The Vault with Financielle - “Do I Still Need My F**k-Off Fund?” | The Vault Episode 94

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

Send us a text“Spending your younger years travelling is shortsighted” - we unpack this week’s controversial opinion, then dive into your dilemmas:💸 ”Should I increase my credit card allowance?”💸 ”Should I still have an F-off fund?”Got a money win or (totally anonymous) dilemma? Share it via the Financielle app community or email [e-mail] 💌You’re not alone in figuring this stuff out. Get honest, helpful reads at financielle.com 💖💸Connect with our Partners*🫶 Get life insurance with our friends at Lifesearch. Speak to a female advisor here.🏡 Meet our Financielle approved Mortgage Brokers.💸 Get cashback that reduces your mortgage interest with Sprive (£5 extra for you using code: FINANC)*The above are tracked links, which tells our partners we sent you and may in future result in a payment or benefit to our site.The Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Welcome to The Vault with Financial Health. This is a safe space where we talk all things, life and money and no topics are off limits. Hey guys. Hello. Good morning. I've got something to my throat because I had mint imperials because there's some... How did you? Are they called minting?

Is that just what my grandma calls them? Like the restaurant mints. Yes. There's some outside and I put three in my mouth at once. Three? Yeah, three. Crunch them all really quickly. So sorry.

But mint imperils, what's your favourite mint? I like, I'm partial to a spearmint polo. A spear mint polo, okay. They think, I imagine giving polos to horses. Yeah. Hey, hey. Oh, hey. I like button.

It's my favorite joke. It's not even funny. I can't even remember it now. I just know the punchline, which is, hey. Well, if I cough, I'm sorry. Because I'm greedy. You still smell nice. Yeah.

Okay, controversial opinion time of the day. spending your younger years traveling is short-sighted speaking to the wrong people i'm not qualified to answer this question so picture young people saving up to go traveling just looking at the here and now like nothing towards the future and not focused on building any habits is focused on traveling and like maybe working to save to travel that's their wantry purpose for that period of their life I feel like there's, we're definitely proponents of travel as you go and we would have hated that the only time we travel be younger. Having said that, I think that when we speak to people, people always say they wish they'd traveled, especially earlier and younger. You know, when you have the big girl job, when you've got the big girl responsibilities and big boy responsibilities, when you have children, when you have a partner, the ability to be free and roam and follow the end of the nose and.

book where you're going to go the next week. That does go. That does go. It really does. It's like, you know, I love it actually when you see meet people in like the 60s and they're starting to travel again because it's like, oh, everyone's full in the nest. And even then it's probably like, oh, I've got to get home. I've got to look after the grandchildren. And you never truly free. And there's a moment in time, I think, where you can travel around uni age before it, after it, where you can work your ass off over the summer or in different jobs. Learn the saving muscle, by the way. learn the work muscle, learn the go without and save, and save, you know, a few grand and go travel, and then you're still young enough to come back and go, right, let's start

this money journey. And you've learned a really good habit, whereas I don't think you get many people at a young age at the age we're talking about. So we're talking late teens, early 20s, where they save for a house. I think they're out, I think they're out spending. I think they're going out, they're getting the nils done, they're going to belates, They're looking amazing but they're not doing either

they're not getting the travel investment and they're not saving up for a home but getting a car on finance they're in the middle looking good is overrated by the way I'm just saying I'm like gorgeous I don't have my nails done

I get my hair done that's all of you don't get my eyebrows done I don't spend money on makeup I don't spend money in this it's overrated who wants to look good but it is I think

it's to the alternative of what you know if i think people would expect me to say that oh yeah no it is overrated like you should travel as you go but that ultimately you should save and you should start investing and you should start buying homes there's time for that if you've got to nail that and and do it earlier the better it's when people don't do either and they're in the middle and they're just kind of living for the gram and they're not really investing in themselves because that's not investing in yourself enriching their lives in any way And, like, I think the earlier traveling thing, you do lose the spontaneity as you get older because of the financial responsibilities that you've got. So you can't just, like, get up and go or travel on a really, like, a super, super, super, super lean budget.

