The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - The Abby Howard Interview *1 year later*

Episode Date: October 30, 2024

Abby reflects on her tough postpartum journey, shares her thoughts on hormone testing, and opens up about feeling misunderstood as an influencer. She also talks candidly about her views on plastic surgery, life in Hawaii, and how many kids she hopes to have. This episode is sponsored Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/unplanned. Nutrafol: Visit https://nutrafol.com/UNPLANNED for $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping. Mint Mobile: Get this new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just $15/month. Go to https://mintmobile.com/unplanned Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it just me or has TV gotten really complicated? I'm either endlessly searching for my favorite shows or subscribing to a dozen different streaming services to make sure I can watch everything I love. And I'm not even saving that much money compared to my old cable bill. Thankfully, Filo has changed all that for me. One service, all the stuff I need. Filo's got current seasons of the shows you love and can't miss on networks like A&E, MTV, Discovery, and TLC.

Classics like The Office, Martin, and Friends, that you never get sick of, and all the incredible originals on AMC+, from Mad Men to Orphan Black. Don't forget their library of more than 75,000 movies and shows, all of which you can save and re-watch any time for a whole year.

Never miss a minute of shows like Dance Moms, Love It or List It, and Gypsy Rose, Life After Lockup. Best of all, with Filo, you can get all this for just $28 a month. No contracts, no hassles, just one subscription to a world of entertainment. So go to Filo.tv and check it out for a free 7 day trial. That's P-H-I-L-O dot TV to start watching. Have your opinions on boob jobs change? People can be confident and also make alterations

to their appearance. I think they look awesome by the way. I mean, they are sexy in their own right. Don't get me wrong, but they don't look like they did before babies. I'm fully content with the two children we have. But I do think that if I were to like look down the line at my life, I think that there is a member of our family

we haven't met yet. You think you're gonna have an existential crisis whenever our kids leave the house? I don't even know. Don't ask me that question. I'm gonna get therapy before then I'm gonna have to What's up dudes and welcome back to the unplanned podcast Wow my enthusiasm when it's just us Versus when we have guests, it's so different. I was just saying I was just saying if we ever do a podcast in the UK, we need to go, hello dudes!

That's so great. And they're going to think I'm so cool. I don't know, I just feel like that's not a good idea. Maybe not a good idea. I don't know. Anyway, today I'm interviewing Abby, which I did this a year ago. Does anybody care? No, everybody cares. Everyone loves you.

You're awesome. Where am I? This microphone is being finicky. But yeah, I interviewed Abby a year ago and I feel like this is a yearly thing we should do. We should interview each other. Was it a year ago? It was over a year ago, actually.

Yeah, I was gonna say, because we hadn't had Augie. So we're late on this and I feel like we just got, what the frick, this mic? We just need to go ahead and do it. I feel like this would be a fun thing to look back on when we're older. You just reminded me of the Menendez brothers.

What did I do? What did I do that reminded you of them? Just the TV show Monsters when he's messing with the mic. Yes, and they're like, can you scoot forward please? Can you please stop touching the mic? Yes. Please stop touching the mic, yeah. We're getting distracted.

Yeah, I'm sorry. We need to get back on topic. Anyway, we're gonna do this once every single year. I think that'd be cool. And then when we're like 80 years old, we can watch he's back and be like, back in my day, we can show our kids these interviews. And I want to have some more fun. I feel like we like the last time was so serious. I kind of want to like laugh more. So like, let's make some jokes. I was in a serious place.

That's true. And that was that that was that stage of our life. Now we're in this like happy stage, joyful stage. Everything is good. We just moved. We are in a new era. So... And so I just want to know... Well actually, okay, I want to start the interview here. Okay. Last year you said that you felt like your purpose and your passion was being a mom and a wife and a homemaker. Yep. Is that still the way you feel now? Of course it is. So talk to me about that. I feel like that's so rare especially in a day and age where like I feel like everyone on I don't know social media and just the media in general they're like you know empowering women to go be business owners and go be boss babes and do all that stuff but like you're out here saying actually I just want

to be a mom. No I think that's great for those people. I think that the women that are like girl bosses and like not even in a non-sarcastic way Just like actually women that are supporting their family financially. They're creating businesses I am inspired by them, but it's not the type of inspiration that makes me want to do it myself You know, well both of our moms worked like growing up. My mom was an engineer. Your mom was a teacher Well, my mom did want to stay home. Oh yeah, you're right. They just financially couldn't make it happen. And I mean, we had a great child

and we spent so much time with her. And I think looking back, she's like, it's totally fine how it all worked out. But basically I'm so inspired by women that are like, go-getters like that, they're paving new roads. I think it's amazing, it's just not for me. Like I just don't, I kind of, I mean, I think maybe at some period in my life,

but where I'm at right now, I'm just like so freaking content being those things, mom, wife. Homemaker has like a really bad connotation, but like that's essentially what I like doing. I like taking care of our house and making meals. I genuinely love that stuff. Like I love it. Why do you think some people have like this adverse

reaction whenever a woman wants to do those more like quote unquote traditional roles? Because no, because some people can twist that around and make it like an order like if you don't want to do That stuff then it's like you're straying from how you're supposed to be and like how your designs like no It's not because I was made this way because it's just what I like it's why I have an interest in and it just so happens to be like Traditional but it's not like but some guys are like no you have I don't know I'm sure there's some horrible people that I've just like put women in that box

And then if they don't fit in that then they are just mad at them I was so interesting about you is you've always told me this story I remember it clear as day you told your dad when you were a kid that you didn't want to have any kids That was a really short period of my life And it was right after I found out about periods and like childbirth and I was like, yeah I don't want any part of that type of stuff. And your dad was like kind of upset right? Like he wasn't upset but he like knew he was like you're gonna change your mind he's like that's not true and I think he just knew that my mom had given me the

talk. But also like from a parent's perspective if your kids told you they never wanted to have kids I could see where there'd be disappointment like every every parent I would say probably wants to have grandkids, right? Like they'd probably think of this as a fun idea. But I was like also like 12 or 13 at this point. True, true. So I feel like I'd be like, okay, like if Griffin said he wants to be a Paw Patrol when he gets older I'd be like, that's awesome buddy. Like, they're gonna grow up and change their mind or maybe they don't. Yeah. I mean...

But it was mainly just because you found out what a period was and you were terrified. I think so. I don't know. I've started nannying kids when I was like 13. Not nannying, but like babysitting. And then I went into nannying in high school. Like, I was always with kids. I like taught Sunday school.

I taught children's dance lessons. Like, from a very young age, I was like, I want to be with kids and a lot of them and then it just translated into motherhood. Isn't that so interesting though how kids can have such a idea that's so different from what they end up wanting in the future? We are constantly changing our mind and especially as kids you think you know what you want and then you grow up and you figure out so much more about the world and then you have this understanding of what you actually want. When did you feel like you started to understand what you wanted for your life as far as like

being a mom and all of that? I mean, I think it was always something I planned, like not ever like necessarily even said or thought a lot. I was just like, ever like necessarily even said or thought out a lot. I was just like, I'll have a family of my own one day. But it was like this obscure thought obviously that short period when I found out how babies actually came into the world. I was like, yeah, I don't want a part of that. That was just a short period. But the turning point for me was when I fell in love with you. Like that was when I was like, oh my gosh, I want to have the white picket fence, I wanna have so many children, and I just wanna like,

I don't know, I just, all of a sudden, love just made me want to have the storybook love story. Like, you know what I mean? It just made me, everything was just rainbows and sunshine and glitter, and I was like, well, let's just make it fit this fairy tale. And I think that's like what I mean that's what love did for me but like other people like they're so in love and they don't want children and that's what love looks like for them but for me it just came into like I wanted to have a fairy tale

that was so powerful like going through that together we both completely changed our college degrees. We were crazy. Okay, we combined our finances like love does some crazy things to your brain. And we also did that all before our brains were fully developed while we were still we felt so hard so fast teenagers. Right. Like it's kind of wild how falling in love with someone can literally change the entire trajectory of your life. It's beautiful. I think it's beautiful. I think there's circumstances where people have that and maybe the outcome wasn't what they were hoping for. For sure.

