The Vault with Financielle - A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT & “Is Wedding Debt Really Worth It?”| The Vault Episode 85

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

Send us a textWE’VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE FOR YOU 🥹A big announcement, followed by this week’s controversial opinion, “Parents shouldn’t pay for their kids’ weddings”. We then dive into your dilemmas:💸 ” I can’t bring myself to spend”💸 ” Is Wedding Debt Really Worth It?”Got a money win or (totally anonymous) dilemma? Share it via the Financielle app community or email [[e-mail]] 💌You’re not alone in figuring this stuff out. Get honest, helpful reads at [financielle.com] 💖💸Connect with our Partners🐝 Consolidate your pensions with PensionBee (capital at risk)🫶 Protect yourself and loved ones with our friends at Lifesearch✍ Write a will that is tailored to you with Octopus Legacy🏡 Meet our Financielle approved Mortgage Brokers💸 Commission-free investing* with Trading 212 (capital at risk)🛒 Cashback on your shopping with Jam Doughnut (use code FINC)*The above are tracked links, which tells our partners we sent you and may in future result in a payment or benefit to our site.The Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Welcome to the Vault. This is a safe space where we talk all things, life and money, and no topics are off limits. You might want to switch over to YouTube today. I can't keep us in a straight face. We've got a special reveal, first and foremost. Somebody knew is on the couch. You all want to see it. Are they going to talk?

Unlocked. Revealed. You have to lean into Holly's mic and say hi to everyone. ask to see Lydia all the time all my friends are like, I just want to see Lydia because she's so funny and I hear her in the background

and I just, it's like an enigma like I want to see Lydia. Here she is. You know, Oudy. The magic's gone now, isn't it? I'm no longer the stick. Yeah, no. We've done an unveil

but we've done an unveil in a special way because you hear us. I think we possibly did a full episode talking about dressing gowns a couple of weeks ago did we know a couple of shows ago and Lydia had the bright idea

of making us all come in our dressing gowns. And I have to say, there's some absolute snazzy dressing gowns on this couch. Lucy, do you want to talk, for the listeners that aren't watching at home, do you want to talk us through your dressing gown? This is my hyperfixation dressing gown. It's the dressing gown that I begged Alex for for Christmas last year and pretended I was surprised when I opened it.

This is my Jeff Avenue dressing gown. Can you describe it to the viewers? For the audio listeners, it's, would you say this butteryellow? Yeah, lemon. Yeah, lemon. lemon and it's got fruits all over it. I couldn't tell you what any of these fruits are, to be honest. I can see strawberries.

A peach. A pear. It's a bit like a children's dressing gown in the nicest way. Like it's colourful and it's aesthetic. Yeah, it's quite nostalgic. Yeah. So Jurf Avenue, who makes that? Matilda Jurf, controversial lady.

She's the TikTok influencer or Instagram. And it was an investment as well. Investment piece I would say. It's not the greatest quality. Sorry, this is a money show. Can we talk about whether it's an investment? Or how much was it? How much was it?

I think it was like 90 pounds. Do you rent it out to people in the paying money? No. Get it on buy rotation. It's quality and you use it a lot. I do use it a lot, but you're not sure of the quality. Quality is not the best. It's depreciating and value.

Listen, you nearly didn't have it here today. Why? Oh my God. Well, this has never been washed at some form of it. And how long have you had it for it for? Since Christmas. Okay, we're in October. Because there's so much stuff on TikTok about all the girf having new stuff,

not being the greatest of quality. And I didn't want to put it in my washing machine, which is quite aggressive washing machine. It's a lot of my clothes. I need to figure it out. I just put it on like cotton, everything. You do have a rotation of dressing gowns as well, so you have different ones that are used for different things.

So she's not worn it every day for 300 days or whatever. It's not the fake tan one. It's not the fake time one. We don't want to see the fake down one. So I actually had to wash it yesterday for the first time ever. And I was so scared it wasn't going to dry on time and I didn't want to tumble dry it too much because I didn't want that to wreck it as well.

But finished it off in the tumble dryer. When I did that, I accidentally put it on a wash. Yeah, you've rewashed it again. Because I've got a tumble, like a, what's it? Wash a dryer. Yeah. So I actually put on a wash. So not only did you wash it once in 300 days,

you actually washed it twice. In the face of four hours. And look, I think this is as a result. It's tight. The cotton's coming off. It's falling apart. It's beautiful. We have to say it's beautiful.

I do have a bugbear with washing machines. You can't just stop them. Can you once you started? You're in. Can someone make that washing machine? That's when someone puts like a mobile phone and they could just see it going around. Yeah.

When you're like, I changed my mind. Yeah. Just cancel. Drain the water. Mine's always, I found a sock on the way back from the washing machine. Yeah. To another room. I'm like, God damn it.

Yeah. And it's on and it started. There's a washing machine where you can open the window, just saying and you can chuck a sock in. I remember seeing that out of that on TV. Well, in America, they've got the big lift and throw things in. Yeah, that would be better.

It's clever. Lydia, do you want to talk through your number? Mine's beautiful. It really is. Make sure we can hear you. Can we hear? Calvick. We're good.

