The Vault with Financielle - How To Get Out Of ‘F*ck It’ Mode | The Vault Episode 42

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

Send us a textIn Episode 42 of The Vault, we discuss this week’s controversial opinion, “Buy cheap, you buy twice”, before diving into our listener dilemmas:💸 “The jump from managing money together to by myself”💸 “I’ve fallen off the rails”We celebrate a listener who discovered an unexpected benefit of using Financielle - they have the financial freedom to make a career change and pursue a job they’re passionate about 🥹❤️If you’d like to share your money win, head to the community in the Financielle app or email [e-mail] your (totally anonymous) money dilemmas to [e-mail] and we may feature yours on a future episode 💌Thank you to our partner PensionBee, who are on a mission to help you build pension confidence and create a world where everyone can enjoy a happy retirement. With PensionBee you can combine, contribute and withdraw online. Join over 260,000 customers saving with PensionBee. When investing, your capital is at risk.Sign up and combine your pensions here 🐝Start building your investing routine with Trading 212’s Autoinvest feature here 💸When investing, your capital is at risk. Pies & Autoinvest is an execution-only service, not investment advice or portfolio management. Automatic investing refers to executing scheduled deposits. You are responsible for all investment and rebalancing decisions. This information is not investment advice. Do your own research.Chapters:00:00 Introduction00:41 Tea Time Tales and Morning Routines10:02 Fashion and Quality: Buy Cheap, Buy Twice18:03 Investment Routine and First Dilemma21:03 Navigating Shared Financial Responsibilities23:03 Freelancing and Budgeting Tips25:19 Embracing Solo Financial Management29:24 Overcoming Financial SetbacksThe Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Hey everyone, it's Holly here. Before we get into the episode, I want to share something exciting. That's right. If you're looking to take control of your money, the Financial app is your go-to tool. With the app, you can track your spending, create realistic budgets, and hit your money goals faster than ever. In fact, did you know our premium community members save three and a half times more than our free users? That's incredible. Plus, you'll be part of an amazing community where we all support each other on our money journeys. Whether you're starting to pay off debt or planning for your future, the app has everything that you need to make it happen.

So what are you waiting for? Download the financial app today and start your free trial. Trust us, your future self will wish you did it sooner. Oh, I've got a lovely cup of tea waiting for me it's gonna burn my mouth off i had some visitors this weekend and they were like well first of all they had to ask for a cup of tea oh god lucy which is not good stuff for me as a host um and they pulled some tetley out of the cupboard oh god they were like tetley sorry tetley you can tell you are you talking about do you like Tetley yeah if I was to if I was like she's weak now

you're weak she's just too weak imagine if you you're too strong imagine if you judge someone on the tea I'd be

weak heavily judged you would I'm hot and strong hot and strong describe describe your personality

the way that you drink your tea hot and strong we um we often do the gym in the morning and it's a 5 40 alarm and honest to god my aptitude to get out of bed changed when i when i put a brew in that routine when i was like kettle's going on like the quicker i get my gym kit on the quicker that kettle's going on and i put it in a takeaway cup so that i can take it with me if i've not finished it in time but mentally that's the thing i go for oh i cannot so nice i have five minutes more so i don't have the tea i'm'm 5.45. Is that like a quiet moment for you as well? Yeah, there's an area of the couch that I'll sit on before I put my shoes on.

Because I do put my shoes on in the room I shouldn't put them in. Just revealed to those. He's asleep, he'd never know and now he does. But it's the thing and I have a moment with my tea. I still haven't nailed getting up and not fumbling. What do you mean? I fumble around. My heel must hate me.

If it was the other way around, I swear to God, there would be a... I am so quiet. I'm like... I'm a ninja. I'm not. I creak every floorboard. I drop things.

I swear. I... I would hate it. I have like a wee and then I have another wee just in case. And I can't not flush the toilet just because I can't. So like a wee and then I have another wee just in case. And I can't not flush the toilet just because I can't. So like that, that, brushing my teeth and this electric toothbrush should take it downstairs.

So I don't do the electric toothbrush. I do manual with the electric toothbrush, which is weird. And then when I get home later, I'll do it with the electric toothbrush because I don't feel like I brush my teeth properly. And then I've got something on my car key. You've all seen it. It's a pain. It's that rectangular flat thing

and I if you press it incorrectly it beeps a horn really at 5.50 imagine if Neil did that I'd be

out the window you wake me up but if I do it it's like sorry I'm really sorry I still haven't nailed it

I just fumble so bad I'm nervous I creep around and there's no chance my husband would win yeah I was gonna say well I don't Frankenstein

no I wouldn't so what are you doing but it's these things that I feel a little bit like a dog like it's my treat like I'm connecting the treat to

watch your carrot dangle that's your carrot dangle watch yours probably similar like a little coffee in the morning like in quiet my life is quiet

and if you don't move you will run out of time to sit and enjoy in that moment so you have to I also like sitting on the couch if it's sunny

even if it's cold and sunny I'll go and sit outside like at a little table outside what time are we talking? early like pre-six?

yeah oh probably like 5.45 I'm outside or on the couch depending on how cold it is obviously not sunny at that time I wonder what the neighbours think

she's out again what's she doing? she's no reason to be outside at that time I just live like looking around you're in your house though aren't you you're embracing outside space I was so sad at that time. I just live like, looking around. You're in your house though, aren't you?