But I would say we got lucky in that. I think I look at all this stuff through rose colored glasses just because I personally have had such a good experience, but I know that's not the reality for a lot of people. And I know that's why a lot of women are like, if I, I want the opposite of traditional because they maybe grew up in an environment that was quote unquote traditional,

but it was very like domineering. And the woman didn't feel like, their mom didn't feel like they could, you know, be independent or have a say so, or do what they wanted to do. They had other passions that they couldn't pursue. They felt restricted by this. And so like, I didn't have that experience growing up.

So then like, it was such pleasant, safe thing, you know? Do you remember the conversation that we had when we decided to switch our degrees? What happened there? Well, you know, that's the thing about being young. Not that we aren't still young, but that fresh, 18 years old, like nothing felt like a big deal.

Do you remember that? We did a big switch there by changing our degrees. Obviously a lot of people do, and we were also surrounded by people that were changing their degrees. True, do you remember that? Like, we did a big switch there by changing our degrees. Obviously a lot of people do. And we were also surrounded by people that were changing their degrees. It wasn't like super uncommon, but we did do like kind of a hard turn because we went from theater to finance,

like, and I went from theater to education. But like, that's kind of a hard turn, but it's just like the fact of being 18, like nothing feels that serious. So you're like, I remember, I'm pretty sure, I honestly think we graduated that fall semester still thinking we were going to come back. Like, I think it was literally over Christmas break. I remember being at my grandma's condo and I was like, I don't think

I'm going to do that anymore. Like, I think we'd had a couple conversations, but I hadn't brought it up to my parents. Then I told them, I was like, I think I'm done. Like, I don't know. I really, it was really casual. Because we didn't start second semester of college as freshmen in the arts program anymore. We were completely out of it. Yeah. That was actually a very big change for us to make. It didn't feel like serious at the time for some reason. I think it's when you're so in love too. Like, you're just like, I'm going to do,

like I'm willing to sacrifice things. We said this too. And not even sacrifice, but like change like the trajectory of what I thought was gonna happen so that we can do it together, you know? Yeah. I wasn't sad about it. Like I remember my mom being like, well is this like disappointing? Because it never felt also like giving up on my dreams. Oh yeah, I remember my mom and I think she was probably just I had already processed all this and she was just coming to terms with it, but she's like, I drove you every single summer to be in 17 different productions at this professional theater, the Muni in St. Louis, and she's like, now you're just like

Gonna give it all up. I don't think our parents at least in my in this case my mom I don't think she had any sort of selfish reasoning there I think she just was trying to process like wow Are you sure this is what you want to do? This is a big change and we kind of that was when we decided to well because it also didn't feel like closing that door ever Fully like I was just like we're just not gonna get our degrees in this area. I don't know. It wasn't like a Sad thing wasn't something I mourned or grieved, you know in any way Something that you told me before that I thought was so interesting about you in middle school is that as your body started to develop, you like would wear these restricting tops to try to like hide the fact that you were like developing and stuff. Do you feel the same way now as a mom,

like as your body's changing now, do you find yourself doing similar things to try to stop the change, if that makes sense? Or are you like embracing the changes you have now as a mother? I feel like I'm embracing it, but it's not like I haven't changed what I wear. So I don't know by what definition of embracing it means. I think embracing the sense that I truly love my body and I don't just love, I like the

way that, I really like the way that it looks, but I truly love it because of what it can do and I feel like that's an amazing, like really healthy place to be at. But it'd be unrealistic to say like, oh, I'm going to wear the same stuff I wore pre-baby. Like I'm not really into the, not that I wore a ton of crop tops, but I did at times. I'm not really into showing my belly button area as much anymore. I just have like loose skin. My belly button doesn't look the same post double hernia and babies and everything. So I don't like show that skin if that's the question. I don't really- I still wear- Why not rock it though? Like why not rock the fact that your skin tells a story of having a baby I mean I understand that but I

also just feel like It's not coming out of a place of insecurity. Yeah as it's coming out of a place of like I want to always Present myself in a way that I feel comfortable and confident Yeah, and it's not really through the end lens of like oh, I want to hide this it's more I'm just like oh, I like this because it makes me I don't know. I feel like I can behave and not like this. Here's the other thing. If I'm wearing something that I'm like, oh, I feel a little uncomfortable about this.

Then I'm spending my whole time thinking about like, oh, how does that look from like the way I'm sitting now or how does this look or what is this? You know, I'm just like being present and like hanging out and can actually be a better listener to other people and be present, you know? If someone asked me to put on a bikini right now, I would put it on. That makes sense. Like I can see how if you are too self-aware

because you're showing something that you're a little uncomfortable with, how that can take your brain off of. And honestly, it's really not something that I'm a little uncomfortable. Like I show it, I've even put it online. Like I'm not ashamed of it, but I just think there's like certain contexts

where I'm like, now that I'm a mom, I'm like, I don't really feel like I'm reaching for that as much. I know it's really not that serious Like it's not like a thing. I'm like, I'm so insecure about this or it's not a thing where it's like I just want everyone to see it because I'm so proud of it. It's like I don't necessarily attribute my skin and my body to like those Things about my identity as much. I don't know if that makes sense. What would you say shapes your identity most now in the stage of life that you're in?

I honestly feel like it's the same stuff as always. Like it's been, it's always been like, you know, it went from granddaughter, sister, friend. And now like the main thing is like wife, mom, friend, like that's still there, daughter, all those things are still there, but it's, I don't know, like I guess I don't really know what a normal answer would be for that. It doesn't have to be anything, like it doesn't have to be anything crazy, it can literally be whatever the heck you want it to be. Something that I find so interesting about you is like you got so excited to make cookies for the neighbors and I was like happy for

you or like just cooking and cleaning in the kitchen and stuff and you got so excited about it. In my head I'm like if I can afford to not like have to cook her myself or whatever, like I'm almost going to outsource that to something else so I can have more time to like go to the park with my kids or something. But for you, like you got genuinely so excited to just like cook in our kitchen and so excited. I love our new kitchen. Our kitchen is just insane. To bake cookies for the neighbors. Talk to me about that. I don't. I'm so bored.

Like, why are we going to have a whole interview talking about the things that just make me happy? Talk to me about baking cookies. I love baking cookies. I love going to the grocery store. I love trying a new recipe. I love going to the park with the kids. I love going to the gym with my friends. I love. I set up a new recipe. I love going to the park with the kids. I love going to the gym with my friends

I love I set up a book club. I'm so excited to read my book club book like This is really a time for me. I love getting off a ebulls I love I love just getting my doing my makeup and hair for the day Like I just like love so many things about my day like my days are pretty like if I were to write down Okay, I went to like, love so many things about my day. Like, my days are pretty, like, if I were to write down, okay, I went to the gym, like, it seems very, like, maybe mundane. But, like, I don't know. I'm like, if someone were to come with me through my day, I feel like I could just show them all the things about it that I'm like,

this is so cool and so fun. And I get to be around really fun and sweet people. And it's, like, not mundane. Thank you to Rocket Money for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. If you have unwanted subscriptions that you cannot get rid of, Rocket Money is probably the easiest place to get rid of those subscriptions. For real. With just a few simple taps on your phone, boom, they're gone.

