The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby - The Newborn Stage: Hemorrhage Scare & Sleep Deprivation

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Three weeks postpartum and we’re officially back in the newborn trenches! We’re talking sleepless nights, breastfeeding, postpartum recovery, mom guilt, adjusting to life with three kids, and the new rules keeping our marriage intact through it all. Plus, we share what’s been different about the newborn stage the third time around. Chilipad: Visit https://www.sleep.me/UNPLANNED to get up to $255 off your Chilipad 2.0 with code UNPLANNED, plus free shipping and a 30-day sleep trial. Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code UNPLANNED at https://branchbasics.com/UNPLANNED #branchbasicspod Osea: Go to https://oseamalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code UNPLANNED. Hiya Health: Get 50% off your first order of Hiya products at https://hiyahealth.com/UNPLANNED. Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify/ Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Mascara is restocking September 15th! Sign up here for updates: https://www.biswell-beauty.com/ Chapters: 01:58 - Postpartum 03:13 - Placenta Pills 03:44 - Hemorrhage 08:00 - Community 09:53 - Newborn sleep 22:04 - Paw Patrol Movie 24:00 - Toddlers regressing 25:26 - Mom guilt 29:44 - Pretzel 32:54 - Legoland 36:53 - Birthdays 38:30 - Pirate party 43:43 - Postpartum rules 46:41 - Nursing 50:15 - Parents in town 56:07 - Night feedings 59:41 - Loading 3 kids in a car 01:02:57 - 1st postpartum date 01:05:18 - working out Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Don't say anything that's not nice. No farting. Oh. It's holding our baby, feeding a bottle, leaning over. It was so much blood that we were like, are you hemorrhaging? You took the placenta pills and what happened?

It could be a total coincidence. I felt a million times better and my physical symptoms also changed. We told my parents that they couldn't stay with us because with our old system, we are using the gas bedrooms that like, I could get some sleep in the night, Abby could get some sleep in the night.

With our new system, we're both not getting any sleep in the night. Hey, real quick, before we get started, I wanted to let you know that one free way you can help us out and help us grow our show is by subscribing. Only about 35% of you guys are subscribed. So if you can just check real quick to make sure that you are subscribed with the show, that would mean so much to us. Thank you, seriously from the bottom of our hearts for being here. It means a lot that you're coming back each and every week to listen to the new episodes that we've worked so hard on. And without further ado, enjoy the episode.

What's up, dudes? Welcome back to the unplanned podcast. Woo! Yeah, baby. I had my second cup of coffee the day. You're feeling hyped? I'm actually at the stage of exhaustion where I really feel caffeine. Yeah.

Like, I really feel it and I really look forward to it. Thank goodness you can have a little bit more caffeine when you're nursing than when you're pregnant. See, why? No one talks about that shift. Why does the caffeine like sometimes just, it like zaps my energy? Like, I feel like it could be an ADHD thing. I feel like it's the crash. Like it's like I have,

I feel good for like five minutes and then it's like I'm more tired. Really? Yeah. I feel like that's what happens. I have an energy drink, but coffee just feels like that good energy. Energy drinks definitely do that to me. Yeah, I don't know. I have my, you can have 300 milligrams of caffeine when you're nursing.

I still stick to pretty much 200, but it does feel like a, it feels so good to have it now that we're in this stage where, you know, So sleep isn't necessarily what it was. At the time of recording this, it's been three weeks to the day since Abby gave birth to a little fishy. I feel great. I do feel really good. Feeling pretty good? Yeah. What do you think is the reason that you feel so good?

Because I feel like this has been your best postpartum experience ever. Well, if I'm, do you want me to be real, real? Be real, real. I think it's just the fact that we're seasoned. Ah. Like, we've done this before. Okay. But there's also a lot of other factors that contribute to it, probably like the fact

that we have an awesome community, the fact that, um, you know, I had a, like a more positive birth experience we have before. We have like a not colic baby. I ate my placenta. Abby is actively eating your placenta, which is actually crazy. Why are we saying eating? Well, what's the other way of saying it taking? Okay.

But the thing is like, babe, your placenta was huge. And then after it was dehydrated, it like, it, like, it shrinks. down to be super duper tiny. I'm still going to be taking those pills for like months. I know. What's crazy is like no one explained that to me. Your placenta was like as big as it was like bigger than my head. Did she say it was normal sized? Totally normal size. She said it was normal. Huge, huge dinner plate size organ. Because my friend had a gestational diabetes and she said that made her placenta much larger and she also had it encapsulated and she's like it was just way too many pills. I just can't believe that all the pills all the placenta pills fit into a

jar that's like the size of my fist bigger than that okay two fists a fist and a half yeah maybe maybe it's a lot of pills and you can only take two a day and it's like this is going to take a long time yeah i mean but you're you're cracking and cracking away at it i think okay here's the deal when abby can you share the most the really interesting thing that happened when you like right away when you started taking your place okay yeah i don't know i don't think we talked about it on on the plan because we'd already filmed that episode but yeah um like 10 or 11 days postpartum so like week and a half i think i might have gotten a little bit to you know there's like a a high that you're on and then you're like i'm just going to keep going i think i got a little too excited did too much which they always say

like just rest just rest but that's easier said than done for someone like me and also for someone with two other toddlers in the house. And that day, I was experiencing, like, kind of... Well, you were bleeding a lot. Yeah, I was kind of bleeding a lot. It was so much blood that we were like, are you hemorrhaging? Like, what's going on? We asked AI, we're like, hey, what should we do?

It was like, go to the hospital immediately. And we're like, okay, that sounds like a bit drastic. No, you were like trying to get me to go. For a little bit there, because I wasn't like fully understanding what was happening. So I was like, hey, I'd rather, you know, drop whatever, whatever it is on the, on the, on the, on the ambulance or whatever, just to make sure. I don't know. I'm just like, at the end of the day, your health and safety is way more important than a medical bill. And so it's just like, what do we need to do?

But then we came to realize that, okay, it was just these weren't the post, these were like regular pads that you were soaking through. They weren't like medical grade. That's the thing that like made me like convince you that it wasn't as serious. I didn't specify to AI that you were soaking through regular. PADs, not medical grade ones, because it, like, I think the AI thought that you were, like, going to die. It was a little bit, yeah, I think it was abnormal. That's the thing.

Like, the things that were happening, we won't get into too much details. But, like, it was a little bit outside of normal. Obviously, postpartum, so many things can happen and so many things are considered normal. But I was like, we'll just watch it closely for the night. and then the next day it still really wasn't much better. Yeah. And then you came home with the pills. And you took the placenta pills and what happened?

My bleeding like was drastically reduced. How crazy is that guy? It's all anecdotal. It's all. And here's the thing. It could be a total coincidence. But I'm just saying I felt a million times better and I had physical like my physical symptoms also changed.

Was that before like had you been resting before that? Like that what? Because I had you start resting. Yeah. And then that day you were. like you're literally stay on this couch and I did I stayed on the couch for like two days and we even went to a birthday party and I literally sat the whole time I felt so rude but I just like didn't I stayed seated and horizontal for like two days and this was in conjunction with taking the placenta

pills yeah just focusing more on like slowing down resting healing recovering and that I mean I feel like I did a 180 after that yeah was disclaimer if you're bleeding a lot after giving birth definitely take that super seriously. They tell you before you leave the hospital what to look for. We're not doctors, but I feel like a lot of people know about the hemorrhaging thing, how dangerous it can be, but And I did hemorrhage during birth too. You did hemorrhage? Yeah. Okay. Why? Did they tell me that? They told us in hindsight. Oh, okay. Yeah. They get it to stop. They do a really weird thing. You don't want to say it on the podcast? I mean, I say a lot of things on this podcast. It's fine. Okay. Um. They put something in your bottom.

You're kidding me. Yeah, I'm not kidding. That gets the hemorrhging to stop. I don't know. It's a pill that they put in there. That's crazy. She just told me that casually. I was like, you're going to tell me that after the fact. What I learned from Randy who edits this very podcast is he told me that they'll put like a piece of placenta in mom's mouths, like when they're giving birth. If they're doing like an at home natural birth, apparently that could even in some ways

stop bleeding or stop hemorrhaging. Isn't that crazy? Have you ever heard of that? No. Like women will put a piece of their placenta in their mouth? What? That's like a, that's more of like a natural like way of doing things. Again, that don't like, we're not doctors.