Because if you've got things like a rental property or a house, children, like, you just can't do it. It's just, or it's very, it looks very different to what it could be, I imagine when you're like 18, 19. And, like, you know, when you're in your early to mid-20s, if you'd saved up, like, let's say you'd saved up 10 grand. Are you going to spend that on travel? I think you might not, mid-20s anyway, because you're like, I need a car. You close to big adult, you're close to that, like, it's a house deposit for some people. It is, it's getting close to like, I'm wanting to settle down roots, I've got a job, I've got, you know, whereas if you can save up, you know, five to ten grand between your late teens and your really early 20s, and that's when you can't be spontaneous. It's time to build that back up again.

Yeah, because it's likely that when you come back from traveling that you'd still be at home with your parents. So you've got an opportunity to then start saving again. Do you know, I love race across the world, the program. And that's like romanticizes like the ability to, yeah, the spontaneity of doing that. They're like, they have to budget. Like it's actually really good practice. Like you're given basically.

So say that they start in China, that's where you begin. You get literally dropped off. The price of the plane ticket from the UK to China is the budget that you get for the whole trip and you have to manage that money to get you to the checkpoint which is like the final destination if you like of where you're going to go you have to budget the money and that you see I love it when they pair like a younger child with like their older parents so like last year last year really good one was like co-oeba yeah yeah the young it was a young boy and the mom and the mum had kind of like given her life to like bringing up the kids had never done anything spontaneous

had never like traveled had never been given the responsibility managing managing the money in the home which was really interesting. I got the impression that the dad looked after the money and they had to figure it out together. It was like one of the best programs I get, I get goosebumps thinking about because I just think, oh, I'd love to do that. But I also don't want people to push away the travelling bug till they're like old and poorly and have kind of lived the life. Like we have a travel sinking fund that allows us to travel. Maybe not in a way that's like traveling. Like, oh, I'm not going to go backpacking around Southeast Asia, but I could do it if wanted to with the kids. That's the decision that we could make as a family and do but it's not now on ever as well i don't i don't

people to think like oh you only get to travel in your early teens if you're going to give someone the opportunity or you're more likely to take it and take advantage of it when you're when you're earlier like in your early years but i think people of a certain age and i think this is like maybe 25 up would then see it as a waste of money if it's in their hand like if it's a chunk yeah earlier than that you're like 30's old 40s old You know, I'll get to that. You feel like you've got all the time in the world. But as you're getting closer to that adulting phase,

you know the slog that is saving up 10, 15, 20,000 pounds for, like, getting on the property ladder. And in Britain, we'll love the property ladder. Like, we're just obsessed with it. I imagine if someone said, here you go, do you want to go spend it all and spend like six months traveling, amazing? It wouldn't last me? I know, that's two weeks.

You get more like. Bougier. Yeah. You don't want to sleep in up, like, a resistance. 30-year-old sleep in the hostel in Australia, possibly. Very small minority though. You're going to want to be in a nice Airbnb. You want to go for cocktails. Oh, you're not getting a bus. No. That scares me all the night buses. That's what I mean. When you see it all and they're like, don't go to the toilet. I actually think race across the world puts me off traveling.

Well, it does me a little bit. I love the like relationship, but that plays out, but the let's get a night bus for 24 hours. Oh my God. 30p. I'm like, Take your night bus. Keep your night bus. I'm staying where I am. I'm fine. I do think that, you know, we, like I said, we embrace the travel thing. And I think the Brits are quite good at doing, like, city breaks and take, you know, we should

probably do it more. I think Americans and Australians think we're crazy that we all live in Europe so close to things, but we go to, like, Spain every year. Like a holiday resort rather than go and see places and stuff. But I think the city breaks come back a little bit. And I think we do like these from time. to time and you can fit that into your budget like you can do that experience the world i think so i think so which your favorite city break what you've done probably amsterdam yeah i love amsterdam

yeah such a cozy yeah perfect size city i think to to be able to see what you want to see food yeah not overwhelming no what about paris where did paris go for you oh not even top three no not top not top three oh is that my top is that my top three you love it don't you but for me i'm just like yeah it's nice yeah i don't know it feels like i'm in london yeah yeah i like london as well though to be there so whereas i'm like every time it's yeah literally i'm literally like making friends with people on the tube like why's no holly french old girls like and guys if you're in london just let us know because she needs someone to talk to when she goes because she usually then can't wait to get back because

She's just, like, overwhelmed by how alone she feels. I am overstimulated when I get back on the train. The trains are, apparently are, so that's part of it. Like, you want to get on the train to get out because it's not easy. Like, Europe and trains is next level. It's just seamless. And it's, oh, yeah, I'll go to Leon today. I'll just get the train.

