't put your my phone number in your phone. and your dad can hack it and he can find me and kill me. I literally said, f*** y'all. Get out. Like, I know, like, get out of here. Get away from me.
Starting point is 00:34:39 This is not. I'm not here for you. I'm here for my dad. I'm here for my half sister. And so I didn't really tell my dad the whole store. I just kind of said they were bothering me. And then it happened again. And Easter,
Starting point is 00:34:49 I went back down. And they cornered me again. And we went to a store and they pushed me like kind of under a speaker. So it was super loud. And my dad, I guess couldn't hear me. And part of hearing day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:02 They told me the same thing, you know, your dad killed your mom. He's going to kill you. He's going to, he's beating us. Was this the first time that you had ever heard someone say that your dad killed your mom? Yes. They're just pulling, like, they're just. And what was there? And they weren't even around at that.
Starting point is 00:35:17 But like, how did they, like, did they actually say those words? Were they like, okay, look? Like, we have this theory that your dad killed your mom because of this. Or did they just say, like, this is a fact. Like, you think your dad killed your mom. Like, I was just kind of like, is this coming from. I'm sorry. And so I again told them like F off get away from me. And then I told my dad Easter morning because he could tell something was wrong. And I was like, look, this is what happened.
Starting point is 00:35:43 This happened at Christmas. I'm not coming here again. And that's when he was like, there was a turning point. He was like, all right, that's it. I'm going to leave her. I've tried so hard to show her. I'm just trying to be a loving husband. Show her what a true godly man is and be a good father. and she just continues to do this to me, and I can't figure out why. I said, okay, I'll leave now. You stay. The baby is on the way, and she needs, this is her, she's at the age now where she might remember opening her Easter basket.
Starting point is 00:36:11 So I'm just going to go, we'll do that, or we'll open Easter baskets, then I'll leave. You can come to Charleston tomorrow. Yeah. And then he never came to Charleston. I think, again, he was with her and the child, and he just, you know, he got roped back in. this might be hard for you to guess but if you had to speculate if like ashley and her mom actually believed those things or if they were just trying to manipulate the situation like what do you think i think it was a little bit of both i think they were trying to manipulate the situation i also think
Starting point is 00:36:40 that they had started to because her mom was just as crazy as her i think that they had started to believe their own lies a little bit i think they had kind of conspired so much within themselves that eventually that it was just like that it has to be you know yeah they could and tell the two apart. Yeah. And they also, I know Ashley tried to get my mom's, she got my mom's medical records pulled,
Starting point is 00:37:00 but then she also tried to get her dug back up to do, I guess if they could do like an autopsy. How would she have any, get her dug back up? Like her grave taken out. How could she as, as the new wife,
Starting point is 00:37:12 have any ability to do that? She was crazy. She was going to different doctor's offices. She got fired from, I think it was definitely one. It might have been two different doctor's offices because they kept telling her no like what you're looking for you don't have these you know
Starting point is 00:37:27 poisons in your body you don't have anything wrong with you the baby is fine and they were just telling her know that there's nothing wrong and so she was like she literally threw a hissy fit in one of the offices and they said you need to get out and then same with the detective in the trial he had testified that she called him it was during a custody case and there was they were going before a judge and she called the detective and she said can you a rest dug in front of the judge. So the judge sees that he's a terrible person and, well, I'm the only fit one to be the mother.
Starting point is 00:38:02 And the detective said, no, I'm not going to do that. And she said, basically custom out and said, well, if you're not going to take matters into your own hands, then I will. And he said, I've never in my 30 years of service had anybody do that over the phone to me and say they were going to take matters into their own hands. So I don't know. I don't know. I never got the vibe that she was actually insane enough to take somebody's life.
Starting point is 00:38:29 But I also knew she was just, I mean, all signs pointed towards it. So I just didn't want to believe that that was actually going to be the outcome. Thank you to Noble for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. One of my travel rules is to keep your hands free when at all possible. That is why we are so excited about the Noble bag. We love traveling with it. First off, they built a flip-out cup holder right into the luggage. Genius!
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Starting point is 00:40:07 hours there was a lot of press on it local news and then you know slowly started getting I think Within like a week or two, I started getting, you know, media people coming to me and asking, you know, reporters saying, would you make a statement? And then I think eventually it did, people did enough digging within a month. It was kind of dubbed the Black Swan Murder. C.B like 48 hours was starting to be a thing in, in production. So, I mean, it was quick. And for people that don't know the full details of what happened, can you, can you walk us through like what happened that night? So they were packing. up the U-Haul and she he I guess so like 10 minutes before it happened the mother taken their daughter to a park nearby. She's Ashley's mom took her daughter. Yeah, grandma took the daughter to a park nearby and then
Starting point is 00:41:00 I guess my dad she says it was out of self-defense because my dad had body checked her and was being aggressive this entire time. Okay. I don't think that's the case. My dad didn't have aggressive bone in his body. And then she, he came into a room. I think he was been, there was one more box and a mattress and it was basically empty. And he was turned to the side and she took the gun and she fired multiple rounds. She hit him in, it was through the like kind of the back side. It was through the side and out the front, I think is what it was. But it was, he was clearly turned towards the side and then again through the back of his leg so i mean if like that's kind of where the forensics people during the trial were like okay so he fell he fell and then how did his leg came up in the air
Starting point is 00:41:52 and you know like and she she claimed that he was just moving all around because he was like in a fighting position and because he was a you know he did jiu jutsu growing up i guess and a navy pilot just hand-to-hand combat stuff but that was kind of her claim and um so she shot him he i think she waited around 15 minutes to go over to the neighbor's house and the police had already been notified because the neighbor had heard the gunshots and then once she got there you can hear her I guess there was another phone call she um was in the background the neighbor was doing all the talking her lawyer was already on the scene before the detectives even showed up and then yeah my dad he I think that she waited a little bit because she was waiting for him to not be able to speak
Starting point is 00:42:37 and he, I think, died within an hour or two. And, yeah, that was that. I was notified the next day. And then, yeah, that was kind of it. Does that feel like a long time, like to be notified as the daughter? So I have no reference of how long it should have been. I think I remember the detective telling me that EMS wanted me to know that my dad was really trying to stay strong. so I think he fought for a little bit afterwards and then I don't think that any family was notified
Starting point is 00:43:12 till the next day I think that they were probably trying to figure out who he is who needs to get called well his the next person his emergency contact Ashley was that's totally in you know arrested so or she was I think you know she was arrested shortly after I had taken to the station and then yeah I mean I found out the next morning or like around lunchtime the next day so yeah And you'd been texting him. You've been trying. Yeah. And you had said, like, was there any part of you that had any type of instinct that you think
Starting point is 00:43:44 that something was wrong? Yes. And I was being told by my friends, by my sister-in-law, who I told, I was like, I'm kind of worried. My dad normally sent me a Bible verse every single morning, like 4.35 in the morning. So I didn't get a Bible verse that morning. I woke up, texted him, hey, is everything okay? Because normally it was like, he sent the Bible verse.