Okay. See, that's one of those things that you do your, we're going to do it on our fourth birth. That's the progression. Just get back to our mammal roots more so each time. Yeah. Anywho, I think, I think the pills are working, honestly. I know. I really do.

I think just the bleeding alone that was like, I'd do it again. That's crazy. And side note, I mean, the fact that we have, the community that we have now, we did not have a meal train for Griffin and Augie's birth. You know what? I think we might have actually. Maybe like a really small one.

Maybe it was like a handful of people. Or maybe it was just like not formally like with the meal train website. Yes. Like people just would bring us, some of our friends would bring us dinners. But wow, people now, her friends are crazy. Yeah, we've been having, I mean, they're rapid enough. up so we're the meal train to come into a close. Yeah but we're three weeks out. Yeah, but we have three weeks of dinner every night is insane. Like that's so, and so many other random drop-offs of bread and

muffins and flowers and stuff for the boy. Like it's been so generous. So generous and so, I'm so grateful. Yeah, I think that right there is. It's like hard to almost accept. You know what I mean? Where you're like, I just, I can't like you've done so much. Like, please, it's okay. Thank you. I mean, in my opinion, I think that's been the most transformative, like, uplifting part of all of this because doing something alone, going through something really hard alone is, it just makes it 10 times worse. And for you to have like all your girlfriends that are like pouring into you, cheering for you, checking in on you. Yeah, so many people. Me having other dads that like we don't, I mean, I feel like other dads, we don't get as deep as you ladies do, but just just at least like knowing that we have each other's backs. I guess we could. I guess we should. But, you know, it's just, it's just good to know that we have people there for us.

Seriously. And that has been incredible. Seriously. I mean, it changes everything. And I just, I just hope, I wish every mom could have this. Now that being said, we have been going through a little bit of a sleep regression sort of thing. He came alive. Tiny came alive. I feel like he realized that he was on planet earth and he's like, oh, I got to, I got to. He's like, I got to order these guys around. I got to add some stuff up. Let's just start waking up all the time. It's only right. It's only appropriate. And it's just, it's sweet because I'm like, this is literally, I can hear our kids right now.

Like, he's fitting right in. That's exactly what we want. Honestly, he's just a normal newborn. Yeah. Just a normal guy. He's got opinions. He's got things. He does not want to be set down.

Actually, I saw this quote on Pinterest and I screenshoted it. I'm going to show you. It's weird, though. We're getting less sleep now three weeks out than we were the first week. Totally. Which I think, you know, again, comparatively, everything has been so much better than the first two times. but it's weird how it's like

he was doing a little trick you know like the first week he was like a dream baby he was just so sleepy no this quote right here Matt it says the babies that come into this world not wanting to be put down

are born to the mamas who need to slow down so you got to slow down is what we're learning yes I got to slow down and he's forcing me to slow down and it's really great I love that guy I actually hate that he's not here right now

he's taking it up I know, yeah, he's sleeping. Let's hope. Yeah, fingers, fingers crawled. I might need to run in a minute. Yeah. But yeah, no, he's come alive. He's got his preferences, and it's all very normal.

All very, that's the thing, we're season now. Yeah. Thank you to ChiliPad for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. We really need our sleep, especially in this newborn stage we're in. We talk about postpartum sweats. And that's exactly why I want to tell you about the Chili Pad 2.0 by Sleep. me, it is the most advanced version yet of the bed cooling system built specifically for people who are tired of waking up hot and sweaty. The Chili Pad 2.0 actively cools or warms your bed using water.

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You can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial. Visit www.sleep.m.me. slash unplanned and never wake up hot and tired again. But with the sleep regression that's been occurring with the lack of sleep, we've been switching things up in the night recently. We tried something new last night. Yes. We completely abandoned our original postpartum plan that we had.

I think the original plan was like after the first week, I was like kind of full on like toddler duty with the three and four year old. And like, I mean, I've been. Now you're double dipping. I guess I'm double dipping now. Because I think the whole idea was like, yeah, I'll come like at five or six. 6 a.m. whenever you know, whenever you do your last like night feed, I would then take Fisher and then wake up with the boys. You couldn't crack the 5 a.m. one. I think I could. I think if I went to

bed with our toddlers at like 8 o'clock, I think waking up at, oh yeah, 5 a.m. if you go to bed at 8 o'clock is nothing. Oh, you're planning on leaving me for the whole night. I think that was the original plan, but we've kind of abandoned. Oh yeah. We got to abandon that. We completely abandoned that plan. because because when I nurse him in the night he's literally just like okay let's do this for an hour and then I'm going to be so snugly with mom that the second she puts me down that's just not going to fly and then I just don't sleep at all so what we were what we were doing is we would do a bottle feed around like 930 to like get this kid just full of milk which by the way he's only three weeks as of today, he's been he's been chugging four ounces of milk in a single feed for the past like

five days, six days. It's impressive. This kid can eat some food. And then, and then, you know, we do another feeding. This is as more recently. So, you know, 9.30 feed. Then we do another feed around like 1 a.m. because this pediatrician said he could go for four to five hours without, you know, four and a half. Four and a half. I stick to that. That's something that I like really stick to. Anyway, so then we do another feed then, but then the problem that we ran into like a week ago was he would not, like he would just be like up a lot. Up for the day at like 4.30 and 5. That and then he would also wake up quite a bit around like the 1 o'clock to 4.30 time. So I started, Abby started sleeping in the guest bedroom from like 2 a.m. till 5 a.m. 1 a.m. to 4.30 a.m.

kind of like in that range. Yeah. And then once he was like ready to eat again at like, you know, 4.30, 5.30, I would go and get Abby. And then I would go in the guest bedroom. Yeah. And then wake up with the boys when they wake up around, you know, 6. 630s when they start making noise, but they're out of bed at 6.45.

Anyway, all that being said, that was what we used to do. And then we just tried something completely new last night. I was going to ask you, how did that work for you last night? Worse? Dang it, it worked amazing for me. You know, I think that's the... I feel so rested. That's the thing is like, I just, you know, it's not about me.

So whatever I need to do to support you at this time, because you just gave birth to our baby, like I'm going to do. You know, yeah. Dang it. That worked out so good for me. I finally got... I looked at my watch and I got... Let's just see right here. Consulting the smart watch.

Seven hours and eight minutes. You got seven hours. Yes. Let's go. That's amazing. That's so good. I mean, I was fully asleep at like 921 p.m. Let's go.

And I was up for the day at 545. We only woke up twice to feed. Nice. Nice. But how did you not get good sleep? I think I just don't sleep. I actually, so I just don't sleep good. I take my smart watch off at night.

I was in bed less time than you. It really effed with my head when I look at how much sleep I got the next day. Like, especially when, so I had. So I had insomnia like a year and a half ago. And when I would look at my watch and see like, oh, four hours of sleep. That's what they say. They say wearables can mess with you. It really messed with my brain.

So I just have decided I don't even want to know how much sleep I got. I don't care if it's three hours or six hours. I don't care. Like I'm not going to, I don't want to know. Yeah. Did you wear that last night? I'd take it off every night. I always take my watch off.

Because you were in bed longer than me. Yeah. I was. But I just think you can't go back to sleep as well. that's true you can you fall asleep so quickly yeah and I just like lay there like I woke up and I was like I feel energized let's go let's go let's go feel good well we'll do I also just had a cup of coffee we'll continue to do the new method the only reason I say that is because it our kid can eat a bottle so much faster than he can nurse and so then he just goes back to sleep way better

and we're not up for the day at 4.30 he go he woke up at 545 today for me that was so good this makes it feel like we'd like never talk to each other which we talk all the time okay we were just surrounded each other 24-7 but i feel like for me i either a if i'm waking up multiple times in i want the ability to sleep in or b so that was did i say a that was a that was a one and b okay that was option number one either if i'm waking up a lot in the night i want to be able to sleep the freaking option two is if i get to sleep through the night i can wake up at 5 a.m whatever you know whatever time, I'll take my little unisome or melatonin, knock myself the freak out at like 8 o'clock. And if that baby wants to wake up at 4.45, I'm up for the day, you know? Is that overly

ambitious? You're shaking your head. I think we can't do that right now. Okay. All I'm saying is I like seeing you at 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. That's the thing is like I think I think you probably get lonely doing feedings by yourself. So I think you having my support. I know. I feel so spoiled because Because most husbands are like sleeping through the night. Oh, yeah. Just does it, especially when you're nursing because they're like, it's just easier for me to do it by myself. And I get that.