You don't have to overthink it. You're going to get a nice, fairly clean. We're on the phone to Neil, and Neil's like, right, I've looked on the, like, work out what platform we're going on. I think you'll be on 12 because there's a rush. Something's just left to, blah, blah, blah. And in the newsy, everyone's like running, fighting. And I'm just like, I just don't want to compete to get on the train.

Like, I've got a seat. Like, I don't need to be fighting. It's still stressful. It's very stressful. Yeah. It's not for me. Not signing up to race across the world anytime soon. No, I think this is tough.

I romanticise it from my sofa. Listen, for the TV, I think Holly would be a great candidate for Race Across Worlds. I might put a name down. Holly and Neil signed up. Can you imagine me a Neil? No, you're not with Neil because he would do it. I think I need to put you with Teddy. I can imagine me of Neil, because I would follow Neil like a lost puppy.

That's why it's not good TV. I need like, you and Teddy. When we go to London, Neil literally sends me in my notes and he's like, right, Platform 3 to the Northern line. It's red. It's because I am... Turn left. Too busy talking to people.

Trying to have conversation. If you're stuck in consumer debt, listen to this. One financial user said budgeting the financial way helped her clear over £2,500 worth of debt and finally feeling control of her money. If you're ready to do the same, download the financial app and join our community today. Okay, I'm going to move on to our first dilemma. Should I increase my credit card allowance? I'm trying to improve my credit score, and one way I've been doing this is by playing the credit utilization ratio game, where I only use 1 to 5% of my limit and pay it off each month to boost my score. It's been working. I've

improve my score by 70 points by doing this. But here's my thing. I was recently invited to increase my credit limit from £1,000 to £3,750. And now the minimum spend to keep doing this method is getting higher and higher. I'm starting to worry that I'll lose control of my spending just to maximise my score. I've been paying off around £100 a month, but it keeps creeping up. And I physically cringe every time I have to dip into my hard-earned savings to clear the bill. My stipend runs out next year and I need to be saving £500 a month for my emergency fund to support my final PhD year. So now I'm torn. Do I keep chasing a better credit score or focus on saving and stop the game before it gets out of hand?

No. Stop Bridgeton. You don't get invited to a nice person. That's all I could think. Dear listener, what is it? Dear reader, you are cordly invited to, no. This is a credit limit. card. They are, you are, you think you're playing the game. Do you know like when you was, I've disassociate like, do you know the meme where it's like, um, all the algebra like in front of the heads. Julie Roberts. It's just like it's not necessary. Like what are we chasing this improvement

of the credit score for? Like is it that you want to buy a house when you're older? Have you had a really poor credit score in the past because you've like defaulted on payments? Like what is it that you want to do? And we want to help you understand that you don't. necessarily need to improve your credit score. We're honest. This is killing you with kindness because well done for messaging in and we love that you've given us the opportunity to rant about credit scores, which is why you've been included as a dilemma because it's our favourite.

It's like, it's like, oh, we've not had one in a while where they rant. And so everything that we say is absolutely with love because we are that big sister that's like, let us tell you how it is. So your credit score went up 70 points. Like, what did you do? Like, so what? So what? Do you know what? Do you know what that does for you personally? Because we don't. Yeah. And the score will be from a platform that takes credit reporting data and comes up with its own score.

So yes, it probably does align with the algorithms of each particular lender or bank or credit company or finance company's scoring mechanism because it's a little bit of a, minefield, and it is an unknown, but people tend to know that these five or ten things tend to mean that a rating or your credit worthiness goes up, not your score, your score is pretend, it's literally pretend. Gameification. Companies like clear score and others others as well, but they're just, they, I believe, are not helpful because they are trying to get you obsessed over a score, and I tell you all, and I screenshot the only thing that's wrong with my credit score is I,

I should have another credit card. And guess who gets a commission if I take a credit card? The company, the platform. So there's lots of them that do it. I tell you what I'm really annoyed actually with at the moment. Experian. Experian are one of the credit reference agencies.

So they sit on the underlying data. And they do a thing. So they do have premium and you can pay monthly to get a more detailed report, which you should never have to do. Just don't bother doing it. You really, really don't need to do it.

I think that it's, you know, they give you like extra advanced warnings or something. What do you need? But listen to this. So they, they sent me an email because I time up to them to keep an eye on it for this just for content, not because I give a shit about the score. You get an email going, your score's changed. Okay. So then you log in online and it blurs out your score and it says to see the score, you have to download the app. I'm like, no, no, I want my report.

