The Vault with Financielle - "I Feel Behind With Money Compared To My Family & Friends” | The Vault Episode 41

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

Send us a textIn Episode 41 of The Vault, we discuss this week’s controversial opinion, “You shouldn’t have a personal trainer if you’re in debt”, before diving into our listener dilemmas:��� “Should I ditch luxuries while paying off debt?”💸 “I feel so behind compared to my family and friends”We celebrate a listener who, after dealing with some serious debt and living paycheck to paycheck, has managed to create a £500 sinking fund and an emergency fund, all while staying committed to budgeting and spending below their means 😍🎉If you’d like to share your money win, head to the community in the Financielle app or email [e-mail] your (totally anonymous) money dilemmas to [e-mail] and we may feature yours on a future episode 💌Thank you to our partner PensionBee, who are on a mission to help you build pension confidence and create a world where everyone can enjoy a happy retirement. With PensionBee you can combine, contribute and withdraw online. Join over 260,000 customers saving with PensionBee. When investing, your capital is at risk.Sign up and combine your pensions here 🐝Start building your investing routine with Trading 212’s Autoinvest feature here 💸When investing, your capital is at risk. Pies & Autoinvest is an execution-only service, not investment advice or portfolio management. Automatic investing refers to executing scheduled deposits. You are responsible for all investment and rebalancing decisions. This information is not investment advice. Do your own research.As a Vault listener, you can get a whopping 25% off our digital course, The Money Playbook.This is a step by step guide to being financially well. It has 101 lessons where you'll learn how to budget, ditch debt, build savings and grow wealth. Use this offer code at checkout: VAULTChapters:00:00 Introduction00:47 Hair Woes and Crime Scene Fears07:47 Holiday Traditions and Festivities12:11 Financial Advice and Personal Trainers23:38 Hairdresser Hilarity: Community Stories26:20 The Cost of Beauty: Financial Realities28:49 Sinking Funds and Emergency Savings36:02 Navigating Life's Challenges: Advice and ReflectionsThe Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Oh hey, Laura here. I'm just starting off this episode of The Vault to tell you about the Money Playbook. I used to be terrible with money, designer shoes, fancy meals, all on credit. But everything changed when I realized I needed to take control of my money. That's why I created the Money Playbook, a step-by-step guide to help you take control of your money, ditch the overwhelm, and create a solid plan for your future self. With three stages, survive, build and grow, the playbook walks you through everything from paying off debt to building wealth. Start your journey today by grabbing the money playbook for 25% off with

the code VAULT. Check out the link in the podcast description. I promise you won't look back now let's get to the episode i've got hair on my microphone which is very oh your dna is everywhere i always get scared my hair falls sorry i'm just gonna put it on the floor um it's probably covered in this chair anyway but i always get so scared because my hair falls out so easily and i'm like if i walk past a crime scene did you say that to me what if i literally said, I think her hair had fallen out or something. She was like, I always get scared. I'm going to get framed.

Yeah. For when I murder. Yeah, no, it wasn't that. It was like, I get framed and it was just here. Yeah, and I was like, oh no, I've just got anemia. My hair falls out. I've just got weak follicles. Did you have your advent calendar chocolate?

I did. I've got a coffee one. Oh. Yeah, like Nespresso pods. Oh, they make coffee chocolate. I I did. I've got a coffee one. Oh. Yeah, like Nespresso pugs. Oh, they make coffee chocolate. I was like, I'm just not confident on the chocolate.

Chocolate shouldn't be anything else but chocolate. When people put like champagne truffles, coffee chocolate, like stop pratting around. Yeah. The whiskey chocolate,

stop it. I do like the pink champagne truffles. I've got a box, you can have it at home. Really? Yeah. I opened it like six months ago though i had one and then i was like like white yeah just fine just scratch it off the

posh brand whatever it's called yeah that one is it champagne i've never had them i'm the same like i'd rather just have a bar of dairy milk so i'm not a good like chocolate advent calendar person so i'll just eat it all oh really really? No, you can't go ahead. Yeah I know. You can go back. We used to go to my nan's and she'd be like, you've not been for two weeks, 14 chocolates. I save it up, I'm not coming purposely so I can just like... In credit. Because if it's one day it's a little square but if you have 14 it's maybe half a bar. Did you do that when you were younger? Not when I was younger because I would have got showered at but like last week but I kind of work out

and I'm like well I won't be here on the 14th oh so do we so I have the 14th and then I'm like it was only three days until then I could never that's really bad

have you ever done it where you make it look like you've not opened it so you put the door back yeah am I just one at your own at yours

I saw at some of Alex's last year did you ask no oh god if Neil did that to me like

I swear I know if Alex did that to me that would be the big violence you ate my chocolate I know yeah I know I can hear

do you know like people rummaging in the fridge and you know you've eaten something you're like I'll wait till they come back in did you eat yeah yes I did

I was gaslighted take me away you need a secret eaters camera in the fridge I'll wait till they come back in. Did you eat? Yeah. Yes, I did. I was gaslighting. Take me away. You need a secret eaters camera in the fridge. I need that. Yeah, like a ring doorbell button in your fridge. Yeah, and it goes through to Neil. Why are you eating? Why are you doing?