I did it myself with the Rocket Money app. We've had the app for, I want to say over a year now, and it's been so helpful with our finances. It lets you see graphs and charts, how much money is coming in and going out of your bank account. And they just make it so easy to manage your finances, cancel unwanted subscriptions, and negotiate your bills. They negotiated our security bill for our home down to $29.99 a month. And it was like a lot more than- Is that like a real person with Rocket Money goes and like- I actually have no idea.... toggles them? I'll be honest, I have no idea how they do that, but they did it. I was very impressed because our bill, I want to say our bill at one point was like 50 bucks a month.

That's actually really impressive because you went and called again and tried to lower it again and they were like, no, they were at their bottom line. They want to do it for me, but they did it for rocket money. That's crazy. Their negotiator must be freaking good. Rockets money is incredible. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. I truly think it's our generation's way of managing our finances well because it's

so user friendly. You can do it right on your phone and it just has so many different tools that just make it digestible for someone that's not like, I'm not a financial advisor. I don't know. I don't know these things. It can be overwhelming, but Rocket Money makes it easy and Rocket Money is over five million users and has saved a total of $500 million in cancelled subscriptions, saving members

up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. And that's just extra money in your pocket. I don't understand who wouldn't want a little extra money in their pocket. Why would you not want more money in your pocket? I don't understand word who wouldn't want a little extra money I'm not what more money in your pocket So stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your own one of the subscriptions by going to rocket money comm slash unplanned That's rocket money comm slash unplanned rocket money comm slash unplanned What I resonate with you on is the whole parenting thing like spending time with our kids You can't put a price on that. Like stopping what I'm doing in the day

to go put the boys down for their naps, love it. I just love to hold them and sing to them and read them a book. And it's just like, it's so fun to have that quality time because there's nothing that you can replace that with. Like that is so special. But yeah, I guess like for me, the whole fun of cookies is eating the cookies.

I didn't eat one of those. I know. And that's just like, wow, you love the process of baking. You love the process of doing all these things. That's it. In life, I just love the process too. That's a good thing. That's a really good thing. I think it's dangerous to be in a place where you're always just excited for the result. I think that can be a dangerous area to be in because then you're living for the future in a way and you're not enjoying the moment. And then once the future comes, then you're just excited for the next future.

If that makes sense. I mean, there's definitely been times I've been guilty of that. Yeah, I'm very guilty of that. I'll be honest. I do that crap all the time. Yeah. This is who you are though. You're a thrill seeker.

Yeah. And I love that about you. Part of that has to do with like ADHD and crap. I've talked about that. I'm going to shut up because this is not my interview. This is your interview. But I just, I love that you love to bake and I love that for you. And I think it's so awesome. Sometimes I'm like trying to impress you with how crazy my day is. then I'm like you think it's crazy that we fed a cow I love that video you showed me the video of you feeding the cow and it was just a picture But that cow looks hilarious. How's the funny looking cow too, but I don't know like it's literally so Not it's so normal. So chill. Yeah, I'm so boring I think when you can find the fun. Exactly. And boring. Exactly.

That's when you've figured it out. Exactly. Right. It's not even like I don't even think of it as boring at all. Just like find fun in the things that you have to do. Like I went on a rant on Instagram one time about this because people were like this is pathetic, this is sad. Because I was like I love folding laundry and I was like it's my time that I am by myself, which doesn't happen a lot. I turn on a podcast and I just get to do a mindless task, but I also feel productive and I get to listen to my favorite podcasts and I get to enjoy a little me time.

And that's what it was, calling it me time was like, this is sad. I'm like, I do a lot of other things for quote unquote me time. But why can't sad. I'm like, I do a lot of other things for like quote unquote me time. But like, why can't we make something that we have to do also something fun because here's the thing, then you're gonna be living your whole life, like you said, waiting for, waiting to enjoy something

when you can just joy right now. I think you hit the nail on the head there. Obviously there's things I'm like, okay, I would really, I would like to skip this and I don't really feel the need to romanticize this. But I don't know, I feel like there's very few things that you can't make it a little bit more enjoyable for yourself. I'm trying to think. Like have you ever thought about getting a special drink? That just makes everything a million times better. And you're onto something.

Like after the doctor, I don't like going to the doctor. I don't hate it. Obviously, if like baby appointments are like exciting and fun. Yeah. but like I had when I got my IUD I wasn't like looking for that. So I was like afterwards I'm gonna get myself a special treat and special drink and then I just made it fun I romanticize getting an IUD so I mean if you can do that then you can really It's anything so we talked about our pregnancy scare thing. You're not pregnant We we know you're not pregnant. It wasn't even like a scare, but I was just like, am I? You had all the symptoms, but I think it was just something different. No, we were having a bug, turns out.

Yes, you got sick. You got me sick. But let's chat about babies. I feel like that is such a topic. Yeah, people ask me every day. That's always the conversation that gets brought up. How do you like having two? Do you want to go try for a third? I know I ask other people that too. And I do it all all I'm guilty of it Like I literally just met a couple at the park yesterday when I was at the park with Griffin and Auggie and I was like

One of the questions I asked them and I was like gosh dang it everybody does this what they say and I think they said they were done. They had three boys, but that's perfect So talk to me that about that and I'm I'm not gonna state my opinion on anything because this is not my interview. We did say we weren't gonna talk about this for a while but you have free rein to share your truth right here. Well I grew up as one of two and I always said growing up that more than two is perfect because now, Karina, I love my family. My family is extremely close-knit and it was great. But I always kind of wish that there was like another buddy there and I think I always said like four after that but I

don't know. I don't know. Yeah,, I don't. It's obviously an us decision. Hold up though, what happened with four? Cause for a while you did say four. So wouldn't it change? No, I still would love four. Really? Yeah. So three is like, you kind of like trying to say your-

Three is like a compromise. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Got it. So even though you just said that that was perfect with that other family had, you were just saying that because in your head you're making a compromise there. Yeah, I've always said four would be perfect because then you have two pairs.

And in my mind I'm like, four would be so cool. And I honestly think about in every stage, and it's not about the number, I'm fully content with the two children we have. I am fully, fully, fully content. But I do think that if I were to like look down the line in my life, I think that there is a member of our family we haven't met yet. I just say I'm saying that I'm just saying that. Okay what is up with this? But obviously it's an us decision. We met our neighbors, we've been

meeting so many neighbors at our new house, but um one of our neighbors came up and they have two boys as well. There's like so many neighbors have boys. And they said that the husband told me that he's so content with two. The wife wants to go for another one. Eight months old. Everyone says that after when you have an eight month old. No, but like, what is up? Because I feel like this is not just us.

It's not just other couples. It's just not just like a few people. It's so many couples where the husband seems like content with the number They have and the wife wants more like what do you think is? Usually I would say typically the mom identifies more at with the title mom. Yeah, and like caretaker than necessarily dad Identifies with dad and caretaker like obviously that's a part of your identity, but like if it was a pie for me mom is like Like obviously that's a part of your identity, but like if it was a pie for me mom is like

Such a huge chunk of that pie. Yeah, it's like it might be a smaller slice for some dads, you know But that doesn't mean that their kids are any less important than it's nothing It's nothing to say that but it just makes up so much of my identity Yeah, like how I personally identify and I honestly have to keep that in check Because that's not healthy for my kids all the time. You're my baby, stay my baby because this is something I need to feel comfortable with myself. So I'm not saying that that makes you a better parent, but it's just like a thing. So if it's a bigger chunk of how I identify, then it's like, oh well, then this is my thing. I want to keep doing this thing and extend it as long as possible.