You've told me I've got a report. I've got an online account. I don't want the app. And it also says it gives like this hint that something's wrong. and there's something you need to fix, but it won't tell you what you need to fix unless you pay for premium. That is so bad.

So I think that's super misleading. It's something that's on my list to rant about at some point. I'm not happy about it. It's something I might even speak to the, well, I can't say, but I'm not happy with it. But it made me think, oh, what's wrong? But it wouldn't show me unless I paid for premium. And that is not fucking on.

I'm not happy with that because it's meant to be a point of transparency and scoring and, you know, credit reporting, and they're playing the game that those are playing. So, yeah, that's a rant for a different day. But you do not sound like you're in a great financial position. You sound very organised because you're at a point in your life where you're PhD in. And I just have hats off to anyone doing PhD because it's such a tough time. You've got the stipend, which is a little bit like salary.

You're not getting lots of benefits. I'm confident you're probably not getting stuff into a pension. It's a really tough time, but you're going to come out with it with a PhD. and it sounds like you've got one year left. And so I don't know why you're messing with the score because you have a more important thing, as you quite rightly pointed out, you need to save.

And you're moving money from savings to pay off your credit card. And that shouldn't be a thing because you should be only using, when people use the credit card and play with utilisation, like they should be spending what they're spending anyway. But it doesn't always happen.

And that's what gets us into a negative spiral of spending money that we don't have. And so when, you know, I can log into any one of my, two to three banking gaps. Apart from one, there's one that won't. I don't see you Starling

sending me loads of loan offers actually. No, I don't have a quick look. Inundated. But others do. Barkers do. Nat West do. Halifax.

Monzo do. So it's the pop-up is fancy a loan. Want a credit card? And I'm like, you don't know me at all. No, you don't know yet. If you knew anything about me,

you would know this. We have been in a relationship for over 20 years. And you haven't got a bloody clue. You don't care about me. about me. You don't know when I'm down. You don't know when I'm vulnerable. You don't know what I need on this relationship. But what they do know is they're desperate to make money off you. It's like when a credit card company offers to increase the limit and you're not even using

it, what, you know, you are in a position where. What benefit is that to you as an individual? It's not. It's just, it's a temptation. It's go, go, go. And so the cleaner way to manage our money is to take distraction and temptation out the way. That's why I think in funds are pots are in a separate account, it's because we may be tempted to dip into them. It's why we don't use credit cards unnecessarily because the temptation and that they're not daft, these companies are much more sophisticated than our brains because they've got millions and millions and billions of pounds targeted towards getting us to spend and part with our money and to build up debt because they make money off the back of it. Always think what's in it for them. If it comes to credit

scores, we've got loads of really good articles actually. We look at farnshel.com. Credit scores are bullshit. Just Google that. Hopefully we're at the top of you Google. better be yeah credit scores are bullshit we do give you tangible things that you can do to be more credit worthy because i absolutely appreciate that most of us may want to get a mortgage someday what i found is if you save spend less than you make make payments on time don't move around unnecessarily and mess up your addresses don't be connected to someone financially who isn't a great place financially they're gonna lend you the electoral roll they're gonna lend you money they really want to lend you money because they make a lot of money

lending money to you. I've told this, said this before, look at a mortgage payment and see how much goes to capital and how much goes to interest. Banks and lenders want to lend to you. And so we mess around with this game, but honestly, it's a distraction and it's kind of like, it's not a red flag. It's a red herring. It's not a red flag.

It's not a flag. It's a herring. So over there it's like, it's smoke and mirrors. I think you're doing amazing. I think head down. Get those savings. Stop using the card. Stop it. Just don't bother about the card. Cut it up. clear it, forget about it. Don't look at your score. Because it sounds to me like you're not anywhere close to buying a house right now anyway because you're in PhD land. You're struggling to

save for making sure that you're okay for the next year. Don't worry about. Just kick it down the can. Surely you're busy. Like when you said about the utilisation stuff and then you're doing a PhD, PhD, focus your efforts on the PhD, not on the utilisation. And if you want a number net worth. Yeah. If you need that, yeah. That's a good idea. Your financial score. Your net worth score is your financial score. Because if your net worth isn't increasing, you're more likely to be a great candidate to be lent to, to buy a house. Literally.