You're embracing outside space. We were trapped in a flat with no garden for so long. Like I've got to make the most. She was Rapunzel. Yeah, I've got to make the most of this. I was trapped in a really nice apartment in Manchester.

It was awful. We were literally set outside in the freezing cold. Just because you can. Yeah. We paid for the space. Sitting outside. Paid for it. That's lovely my I think mine's the tea when I get home after the training session so I'm like I've earned this oh then it's chaos yeah it is I mean it's trying to hide what about you Lydia like what's do you do you have a moment with a hot drink definitely not

that early I'm sure um I'm just I can't join in on this conversation. Yeah. I'm just not with it at all in the morning. It's okay not to be a morning person, by the way, because I hate people that are in the 5am club. You hate Lucy? What's the phrase where you're like, you only know when you're in... How do you know they're in the 5am club? Because they tell you all champion it that like what's the phrase where you're like you only know

when you're in how do you know they're in the 5am club because they tell you and I feel like we do the gym we do go oh we go to the gym

we go to the gym I hate going to that time I would much prefer it to be a lovely 9.30am class sounds much better but it's not eating

into your day I don't like it I never like it I would never show off about it you never say that you're in the 5am club you naturally wait just reveal to the nation that you get up voluntarily at 5 45 sit outside i don't even have drink i just do it voluntarily actually you should be embarrassed don't you yeah i go oh i love getting up early on the weekend and leaving alex in bed and alex is like why have you left and i'm like

this is my favorite time of the week don't speak yeah like let me watch my youtube videos in peace yeah don't spoil it by dressing up when he comes downstairs but likewise lydia but lydia i you stay up late like i am eyes rolling at nine o'clock going should we start like what time is it can we put pajamas on next and then how said shall we like sometimes because my husband's an early bird and a late bird late one so weird and he'll like suggest doing something that takes mental power film at 9pm let's do like should we do the asda order at 9 55 pm not even for that morning just the one after just because it's a task that needs to be completed i'm like no no we should have my social battery went 55 minutes ago when i asked you could we start getting ready for bed and now you're

asking me at five yeah well I think like Lucy's like protected quiet time where no one else is around no one's bothering her and everything that's my night time yeah yeah I get that like yeah like peaceful time yeah yeah um but in the morning don't don't don't talk I think that's fine you're one or the other and there's no shame and i hate the whole yeah and i feel like that if that's your quiet time as well like you can actually properly wind down yeah yeah i'm like oh my god i need to go to sleep lucy sleeps fine because she drugs herself i I'll tell the nation. She's a magnesium hun. And not just like a little bit. An American one. Like a horse.

Would sleep fine. Knock out a shite of horse. It's so good. I'll never not do it, I don't think. Probably got a magnesium overload. Any good stuff she's going to have in the future? Yeah. Do you eat a lot of magnesium?

What is it? No, it's not. Oh, no, that's... It's eat a lot of tuna? What is it? No, it's not. Oh, no, that's... It's iron, isn't it? No, what is it when it's in fish? Oh, mercury. Mercury. I've definitely got that as well.

It's so much tuna. I know. It's just a lot. Amiga. No, it's mercury. And they're like, oh, you've got really high mercury readings. And metal fillings.

Oh, jeez. I'm alone. And when we're going on holiday, we're going through the security thing. Beeping. Anywho. That's different from Mercury being in retrograde. That's like the planet, isn't it?

I go crazy all the time. Is it a planet? Yeah, it's a planet. Mercury. Cut that. Keep it in. Welcome to The Vault with Financial. This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. Including planets.

Including planets. Including mercury poisoning. 5am club. Random. I actually recently, we did a couple, we changed our morning routine. So I actually stopped at the gym a couple of nights and was going in, ate a couple of mornings and switched to evening classes, which isn't... How was that?

I have to be really careful I don't eat in like the four five hours before doing it because I really I've struggled on treadmill when I've done that I felt really sick and um but it's led to an evening shower which I don't have I shower every morning but I don't shower before bed and a little bit like a baby it's a bit bougie I love it like. I think it was like, shower, clean pyjamas, skincare. Yeah. Can someone read me a story? Yeah.

Someone write it out. She said to her husband, carry me. Carry me. Carry me up. And then, you know, I actually had,

but only after those two showers, I had a decaf tea actually in bed. A little bit of social media. I need to check my O-ring to see if I did. I just think I felt lovely cosy yeah

you're supposed to have a hot shower before bed quarter on the morning aren't you yeah I'm a hot shower girl like my kid got in the shower this morning

and after me and he was like oh is it cold he was like no it's hot burning I'm like

I need scolding love a hot shower okay controversial money opinion I say this whilst I'm wearing I need scolding. Love a hot shower. Okay. Controversial money opinion. I say this whilst I'm wearing some fugs. But can you explain what fugs are first?