So then you feel like you have value for as long as possible. And that that gets deep, man. Do you think you're going to have an existential crisis whenever our kids leave the house? Don't even ask. Why? Don't ask me that question! I'm gonna get therapy before then, I'm gonna have to. Stop! Don't even look at me right now, we have this together.

Where was it that you broke into tears because you thought about Griffin and Nagi going off to college? I was probably pregnant. Was I pregnant? I think that, I think it was before you even gave birth to Griffin. Yeah, I mean here's the thing. Let's just say that when I'm pregnant nothing counts as far as tears. Nothing can be trusted. Tears can't be trusted. That's the thing too. We need to have another because they're gonna leave back to back and I don't think that my heart can take that. Look I'm just proud of us for making it through all the pregnancies and the back to back and the 202. We freaking did it. We need to celebrate that. Do you know how many couples that like end up splitting because of how kids change your

relationship? It's a lot and we made it. No I don't think we made it. I think we made it. Our kids are one and two. We still have to pour into our relationship. We're out of two under two though. Yes, that is that has changed. That was the pressure point. That was the area that's like this is going to be really hard. And we did it. We did do it. We freaking did it. No, I saw this TikTok of a mom who was like POV. You're you had kids and it completely changed everything in your relationship and now you split. It was like something along those lines. There was a time like definitely like when I was struggling postpartum where I didn't feel like close with anybody.

Like none of my relationships felt normal. I kind of felt like I was in my own little bubble and that of course, that affected every one of my relationships but of course it affected my relationship with you and to be on this side of things now and like it took work and it took diligence and time but like we're in such a comfortable joyful spot again and that doesn't mean that

times aren't gonna be tough again but it just means that like I know how deep our relationship goes here. I was listening to this youtuber who has written like a ton of self-help books and something that he said was in order to change your behavior, sometimes you need to change your environment and your environment dictates so much of what you do. Like I think- That happened to me.

Yes, right? Like obviously you're gonna have your character put to the test when you're going through postpartum. You're gonna learn a lot about yourself and how you handle these very difficult things, but in the same way when you're trying to make better relationships or find something new in your life that brings you joy, sometimes you have to completely change your environment and I feel like the move was part of that for us. Like I already see good things coming out of

this move, I see new relationships being formed. And I guess the reason I'm saying that right now is because I want to encourage anybody out there that's like that feels stuck. That feels like they're in some, some trap that they can't get out of some hole that they can't somehow find their way out of. Change your environment. Maybe it's a move. Maybe it's a career change. Maybe it's, I don't know. Maybe the relationship is, is toxic and they need to get out of the relationship. When you change your environment, it can change so much for you. And I feel like we just did that with the move and that was so good.

I'm so happy. So I don't want to reveal too many details because we definitely want to keep our privacy and like be mindful of our children and all that. Well, didn't we film a tour of it? We do. I think the tour will be out by now. Okay, yeah. So you guys can literally go watch the house tour.

I mean, it's not too private, I guess. That's true. Like you can see inside of it. Yeah. We just don't want to like share the tour will be out by now. So you guys can literally go watch the house tour. It's not too private, I guess. You can see inside of it. Yeah, we just don't want to share the outside of our house and stuff. No. We don't want to... Don't even say it. We're not going to say it. Anyway, but talk to me about the house. Tell me about the stuff that you love. I know you said the kitchen is something that you really like. First and foremost, I love the location. I really feel a part of a community where we're at.

I think since we've been to college, I haven't felt a part of a community. I think I have a high need for social interaction. Yeah. I'm a social butterfly. No, I just love being around. I was telling you on the right way here, I love being around and talking to other people.

It really gives me energy and makes me so happy and excited, but I don't necessarily want the attention on me. I'm happy and excited. But I don't necessarily want like the attention on me. Like I'm not like the type of like, I don't know, I'm not like the Clath Clown, Doshir person, you know. But I just like to be there. But anyway, so first and foremost, just like where the house is. Secondly, the kitchen.

The kitchen is literally a kitchen of my dreams with double ovens, big fridge. Like it's someone that like wants to cook and host people It's their perfect setup like the fridge is actually a big range a big fridge I didn't notice this until recently but our our fridge has all these like drawers and stuff that make organizations So yeah easy Isn't that amazing that you have like a fruit drawer and a vegetable drawer and like the cheese drawer. Look we've had we had that in our last fridge but this one has even more compartments. No like you know that

odd that I think there's a video going around it was like if my son won the lottery he wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs and they just show a bunch of pictures of blueberries. Like that would be me. It's like if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs and they just show a bunch of pictures of blueberries. Like that would be me. It's like, if I won the lottery, I wouldn't tell anyone, but there would be signs and my signs would be like, I would have the pantry and fridge of like the stay at home soccer mom's dreams. Like with like organized bins of like, you know, go-gurts and like cliff bars and clementines and grapes and like it would just all be organized anyway that bridge is the setup for that and I've kind of

started to dabble well if you look in our pantry though you crush looking good you crush it with the pan I don't know how long it's gonna last I told people I was like this is the cleanest it's ever gonna be feel like we need to do a tick-tock pantry tour because it looks pretty cool. Phenomenal. It's pretty fun. But have you seen like Kardashians pantry? I haven't but I'm just saying. It looks like a convenience store. Really? Because I feel like you could enter a pantry organization competition. I think the key is to like not keep stuff in your house that you're not gonna end up eating because then it just clutters it up and so like just be mindful when you're shopping you're like

oh am I gonna use all this or is it just some impulse buy that I'm not actually gonna want yeah okay so the kitchen yes I love that our boys have their own like little I'm calling it a wing with their bathroom and they each have their own room which is so nice and I love that for them I can't wait to like decorate that and make that like fit both of their little personalities so perfectly and I just think the setup is just like so perfect for like I want to be there a long time I'm not like I'm not gonna say how long I want to live in this house because I feel like it might freak you out being the wanderer free spirit that you are but close your ears I want wanna live in this house until her kids are grown up

and maybe even longer. Okay. I heard every word of that. Oh, you stinker. No. Heard every single word. I'm just like, I'm so, so happy being here and I love it and we really need to do the backyard

because that could easily be one of my favorite things about this house But right now it's just dirt. So it's not very useful. Yeah We could just put in like a little mini dirt bike track and get some dirt bikes for our kids. One year olds love dirt bikes Thank you to NutriFull for sponsoring this portion of today's episode I have shared recently that my new goal is to grow my hair to my butt. That's impressive. I know it's been to my butt before but it's been probably like four or five years. I'm so glad you're mentioning Nutri-Full though because I literally just ran out of my Nutri-Full pills and I need to refill my bottle

because I've been so consistent with taking them which is what you need to do in order to see results. It takes consistency. Yeah it says three to six months. So Nutri-Full is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement. You heard me, number one recommended hair growth supplement brand. Trusted by over one million people. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair

with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutri-Ful. I really like Nutri-Ful, it's very easy. You just take the pills every day, four pills a day. It's physician formulated with 100% drug-free ingredients. NutriFull supports healthy hair growth from within by targeting key root causes of thinning, which is stress, hormones, aging, nutrition,

lifestyle, and metabolism, through whole body health. They're targeting the root causes of why you might be experiencing shedding. Get results you can run your fingers through. For a limited time, NutriFull's offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to whenever Griffin and Auggie move out of the house. Yes. What do you think was like a time in your life where you were like I didn't know what the heck to do? Like I didn't know left from right, I didn't know myself, and

how did you get out? I mean I really just think postpartum was the first time i've like struggled with my identity Yeah, like that but I was really sad and i've talked about this before too. Like when we lived in hawaii, I was like Probably depressed even though no one I didn't invite any type of therapist or counselor into that situation But I would not be surprised if they would have been like, hey, you have depression. I don't know, I mean, I felt what I imagined the press would feel like by the end of it, you know?