Can we hear it? Like the Beatles. Mine's just an uddy. It's very thick. I'm absolutely boiling. Is that studio lights as well? So we would say Udi. Is it Welsh to be like Udi?

Udi. Yeah. Oh, Ouddy. It sounds better Ouddy I like Ouddy But it's got a little happy avocados With little holding little nuts

And little toasts Oh I've not seen a toast Show me a toast Oh yeah It's a mint green number It's beautiful It's beautiful I love it

It looks so soft We're a big fan of this one Yeah if you want a partnership Udi Udi She's here I'm here And then Laura and I have got

The same dressing gown on In two colour ways It's giving luxury. Yes. And Laura's the most glamorous dressing gown wearer with like lovely curled hair. She had to take off the nice gold necklace because we were saying it made her look a bit Hugh Hefner.

He did. I was like, but I was panicking because I couldn't do it. I was like Lydia take it off. Lydia! Lydia! Lydia! I'm just stressing out.

Because I'd put it on myself, but I was I couldn't get off. But yeah, I thought it was a bit too dirty man who's 80s. But these are rosy numbers from M&S and that they do them every year in different colourways so this is the one that i think we've talked about on the pod before where i've wanted a dressing gown for years and just have just never i think you do we've talked about that before if you go on a money journey and you become a non-spender it's really hard to spend especially on things for

you if you don't physically go shopping if you don't like online shopping and i remember getting it in january in the sale our friend got a disc our friend had a discount and prompted does anyone want anything and i'm usually ignoring the messages i'm like actually yes and i honestly why didn't i do this soon i know why didn't that but i copied holly because she'd always every day talks about the rosy dressing girl yeah in winter like today we're in we're in october the weather's getting colder it's a perfect morning dressing gown this is the perfect gift dressing gown i think like if you don't know what to get for christmas yeah like that is a show stopping gift i think but lucy thinks we look like mum's on Christmas morning.

Actually, we all feel like it's Christmas morning because we've got some amazing, exciting news to share with you all. We didn't open with the news. We tricked you all. You thought it's all about dressing girl. We've got a special... Just be quiet and listen, Siri.

Siri, you can... Siri doesn't understand. Be quiet. Tripping in. Very excited. Do you want to physically show the news, Lucy, to a camera, some people that might be watching?

It's an engagement ring. Oh my God, series popping up today. Is that my laptop? We're setting off all the series. They've never done that in the history of the pod and now they're all getting involved. So we're excited. Yeah, they're getting in on the action.

So we have to decide, right, how much we want her to share because one, it's personal to her, but two, she's all our friends. So we're all listening. I think our listeners will be invested. Well, I'll give a brief TLDR Yeah Basically we went for a holiday

In Italy We went on like a hiking holiday Kind of wasn't expecting it Not really the proposal Vibe holiday really Stayed in like waterproofs and cagulls Literally He's got you

Stayed in this vineyard Went for a wine tasting Which I organised So that's not as a Like, that is a surprise because you all organize this. I'm the organiser for everything. And then we got taken like after the wine tasting to this vineyard and there was a whole like picnic set up and everything.

And I was like, oh, we've definitely not paid for this. It was only 30 euros. Like, bargain. Keep your mouth closed, Alex. And then we sat down and I was like, I've not organized this. Like, this is really like extra for what we've, from what it seemed like on the description. And then Alex was like. like, oh, I've actually organized this.

Did it click then when he said, I've organized this? Kind of, because he was like this. Nervous. Well, I've actually... No way. He was sat dead awkwardly on the picnic blanket. I was like, what are you doing? Sit down?

Like, sit in like that. Enjoy the chocketry board. Yeah. It's like, ick. Did you have a tiny moment of rage when you found out he'd organize something? Yeah, I was not on the notion planner. I'm just about to say this isn't on the notion page. Yeah, I did actually. No, it was, no, it was perfect. And it was like sunset. And my thing for

this holiday was like, because it was so many nice like meadows and everything. I wanted to frolic on this holiday. Like every night at like golden hour. Do you know, and it's like the sun. Like basically what does that actually? Is it running through a me? Just running like this. Sound of music. Sounded music. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In all the like alpine fields. The brooks. Yeah. That's cute, isn't it? So, and I was like, I want to frolicing. look at least once a day. 8pm, frolic.

It was like 5.5. And then, so yeah, and I was like, oh, this is perfect frolic. So I went for a frolic. With a ring going. I've got a video of that. I was just about saying. I need video evidence of said frolic.

Yeah, definitely. But yeah, it was perfect. Well done. Alex is what I can say. Like perfect proposal, gorgeous ring. Didn't you also steal Taylor Smith's Thunder? And I agree you did. Yeah.

I didn't realize until, To be fact, it happened to meet first. It did. You literally, it was like, oh, congrats Taylor, but she copied you. And now I'm, like, I mean, we said this a good few episodes ago of the PR proposals. Like, this summer has been the summer of engagements. And now I'm on board with that, as well. So I probably take back everything I said in that episode, guys.

