The Vault with Financielle - How To Handle Jealous Friends | The Vault Episode 17

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Send us a textWelcome to The Vault with Financielle.In this episode of The Vault, we discuss friends who can become jealous of our financial success🚀.We share our tips on how to progress on your money journey without missing out on your social life 💅🏼. We work through a difficult dilemma from a community member navigating rising tension around maternity leave and lack of contributions to her pension from her partner 💔Tune in to hear some controversial money opinions and inspiring community wins 🤩Visit https://www.financielle.co.uk to join our community!Chapters:00:00:00 - Umbrella Shopping Mishaps00:03:57 - Does Money Buy Happiness?00:07:38 - Buying Happiness and Losing Friends00:14:58 - The Struggle of Saving While Others Spend00:18:23 - Celebrating Anniversaries Debt-Free00:22:07 - The Magic of Financial Growth00:25:38 - The Gender Pay Gap and its Impact on Pensions00:29:03 - Saving for Maternity Leave and Financial WellnessThe Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

we made sandwiches so we had sandwiches on the plane so we were like that's so good yeah yeah 220 water 220 water this morning i woke up and i was so tired and all the transactions i was like i've been hacked welcome to the vault with financial this is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. Morning, everybody. Good morning. Morning. I felt like an assembly. It did. We're in unison.

Chorus. I've got a prop today. Oh, a prop. Yeah. So, picture me. Just got off my train at Lime Street. It was so sunny this morning when I was waiting for the train. I was like, bliss, I'm going to take my jumper off.

Got off the train, chucking it down. I was like, oh my God. Can't film a podcast with frizzy hair. So I bought this. An umbrella. Lovely looking umbrella. This looks so swanky on. This isn't a grab and go at the newsagents.

This is, it's got buttons. Would you like, it's got buttons would you like it's a snazzy one go go gadget go go gadget I have not had my tea yet that really made me jump for those people

listening and not watching she just pressed the button and it exploded that was very entertaining how much were we thinking I paid for this well like Laura said it looks

for me it looks very swanky with the eject button that you've just demonstrated. That costs money. £7.99 more, maybe £9.99. I would hope for your sake, because it was a smash and grab, a £5, but I'm going to go over £10. Lydia, any guesses?

I want to say like £5. £15. British pounds. For an emergency umbrella. And guess where it came from? My food budget. Because it's the first pot I have. And it's the easiest pot.

So you're not eating today because you've got an emergency umbrella. Some really good avocado. Some nice tuna. What could you have spent £15 on? The thing is, you're going to get used out of it. So this is not like I bought a parasol or a sun hat. That would have been a waste.

Live in England. Probably the rainiest city. Money pair use is going to be minus. But I leave them places, so... I was just about to say, the only caveat... Yeah, well, I just nearly left it in the coffee shop.

There you go. The only caveat is not leaving it. Oh, my gosh. So if you'd have left it in the coffee shop, it would have been £15 for 15 minutes. Oh my God. That's what it would have been. And I also tipped in the coffee shop.

Can't get into that again, but I was thinking, as soon as you said coffee shop, quick one, we can edit this out if you want, but Neil went to Amsterdam and he was, do you know the like sushi counters

where it's like self-serve? At the airport. At the airport. Sorry, yeah, on the way home, a guy was in front of him and Neil was like, you know the like sushi counters where it's like self-serve? At the airport. At the airport. Sorry, yeah, on the way home a guy was in front of him and Neil's like, you literally just pick up

the sushi and pick up the drink and then you self-serve the till. And the guy panicked and came up with a deal on a tip. He said he could see the guy being like,

not sure. There was not one employee around because it was all self-serve. There's nothing, there's nobody serving you and the guy pressed tip and neil's like self-induced self-induced stress

do you get it back that's listen impressive revenue generate oh do you know what we could do what can we do to improve the margin just we do it. There was not one. At that point, I was just like, would you like to pay more? Do you want to pay this or this price? Yeah. That's basically what he did because he didn't receive any engagement with anybody. He was like,

there's no staff. Too fair. I would tip for that. I would rather have no. Do you know what Neil should have done? He should have put his hand on his shoulder and gone, mate, you don't need to.

Don't worry. Don't tip. Like sometimes you need someone to say not to. No one's going to judge you. Instead he laughed. He let him squirm. That's funny. Okay.