Yeah. Literally. Please start with the credit scores like, oh my God, you'll feel so much freedom when you watch this episode and you go, oh, I feel like hoodwinked like I need to. And I'm not having a platform making me feel stupid because the score went down.

Gameficion. And charging you for it. Piss off. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Okay, this week's community win is a long one. so get your cups of teas ready. I've been a silent listener for a few years,

but I wanted to share my money when because I'm so proud of myself. Four years ago, I was out with my mum, relying on my credit card to pay for the day. Then I got an email saying my limit had been lowered with immediate effect, a true blessing in disguise, though at the time I broke into a cold sweat. I couldn't pay for the rest of the day and felt too ashamed to admit to my mum how much I was struggling,

especially since my parents have always been so financially responsible. from that moment on I completely cut back no nights out no treats no extras I picked up overtime and went into full survival mode it took me about a year to pay off my credit card and other consumer debt around 5k it wasn't a huge amount but it made me feel physically sick once I cleared it I started saving and built a small emergency fund I swore I'd never turned to debt again shortly after that I met my now partner we bought our dream home and moved in last December we decided to come bind our finances and every payday he asks me can you do the money thing which means updating our budget i log our incomes make sure we're getting money into our big emergency fund mortgage overpayments sinking fund bills and fund money then what's left goes into our personal accounts our idea of fund money is very different i'm reflecting on this today because i've got the back-to-work blues after an incredible 12-day trip to new england we visited four states paid for the holiday and spending

money in full from our holiday sinking fund and it felt amazing to travel completely stress-free. Now, just weeks out from Christmas, our sinking fund is almost full. We've also been slowly renovating our dream home using our home improvement fund. I'm so grateful for everything your podcast has taught me. It's changed both my mindset and my boyfriends. I'm excited for what's next for us and I think we'll be ready to start investing within the next year, even if I'm a little nervous. I tell all my friends about your podcast and hope it gives them the same insight and comfort it's given me. A truly grateful, fully converted, financial girlie. Woo! Oh my God. A lot of goosebumps again. Because that person was in the shit. Yeah.

They were. It just makes you go, it's life-changing. Anyone can do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's always someone, you know, been in a worst position and done it and worked harder and done it. I love all of the people that have had these amazing wins. But, like, Like, this is going to sound with that. You're not special. Like, as in, you are special, but you're not special because it gives people, it makes it accessible. Like, that person was out on a day out with the moment and couldn't afford to buy the coffee.

Oh my God. I'm holding my breath. Like, we've all, and I've been there. I've been there at Stainsbury's checkout. I've been, I've been Tesco, Sainsbury's and gone. Oh, not, I'm poor and I can't actually afford this. I'm so shit with my money. Yeah. It's in the wrong place.

I've spent too much this month. I've like, I put things on credit cards. has, it's going to get declined and it has. I've been there and gone, fuck shit. Oh my God. That person was in the same boat and look, look what they've managed to do. It's incredible. Is it boyfriend or husband was like, do the money thing?

Do it like, talk dirty to me. Do that thing you do. Do that thing you do. They're really like, you know, the money thing. I love doing the money thing. But like, just imagine. that in the future like the mum the mum date will happen again it's like it's on me literally not my credit card it's on me i will pay for this date and those those trips that are paid for

you know like i always find they come at such a good time for people it tends to be like six to eight to nine months after the money journey starts when they get it they understand why they've cut back they've felt the benefit of it your reward that is your reward for all that And no one does it. And so I remember that feeling where you're sitting on a sun lounger and you're thinking, who will be paying this off all year round? Yeah. Like, really.

Because there's some moments where we've all been there on holiday where the cocktail is extra expensive or it's a particular restaurant and you're all like at the cab's expensive. And you're like, it's a bit of a sting. Or you get your bill at the end of the holiday because you put everything on the room. I get it wrong all the time. We play a game which is like, yes, the bill because obviously we're like, we don't go. It's not all inclusive. we've got in the same resort every year. And, you know, between cocktails or beers, lunch food.

Like, it's like the mini bar scare, like, for years. Oh, my kids just go up now and order in Spanish. Like, can I have nachos? I have no idea what they're having. And it's expensive. And the nachos are like six euros, like, for a little box. Tiny. It's like, oh, it's so cute.