I think we talked about the social element of said proposal. And I think yours was very personal to you. And I think you probably stand by that still. Like it was perfect. Guy did good. Yeah. He did really well. Met the brief.

Yes. Was the moment filmed? No. That was the thing we talked about, I remember. I said, I don't want it filmed. So the guy who was doing the wine tasting and owned the vineyard and his wife was the one who was like organising everything with Alex. And she like left under this box, do know those Polaroid cameras? But it didn't work.

She was like, also you could take nice photos afterwards but we couldn't get it to work. Oh no, what a shame. But you had your phone and you can take pictures then. Well, congratulations. Thank you. From everyone listening, I'm hoping you are,

I just want to know if you all squealed. Yeah. Because that's the thing is if one of your friends gets engaged and you're driving along and the kids are being noisy and you're like, shh, she's telling us what's happening and it's fun because like one of my really close friends also got engaged in like May.

so we're like should we just go to some wedding fair some like you know cake for just the like have you ever seen bride wars yes so just be careful careful with this friend but yeah

amazing well you've made our day week we're now cooking on the seats because we're warm in our dressing gowns but no massive congratulations from all of us thank you one last question have you got a wedding sinking fund. Not yet.

Not yet. We're going to create one of those. Yep. We'll follow the journey, won't we, Lydia? I think our viewers want to know how you plan, what your plans are. How are you going to afford it? How are you going to save up for it?

In fact, we're going to have to reserve probably one dilemma a week for Lucy because she's got this like, do I buy a house, do I invest? People are really interested and now you've got to throw in, oh, when are you getting married and stuff like that. So, yeah, how you navigate it. We're going to be excited. We're going to follow. Yeah.

Definitely. Exciting. Okay, well, moving on to today's controversial opinion, saying on the same theme, parents shouldn't pay for their kids' weddings. What do you think? I think, yes. This is a plant. This is not a controversial opinion.

Send this to my parents. What do we think? So say it again, parents shouldn't pay for their kids' weddings. 100%. Shouldn't pay at all. shouldn't pay anything that's what I feel in my gut I know I joke about it but I don't know I feel like I would just need to pay them back in some way my parents paid for some of my wedding really like a wedding gift yeah and Neil's family paid for some as well like they wanted to contribute

yeah something that was important to them like and one thing that was important to mum was like buying my wedding dress she was like I really want to buy your wedding dress and I think that's quite a traditional thing that some yeah my mom said that yeah and I think I answered it on the the should so I'm I think my parents also helped because we have the same parents and so this would be a really awkward moment they did, they did, I'm kidding

but imagine if I was like, I didn't know, I paid them. I remember mum being like, Laura went into a 21st birthday, like a boogey one and mum was like, I remember mum specifically saying, I can put money towards that or your wedding and she was like, my 21st. I did, I did.

And then got married and got money for that as well. That's what they call a hustle. Yeah, yeah, it was a decade later they've forgotten. But on that basis I think it's never expected. anything if people want to. Yes.

Because I've seen dynamics change when you can't have something unless they contribute. And then it's like, oh, your auntinella needs to come to the wedding. Who? Your dad's cousin. Who? And then have you not thought about having this for lunch? Oh, we should have beef. We should have the beef.

It's like, hang on a minute. And obviously years ago, presumably this was like, I mean, even I hate their fucking, oh, this so personal. I'm really sorry. Imagine people when it's like, Mr. and Mrs. Blobby invite you to the wedding of their daughter to such a thing. And it's from years ago where the parents did host the wedding, you know, you didn't have any money then. You got married younger and I'm talking like hundreds of years ago. And it's still a tradition to have the bride's parents inviting you to the wedding to their daughter. And I'm like, ew. But like, that's because it was from a time where the parents hosted the wedding.

Everyone talked about the bride's parents. I didn't know that. Like, they hosted. Yeah, yeah. It was like to be an invitation from the bride's parents. That's who the invitation would come from. And sometimes a groom as well. I've seen it with the, I've seen that where it's been like, Mr. and Mr.

and Mrs. someone invite you to the wedding of marriage of the. I don't think you have. I'm like, I'm selling my wife. Bridgeton vibes. It is. Well, it is selling your child, basically. That's what it used to be. Yeah.

Maybe that's why the bride's family, because it was like, see you later. Yeah. Thanks for taking us off our hands. So I'm sorry if you did have that on your wedding invitation if you went for the traditional vibe. But it is the thing, coming back to the payment. Yeah, I think you...

It should be a prerequisite. You don't get married knowing that your parents are going to pay. It's like a bonus or it's something that they want to do on their own terms. You know, a lot of parents, a lot of people aren't privileged to have parents that can afford to contribute to the wedding. So you'd hope that it wouldn't kind of sour the relationship if it turned out in the parents like, I actually can't afford.

like I'm happy to, I don't know, contribute to your honeymoon, or not whatever it might be as a wedding gift, but I can't actually afford to pay for your wedding times are very different now to when they were years ago. People don't have stashes of cash hanging around. People have more than one wedding. People get remarried. It's like, I paid for the first one, not paying for you.