Fake Uggs. Marks and Spencer's Uggs instead of real Uggs. Are they as comfy as Uggs? Yeah. So nice and comfy. Going on the list. You buy cheap. You buy cheap. You buy twice.

This is old school. You buy cheap, you buy twice. It's such a dad saying, isn't it? Yeah. It's a really good one. I think it's true. Depends how it's leveraged. If it's used to buy the thing you want but you can't afford. I think we talk about this in terms of fashion but i think

i don't fashions change so much that now you could spend a lot of money on an item of clothing and the quality isn't necessarily better you're paying for the brand name as in the marketing that they do and the aesthetic that it creates and it's not always the quality i know exactly what brand you're thinking are we going to out people do you know what i mean though yeah wouldn't wouldn't would it's not how it used to be as in like i think that used to be like talking about a sofa talking about a piece of furniture like something that's like practical yeah you're not going to go straight to fashion i know but i think that's what we've all been taught now to do so brands that are expensive lean on this like it's an investment piece no yeah they target that yeah like back in the day you'd buy like i don't know leather shoes

for example a good pair of leather shoes absolutely if you buy expensive expensive doesn't mean good quality a good quality pair of leather shoes that happen to be expensive because the quality is really good they will last twice as long as if you're going to primark and getting ballet pumps yeah and when it comes to fashion like a brand i i have actually bought um a dress that will be due to come i bought an odd muse oh i know i bought a midi a black midi what i love about what amy i nearly sent you that i know what event you're gonna wear it for we are yeah what's the word? Telepathic. So, well, and there's several events in this time of year.

And what she's done with this brand, she worked at ASOS, is deliberately gone for slow fashion. I'm ignoring when people give her a bit of crap sometimes for like drops and this, that and the other because it's a business. But the pieces are not trendy they are not trendy they are not the og of the moment that if you wore this year might not be wearable next year yeah the tasmans yeah like they they're a very specific yeah style she not the og she's got these dresses she still has up the the original blazer that she put live

three four years ago it's still on there it would still work yeah and it's the idea that um i was looking on like other websites fast fast fashion websites and i just they were cheap and i was like they're not gonna last fit nice either like the fabrics are yeah yeah and who's got time to search asos 35 000 black dresses who's got the mental capacity but i had to do that we're not like it was 150 with a bit of discount off so it was a bit less so i had to like when i said this on other pods when you've been on a debt-free journey when you've been on a savings journey it's really hard to spend and to part with money and i have bought cheap things in the past and my

husband said you buy cheap you buy twice he's always been so good at like we've just kind of like revamped his wardrobe and we've got rid of to the charity shop of some t-shirts i'm telling you they're 15 years old yeah but they're still the classics and they've washed really well and they've ironed really well and he doesn't overwear them but they're not trendy so they just can be reused and i think when you put neil loves a bargain so he will buy cheap t-shirts one on the the other, he's got a wardrobe of Represent, very plain, none of the like, Represent Owners Club, like across the back. Just the ones that are like, I've got a self-color. So it'll be like black t-shirt with a black represent sign

so you can't even really see it, but the quality's good. But then he'll get tempted in by, I don't know, like an Asos or a new look and get five t-shirts for like 20 quid. And then obviously three weeks later later there's a hole in one and there's like stayed on the other and they're really thin and crap so i think that's the best way to go about it does it matter so then for like other stuff so furniture your ikea you buy cheap this is what i meant about you could use it as a way to get what you want like we will convince ourselves it's my favorite yeah buy cheap buy twice like but you know like it is it's such a hard thing

I think it's about if you can go to the quality of whatever the item is that you buy in and the sustainability of it sustainability is you and the environment like it is the right thing to not put things on landfill but it's vintage furniture so one thing I won't really want to do is go to Ikea and buy furniture I will go to a vintage shop and an antique shop and I will buy or Facebook marketplace and I'll buy like mid-century like a sideboard I got um a diet an oval dining table off I think it's like 70s one off Facebook marketplace I've got like an antique chair my bathroom cabinet I didn't buy a new one from like I don't know the bathroom shop the bathroom shop I don't know any bathroom brands and then I got a vintage

dresser and a vintage mirror and put a sink got the plumber to put a sink on top of that like I'm very I will buy and so like and so when we go back to the what your fugs you've bought Marks and Spencer's ones so who that is a example of a brand that does like to stand behind quality you know they don't want a lot of their name being dragged with people all the bottoms falling off they've ripped already so there's so I think when you think about the brand you're buying it from and the price point, you can get, and maybe the material, if you know about materials, I really don't, but you can get a feel for,

is this intended to take me through the winter? Because whether we like it or not, when we like something, we like something, and we wear it to death. And it might be that you need to replace boots every year. And maybe that's not awful for the environment, but if you've worn them every single day and you've only bought one pair it's not like you've bought complete cheap ones that you wear two or three times the bottom ways you get five colorways in them yeah that's not the idea i always think like when you think of bugs

