The Vault with Financielle - How To Avoid Arguing About Money | The Vault Episode 21

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Send us a textWelcome to The Vault with Financielle.In Episode 21 of The Vault, we discuss whether or not women will ever be treated equally in sports ⚽️💸, before diving into our listener dilemmas:My partner wants to take out car financeWe’re stuck in £44k debtWe also celebrate a Financielle community member shutting down ALL her credit cards! ✂️💳🎉 If you’d like to share your money win, head to the community in the Financielle app or email [e-mail] your (totally anonymous) money dilemmas to [e-mail] and we may feature yours on a future episode 💌-Visit https://www.financielle.co.uk to join our community!Chapters:00:00:00 - Poker Skills and Office Conversations00:04:20 - The Disappointment of Women in Sports00:08:13 - Cheerleaders and Financial Strain00:12:20 - Compromising Financial Goals in a Relationship00:16:24 - Budget Compromises and Credit Cards00:20:45 - Dealing with Overwhelming Debt and Financial Circumstances00:25:06 - Taking Control of Life and Financial Decisions00:28:52 - Taking Control of Your Finances00:32:26 - Navigating Parenthood and Finding Joy00:36:17 - No Financial Advice ProvidedThe Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

It's just such good training for life. You don't want to be resentful about someone's financial decision in a couple. There's only two of you, there's nowhere else to blame. Like, yeah, it's your fault. It's always your fault though. Never mind. Never mind. Welcome to The Vault with Financial.

This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. I feel like we live up to that statement. Nothing is off limits. We did, when I was on my way here, my husband was like, good luck. I was like, live up to that statement. Nothing is off limits. We did. When I was on my way here, my husband was like, good luck. I was like, why don't we just go and talk? This is at work. This pod is a really good example of what we get up to every day at work.

There's no special topics. There's a little bit of pre-organisation from Lucy and the team, no doubt. But it's genuinely unscripted and it is like you're working in an office with us. Sometimes I wish we did have microphones in the office. To capture the good bits. Some of the conversations we've had, I've been like, this is content. This is gold. We definitely should.

We need to wear little mics. Yeah, but then you can feel like people come to our office and work with us even if they're not there. Okay, I've got a controversial opinion opinion it's quite a topical one you might get a bit riled up by this one so women will never be equal in sports well this is apt and it depends when you're watching this back but it is we are in the midst of the euros at the moment and there's been a lot of stuff going around because england aren't performing particularly well we're still progressing through but i saw some great um memes that were like oh aren't the male lionesses not doing very well this year and i enjoyed them immensely and that was on

the back of as well the same day we saw the news that the Manchester United team are effectively the men's first team are effectively booting out the women out of the women's brand new brand new state-of-the-art specifically built and funded for the women's team um training complex and the women have to go in basically port-a-cabins and port-a-loos and port-a-loos for the foreseeable whilst the men's Carrington ground gets regenerated. And it's just taking the absolute piss, to be honest. It's actually angered loads of men as well. Everyone's just like, hang on a minute.

Aren't we getting better at this? They did what? After dining out on the PR last year of being the first female built, like built for female team, professional training ground, 50 million, blah, blah, blah. Sorry, can you leave? Can you pack your bags and go to the temporary housing

for the next year, the temporary units? It's like when you went to school and the temporary classrooms, well, they never went. They're still there and then I saw as well an article Leah Williamson who's the England captain she was saying that basically she's still um keeping her accountancy degree on the side because she won't have enough to retire because her England captain yeah the England lionesses captain I think her annual salary is around 200,000, I think.

And she's like, that's basically not enough to retire on. I don't doubt that she gets more out of brand sponsorships and things because I do see her PR team are working hard and rightly so. But if you compare it to the Harry Kane's... I think Harry Kane is on £400,000 a week. Oh my God. £400,000 a week and she's on £200,000 a year. So no.

And they won. Exactly. The male lionesses are not winning and the female lionesses are. Yeah. So I think it's very topical. I've just given three examples whereby I just thought we've cut,

I thought as a society we'd come such a long way, but I feel like the stats and evidence are telling us not. And I've also, before we came in here again just seen something

about Burnley women's as well FC not being the pay gender pay gap is apparently atrocious and the lady that was writing about it

her daughter's in the academy at the football club yes so not like because obviously there's a gender there's a pay gap

between the players I think in the football club as well come on Burnley do better yeah someone's daughter is in the academy there and she was like, I'm just so disappointed.