Imagine that. If you're like, you know, she's in her early 20s and they're like, we want to pay for your wedding literally two years later of divorce. And it happens and that's what it is. You're not supposed to stay with someone because your parents paid for your wedding, but then to be like, we're getting married.

And they're like, literally have just paid off. Or could still be paying off. Yeah. And that's one of the dilemmas we talked about before, still paying off weddings years later. Even when people have, we've done it where someone's been divorced, but they're still paid a wedding off. So when we're coming back to you, Lizzie, what we're saying is

build the wedding that you and Alex want and if family want to pay for elements of it, they sell to pay for what you want. And it's a lovely gift for them to be able to do. yeah um but it's always much better to to plan for what you can afford because then there's i know your family wouldn't do it but some families there is that dynamic then which is like this whole thing wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for me yeah well i didn't want this anyway yeah i've ended up with a wedding that i didn't actually want because i'm feel guilt trip by you paying

for it what do you think lydia i have no idea it's like a lydia's planning this out in her head how it would work out Lydia's like the last sister not engaged or married out of the like little women. So no pressure. You're the one that dies. You're the one that will go off and travel the world and live in the best life where we're all trained to our husbands. You have a great life, Lydia.

No, I definitely agree. I think don't expect anything. And then if anything else comes extra, like it's just a nice bonus. Yeah. Probably use it for honeymoon. I'll spend more on that. No, that's a gift that's separate.

They'll give you that as well. What did, I remember you giving us like the rundown and the proposal and how it all happened and stuff. What was the words that your dad said to Alex when Alex asked your dad if he could marry you? Oh, he said, your problem now. Although he did actually say, oh, this is on topic actually. So my brother and his fiancé also are engaged this summer as well. And when, apparently when Alex asked, my dad's got this, like, big Scandinavian cruise plan for when he, like, retires and stuff, which is going to be in, like, a year or two. And apparently he said to my stepmom, he was like, Kathy, cancel that Scandinavian cruise, got two weddings straight.

Hence more reason to stagger weddings for parents if they are going to help. Like, can you not do it at the same time? Oh, the fact that he said that was so lovely. Yeah. Step mom was like, what? cancel the grooms We're going to Norway You know what I would do

Is like any money you get Like keep the wedding in your own budget And then any extra money Just blow it on the honeymoon Yeah that's why Skim off the top Or invest it Oh

This is a money part for a lot of the money stuff Scheme it off the top No because she invests already She doesn't need to put gifts into investments Unless she wants to Because she's already doing that So yeah Where's the I mean Grace Beverly

Went to Bora Bora this summer Didn't she for her And that's the word That was a wedding. That was a wedding. So it will be interesting to see how your budget will go now because you've got access obviously that you put towards investing. Do you reduce your investing and put some towards the wedding budget?

How do you create some sort of access to pay for a big life goal? And this is what, whether it's buying a house or going on an amazing holiday or whatever, changing career, building an emergency fund, all our listeners always want to know, like, how do I create that excess of my budget to hit that money goal? So we definitely will be documenting it and letting people know how to pay for a wedding while still investing and making sure you've got an emergency fund and all that lovely stuff.

Yeah, I think we'll definitely start minimal. I mean, it's going to be a good few years. Yeah. I think we'll start minimal, figure out what we want. Yeah. And then, like, make a proper budget for her. Yeah. I'm excited to get started.

And I know. I know. I'm excited. Congrats. Massive congrats. Okay. Time for our first. Dialema.

Are you ready, Lydia? Lydia's in the dilemma's chair with us now. She's not letting her go. She's like, what? She actually can't get up because we and Holly have squashed her in with these. She's actually stuck. I actually was getting hot and thought, are we taking our dressing gowns off,

but I've just got to put her on. I can't take that off off. I mean, the viewings might go up, but. Oh, they know they won't. Put it back on. We've got loads of viewings on YouTube. Do you want to know why? Laura's half naked.

Laura's just in a necklace. We took the necklace off, so it's all we need. You're like Titanic when she's in the necklace. Paint me like one of you. You're rich girls, Jack. Oh, French girls. That could be the financial version. Make me like one of your rich girls.

Did you all see that? Did you all see that ending on that one? Let's start the podcast so I can sweat later. Yeah. Okay. Dilemma number one. I can't bring myself to spend. I've always been the tight friend and family member. I know my home needs some TLC and have a hundred and have a hundred, and have a

thousand pounds pot for this but even though i have money allocated i know i won't spend it it's the same with clothes i have a pot and still spend less than a hundred pounds a year even though i have more allocated i need new clothes and my house needs upgrading and i have the money allocated but i just know i won't spend it which is actually becoming detrimental how do i get over this feeling oh i feel really sorry for them there's obviously some sort of barrier yeah and one way to get over this because I think Laura mentioned it before, like when you've been on a money journey, you can get into that mindset where you're scared to spend or you feel guilty to spend. You're like, it should be going to something else. Like, this is frivolous. This is, especially if you've had maybe an impulse

spending problem before or you've been grown up in a situation where you've not got much money to kind of go around. So there's that scarcity mindset as well. It could be either or. And one way, like, I needed to do stuff in my house and I was being very stubborn. I didn't want to spend the money. And I found when you're just scrolling aimlessly through stuff, you're like, no, I'm not paying that. I'm not paying that. Whereas if you create some sort of mood board with that you really want and I think for the clothing element this could be quite helpful and the home one like create a mood board of what you want your house to look like and you can do it on Canva you can do it on even word like anything Pinterest