now they started i don't know too much about the history but they're like a surfer brand that was a thing in australia i imagine they started really small and really sourced the best fabrics and you're not telling me now with the millions of pairs of uggs that are created they are the same quality and they use the same fabrics and they're all hand stitched i don't know the probably private equity back now yeah they sold it it's like it's scale production like i don't i think unless you get going to like a shoemaker down the road that's like gonna do you know like yeah it's not the same no the world's changed since though that saying used to be like a thing so i'm always a bit wary about it now because i'm like just because it's more expensive doesn't always mean it's better no yeah we'll put we'll

put them to the test we will see yep we'll come back in the spring yeah are the folks still allowed do you remember people used to buy fake hugs and the people literally were walking yeah they're like crinkled in

my real one did that in the end to be fair I had real ones I had real ones and I we went to Disneyland Paris and it was an October time

it absolutely poured down hammered down and I remember being like I actually can't take these home like when you pick them up they're just like sodding I just left them

did you put them in the bin I think no I left them in the bathroom of the hotel I don't know why do you know they put the towels on top

I think I was trying to dry them and they weren't and I was like you can stay there goodbye if someone can dry them out good luck to them but they're not

someone's wearing them now I hope you are I hope you are can you find my airpods as well because I left them someone's walking around find my airpods as well because I left them someone's walking around with my airpods and your apple watch

oh it was my apple watch it wasn't airpods I've never owned airpods that is a lie don't trust anything I say because I was 100% alive

I was thinking I didn't know you had airpods not for long not anymore we're interrupting this pod to deliver a public service announcement. Ladies, you should prioritize your investment routine just like you do your skin routine.

I worked investing into my payday routine with the help of Trading 212. Consistency is key with a routine and Trading 212's auto-invest feature can help you invest in a hands-off way. Also, I find the daily notifications about how my portfolio is performing helps keep me motivated and accountable on my investment journey. Just a side note, we handpick our partners based on products that we love. If you want to take your investing routine as seriously as your skin routine, Trading 212 is a great place to start. So head to the link in the podcast description to get started. Okay, time for our first dilemma. The jump from managing money together to by myself. Hi girls, I've recently split with my

partner of five years. We shared everything, a flat, a car, even a dog. Luckily we were renting so we haven't got to untangle ourselves from a mortgage. I'm lucky enough to have a place to move into where my monthly costs will be slightly lower than what I was paying when I lived with my partner. However, I'll be living alone and will now need to manage all my bills by myself. I also need to figure out the situation with the car finance, as I can't afford the monthly payments alone. In addition to this, I started working as a freelancer this year, alongside doing a master's, so my income isn't fixed this, I started working as a freelancer this year alongside doing a master's, so my income isn't fixed, although I'm working on building up a retaining client base. I have about £800 worth of credit card debt, so nothing major. My priority is to buy a cheap

runaround car and build up an emergency fund. Do you have any advice for us recently single girlies who are heading into the big wide world of solo money management she's well on her way she's like got a list yeah she's doing so well it can be like i said depending on whether her ex-partner was like big on the money management and she wasn't or whether it's just like managing those expenses it's we've talked about the solo tax before like when you're having to fund places and food and policies and stuff it can be super expensive but she does say obviously she's been able to manage that she's moved to a place that's affordable and it sounds like it's cheaper to her than before but it's the car she's took a car out with someone i was about to say how many

of these like everyone always it's such a divisive topic on on tiktok if you check out tiktok any like top performing ones always got laura's opinion about car finance and people like it's so good it's this it's that and only when these situations come about are we like the wheels fall off a little bit this is what happens like life happens and it's not you're not always going it's very rare that anyone in their life would have a consistent income the whole life so you're signing on that day going i commit to you to pay you whatever minimum 300 pounds a month you can't get much less than that i wouldn't have thought no on a car finance at the moment um that's such a big commitment i will pay you 300 pounds a month for the next three years

yeah that's a big commitment yeah shit happens well shit income changes relationships change obviously this is the economy... The economy changes. The economy changes, health changes. The weird thing here, not weird, but it's not often that you would both sign for a car. It sounds like... She says she can't afford the payment. Obviously, they share the ownership of the car, I think.

And so the big thing to sort there is as part of separation, can we get to a point where does he want the car can he take it over can you get your name taken off because you can't control someone else's financial behavior he could get into financial trouble not even his own fault as we've just said stuff comes up and you are meet like if if he if your name's on that and he continues paying it and then stops paying it, they'll come after one year for the money and you don't even have the car. But two, it impacts your credit.