I thought we'd kind of moved on. I thought we'd progressed and I thought we'd progressed as well. And I think outwardly from PR perspective, the country likes to, you know, pat women on the head and shout about the success of women's football. And it's coming into its own

and we've got some friends that are in that sector. But the money's just not following and that's what that's what's important for women to have a strong financial future and we're not really setting the best example are we definitely not another thing that kind of sparked the thought for me is I don't know if you've seen the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders DCC DCC yes I have is a high kick, you'd have to take me to the hospital. It's like hamstring issues. Give it injuries. Yeah.

So one of the like alumni, I'm going to say, came out on the programme on Netflix and said that she was basically on the wage of like a Chick-fil-A worker working part-time. And the, is it the a CEO is she the CEO she's the owner's daughter but she's a co-owner and she's a chief brand officer so she's basically saying that it's the girls should just be grateful for the opportunity it's about making friends it's a privilege they're really lucky there's not many opportunities to join such a strong brand.

Oh my God. I mean, it's really interesting. I've liked how in the documentary, and it is worth a watch, especially if it's got a little bit of like

X Factor in it where like they're all getting picked and it's auditions and stuff and they have done what's and all. Like I think sometimes you can be,

these clubs can be accused of hiding things or being positioned in a certain way, but I have like they do talk about the pay what I hadn't realized for a while like when you see them training because these are athletes like I was in the gym the next day after it doing some cardio and I was like how did they do these high kicks and high kicks and high kicks and high kicks and do it again and do it again and they're so fit they've done a full day of work they They train in the evening, but because they're under these big floodlights, I just kept thinking it was day. And they train from like six,

five, 6pm to like gone midnight. After doing a full shift as a nurse or, you know, someone in sales or someone who's a teacher, what on earth? Because they have to travel with the team they have to play they have to travel sometimes they have to train they have to do the matches they do appearances as well they are part of the brand though

like they are a valuable asset so for me they're a valuable commercial asset that should be paid in the same way didn't you say that the mascot gets paid

ridiculous $100,000 a year apparently just to be the mascot wearing a fucking hat no one even knows who he is who what do you tell me what it is like they could share it out between anyone no one would have any idea but the chileaders not only are they synonymous with dallas carboys like everyone knows about the chileaders that's why they're so special and people go to see them and the spectacle as well as the football players um but the guy that owns the Dallas Cowboys is worth I think 14 billion 14 billion if I've got that wrong it's still a

billion there was a billion in there because I think his daughter alone is worth 100 million you know and he's set to inherit like the rest of it are you kidding me that even if you paid them all $100,000 which by the way is not a lot of money in America after taxes and stuff and with all

the time health insurance yeah not for if you commensurate with what the men are earning and again

yes it is the football game so I appreciate the football players are going to earn more but we're talking $20,000 those cheerleaders I would love to know

if they get caught in the documentary. Bet they don't. Do you know what I mean? Definitely not. It's worth a watch, but I would just be really interested to see what people think about it

because when you really watch it and, you know, some of the guys listen to this, I want you to watch it because if you've not watched it, you think it's just a documentary about cheerleaders. They are athletes.

When you see what they can do and how hard they have to train to get it absolutely perfect it's just like the guys training for the games it's just the same and um and also it's just amazing seeing you thunderstruck it is really good i keep seeing people on tiktok that's next week's pod because i'm not on tikt TikTok what was their reaction to like what's the what's been the reaction everyone's just kind of

hating on the on the female yeah yeah oh that's true but she was the one

that said yes you know it's a privilege but yeah there's a whole suite of men and women senior at

the Dolls Cowboys that could do better. Yeah, people are just calling out and going, are you kidding me? They should be lucky. And it's really interesting because a lot of the alumni, like from the 70s and 80s and the 90s going, oh, you know, we're part of the sisterhood and we're all so lucky. And everyone was just made to feel so lucky. And I really get this vibe now that especially younger generations are going, no, that's not enough.