I'm going to say a controversial opinion. Money does buy happiness. Agree, yes or no agree I didn't want to be big and sheer agree no people that say that usually have a lot of it definitely

don't they really like who it's a place of privilege to say I know many millionaires aren't happy It's a place of privilege. You hear celebrities and like billionaires when they're interviewed and they're like, I'm not, you know, I know many millionaires aren't happy. I'm like, yes, but you don't have the worry about your house taking off for you tomorrow or you not being able to feed your kids

or whatever it might be. There's different levels of happiness and security. Yeah. And I don't think they're talking about the thing that brings you happiness. The actual money. Yes. they're talking about the thing that brings you happiness. The actual money. Yes. They're talking about everything

that comes with it, like the fame and probably like... All the negative stuff. Yes. Which I imagine it does and nobody's saying that. Yeah, of course. But if you take two people

in two very different situations and one is financially vulnerable and one isn't, if you were to give them money and they could be in a financially well situation, do you think their happiness would increase yes and listen if you spend like the earning more money is useless if you just spend more money generally like you know and you can't spend though on things that do make you happier but um like money gives you choice and options

and freedom yeah freedom completely and And I feel like happiness is probably maybe the wrong phrase, but yeah, just options, choice. And there was a study done and I can't remember the figure. I think it was like something like if you earn, once you earn over like £70,000 is like the optimum that you can earn,

which is a really good quality of life. Really? This was years ago, so it's not been because of inflation, but the study was what it would be now. And it was because it was once you take into account average cost of living, average cost of houses, the idea that you might want to go on a holiday or two a year, that that's like the minimum that you can earn,

where actually I think that you don't get an incremental increase in happiness as you do with your salary but it's still kind of you've still got to think about being in a job you might not like that job you might be in a relationship you don't you don't want to be and you might get sick like because there's loads of different things and so we're not sat there sat here thinking everyone has to be a millionaire and you must make that happen but don't kid yourself into thinking spending it all is going to make you happy either because it's that balance between spending it on things or having money to be able to spend on nice things like like for instance I'm happier when I've had a blow dry I'm happy I'm a nicer person to be around I have a lot of hair and when it's so I did it went away this weekend and I had

to um and I said to my husband should I wash my hair now Holly would have said no because Holly can empathize with the time that it probably takes to do it but husband was like don't worry I'll sort the kids which he did I thought you're gonna say I'll wash your hair for you but he um he was like don't worry I'll watch it you've got time But he was like, don't worry, I'll wash your hair. You've got time. I knew I didn't have time. Yeah.

But I also had a busy work week and I thought that should be really helpful if I wash my hair today. Half an hour late for the start of the party because we were away for a party. I finally walked downstairs hot and bothered. And annoyed at your husband. For making me take some time on my own human but why i mean

obviously there wasn't like a hairdresser out there but during the week at home this is a really long way to explain isn't it but it's done i've paid for that life i think you're trying to get at life admin yeah so money can help you pay for life admin things that weigh heavily on your brain interfere today take up time time time yes time it gives you time back so again it's bougie things but a cleaner is really like the fact that we're from five and we've put room in our budget to pay for that now when we were paying down debt or buying the house or renovating we couldn't afford it it. And so it was not something that we did, but actually making these small choices. Now the balance is having the money and spending on things to bring these incremental pieces of joy whilst

being in a bad financial situation isn't a good idea because actually you're not happier because you're still worried about the thing. But yeah, I think it can buy happiness and bring us more happiness. And so we shouldn't, you're not obsessed with money or a bad person for seeing it. And it's not about buying things. No, I like what you said about buying time. Yeah.

Remember that? Or buying choice. There's a community member that she'd done the financial playbook and she'd worked through it, like really good, positive money journey from start to finish and she said

her biggest revelation she thought was going to be like a monetary figure like oh with you guys I've paid off 10 grand debt or whatever it might be and started a pension

she was like I've actually reduced my working week to four days so I can spend it with my child the fifth day and she said