And so always really good to be, if you are taking on credit, being in complete control of it and not doing it with other people. But yeah, I would first try and see, one, does he want the car and can you get your name taken off it? And if not, then you have to continue

making those payments until that turns up. If it's a typical Carly, so it'll be one where there's a balloon payment at the end if you want to buy the car, but otherwise you can kind of walk away from it. So I would definitely have that in your eyesight that you either are going to have to wait until the end of that. And if he keeps the car, do you need to contribute a little bit of money? Sometimes it's worth paying a little bit. You both signed up to that. It's not one person. Even if they keep the car, that contribute a little bit of money sometimes it's worth paying a little bit you both signed up to that it's not one person even if they keep the car that was a little bit different but to try and negotiate that when both your names on it is quite difficult

yeah so you have to sort that car out whether it's hopefully he could take it on so you don't have to worry about it but get your name taken off um and if if you can't it's being fully aware of every single payment knowing that it's you know log into it's being fully aware of every single payment, knowing that it's, you know, log into it every month, make sure he's paying it because it can impact you financially. Because if he doesn't pay it in a month, you have to be prepared to pay it because you are, you know, legally obligated to. But I love that you want to run around. Like that's like such, so many people would jump straight into another lease.

But no, just get a run around. And obviously you're doing your master's, you're freel you kind of got you plan to make money I think it's really important to focus on that that must be quite hard studying and juggling freelancing and a determined income each month you're really good at when people messaging and like I'm a freelance I don't have the same income every month like you always give really good advice on how people can budget for that yeah it's so hard I think that that's why I like that's what in the app what I love about the budgeting tool is you can make as many as you want and you can sometimes I talk about doing an emergency freelance budget and a bougier one and so what's the minimum that you can expect to bring in because

if you can't predict that you really shouldn't be freelancing there should be a minimum that you know you're going to bring in that can cover your main expenses it sounds like you're in a situation because you've shared that these are my expenses you know what you can commit to you know you can sign up to so either you've got and you don't sound like you've got savings either so it sounds like this income is quite predictable because when it's not i can't help you like no one can help you because you are going to be signing up for paying for things and you won't know what's coming in but if you can at least predict a low average build a budget around that you know that your basic needs are taken care of it just makes you feel better like keeping it what are the most important things that you need to pay for like

keeping a roof over your head being able to pay um gas electricity bills food council tax food any other like committed bills that are not like optional stuff that's why it's so important as well to not have credit because the minute you want to make a career change whereby you go freelance and you've not got a desert like a specific income every month you just want to be able to look after like those needs that we talked about not once needs and to be having to pay someone for finance agreements yeah like you passed... I don't want to say mistakes because it might not be so,

but I don't know what it is. It's just annoying. It can hold you back from so much. It could have stopped. It could stop people being freelance. It probably does. It stops a lot of people's flexibility and people living out their passions

and their careers and stuff because they know that they can't possibly keep paying these creditors, debtors. I was going the other way around. When you want to be flexible, it's just not worth it. And only times like this do you go, ah, the penny drops. It would go on the fixed expenses and you're suddenly going, I have to make those payments.

I don't have a choice about making them. So she's got her plan, which is build up a mini emergency fund, buy a car. They will happen in either order depending on what happens with the car. So you're going to have to work out what's going to happen there. But there are lots of pluses to managing money on your own. Do you know what one of them is? And I was single when I started my debt-free journey.

You make the decisions. If you want cereal for tea, you can have cereal for tea. If you want to stay in and watch Netflix and not go out or grab this or grab that, you can do that. If you don't want to have to buy it. But, you know, there's something very, very freeing about, even if you're in a relationship, you managing your decisions, you don't have to overthink for someone else.

When you are running a joint budget, you should have a level of empathy, which is thinking of them as well and going, you know what what do they need what events might they have coming up what you know what events have you got what catch-ups what work things what you know what all these things also things like free spending so when you want to go super intense and you want to take lunch to work they might not want to and it's their decision too I'm saying that lightly because we say like we like being the controlling one and going like we're going to do this we're going to do this and if you've got a lovely passive uh understanding partner whatever sex they are with whatever you're on that's easier

you know but you don't have to railroad anyone you can just do it and so that's what I find really empowering you know you could do extra work you could take on a part-time job there's no one sat there waiting for you and your attention you can kind of be in control of that which means you can control your income so I liked that about being on a solo journey. I see it as a positive because she said oh any advice for solo girls? Embrace it. Like speak to the people in the community there's loads of single people and they're absolutely smashing it much more than they were when they were in a couple is what I would say. Especially when you when like I said you can't get a partner on board. Yes. Whether it's a conflict over the belief of debt or whether it's against spending.

You're an impulsive spender and you just can't get them to get on the same page. Also, what happens often, right, is the woman's got, if it's a male-female relationship, woman's got debt. Dad. Dad. Guy hasn't. Guy hasn't. So she goes

right we're not having takeaways and he's like I've got a minute I'm fine that's like when someone's like you spent all this money we're all on a diet

when your mum's on a diet the house is on a diet is in mourning we're all the bread bin is empty we're no longer at home

yeah I'm moving out the sweet drawer is gone the slow cooker's on the slow cooker you can smell stew oh my god we're on diet i love that is so true but we just did it some of us are characters like that slow cooker is like upsetting you don't even have to ask anyone are they on a diet like