Starting point is 00:44:03 I'd wake up an hour or two later. I'd text him, he'd call me, we'd talk about what we were going to do, or I was going to do for the day. And he hadn't said anything, so I texted him, good morning, and then an hour later, still nothing. Then another hour went by, still nothing. And so eventually I started to worry a little bit. And my friends knew that, I mean, the same thing had happened with my mom. I texted her a bunch, she didn't answer. And my dad knew that too.
Starting point is 00:44:25 So everybody even, you know, highest, most important government people in the world, he would be in a meeting with them. And if I had an issue where I was like, I need to reach you. right now he knew to say hey i just need to tell my daughter i'm in a meeting so he everyone was like maybe he's just in a meeting and he'll get back to him like even if he was there's a chance that i called him so many times i'd text him so many times it had been since seven in the morning it was 10 o'clock now i he would have responded by now and so i told my sister-in-law and she said again it's just anxiety everything's probably fine um i was starting a shift at a coffee shop that was in the neighborhood my sister-in-law lived in.
Starting point is 00:45:05 So I drove over to her house right before that shift started. And we were just kind of sitting there. And my uncle had texted me, hey, Eva, are you like, is every, what did he say? He was like, hey, Eva, how are you doing? Or do you have time for a phone call? Which I'm not very, we weren't very close at the time. So it was kind of weird for him to say that. And so I immediately called him.
Starting point is 00:45:24 And he had already had patched in my dad's cousin on the phone as well. I heard them kind of talking. Have you told her yet? What's going on? I said, what happened? there's something wrong and I know it and they were like we their dad's been in an accident he's been shot and I said is he dead and then they said yes and then he said I was like did Ashley do it and they said yes and then I mean after I just kind of hung up and I looked at my sister and I said I don't
Starting point is 00:45:49 have parents anymore and then I called them back five minutes later because I was like oh my gosh it's the 28th rent's due in three days so I had to call them and say hey my dad pays my rent I don't I don't know what to do. So, yeah, that was that. Did you, were you in tears right away? Were you in just an utter shock? You didn't even know how to feel? I cried immediately.
Starting point is 00:46:10 And then within five minutes, so I hung up. I put my phone away on the table. And my sister-in-law, she had her newborn on the couch, put the newborn next to her, and I went and crawled in her lab. I was like, I just didn't know what to do. And then I had plans with my friends that night. And so they were already at, it was kind of a few streets over from her house, they were already there. And I called my former boss and I said, hey, or I didn't even, I couldn't even talk because I knew I had that shift starting in 20, 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:46:41 She knew my sister-in-law because she went to high school with my brother. So my sister-in-law called my former boss and said, hey, there's been an accident. So over like six months working at that job, everybody just thought my dad died in a car accident until they kind of picked up. Why do you keep talking about murder? And then she was like, oh, my dad was murdered. Did y'all not hear about that? And they were like, no, Bizz just said that there was an accident. So, yeah, I called or she called, said I wasn't coming in.
Starting point is 00:47:08 And then I called back. I kind of just like locked in. I said, I need to figure out rent. I don't have any money. And then I called my friends. I said, hey, are y'all still there? They said, yeah, just come over. So I drove.
Starting point is 00:47:21 I mean, I could barely hit the foot, the gas pedal, because my legs were shaking so bad. Drove over there very slow. and I sat down on the porch and they could tell something was wrong. They said, what's going on? I said, Ashley killed my dad. And they were like, all right, where are we doing tonight? What's the plan? What do you want to do? And they just kind of immediately took over and just carried me through the next two weeks. That burden of finances immediately, like you worrying about rent just breaks my heart. You also became responsible for your dad's estate, right? Like for paying like the mortgage on the house. they start reaching out to you right yeah so i there was no basically the will was like he there was it was
Starting point is 00:48:05 interesting because there was two copies of the will one was dated before i there was two and one the old one had ashley eva gets everything in his handwriting ashley gets nothing and then there was another one i guess after that and so that was i guess when she had left my dad so we found that and then i was supposed to get the house and you know all the things whatever. My brothers were going to get stuff too. And then we kind of realized I was the only person. It was like Ashley, Doug, and then Eva Bentonfield were the only people listed on the house mortgage paperwork or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Yeah. My dad had taken on a second mortgage on the house and was completely underwater with it. He had basically no money left when all he had was is kind of stock and whatever investment money that like I still, you know, it's not like those were immediate. returns. Yeah. So, and I knew even if those did have a return on them, it would be years before I saw that. But yeah, I had to, somebody tried to serve me for, I guess, what was owed on the house or the taxes or something for hundreds of thousands of dollars. And then I just remember seeing that letter. I'm like, oh my God, what do I do? And then. What did you do when you got served those papers? I went to a yoga class. My dad's high school sweetheart was a yoga teacher.