Honestly, when it was Halloween, I remember having like, for the two days after Halloween, I didn't eat real food. I didn't have meals I had the thing that I thought the children had enough of

although they you know they can't have all this sugar so I will have it save their health couldn't fall asleep I think one of my kids was being a bit of shit

and when he went to bed I was like I'm eating some of the Halloween treats and I was like I'm not gonna have his because he was really good but I am gonna have

I swear to god I did I was like you told them so I mean I mean and then I and then the day after it was woody spoiler alert and it was like do you know the chocolate coin so it's like in a bag like a netted bag the pumpkins the pumpkins he really liked them well I didn't know that and then so I opened them and then like two days later he opened them

he was like some they're open and I just he really liked them yeah I was really honest I just went yeah mummy open them

you even confessed I did I can't lie I would lie the really weird thing is I'll be sent to flossing because you've got the dance obviously but also your teeth oh I think my teeth because Woody keeps asking me The only weird thing is I'll be sent to I'll be sent to floss in because she's

we've got the dance obviously but also your teeth Oh I think my teeth because Woody keeps asking me for floss No because she said would you like one Woody

and he's like yeah and I'm like oh we're going out the house so you can have one later can Teddy have one too yeah so we'll be sending some flossers to your house

because Flossers? So there's little plastic ones that I'm sticking Oh yeah yeah It looked like a toy I was like

I love that you want to floss book that's why and it was after the chocolate chat oh yeah oh god sorry

that's the only appealing thing about children for me like going trick or treating okay so I'm booking you in for next year then because

I will my toddler cried all the way around when they went out I'll be there with my basket as well where we lived it was absolutely I'm talking hundreds of kids. And the poor people that live on this estate will, no one lives on that estate.

I swear to God, everyone comes from other bits of culture. You can hit a lot of houses in a small square mile area. So people drive and park up. We drove. We drove. We're the problem yeah no we did but that is so interesting

on the advent calendar thing yeah I can't have chocolate ones so I can have like my coffee one because I'm not going to eat 24 coffees what about these beauty ones

ooh well some good bargains to be had there is but they're so expensive mum bought me and laura one last year do you remember the space nk one and i am still riding on it like i swear to god i still get joy out of it there's still stuff left over and i still read the brochure and i've got all the boxes

laura the day after literally ripped all the boxes up and put them in the bin and recycling and me and mom were like what you did what like you're not displaying it no yeah exactly and then it's like playing shop but I divided them up in my makeup and skincare drawer into it was just the day this is face this is feet this is hands this is makeup like so getting put away it was the day after it was literally like there was like we don't have boxes in our house my thing with that I would open them all to see what was in there. That's what I opened them all. She gave us it as a gift, not for Advent.

We actually got it on Christmas Day as a gift. Oh, that's good. Which was quite fun, actually. Yeah, that's lovely. I got 25 gifts in one day. I think it's a really good present.

I don't know if I'd have done it so that might have tested me one day at a time. Oh no, mate, I probably would have looked, yeah. You're right. It's the chocolate thing that I think it's from childhood

that it's like, you're not going to have. Imagine if you knew you could have colour wow 20 days that's true I'm going in on medicaid people know what's in them because of everyone on social media will have shared but you can get some super bargains yes but is there a pressure on parents or on families to buy like yeah, advent calendars got really bougie. Like I was looking before Christmas and... It's a way to get more money out of us. Yeah, there was like a Cadbury's basic one.

I think it was £2.50 maybe. There used to be a pound, I remember. And then there was like the one that I wanted was £12.50. Like a chocolate one. It's like eggs though, isn't it? I'd rather buy 12 bars of chocolate. Literally, I would rather eat that. It was a Terry's one, I isn't it i'd rather buy 12 bars of chocolate literally i would rather it was a terry's one i think and i'd rather buy joe at school we used to have very nostalgic

but like the fabric ones where there's a pocket and every day they pick a different child i would rather do that and get a full size bar yeah for less than 12 it doesn't make sense it's weird it's expensive and so like if you if you and the christmas eve boxes But when we tell people about when you're planning for your Christmas, and I know everyone's probably had their last paid day before Christmas now, what used to be buying Christmas presents in the festive period has extended to, and we do some of this, and i think it's about picking the bits that you like but not feeling gingerbread house making and bait and uh christmas pajamas christmas eve boxes and we make christmas decorations every year in a pottery place it's that but then things like

um christmas markets yeah i love christmas i can't cope do you like do you do christmas markets no i can't be bothered and then I think my kids won't like it they're at like groin level yeah I can't see anything I can't see anything

I'm like oh look at that macrame shop look at that pottery stall and my kids are just looking at everyone's groins

because they can't see anything and they're just squished in like sardines and I wonder why all these kids are crying walking around the Christmas market I always think why are people taking prams I'm tripping over the poor kids yeah just think about it like just think do your kids want to go I get going as a group of girls or with your partner a good tip is actually especially like some of the city ones is go on a lunchtime yeah and go go early I'm going the outskirt ones

in Manchester they've got the central one ones I'm like I remember when it used to not be a city ones is go on a lunchtime yeah and go go early i'm going the outskirt ones in manchester they've got the central one ones i'm like i remember when it used to not be a massive thing and i we were like one of the first to go and then like within a year it was like everybody goes to christmas markets and it's just turned into i don't know gives me the ick a bit it's not a novelty now is it it's like it's just to be seen it's to put on instagram it's very expensive yeah so expensive as well like you get a little thing of little pancakes yeah it's like 12 pounds i'm just about to say it's like 12 quid for little pancakes i don't know like you're paying obviously for the experience and stuff but i think it's picking it's like it's not being guilt trip i

think when you when your kids are young as well you kind of go a bit crazy because you're trying to work out and now we've stuck to like certain traditions so like they like doing the Christmas tree decoration things Holly likes them doing the Christmas tree decorations well no I don't it's actually very stressful

because they do like it ends up brown so do you know what I mean when they were babies it was great because the woman was like oh let's make a tree

out of the hands yeah they've got no control it's so cute so if you look at our Christmas decorations age one to three are divine and then from four onwards

chaos shit show a shit show. Absolute shit show. We've got brown decorations. And so they're going in the back of the house. You've got a brown tree this year. No, we're going like brown, yellow, blue. Like they're mixing all the colours. I think we'll bop that one on the head soon.