Like, so what? Like, great. But I'm also, I'm working and generating revenue and commercial benefit for the organisation. So people are saying that and then lots of people

are doing high kicks. It's a good balance. It's a good balance. I would recommend watching it. I would. I don't think that was very controversial. and you thought we were going to be opinionated time for our first dilemma my partner wants to take out car finance hi ladies I could really use some advice

my partner has his heart set on taking up finance for an expensive new car. While I understand his want for a new car, as it's what he's interested in, I'm worried about how this will impact our monthly budget. We're currently on a mission to pay down our mortgage as quickly as possible, and adding a hefty car payment would majorly slow down our progress. I've tried discussing it with him many times, but he seems very focused on getting this car and doesn't fully appreciate the financial strain it could cause. His argument is that life is too short and that we deserve to enjoy our money that we work hard for. I don't want to come off as unsupportive or start a conflict, but I also don't want to jeopardise our goals. How can I communicate

the importance of prioritising our mortgage without causing tension? What should we do to find balance? P.S. Our journey to paying down our mortgage has seemed like a long one and I do worry that we could be putting too much pressure on it. That was going to be the first thing I picked up on, which was to stop doing, I'm Antical Finance, so I'm going to go there, but to stop doing anything and everything because you're focusing on paying down a mortgage is a long slog. That feels like a long, miserable journey. Like the best evidence I've seen when people are paying off a mortgage is when the, you know, I'm thinking about Sarah and her wonderful blog that's in the app at the moment,

and she's going to New York with her mum. she is hammering that mortgage, but she could overpay the mortgage and not go to New York, but she's going to New York. And so there's an element of unless it's within touching distance, which it doesn't sound like it is, we have to live a little. And if he likes cars and would like a new car, can there be a way that it's incorporated but you save up and pay cash for it and you upgrade your current one save up the difference sell your current one and buy a new one I definitely think that car finance is not the answer like they don't you know and he

will absolutely get a bougie one because we all do because the monthly payment it's not the you don't look at the full value but if he's ready for a new car that's in the foreseeable future I would look at can you like split your mortgage over payments and build up a savings pot or pause them and lean into that for him because you kind of get that balance yeah there's got to be some compromise I don't agree when so many people say oh life for living like and if we said that about everything, we probably wouldn't all be living with a stable roof over our heads and jobs and all the fun adult stuff that we have to think about,

like responsibilities. But we're not about being frugal here. So you absolutely can live life as in buy things you want to buy and have passions that cost money. But yeah, it sounds like he wants a bougie car, which is why he's getting it on finance, because otherwise you could do a quick stop, like we're going to save hard for a few months and then buy a car,

or even a couple of years. But my question to him would just be, the car that you're going to choose, would you pay outright for it in cash, knowing that your ultimate goal between you is to pay off the mortgage? I'm assuming it would be over £30,000 grand because that's what cars are at the moment. Otherwise, like we say, you could save up for it in cash. That does push that dream of paying off, being mortgage-free further away. It's quite a hefty bit of cash.

Here's one for you. How do you address in a couple when you want something quite expensive and there's either an agreed goal or maybe it's hers and she's decided it's the couple's goal like so we're paying our farm mortgage he's like okay but how would you you know let's make it not a car but let's make it a holiday that you want to go on with your friends or is it some new boobs or is it you know a powerpoint presentation, I would get Canva open. I would download the prettiest presentation template.

Snacks, drinks. Are you comfortable, Sarah? And then you basically, the aim of the thing is to make it seem like it's their idea. Do you remember that day when you said we should live life a bit more? I fully agree with you. And I'm going to help make your dreams come true. I am honestly a car salesman. I could sell anything. Yeah.

Gaslight. But like, to be fair, like he, he's obviously not pitched it to her. Like he's just

not done a presentation. That's where he's gone wrong. Don't put the effort in. I mean, I like what you said about being like being mortgage free should be the like a goal for for when it's in reaching distance. Yeah.

But if you've got 10, 20 years left. Yeah. You can't stop living. You can't stop living. And living doesn't mean buying an expensive car as well. So he probably needs to think about what would benefit us both maybe. The car might benefit them both. It sounds like she's not on board.

So it is. Budgeting as a couple is all about compromise she should counter him and go no come back with another idea yeah like go rethink it do you like mark the work well done well actually good effort on that she could model it and say okay if you get the car that means that we have this x amount less each month so that means you're i I'm going to be really presumptuous here. Your season ticket is going to have to go next year because that monthly payment is the same as your Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool season ticket.