Which is crazy that life circumstances can bring out something like that. Yeah, it really was related to circumstances because as soon as we left, I didn't feel that way. And it's not because of Hawaii, it was because of just the lack of community. And I'm someone that just like, that's a necessity for me. Leaving Hawaii, you think for you was like the right move.

Well, yeah, but I also felt bad because like you loved it so much. You totally made a sacrifice and like picking up and leaving, making a huge change like that. And that's something that I'm like grateful for, but also like kind of bad because you made a big sacrifice for me in that way and so that's something I kind of always feel like a little guilty for so maybe one day we return I don't know whenever we move out and I have Prozac when no I'm just kidding is that a depression medication yes actually somebody was saying that on TikTok the other day and I didn't even know what medicine was and I looked it up

And I think that I think that actually I've heard of that before We're not gonna move back and then you have to get on No, no, no, I would I would I would set things up differently Okay, that was dramatic You're clearly in a very happy space and I love that for you so much. Do you feel like part of it was your gym? I mean there's a lot of things like that have I think contributed to the way I feel. You know going to the gym really helps with like it's proven. I don't know the science but you like release

hormones makes you feel good. There's research that shows that working out, physical activity has the same effect on your brain as like certain antidepressants and stuff like that. Okay so there's that. Going outside, like going and doing an activity outside or just like going on a walk after dinner just like being outside. Such a good healthy thing that we can now do a lot more of because it's cooling off in Arizona, it's lovely. Hanging out with my kids and like actually being present with them, which is something that I pride myself in.

I feel like we always are very present when we're around our children. I love to cook, I love to read. I like to, you know, watch a show with you, have a little special drink, have a little special treat. I love having dinner plans with friends, I love going to events, like we have a fall party tonight, we have a pumpkin party tomorrow night,

we have like so many like events and we're going on a trip, like I love having plans. Like that gives me something to look forward to, it doesn't even have to be crazy, like I'm like, maybe on Saturday we'll go to like a little costume party with the kids. Like that's something that I'm like, having that plan makes me so excited and like something to look forward to. Another big thing too is like restricting social media app usage.

Like I love podcasts so don't get off of this podcast right now if you're watching it and you're entertained by it. I don't think it's unhealthy for you. But I do think that social media in general is a very damaging thing. Even if it's a good person that inspires you, you can't have too much, too many dosages of social media just because it's like such a quick, I don't know the science behind it, but it doesn't make you feel good. And you're just scrolling and tapping through everyone's stories or scrolling through reels or TikToks or reading comments.

All comments are just so disgusting. Think about all the beautiful things that you can do that will also be entertaining but won't make you feel bad. And so I really think that people would be shocked. I don't really use, I've talked about this before, so maybe they wouldn't be shocked, but I don't use that much social media and I feel amazing because of it.

Something that I actually learned from going to your gym and seeing all the friends that you've made at your gym is like you meet so many people and not only that, you actually go to the gym because you're paying money for it and you're like, I'm gonna get my butt to the gym and go work out. And so now you're making more friends you feel better you look better like I truly believe in paying for a gym membership I really do and if you're paying money for it you're actually going to use

it maybe if you're that kind of person maybe that's just me yeah well no I think that's a lot of people and another part of it too that I think is kind of funny is it's almost like you're paying to make friends in a way Right, but it's but it's good like you I Don't know. It's like it's worth it Right, like if you need to make friends and you feel lonely and isolated sure pay for gym membership make some friends at the gym make some friends with people that are Clearly motivated to like get out of the house and do something and you know take care of their body like you want to be around people that are on the up-and-up

wait I should do a segment on how making how you can make friends as an adult because it's very hard wait that is genius specifically as a mom that is a specifically difficult time I think to make friends because you were probably alone for a while while at the end of your pregnancy and the birth with a newborn, you didn't get out a lot. And then you're already maybe struggling with identity and kind of scared to get out of your house. Like that's a specifically difficult time.

I'm saying this like it's easy, but it's not. But it takes you having a little initiative, but you can have confidence in taking initiative and knowing that like literally probably 20 out of 21 times, that mom is also desperately one in connection with another mother. Yeah. Or like just to have a good friend or someone to lean on and rely on. Like they also are seeking that.

So you can feel confident in that. Joining a gym that has childcare is a really cool special thing you can do because a lot of other moms will be there. They will probably have children the same age and so then you go to the gym it's like oh hey what are you doing after this like maybe we could just go take them to the park together we could go to this library of story time and then things naturally progress from there or if you don't go to the gym go to toddler activities and then guess what toddlers can't drive themselves there. They're there with a mom usually or maybe someone else, but or a dad or someone else,

but you're there with other parents. And then, hey, where do you live around here? Natural conversation. Oh my gosh, like we live close there. We should, have you ever tried this place? Then you can go to a restaurant, your kids can be entertained with each other. It's gonna be crazy, but there's someone else that also knows that going to restaurants

with kids is very different from going to restaurants before having kids, but you just embrace that messiness and that silliness together. And then you find yourself like, oh wait, we have this birthday, he's turning two, we have this birthday party, and then you're in another place with a bunch of parents and little kids, and it just spirals from there, and then you just have this network of people that like, oh hey, we're gonna be in this area, you wanna come? And like, we're going to Splash Pad.

You wanna throw them in the car with their little swim diapers on, we can go splash around together, and then if you're available, you can go, it's just, I don't know, did that even make any sense? I thought that was really good. Just don't be afraid to include people. Like if you're available, you can go. It's just, I don't know, did that even make any sense? I thought that was really good. Just don't be afraid to include people. Like if you're gonna go do something,

hey, I might text so and so if they can come too. Like they would love it probably. And then it's just so fun. You should write a book about that. Well, I don't think I'm really good at putting it into words. I hope that made sense. But I'm just saying like, have confidence that so many other people are wanting that exact same, but I'm just saying like have confidence that

So many other people are wanting that exact same are feeling the same way like I know it can feel lonely But a lot of other people feel that same way It's funny because we're entering the stage where all of our friends become the parents of our kids friends Wait, say that again our kids friends their parents are gonna be our friends Yeah, you notice that like all of your parents' friends, who are they? They're the parents of your friends. Or someone that you went to school with. Well, what came first, the chicken or the egg?

Did your parents kind of, you know, secretly hand pick who you're gonna be friends with? Because that kinda happened with... A little bit, yeah, when I was like a little, little kid, my friends, when I was really little, were that way. They were the kids. Yeah, I think those are the friends you call family friends.

But then a lot of them, but then my parents' friends changed over time. Yeah. And my friends changed over time too. Yeah. But then after the initial few years of being like a one, two, three year old, then I was the one, you know, playing sports, doing shows, meeting all these kids, and that's when my parents ended up like adapting their friends because of the people they're around. And I think that'll happen to us. That'll happen. that's great. Matt, I just literally had a random thought that I just had to share with you

because I meant to tell you this, but I took the kids to a duck pond. Okay. And there was, I think it was the sweetest thing of my life. And something in general I have a tender spot for is holding hands. I just think it's so tender. Like two people just hanging on to each other.