Maybe next year we won't do that. We've got a Christmas market tradition. Go on. Every 1st of December, we call it brat first are we going to have a brat first on the first of december did you enjoy it every year we do hot dog i love a brat worse i love the hot dogs like it's dangerous that they're only a walk away from my house because i'll be like you're gonna get a brat worse you're just gonna have a snack you've got a good eating out budget

for December yeah and then I think people in the community a few months ago were like saving up for the January sinking fund

which I loved yeah I love that so not being not being miserable in January I've got a small January sinking fund just like

just extra little treats we're not being miserable we're going eating out eating out you will get 50 off deals left right and center in january go and enjoy yourself for half the price like do not scrimp and be miserable and stay in because the weather's rubbish and it gets dark and people so sad in january because it's called the long month like because you got paid generally

before christmas your employer sometimes pays you before christmas yeah and it can be tiny like if you're on a debt-free journey it might just be that there's one meal out at the end of the month and you look forward to it. Or a takeaway. Exactly. It doesn't have to be completely bougie, but yeah, giving yourself a bit of grace in January is a cool thing to do.

Did anyone, I know we'll obviously have Christmas decorations, but I always think about when everyone gets their Christmas decorations out and they put the cash in the Christmas tree box, or the decorations box for the next year. Yeah, where it gives them a takeaway. I always think every year, and I go, I will forget. I will not know. It will get lost, or the house will set on fire.

I'll lose that 50 grand, and I'll be fuming. Surely this is just the sinking fund. It is, but it's like, oh, I forgot. I put 50 pounds of cash in the Christmas tree box. I'll rip a box up, and it'll go in the bin. Put it on the fire. Your house, it'll definitely be gone. Put it on the fire.

Welcome to The Vault with Finance Child. This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics off limits. Hello. Hello. I'm going to go straight into the controversial opinion today. You shouldn't have a personal trainer if you're in debt.

Yeah, you shouldn't. No, you shouldn't. What if I have never been to the gym? I want to start my fitness journey. I'm so inspired. But I don't know what to do. Get an Instagram hon. YouTube, Instagram,

friends that know what they're doing get out couch 5k app is really good just to get out and start your fitness journey you do not need a personal trainer it would be lovely yes it would be helpful it will help keep you accountable there's some amazing ones yes it's not for you right now and you know depending on your debt-free journey that might be a short amount of time before it can go back in budget but what we do is we can convince ourselves of anything and personal trainers firstly they're paid properly because they should be paid properly are quite expensive it's a skill isn't it yeah exactly and um but we might tell ourselves I'm not going to do it but if I get a personal trainer I'll do it yes and the accountability does work by the way that is like

something that people pay for and it's effective um but if you're starting off on a fitness journey you don't really need much advance anyway practically walking and doing really simple stuff will get you going and get you started and so to say I need a personal trainer but I've got this like kind of like debt over here it's so much more expensive it's not like I've got like this we debate sometimes around gym memberships don't we about should you if you're on a debt-free journey and you walk in through your expenses where can you cut things for some people actually the gym is social it's a mental health benefit it is accountability and so it's a little bit of pain because you're paying that and you're like I've paid for it I should go and we do want people to be fit and well and so there's a it's all about relativity

but if you are paying for a personal trainer and you're paying them properly that's going to be a big fee in your budget you have to like is it me or them like literally you're going to pay yourself that 75 pounds to get rid of your debt or you're going to pay somebody else and like Laura said it's a skill set and it's a really good thing to keep accountable but there are ways to stay accountable you can start a whatsapp group with your friends you can join a running club for free you can do park run on a Saturday like there's so much you can do now that's one thing i would say you cannot get away like back in the day you had to go to a gym to be fit or you had to get do you remember the like dvds workout dvds i remember like vicky pattinson

doing one i had a tower you used to have like before and after pictures of like girls did one like we've all seen them divina like go to a child shop get you probably don't even have a dvd player um so dvd player is oh my god i think i asked my kids the other day do you know what this is nope never but when you because often you would go you have to pay for gym membership as well like if it's a pt at a particular gym you then double in got whereas actually if you are paying a gym membership you could at least do classes and stuff and make it an aspirational thing so i would like to when i'm debt free that's going back in my budget you know it there's nothing wrong it'll just slow you down because if this is a mental thing right if you convince yourself that to be fit and well i need

a personal trainer i it's a want not a need because you can get fit without a personal trainer so then you'll convince yourself anything I need to pay for meal prep because I busy I'm busy and I'm it's cheaper it's not when you do the maths but you'll say it's cheaper and so then that's another thing and you know I need my nails doing because they're really weak and they don't look good without it and I need it for work we can convince ourselves of anything and so sometimes by just going actually I'm going to cut everything I'm focusing on this it'll happen much quicker if I pull back on some stuff and I pay off this debt because then when you are debt-free like I don't know about you but I'm so picky about what my spent what i spend my money on now i sit much longer on the thought of do i want to pay for this gym membership every

month do i want to commit to this like i really think about where i want to spend my money much more so if you take it away it's harder like sometimes you get yeah you have to spend will you make the bloody decision it's a 10 pound decision laura always says that to me i'll oh i'll go what do you and she's like this is a if you split it out literally like you've split it out it's a 10 pound decision get a grip whereas you know removing it while you're on a debt-free journey you really then get to grips of what's important to put back in so yeah or just do bridesmaids where they're like there's this group session in the park oh yeah you're behind the background giving it giving the sit-ups do you remember that scene I do remember that scene and I and I feel like