but that's where like you know you are if you want the slow cooker no one's there to kind of who wants it really though i like unless it's like dumplings in it yeah it's clean good or like loads of bread yeah to go with it you need a vehicle when we had soup in the office the weekend you were like i think it's unlimited bread i was like it definitely is unlimited bread do you want some soup with your bread yeah a little bit maybe just a dip you know sauce on the side yeah it's actually just a bowl of croutons with a little bit of soup but yeah that's just like there's good things about it um but if you need that extra accountability like I said sharing it with a friend coming into the community because when we wobble and you will sometimes again if you're eating healthy and you've told everyone

you're eating healthy and you've told your partner you're eating healthy you either have to secret eat the Freddo fell into my mouth and it's the same

with money like you know sometimes if you one of the ways that you save money is we're going to wait and make lunches

they know if you bought your lunch and so it's my poor dad's so funny i messaged my mom and dad that day i was like um just so you know you're on the you're on the pod today and we're talking about dad going to greg's and you getting an alert that he's been to greg's or starbucks or whatever it is no secrets he was like for god's sake you're outing me but other than that you are doing the right thing. You've got your plan.

Emergency funding car, sort the car situation out. And once you've got that budget sorted, you can then relax and breathe a little bit. And then it's about, you know, let me get my emergency fund sorted. Let me buy this car. You're going to need a car maintenance fund. So keeping that in the back of your mind, because if you're getting an older car,

newer cars need them as well, don't get me me wrong but that's a cool thing to build up trying to get consistency with your freelance clients as well because there's something about being freelance and it's great but you want that you want the retainer vibe yeah but also not being too reliant on that one company because stuff budgets get pulled but also if you are doing a master's i'd like to think you're doing it because there's an income trajectory opportunity what I mean by that is there's going to be a job or a business but more likely a job at not at the end of it but that you can apply for at the end of it it is really important that you put effort into that now use the university networks make sure

you're making contact with companies because if you're going into a job which it sounds like you will do ultimately you need that salary kick up because you've done a master's i'm assuming that's going to be costing quite a lot of money you might have some other student debt it means you're specialized in some sort of subject so you like you say you should have a kick up in demand that and like you've made a good point get make those connections now because everyone will be graduating at the same time they'll all be going for the same jobs whereas if you can start doing making your connections doing a bit of work experience with people getting your name out there you're going to be in a much better position to get a job and you might be able to secure them before you've

even finished yeah that's the ideal we've seen that before like with a typical um masters there's usually a dissertation or a project to do with it picking a topic that's a real life topic and there could be a company or business whether it's in science or in business or whatever there could be someone that needs that work doing and you literally get a chance to interview by doing a project with them they get a free project you kind of get an opportunity and a foot in the door but if you do we really want this master's to pay for itself and so focusing on income and like you need your freelancing work to be able to pay your bills you might have a student loan as well you've not said but make sure that's not at the detriment to your networking because that next job is the job that

is going to like solo budgeting you want the income up you've not got another person's income supplement you want to smash it and so start that work now yeah okay i've got a good community win i discovered an unexpected benefit of using financial today i'm quite unhappy in my current job but i've worked out that i can move to a role that pays a little less in a completely different industry that i've been dying to break into it's not quite a fuck off fund but i'm still but it's still giving me options for freedom thank you once again financial fingers crossed i guess some interviews yeah it's so exciting the power of managing your money just opens up the door for so many other things that you never really thought about and one community win that always sticks with me and i'll bring it

up time and time again is the woman where she got time back she took less money because she did better things with the with the lesser money and spent more time with the kids and she was like did not even consider that to be a thing i just always thought how can i get more money and it's like no no what can you do with the money that you've got put that to better work give yourself time back yeah the impact was the same so she could still hit the financial goals she could still do her investing she could still do the things but she got time just because it wasn't being frittered away and you know I've seen people calculate that before like what's my hourly rate like what do I make per hour how many hours do I have to work to fund this car to fund my takeaways to fund this bit of beauty is it worth it it's a

really good little exercise for people to do because you know we should all work out what do we get paid per hour and what are we buying with that because we won't get anything done because I'd be like that's that is not worth my £10 decision I'd be like um um if I get paid this and then I work this many hours and I'd be like just buy the coffee we're in the queue. Should I? Add a tip. If you'd like to send us your win, head to the community in the app or email it to thevault at financialhealth.com.

Okay, ladies, I've got a controversial money opinion from our friends at PensionBee. Bougie friends impact your financial wellness. Agree, disagree? 100% agree. Bougie friends can derail you on your money journey whether you're paying down debt saving towards a big money goal or just want to get to the end of the month with money left over yeah one thing to note here is that your bougie friends may act bougie on the

outside but are probably struggling to manage their money you heard it here first ladies keeping up with the joneses is officially out and financial wellness is in. If you want to delve further into this conversation, check out episode 27 of PensionBee's Pension Confident podcast. The Pension Confident podcast is available right now wherever you usually get your podcasts. And remember, when investing, your capital is at risk. Okay, next dilemma. Okay, time for dilemma number two. I've fallen off the rails. I'm really frustrated with myself, so I'm in major need of accountability. I've fallen off the rails a bit recently for a few reasons, major unforeseen and uncontrollable costs being one of them. I've got a list here,

okay? My boyfriend crushing his bike in a foreign country and spending lots of money to rescue him. Then all of my winter clothing needed replacing for the first time in five years. I've properly invested and won't need to buy more for years now. New diving gear and Oasis tickets. My spending has just gone crazy and I kind of went into fuck it mode for a while. Couple that with just the sheer cost of life,