Especially when it's like Griffin with his little friends, they hold hold hands but then there was this elderly couple holding hands and walking down to the pond and it was so sweet I was like that's gonna be me and Matt one day and I would be like it was sweet like I don't know and I was even looking at the little ducks and I think being a mom like becoming a mom just made me feel like such a tenderness for all moms like this is so Silly sounding but like mother ducks. I'm like they're doing the best they can try to keep their flock together and like You know they're making sure they stay together and it's hard because one keeps running off

And I'm like I love that mother duck. She's working so hard like I don't know That's cute like I don't know. That's cute. Like, I don't know. I just feel like it's such a connectedness even with like animal moms. I'm getting too sentimental. This is what happens when you're on a podcast.

They put lights in your face and a mic in front of you and it just makes you cry. Me cry. I don't even cry that much anymore because I'm not pregnant. You really don't actually. We're postpartum. Yes. You kind of are a different person now.

Here's the thing. I'm a touched crier now, but not like a sad crier. Yeah. But not even really a touched crier. Like nothing really just... I don't know. I think maybe I had something wrong with me. You did not have anything wrong with you. No, I definitely... I think that is something that I would probably wrong with me. You did not have anything wrong with me. No, I definitely, I think that is something that I would probably be proactive about. I think it's because we had them so close together,

but in hindsight, I probably could have maybe sought some help. You told me this the other day. Or seen my OB and been like, hey, these things are happening. And I think, and if I was being really honest with my OB I think she would have said Hey, there's things we can do to make this better for you

Like I think I was just like so down bad. I didn't realize It didn't it wasn't normal Like I was like this is how it is now. I felt like defeated in that place I guess. You mentioned something about that to me the other day and I wanted to ask you about that. You mentioned like getting your estrogen or testosterone levels checked. I was talking to other moms about this on a playdate I was like yeah it's like talking about my postpartum. No it was at actually a girls night. We were painting

pumpkins. Okay. And oh that's my other tip Sorry for making friends as adults do something that is regular So it's like we meet once a month with this group. It's an open invite. It's not like this exclusive clicky thing It's like you can hey if someone wants to join like have them come we meet on this time like doing monthly or weekly It's just like something that's routine Like I'm doing a book club. It's gonna be monthly like that's something that like You don't feel like you have to take as much initiative to start because it's like, oh, we do this once a month. So it's kind of like an understood thing,

it's an easy segue for like reoccurring hangouts. But I was there and they were like, you know, you can test, and I've heard of people doing this, I don't know why I didn't do it. You can get your hormones checked, and if there's an imbalance, then you can just get, I don't know,. You can get your hormones checked and if there's an imbalance then you can just get, I don't know, I'm not a doctor but you can basically just get an infusion. Like they rebalance your hormones? They can help you rebalance your hormones postpartum. While you have a baby inside

of you? No no no. Oh it's after, oh it's postpartum. Got it, got it. Okay that makes sense. Yeah I don't know I feel like pregnancy like you that might just be par for the course. But aren't there certain medicines though that people can even take, like, certain antidepressants that they can take while they're pregnant? There's nothing? I don't think you can.

I thought there was something that people could do. I don't even know if I needed that. I think I just was hormonal. Yeah. Maybe I just needed a good nap, you know? I was probably really tired the whole time I was pregnant. I didn't stop. I always try to get you to nap and you wouldn't want a nap

Maybe next time I'll take naps and get my hormones checked afterwards You're funny you you should take maybe not breastfeed because that also made me psycho in hindsight As hard as that would be to decide to do because I'd feel so guilty about it It might just not be for me. Even though my boobs make a lot of milk. Maybe I just say, hey, you know, there's a lot of things I can do for my kid that don't involve being their main source of food. Remember that picture that I showed you the other day? Was that not bonkers? Yeah, never do that again. That was what, like, just, I had forgotten how big they were. And I showed you the picture and I was like, that is arguably larger than a, you know, a basketball.

It was longer, no, there was an audio. There's an audio that's like, is it there another way? You know, the audio from Nemo? And it was like me with the lactation gets along with my humongous, engorged breasts, trying to feed my tiny newborn baby. There's gotta be another way. Like, because it's so huge.

It's just abnormal. But like, oh my god. I just think it's interesting how the advice in that area is so, can be so specific. Like people were telling you, like the lactation lady told you not to use the nipple shield, which you wanted to use and you told her you wanted to use. And you're like, lady, like, are we really worried about my supply not being enough here? Because I think I got, I think I have the opposite problem.

These girls think they're feeding twins. No, yeah, I don't know. I feel like the lactation consultants are just doing their best and they're they can only do Give it advice to like what they normally see commonly see There's some outliers that they might not know how to advise as well. That's the thing about motherhood. I've realized You know, we really could have done size fits all you really should have done a parenting class Like I feel like that could have maybe been a good Yeah thing to do to prepare so like we kind of just got thrown into the fire like right away, you know We really should have done a parenting class. Like I feel like that could have maybe been a good Yeah.

thing to do to prepare. So like we kind of just got thrown into the fire like right away. You know? Yeah. I don't know. I think it all worked out. Oh it did. It definitely did all work out.

Yeah. Thank you to Mint Mobile for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. You guys, Mint Mobile is offering phone bills as low as $15 a month. That doesn't even sound real. I don't even know how they're able to do that. If you purchase a three month plan, you literally get a wireless for $15 a month. That's such a good deal.

It kind of feels like it's fake. Well, we know that they do because our sister-in-law got a plan with Mint Mobile. She used it and it was super easy to use the website. It took her just a couple taps to purchase the plan and it had a super easy activation system with just the use of an eSIM card that she did all from her couch. So to get started, all you have to do is go to mittmobile.com slash unplanned and there you'll see that right now all three month plans are only $15 a month including

the unlimited plan, which is crazy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, that $15 plan is for unlimited data? For right now. Whoa! All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. You can Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, the phone store, trade your phone, get a physical SIM card, you're like, you don't know if you're on your phone number or anything saved. No, it's literally all done from your couch. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mentmobile.com slash unplanned. That's mentmobile.com slash unplanned. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mentmobile.com slash unplanned.

$45 upfront payment required, equivalent to 15 bucks a month at mentmobile.com slash unplanned. $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to 15 bucks a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speeds slower above 45 gigabytes on our unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. My next question for you is have your opinions on boob jobs changed? Because you-

I kind of dropped that bombshell Yeah, you dropped the bombshell the other day and I was like, wow, I didn't know you're gonna publicly say that I know I've been talking in private with people about it and I just don't even I don't know I don't care like my thoughts on plastic surgery have changed and I'm trying to analyze or I'm in the analyzing stage right now Yeah to see is this coming from a negative place or is this coming from an open-minded place. Open-minded is beautiful and positive. If it's coming from a place of like, oh, I don't want to do this for you, I hate my current

state, then I don't want to do it, if that makes sense. I'm being patient and trying to understand where this is coming from. Let me clarify, I never thought plastic surgery was bad for other people. Like I was like, you know, people wanna do something, it really does not affect me, and if it makes them feel confident, I'm all for it. But for me, I don't wanna do that.

So that's where my background's coming from. Now, my stance on plastic surgery may have changed, or I'm like, maybe that is something I kinda wanna do. And I think that my stance had been shaped a lot by my environment and by family speaking into me as a child. And I think it all came from a really good place of wanting to love yourself. And you're beautiful just the way you are.