But it's not easier for me to do it by myself. It's easier for me to do it with you. 100%. Just because the bottle thing. I just, you know, it's not. It gets to bed quicker because he will nurse for like 45 minutes to an hour in the night. Because he's falling asleep. He's so cozy with me.

Yeah. But then he doesn't. Then I wrap him up and put him in bed. And he's like, wait, where's mom? I was just snuggling with her for the past hour. Totally. Whereas like when he just has a bottle with you, he, that takes 20 minutes. Total for you to feed him, diaper change, reswaddle, finish feeding him back in bed.

Yeah. He goes back to sleep way better. You're right. We definitely do have a good, we have a good situation. Yeah. Good system. Yeah. Well, I'll do whatever I need to do for as long as I need to do it.

Thank you. because you're my, you're my greater love. You're my greater good. You're the love of my life. He won't be waking up through the night. Actually, it was really sweet. You texted me the other day. Tiny was having a really hard time,

calming down. And you texted me. I'm going to read your text because they were so sweet. Oh, that. You also, do you realize you text me the crazy stuff? Try me. Like, what did I say? I can't read this.

What did you say? You have a night. I can't. I can't. Like that's just something that you just texted me today at 10.15. I'm on a Tuesday. Sorry, I like to compliment you. What's wrong with that? It's so nice, but it's just so random. Like, I feel like I have to hide my text. Like, I can't show my mom stuff on my phone. The text. Oh, yeah, this is what you said. You're my love and you're so important to me. And I love the sweet life we're building with our boys. This newborn stage is temporary. It's only going to get easier. That's so sweet, Matt. I love you. You text me really nice stuff all the time. You're a really nice guy. I think you're really nice gal. But it's so nice, like having that perspective, like saying like this newborn stage is temporary. Life with our boys is so sweet.

Oh, yeah. And I feel like that also has made a really big difference. It's just like a total perspective shift because it's like, yeah. I did say to you the other day. I was like, when Fisher is the age that Griffin's at right now, I will be 32 years old, which sound like. No, that sounds. That sounds old, okay?

That's, that's a man right there. A man. And your 30s. I've literally known you since you were 17. Wait, 14. 13, 13 or 14? Wait. I think it was 14.

14 to 17. I've known you. It was the summer of 2013. And it's very different from 32. Yeah. Goodness. You just keep getting better too. Like people are like noticing like you're filling out.

You're looking manly. Thank you. You've mastered your haircut? I started actually getting haircuts is what I started doing. That's what I'm saying. Like we've just become a better team. You know what I learned at the barber last week? People get their haircut every week.

There are some guys that literally go to the barber every week. I've been like a once every three months guy my whole life. Until like a year-ish ago. I, no, I started learning like two years ago that I should get more haircuts. And then now I go every month. But I think it makes a big difference. I really do. Yeah.

Well, those guys might be using like the actual like razor blade like. Oh, yeah. Getting it really. True. Close to the skin there. And I did the math to see like what that would cost if you go to the barber that often. And it's like that'd be like $3,000 a year just on your hair. Well, think about what women spend on maintenance.

Holy cow. But I guess there's women that top that. Maneckure and pedicure. People get their hair done all the women like that. But it's like highlights. Yeah. Some women get like facials, Botox, spray tans. What else people get done? Waxing? Oh my gosh, the hair removal. See, for me, for the longest time, I was just stuck in this mindset of how do I spend as least, the least amount of money as possible on my hair? And so I would get,

you know, just I'd get whatever. You know what I did say that I'm kind of a hypocrite on? What? I said if we have a third boy, I'll learn how to cut boys. hair. And I kind of want to take that back. Maybe at some point I'll try. I did, like, think I wanted to learn how to do that, and I just still haven't done it. I can't imagine getting them to sit still. That would be, that's probably the hardest part.

They do it. Well, you just put on a show. You just turn on Paw Patrol. Okay. And then you're good to go. That's the answer. Yeah. Also, Paw Patrol movie.

We did go and see that at the voice. That was so good. Huge hit. Huge success. I love that Snoop Dog was in it. I like immediately recognized his voice from the start. The soundtrack was pretty good. Yeah.

Terry Cruz. I was entertained. Did you know that Terry Cruz was like the bad guy? He was one of the villains. He was the die. He was the explosive expert that was there to harvest the diamonds off of Dino Island, whatever the place was called. You're kidding.

Yep. They had a lot of famous people in the ads, but I didn't put two and two together. Backstreet Boys did the, did the song. They were in the soundtrack for the movie. I actually really enjoy, I keep listening to that song with kids. That's why it's popping up on the Spotify. It's great. It's a great.

song. I used to think the Backstreet Boys were so cool when I was little. Like I wanted to be the Backstreet Boys. That's probably where all this desire for wanting to be in the show business at a young age and meeting you doing a theater probably started with me being a fan of the Backstreet Boys. Oh, see, you couldn't be a part of a boy band though unless you were like the lead. Why? Why do you say that? Because you are, you're a solo act, Matt Howard. I'm a solo act. Yeah. I don't know if that's a compliment or a dish. It's a compliment. Who wants to be like the random one that everyone forget? It's true. Yeah, I guess you're right. I could see one of our boys getting into the arts just with how like they love to put on a show, especially Augie.

I always think about this. I'm like, what if one of them wants to do sports? What are we going to do? What do you mean? What are we going to do? We're going to let them play sports. We don't know about sports. We know we know about sports, Abby. I mean, they do little sports, but I don't know anything about it. It's not. I mean like we went to the park the other day and they were doing flag football. practice. I was like, I just don't see you as like a football coach. I did football for like a month in sixth grade. So you could coach. Yeah, I basically could coach the team. I fully under, yeah, I basically could coach the team. I fully understand it. It was really cute. They are, you're growing up. Yeah. Except they are regressing just a little bit, which is very normal,

very normal, but there's been a newfound interest in like all of a sudden now they want to ride in a stroller, which we could never get them to. sit in a stroller. What was up with that? We were walking to the park. The weather like cooled down to be sub 100 degrees in Arizona yesterday. So it's basically beautiful. Like it's so it's almost cool. Abby put on a crude neck to go outside. I'm wearing a sweatshirt right now. I'm not even kidding you guys. It was it was 88 degrees and I was like I'm gonna put on a crew neck. I think I'm gonna go outside. I had a turtle neck on. Yeah, what is wrong with you? That was weird. It was so weird. I think it's just because I just kind of wanted something big and loose. Anyway. I look like I'm in the second trimester now.

Not the third. No, you look incredible. Seriously. You're so nice. But, okay, we're walking to the park and then our oldest, who's four. They both wanted to get in the stroller. Wanted to be in the stroller so bad.

And then... And it's not even a stroller. It's literally a bassinet stroller. It's the place that you put your, like, backpack underneath the bassinet. And so, like, he's just riding in that. He's just riding at the very base of this thing. Why not?

And then they fought over who could ride in that on the way back. And they see all the attention. Reinterested in binkies. Reinterested. And just like all the baby stuff. Yeah. So, you know, that's just something that I feel like happens universally. Like your older kids start to look back and they're like, wait a minute.

But we're trying to avoid the big keys. I do feel so sad though. Like this is what's hard is that I say I'm booby trapped, which I am. I'm booby trapped most of the day nursing. And then they're like, mom, come. They literally were like, be Bowser, chase me. Do this. Do this.