Look, I'm going off ordering it in Spanish. Now you're like, get away. What did he say? Natchos. Yeah. I don't even know what. Natchos. Then they tell the room number in Spanish. I'm like, oh, so cute. And then they're like, shit, they spent like 100 euros on nachos. As if you haven't thought to tell them my room

number instead. I know, yeah. Tell a nanny. Neil's always like, learn nanny's room number. That's a good hat. But we've all been there where it's a bit of a stingy and tail. Honestly, even now, I do get the, oh, what is it? Like, there's enough money in there. What could it be? I don't know. I don't know how much milk and bread is like, you have to, I have to, I have to, to take 20 pounds to the shop just in case to make sure I've got enough money. So I can't comprehend what a family of five over a nine, 10 day holiday on a non-all-inclusive basis will spend. I don't know. But it could be very, I'm not bragging, honestly. I'm just saying it could be very high and it'll be fine because I've got the money for it. It's not a credit

card that I'm going to have to spend. Whereas most of the people, because of the way that the world budget, it's not because anyone's bad or doing it wrong. It's just they're paying after. We worry about it later. But we are, you know, I love getting to that point. Oh my God. Everyone knows what my husband's like because I share it every holiday but every podcast sorry, not every holiday but we've got the next one booked

already because he was on it and we want the free to child places and needs something to look forward to and the deposits paid with cash from the sinking fund that's this year's sinking fund money but it's like it's already sorted and what she was able to do

and travel around New England and go costs is oh my God it's not cheap I mean the food's so expensive out there and travel. The US is very expensive at the moment. So the fact that they've managed to do that, pay for it all in advance, pay for the spends. It's not derailed anything.

Like she's, when you're really in your journey, there's so much that you're trying to do that trips, they can slow you down, but they don't have to derail. It's when they imagine all that hard work and then you're like, should go shopping and then she'll put it on a card. And that's why you put a strategy in place, which is like, we'll pay for it, we'll pay cash. We've got spends. We're sorted and we have the best time. We've seen the opposite of this, haven't we, with that there was an influence that was talking about trying to get out. out of debt or something and she was like, so I'm going to Dubai. Yes.

We were all like, what? Like listed out all the debts. So when in debt was then like going and then I've got to pay for Dubai. Yeah. Well like, no, they booked Dubai after. Yeah, like really recently. So I'm going to go on a debt free journey. Sorry, I'm knocking the mic because I'm very passionate about this.

I'm going to go on a debt free journey and blah, blah, blah. But I've got, I'm going to use Klarna for this and then I've got, but I've booked to Dubai so I need to pay for that. And it was like they'd made the Dubai decision after doing the, I was. be a debt-free decision. So you kind of like... That is the snakes and ladders. It's like, I'm going to pay off McCarnet and then I'm going to go to Dubai.

Literally. And I've not got the money for Dubai. That's the perfect example, isn't it? Can be snakes and ladders, whereas this person has literally gone, this is what I'm going to do. This is how I'm going to do it. And like, absolutely smash that. What a wonderful community win.

If you'd like to tell us you'll win, head to the community in the app or email it to the vault atfinancial.com. Okay, time for our next dilemma. Did you know that over a third of women in the UK have no protection in place, compared to just 16% of men. We've partnered with Life Search so you can chat to an advisor for free and get the cover that you deserve.

Head tofinichelle.com for slash protection to get your free quote today. Should I still have an F off fund? High Financial. My dilemma is around what I've heard reference to as fuck off funds. This feels so hoarse to say. That's weird. Sorry, Mom.

Sorry, Mom. Where women have a secret savings account set aside to protect themselves should they face a relationship breakdown. I inherited around 10k a few years ago when I was single and put this aside to become a fund for me in the future. Fast forward to now and I've been happily married for nearly three years. I'm feeling more uncomfortable about having this money that my husband doesn't know about. Do you girls recommend, remacement, do you girls recommend having a fund like this or should I incorporate it into my emergency fund? For context, my husband and I have a joint account where most of our income goes for household bills and outgoings and joint savings

for holidays and house renovations. We keep the rest aside for our own sinking funds and have separate emergency funds. I currently have around six months of expenses in my emergency fund but would like to build it up for 12. What do you think? Never had this one. I don't think we have when someone's like, I'm a really good place, but should I tell him? Yeah, it's like should I tell him but then also like should I keep it as a fuck-off fund or should it be like a joint to the emergency fund? And she shared no red flags and no concerns. It sounds happily married.