And I think that's an incredible message message especially to share with young girls. I think now I'm in a place where I'm like yes I do love myself. This does not feel like maybe this isn't something that is not showing my body love. Like maybe it's just something that's like oh this is something that can be an enhancement that would be something that could really have a lot of fun with and enjoy. And I feel like that's kind of like what my teeth were. Like I love the way my teeth look. Yes, they are fake, you know?

I don't care. I like them. And I'm like, I think that's the first thing that I was just like, you know, it's really not that serious. Like, I don't know. That's a good way to put it. It's not that deep. It's just not that deep.

It's not that deep. I think it's so easy. It's not tied with my identity. Yes. And so I think I'm now learning, I'm like, what are the things that make up my identity? And it's like, in my identity, I believe myself to be beautiful. I love that. I love my body.

I love the way it served me and I like the way that it looks. Yeah. And it doesn't mean that I don't view myself as beautiful if I choose to do that. I think I'm separating all those thoughts about myself. I think you're so right. I think for whatever reason,

sometimes humans have this like tendency to project their values and their beliefs onto other people. And I think you gotta just have to respect other people's piece. Like if somebody have to respect other people's peace. Like if somebody wants to dye their hair purple, like who the frick cares? If they wanna do that and that's the thing they wanna do, let them live. Let them live their life and if you, I don't know, say you don't think their hair looks

as good purple, okay, that's totally fine. You don't need to comment that on the internet, okay? Like it's, I think we need to like, we need to normalize a conversation of how weird it is to leave negative comments on people's videos on the internet. So bizarre, it's really. I have never done that in my life. Have you ever left a negative comment on someone's post?

Not a single time. Have you ever thought something? Even people that leave heinous things on mine, it's never crossed my mind, well, I take that back. It has crossed my mind. But I never have responded in a negative way. Even someone that is like literally outwardly attacking me because it's just, it's not cute. It's not a good look. It's really, it's really classless look. Yeah. And so we got to make sure that we are, how you identify as a person should also be how you identify as a person should

also be how you identify online. There is not a disconnect here. And I'm not a big fan of gossiping. Like my mom kind of instilled that me as a kid. Yeah, I know you're the worst to gossip with. Sorry, I know I'm not, I'm not a super fun gossip. But like, gossiping is a no-no. But here we are gossiping on other people's videos online like what is the world come to? Okay, and then not only that but then you do it under an account. It's classless. An account that people can't trace you back to like come on we can do better. It's giving coward, it's giving classless, it's giving I need to touch grass.

So anyway, it's totally cool. I think some people really need to touch grass, read a book and make a home-cooked dinner, take a bath and go to sleep. Yeah. Maybe go talk to their grandma like Like give your grandma a call. Like if you're tempted to leave a nasty comment, maybe just call up granny, see how she's doing. Maybe put your effing phone down. Maybe that's maybe that needs to be. No that's the whole point. Call grandma, make a meal. Like I literally thought about this day, I was like think about how many things you could do that

are like happy and productive and are gonna feed your soul. Yeah. Instead of that stuff. That's good. So I just decided, no for me. Anyway. People that understand, understand. People that don't, don't. That's fine.

But what I was saying is that now I can recognize, I can come from a perspective that's like, hey, people can be confident and also make alterations to their appearance. I didn't think that those could be, I thought those were mutually exclusive, if that makes sense. Like I thought you could either be a confident person or you could get work done. And I didn't think that you could actually be both. I think people would be surprised too

if you look around how many people there are that have gotten plastic surgery around you. Like I have family members that I had no idea and I found out they did and it's like, okay. They're allowed to make that decision privately, but for for me I feel a response, I know I literally thought about it, I was like man I really wish I could just you know get new boobs, not tell anybody, kind of cover it up, stay hidden for a while and just never say anything and just like make it on like it never happened.

Ah my conscience couldn't do it, I couldn't guys. I just feel bad because here's the thing I'm here being a mom Being so authentic to a fault at times. I will say and I can't just show up for you and just be like No, no, that's not real and that's just that's gonna be sad because maybe a mom could have had a baby at the same Time as me and they're at their same stage postpartum, they're like, man, like, her boobs stay full and perky when mine just, you know, kind of look like beanbags like mine do currently.

I have a good bra on right now, but you know, they kind of look like beanbags sometimes. And I don't want another mom to just look at me and be like, man. I think they look awesome, by the way. No, I mean, they are sexy in their own right, but don't get me wrong. But they don't look like they did before babies, right?

Like I had pretty good boobs before babies. They were really awesome. And now they're really awesome, but they look a little different. And so basically I just don't want another mom that's like, okay, well, we had babies at the same time, but mine are looking different. I don't know, I did something wrong.

No, I don't wanna do that. And I don't wanna be responsible for that. And also, it's really not that serious. I wanna remind people things are just not that serious. It's not that big of a deal. If I put a little silicone in there, the world's gonna keep spinning. You can continue to go about your day,

and I'm gonna go about mine. And also here's the thing, at this point I can confidently say I'm at the 50-50 point. There's 50% chance I might do it. 50% chance I might not do it. But I'm just inviting you in on this decision, and you know, oh wait, not inviting you in. I don't need your feedback.

So now we're gonna let you guys do a poll in the comments. No, I'm inviting you in on my decision making process. If you can go ahead and vote down below. No, I'm not even going to bother saying you don't need to comment because I just know people are going to comment their feedback on that and you know that's just going to be a thing but it's a good thing that I don't care. I think what's cool about life is you're able to change your mind about so many things. Yes. And in fact you should. If you have all your opinions set in stone by the time you're like what 21 and you never change, that's showing maybe you're not growing. Maybe you're not listening to the other sides. I just think you gather so much more wisdom as you live and you learn and you try new things and you fail and you get back up again. I think you need to, I think you need to like fight.

If you have the same beliefs about everything now as you did 10 years ago 15 years ago I think that's a problem it doesn't have to be everything but I think yeah I'm not going to agree with my opinion you should question your own thoughts and you could disagree with literally everything we say on this podcast that's totally cool but it's like think for yourself okay that's just my that's my personal opinion yeah I'm all for people like using their intellect to decide for themselves what they want to do Sometimes I have opinions are based in nothing by just feel that way I don't go telling other people do humans are weird like sometimes I in the same way I'm like man humans are so rational like why do people believe this weird thing when it's clearly not true and

It's oh humans are irrational and then I realized like oh wait a second I'm also irrational there's so many things that I probably believe that are wrong and I just haven't figured it out yet or maybe I never will figure it out. You know what I'm gonna be the story hour person at the library not qualified. I bet you you could do it. No they won't like you. Wait why not? You have I think you have to have like a library science degree or something. Come on we can we can work some we can pull some strengths. I know I thought so. We've got to figure that out.

Maybe we open our own library and then you can read there. Yeah, that's good. You have to have a thousand books to be considered a library. Really? How did you know that? Hailey Pham. OK, so is that is that like she has a library. She has a thousand books over So do you also want to have a thousand books? I think I do really

Okay, why do you want a thousand physical books if you have a Kindle? That is easier to read on and you can like get it I do the real book youtubers have all their books on Kindle in physical copy and probably also on audible that is hardcore I did actually I'm today's year. I am now years old when I found that out. Yeah, I'm just telling you it's book culture and you just need to get with it. Do you have like a deadline for when you want to have your library of a thousand books? No. Do they have to be?