I didn't quite realise that embarking on this journey that I would get time back so the odd thing about that is she didn't get more money she got less but because she managed it better. Yeah she had more to go. So reorganising the money brought her happiness. Yeah. Cool. Yeah it can. I like it. Okay. Dilemma time. My friends are jealous I'm investing. Hi girls, over the past year I've really been focusing heavily on my financial future. After having a relationship breakdown I'm really trying to build

strong foundations for my future self. I've started investing and have become much more disciplined about my spending, meaning I've had to cut back on socialising and some of the more spontaneous and often expensive plans with my friends. While I'm proud of the progress I'm making, my friends don't seem to understand. They've started making comments about how I'm no fun anymore and have even hinted that I'm acting superior because of my newfound discipline. It hurts because I still value their friendship deeply, but I don't want to jeopardise my financial goals. I've tried explaining my reasons, but it doesn't seem to sink

in they think i'm just being stingy or boring i'm caught between wanting to maintain my friendships and staying committed to my money plans how can i deal with this situation without losing my friends or compromising my goals oh wow what a dilemma i feel for her i think it's a her it's it's a journey um not a capital j and not a one direction type of journey but it's a journey like a health and fitness journey and if you put if you change a habit or change your behavior um there's a few reasons why our friends may not be supportive not understanding it is one you know if you've been on this content discovery machine you've been listening to fan and shell you've been listening to the vault you've you you go down a rabbit hole you're in a community of people that talk about

this but your actual friend like it's we have we forget how much we know and get used to this and then it's really strange for someone else so there's that angle there's also jealousy sometimes as well you know like I've seen it in lots especially in the health and fitness if someone's like in into the gym and or like they might not drink for the weekend because they're like you need to eat yeah why are you eating enough yeah that's not good for you you know yeah I feel like it comes from their own shame probably definitely yeah they're obviously maybe not as good with money and can't quite see the benefits of what this person's doing.

Well, when someone... Sorry, Holly. No, it's fine. When someone makes a decision or is doing something that really deep down you've probably always wanted to be able to do yourself, it is, to your point lady it is shame and it can be in the highlighted something in us which could one make us look bad because

if you're making that decision and i'm not doing that then yeah and everyone's commenting on you or like then am i doing something wrong but yeah it is deep-rooted isn't it yeah that reminds me of this um sign my nana has in her kitchen it says what live laugh love no it's it's better he says um please god if you can't make me thin make my friends fat did she buy it herself i don't know i need to imagine buying that as a gift okay we need well we need to know so that's a follow-up that's the banter isn't it and and you know i always said like investing shouldn't talk about the investing she she is doing at the moment but it's a very um

it's a very secretive world or it can be quite intimidating like what do you mean investing like lots of us don't realize we're all investors. Just the fact that if we're paying into a pension employer or ourselves, if we're putting money into an ISO and it's a stocks and shares ISO, that's investing. So we're doing it. And, you know, even if she doesn't have deep stocks and shares chat with her friends, what she's having to do is she's having to use her disposable cash every month to deploy into her investments. And it's that bit that seems to be the more controversial thing

rather than I've got a new hobby or I'm really into this investing stuff. It's actually the fact that she's spending less to be able to send money to those places. And I think on the flip side, I think balance is really important. You know, we've got friends and financial people who save too much. They go too hard. They get so obsessed with it that actually life is for living and you can kind of look at their budget

and they've probably got a bit of a problem the other way, the opposite of a spender where there could be something wrong in their past. They could have finally got money for the first time, like a squirrel in the heart and they're all up. And the hope is that you don't then lapse and binge with the money and spend it.

But for these kind of people, they don't. And it is, you know, I've got a friend who passed away and he was amazing with investing.

He was a proper finance nerd. He was so, so wonderful and passed away really young. And as he got older and he also lost his wife and Martin's wife passed away again, both really, really young. He definitely lent into spending. He travelled a bit better. He got the car that he wanted. There was a few decisions that I think for a long time

he had held back on because he was so deep into the optimising the finance and optimising the investing. And I think that speaks volumes, actually, of what decisions we have to make, this balance where possible. But to be the trailblazer in a group yeah it's always hard isn't it yeah definitely but i think you compare it to like a fitness journey and we go to the gym together with a big group of people and you see other friends going oh what are you all doing like they want to be in the club and it's really good and everyone's so like welcoming

and and that's what this person will be experiencing with financial and she'll be getting frustrated that it's there's just not that it's just a not understanding. If you're not in the same place about putting your money away or eating healthy or pulling back on drinking or whatever, whatever the thing is that you're embarking on your journey and no one else can understand, you're always going to have this struggle. What should she do? What would you do?