that's the that's what we're talking about that's a hack if you're a personal trainer listen to this like I want you to have lots of money and to run a successful business um but actually if you have someone that has a really good um excess and they're really financially well they're going to be a long-term client for you it's not just one that's booking you for a fad because again it won't last because it'll it's it's because you've said it's like i don't need it to get fit it's like impulsive that impulsive you can just tell when someone's an impulsive spender because there's always a new trend and a new fad and a new thing that they're tackling in their life be boring like me like cheap yeah we're interrupting this pod to deliver a public service announcement tackling in their life. Be boring like me. Like, just don't do anything. Cheap. Yeah.

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to get started. Well, this moves us nicely onto our first dilemma. Should I ditch luxuries while paying off debt? How do you feel about haircuts and maintenance? I'm trying to pay off my debt and looking to cut down on my spending to achieve my goals I've stopped getting my hair dyed because of the cost but living in central Manchester are you going to the crystal markets but living in central Manchester my haircuts cost 75 pounds for a cut and a blow dry so not even a color no that's just a cut and a blow dry. So not even a colour? No, that's just a cut and a blow dry. I've already reduced my other maintenance,

like nails and facials, to a complete minimum until I pay off my debt. But cutting my hair isn't something I can avoid. I don't want to cheat on my hairdresser. And I'm nervous. Rob in there. This is such a female thing. We've all been there.

It's so stressful. This keeps us up at night, guys, just so you know. Any guys that are listening, this is like proper. This is a proper dilemma. They're like, oh, there's a barber's there. I'll just go in. I'll just pop in. What?

I would die. You would what? I don't want to cheat on my hairdresser and I'm nervous to go somewhere else. We're laughing because we know this feeling. I'm nervous to go somewhere else. We're laughing because we know what it's feeling like. I'm nervous to go somewhere else in case they ruin my hair. I feel like £75 is a huge expense for what it is, but my friends in the city say it's pretty standard these days.

What are your thoughts or recommendations on keeping this luxury while on a journey to be debt-free? She's doing the right thing, like working through the... Yeah, questioning her decisions questioning she's already given up some stuff and I love how she's preempted us saying we'll go somewhere else

I know because she's like and that would be really difficult that is not an option that is expensive tell you what you are in

central Manchester get a bus out of central Manchester like you will drop 30 quid just by getting on the bus to like Stockport or I don't know,

like outside the M60. Just get on a bus or a train and I swear to God it will drop by 30 quid. Oh no, it definitely will. She just doesn't want

to cheat on her hairdresser. And I won't cheat, we won't cheat on our hairdresser. We have the same one. We wouldn't. So this is not advice in that respect, but you've got to leave

your hairdresser. We have options. So she has options where she doesn't go for haircuts. So there's an option there where you don't get your hair cut. And obviously that is stressful for people that need, if you've got a cut that needs maintenance, it goes out. If you've got a bob, I feel your pain.

Longer is a bit easier to handle. So you've got, I don't do it at all. You have go to another one, which I think for a period of time, it's not the end of the world. I think sometimes we work ourselves up to the fact that you can't leave a hairdresser i think if you're going somewhere for color different that's risky but cut yeah i agree because hair grows but where you can damage your hair like if you don't go to someone that looks

after your hair with your color yeah bad times so little cut recommendations again like if you live in central manchester now where was home and and you can kind of make excuses as well be like oh i got it done while i was home just you're probably like one of a million clients we are we've said this before we are the main character but we actually are in our head you have the best time another option though is chat to your hairdresser if she is this queen that you're saying she is having an honest conversation with her about look i'm on this debt-free journey i've cut back on all the things i really don't want to cut back on my hair but it's it's it's expensive can i'm gonna start stretching my time between appointments so that's one thing or can i not get the blow dry yeah or can i come in with my hair wet like i've seen people do that yeah so many times but ask her

about it yeah she might say do you know what we've got like a student night where I will supervise but it's going to be an apprentice hairdresser yes I I think I would do that with our hairdresser I would say Mandit I was just going to say can you help me out because this is for a period of time yeah I don't want to cut I don't want leave, I don't want to leave as a client. Like, I want to stay. So what can we do? And I think a good business person

and hairdresser will go, they won't like if you're like free and stuff. No, you're not asking for it either. They'll give you the options that you have, which could be, like I said, could be apprenticeship,

could be stretching out time between appointments. And it could be having less, like, because their time costs money. So it's like, you just come in for the cut. We could it dry because i your general haircut time is going to be between like six to eight weeks and 75 pounds stretched over it's effectively stretched over two budgets so it's actually a 30 odd pound decision that you're making do you know but you are so when you go to

like put yourself into the position of the hairdresser here when you're going to one in central Manchester their costs so it's that's why it's more expensive in someone's in the central Manchester

versus someone's house because you've got bills to pay rent to pay staff to pay it all adds up and so they're probably not making

more than the hairdresser in the village or the hairdresser that works from home the margin will be like the revenue will be the same but they've got all their costs and so that's why it costs that and so she's not like trying to make a big margin on you i'm sure some of them do don't get me wrong but it's i'm just like do you remember months ago in the community where the woman i don't remember you both laughing do you know what they're laughing at it was like i decided to start getting my hair cut at home

all the hairdressers in the community and they're all like no no she went to someone's i think she went to the person's house didn't she also yeah she was like did she wash my hair in the sink and they were like how fast do we have to get in the sink oh my god I was going to say that was a sink oh my god the things you do for a debt free journey do you remember

yeah I think I know it was as well like please message us in and we could pick it back up it was so funny I thought you meant

when because it was some of them were saying oh I'm going to do box dye and the hairdressers in fact I think they messaged to us. They were like, just tell them not to.