Here's what I don't want to do. I don't want to buy a bunch of books that haven't been read. I want to buy them as I read them. That's a lot of money that when you think about it, like books like $25. It's going to be an investment. That's 25 grand. But think about how fun it'd be like we have people where I'm like, look at my books and there's like maybe a ladder they can climb up to to the very top shelf and then they can see my books and I'd be like, I've read all of them.

Crazy idea. Hear me out. Here's the thing, we'll have children's books too. So that really will up the number without like upping the cost as much. So I totally vibe with the aesthetic of having like a library to like look cool and stuff. Yes. What if we buy books for like 50 cents at Goodwill and then put them with the pages out because it looks super aesthetic and cute and stuff. Not. And then it'll only cost us $500 to get a thousand books rather than like 25 grand. No Matt, you missed the whole point. I want to be like I've read all of these books. Okay. And let me tell you about

this one. I love that. Like I want to be like the librarian for my own library where I can't do that if it's just like I don't know these are a bunch of random books I haven't read. And when you give someone a book, they can keep it. They can keep it. Yeah. And you'll just have to replenish it. No, I won't buy another one of it. Oh really? It's just how books are. They come into your life. They go. I have held on to some books, I'll be honest, that I read and then I never returned. Will you expect to get them back or is it kind of like, oh, really? I mean, yeah, I feel like I would expect to get them back. But then if I don't, I'm not going to say anything. And I'm not going to be sad about it. I obviously read a lot in middle school.

And so like the books I read were Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Aragon, all those. And I'm like currently rereading all those series right now. I feel like there's a lot of other people out there that are like me who are adults that wanna get back into reading, but they don't know where to start. What should I do?

Because I keep finding myself, like I'm reading Harry Potter right now, but you kind of, I could tell you were like, oh, you're reading Harry Potter? Like, how about you read something that's newer, right? No, I think it's great to read Harry Potter if it's gonna get you into it, but I've noticed you rereading a lot of books that you used to read when you read for enjoyment.

Yeah. And I'm like, what books does Matt as an adult like for an enjoyment? I think you could explore that a little bit more. What's a good, there's a lot of women that listen to this podcast, so what's like a good book for someone who wants to get back into it? Like, what's one that they're going to be glued to? I can't just give you a one size fits all because everyone's so different. Like, I'm kind of like,

thriller books like spark my love for reading more than anything, but my sister-in-law like loves romance books. Like, those spark her love for reading more than anything. So, I'd have to know the person, but in general, I would say say you probably have a decent idea of what genre you go for based on what kind of movies you like. So say you love romance movies, then literally just instead of scrolling your normal social media, find the book side of things and you can find what's relevant, what people are talking about, what people are raving about in the book world online and that'll make you want to read more because you're like, oh my gosh everyone's talking about this, like I have to know what this is about and then it just makes you want to read more. I love that you watch book YouTubers. Yeah.

You'll be taking a bath and I'm like, what's going on and you're just watching someone review books. Haley Finn, Destiny's Dead Well. Give me your review or give me your list top three books you've read this year. Go. What are they? This year? Is Court of Thorns and Roses on that list? Actually not for me. Really? I really liked it but I don't know if it's like... Can I just refer to my list of books I've read this year? You already have a list. I've read this year. I haven't said which ones. My favorites. So sorry.

Hey, take your time. It's all good. It's 2024, right? Here we go. Honestly, The Bodyguard was so cute. It did not come out this year, but loved that one. I really liked The Perfect Marriage. OK.

Oh, I loved The Perfect Couple. Yeah, The Perfect Couple, right? Because you wanted to watch that on Netflix, but then we didn't like the show. The Perfect Couple was a really good book, but it didn't like the show. Man, that's disappointing. Yeah, of the books this year, I can't say there's anyone I'm like, this was life-changing. Yeah, I will say I've learned from you. I liked The Women, but I wouldn't say that it was like the best of the best I read this

year. See, what I did learn from you is I need to read more fiction because I was reading like business books because I was trying to learn something and make myself more intelligent and all that. But then you get bored. Like I got I would get like 20 percent into a book and stop. But when you're reading a fiction book you keep going because it's fun and it's I think it's really healthy for your brain to read something on a page whether that's a physical page or on a Kindle

We're the same thing as watching a TV show What's way better for your brain though because you're actually better. Yeah, you're reading and it's making you do work You're not just like sitting there doing nothing your your brain is working the whole time and actually I want to say makes you live Longer if you read I'm such a boring person Okay, our producer sent us some questions she wanted me to ask you. So I'm gonna ask you these rapid fire, okay? Okay, go. What is your biggest insecurity?

I guess like maybe that people might misunderstand me. Is that like an insecurity? Yeah, oh definitely. Yeah. Big misunderstood. Maybe, yeah, I feel like being misunderstood might be an insecurity. Was that an insecurity that you always had or was that a newer insecurity that came up? No, that's fresh from being an influencer.

That's a new mental problem. Why did you use like the hermit the frog voice right there when you said that? I feel awkward. I think it's because a big part of like feeling you're misunderstood is related to being an influencer. How has? of feeling you're misunderstood is related to being an influencer. Like I feel like people that meet me in real life may misunderstand me if they're like, oh, that's your job?

Like you maybe are someone that seeks attention or is shallow or is vain or like, may just have this preconceived perception of me that's just not necessarily accurate. So that's why I said that in a weird voice. So then how does being in the public eye change your perception of what you hear about other... I thought these were rapid fire. Rapid fire, rapid fire. Yes, rapid fire. What is your biggest parenting hot take? I don't know if it's

a hot take but like let your kids get dirty. Guys, we did, let them get dirty. I let my kids get really dirty. Our kids get filthy. Like our kids will just get so much dirt and sand. Like to the point where it's like, I've let them, I've had to hose them down. I've had to just put them in their car seat in just a diaper and just like wipe them off with baby wipes until we can get home to the bathtub.

Yeah. Like I just, I let them get filthy. wipes until we can get home to the bathtub. Yeah. Like I just, I let them get filthy. I think that's good Abby. I really do. Really? Because you didn't like it at first. I mean, let's be honest. We have white seats in our car, okay?

So when you're taking some, a one and two year old with covered in mud onto some white seats, it hurts. It hurts a little bit. You're like, wow, there goes the nice white seats. But our kids love it and they have so much fun getting dirty and it lets them explore and you know, I think it's really important. I really think creative. Yeah. So I think I think it's really good that you do that.

And I think some parents not not caught anybody out. I'm just saying some parents need to like take a little chill pill, you know. It's like your kid is going to be OK. Like you don't have to. You're acting like you're thinking of someone particular, are you? No, I'm not. I just made it seem like that. So you should say that differently... You're acting like you're thinking of someone particular, are you? No I'm not. You made it seem like that so you should say that differently. Yeah I'm not thinking of anybody in particular I'm just saying I respect that you let our kids play like kids. Thank you. What do

you miss most about your childhood? I miss being in so many activities. Like I was so involved and I like I was was never home. Basically, like, I just always wanted to go to dance, to theater, to sports, to clubs and activities and friends houses. Like, I was just like someone that just like, I feel like that was a very creative, fulfilling time in my life where I was like, learning my strengths, learning my weaknesses.

And like, I was constantly stretching myself and putting myself out there, trying to take as many upper level courses as I could, and also join this new club or try this new speech thing, or try, I was constantly stretching myself, and I wasn't afraid of failure. And I think now I'm a little bit more afraid of failure and less likely to try new things.

I still love trying new things, but I just think that I'm a little bit more reserved in putting myself out there. Thank you guys for listening and we will see you in the next episode. All right, bye guys.