Come look at this. do come in my clubhouse like all these things and I'm like I hate every time being like okay well I have to finish doing this with baby Fisher and then I'll come or not right now it's not a good time I have to change his diaper or he's sad he needs me right now like I hate that that makes me sad yeah that's some mom guilt for you I've been trying really hard to not say no to our kids like even if I'm in the middle of like the work day trying trying to get caught up on things like just recognizing that you know me me taking time out of my day to go spend quiet time it is confusing for them though because like today I was trying to get things done and they just kept

coming they just love playing with you they wanted me to be bowing about playing with them thanks and so they're like they think you'll do it you can do it literally anytime because you do it so much with them and so wholeheartedly I've been trying to teach them though I'm like do you know I have to work do you know why I have to work and now Griffin's like so we can be in our house Like that's what he understands. So there's that. And then I'm like so that we can go on like vacation, we can have food, you know. Something that we have been trying to do is also just give them one on one attention.

I think that the more kids you have, like obviously three is not like a big family. But like your attention is usually like shared with your siblings. Yeah. And so I've been really trying to like one on one with them whenever I can. and even just like I literally just hung out one on one with one of our boys for like 20 minutes and you would not believe like the way that I just feel like his eyes just like lit up and just like it meant so much and I felt like I really got to like connect in that moment like and so yeah that's just something I've been re-reminded I'm like okay even though we're in a demanding

stage with a newborn like literally three weeks old today like it's still I can I can make that happen for like 20 minutes is even a lot. Like you could even do it for 10 minutes, five minutes, and that would really make a big difference. And so that's been sweet. We just kept laughing together. I actually felt really creepy. I were in the little clubhouse,

which is like the area underneath our stairs where the kids' toys are. And I was like sitting there. I was like, we were just talking. We're cracking jokes. We're laughing. And every time we like start laughing, he would go,

we're cracking up. We're cracking up, mom. And like we were just like really having a good time. And then I was like, do you know how much I love you? And then I start crying. I'm like, Mommy loves you so much. And then I was like, I love you so much that it makes me cry sometimes. And I felt so creepy because I'm like trapping him under the stairs and like we're laughing.

And then all of a sudden I'm crying. And he's like, I felt like that really creepy movie preview that we saw. We saw the Odyssey that like really cool. creepy mom. Oh my gosh. What was that movie called? Did you see that preview? Do you know what that's called? That was horrible. Mommy? I never want to see that and I don't know why I thought of her. Terrifying. Why are they making movies like that? She has two mommies like one mommy's the creepy mommy and the other mommy's the other mommy. Other mommy. Oh my gosh. Yeah. We should go see it. No. I want to go see it. That one actually looks really, really, really scary. You would be curled up on my

lap the entire movie. I don't like that stuff. We saw a scary movie for our first date. A horrible movie on our first date. Matt, of the genres of scary movies, demon possession is probably the worst. Sorry. That was the worst. It was a memorable date. We can't forget about it.

I know. I actually, good thing I was not focused on the movie at all. You have to know that I was really obsessed with you because I were watching the most scary movie literally ever. And I wasn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I remember zero things about the movie. Thank you to Branch Basics for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Here's something most of us are never thinking about. What is in those cleaning products that we use in our homes?

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Switching the gears. Wait, how has pretzel been adjusting? I think she's crushing it honestly You know sometimes I feel like pretzel's on crack Like she just she's been jumping off of our couch She is like I got her tennis balls Like really heavy duty tennis ball She's like ripping those up now

She rips up at least one of our kids' toys per day Yeah But we love her. You know we love her so much She eats them She like she literally digest At least one plastic toy a week I don't even know what to do

Literally the microplastics in that girl And like we shut, we like we put the toys away and then she like literally breaks in. She knows how to open that door. And goes and just like get socks. Yeah. Anyway. But I think she's doing really good because now that I'm like a little bit further out, I can go on like little mental health walks with Fisher.

And so I've actually been able to take Fisher and Pretzel on walks and it literally fills me with so much joy. I'm just walking. I just so happy. Uh, no, she feel like. I mean, yes and no. I don't feel unsafe anyway. Okay. But she feels like it feels so good to have her.

Also, I feel like I haven't been that angry with her in this postpartum season. Definitely had a couple moments where I was like, I felt like I was like booby-trapped once again. And I see her eating something she shouldn't eat. And I'm like, pretzel, pretzel. And I'm like, I'm going to lose it because I'm stuck. I can't do anything about it. I found pretzel on all four standing on top of the kitchen table yesterday. Yeah.

Again? Again. yesterday. She's a billy goat. Or was that today? Maybe that was today. See, that's part of the postpartum fog. Gosh.

It hit you too. No, she is honorary, but she's a really good dog. And I feel like I would be so much more mad at her if she was a barking dog and like was waking up our baby. Yeah. She literally doesn't really bark. So that has made it. I think that's what's made it so easy.

If she was like barking all the time, that would really bug us. But she's done so well. Like we put Fisher like in his little bouncer and we felt like the old. always had to put him on an elevated surface because of pretzel, but she learned right away, like, got to keep my distance around this guy. She's just given him a couple little licks on the feet and like a couple little sniffs on his head. And she's, maybe she does have some type of maternal instinct in there. She's not fixed yet. So everybody says that she's, everyone misgender's pretzel. They all think that she's a war. I know. It's a she guys. Our dog is a she. Your dad is

Both of our moms. Yeah, nobody can call. He, him. It's like, it's a girl. Our dog is a girl. And she's beautiful. Yeah, she's a beautiful girl. We love her.

I feel like she looks very girly. Yeah. She's pretty. She does act like a boy, though. She does act like a boy. Okay. Sorry, you were switching gears earlier. Let's hear it.

I was going to say, I was going to let everyone know. We've gone on a few family outings since everything. Probably mostly because it's so hot. hot here. It's been so hot. Like we can't, you know, we would just go to the park if we could. Yeah, there's not really like a, you kind of have to go indoors, um, with how hot it's been. Yeah. But we did a little trip to Legoland, not the Lego land in San Diego, the Lego land in, in, uh, Phoenix, Arizona. Is it in Tempe? Yep. Um, it's kind of a sketchy mall that they put Lego land in. Yeah, a little sketchy. And Lego land is a bit of a stretch, but it's still a good time.

It's more of like a Lego meetup spot with some indoor, like, activities. It's a Lego store with like an indoor play place. Yeah. But our kids loved it. That randomly has a couple rides? Yeah, they have like an indoor flying ride. You'd like fly around. But it only goes like 15 feet into the air.

Perfect. We have a three-year-old. Oh, yeah. They loved it. Griffin loved it. Oh, he didn't write it with me. And then, and they also have. No, because he was doing laser tag as he calls it.

That was cute Yeah, it was cute It had a really good time It was funny, I never was into Legos as a kid I like never cared about Legos ever But other kids did And I think our kids are gonna be Lego kids Oh, they're great at Legos

Yeah I love Legos I think they're great for motor skills For just so many things Yeah, I don't know why You can put in the STEM category Yeah and I think it's great Like I think doing them

And knowing how all that goes together It's probably really good for their brain They can follow the instructions too. I think it's really good. So I'm a huge fan. We've also, this wasn't as quite educational. We went to the arcade with our boys. Don't ask us how many times we played the dinosaur Jurassic Park game because our kids just kept wanting to go to that one.

Any game, like having boys, any game that involves like some sort of like slight remnants of violence, they're like, let's play that one. Yeah. Let's go shoot the dinosaurs. I know. What's up with that? I don't like it. I don't want them to have G-U-N-S. Yeah.

But they don't even call them that because we don't... Shooters. They call them shooters. Poo-P-Poo. They're like, I'm going to play the shooter game. Yeah. Yeah. And here's the thing.

They don't have those toys, but they make them out of their Legos. They make them out of sticks. They make them out of anything. Why was it easier for our kids to play the Jurassic Park game than the Angry Birds game? Because, like, they, We tried the Angry Birds one, and I think they just didn't quite understand that you're trying to hit the base of the structure. You probably could have gotten away with not putting any money in the machines. They did play, quote-unquote, play the games for like 30 minutes without us even paying for anything.

That's the hack. That is the hack. Take your boys to the arcade. If they're under the age of five, take them to the arcade and be like, it's free. Go play all the games. All the games are going. It's all free. Yeah, that worked, that worked for a while.

I really, I actually really enjoyed that. I had fun playing the games with them. Yeah, you went back the next night. Yeah, we went back. And I, me and Fisher stayed back. I know. I was like, that's, we're going to rest. Yeah, we've also been going to the aquarium.