What would I do? I think, I mean, she sounds like she's got her money shared together. So she must have like sinking funds. Yeah. That's what I'm envisioning

if she's investing. I definitely think the balance play is important. But she said after having a relationship breakdown, that's kind of like

got her to the place where she's like, right, I need to like provide for my future self and like just get some protection so I think her friends should she should like maybe try and just like go that one step further and explain again I know it's annoying to like have to explain the why not just

like I'm not coming out because I'm saving no no like my relationship broke down yeah and maybe like like we say all the time like open up about be the one who's open about finances you don't have to say like figures and everything like I just think that's an important thing and it might spark someone else and then you can all kind of like go on this journey together like like what you guys guys do with the gym like you can all talk about it and make that a part of the friendship yeah and stop the shame like and she it might be that she say no to everything so i think that like you said balance is key like start to say yes to a couple of things like you know how to run a budget it sounds like so just start to put a little bit away and not because you are trying to please your friends but for you like you need to be yourself joy you can't lock

yourself in a room and just be like i'm just going to invest and save everything because that's just not really like a long-term way of being well and listen i think with the tone bits of it is she doesn't want to do what they're doing so be the person that suggests the thing that you would like to do so if there's a trip you want to go on a foodie place you want to go to a park you want to go for a walk in be the person that leads the you know yeah yeah um i mean lucy would be glad that there's just no plans. You'd say no anyway. It's you who says every week.

I know. But I think you don't have to do, because when you're on a money journey and your friends suddenly say, we're going to go out for this meal, you know it's going to be 150 quid. That's not a lot of money nowadays. Honestly, for people listening to this, I know you're're empathizing with this because if there's a particular type of

restaurant a particular type of night out that's going to happen you know what that figure is and you have to be comfortable that that can be uh absorbed into a budget or saved up for and deployed without you feeling crap yeah because it can be a kick to the... We've all paid in that restaurant when you're like, Jesus, that was not worth it. I would never do that again. Like you feel guilt and shame on yourself for going to a restaurant and spending that amount of money.

Yeah. And she obviously is just going, I'm not feeling that way. She's protecting herself. I like this one. She's, I think you're right. And I think for the spontaneous stuff, like we always say for spontaneous stuff like have a spontaneous sinking fund yeah and you don't have to say no to everything but make on your terms it won't do like this investing

and growing wealth is for the long term you know we had um a member this morning in the chat talking about her anniversary and whether she should spend to celebrate the anniversary while she's on a debt-free journey. It could put back her debt-free time. And it won't because one month in the rest of your life really won't put you next month in the month after the month after. I hate gift buying anyway. I would be like, this is my bow-out excuse

to not go and find a shoddy gift for our anniversary. Oh no, she's talking about Spidey. She said, yeah. I don't like people touching me, so that would be a no. So paying someone to do that, would you?

I would pay someone not to touch me. Yeah. That would, you'd be happy to not have that. I'll not touch you. Alternative, I'll throw money, alternative side hustle.

No touching, just lie in a dark room with your face in a hole that's it but the practicality of it is like what these one-offs aren't going to derail you and to stop your progress if they become more than one-offs they will and ultimately if you don't find value from them you'll just torture yourself mentally so say yes to the things that you want to do and don't be afraid of stopping them um or suggest the thing that you want to do but more importantly what you said is like talk to them about why you're doing it and why it's important and sometimes even in a bit of a banter where you they might not realize that they're making you feel it's weird or that you're doing something stupid. with a doll that he doesn't think is stupid with a pin chain and a hat take on this new like persona of like an investing

queen own it monopoly man yeah no I like that good one good one okay I think

I've got up there top three favorite community wins oh you say this every time must be a good one

okay you ready Top three favourite community wins. Oh, you say this every time. Must be a good one. Okay, you ready? I've just paid off 5K on credit cards this morning. I now own my boobs. Amazing! No, it's not me. There's no secret message in this. that is so cool i love so good that you know that i need to know more though like god you you've like leaving me hanging here yeah can you uh message in with more info please yeah but that the the aesthetic industry obviously is getting bigger

and bigger and bigger people you know i've been through an Invisalign journey like people are having like cosmetic surgery or or um or dentistry all this stuff that does cost a lot of money and it's so easily financed and it makes a lot of sense it's really when it comes to our appearance it's a really hard thing to for us to stand here and say you should do it debt-free but you should should, like you should. So we will say that for anyone thinking about these kind of procedures, even if it's for your own self-esteem, it's the same thing with like fitness, like people that run out and go get a really expensive gym membership, they pay for a PT, they go get a Peloton.