There were people in the community being like, I want to dye my own hair, I'd save money. And then literally all the hairdressers circumvented the community coming to me and Laura and being like, guys, we're not doing this to make more money, but these box dyes are really bad and they can damage your hair. And if you're not doing it correctly, like it can really damage you. Like for the long term, it's going to cost them more. And we're like, oh, do we have to go back in the community and be like put the box dies down it was so funny wasn't it when she was like yeah i went to a hairdresser who did it at home and to save money and i've just bent over the sink to wash my hair and there's like spaghetti in the drainer but again like you know hairdressers know their stuff and like you know

we again we have someone on debt-free journey like yeah they they will empathize it's the same with color i think you've said this before they say having practical conversations about manageable um hair so whether it's the balayage whether it's like what they call it with the root when it's like root smudge there we go and then you name for it all the time but these i've seen um more recently you know some like some really good like gray blending apparently that's a big bigger bigger thing so as people are getting more gray hairs what especially if they're blonde what can you do sympathetically which will not mean you have to get your gray roots done all the time but you can have a hair dye and a cut that's really like sympathetic to the greys and complementary to the greys and that's big because you know if you don't want you want to

cover up your grey hairs you have to keep going back to the hairdresser I am locked in for life like because of my hair so dark I'm locked in yeah forever like just take the money yeah I pay up front yeah for life five years for life it's like a life insurance against my hair is it cheaper to pay up front because I just my greys are coming through I love that the

industry are like embracing grey a little bit more now but it is really hard when you've got dark hair and you've just got like a strip of grey roots so that's when

people want to keep up with hair colour and it's like it becomes this is why this is why getting your money shit together

is really important because to be a female, especially an aging female, it costs money. If you think about some of the skin regimes that young, young girls are embracing, I would like to think that by the time you're in your 30s and your 40s and you've got your money together, you can spend on anti-aging treatments and be able to look after your appearance and stuff the idea that girls in the early 20s have to do that right now you know with like this glass skin vibe it's great yeah it's super crazy but it's kind of this like accepted minimum that we all have to do and so it is tough it is that this is the the hidden tax of being a female that we talked about it's not because honestly it isn't because we all love doing it don't we sometimes it's nice but it's because it's kind of accepted that that's just what it costs um we don't just pop into any old barbers no and you're there it's a big time's a big thing like minimum two and a half hours isn't it like yeah it's a long time big commitment i

would say like ask for a breakdown because like obviously you're not getting it dyed but when you get it dyed it's like okay you're getting it bleached or like colored or whatever and then i don't know if this is just a bleaching you get a toner and then like you get your olaplex in case because your hair's gonna be damaged from like overlapping bleach yeah like there's a lot of more things like oh you're getting a treatment that you can take out yeah you can do that and because i remember yeah my our hairdresser said oh should we do all plexus time or not yeah there's options don't just take it as a given which is like you have to pay for everything and again i just think that chat means she gets to keep you as a customer yeah you're going with like i want to stay what can we do anywhere else yeah and that's the mental

load of finance as well and I get it if you've got a good hairdresser but there's nothing worse than not feeling like you're overpaying because she's not saying that

but handing over that money when money's an issue yeah yeah and you've already cut out so much like you've foregone

the facials and the nails you've gone to the last possible thing but I think haircuts like you say you can definitely stretch haircuts out

much more than you can colour you can ask if you can go in with wet hair and go out with wet hair blow dry when you get home I've done that yeah loads of people do I've seen it it's not anything to be like bothered about just ask the question and like mentally it's for a period of time yeah explain what you're doing yeah you'll be able to you can walk in there go I'm getting a full head of highlights. Okay I've got a good community win this week. A month ago I posted for the first time about the fact that I had overdrafts on two accounts and an Amex that I was relying on heavily to get me out to get me through to every

payday. I had zero pounds in savings along with 4.5k in credit card debt. I'm proud to say that after a really really hard month of spending below my means and not dipping back into my overdraft I've got 500 pounds in sinking funds and an ever-growing emergency fund. I can't wait to reach one month of expenses saved and start chipping away at my debt. I couldn't have done it without the financial app or this community. Wow I don't know how long she's been doing it for. She said she posted for the first time, I don't know if... A month ago, yeah. If she's just done financial for the month.

She's on her way. But she's on it. So she's working the emergency fund, so she needs one month's expenses, and she's already started to build up sinking funds. We were talking about sinking funds this morning, actually, about the pain's the first time. It's about getting ahead to a sinking fund you know you're building up pots of money for planned expenses and sometimes you're doing it whilst

making the monthly payment so for example let's say you're doing it for car insurance and you need to save up 500 pounds a year for um let's do 600 for ease and it's 50 pound a month so sometimes you're paying your car insurance monthly and you're saving up for being able to pay in advance whilst also trying to save up for an emergency fund whilst also then trying to overpay your debt. So it's really, so that's why we say start with lean sinking funds first. Like don't have a really big bougie travel one.