Starting point is 00:49:26 her and I was very close with her at this point that you know I'd been a couple months since and I didn't know her until after my dad passed she had reached out she was one of those people that reached out um and she started doing she had a yoga studio so I went to her class and she was like even you just seemed very closed off what's going on and she pulled me into her office and she was also a practicing lawyer and she looked I showed her the paperwork and she looked at them and immediately she knew my dad's brothers too got all of them on the phone and I mean she's She is the most gentle, sweet Southern Bell you would ever meet. I have never heard her ring somebody out, like, ream them out, you know, over the phone.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Like, you, Eva is here and you, West and Dave, and you'll have to get, you know, Eva is, she's a young girl and she started yelling at them over the phone. Like she, she can't take care of the estate. You have to do something. My brother was the executor of the will. And he didn't want anything to do with this after. I mean, my dad, he had no relation to my dad. At that point, it was kind of an elephant in the room of what had happened. They didn't really ever talk about it with me.
Starting point is 00:50:32 My brother wasn't doing anything with the estate. And so he signed everything over to my uncle. And because I was the contact points for all these people and everything, but then I wasn't actually in control of the paperwork because I guess I was so young when my dad made that will that I couldn't be. I don't know. But yeah, that was kind of that. And then as far as everything else, there was no life insurance or anything.
Starting point is 00:50:56 dug through so much paperwork for years trying to find any kind of scrap of evidence that my dad had life insurance and he did at one point but he had stopped paying the premium like four months before he died so that was really annoying to see that but at hindsight I'm grateful that I didn't get just a large sum of money handed to me right after because I think I would have turned out completely differently why why do you think you would have been different I would have been I mean and I went through, when Ghost Cowboys started making more money and I was not used. I mean, it was like, it went viral so fast. I wasn't used to making that kind of money compared to my hourly braised a job.
Starting point is 00:51:35 I got very irresponsible very quickly and I started going down an entirely wrong path. I started hanging out with the wrong people, doing drugs, drinking a lot, like not the person that I needed to be. And luckily I got out of that stage, but I think I would have turned into another little, you know old not old money but just a little trust fund kid yeah got got a couple million dollars in life insurance and just kind of effed off i was i was going to ask you about that like did you feel this huge urge right when you got the horrible news to just go get super drunk or like just yeah like did you turn to did you have any vices that you turned to at that time i mean yeah i was drinking a lot
Starting point is 00:52:15 that first year i think it was more just typical 21 year old socialization at that point point 20-year-old social, no, I guess I was 20 at that point, like 2021. Those first two years, 2020 came around. But I feel like in the South, they're like, oh, if you're 18, you can drink. Oh, you can drink a beer. Yeah. Even though the law is different, I feel like the Southern people are like, yeah, it's fine. No, it's okay. Yeah, we were 16. Like, it was okay as long as it was in the house, you know, parents had the keys. But, yeah, I, 19, 20, I then started Ghost Cowboy. I think I'd freshly turned 21. So at that point, I was legally drinking. I could go out and spend my money how I wanted to and goes Cowboys also taking off. I just started hanging out with the wrong crowd.
Starting point is 00:52:57 For about a year, I was just not doing the things that I should have been doing. And, you know, it was great because Ghost Cowboys going viral. So I didn't have to put in a lot of work to make the money and really run the business. And then the end of 2022, I kind of, I had this one terrible, terrible, terrible night, woke up the next day, super hungover, and I was like, that's it, I'm done. I need to get my shit together. Because I used to be like a runner and I played lacrosse in high school and I would go to workout classes all the time and I was such a clean eater. You know, that was just kind of my way of life for so long.
Starting point is 00:53:32 And I just put that on the back burner and was out of control. So I found a little house on A La Palms on Facebook Marketplace and it was like it's a beach shack. It is just, you know, the bare minimum of a house. But I sold, I had bought a 1978 F100 that I was rebuilding with some of the money that I had been making from Ghost Cowboy. And I had rebuilt it enough that I could sell it for a profit. So I sold it for a profit because it was too expensive to break my lease in the apartment I was in, which was also a terrible apartment. And I think that was kind of contributing to just this depressed hole that I was in.
Starting point is 00:54:13 And I, so I sold that F100. I had two months or three months worth of rent for both apartments. And then I eventually moved into the house and like just had the other apartment for three months. And then I got rid of it. And then I felt off the face of the earth, dropped all of my old friends. Not all of my old friends. Like some of my friends that, you know, I was, it was like two friend groups. The friend group that I was with when I found out about my dad and we went out.
Starting point is 00:54:39 They're still very close, good friends. But it was this other crowd. The party crowd? The party crowd. You had to like cut them off? it wasn't good for you? Yeah. I mean, like completely ghosted them and just kind of went and I got back in shape. I quit drinking for a while. You know, that was kind of, I just like whipped myself into shape. And then exercise turned into a vice, a huge vice. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 00:55:03 I mean, exercise is really is a good thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I started distance running after my mom passed away. I got really into it. And then obviously it kind of fell off the wagon there for a little bit. But that's when I think 2022 is when I really discovered marathon training. And, like, distance running when I was in high school right after my mom died was like six miles max. But I started getting to eight and ten. And, you know, all of a sudden I was doing half marathons. And then I was thinking, I would like to do a full marathon. And I think that turned into the workload of that and goes cowboy and really learning.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Because then all of a sudden I also had this lawsuit with my former kind of business partner. that he Screw that guy I'm sorry I don't know this person I was like reading that in your book and I'm like who what type of person
Starting point is 00:55:53 sues someone while they're going to trial because their dad got murdered So I sued him Oh you sued him Yes yeah Okay that's better It was better but like still awful Because I was having to like pay all this money
Starting point is 00:56:05 For these attorneys and I wasn't paying myself And then I was going to a murder trial And like, eventually he's settled and, you know, everything's fine out. There are some crazy things that I can tell you. I'm not legally allowed to talk about it. But like, you don't want to mess around with the law. Yeah. So.