That's another, like, indoor activity we can do in Arizona when it's a hundred effing degrees outside. And we love that place. I will say, it kind of hits you when you walk in the aquarium, but it just smells like fish, you know, like, it's like you're going into a, like, a, like, a, a seafood market, you know? That's kind of like your dad and lad activity. I've literally never been to the aquarium. You've have gone so many times. I know. I thought, you're such a good dad. Thanks. I thought I was going to get like a deal. Because if you take, if you get your, if you get your season pass at like the zoo or the aquarium and you go like before your kid turns the age that they cost, then you get that whole year for free with that kid. I literally went the day before Augie's third birthday.

And come to find out, it actually starts costing it too. Which is crazy. So didn't, yeah, didn't save any money. But still amazing. It's still worth it. I mean, we've already gotten our money's worth from the aquarium. It's so educational. They learn a lot.

They always tell me about all the animals when they come back home. They love animals. How do you feel about the fact that our son's birthdays are officially one day apart? That is crazy. That's actually crazy. We're going to have to figure this out. What are we going to do next year? And then our other son's birthdays on a holiday weekend.

I guess what we can do. No one's birthday is getting. celebrated on the day of, apparently. I know. I think that trying to celebrate, yeah, we learned this the hard way. So throwing a birthday party for Griffin on his actual birthday. It's 4th July weekend. It didn't work. Nobody could come. Like it was so sad. So sad. Like we had a party the week before. Huge turnout. So many people came. It was the magic show. And then the next week, because it was over a holiday weekend, nobody came. So we'll move his birthday week up. 100%. Yeah. Which is unfortunate because that's when I'm moving.

move my dad's birthday. Ah, but no problem. We can move that one again. We can just forget about your dad. I think actually at this point, his birthday is canceled. When you're a dad,

I think your birthday just no longer matters. Doesn't matter. It's like. And, yeah. But then this, so our son's birthday, our second's birthday is literally

the day before I went into labor. So his party is now this weekend. Yeah. And then what are we going to do about Fisher in the future? Oh my gosh. they're certainly all getting separate birthdays. And I'm saying this, so I stick to that because it would be so much easier to do a joint birthday.

But that ain't right. Yeah. I ain't right. Can't join them up. I mean, to each their own. But for me personally, I'm like, it's not their fault that their birthdays just fell a day apart. Like any, they should have their own party.

Yeah. So this weekend's the pirate party. It's going to be really fun. I'm excited. Katie, who is on our podcast. Yeah, Katie Church. She's making a pirate ship pinata. That's so funny. Filled with candy and gold coins for it. So I think that's going to be so fun. I love how you invited her to the party. And then she was like, I want to make a pinata for this party.

And she just reached out to you. She said pinatas are so easy. And I'm like, so easy for you. It would take my whole life and it still wouldn't resemble a pirate ship. This is going to be a very premium pinata that we're going to have for this party. Do you even know what's happening for this party? Fill me in. Fill me in on what's happening. It's a pool party. Okay, I did know that. Got a lifeguard.

Got a bunch of diving toys that are Pirates Booty. Let's go. Let's go. Can jump in from a pirate's treasure chest. Okay. School and crossbones everywhere. The pinata. We got actual Pirates booty, the popcorn.

That's hilarious. That'll be great. We're catering Chipotle. Gonna have a birthday cake. It's going to be fun time. I'm excited for that. Chipotle catering is going to be awesome. That was your idea.

That was my idea. And that was someone catered, I think he was either. Chipotle or Hudova at a college graduation party when when like people were you know doing those 10 years ago. We were graduate or no, high school graduation. You remember this that long? It was so good.

I was like one day if I can ever afford it, I'm going to cater to Chipotle for a party. It's actually a look at us now, babe. Look at us now. I would say it's a very good option like cost wise too for the amount of food you get. Yeah. What does crack me up with some of the catering costs though? If you ever go to like cater a party, sometimes. the math doesn't like math for the cost of catering like sometimes it's much cheaper if you were just

to individually buy a coffee for everyone that orders a coffee or individually buy a meal at chapoli for everyone that gets a meal sometimes that's cheaper than the cost of catering for the amount of people you have it's weird but then you don't want to be weird and like get everyone's order ahead of yeah because then that like makes everybody do a lot more work you have to come to the party because we specifically ordered your chipotle bowl have you heard of how people will literally send a bill to wedding guests that don't show up because of how much it costs to have an extra person at your wedding. They'll be like, all right, here's $200 for $200. I get it. I get it, but that's not classy. But it's also rude to RSP. I would agree that's equally not classy.

Yeah. So anyway, this party's going to be freaking awesome. Yeah, I feel like I forgot some of the thing. I got a lot of decor. I was going to get a big inflatable pirate ship for the pool. And I even told the boys about it. And I knew you're not doing that. gonna say no it's not safe it's not safe that yeah I hate I didn't get it well I told did you know about how I like saved my brother's life when I was a kid because I jumped in he got like stuck underneath like a floaty and I saw him struggling and I went and got him out like those are such a danger in pool yeah actually the first time we had a pool party and I hired a lifeguard they said no floaties yeah no inflatables or not no floties no inflatables I know that we have like the floaties on the side of

house for when like if you or your mom wants to have a but not with the kids i honestly even then though i kind of just want to like literally pop all of them because i just don't it seems like we could donate them okay maybe we could donate them but i just don't it's just not worth the risk you know yeah that's scary freaks me the freak out so now they keep asking me about having a pirate ship in the pool i was like no it's not safe and they're like so maybe we could do like a pirate ship kite or something i used to have i had a pirate ship kite when i was i've never been able to successfully fly a kite we We should take the pirate ship kite with us to Newport. Let me go to Newport.

Yeah. Is there a lot of wind in Newport? The beach, yeah. Like, the beach is notorious for having wind. That's where the Wright brothers, when they got the first plane. You're kidding me. Yeah, that's why they, like, Kitty Hawk in, in the, is it North Carolina, South Carolina, one of them? Oh, I thought you were saying it was in Newport.

No, they didn't do it in Newport. The Wright brothers were in Newport? No, they were on the East, it was on the East Coast. Okay. Anyway, Kitty Hawk. My history knowledge. Yeah, that's where they got the first plane to fly, because. because of all the wind.

Wow. And people used to, like, I think they studied, like, kites and stuff, too. That's thrilling. When they were doing that. Thank you to Ocea for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Guess what is on my legs, my arms today, and basically every day. Osea.

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That's O-S-E-A-Malibu.com, code unplanned. We have some rules that we have been following postpartum. No, you broke one of the rules. I broke the rule? What did I break? What did I do? I might be too fresh to bring up. I'm terrified.

I don't even know what it is right now. You said I'm tired. Oh, shoot. Okay, I did say I was tired. And the second that I said it, I immediately regretted it. And then I was like, wait, but I thought I could say it once. No, I can say it once. I can't say that she's tired once.

I can't say that I'm tired once. Yes. So I am so sorry. I should not have said that. You are? Should have not said that I was tired. It didn't start our day well. Yeah.

Not a good way to start the day. It didn't go wrong. Absolutely not. Immediately I felt my body temperature raise when you said that. It's crazy. I'll say like the night when you get when you like you getting, you know, five hours of sleep versus seven hours of sleep. Five hours is not good.

I feel like you're a different, you're a different person. Like I just. So that's why it's like... Also, when I get five hours and it's interrupted, that's... Like, I think if anyone is having some sort of argument or dispute with her spouse in the postpartum stage, it's almost like... It's probably hard to tell your brain this because you're... There's probably something that's making really mad and whatever, but it's like you almost have to just recognize I am sleep deprived. It is...

Yeah. If I had quality sleep right now, this would not be happening. This, yeah, this wouldn't cause such an emotional reaction. Actually, Abby was telling me that this girl that she follows says that nothing counts. Anything that you say to your partner in the night, the first, like with a baby, none of that counts. There we go. I don't know how she actually said it, but something like that. And I was like, yeah, that checks out.