God, it's going to all three. No wonder there's nobody. I'm like giving him an option. I don't know who he supports. And it could be like that lad's holiday that you wanted to go on probably can't go on that this year that gold trip that you want to go on ain't gonna happen honey like there's got to be some sort of compromise you have to financially model stuff that's Laura's thing that she always taught me like if you've got an idea

that you want to like run with just take a pause and do a little financial model and then present it back to your team i.e your partner your friends your family whatever and talk through it together rather than i would like paper that's it doesn't need to be a whizzy thing but we don't always think through the financial impact of it because sometimes it's not that big an impact and we go oh i don't worry about so much stuff that and laura goes holly that's literally a 10 pound decision and i'm like oh yeah i was like you just cost us 10 pound decision. And I'm like, oh yeah. I was like, you just cost us 10 pounds talking about it. So sometimes it doesn't have to be like that big of a decision.

Yeah, that's very true. Just a quick one, Laura here. If you're wanting to take back control of your money, ditch debt, make better decisions

and build wealth for the future, the Financial app is for you. With Financial, you can track your spending on the go, hit your money goals faster and create a realistic budget that you can actually stick to. Not to mention, you'll be part of an exclusive money community who share tips, offer support

and celebrate your successes along the way. Click the link in the description to download Financial and start your free trial now this is your sign to take control of your money today okay i'm done let's go back to the vault i wonder how if they're on a mission now to pay down their mortgage i wonder how many like extra years that gives them because if it is like two three years the other thing though is if they both want to pay down their mortgage they clearly love the idea of not having payments so adding a car finance payment is so contradictory and so yeah I definitely I think he should have a car if he wants a car and if that's what's special to him I think it should be incorporated into the budget even if it means

for a period of time anything that she likes is second and that's that because you can't do loads of stuff at once you can't save for both of your car you can't you but see if you can keep I mean the interest rates the moment the mortgage it's really nice to overpay your mortgage it's not nice it's just more like it feels good that at least you're helping crack on with that and so see if you can do both and like I said do three options what does our budget look like if we save up for a car and um don't overpay the mortgage what happens if we scrap the car a day you crack on with one you've got and that's it and we overpay the mortgage and what's half and half

and again I think you said this budget therapy like couple therapy is making these decisions together it's like really good training wheels for the rest of our lives it's you know

having to even at work like come from come to a compromise when you're coming at it from two different angles we're all different people we've all got different priorities

the closer you can get to it it's just such good training for life don't be resentful about someone's financial decision in a couple there's only two of you there's nowhere else to blame like yeah it's your fault it's always your fault never mind never mind okay I've got a community and I feel like this is my favorite part of the podcast i can't believe i've finally done it i paid off all my credit cards today and shut them down over 3k paid off and shut down yes bye i love the shut down it's like go on now go walk out the door it's like very

final yes because I think that's really important like if you're gonna pay off the debt like

buy buy card cut it up I love seeing cut up credit cards can you just cut up a credit card like have you never done it

I don't know I'm not getting out give me a debit card who uses them anymore anyway yeah that's the thing actually we got like with now getting out give me a debit card give me a debit card who uses them anymore anyway yeah that's the thing actually

we got like so I don't obviously I don't have a credit card so presumably can a credit card go in your digital wallet is this a stupid question

yeah what like yeah so you can't cut that up but you can delete it

I mean you do that with a card that's expired it's a thing that people like make sure you I don't know why not even like four you know what but like

fifty actually I've got Calvin novels like confetti you always get those rumours someone can go in your

rubbish bin and stick it all back together twelve thousand pieces of a card with an expired card exactly hacks I've got loads of cards uh like bank cards that either have expired or I just don't use them because I've made like a switch account or something and I've got like a cupboard door like a storage door that gets stuck all the time so I've like caught a hook out of this like all of my cards but I always forget where they are so you like to break into

your own cupboard yeah where my like errors are my suitcases so you can't cut them up then technically I have cut cards you have cut cards but to open a cupboard to break into your own cupboard watch out burglars yeah you've got competition um if you'd like to send us your win please head to the community in the app or email it to the vault at financial.com okay i'm just gonna throw in an extra little segment i'm gonna pick on someone like i'm a teacher finally okay we would really like you to review this podcast Like I'm a teacher. Finally. Okay. We would really like you to review this podcast.

Give us a rating of your choice, but five stars is preferred. Whatever platform you're on. Laura, what review would you give us? This podcast? In like two sentences, you have to give us a review. Okay, I'm going to review your podcast. Well, obviously five like two sentences you have to give us a review okay i'm gonna review your podcast well obviously five stars what's gonna happen um i would say the vault makes money feel like it's for me and not for a load of boring people and um helps me feel like i'm not the only one that doesn't have my shit together.