Don't have a big bougie beauty one. Like make sure that for the absolute planned expenses, pretend that it's like the minimum that you're going to need. And it's tough that first time,'re going to need and it's tough that first time but then when you use it especially if you've

been like an impulsive spender or something there's not much instant gratification to a sinking fund but only when you like deploy the

sinking fund do you get the much bigger dopamine hit than you ever get on an impulse purchase because you get the thing

and it's free yeah it's for free but I like it's the yeah it's for free but I like it's the I always vividly remember this feeling of

I feel like I put my big girl pants on that I'd saved up in advance for something because I hated doing the saving when I was putting some money aside

for car insurance there is no gratification for that it's nice it's nice to build up and I think the total of all of them like if you do if you use pots functionality you bank it totals our spaces and like it's great it feels gamified

because you can put a picture on and all that stuff all those shallow things that us humans need like to make it real but that can give you a little bit of a boost but only when you deploy sinking fun do you get that grat you get that dopamine hit that gratification but it's that first time and so if you if you're doing that like the wind will come the wind will come and it'll feel amazing but it'll feel rubbish initially when you're having to put you'd rather spend that money or save it even or pay it off your debt like you're giddy about using the money and you don't like putting it there but it will come up so the fact that you don't do that so quickly yeah it's good and the financial community at the moment a lot of new people keep coming in and they're like asking the question about should

i do my emergency fund yet i'll pay off my debt and it feels so counterintuitive but we'd never have to message back like i start to message and i just see ping ping ping ping people messaging like no no do your emergency fund you'll be grateful for it because something will come up and you'll have to then put build the credit back up again so i like the reminder of she she knows she's got all the debt but in the background she's like i'm well on my way to getting my emergency fund yeah and so what i also advise people to do when we're looking at sinking funds is keep them super lean definitely do these ones that are annual expenses because sometimes you get a discount if you pay up front for them um but like i had when you're advanced on your journey you've got really good emergency. You should also have things like car maintenance fund

and you should also have like a house maintenance fund because if you need the gutters sorted or if the boiler breaks or if the car accident happens on the car and you need money, those funds are really important to have. But when you're early in your journey, you can use your emergency fund for those. So I always say keep your sinking funds list tight, really, really lean for that. If you're going to be spending on a holiday do it if you're going to

be buying stuff at christmas do the christmas one if you're going to be paying for insurances pay for the insurances one for the maintenance ones i usually if you if you want to be super quick i say don't worry about them i'll make make them small and nominal and get used to putting money in them but you that's why your emergency fund is really important once you have got a really good emergency fund it's actually nicer than up the others as well and then because of when you when you save up a really good emergency fund you never want to touch it ever like you're like you would rather sell your children and touch your nice you know like let's use a creative blanket that's when the other sinking funds come in so that's just a quick tip I had to use kicking each other

on the table I had to use my emergency fund oh go on for the dentist oh for the dentist yes well done

and I'm sorry I've got a normal dentist sinking fund but it was actually a dental emergency yes and I didn't want to touch that

like that stage did you not use any of these dental sinking funds no because I don't want to see that like that did you not use any of these dentals no because I don't want to see that get empty because I've got a normal dentist appointment in like a few weeks so that's how you're planning on to use that next time you go to yeah I've got that for like my I don't want to say this out loud to make it a reality but my teeth are weak I assume that I will need it's true I will assume that I need like three fillings a year and that's how I like work out

how much I need in my single fund dip into that because you know you're going to use it so use the emergency fund for an emergency and this is what it was well done imagine if you didn't have your emergency fund and you get to the dentist and the idea for me

that someone wouldn't go because they're worried about the cost yeah it's just so stressful to me like you see teeth it's just you've got to look after them and the pain yeah it was so I kind of got off the phone out of a panic and I was like I'm so glad that I could just book that appointment and it wasn't like how much will it cost and yeah because how many people do you reckon ring up a dentist and like I've got a problem how much is it I can't do it yeah i'll just live with the pain or whatever it might be i'm sure i saw someone on instagram the other day saying that they'd been for an emergency appointment and i think it was over a thousand pounds for the treatment then

they had to go back the day after and it was going to be like 900 pounds yeah jesus it's so astronomical it's crazy yeah but the teeth like you have to pay for the actual emergency appointment as well. Yeah, yeah. It's not nice to have, to look after your teeth. Like, it's not, like, I don't know. A dishwasher, you go, can't afford it. I'll have to wash them in my hands.

Your teeth. Yeah. However, I now will be putting more into my dental sink. I was going to ask that. Are you going to put more in? It really hurt me to use my emergency fund. Right, okay. So you're going to bolster that a little to put more in it really hurt me to use my emergency fund right okay so you're going to

bolster that a little bit yep definitely and then so let's work it through so then your next payday yeah I won't be putting much your excess will go into

the emergency fund will it okay unfortunately but then it'll be back up again yeah exactly come on teeth yeah pull yourself together

teeth hold in hold in there good job of not going chocolate advent calendar oh yeah that's actually you got the coffee one yeah coffee with a straw if you'd like to tell us your win head to the community in the app or email it to the vault at financial.com okay ladies i've got a controversial money opinion from our friends at PensionBee. Money can't buy you happiness. Agree? Disagree? Controversially, I disagree with this statement, but not for the reasons you might think. I think being financially well and being in control of your money can definitely bring you happiness. I get it. We're not talking material

goods here like mansions or flashy cars. When it comes down to it, we know that money and mental health are intrinsically linked. So it makes sense that a certain amount of money could buy you happiness. You can listen to the PensionBee team hash this controversial money opinion out on episode 30 of their Pension Confident podcast. The Pension Confident podcast is available right now, wherever you usually get your podcasts. And remember, when investing, your capital is at risk. Okay time for my next dilemma. I feel so behind compared to my family and friends. Hi girls, I'm 25 and recently divorced. I was out of employment for nine months which meant I used up all of my emergency fund but I'm now starting a new job that will definitely give me a head start in my career.