I want to cry every single time I buy food. Everything feels like it's double the price, my normal coffees with friends, food out etc. I've massively under budgeted and honestly I just haven't tracked my spending at all. I've whacked £1,500 on PayPal credit without even realising how much I've spent. I'm just absolutely fuming that I've fallen into the trap after all the amazing work I've done with my pension, saving for a house deposit, getting debt free, my emergency fund, etc. I just felt so burnt out in the process and I'm definitely a stress spender. I haven't even realized what I've been doing until I looked at my bank. Is it normal to hit this fatigue slash complacency? I have ADHD, so I'm always fighting impulse.

Any advice for getting back on track? I feel like I've been on a journey. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Seems chaotic. Yeah. Like you're definitely on the journey with it. When she's talking about, she went, this is so ADHD.

Look at me with my absolute medical qualification. But I relate to a lot of it when she's gone she's done everything really well but she got so intense that you can feel burnt out and it's also a slippery slope and I'm saying this with love but this is like your big sister vibes I'm like on your side and I've been where you've been. It's a slippery slope because what we start to do is excuse the little spending. So I had to have a new winter wardrobe for the first time in five years.

The fact that you've said it was the first in five years, you're already kind of pre-empting that you probably shouldn't have done it. It's like you're already excusing it. It's you know even if you want to do that every year you do that every year to give the caveat you had to like it's like you felt bad so you had to convince ourselves of anything convince ourselves of anything and so and so do you need a whole new wardrobe yeah could you have got a couple of key pieces and if she's you like i think you feel guilty that because that's why you gave the excuse and

then you talked about and you needed diving gear i don't need diving gear i'm gonna pull her up it's the unforeseen and unexpected um expenses diving unforeseen all right diving gear oasis tickets brand new wardrobe something else and and so what happens is in isolation most of us can make these uh expenditures and these impulse spending we can make make these impulse purchases and they don't rock the boat but then what happens especially if you are someone that's a bit scatty because i am in the moment you're like i could take this to waste his tickets it's the you know they're getting together for the first time in 20 years like it's a big thing it's a moment in history bought them move on and then there's the getting together for the first time in 20 years. Like, it's a big thing. It's a moment in history. Bought them, move on. And then there's the,

and you went to wardrobe and nothing to wear. There's like a gateway purchase and you're like, well, that one was fine. It's a gateway purchase. What's your gateway food? Mine's nuts.

Pastry. Once you start, can't stop. Yeah, chocolate parlor. Or crisp. It's like, yeah, exactly. And it's this then relentless of, so, and what's also happened is life has happened to her like the emergency with the boyfriend is something that unforeseen

and you've done a great job helping him out whatever you've had to do there it sounds you've had to spend some money and then costs have gone up yeah but what's happened is because you've like gone on the slippery slope with the spending and then you you kind of stack these things you're blaming the food for feeling out of control you're like blaming the cost

the cost of living crisis which it is on this chaos you're like oh isn't food terrible it's like well if food was terrible and if you were

really in on your budget you would know so you would up your grocery budget so you would have absorbed it because if you'd have done really well with the emergency fund you would have been able to

this is ideal world you've got your emergency fund issue with the boyfriend crashing his motorbike emergency fund's there so then I need a tight month because I need to budget and then Oasis tickets

come available and you go I can't afford them so I'm a massive massive Oasis fan watched them the first time around I didn't

I decided not even to try for tickets Holly tried for tickets didn't get them for like 8 hours but I really I'm a fan

I have been so you deserve to go on the front of the barrier on the floor of the barrier. On the floor. On the floor I was. So you deserve to go as much as anyone else. You can convince yourself that you could.

I could have sole pitched it to you all and I didn't. And I'm not trying to be like, well done me. Yeah. Amazing. It's tough. It's tough. There's always, there's always things like the winter wardrobe thing. Like I get it, especially if you've not upgraded it for a while so tempting

so tempting but I don't but it sounds like you put it on PayPal credit sounds like you didn't use cash for it and so I think what you need to do

is acknowledge and you did you are very very humble in this message and you are very like self-deprecating a little bit in some areas

like I'm messed up I'm in the middle of a suspender you know and we're on your side some of us are the same it's time for a clean slate it's time for a budget that allows spending I think you've been so restricted that you've gone a bit crazy I find out and then you know it's like it's like the binge eating thing that that lots of us experience it's I mean i don't well eat well all week therefore let's ruin it and it's the slippery slope that once you've it's once so that's why no spend months are really good yeah because they're a good reset but they're a really good reset yeah but they're also same

mentality just in a different way it's the opposite isn't it yeah it's like you can still get obsessed with something but it's the opposite thing but it's not about spending money the decision achieving a goal with a no spend month the decision to spend has been taken away yeah so you can't with a higher power yeah yeah but it has been so it means you don't have to if oasis tickets i'm using that as an example because i know how expensive they were as well for people went up for sale in that month and you'd not put them on your little list which which is, I've got the cash for them, I really want them, and I'm going to be...