Is that okay? Yeah. That is pressure improv. Sweating. Terrified. Watch out next week, guys. Just watch out for the next week. Well, they've got time to prep now. I've got nips on.

I'm like literally sweating. I'm sweating. I'm sat on a boot plate. I've got nips on and you're putting me on the spot. Calvin, you're going to be next yeah you're in this Calvin would nail it

okay next dilemma there's a lot of moving parts in this one so keep your eyes she put us on our toes keep your eyes I said keep your eyes peeled

but I meant keep your ears peeled keep your wits about you oh yeah keep your eyes peeled I said keep your eyes peeled but I meant keep your ears peeled keep your wits about you oh yeah keep your ears concentrated don't relax

when at school when the children aren't listening the teacher goes and they all do it back oh go on then

wait what copy it you have to copy it but it gets her attention oh god forget it she finished it you failed percussion

she finished it it made sense what she did that's what I wanted to do I can't breathe there we go oh my gosh now I'm putting you at your toes can you see how we're full of concentration

as you asked us to be we are in we need a simpler rhythm we'll practice we'll get a triangle oh dear god I can't wait to show my kids this they'll not be impressed they think you're so cool not anymore

okay we're stuck in £44,000 worth of debt They think you're so cool. Not anymore. Okay. We're stuck in £44,000 worth of debt. Me and my partner both work, but due to his business going under in March and having large debts from that, which we had to sort ourselves, our total personal debt has now spiraled to £44,000. Although we are paying this off, it seems like a never ending battle. Some of it was required due to a boiler that we found was leaking carbon dioxide shortly after the birth of our baby, so that was definitely a debt that I was willing to put on the card. And the rest was purely business debt as my other half had let things get out of control and not told me. Put into the mix that we'd had a baby in January, an eight-year-old,

a house renovation and that we're meant to be getting married next year, it's all feeling a bit overwhelming. I started my financial journey a couple of months ago and it's going okay. I now have an emergency fund, though it's not a huge one, and I have sinking funds which I didn't even know were a thing until I did the playbook. But the emergency that we now face, having just returned to working in a new job, I've just found out I'm pregnant again. Our baby is only five months old. The financial situation if we had two children in nursery would be absolutely dire. Even if the next government does the subsidised hours it feels like it would be pointless working but we both have to be working in order to pay the bills and debts. It feels like

we're forced to make a decision on continuing this pregnancy based on financial circumstances rather than on emotions, which is an extremely sensitive subject and I feel horrible about it. But we want our children to not have the debt problems that we saw our parents growing up with. For context, I'm 40 this year and I really don't want to miss what could be a small window of chance to have another baby. Is there any advice for a couple trying to pay off a large amount of debt spread across three interest-heavy credit cards and one loan? Is it a bad idea to move to a long zero percent if there is one we could even get? I've even thought about an IVA but I'm terrified of them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. First of all, thank you for messaging in and well done for reading out that dilemma

because it was a deep one. I feel like I want to give her a hug first. Like kudos for actually writing in and wanting to do something about it and the vault is a safe space and I'm glad we've created that for you to be able to write this type of dilemma and trusting us to give you some advice on it. It's like a mixing pot of lots of different things and this is what's overwhelming about money

because it's not about the money it's about life and it's about decisions good and bad sometimes it's luck sometimes it's our own doing we're all human that get us into certain situations whether they're in financial debt and stuff and um then emergencies that happen that we can't predict whether they're going to happen the boiler breaking children is like you know part of our life renovation is a part of life and and I think what's unfortunate for our listener is it's just this perfect storm of lots of things happening at once. And so first things first is you've, you do not like you're going through a lot. It's a lot and we hear you. And that's not as normal as these things happening one at a time and spreading out. So give yourself a little bit of space. And I think with financial, I'm so passionate about separating,

in separating like life decisions from financial decisions from financial decisions where they're like what I call basic needs. And I think being a parent's a basic need. I think we're not talking about someone that wants six and seven and eight and nine children and children are going to grow up in poverty because you just want lots of children. That's not what we're talking about here. And it's not for us to comment on whether you should or shouldn't continue with a pregnancy but if you want more children and if you want that child you there's a separate decision to them what you do about the money you find a way and we'll break it down bit by bit but i don't know what you feel about that because we've heard that before about people not wanting to try for another baby because of and i think that's a little bit different but