Starting point is 00:56:20 Which you've, I mean, you've, gosh, going to court and trial and, and you've spent so much time in front of. Thank you to Vinted for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Been wearing the same maternity pieces for so long. My old clothes don't quite fit and look right. I want to go shopping, but I don't have any free hangers. And that is why I have loved using. Vented. Vented is such a great solution. It helps you clean out your closet and earn some extra money. Vented is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday sellers to sell pre-loved fashion and earn some
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Starting point is 00:57:25 definitely download the Vented app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. You casually mentioned the media and how big that was, all that media attention. can you walk us through what that was like to wake up and you have CNN, TMZ, you know, all these different media outlets. I think you mentioned like the Hollywood Reporter in your book. Just everyone's like at your doorstep wanting you to make a comment on the case and the trial. What was that like?
Starting point is 00:57:56 It was just kind of bizarre, I think. I got really frustrated because I was so overwhelmed. and it immediately felt like a cash grab for everybody else kind of profiting off of this huge story. And it was, I mean, I was fine with speaking about it because I think it gave me an opportunity to like get back at her. She wasn't in jail yet right after everything happened. And she, you know, the trial wasn't going to happen for a while. So any chance I could get where I'm like, well, maybe she would see this and she would, you know, know that I'm fighting for my dad. But at the same time, there was instances where either, you know, there was an article that I met with this reporter.
Starting point is 00:58:36 She took my words and twisted them. And it was like, I was just, I was frustrated when I saw the article came out. And that was my first real taste of, like, journalism and journalists. How did she twist her words? She tried to paint it super political, which I just, again, I'm not a political person. And I was like, my dad was murdered and you're trying to make this about politics because of his affiliation with the Republican Party. Yeah, of course they did. So that was like, I think that was really frustrating.
Starting point is 00:59:04 and then, you know, I, but I, at the same time, it was, I just kind of compartmentalized and put my head down and did it, you know, and I think that's kind of, I just kind of had to say, okay, feelings on the back burner, let's, let's just, I'm going to do what I need to do to get through it. So that same, it was just kind of a crazy experience, but I learned a lot very quickly with it. Were they trying to act like the, the murder was, was kind of, like, oh, well, of course this happened since they were, they both had guns. Like, was it kind of like that? There was one, well, the one where they twisted my words. Yeah. She basically, it was, it wasn't even about, a lot of it was kind of giving the backstory of my dad's political affiliation. Okay. And, you know, they said something, she said something about Trump and I think it was like
Starting point is 00:59:51 God's guns in ballet or something was the title of it. I can't really remember. That was like a phrase that was used in it. And I just remember thinking, like, that's not what this is. I thought this was about, I thought this was about, like, you know, what happened. and then she said something along the lines of us. We had his service outside. We spread his ashes on the beach.
Starting point is 01:00:12 And it was during COVID, peak COVID. So it was, everybody was outside. You know, some people wearing masks. Some people weren't. It just kind of, you know, show up if you want to show up. Totally. And she twisted that into like we didn't care about COVID or something or we were just like, I was like, what about that is necessary to talk about?
Starting point is 01:00:31 Yeah. We can't have an outdoor service. for my dad that we just murdered. Yeah. Also, when we were on the beach, it's windy. Like, I don't know. COVID wasn't really the forefront of our mind at that point. I don't even remember what she asked me, where she got that narrative.
Starting point is 01:00:45 But when I read it, I was like, oh, my God. Like, she's making me look so politically affiliated. And, like, that's not what I'm trying. I'm trying to get justice for my dad and fight Ashley because she's not in prison yet. And I want people to know how bad she is. That makes me wonder, too, like, as someone that, that was prominent in this like big media attention true crime case like what is your take on the true crime industry essentially that has like developed i think i mean first of all it's taken off
Starting point is 01:01:19 so much in the last few years yeah and i think i was kind of i mean i know it's been big forever but like i feel like with social media within the last five or six years i was kind of at that the cusp of its upcoming on social media, all the Netflix documentaries, and that's like the even, because I know from behind the scenes, getting, talking to producers and talking to people that are trying to greenlit
Starting point is 01:01:42 documentaries all the time, you know, it just it's really popular. Like, though, this will sell so fast because everybody wants a piece fit, this will sell so fast and because true crime is so big right now and your case is huge. But I mean, it's
Starting point is 01:01:58 just, I think it's good to shine light on certain scenarios and show people, you know, like Ashley, she was, she cried wolf. She was trying to say it was domestic violence. She, I think, took kind of the spotlight from a lot of women who are actually in severe scenarios. It also, you know, gave me a reason to say, hey, you know, my dad had no one to turn to his mental health was bad. Let's talk about how like men's mental health, even if he was, you know, raising his voice at one point, he had nowhere to turn to because it's, it's kind of typical men don't really talk about their feelings and you know um so it kind of shines a light i felt like it's it's a positive thing because it's shining light on different scenarios that really need
Starting point is 01:02:41 to be talked about but at the same time it's so weird even right now with the few big trials going on of people just get very parissocial with true crime like their attorneys and you know everybody in the case and you know they're speculating all of these things online it's like that's not actually is what what's happening in the courtroom. You're not there. You don't know what's going on. You don't know what the jury's looking at. Like you can't see them on TV. Um, so I think it's just, it's really frustrating to see people get so involved in parisocial. And I don't know. I mean, it's also everything is taken out of context when court cases are shown on TV. I made like a side eye at one point when Ashley was testifying and it, it screen grabbed immediately put on Reddit. People were saying that I was being a brat in the
Starting point is 01:03:27 courtroom. I was so disrespectful of Ashley. And I was like, I was laughing at something because my dad's high school sweetheart made a joke. And I thought it wasn't even about Ashley on stand. It was about something to do with me. And I laughed a little bit. And then people took that, put it on the every chat room that you could find. I'm like, well, this little brat. And I'm like, are you kidding me?