Pinterest is like free mood board and build what your dream one looks like and then create some sort of waterfall budget where you work through that's a good idea yeah like what is it at one and I think I've done it with a couple of rooms in my house where I've been so overwhelmed and I've gone right I'm going to just what do I like pull it all together and then literally write how much everything is with the most addictive thing first and then work your way through. I think just getting out that mindset of scrolling namelessly, not an, I'm doing myself, putting in the basket, never buying it. Like, wandering TK. Macs and being like, I just love those TikToks. I was like, excuse me. Oh yeah. A lampshay with a scrolls tail hanging off

the end of it with the weird orange lighting. Why, yes, we do. Here it is. But it is that over, I would do that. If I walked into a Home Sense, TK. Max, I would go along every aisle and go, wow, and come straight out again. It's too overwhelming. Knowing what you're looking for. And that it then wouldn't be like an impulsive random purchase it fits in. One thing that I kind of want to point out to him or her, but I think it's her, is when you have sinking funds, that money's already spent. Think of it as spent. That's not savings.

It's not taking money from something that's important. It's not taking it from your emergency fund or your rainy day fund. it's already mentally spent. And the good thing about sinking funds is when you've done that, it's also not hijacked everything else. And so you can assure yourself that when you did the budget, there was room for that cash to be away. And so when you spend from a space, a sinking fund space,

completely approved and doesn't, like, why wouldn't you? Because if you're not going to use it, then you should have moved it out of that space anyway and put it towards investments or savings. And you've not. You've mentally gone, that's okay. Yeah, I like seeing it as money that's already been spent because, like, I mean, I am a spender, but from our sinking funds

and it does feel like free money because when you do that budget at the start of the month, it's like it's gone, like it's out of the picture. It's already designated to that specific thing. It's not an impulsive spending. Yeah, it's just literally that mindset switch that needs to change, isn't it? Lydia, what would you say? Because we always talk about this with you, don't, like, you struggle to spend even though you've got a budget, yeah.

I think what Laura is. said with the like that is already spent that pot like you've got to think of each each one as like a little sugar daddy. I was like I was wondering where that was going. I was like oh yeah like the pot's gonna take care of it for you. Yeah. Don't worry honey. I've got this. That's so good. This is on my little treats making fun. It's on me. Yeah. I love that. Like I got um I've got a little fun money pop. Yeah. You have a lot of fun. So you must spend that? I don't.

Where's a crafting come from? Oh, that's where the crafting. Oh, okay. I'm really reluctant and then I'll think about something for ages and then I really want it and then I got so excited about this need, this latch hook thing. I don't know what it is, but you make like a cushion and I've sat on the, I've got no sofas at the moment. I'm getting new sofas on Friday, but I just sat on the bare floor like for five hours last

night. Hyperfix. But tell me. How long did you want this thing, or was this an impulsive buy? Like, had you overthought buying it? I think about, I think I followed them on Instagram for maybe a month. Yeah, so here we go. And then I was like, I really, really want it.

And then I, and then I was like, you know what? Fun money sinking. Yeah. Whereas if it just come out of your main account or wherever it might be. Oh, no, I would be stressing. Yeah. It's ironic as well because it's something for you. So some people really struggle to spend on themselves.

If it was for someone else, if it was a gift, it was, you know, food's a bit of a utility. I mean, we do it with food and I would still do it. Like when I think my auntie, me and my eldest, like love Asian foods, like Chinese food, Japanese food, like all day long. So we love soy sauce. And I was just buy soy sauce from like, you know, supermarket's own brand, as to say, which is whatever.

And I think she'd been around once and they do this my mom and auntie. They go, hmm, that's shit. I'm going to buy you a new one. Yeah. Don't like that coffee you have, so I got this one. I've replaced it. Yeah. And she was like, right, I've got you a good bottle of soy sauce.

It was a big bottle. And she was like, it makes all the difference. And I was like, oh, it's just a bit of like, it's a bit salty. It's just to improve. Oh, my God, this, it's not bougie, but it's not the own brand. It's probably not, it's less water and more actual soy sauce. And it is game changing. But I'm like 38 years old and I would never have in the shop gone,

I'm going to go for the one that's two pound more. Over here I can go get a coffee for six pound. But in the shop, I'm not. And it's the same with olive. which we've talked about on here a lot and butter and stuff. And it is that necessity thing. I think a lot of us are okay spending. But when it's optional, a choice for you,

you go, you like, you debate the decision. You have that problem with food, don't you? No. I should get the cheap butter. It won't make any difference. My food shop is like, I'm spending like I'm a millionaire. Oh my God, I bet you would get so roasted

if you put that on TikTok. You would absolutely get tore apart. This is my food budget for me. One person. This is my butter budget for the month. Yeah. Literally. Although there are certain things.