i think our advice on a similar podcast was the same which is if you want a baby or another baby you build the plan that will make that happen and sometimes it means moving home and sometimes it means this and sometimes it means that but but you don't compromise it you because you will regret it and the rest of our life is not about how much money we're sat what big pile of money we're sat on no definitely and I think we always say

control what you can control and I would say there are a few things in that dilemma where they can take some control so they talked about getting married next year

pause a wedding like that's a harsh bit of like reality check or a chic registry office wedding I'm just about to say a wedding

I'm literally that you've put the words out my mouth Sophie Haboo and Jamie Lang there's so many little you know hacks that you can do now a wedding doesn't have to be

a big white wedding with 100 guests and 50 guests at night and a sit down meal and a whatever if it's so important that will be responsible so that's where we'd come down hard on you

where you'd be like no no no but I think also it's a bit of life admin to just take away for a while it's not saying we're never going to get married but there's now a new baby in the mix.

You're going to be busy growing that baby. The last thing you want to do is just taking one more thing. Running around after a baby. It's taking one thing off the table. Yeah, I think that's fair. What can we take off the table that's not going to go away forever,

but will just let you feel a little bit lighter? Another one, house renovation. I don't know what state your house is. You could have taken down four walls and it's crucial to get it back stable and in a safe position for you to be able to run a family home. But if it's, we'd quite like to have an extension. We'd quite like to have this. I'm sorry, that's like straight talking again. That's got to be put on the back burner. As long as you've got a warm, safe house, the renovation stops. There's absolutely no need to plough money

into a house when you're busy growing a child and working out how to pay off these debts. In terms of the three debts that she's got we talked a couple of weeks ago about a community member that had contacted the people that she well she had debt and she contacted them to say what can I do I've committed to a debt-free journey I think she even told them that she was doing financial, proved to them that she got an account. What can I do to make these debts more manageable? Because say that you've just found out you're pregnant, you've also got a five-month-old, you've not even had a chance to return to work and create that kind of savings nest again. What can they do to help you? And they will. Like nine times out of 10, absolutely. We've found community members too from the last episode I remember just reaching out and explaining the situation but

control the controllable the two things that I mentioned that you absolutely can take some control over so it just it lets you take a little bit of power back the situation because it can feel very overwhelming that you're stuck in the mud and you're not going to make any progress I've just made two decisions for you yeah but I but I think that is like, that's where you can, we'll be harsh because it's, they're optional. And when you have that amount of debt, no matter whether it was luck or fault or a business that didn't work out fine,

and it's so common, and it does sound like that debt's going to be around for a while as you navigate trying to get your earnings up and trying to navigate three children. But you will be able to get rid of it. We've seen people do it. And you focus on your income. I think getting the cost of the debt down is really helpful.

It's like Holly said, reaching out to these companies. You don't have to jump straight to IVA. I applaud your... Hesitance. Yeah, and kind of your reluctance to go down that route. I feel like obviously the debt charities are really, really helpful. So if you fancy picking up the phone to them and working some of it through with them and just sense checking the plan that you build, head to our community. Lots of people have been in

really similar situations. And you're only a couple of months into financial. You do build momentum when you're on this journey. Reduc reducing the cost of the debt would be really helpful but looking to see what else you can do um and also you know planning for you've got a five month old and so you're not going to be going doing a load of shifts in a shop like you it's going to be realistic it's going to be tough but but there may be things that your partner can do to up his or i think it's him, his income during this time. There may be things that he can do to increase the family income that way. There may be some things that you can do on a weekend and he looks after the baby and the eight year old because, you know, he's a parent as well and the baby will be fine. Just as if you like, you went out for the day with your friends, going out

to work on a Saturday and Sunday, if he doesn't work those days, it's something you could do as well. And it gives you that time and space because you'll be with your hands full, but it'll help you stockpile money. The interesting thing about the child-free, sorry, the tax-free childcare scheme is you can open an account as long as you're not on maternity leave.