Yeah, which is not, still doesn't mean that someone couldn't blindside you and stuff about having it. And I love how she also said they both have them. So they both have emergency funds. And she thinks she should build them up. In a weird way, it's just a hard one because it's this financial infidelity point

which is lighter when it's because I've got something rather than I've got all this debt. But she didn't build it in secret. It was given to her as an inheritance. That changes the game as well, doesn't it? It's not like she's been scrued away in a relationship going, I need to put up on the comments. Some people get angry with us on the comments because they're like,

stop telling people to build them. Everything's going to go wrong. And like, that is financial infidelity. You shouldn't have to have that when you're married. And I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Yeah, every scenario is different and you just don't understand. But it's like a financial gift. And it's a hard one.

And it's, one thing for me is, I don't know your situation. So I don't know what job you've got, how high risk it is, what your expenses are going, whether your partner's job is like high risk or whatever. But six months seems like a really good amount of an emergency fund. Why do you want more? Why do you want more? Why are we going to 12 months? Because we know that when we have an emergency fund, we would generally have it in an easy access account.

You're not going to be getting high interest rates on those because the benefit is that you're able to withdraw your money at any time. If you're going to, you've got 10 grand sat somewhere. Hopefully that's making money, by the way. Yeah. And then you're going to have another, you're going to save another six months of expenses and have that sat in an easy access account. I'm worried that you've got 10 grand, potentially another 10 grand. You're quite cash heavy, you mean like she shouldn't be getting to work harder.

I think that's fair. And I think the, the emergency fund point is important for everyone, picking the right amount that's right for you. And some people are six because they're comfortable with it. And they've got, like, they're quite employable. So whether it's a solid job or whether it's a job that's a career

that could go elsewhere in also helps when your expenses are fairly low so it depends on your expenses what your fixed expenses and can you go lean if you want to that's a really powerful thing to be able to do like if your budget

can get to a place where it's a boogey budget but if we want to pull back it's not that I've got loads of fixed costs that I'm committed to. Ours can be solely and that's how we came up with one and do you know what car finance is another example

of why it's really difficult to not have a huge emergency fund when you've got a finance car. Literally. You've literally, 300 pounds minimum, I would say, like a finance car

is at the moment, a reasonable one. Yeah, sometimes families have two. So like, to be able to cut back, so the ability to cut back. And then the other thing

is income protection insurance and our critical illness cover. Because that's the way that we've seen couples and individuals be able to reduce the emergency fund they need. Because what you're trying to do

is you're trying to calculate, do I, what would I need if something happened and a big emergency is often illness or injury, mental health issues. And so that's, that's a way that you can maintain an emergency fund at an effective level

and you can go to financial dot com for slash protection and look at you can get a free insurance review that's what a lot of people do during our partner life search you get females on another phone that will walk it through with you and assess that with you so there's a few things that keep that in a manageable amount but some people do just like 12 months but at some point that will stop as well so even if she saves it the next six months it's going to stop it's just such an interesting question because

if you, so you're married, right? If you divorced, you legally have to tell him about that money. You fill out a form, a financial assessment form where you have to, because you wouldn't want him to have 20 saved up and not tell you either. So in terms of like, if it all went wrong, Pete Tong and you had to divide up your assets, you have to share that with him anyway legally. And so there is this little bit of element of, you know, it's shared in a, asset sense, even though you've got it. There's always different rules in it comes to

inheritance and different situations, but that's generally. So I would wonder, if you both have lovely, strong emergency funds, what is it for? Because if you separated, it would come into discussion, it would be up for debate. So if you're looking for tips on how to share it with him, I think that's probably something we could think about, like, how would we tell our partners, oh, we've forgotten about it. It may be that if you come to a Monday date night and you, and you, you might have a strategic conversation about, right, let's have you think about how much we want in emergency funds, how much, do we want to be overpaying our mortgage? Do we want to, you know, what's the kid's situation? Do what are our goals? Do we want to start over investing into our

pension? Because you can say, right, let's, or have you done your net worth together and have you done it in the app? Because when you're listing things out of that. Is she leaving 10K out of it? Or is she not doing it and she could go. Oh, actually, I've got 10. I always forget about, it's a lie. I'm so sorry. Oh my God. Do you say I've got 10 that I... So let's not do the white lie. I got 10 given to me out through inheritance. So we'll put that into the net worth.

Yeah. It still is in your account. When? Just slip it in. Four years ago. Slide it in. Where's it been? Goffin.