Like, I think we spoke about this in Slack the other day. We were talking about sushi. And I, my cupboard is just full of like 10 bottles of dark so sauce like Tesco's own version. And so I was like, oh, I'm going to get that one in the nice bottle. Yeah. Is that the one? Yeah. And I was like, I'm going to get that, like, because I figured out how to make sushi at home.

So I was like, let me. And it's worth it. It can elevate a really boring meal. I don't like it. Well, it wasn't that one that I got. It was a different one. So I'll send you that one. You can have a look.

I'll try it. I think I just like really cheap soy sauce. Listen, I like cheap salt and vinegar crisps. I just want to say you like cheap. Chip sticks and there's certain things. Yeah. So this is about psychology and how you view it. And knowing that the wheels won't fall off by spending.

you're allocated, already spent money from your sugar daddy account, get it done. God, if someone just listened to that and didn't think, hear the explanation, they were like, let the sugar daddy cover it. It's the sinking from that covers, yeah. Oh, sorry, I'm going to add one more to that because our friend Alison was rubbish at spending ourselves. She was a super saver.

And she was like, she done an hour or everything. And I kept going, and I think she thought I'd be like, yeah, yeah, don't. And I was like, you can't afford it. Like, stop it. Stop it. And sometimes you need someone to like, shout at you and you're like you're being ridiculous you're overthinking this you can afford it and it's a bit of permission from someone as well so as it depends it depends if i wonder if the person

who's written this is like oh i really want that but don't don't spend or if she just doesn't want anything or she's like and inspired yeah oh so then my final tip is find someone that likes to spend so that can take you that can take you shopping yeah yeah yeah yeah find things for you that you know that they know you'd like and they'll push you to spend yeah bring a bit of fun into it. Yeah. This will come. Holly will come with its interiors.

Yeah, I'll come. I'll help you do. Build the intro. Me and later would be no use. We'd be like, no, don't go. Go home. We don't need it. Okay, time for a community win.

It feels so strange to say this, but after making my last payment today, I am completely free of consumer debt. I started my financial journey last year with 16K in consumer debt across credit cards and car finance. I've budgeted every month. sold things, switched banks for cash incentives, done odd jobs for cash, paid attention to interest rates and been the most financially savvy I've ever been. In Feb, I celebrated paying off my credit cards and now I've paid off my car. The bank transfer was very anticlimactic. Where were the

glitter cannons? Oh, it's so easy to forget that that's why we're here because we have a great time in our dressing gowns and chatting, talking about food and clothes and travel and, but like, all the time we're having fun chatting and everyone's listening at home. Everyone's on their own mini journey, aren't they? And someone is 16 grand. That's incredible. Ground it out. That takes years for people.

Not even a year. That's incredible. Yeah. I think you're right. Like we're just like, oh, this is great. We have a great time doing this. But actually there's people constantly. And I feel like the pod has done this.

Like the amount of I send them to every day emails that we get into the vault at fananshell.com being like, I love the podcast. Oh my God. This was a lightball moment. thank you so much. You talk about it in a way that I can relate. Like I totally understand. I'm so on board. I've never been good with money and I actually like actively talk about it with my friends now or family or whatever it might be. And the pod I just think makes it so money accessible, money chat accessible for people. Yeah. And and keeps you motivated because

this, this shit's hard and boring and long. And, you know, the softer side of the stuff that we want to do at financial is meant to complement some of the hardest stuff. Like the budget's hard, especially if you don't like budgeting, if you don't like numbers, you're a big spender. listening out all your debts is a really hard thing to do. And so, like, we hope that our, you know, shows like this can help keep you motivated without being like, go and pay off your debt and you're being stupid and why are you being quicker. But that, we have a wins Slack channel and look, like, life's hard, lots of us going through

lots of different things at different times, works hard, travels hard. And, you know, you could have had a bad night's sleep and you log on. Because obviously, you know, we're running the business and we're doing lots of different things to kind of build out the app and help this show and help reach more. people and one win will just pop in and you'll go oh my god and we just love it please do continue to send them obviously we'll share them on here and and put them in the community as well in the app because you just don't know you'll definitely make our day like literally I think we go that's made my day every day yeah literally every day but someone else listening to this

they'll go I'm in 16 grams of consumer debt and I my calculator says it's going to be three years and I'm going to now do it I wish I could give you glitter cannons yeah like the any of this is the banks won't be happy though no not really because they make more money from you being in debt you know banks aren't happy that our community are making because they have to clear it up yeah they will not be happy with them need a brush it needs to be environmentally friendly glitter but do you know what I mean like we're celebrating this win but actually banks probably don't like us very much because we're like stopping them from making money on your on the interest on your debt I'm hoping you celebrated in some way because it is a bit of an un-and-