So if you're technically on maternity leave. I think she said she just returned to work, didn't she? And found out she was pregnant. So if you've just returned to work the minute you go back into work you can start you can open an account and start putting money in um for help with tax-free child care but as you've said it and you do get free hours and i suspect no matter who um you know what happens with government policy it's really rare for anyone to like roll back something they've offered to parents and

children it was so well received i can't imagine that it get pulled it would be very unpopular and it might not even get voted through so so kind of that's out of your control so for now presume that the hours are going to be there and um and sometimes with early years with the children it's about holding on like survival like try and not like let's let's get the debt down let's not grow it and let's not keep it the same using lots of different hacks and you might have to put a bit of working together whether it's him doing more and you doing a little bit on the side around your health and around your well-being um i think laura's right in this time it might not we're very big on paying down debt

like that's how a thing will help you pay down help you pay down debt but Laura's right in the with your situation I'm half tempted to tell you just to hold on and not add to the debt sometimes that's Laura's advice to people if they're literally in a place where there's nowhere you can move just not adding to the debt is a win in itself and you're doing amazingly well I know it's harsh but sometimes you just need that person in the room to be like by the way those two things that you're trying to juggle along with the other seven they can just go for now and be parked and it's not that they're never going to happen it's just that they're not going to happen right now and that's okay you can have anything but you can't have everything at the same time I feel like she's doing amazing you are doing amazing um please do head to the community ask other people keep us updated as to what you decide to do um i imagine like a christmas check

in i i suspect that that'll have gone down you'll have moved some cards around where you can and and um you'll be you know possibly planning for your next arrival and the whirlwind that comes with having two under two um so good luck all the clothes that you've got for the five months old oh boy or girl they are wearing the outfit like every bit every pram oh my god my baby boy he's not a baby anymore i know he's one he's nearly two wears pink bubbles and he's got long hair like erling holland and and um everyone just says oh isn't she cute and i'm like yeah she is because to be fair she's got a pink bubbling because I am not buying blue ones

I've got lots of pink ones in my house and he had the pram that we bought for Ava 13 years ago we just paid for it to be reconditioned

ain't no nothing new this poor little boy has had some stuff from you at least you had the two boys is he a poor little boy

he's like the happiest kid girl exactly he's fine like kids were born in caves I saw someone it he's fine like kids were born in caves I saw someone the other day being like kids were born in caves

can you all stop buying shit for these kids like they're absolutely fine our parents always used to laugh like my nan used to be like kids oh you just used to put them in a box

in a box or a bottom drawer and they were they don't need a crib don't need a cot like and it's just about stripping back sometimes our children behave like they were born don't need a crib don't need a cot like and it's just about stripping back sometimes our children behave like

they'll burn the cave no comment get off social media because the comparison monster can strike yeah no renovation accounts unfollow all

Instagram renovation accounts delete Pinterest delete Instagram and just go just get into your family and just it's survival mode

but enjoyment as well life can be really simple but really really good and also um there will be a point in your future where you look back and go oh my god that was a crazy time do you remember when we went through that but you there will be time when you look back and the debt will be gone you'll have three beautiful children you'll be building up emergency savings for that next boiler that will break it will there'll be another one that'll go at some point and you'll just be so proud of yourself but sometimes if you're in the midst of you can't see the wood for the trees and like you know you're navigating the

the health complications of being pregnant and being a young mum of a young um baby um you're gonna do amazing I'm excited for you and thank you for asking us to give our two pence worth any final words before we close the vault today I feel like we always finish on this but that just lean on the community there are people that will gladly give you their account of what they've been through and I feel like it just gives people a little bit of hope, like if they can do it. And there's been some stories in our community, you know, in much dire straits than that community dilemma

that had been written in. And they will come back on, like Laura said, at Christmastime six months later and be like, oh my God, I've literally been in the depths of this and I've been a voyeur in this community and watched you all win. And now I'm finally going to share my win with you. So there's loads of people head down as well. been in the depths of this and I've been a voyeur in this community and watched you all win and now I'm finally going to share my win with you so there's loads of people head down as well they go they're inspired and they go right I'm gonna do it and then eventually they go I'm gonna share

also I would love it if we could have a load of like traders in the community imagine if it's like because she's going through a renovation and say she's got like she needs the wall plastering imagine him so I could just imagine someone's like oh my brother's a plasterer I'm gonna send him around like like we could help you know like on this people yeah yeah that'd be cool anyway that's a pirate dream but um that's lots of words nice okay that's all for this episode the vault is now closed and just a quick disclaimer the vault is just a chat around life and money topics we are not giving financial advice