All the equipment. They get the equipment. Like, yes, your health is important. You don't have to pay that amount of money to sort it out. It has to be able to fit in in your budget it has to otherwise it like we've not got a job we're not meant to be here so we have to say that for those people that have already gone down the finance route for some of these products must be a really weird thing like I mean this is credit card but imagine if

you'd stop paying them like do they take your boobs back like what you know do you know what amazing that you shared that with us that's such a lot to inspire people because um all these bits of finance want the paid off they're so it's so empowering to invigorating you get people jumping from one thing to another though you want to like i feel like that person that's done not going into finance again because you'll always find the next thing once you've paid that one off there's a risk that you've got that excess in your budget and you're like okay so now i'm gonna get a new car and now i'm gonna get and the whole thing with financial is you realize that that excess is so precious and it can go to stuff that can grow and that's where the magic happens where you really start to

turn that mindset around yeah the finance is a hamster wheel so you have to decide never to do it again otherwise there's just kind of no point in paying the first one off because you're just you know payments payments payments community members cutting up credit cards and taking a picture and i just think there's such a statement in that to cut up physically cut up a credit card must make you lose have i given away your dilemma no you're like um yeah to cut up a credit card just shows such like a line in the sand. Like you would find it hard mentally to go and get another one after doing such like a physical like. Yeah, it's like the ultimate form of friction.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's stressful. It's like during the movies when there's a check, it's like, I don't need your money. And then you rip it off and you go, oh, but what do I need to do? I'm always like, can you stick it back together? Yeah. Would they accept it?

You take all of it. Good one. I like that one. My husband refuses to pay into my pension. Ladies, please help. I'm currently on maternity leave, which of course means I'm not earning my usual income and cannot contribute to my pension as I normally would. After listening to the podcast,

I've asked my husband to help by paying into my pension during this period, but he's resistant to the idea. Instead, he insists that when we retire, he will share his pension with me. While I appreciate the offer, I'm worried about the long-term implications. Not contributing to my pension now could significantly impact my financial security in the future. I'm also concerned about the lack of independence it could create as i'd be relying on his pension i've tried to explain my concerns to him but he doesn't seem to understand why this is so important to me it's causing tension between us and i don't want this issue to affect our relationship how can i approach this situation in a way that helps him see from my perspective

and find a solution that works for both of us this is where we're in trouble because this is our fault and i you know a bit clickbait with the dilemma my husband refuses to pay into my pension and i can imagine lots of husbands being like this goes why should we on youtube shorts you've got no chance good luck so for unhinged comments i think the context will explain it a little bit because she's absolutely right and he should. But let's, let's go a bit wider. So the, the gender investment gap's massive. The gender pension gap's massive. I think I saw a stat recently, it's grown and it's now 36%, which is a higher stat than when I was doing some work a couple of weeks ago on it. Where, when a woman retires in the UK, she's likely to have 36% less than a man in her pension. And she's statistically likely to live longer. And so why does that happen? Well, that happens usually because of the gender pay gap. So the gender pay gap is a gap between men and women

for a few different reasons. One, that most people use the type of job that women typically do. And a lot of work is tried to be done to bring women into the higher paying industry, such as STEM and, you know, the different tech roles and actually move up through management and stuff. Lots of women do take breaks in career when it comes to having children, which can kind of set you back in terms of earnings. And if you return, you tend to, you might come back part-time, especially if you're the lower end in the family. And quite frankly, because there's a load of sexist bosses that do not promote women. And so like that bit's never, can't be proven, but there's this general feeling that women aren't promoted. They're not promoted to the senior roles. And even if they're not paid, they're not

paid the equivalent of the man. So all this, whilst there's a salary level to it a percentage of our salary tends typically to be paid into our pension so there's this massive gap because women earn less are out of the workplace uh versus versus a man typically and so if you have a heterosexual relationship we've got a man and a woman this is is where this gap comes in. The added thing is, dependent on your employer, if you're on maternity leave, if you are not paid full pay, you may not be paying your bit into your pension because you're being paid less. Some employers top up, some don't, so you have to have a look at it. But if you are not earning a full wage, then the percentage of your salary that's going in is less. And so there's this really weird phenomenon that for couples, and she says husbands, this is married couple we're talking about, during the years that she, or the

year that she's having off at a time, off with the baby, not like off having a laugh, there's less money going into her pension. And so what we try and support couples to do is to plan ahead as much as you can for this time. Even if money is tight, look at what the gap is and decide as a couple to spend the couple's money, the household money, not his money, but their money into the pension. And because by doing that, one, you are recognising her value as that would typically be going in and she's having to have time off to look after the baby and so let's put it in. But secondly, as a couple, you're growing your net worth. And so this idea that don't worry, I've got a pension love

is absolute bullshit and it needs to be stamped out. That's true because then it's not like he's saying no we'll top up your bit into mine and then we'll share it after. Actually they're both at a loss effectively because if she was topping hers up together their net worth would increase

and their assets would 100% he benefits from it. Because they're missing out on the free money as well that she would get from the top up. From the government top up.