Starting point is 01:03:49 I can't win with anything. And your social media became a topic in the courtroom as well, right? Yeah, I got admonished by the judge for posting a TikTok. talk. It wasn't anything to do with what people were saying in the trial, but I understand, you know, I said I testified. I didn't say anything about anything else. And I also, there was a reporter that came up to me at the end of that day and or the night before. And I was just kind of like briefly interaction with this reporter, but somebody from her team saw me speaking with this reporter. And I was still like under oath technically. I wasn't supposed to be in the last. I wasn't supposed to be in
Starting point is 01:04:28 the courtroom at all, but because I was a victim of the crime, I got to be in the courtroom because it was my dad. So the judge made sure I knew that saying, hey, you're not allowed to talk about this. Technically, you're still under oath. You can't go and say anything. And then if she was testifying, I'd had to step out of the courtroom because they didn't want the jury to think that, like, it was conflicting because I was supposed to come back in the rebuttal, which I did. So they didn't want kind of my testimony to conflict with hers, I guess, because I had heard hers. And then I'd come back in the rebuttal and, like, say something that went against what she said. I don't know. So I was under oath speaking to the reporter in the hall just briefly. I don't even think they had they
Starting point is 01:05:10 were recording or anything. And her team saw that. And then I posted a funny TikTok saying, well, I just testified in my dad's murder trial and my crush is back home watching. And I mean, it blew up immediately. And so I originally got called back on stand because of the reporter and I was getting questioned by her attorney and he brought up my TikTok and he said we'll pull out your phone and that's when the judge was like all right no now we're badgering stop like this wasn't even about her social media this is about her talking the reporter and then he kind of gave me a slap on the wrist and I went home that day I was like I don't want to do that anymore I've been on stand too much how many days did this go on for two weeks 10 days did you try to make contact with Ashley at all
Starting point is 01:05:53 or like eye contact with her eye contact during yes she wouldn't look at me she'd either look at her floor or like me scribbling something on her paper and then before the trial even started I don't think I was legally allowed to make contact with her okay um especially after the pre-trial but yeah that was that I really did try it and so I didn't get the opportunity to kind to say my piece because obviously I could only testify as to what they asked me on stand and then I also wasn't allowed to talk to the media because I was kind of with my book I wanted to save every I was I knew I was actively writing the books. I was like, well, I have all the things I want to say that I can't, you know,
Starting point is 01:06:32 give it out right now. So I waited to kind of say my piece with her in my victim's impact statement. And I actually got to watch that, that they posted it on, it's on YouTube. But the thing that surprised me, which I don't know a lot about the rules of court and like, I'm sure you know way more than you want to know at this point. Yeah, I guess. But they interrupt you a lot. Yeah, that was frustrating because they were going off of,
Starting point is 01:06:57 murder one, which this was not a murder one case. I guess it was. The rules that they were going off of really didn't apply to this trial. So it was kind of frustrating that he was kept budding in. I wasn't supposed to speak directly to her. And I kept acknowledging her in my impact statement. And so that's why he kept stopping me. And then I guess some of it was like, I don't even know. Like the, I don't, I wasn't supposed to speak directly to her. And so because I was acknowledging her, he made me stop. And then that's when Suzanne O'Donnell came up and kind of read through before I said anything else.
Starting point is 01:07:35 And she's like, just take out that part. And so I took it out. Why, in my opinion, should you be able to say whatever you want to her at that point? For your victim impact statement. That's what I thought too. But I got like every banger that I had written in there. Like I got it in there. So at least I got a couple punches in.
Starting point is 01:07:49 What was the punch that they made you take out that you wanted to say? I can't even, honestly, I don't remember. I think it had to do with her treating me, which technically wasn't how that impacted, like her crime impacted me. That was just how she personally impacted me. So that's kind of the conflicting thing. God. Gosh, it's a good thing I'm not to judge because I'd be like, let her say her peace. I know.
Starting point is 01:08:14 Like, Judge White was like, he was, I thought he was really fair. So I was really happy with him. But at the same time, I was like, come on, I thought we were friends now. Like, she just got convicted of murder, like, her man. Antslaught or like let me just say my thing. Yeah. Thank you to Osea for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. How often are we sold so many promises from skin care? They're over promising and under delivering. Let's be honest when it really just needs to be clean and simple when it comes to skincare. That is why I am so excited that I found my holy grail for my skin. That is Osea's clean
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Starting point is 01:09:25 full body glow. Go to Oseaamalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code unplanned. That's O-S-E-A-Malibu.com code unplanned. So she was sentenced to 20 years. Yeah. And then 10 probation. Yeah. Are you, do you feel like that's justice served for your dad? I mean, obviously I would like her behind bars forever.
Starting point is 01:09:48 But I think it was considering she could have walked away not guilty at all. and so I honestly that trial just waiting for the trial and the trial itself and the pre-trial I mean the pre-trial was diagnosed with PTSD afterwards because of how just in I saw autopsy pictures of my dad that I was not supposed to see so I couldn't sleep for weeks after that and I went to a psychiatrist just because I was like I need somebody now like somebody needs to help me and then the trial anticipating it going through it and then it being done I was like you know what she is in prison for 20 years and I was like you know what she is in prison for 20 years. and that is good with me. As long as this is behind me, I'm good. And then she actually was working time off and back in this past January, assaulted a correctional officer and got put in solitary confinement
Starting point is 01:10:36 and then got moved into a different prison and got all of her time put back on. No way. Yeah. So it really just goes to show. She is insane. It wasn't just this one-time act. Like she went and she didn't get her way, I guess,
Starting point is 01:10:49 in court or in prison and hit a cop. Wow. Yeah. You just casually mentioned, though, that she could have, like, gotten off. Was there actually a chance that she was going to get off Scott Free? I mean, yeah, she would have been found not guilty. Or I guess she would have been... Like the Stand Your Ground?
Starting point is 01:11:06 Yeah, well, Stand Your Ground was the hearing, the pretrial. And then she would have been found... It was either manslaughter, murder, too, or self-defense. So she would have been, like, it was not guilty by self-defense. But the standard ground law was pulled in for the pretrial because it was either she was saying, hey, get off my property and defending her property. So she had a right to attack. Or it was murder trial.