My monthly salary is £2,000 and I'm in a very privileged position where I live at home and pay no rent at the moment. However, I feel very behind compared to all my friends and family. They all seem to have their money shit together and have always seemed to be left behind. For example, when I went to uni far from home and had to use all of my student finance for housing whereas my friends and family got to use that money to save travel or buy things instead or more recently I got married and then divorced soon after and had to start my life all over again. I just want this time to be different. I want to save up for a car, rebuild my emergency fund and take advantage of that extra thousand pounds from the government by using up my LISA allowance for this tax year which means Divorce and unemployment, like, that is a heavy thing to go through. It's two big life events in a short period of time.

I'm glad you're at home. I'm glad you feel like you can grow home. Not everyone can. And that is obviously, you know, financially a good thing, but just mentally a nice thing as well. Like looking after the basics and you'll have someone else to like make you nice drinks.

I would kill to move home again. I'd save all that money as well. I think I've referenced it a lot of times on this pod to the point where Neil's probably like, go home then. But to be, like you said to for there to be an environment where you can go home focus on you be looked after running a home mental load isn't it yeah the mental load of running a house yeah and the life admin that comes with it but just to be with your family like it's such a blessing um but throwing 70 of your income to your savings and living

frugally for six months you will be fine like if you've been a student you've you know how to live frugally you'll be fine it'll be like something to focus on as well with everything that's just gone on you can set some really good goals and my first one will probably be building up your emergency fund because it sounds like that got eaten into when you're in unemployment but now you've got a job that's a nice new thing to be looking forward to let's set some goals you can do it in the app what's your emergency fund and what do you need it to be especially if you're living at home it doesn't have to necessarily be huge so you can start putting the money to other things if it's sinking funds if you wanted to save up for a car

like they're things that you might need for your job and to have a little bit of independence as well after everything that's kind of gone on you don't want to go back and feel like you've gone backwards in life which you genuinely haven't it's not linear and I think we've learned that being at financial people come to us at different ages different stages in their lives and it's not linear we don't all leave university find our dream job find a husband get married have children it just doesn't work like that so comparing yourself to other people it's just not going to do you any good like you wrote your own story your own main character yeah like this there's the in and out move home move out move home it's so common these days it's like a given yeah yeah yeah yeah it's um more for you for not doing it and you also don't

know what's going on in other people's lives you know you don't know that just because Instagram's telling you that people have got married and then stayed together and then bought a home

you know you don't know what their finances are like and and um it is really hard your 20s are really hard yeah they are

I do think everyone's on such different pages yeah do you feel like you're on like there's stages of stuff?

I just get jealousy of everyone. Because you can see everything though. When we were younger, you couldn't see everyone. All you get is a photo dump on Facebook of like 50 pictures from the night out at Walkabout. That's how you find out whether someone got shit-faced and met a person and whatever. Now we're being told everyone's stories all the time.

In real time. And half of them are from influencers who are like loaded. Or they just gifted everything. So it's the worst thing about this at the moment is it's not just someone's highlight reel. It's everyone's highlight reel. So, for example, Let's Talk. Molly May this year has been through, through yes she's been through the breakup but she's launched her a new business she's got an adorable little

girl so her highlight reel is business owner and mum and then um you might follow then her sister who has got married and who is amazing at high rocks and doing like the fitness thing and then you might also follow someone else that does something else or that's traveled let's say that someone's traveled so your consumption has seen a wedding a home a breakup that was kind of like you know moved over and we don't talk about it she's not even told us how rude of her like what happened um but like that was that was um like smoothed up what do I mean like covered over a little bit it wasn't got in it was brushed over that's right it was brushed over so you knew about it that blip

but you don't see the blip so you see oh my god how cute is it to be like a young mom of a little toddler who is absolutely adorable and oh my god isn't it nice to like launch a business and oh look at that travel and look at that wedding and her outfit was amazing oh she's she's getting fit and she's doing higher rocks and we've just amalgamated three different people's lives into this highlight reel and i think that's really hard yeah and it's just not the truth and also when she's comparing back to like uni she's still living in the past and seems to be quite bothered about what people spent their student finance on they've all got to pay it back can i just say yeah if you all took out that student finance and they might have used it for travel they might used it for going out eating

you're all going to be paying it back and they're gonna have to pay it yeah even if it's been put into savings it's like an awful interest rate so they're so you're going to compare you're actually all in the same boat yeah like yeah it's not like they've got off scot-free from this like no bit of debt that they're gonna have to pay off you're actually all in the same boat yeah like yeah it's not like they've got off scot-free from this like no bit of debt that they're gonna have to pay off you're actually all in the same boat in that respect you might end up being better off because you're going to be saving a hell of a lot more than they're going to be doing i was going to say that like i look at people who are living at home like you must be saving so much literally yeah like you just can't so you don't know her friends could be sat there thinking oh i've like

i'm 90 percent of my income like to rent a room in London. Yeah and 70% of yours is going to savings like yeah what a good position to be in. I definitely like to go Taylor Swift there's eras there's like different eras and and this is your stay at home era. What era are you in? I don't know but I need a better one. I've been draggled. Every day I get dressed and I wear the same Uniqlo leggings and I wear the same gym trainers and I wear the same socks and the same coat and I'm like hollering.

You need to show a dress. Come on. You need some sequins. Yeah. What can't you do? Get out of this like mom era. Mom era.