Yeah, that's good. We should initiate that rule. Another rule for postpartum, shower every day. That's one. showering. I smell so bad when I wake up in the morning. I don't, I've never noticed. Yeah, that's because this is a rule. I have to shower in the morning. I've smelled you before the shower and you smelled awesome. No, I don't. I smell so bad. I think it's a hormone's coming out of my body. Another, another rule. I will make Abby's, I make your coffee for you and your eggs.

All these rules are really in my favor. Well, hey, you're the one that needs the extra support. I do. I do. I need the extra super. What are some rules that I'm that I'm forgetting? We're trying to do no binkies. That's not really a rule, but that's like, we're just like trying to not. Well, no, then I try to give him a binky. Sometimes, like, it is helpful just for him to like suck on something for a little bit and then it just falls out of his mouth. But it does kind of help him like chill out. I know what he likes to if he's pants. Oh my God. And I'm like, I'd rather have a binky every once in a while. So we've been nursing a lot, which is good. Yeah.

Just takes a really long time because I think that he just starts to get comfy. He's like, nope. And I can't pry that. I try to like pry him off and then he just gets back on there. Yeah. But yeah, he hasn't really taken a binkie yet, which means I'm still, it's up in the air whether or not this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Yeah. We might find ourselves in a bigger problem than we were with binky obsessed kids. I know. Do we train him to use the binkie? I've tried. I really did train our other two. to use the binky. And then they can...

They can help themselves. Yeah, eventually, like, when they can use their own hands, they can, like, grab the binky and put it back in their mouth. What are you sniffing right now? Do you smell like a newborn baby? I do? Are you smelling my kneecaps? You have to stop using our baby's lotion.

I'm sorry, I've got ashy knees. You smell like noodle and boo over here. Okay. That's... Ouch. Oh, my gosh. You can actually smell... I can smell the baby lotion on my knees.

Dang. So, yeah, the jury's still, like, out of whether or not because at first I was like let's just try to not do a binkie and then I was like well wait a minute now he has no way to like calm down unless he's like nursing yeah and then I try to give him a binkie and it's not working so I don't know the jury's still out whether or not that was a good call but we'll see what are other rules we have um well you've kind of just kind of become the full-time entertainment for our two older kids you're you're the toddler man now.

The toddler man. And I'm the baby lady. What's funny though is I feel like I've got the easier, the easier side. Like I feel like everything you're going through is so much harder. Yeah. Yet like rewind to a couple months ago. And if you're like, hey, I'm going to just peace out and you're going to do everything for our like two little boys, it's just crazy how, you know, like with the perspective

shift that we've had now. You know, that's what it's called your capacity. Both of our capacities have grown. They've increased. So now it feels easy for me to have just a newborn or to have just a newborn and a toddler even still feels easy. Like, then having all three. Yeah.

Which is still, still feels manageable. I don't know. It's just crazy how like your perspective changes so quickly. Mm-hmm. You're capable of a lot. What are your thoughts on my parents coming into town? You know, with our new system, they really could stay with us. that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, we told, so we told my parents that they couldn't stay with us when they came to visit because we're just like fresh in the newborn stage. And so we asked them to stay with your parents and then like come over and hang out. And that was because with our old system, we are using the guest bedrooms that like I could get, I could get some sleep in the night. Abby could get some sleep in the night. But with our new system, we're both not getting any sleep in the night. So I think, yeah, with this new, this new better system where we're both not sleeping, like I think.

Maybe we should keep my parents staying at your parents' house. Maybe we should, maybe this new system isn't so great. I think that the system is working great for me. What's crazy is that we're waking up, I'm actually sleeping, still sleeping less in here. A lactation consultant's going to hate this, but like, what? I can't skip a feeding, don't even ask. Skip a freaking feeding. Let me do the nighttime, let me just do the nighttime and do the bottles in the night.

I'll change, you know, I'll change the, I'll do everything. When I say stib of eating, Matt is saying he wants to give a bottle and I'm not pumping. Yeah, you just keep sleeping. No. Abby, you have so, here's the thing. You're a rare breed of woman. You have so much oversupply. Like, Abby makes, in addition to feeding our son every day, an entire court. We're talking a fourth of a gallon of breast milk that she makes in addition to what she gives her kid. Just right now. I know that it's not going to always be that way. And that, you guys, is primarily from a Haka.

She's not even pumping to get that. It's just falling out from a Haka. That is kind of a form of a pump. So what I'm saying is I feel like, I feel like you should probably just like, I don't know. I just need to get six. I need to get six hours. I think what we could do of interrupted sleep is you could just, you could just keep sleeping through one of the feedings and I'll do the changes and the milk and all of that. Your milk supply is not going to dwindle.

And if it does, if it does, if you start to only have an extra eighth of a gallon of milk a day. I will get mastitis. I know that I will. You think you're going to get mastitis? Yeah, because I wake up for that feed. That's the longest stretch I go in a day. What if we try it? What if we try it?

What if tonight? What if tonight, me and fish, go sleep in the guest bedroom. Next question. I wake up at, you know, 1 a.m. do his feed. And I'll come and get you. I'll come and get you for feeding number two in the night at like four or five a.m. But then you've just like slept. on you just got complete straight sleep from like 10 p.m. till 4 a.m. Wouldn't that be amazing?

No, that sounds absolutely crazy. Wait, why not? I can't do it. I think that you would love that. I would love that, but I can't do it. I don't like it. Okay. Next question. Well, it was worth a shot. All right. He's going to sleep through the night soon. I just know it. So, I just want to stay on the same boob schedule as him. Okay. I think, I do think it's probably best my parents don't say. Gosh, this is looking like we don't, like we don't talk off podcasts. We talk off podcasts, okay, people? We just change your mind all the time. We change your mind.

I especially change your mind. And we actually just for fun sometimes because we talk so much, we just rehab the same conversation. Like we've never had it before. That's actually what we're doing right now is we're having the same conversation that we've had like three times. Literally you do that to me all the time. You just come in the room, we're like, so what if?

And then it's like the same thing that we just had like a conversation about the day before. And we just, and we just redo the same thing. I'm an indecisive guy. You know, I like to think through. And then sometimes I have to break the script. I'm like, hey, wait, you do know that we had this whole conversation yesterday, right?

And you're like, yeah, but sometimes we just do that for fun. What are you leaning towards with my parents? Let's just let him stay. It's fine. Let him stay at our house. We've literally not done anything that we said. So why would we stick to this? I'm vetoing that.

Nope. So what? I think they should stay with your parents. Oh my gosh. Well. Unless they. want to wake up with our kids unless we should just like maybe but that's the thing my mom's no want to sleep it like when she's at our house she wants to be on vacation so she's not going to want to

get up at like six she's going to want to get up at like eight you know like so then there's going to be no sleeping in if my parents could like be with our kids for two hours so we could get some extra sleep then i would be like stay at our house don't know what you're talking about i will not be sleeping i can't i wake up i'm ready for the day i love sleep i love sleep i love sleep i'm I know you do. I love it so much. I know you do. If I'm sleep deprived, I'm just sad. Yeah. I've seen it in you. It's awful. I'm sorry, but can we talk about the night feedings with you feeding the bottle? What? I don't know. Just came in. Wait, what does it feel like? Pins and needles? Yeah. Do you feel like a rush of just like it's a really hard feeling to describe? Like did they, do you feel them getting like, also where when your milk comes in? Where's the milk coming from? Because I thought the, I don't know. Where is made in your breast? So like where else is it?

It's pretty somewhere else and then it's transported. That's so crazy that you can just. I actually don't know what the story behind all that. And it just hurts right now. It's just like. It's a really hard feeling to describe. It feels like this. That feeling.