climatic like underwhelming okay do you remember kelly from our community she had a debt-free party yeah that was so cool with a little bottle of champagne and she had debt-free didn't she like letters like buntings and stuff bunting yeah you need a party through yes a party massive pat on the back massive pat on the back well done we could have had glitter cannons we could and then um you'd have had to clean it up no do that next episode the community in the app or email it to the vault at financial.com. Okay, second dilemma of the day. Is wedding debt really worth it? Hi ladies. I'm a big fan of financial and was hoping you could please help me with my dilemma. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and are starting

to think about marriage. We currently live overseas, having moved for jobs two years ago. During this time, we have been able to save enough money for a deposit on our first property in the UK. We have no debt and are both consistent savers. So the plan is, buy our first property within the next 12 months, get married and start a family. Buying a property is our priority and we feel privileged to know that we have enough money saved to do so. However, we're really grappling with how to afford a wedding. After buying a house, our savings will be depleted and would only cover a small wedding if we want to keep some savings for emergencies. Neither of us want a big blowout wedding but we genuinely don't understand how people our age even afford medium-sized ones i feel

times have changed from when our parents got married and it's and it was easier to have a big wedding i know at the end of the day it's just a big party but i still feel like we are being torn in two different directions as we've always both wanted at least a medium-sized wedding is it normal to go into debt to pay for weddings do you have any advice do you have any advice i probably went ham on this after you're in use i feel like we've already addressed this one yeah I mean, they sound like such a switched on, like, with money. Got the shit together. You can't go into debt.

Like, I feel like you'd panic. Like, you're so organised. And you'll be in, like, your new house and everything. And then you're going to have, I don't even know how much wedding costs. Thousands. Give me a figure. 20 minimum. And you're going to have 20 grand debt.

That's not how you want to. Ultimate money hangover. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right on the first one you said 20 holly was like no that must be a big one but we're talking all in so like a smaller wedding it might be like 10 all listen there are budget weddings so we're not talking about people that are um doing optimizing it massively but yeah smallish wedding you wouldn't get much change from 10 when you add up all the different elements of outfits and venues and food it's food and entertainment and ceremony and flowers god flowers and so um yeah you're probably not far off with the medium to larger wedding costing around 20 and then like the sky's the limit

and um 20s like even on the low side yeah I just when you know things cost more in my head it would yeah it's just so expensive how many people are going to be going like is the transport like it's minimum spend at places as well because of what they can make so if you want some of these nicer venues

just for Lydia's face but I think there's a trend at the moment and I love it but actually it's not savvy as you first think because a lot of like influences we might have talked about on the PR we might have talked about on a podcast before the ones where they go and get married at the registry office and then they go for a restaurant dinner after it's just so sophisticated and so lovely but those people I follow then have a destiny that's their like that's their mini wedding I'm like that's a perfect wedding like that is literally perfect and I think we've all been trained to be like

so that's the pre-wedding yeah we have a little white dress or we have a white suit like gorgeous town hall little, you know, it's always in London like a red bus to the, to a really fancy like restaurant, that's amazing and then three weeks later we're going to Spain to get married in like an amazing like villa. It's like, no, no, that's a wedding.

That is absolutely stunning and I think you know, if people had their time again and especially the people that have had this financial hangover, wedding hangover, their advice might be that they wish they'd maybe done something a bit more low key and not done the thing because they thought they should or it was the trend or I think it had.

highlights that financial crunch time for, you know, if you do meet someone and if you do decide to get married, that house married. And house again, like you move in, the money doesn't stop. Like, you might need Sereno. You might need to buy furniture. You might need to do lots of different things. And then we're talking about children and we've talked about a lot where it could be like fertility cost as well as the cost of having children. And the God, it never stops because then they're in chalco. Yeah, there's potentially three big life events together. Yeah.

That a lot of people go, what order should we? Absolutely. And then maths is maths. So back to your point, Lucy, something has to give. And it's not a good idea to use debt, to fund an element of it, make the maths work.

So what size wedding can you have? Or if you want a bigger wedding, do you delay it? Like, you can have everything, but not all at the same time. And so how can you divide it up into the chunks and in order of prioritisation? And if home is the most important thing to you and it sounds like it is because they've been saving for that.

Other things either have to wait or come down and cost. Yeah. And then it's never good time for children. They're just expensive full stuff. So like that's one of the... It's that financial wellness thing we always talk about. It's like how you feel like how good are you going to feel having this debt?

Yeah. Hang over your head like Lydia said for a number of years. I can't imagine very well because of the way that you're talking. And we read it and we're like, they're financially savvy. This is probably not a good decision. I would say. Alternatively, have a wedding at a house. Buy a hot, a grand hall.

One good thing about weddings these days is there's no rules. Rules. Everything is just acceptable. It's like we're having this type of wedding. We're having that type of wedding. It's not like go to the local hotel or whatever it was and have chicken. And have 150 people. Yeah.

Yeah. It's much more acceptable. to do smaller, different. Yeah. It's much for acceptable, I think, to not invite everyone. Do you remember, like, it would be a big thing, I think, 15 years ago to have had a wedding and not invited your entire friendship group? Or family.