Yeah. There's eras and you know some of it is like when any of you become parents there's like the baby era and your mom you know mom and dad and all moms to babies and that's like don't wash like that era so you're not saying what you've got ahead of you but this is your regrouping looking after yourself and there will be a time if you set these goals that you'll be a homeowner

and there will be a time where you'll meet someone else and there will be a time. But this is your stay at home and new job era. And at that point as well, everyone's going to be like, I got married years ago. I'm so bored. Yeah.

Where's the next thing? I need so much work. She needs to, and it's like a common thing on TikTok, romanticize her new era. Definitely. I think you can romanticize a lot of things. Go on, romanticize your day your day anything i sit on the train

i'm like oh my god so nice what are you listening to out the window depends on the soundtrack of your life but like i said leaning into that she some people in like i said the grass isn't always greener we've talked about this comparison is a thief of joy someone will be looking at her going she's what she's like finding herself she's back at home again she's and then she's got this new job oh i'm bored in my job i wish i had this new exciting thing and so it just focusing on you and then there's lots of things that you want to do i think like you said holly it's super good to set some goals that are now and later yeah and start making progress on those don't give yourself a hard time in the the lifetime isa and

we i love that you love that i love that you want the grand people get so free money it's locked away so you know you could do with an emergency fund build that don't worry about the end of the tax year if you put some away this year great yeah you know on the in april you could put all of it in or whatever but don't worry about it um go through the flows go through the stages and enjoy like building up your stability again like we've had dial-up before people I don't know if you remember she the girl moved home and I think she was like I'll just end up going out and like there's no structure and she was just like her money was just flying in and out because she didn't have any responsibilities like you are being a little bit hard on yourself and I would say like enjoy

yourself as well like you've been through a hard time as long as you're building these strong financial foundations you can romanticize this life you can have a great life at home for and but don't think too far forward we're always living six months ahead and i'm really guilty of it as well like being a little bit present in your situation setting yourself some goals are great and keeps you accountable but just try and live your life like you've been through a hard time and the time's gonna pass anyway it goes so quick

and like you know the older you get you realise when people have said things to you like this is the youngest you'll ever be it might be the thinnest

you'll ever be like those jokes I was thinking about the other day what was the thing where you said to me and I was replaying it in my head is it like the golden

the golden the golden years the golden years do you know about that that what's that there's a thing there's a concept called the golden years where there's a there's a period of time where everyone that's important to you is alive and healthy and you do normal things like you might travel a little bit and you can eat in nice places and like just it's and you don't you never know when they're gonna end and it was when my mum lost her brother our uncle and it really like he was young and it um it really really impacted um them and I said this is the end of your golden years like it's it was before and after Michael that's like how they refer to things um you know when when my nan passed away a couple

of years ago what's so sad is for all of them including my nan the golden years had already ended because Michael had passed away yeah if he hadn't have been the first one that would have been the end of their golden years yeah yeah and it's where you live with grief or you live with a big health change or you know you can't do the things that you could have done and so it is she still might be in a golden so i want to say hopefully she's got a long time of golden years younger i always want to say like these are your golden years only like after the fact like i said so like a matriarch and your family dies or something like that or someone young and it shouldn't a tragedy happens or something you reflect and you're like and we could probably pinpoint when the golden years

when it's like at my nan's house and everyone's there and you you're a kid so you're not really you're not like financial worries or like relationship worries like and you just I think for some people you know we've I definitely sometimes grieve life before children like we're so lucky that we've been able to have children and we joke about them a lot on on this show but they do bring us lots of joy and but when you become a parent especially when you're like a what I mean by a full-time parent is when you don't have like even a custody thing where like they're with you all the time like you're on shift all the time i'm like what did we do before you you cannot without lots of planning and stress go away for the night or go yeah just there's loads of stuff and so there's a little bit of that which is

the time will come where you won't have well you'll have so many responsibilities yeah yeah so just enjoy it again owning a home not having to mentally run a home or find somewhere to rent or you know juggle the bills on your own like that that time so embracing this time

as this era because the seasons will change like it'll absolutely change hopefully for the better as well like there's yes there's good stuff coming as well not just like

it's gonna be shit so enjoy it now but yeah I think we all find it hard to be present don't we enjoy the area that you're in you always want something else we're always really bad at that like I'm already like oh I can't wait till the kids are a bit older so we can yeah they can I don't know like we don't

have to we could go to a night out and just like yeah fine no problem the kids can sort themselves like they're old enough but they're the only little ones so you kind of just got revert back I know they'll come a little bit as you I was thinking about this this week i don't know why but i think as you get older you become so much more content with oh actually this is life because i think when you're younger there's so many possibilities that you can romanticize that as well and you know that's why you know will you be really wealthy will you live in italy will you um i will you I can't think of what it is but will you be famous for some people

whatever it is there's so much possibility it's kind of crippling this you know and then the idea of being average oh I don't want to end up like them

or like some people say I don't want to end up like my parents like it is a really weird thing and as I've got older you know as the greys start coming and the wrinkles start coming

as like the children it's all about the children you do the greys start coming in, as the wrinkles start coming in, as like the children, it's all about the children. You do kind of get a bit more at peace with. I think it's your 30s. I saw something the other day about like your 30s are the best, like where you're just much like calmer and your 20s are a bit. You give a shit less. Your 20s are so chaotic.

You don't care about pleasing other people as much. Oh God. Lucy didn't do that anyway. No. I'm not coming okay any final words for this episode

comparison is the thief of joy oh that's a t-shirt favourite one or sign in I'm guilty of it too that's going to be my fun sign in my kitchen Lydia live, laugh, love

live, laugh, love that's all for this episode the vault is now closed just a quick disclaimer the vault is just a chat on life and money topics and we are not giving financial advice