You ever hear it? Like is it like you know how like if like the water gets turned back on in a building? You can hear it in a pump when it's like a shh-h-h-h- Yeah, no. That's not how it works. Okay. That would be pretty cool if you could hear the rush. milk um what was i talking about no abby says it feels like a wind-up toy like it's like and that's

pretty accurate you're like you know what was i talking about oh the night feedings night feedings yeah can we make a new rule what's the new rule wait no don't say anything that's not nice no farting oh please don't say anything he's already beaten down here here's what's not fair is when I fart you're like

okay I'm sorry but you don't need to do that you're disgusting don't fart and then our kids fart you're like that's so cute do you hear they just farted it's so funny that's hilarious and I give you credit for them I'm like you get that from your dad yep it's your daddy and it's cute when they do it yeah I just can't be sitting there pumping discrimination right there is sitting there pumping and looking at you just holding our

feeding a bottle leaning over to like that's just let me ask you this when you fart what do I do what do I never do that yeah you do of course you do I'm like high five high five high five I mean I can't give I could not possibly give that many high fives in the day maybe if you could just try it for every once in a while how many bottles also do I see you give him we're like here's what's impressive how do you like somehow you're able to pump and read your kindle at the same time when i'm giving him a bottle i am not there's no extra hand for me to read my book while i'm giving a bottle giving a bottle i can only do it like pumping but but then don't

you read your book when you breastfeed too yeah just like this how do you what in the world yeah because i'm not using a hand to give a bottle it's my booed matt yeah just you right yeah just you're right i don't have to hold that anyway I stand by my idea of you sleeping longer than I'm me doing a bottle. I think that would be a great idea. We're both surprised. Only because we're in a very unique circumstance where you have the mother load of breast milk. Which is why I need to pump.

That's true. If you did have like Matt Mastitis. Twice the first time and I didn't get it the second time and I followed these rules. Got it. Okay. Okay. Anyway, it's going well. I would say we're having fun.

I like seeing you all throughout the night. I love that for you. I'm just sitting there. Basically, you know what? And I'm like, this is love. This is marriage. Me wanting to change up our routine in the night. Really, it's just for my love for our three and four years.

Because they've been begging. We told them that after the first week, I'd get to spend the night with them in their room. I still haven't done it. It is breaking my heart. That's what our kids say. It's breaking my heart. But it's so cute. They have been coming in.

Like, still, I tell them that I can sleep with them when they're, their light screen in the morning. And that's like, that means it's 6.45 and they can come get, come into our room. They don't really do that. Well, Griffin does. Griffin, every morning says, dad, the light screen, come sleep with me. And so then we go cuddle in his bed bed. Oh, yeah.

But that's after he's come out. Because I'm usually, I'm usually out of the room by then. Yeah. And they've come out multiple times. That's okay. No, they don't come out because then they're going to lose her privilege. They do come out. Sometimes I'm like, I hope I don't see you.

We need to enforce that. We need to enforce that more. Yeah, I would say we definitely are not strict parents. Thank you to Haya for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I think we speak for most parents of toddlers when we say we are buckling up and already nauseous about 60s and coming up. As parents, we just want to make sure that we're doing what we can to help boost our kids' immune systems, especially now that our kids are in preschool. And that's exactly why we love Haya and include it in our daily routine as parents. Quick, easy.

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addy brought up a really good point the logistics of loading three kids in a car we've kind of crushed that system yeah i would say yeah um okay so first of all the duna really helps because honestly the newborn is the easiest to get in there just in there then we had to teach our oldest to be able to buckle himself. He can buckle himself and he can unbuckle himself and he can unbuckle his younger brother. Yeah. He can't buckle his younger brother. He cannot.

So that's the only thing we have to do. We have to strap the newborn or like get the newborn in. Go around the other side. Buckle our middle child and then get in. Now it does take some time, but I feel like we've, it's gotten smooth really fast because we thought in advance. We're like, we have to teach him. to buckle and to not, or teach him to buckle and then not unbuckle at an inappropriate time.

He was really good with that. I'm wondering how our second is going to do with that. Yeah. I'm really curious. Well, we only know I was going to do with that because he has unbuckled himself. There was a time we were on the highway and he's like. Stop the car. And we're like, what's going?

And he's like, I'm unbuckled. I'm like, oh my gosh. That's the rule. If something happens immediately pull over right away. Yeah. And so he learned like this is something mom and dad take really seriously. Seriously. Literally pulled over on the highway. You're not unbuckled in our vehicle ever. Yeah. And so he's done it like a couple times. And we immediately pull over.

More than twice? Well, I mean, I literally pulled over in our neighborhood. Has he done it with just you? Yeah. Because he's done it with just me. He does tell me. And he goes, start the car. And then of course, our first is really concerned. He's like, it's an emergency. It's an emergency. And so, yeah. You had to teach our kids how to do some things independently. They are so good at doing things independently now. Yeah. But yeah, I have to think in advance. I will say now that we have a three-row vehicle, it's just crazy.

Like the psychology of it. Like I thought our Tesla Model Y was like very spacious and all that. And I get in that thing and it feels like a clown car now. Like it just doesn't feel. It feels small. Well, I think the main difference is really just your head to the steel. makes a big difference of like the feel of the car. Yeah.

Yeah. But yeah. So getting in and out, getting out the door though with three kids has been, that really feels tricky sometimes. All the things you need. Does everybody have shoes? Does everybody have clothes on?

Like, what do we, do we have snacks? Does everybody have a water bottle? Like that, the logistics of all the things we need for, on top of all the things we need for the baby is feeling. a little heavy. You know, my, my thing is.

I feel like we make a million trips in and out of the house. I find it like easier sometimes if you forget snacks. Like if there's a pretzel shop close by, I'll just get, you know, pretzel nuggets and we'll all split them. You just get the snacks that you like. Yeah. Either that or then our kids will raid our friends snacks. No, but I've gotten better.

Anytime we go out, like when we go to the aquarium, you're good now. You bring snacks. I pack snacks. I do pack snacks. Also, some, Something that we're very excited about that's happening tonight, you guys, is we're going on our first ever date since everything, since Abby pushed a baby out.

So we're very excited. We went to brunch. We did a day date. This is a night date. Okay, our first ever night date. And I think we might be going to get sushi and wine, which is awesome. It's been a minute. It's been a minute.

It's been a minute. Fisher is certainly coming with us. Yeah. But, you know, he's a great third wheel. Totally. And it'll be fun. Yeah, I'm so excited to have sushi again and a glass of wine. I'm not even like a wine girl, but something about it after you haven't had it for so long, it really sounds great.

You're funny because you have one glass of wine and you're tipsy. I know it's in my head. I know it's in my head. But I do think there's something, I mean, your body just isn't used to it because you just don't ever have wine. So I think that's a big part of it. Is it or is it all in my head? Is it placebo? I think it's you're such a little lady.

So that's part of it. Not that little. You're tiny. I'm not. You're 5'2. I'm a big girl. I think it's because I went on a walk that really got my circadians going. Yeah, that's good.

Walks the past couple days. Now that I can walk and I don't feel like I'm in pain and it's going to slow down my recovery. I just can't wait until I can work out again now. I know. Guys, I'm not. even kidding you, Abby is like such an animal in the gym. She just, she's not. She's so fit and so good at like working out a lot. Literally all my friends are stronger. I'm trying, that's not true. I'm trying, I've been trying to like go to the gym because I just know that like Abby is about to unleash something.

I will. That's the thing. You will. Yeah. I'm going to try to go to the gym as much as I can with you. That's the thing that you learn through pregnancy though, in my opinion. Maybe out of you feel the same way. But like when you've been pregnant, And then you're not pregnant anymore. You're like, I will never take for granted the fact that I can lift heavy things. I can jump. I can run. I can do these things. You'll never take it for granted again.

I'm pulpit breast during her pregnancy. You're like, wow, I took that for granted. I took that for granted. We'll never do that again. We will never do that again. And that's what, I mean, it's like you, it's good to slow down during pregnancy to, you know, make accommodations for your body so you can. grow this baby but then afterwards you're like i will never take for granted that i can do activities

and so then when i've been pent up for so long it feels so good to get back in the gym that's why i honestly need that's why i love burn too because i know that they will pace me they mark on your thing that you're like postpartum and then they will hold you accountable which is good because i'm like i do need someone to kind of be like hey easy easy there you know i love that yeah I don't even think my abs will... You look so good. You had a baby three weeks ago. You literally had a...

You're too nice. You just had a nine-month pregnant belly three weeks ago. And now you don't even look like you were ever pregnant. That's not true, but thank you. You look incredible. This is why I wear loose things. You look incredible. I don't know how you did it.

No, I wear loose things honestly just because I'm really not sure what's going to fit and I'm not ready to spiral trying to figure out what's going to fit. So we're just going to wear the same things I wore while I was pregnant. Didn't you say that last time you ended up buying a lot of new clothes, but then they only fit you for a little bit of time because then you just weren't able to wear them? Yeah, I think at about like two or three months last time, I like, no, not even. Maybe like two months. Okay.