Exactly. So the household suffers, but more importantly, we have to start representing the fact that it's important that a woman builds her own pension. And as a couple, you do well out of it. What also happens a lot later on is, one, banking on a pension is just really, really stressful. Firstly, if you're not married, you are not legally entitled to a partner's pension and you know we've seen

scenarios where people are banking on that and then a separation happens or even a death happens and if you're not married literally not entitled to it um you can and a big thing about pensions is you can nominate who it goes to it doesn't have to be um like your partner or your family like you can literally write down. And so like your married partner. So if you, it's on your expression of wish form and in your life insurance, but also in your pension. So have a little look at that.

But relying on, what if the pension doesn't come to fruition? How do you know, even though it's in a reliable place? Is it going to perform? Is it going to be worthless? Will you want to fight for half the pension when you don't know what's going to happen in your life as well? Because some people do walk away from it. They've promised it and then they go, do you know what, I'm going to walk away

because I want the house or I want the holiday home or I want this, that and the other and then it doesn't actually turn into anything of much value and you've kind of handed it over. And you've been there on, so we've got two different Matley stories where pre-financial, my husband and I elected to pay extra into my into my pension I had a really poor maternity leave policy it was worse with my second child than it was with my first um and it

meant that less money was going into my pension and so we worked out the difference like I said very privileged that we were planning for the pregnancy we We'd saved up a lot of money for it. We prepared and paid it like a bill. And you can do that. You can literally set up, it doesn't have to be into your work one. You can set up in the UK, self-invested personal pension. You could do it in other countries as well to your one of choice

and pay it like a bill. Holly didn't do that. Now I'd had that baby after you but it wasn't thought both maternity leaves as well I think the biggest thing is like planning ahead but obviously if you don't plan to have a baby then you can't plan ahead

so that sometimes scupper plans for planning how you're going to manage the finances but you'll tend to know like far out because it takes nine months to grow a baby plus so you've got time to kind of think and plan but wasn't even on my radar didn't even think about my pension didn't think about things like child care vouchers during that time sometimes employers will still contribute so that's something you need to go and look at and they'll still be like accruing in the background and you don't

have to make any contributions but if you've been claiming them all the time then you can sometimes get those you really need to go and speak to your HR person ask them what what's going on when you're on maternity leave what are the things I need to consider um hopefully they'll be up to date but um yeah your employees should be looking out for your financial wellness and I think there's going to be a lot more done about this with employers and looking after people's financial wellness especially that of women because we're behind in so many areas and you're the one that kind of takes the hit on maternity leave so have a chat to about it

I think the big thing is it's like not can you pay into mine but just like I will be earning less during maternity leave and is the money for me to be able to

do the things that you can do like just making sure that time is really equal it's the language isn't it because you said then oh I will be earning less it's like we as a family

will be shorter than other months and our pensions like you can start because you said then oh I will be earning less it's like we as a family will be shorter than other months and our pensions like you can start if you reframe the language it's not a you and me you versus me

it's like us together we'll miss out financially if we don't do these things yeah and like just as a lot of stuff needs to be bought we're going by the buggy we're going by this

we're going by that lots of there's lots of money being spent so even if it's tight I guarantee you you'll find it this might not be a lot but it's part of it is the fact that it's the financial impact part of it's the principle yes the absolute principle that why should my investments take a hit because i'm the one um on maternity leave looking after our child yeah so the language aggressive language is what you need

solves everything draw circles our family our pensions it works wonders and then we need a blow dry yeah

every week for our mental health okay it probably works so far we can try it I'll come with you I'll be your backup

hype man she needs it okay any final words it's sunny outside so you don't need your brally anymore should we go

and get my receipt you made money today I didn't even get my receipt you've made money okay that's all for this episode the vault is now closed just a quick disclaimer the vault is just a chat around life and money topics and we are not giving financial advice