Starting point is 01:11:38 So it ended up obviously getting ruled to be a murder trial. But then I guess the three options were manslaughter, murder two, or self-defense. It seems like you have peace with the verdict. But like as an outsider looking in, why is it like, I don't know, 20, years is a long time, but still I'm like, she killed your dad. Like, why is she not away for life? I guess it's just all the different specifics of that night and what happened is why she's not away forever. I think there was like, I mean, there wasn't. And I think it was premeditated, but there wasn't enough evidence to point towards that. So it was like there was just so much
Starting point is 01:12:12 evidence that either it wasn't substantial enough or because of the way the trial fell with, you know, the state. It just, it didn't those, the cards didn't lay right, I guess. And so, um, yeah, I mean, as long, I was just at that point, just content that she got anything. Because, again, she was playing the domestic violence kind of battered wife syndrome card, which I didn't think was fair to all the other women. But then also, I mean, she was like there was, you know, a chance that the jury would have played into that. And they would have said, oh, it was self-defense. So I was just kind of worried that they were going to take her bait.
Starting point is 01:12:47 So you, when you heard about the correctional officer, like the incident and then her getting time added on, is there someone letting you know as like a direct victim of like the crime that put her away letting you know or you're just hearing it somebody comments trial updates on my Instagram I don't know you're kidding you're like thank you Which again, it's like I was grateful in that moment that they did that, but kind of goes back to people get really parisocial with these true crime cases. And so she's had commented multiple times about different things that had happened along the way. And then I found out, sure enough, from she commented, I was like, that's not true. So I googled it and it was in a Reddit thread. And I found the paperwork in a Reddit thread. So people like are finding, I don't know how they find these things so fast.
Starting point is 01:13:30 But yeah. See, in my head, I'm like, I like with justice, I'm like, they're going to. let everyone know like the person that they put away is like because don't they like sometimes let people know if they're like switched prisons or it's probably only in certain types of cases. I didn't get that email. Yeah. In my head I'm like I wish that they could just inform you all the time. Like she's still like. I did get updates a lot with that the whole system and they would send me emails. But then after a while, I mean, once she got put in prison, there really wasn't other than the appeal. I got notified with her appeal. And then I think.
Starting point is 01:14:04 when it got denied or when it was no longer within the time frame that she had to submit all the paperwork for it get approved it i got an email then and then yeah any update after that it's just you're like i have ghost cowboy customer service yeah yeah people no but people also d or message ghost cowboy about it too somebody emailed me and said she saw either the case or she saw my book or something and she was like i went to high school with your mom and back and you know how wrong it's just like some sweet old Florence lady. She's like, I was a few years older than your mama, but I have pictures of her in my yearbook, and she sent me my mom's pictures.
Starting point is 01:14:42 And I was like, this is the craziest customer service email I've ever gotten. It was like a response to a marketing thing, too. It wasn't even like, like, I guess I had sent out a blast email, and she just responded to one of them, which half the time I don't respond to those, but. It jogged her memory. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, this is really crazy.
Starting point is 01:15:00 And I think my favorite thing about your brand is just the beautiful story behind. the name ghost cowboy can you explain that for people so i mean i say that it has to do with my dad and all of that i was trying to set sorry i was trying to set you up because you've i've heard you on podcast where you're like you're like i literally just made that like name up i think there is like a quote somewhere online where people are like oh it's because her dad was you know he's texas and the ghost now or something no i pulled the name out of nowhere i was like i have to have have a domain within, you know, I was giving myself, because ADHD brain, like, I was going to just go ham on the details. Yeah. I was like, that's literally not important. And I think it was just
Starting point is 01:15:41 like a random, like name generator or something. Like I just like, ghost cowboy, boom, that's it. Domain name bought. And then it just went from there. Nice. And then my book, Ghost Girl, that was not my decision either, but it worked out well. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, all right, marketing. Cool. Right. Yeah. And then people will hear about your storefront and your, and like all the cool shirts that you make because of... I know. I already picked out my several. I'm like, I can't wait to that. Just send them to me.
Starting point is 01:16:08 Absolutely not. No, the one I love is to support your local library. I think that was so cute. Thank you. I love that. Yeah, I am. Your style is so cool. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:16:17 I mean, it's really just because I didn't, I knew how to draw and I didn't know how to do graphic design, but I wanted to make graphic T-shirts. So I just started drawing stuff and putting it on T-shirts and it worked out, I guess. That's amazing. Yeah. What's been the overall response so far to the book? Everybody is very positive. I wouldn't say there's one, the only thing that people, I think one Goodreads review that I got was too much young slang. I was like, well, I'm 25. I was 21 when I started writing this so a little bit. But no, it's been an immense amount of good feedback. And so many people have said, I mean, I didn't realize. obviously I knew that a lot of people go through grief in very different ways in different scenarios, but so many people have said that I put grief into words that they were feeling but never able to kind of vocalize, which felt really good because I think that's how I felt for so long.
Starting point is 01:17:17 And just to know, I kind of struck a chord with so many people and resonated with so many people. It's been really, really great. I read it on my Kindle and I was like, there's so many things I was highlighting because I was like, it's so like the way that you are able to just like paint pictures to emotions is like I mean I know I'm not the first to tell you this but this book is is so well written you would have thought that you were this was your thing that you do like you write books and this was not your first book I dropped out school like I don't know what I'm doing it was so beautiful thank you and like and also I love the way like young slang but your voice was so like so present in it too like it was just it was so
Starting point is 01:17:57 easy to read, but then also just like there was a depth to it that was very surprising and just there's so many things I'm like, I'm going to go back and look at my highlights often because it was just so. Thank you. So there's so many things that stood out to me that I'm like, I'm going to remember that part about your story. Thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:14 I just, I feel like I was trying to make it seem like a phone call to a friend just because I'm such a casual person and I do, I know I have emotional depth. Then I also, I know how to like kind of put it into words in a way that, you know, you you know, it's less of an impact or it's not as, because sometimes being very vulnerable is really, really scary for a lot of people. So I think if you can do it in a casual way where it still has the same impact, but you feel like you're really kind of sympathizing and empathizing with so many people, I think it makes it a lot easier to kind of,
Starting point is 01:18:46 for people to process their emotions. Because, you know, even I still have like this emotional side of me that I'm scared to kind of open that can of worms. And so I have to do it in a way in my brain that makes it just, way more casual. I guess with all the different avenues, your art, your book, it seems like you're able to express your emotions in other ways and, you know, laugh about the crazy stuff that's happened to you rather than sit into this like this place of why me and, you know, get stuck in life. So I respect that a lot. Thanks. I think it's really cool too how you've cultivated an audience
Starting point is 01:19:26 that is like, like you said earlier, like uniquely, I'm having a hard time with my brain sometimes. No, you're good, you're good. You just had a baby three weeks ago. I know, I'm like, you're a rock star in my life. You're so nice. It's going to come just one second. Oh, it came to me.