You bought a lot of new clothes? I bought a lot of new clothes because I was like, I'm never going to fit in anything ever again. And then I didn't fit in those new clothes a couple months after that. and then I had to get rid of them. Why did you just keep them for now? Wow, such a good question. Well, I also think that at this point, postpartum, every time we thought we were done having kids.

Like, I think we were like that being. I think you just get rid of stuff. Like, you and your mom are like really good. This is actually a good thing because I like it. I've already gotten rid of a bunch, like a bunch of maternity clothes, Matt, just so you know. Really? Yeah. No way.

Should I not? I mean, it's fine. It's all good. I mean, like, what? What do you live? Look at me like that. Like, I love that you're not a hoarder. I think you'd really bother me if you were a hoarder.

You actually called me a hoarder sometimes. No, you're not a hoarder. You're a clutter guy. You're a pile guy. I find little piles. You're not a hoarder. You can say it. Our garage has been, I got our garage completely clean.

And then I started making the home gym. No, Matt, this is why. And our garage is kind of a clutter. Yeah, your version of cleaning is taking everything out. and it's just not practical. Gotta help me. You just need to put like a shelf up and then we can, you're like, we just need to clean it.

So we gotta get rid of literally everything. What our garage does need is it needs the ceiling, like storage, where you can have boxes on the ceiling. That sounds miserable. How will I ever reach that? Because you just take a screwdriver, there's like a thing.

You can-st screwdriver. You take the screwdriver and you put it into the little spinny thingy, and then it makes the whole mechanism lower. So it's like a lower, it raises a, lowest. With a screwdriver? Yeah.

I'll show it to you a little. Do we have one of them? Yes, we have a screwdriver. Anyway, yeah, I really, that is something that's so sure. I cannot wait to go shopping. What are you going to go shopping for? I don't know. I just really want new clothes.

Nothing like being pregnant for nine months and then being postpartum to just make you itchy to just get new things. Because, you know, you kind of wear the same few things over and over at the end because it's all that fits and all that feels. comfortable. I feel like we've entered into a really fun stage of parenthood. I think it's, I think it's like so nice having, like having a newborn when you have older kids to know what is going to, like what everything's going to turn into is just so sweet. And he's so sweet too. Even just like when he like looks in her eyes. He's like, it's like he's trying to figure us out just like we're trying to figure him out.

Like we're like, what does he like? Today I was like maybe he doesn't like being swaddled because he does his arms up and then I might try to because like you know we've done this before but also we're trying to get to know him and like specifically and he's trying to get to know us I feel like he just like looks in our eyes and he's just like I've heard this voice for so long yeah and he's like now I get to see you it's sweet he's so sweet he's such a precious little guy and the boys love him they always ask to hold him which is hard sometimes because you're like you're really not sure how to hold a baby very well. So we're like trying to like help them and then they're like let go of your hands.

We're like, no, you can't just hold them on your own. So it's really sweet. And I just can't wait to see like their relationship grow. Oh yeah. With him. And it's just been a really sweet season. You need to go feed them right now? Yeah, probably.

Oh yeah. So your milk came in because it's time to feed them. No, that's the funny thing. Really? You're the time of your milk. Right now it's still trying to figure out. It just. It gets a little trigger happy sometimes.

It just, it'll, it'll figure out when I need to do that more. But right now it's at the point where it's just going to do a random letdown at any point. Gotcha. If I hold the baby, like if I wear him, like if I'm baby wearing Fisher, I will have so many more letdowns than if I, because my body is just like, feed the baby, feed the baby. And I'm like, no. If I hold him, if I look at him, it's just going to make it happen.

That's crazy. Isn't that crazy? That's, yeah, that's insane. It's pretty cool. Your body's able to do some incredible things. It's pretty cool. Yeah. You're an incredible woman.

Hey, you know what? You're a great, you're a great. You like talk about how the newborn stage is hard all the time, but what you failed to talk about is how good you are at the newborn stage, especially for being a man. What, like, what do you mean by that? Like, you're limited by what you can do. Like, you can't feed the baby. You also are like, I feel like most dads are like hands off with like little bit. babies like they're freaked out you are the newborn guy like you are honestly i feel like our babies

prefer you even though i'm the one with the milk like you're so good at knowing how to calm them you're so good at swaddling them you're so good at burping them you're so good at knowing like what they need and just jumping in and doing it like you have so much confidence too as a dad especially with a dad with a newborn you're so sweet like you're so good at i'm like i feel like people don't understand like listening to our show like how good you are with babies like you're insanely good with them. Thanks baby. You don't give yourself enough credit.

And so then that's why it's like easier for me to like get back up on my feet postpartum and do things because it's like I'm not. I would never be able to like brush my hair, brush my teeth if I didn't have you like knowing what to do. And like so I could just have that time to just like do simple hygiene things. even more than that, like I had time to shave my legs and curl my hair today. Like, because you know what's, you know what's up. I will, okay, first of all, that's so nice that you said that.

I will admit, like, before I was friends with a bunch of other dads, I kind of thought of myself as this like, as this, I was like, I'm pretty, I'm doing pretty good. Like, I'm super involved with my kids. I'm doing all this stuff. And then I see how all these other dads are also super involved with their kids and doing a lot for them. And I think that's part of it. I think we are friends with really good people.

But there's also been this huge shift between like nowadays, most dads, at least from what I've seen, are very involved, much more so than they used to be. It's like there's this big shift between, you know, the, the adult men that just want absolutely nothing to do with kids and aren't about it. And then you have like the dad, like the adult men that end up becoming fathers and really want that and welcome that and fully take on all of that. Because like a lot of my close friends, they're like me where, you know, if they work from home, they're taking time out of their workday multiple times from nine to five to play with their kids, feed them, you know, help them go to the

bathroom, change diapers if they need to, take them to school, pick them up from school, like doing all these things that dads, you know, 20 years ago just weren't doing. Yeah. So. Well, especially, in our grandparents generation because remember how much even still oh yeah I mean I think my grandmas are amazed by Matt which it's like it's actually amazing and I am so grateful and I think it's good for me to hear that because I'm like sometimes I do take for granted how good you are with them and how much you're willing to step up and share those duties like like I like me doing the bare minimum in front of your grandma as well I wouldn't say it's the bare minimum and then she and then she's like just just going on and on about how it's sweet good i'm doing she's like you have no

idea how like because i don't think that like it was common for men to even like change diapers to do any of those things now to be fair you are not a full-time stay-at-home mom like you work i'm also a breadwinner you're also yeah you also make the roles shifting you make money okay no like we're we're both we both work and we're both very and we're both very and we're both very all of parents. Yeah, we have a, it's kind of like we share,

we share both duties. The responsibilities of work and home, you know? We're a good team. Which is good. It's been really fun to be like teammates together and like in both work and at home. Yeah,

I think it's really good that our kids get a lot of time with both of us. It's not just all me or all you. Yeah. So, which is a privilege. Like a lot of, that's a very unique setup. Oh yeah.

Usually like people aren't able to like shift schedules around like that or shift duties and it doesn't make sense to do that. So we're so. grateful and it's been so fun. Yeah. It's been so fun. Like, yeah. And it's been, it's like already so rewarding.

Just like, like, you know, there's not much like that a newborn gives you, but I just am already anticipating like his smiles. But it's like so silly. But even like him gaining weight is like, yay. Or like him pooping. We're like, woohoo. He's doing everything right. Like, and I just know that it's just going to keep getting more and more rewarding.

like a smile, a laugh, like eventually saying, mama, sitting up, crawling. Like, there's just so many things to look forward to. And we already know. Like, it's just around the corner. You're right. Sweet. Well, you guys, thank you. If you've made it to this far in the podcast, oh my gosh.

Thank you. You're like one of the rare groups of people that actually finish the podcast. So thank you. We will have another episode for you guys next week. as always and if you haven't hit the subscribe button that would mean so much to us is actually over half of the people that listen to our show are not subscribed so if you could just check to see that you're subscribed that would be awesome it's a free way you can support us and as always peace out dudes peace