The decision's taken away. Wouldn't it be good if Oasis could have let us know ahead of time and then we all could have created a sinking fund for it? It's just really... Yeah. I wonder if anyone did have

an Oasis sinking fund. Well, we have an entertainment one. Manifested it. But it definitely wouldn't have covered it, by the way. But nobody knew. You've got to sell them. And your diving gear.

Oh my God, profit. Sell them. Holly might buy the fucking one. Diving gear? I think that means a holiday then, presumably. That's what I mean, in the UK. So then you've got to be paying for trips and stuff. I'm so cutthroat.

When it's someone else's budget, I could... Yeah, it's easier. Different story if it's like... You don't need to eat! Who needs a house? Sleep sleeping your car that you paid for in cash whereas at the moment you're navigating this chair that you've bought that was a gateway chair the gateway chair let's tell you the story of the chair if i think we have talked about oh i think we were laughing we were laughing at so i think it was my mom that was like

oh you've got a chair that um doesn't fit in that room now it's your office and I was like but we've got a couch well buy a new buy a new chair or something and I was buying a new couch and we were all like to go with the chair I bought a new couch because the chair is meant to go in the snug room which has now become the office so then the chair doesn't fit with the current couch it was gorgeous brand new from dusk like I've sat on it once. And that was the description on Facebook Marketplace. I have sat on this chair once. No one believed her.

Literally, how stupid. Why is she selling it? She only sat on it once. Liar. No, no, I sat on it once. Couldn't sell it. So therefore, I decided we'll get rid of the couch, buy a new one so we can fit the chair

and the new couch in the room. So if Holly was in a situation where she wasn in the room so if holly was on a in a situation where she wasn't managing money well and she was on debt-free journey it had been like what you don't need a couch yeah i haven't said it to myself a few times but the ridiculousness of my mum's suggestion to buy a new couch god of course you'd go for that of course she'd suggest that that's exactly what she's done but this is the point where when it's your own budget it's very different it's easy for us to kind of point poke at you a little bit and and like I said it's with love and it's it's it's time now for a reset on your budget give yourself a break like you

december's a tough month for this so december's all about treading water i always say yeah i always say you don't need to hit a big money goal in november or december you don't have to hit january is a great month for a no spend and lots of people may well be doing it. Have something in that budget that makes you feel like you're not restricting yourself because that can stop the slippery slope. And you know how to do it. You just reset and start again.

I just want to say you've done it before. Like, and you can, you've ticked off loads of things there. Biggest thing is getting your emergency fund back up, I would say. And your boyfriend paying you back some of the money that you spent trying to save him. Yeah's a really good point as well that was not your problem to solve like it's great that you were there and you had the emergency fund because of financial but

let your priorities to build that back up because you then won't be tempted to dip into credit and the accurate budget involves looking at what things genuinely cost and so like i don't want you i want to get financial users to a place they don't look at the bill apart from the check that like i don't look at the bill and sometimes you end up paying for things that you don't have so check the bill i'll get someone to check the bill but what i mean is i don't want you wincing yeah i want everyone to not realize it's payday yeah like you're not desperate for payday i want you to be able to go to your bougie garden center for a breakfast or a salad with avocado and not wince just go like that's what it's cost that's the goal

it's a long time for most people to get there but when you get there there will be room for someone's going to put a concert on and i might be going there'll be room for holiday wardrobe purchases like i would love people to have a winter wardrobe fund and not feel guilty no and she could have watered that budget as well so she could have gone right okay i can't afford it all right now but i what am i like four key pieces that i want to get and it could have taken a few months to get there so i've got um 50 quid so i'm going to get the jumper and next month i want to buy the boots and i need the coat by this one yeah yeah you don't you don't you don't have to walk sorry you don't have to walk out of h&m or um i don't know don't even go on the high street or buy an asos hall

or whatever it might be in one go you don't that's bloody bougie you want to you don't have to sorry it is i don't even do that and i'm like would consider myself like i am consumer debt free emergency fund invest blah blah i could go out and do that but i don't i pick like one thing at a time taste change as well you don't have to have the whole sorry say it with love take it back if you've not worn it yet so true you've had the dopamine hit of buying it just send it back do what everyone else does don't wear it i mean just like you've got the dopamine hit're buying it just send it back do what everyone else does don't wear it I mean just like you've got the dopamine hit of buying it yeah do what we all do and just send it back

you've had the hit it's very healthy any final words I think she might go might drop take it back I think be kind to yourself like we're poking fun at the situation and telling you to take stuff back and don't go watch oasis and get your money back from your boyfriend but actually just be kind to yourself you've achieved a lot in the last i don't know how long you were doing it for but you know what you need to do you know what you need to do and we'll be there that's all for this episode the vault is now closed just a quick disclaimer the vault is just a chat around life and we are not giving financial advice.