There's that 10. If it was the way around, we'd be like, that is financial and fidelity. That is a red flag. In fact, we could blame him and go when he says, what's that? I told you. I told you about that. Yeah. God's sake.

You never listened to me How would I feel if Neil came For all the guys listen to this You can tell us to do one I'd be more be like Why are you being so secretive about it Like why he's whispering Yeah

Why are you whispering right now We would be This would be different If it was like We're allowed this Listen I'm going to be I'm going to really think about that

if a girl wrote into us and said, my partner, girl or guy, but if it was just the other person in a relationship and they said, I found out they've got an extra 10, we'd probably tell them to kind of chill a little bit. And I think we'd say, are there any other red flags? Yeah. Like, you know, what are you a spender? Is he keeping it because he thinks you're going to literally go and redecorate the house?

because you've got a fishing of the 10 grand. Like, we would dig under that and go, because otherwise... Inheritance is always a difficult one, isn't it? Yeah. It makes it easier. It's not like they've scribbled it away when you were meant to be saving for something.

It was like, no, no, that was given to that person. They didn't ask for it. It was kind of like gifted to them. And I believe inheritance is so sensitive. And it should be for... It should be for the individual who's the recipient of it to decide what it's ultimately. for. And that's why there are special provisions sometimes in law and a divorce proceedings

when it comes to inheritance. Sometimes it is protected. Sometimes it's not. And that's what, you know, that's why it's really important to get the right advice around that because there are different, like, timing's a big thing. And so I like the idea that the person who's received it, it's not a fair game. Like it's not like, oh, put it the part. Like, just genuinely be honest about it. It'd be like, I've had this and I've just not known what to do with it. Like, it's been inheritance. Like, I don't, obviously don't say anything about a fuck-off fund. No.

That doesn't need to be in the conversation, but just be honest and be like, I don't know what this is for. Like, I don't know whether to put some in my emergency fund. Yeah. I don't know whether to invest it. Invest it. This is the thing as well. I think at the moment it's a bit in no man's land.

So what it's not got is a, so if it's not a job. Is it a fuck-off fund, right? Because if it is, I like the idea that both people in a relationship have a transparent fuck-off fund in their own names that we both know we've both. got and so if that's a 12 month one each if that's whatever whatever that amount is I love the idea in a safe and secure relationship that the week you absolutely have it and I also like the idea of if you're in a new relationship but it's a bit more private or if you're not quite sure where you're at of having one that it's just no one's business yeah and ultimately in

divorce it would be on the table for discussion but I think I'm all right with that what I would actually prefer though is this inheritance pot needs to be renamed because you're not in the the fuck-off fund can be centralised and it can be visible to everyone. I love the idea that you actually frame it as like, I need to think about what to do with this. Like I'm thinking about maybe investing it or am I putting it in a cash ice. Just be like, I've been putting it off because I just don't know what to do with it. Which is the truth.

You actually don't know what to do with it. It's always got an emotional. It should be understanding. It's always got an emotional attachment to it as an inheritance. People overthink inheritance. Yeah. But actually just work through the playbook. That takes the emotion away.

Is that okay, where I'm up to in the playbook? tick I've done my big emergency fund tick right what do I do next I've got this excess cash we would say hit big money goals if you've hit those going to grow take the emotion out of it yeah and it can still be invested in your name yeah it can still be in your portfolio it doesn't need to be a shared asset in terms of split it across accounts and and I think that you know I feel like both my husband and I would do that it would form part of part of our collective net worth yeah but if he was to come into inheritance today or if I was it's just too emotional to put into a central part.

It just is. So just keep it in your name, but make sure it's doing what you need it to do. And it either should go in your emergency fund. I just think it's better to keep it out of that. Both build up the emergency funds that you both want. Yeah. And invest it.

But I'd love to know what the people think, actually. Yeah, this is so interesting. Because we can revisit this on a later pod. Like if other people have different experiences, they've been through that. We've not. We're all talking hypothetical. Then we'll definitely get it to our listener.

and see if she can make the right decision. I've not had that one before. No, it's an interesting one. We're double standarded, aren't we? Is it called hypocrites? We're allowed. That's fine. We would have a hard time.

Like, we're giving you a bit lenient to hear. Okay, that is all for this episode. The Vault is now closed. And just a quick disclaimer, The Vault is just a chat around life and money topics. We're not giving financial advice.