And family. I think people now are a lot accepting of family. Oh, you're just doing something small. And we didn't get invited. It's, okay, have fun. Our wedding, we were like, no distant relatives that we don't speak to on the regular. Like, we were, like, made a decision. Do we want to invite more friends?

or do everyone invite more family? And I'm closer to my family than maybe Neil might be some of his distant relatives. So he was like, well, I'm going to go ham on friends. And that's fine. And their girlfriends weren't invited because it was so tight. It did.

It did. But we were like, we positioned it. Lads were like, lads, loads, loads. Yeah. They're a naughty table. It's like, oh, you're having a lad's weekend. So they were thrilled. And then to my girlfriend, I was like,

rather than a girl's weekend. Yeah, that's not going to pay for everyone's part of that. I don't really know. And don't worry, everyone didn't get together. No, no, there was none of that. Girls, girls, girls, last, last. What happens at the wedding season? There was none of that.

I just remember one of the boys' girlfriends got drunk like a few months after and she was like, I really wish I could have come to your wedding. And I just was like, I shut it down straight away. I was like, oh well, you know, we just, like, numbers were tight, so, and then just like moved it on. You made the list. Like, you don't have to feel guilty.

Like, but I think sometimes parents traditionally can be bad at that. Not ours, but I know that some parents can be like, but, you know, you really should invite your Aunt Mildred because, you know, she's your aunt and it's like well I she's a liability I don't even like her anyway but like when was the last time I spoke to her like

how much she gets really pissed we see her once every Christmas so do I want to invite the person that I see once a year at Christmas or do I want to invite my friend that I see every single week and her mum that I'm best friend with instead that I spend so much time our friends getting married this month

and we're so excited and it's our gym friend and will it have happened by the time this comes out with the Hendo where I've been a she having loads like different things for hens so we're having a go on you can holly's organize it all so i'm not good take the limelike and tell everyone at the weekend we're having a um last rodeo themed gym session party so have like it's just in everyone to come in like cowboy fancy dress like we've got four um neal's really annoying because i missed him off i know he is annoyed that you didn't get him a hat i forgot to get

my hat i'll have to source one but it's going to have some sort of feather bow on or something but i've got it's men and women yeah it's mixed gym class so i've got like blow up like cowboy boots, a big blow-up penis. I thought it was penis when she did that, but then it was like, big cowboys. No, no, the penis is like this big. And then like disco balls, like confetti, like, um, cups that say like her lash rodeo. I've got her a gym vest that says my lash rodeo. She's got a white feather, fried, like protein shakes with Winnie Straws. So I have got, I was going to do electrolytes. That's so good. That's that say her last rodeo with Willie Straw. So it's going to be so much fun. But like,

I'd have a panic attack if I was invited. Imagine someone random shows up to the class It's just gym people So it's not like her friend going What the hell are we going to? But a new person could well turn up that day So I've told the gym instructor to be like If you see someone book on this class

Just let them know That fancy dress is welcome And there will be blow up willies Imagine if you were like I'm going to try out this Sunday morning class But I'm not that person Cock and balls are you walking Cock and boss

If someone did this for me I'd be fuming Yeah Trying a new class You've got to do press-ups with the willy. Honest to God. And then we're going for brunch after us. Yeah.

Putting in smelly gym kit. That's amazing. But that's not an expensive, like, that's our. And that would probably be so much more fun. It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be so much fun. And then it's going to be the wedding, which is small. Yeah.

And we were invited and I'm so privileged that we were. She could have a random cousin that is like, well, I've not been invited. But we see her every day. Yeah. Yeah. She's our friend. Yeah. Not your cousin

I want to be a witness No I'm actually doing a poem She doesn't know it yet And my dress is white No Oh I literally wound her up saying I'm just scrolling off the internet

For a white dress for your wedding In our friendship group And everyone was like Yeah so am I I'm thinking this And she said her sister literally said I found a white dress Do you would you mind

I swear to God Yeah Obviously we were like We shut that down Oh my God Yeah Okay it's nearly the end of the episode

but first I want a little review from Lydia of what this perspective is like she's not fainted yet because she's squished between me and Holly and rolling our robes like a sauna this feels like

you know when people go to like a studio of like the friends set and they sit on the sofa and they're like look at me when they're all sitting the wedding dresses wearing the dressing gown Yeah, yeah.

That'll be the episode in three years' time. Yeah. You don't, you sold your dress. Do you know what you couldn't get yours? Mine's in the attic somewhere. It's probably been eaten by, yeah. Get it out. I'm wearing for Claire's wedding.

Oh my God. I knew we had a white dress somewhere. It's probably been eaten and dye a mouse or something. I tried on my mum's one. Oh my God. Anti-Ruth did, do you remember? Yes, Auntie. We didn't wear its fancy dress.

It was a big puffy one so you could hide in it even like. Oh my God. Yeah. We'll do that next. We'll do that next year. I can't see an 80s look is your vibe for wedding. Princess Diana. It's not given really, is it?

She'd rather be in a dressing gown. Oh my God. Oh my God. Good idea. A white one. Okay, that is all for this episode. The Vault is now closed. And just a quick disclaimer.

The Volt is just a chat around life and many topics. We are not giving financial advice.