Starting point is 01:19:44 I remember you writing in your book about how there's, like say you had lost your parents when you were like 10 or 11 or younger, you know, everything would have been taken care of for you. Right. But you were like 19, like freshly adult, like legal adult. And it seems like there's like a gap in the system of like these like, you know, you're technically an adult, but you're just still getting on your feet. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:10 And like I guess like what would you like to see change or what would you like, what would you like for people that are in your similar situation where they're like finding themselves like as an orphan but as a adult? Like, you know, this gap that's in this young adulthood period. I mean, first of all, you're allowed to make the orphan jokes, even if you're technically of legal age and not technically an orphan anymore. You're like, I just want to say that. Yeah, like you're totally allowed to. It's fine. I still do. It's just, I mean, it's scary, but being an adult is scary too. Even if I had both of my parents now, I would still probably be freaking out all the time. I know a lot of my friends are coming out. I'm 25. We're about to turn 26. They're like, oh my gosh, I have to figure out health insurance next year. So it's just like, it's kind of,
Starting point is 01:20:53 it's scary no matter what. So no matter what, you know, even if you are kind of dealt these cards towards it makes it a little bit harder. It's only going to make you so much stronger on the on the other side. Because now I'm, you know, talking to my best friend about, okay, well, here's what you need to do to, you know, when you get off of your parents' phone bill or they're looking, I know somebody is looking at financing a truck or looking to go buy a truck. And I'm like, okay, well, here's how I did it. My credit score wasn't great.
Starting point is 01:21:20 But, you know, here's how I did it. And it worked out for me or just like any of these scenarios where you're kind of supposed to have a parent to guide you or an adult to guide. you and you don't, if you figure it out, you're going to be so much further ahead than your peers. And now I get to help all of my friends and, you know, family that are kind of at that stepping stone. Is there any particular thing, like, when you, like, look ahead in your life, like, this, this part particularly stings the most because you've now found yourself, like, 25 in parentless. Like, is there any, like, tender point that you're like, this, this is particularly bad when you think about, like. Just the last 10 years are, like, kind of moving forward.
Starting point is 01:22:06 Moving forward. Honestly, now that I'm getting to the age where everyone is starting to get married and engaged, I think about how I don't have parents to, like, not, I don't really care about funding the wedding, but being at the wedding. Just these big milestones that I have to look forward to still, they're not here to share with me. Like, I, my dad taught me how to paint and draw. And he, I wanted to be an illustrator and own my own business from as little as I could hold a pencil, you know. So for me to be doing all these things that I wanted to do growing up and he kind of was paving the way and teaching me and showing me how to, you know, do he, I knew what a domain name. I know, knew what GoDaddy was at like 12 years old, the website where you can buy a domain because my dad taught me all these things. And so, that's awesome.
Starting point is 01:22:52 So the fact that I'm doing it now and like, I'm not, they're not here to share these moments with me. kind of sings a little bit. And then, I mean, yeah, that would probably be my biggest thing is like just the big milestones to come and my parents aren't going to be there. But I mean, it's okay. I think that everything in my brain, I've always said this is everything happens for a reason. So I haven't quite figured out the reason. I especially didn't know right when it all started to happen.
Starting point is 01:23:20 But I'm still kind of now I'm looking back. I'm like, oh, I think this was my reason. I think helping so many people is my reason, is the reason that this all happened. Yeah, I mean, I think you have to, you have to turn your pain into purpose. Yeah. Right. And it's so funny. I love that you said everything happens for a reason because I feel like if someone
Starting point is 01:23:40 would have told you that right when everything was happening, probably wouldn't have wanted to hear that then. But here you are saying it. So why are you saying it? My dad told me that. So, I mean, I had a bit of like a catastrophize. diva away growing up like oh my gosh this is the worst thing ever to happen to me you know and my dad would always be like eva everything always works out everything happens for a reason you know he kind of made me
Starting point is 01:24:05 think about there was i remember just one scenario where i think i had a crush on a boy and you know i was like 17 and it wasn't going the way i wanted it to and he was like when have you ever what he said it in a way that it was so profound and i'm like how did he say it when have you ever wanted something and didn't either get that thing or something better. And I was like, I kind of thought about it. I was like, I've always gotten what I wanted, whether it be what I actually wanted or something better or it kind of came about it in a different way. It's always worked out. And my dad drilled that into my head and just my parents growing up to be grateful. I mean, my mom made me write out three things that I was grateful for every single day. My mom did a little thing with me in growing up where we had
Starting point is 01:24:49 two flowers in the house. One was on one side of the house. One was on the other side. Both got equal amounts of sunlight. Both we had to water every single day. One I would say mean things to. One I would say nice things to. And she showed me, look, the mean flower is dying because your energy and your words have impact. So I just knew when everything happened in my head, I was like, all right, they taught me. Everything happens for a reason. Everything always works out. And just to speak positivity. and you're going to have a lot more things to be grateful for and, you know, have more of a reason to move forward than to just sulk and focus on the negative. I feel like you have the ultimate candy salad line.
Starting point is 01:25:29 I love those videos or people just trauma dump and do the candy salad on TikTok. That people are in my comments. Anytime I start with like, oh, my mom died and then my dad was murdered. All the comments are, and I brought the gummy worms. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's kind of how it feels. I love that. Yeah. I love that. And, and like, I mean, really the way that I first saw, like, your, your videos was, was, was on TikTok. It was, it was just the, it's such, it's such a powerful, like, lying to hear you say, yeah, my mom's dad when I was 14 and then nine months later, my dad married a 23 year old. And then five years later after that, she murdered him. Yeah. And then you just like get into whatever your video is. And every time I'm just like, holy God. There was one that's like, it's like, it's like, like, it's.
Starting point is 01:26:16 kind of picking up now where it's like here's um i said that and then i was like and here's my outfit i don't know it's like it's like it's kind of i mean i feel like i'm kind of numb to it at that point but and it's more of a joke and i think people if they don't know me and they see that they're like what the hell is this girl talking about then people that know me like i was just eva she's just making a joke it's fine so have you ever met someone that has had an like in a similar effed up past to you? Yes. You have. You would be shocked at how many people's parents are murdered. No, I'm not kidding. I, there was a hurricane not last year, two years ago. And so my friend and I, we both live on, well, she actually lives in Africa now, but when she lived on Palm,
Starting point is 01:27:02 she lived right down the road, she would ride her bike over and, you know, stop and get like a case of whatever at the liquor store. And it was a hurricane party. That's like a, do you all like, hurricane parties or a thing? Oh my God, yeah. Are you got a keg one time in high school. Because you're like, what's a hurricane party? Oh my God. I thought you're supposed to like evacuate and take shelter. Not, that's if you're not from. Like, so, okay, in Charleston specifically, there's this cow that spins.
Starting point is 01:27:28 It's the Coburg cowgirl cow. And it's like this huge cow statue. And it's for like the Coburg milk company. And when the Coburg cowberg cow comes down, that's when you know it's going to be like a pretty decent storm. But yeah, hurricane parties, everyone's just like, all right, we're off work. The roads are flooded because they flood so easily. so let's just party.
Starting point is 01:27:46 So we were all hunkering down on my back porch when the rain had just started. And my friend, one of my very good friends, she was like, oh, my friend from high school is coming over. You're going to love her. And she has a crazy story too. I'll let her. She knows your story about I'll let her tell you hers. And she told me, she was like, we all started drinking, making spritzes on the porch. And she was like, yeah, so my brother was murdered.
Starting point is 01:28:08 And like, I've met multiple people since then that it's like pretty relative. I was sitting at a restaurant the other day with my boyfriend's mom, and she had a girl that, like, she kind of knew, and somehow, like, they, like, ran into each other, and we were talking, my book had just come out, and so we were kind of celebrating her. I was about to come out, and she was like, oh, what's your book about? And I said it's a coming-of-age memoir,
Starting point is 01:28:32 and the girl was like, oh, I told her, like, the brief synopsis of the story of what happened to me, and she was like, that's insane. my mom, my dad was murdered by my stepmom as well. Like, and I mean, this was, and even my boyfriend's mom was like, I didn't know that about her because she doesn't really talk about it, but I had just shared. So she decided to share her a story. So yeah, I run into people all the time and they have crazy murder stories. Wow.
Starting point is 01:29:01 Yeah. Yeah, you probably hear about it. I mean, I'm sure people just feel comfortable to come talk to you about it because nobody else effing understands that unless you've been through it. there's no possible way for us to have even an inkling of what you've been through. Yeah. So that's kind of cool that people, that you guys are, that you're at least able to like find community with other people that have been through some really horrible things.
Starting point is 01:29:23 Yeah, which I mean, I am so grateful that I get to help other people see that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah. And kind of, I hope that I can inspire people to kind of reshape how they look at things. If it's a negative thing, you know, maybe just find the positivity in it somehow. And it's kind of even more shifted to like running. and mindset and, you know, do hard things for yourself. Like the Boston, I'm trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon in December.
Starting point is 01:29:49 And a lot of people ask, well, what is the goal or why do you want to do Boston? What's so special about Boston Marathon? I said it's not running Boston. It's qualifying for it because everything in my life right now up into this point has been a decision that somebody else has made. You know, I didn't either my mom, I didn't choose for my mom to die. I didn't choose for my dad to get remarried. I didn't choose for him to get murdered.
Starting point is 01:30:10 but I can choose qualifying for the Boston because I have to put myself through that training period like that training block I have to do the hard work and prove to myself that I can do hard things even though it is my choice so I just want people to know like you can you can do hard things you can get through hard things it's there's always a positive outlook on it and you know I think it is it's kind of weird that people now come to me and they that's like the number one DM I get it's like well my this just happened to me how did you do this I'm like I can't respond to everyone all the time but like I'm so glad that people can find comfort in the way that I help manage things well your story is truly a story of resilience and I think you summarize it so well
Starting point is 01:30:49 in closing it with talking about the cypress trees and how like they learn to be like self-sufficient in the marsh and it's just like the way you share your story with so much vulnerability but then and so it's just it's so candid it's so inspiring and I think that anyone could pick this book up and enjoy it and also just be changed because of it. So thank you for talking with us. Yeah. Thank you so much. And I do want to say like I can only imagine how proud your mom and dad would be of you. Thank you. And I wish they were here to be able to tell you that. But I'm very emotional just all the time. But I just wish that they could tell you that. But I just can only imagine how proud of you that they would be like in the way that
Starting point is 01:31:32 you share your story and the way that you steward your platform and your business and like are becoming such an independent strong adult like thank you it's amazing yeah thank you so much thank you all this is fun she's a new new york times bestselling author so definitely pick up a copy of ghost girl um and you guys we will see you next time yeah i also want to say like we talked about like literally the most sensitive topics so casually so casually because you have like opened that floor up so i just want to say like thank you for having that conversation absolutely it's so heavy and i know it's It's probably like, you're like, this isn't fun for me to talk about. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:32:10 It's fine. I'm like an open book. Yeah. So I appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah. Seriously. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:16 Pick up a copy. Pick up a copy, everybody. Awesome. Thank you. Yeah.

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