The Vault with Financielle - “I Finally Got My Finances Together… Now I Want to Quit My Job” | The Vault Episode 114

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

We asked: what do you spend money on that your partner doesn't know about… and the confessions were immaculate 😭This week we're getting into two very different but very real money moments:💸 "I Finally Got My Finances Together. Now I Want to Quit My Job."💸 "I'm Heartbroken, In Debt, and About to Lose My Home — Where Do I Start?"Got a money win or a dilemma that's been living rent-free in your head? Share it (totally anonymously 🤫) in the Financielle app community or email [e-mail] 💌You don't have to figure this out alone. More honest money chat at financielle.com 💖💸

Welcome to The Vault with Finance Chat. This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. How are we doing today, ladies? Good morning to you, Lucy. Are we not talking? But I'm not saying good morning to my sofa companion. And I'll let her tell you why. I have caused absolute chaos with my nephew, Holly's eldest, had it this month in the Holland House.

I am really sorry about it. And this is a financial security warning to anyone with. bank accounts are investments, but basically I was sat on the couch in the house chatting to Teddy and getting him to show me his investments. Now they're on Holly's phone so she had to security it to open it up and then me and him were sat and I was showing him as a good auntie does, good rich ante. We're talking about the ups and the downs of stock market and what's been happening recently and showing how much he contributes how much it's grown. He's actually got two as well as he's got on with another one. He's still trying to still not done that.

A bit of life admin. I need to go into. branch, to Halifax, to remove, to change my address, which is what the actual problem is, I think, of why I can't, I should be able, with my current provider, be able to switch your Geyser, you can claim one and get it passed over. But it keeps failing. And I'm like, why is it failing security? And they're like, oh, I think your address for Teddy Geiser, a baby account from years ago, is still connected to my old home address. So I have to go into branch, show evidence that, oh my gosh, yeah, it's bullshit. Well, so I was showing him his, one of his ices and we were talking through it. I can't remember, this is where I'm like, if I was in court, I don't know what I'd say. I can't remember if he or I said, let's put some money in it. And he said, how much shall I do? I was like, how much can you do? And it said a thousand.

And we joked to holl and we were like, we're going to set it up. And she's like, you know, you can't, like, you're going to have to pass security. You can't just put a thousand pounds into your ice. Like, good luck. You can, you can. I said the words and it's haunted me. If you could do it, you can keep it. There's absolutely no way because it's got to, like Laura said, send you to your bank.

So you've got to open your banking app. For a transfer, but for a direct debit, you don't. So it set it up. So anyway, we left it. We didn't think it set it up. And a thousand pounds came out of all his current account to Teddy's Junior Rice. It put her into her up. So I got an email.

I got a warning that this was going to happen. I was like, oh, bollocks like I've got a direct debit confirmation. and the company, I'm not going to name them, message to be like, there's a direct debit set up, can you confirm this? Straightway, I'm like, Jesus Christ,

it actually nearly worked, ha-ha, rang with them straight away, and they were like, oh, he was laughing. He couldn't speak the guy on the phone. He was like crying laughing because he was like, I've never heard of this before.

Yes, conspired. Yeah, I've been, my son is trying to like rob me of all my wealth. And he was like, oh no, it's fine, just, I'll speak to the payments team, but it might be too late for them, but if you just go into your banking,

app and cancel the direct debit, blah, blah, blah, went it onto my banking app. There's no direct debit pending whatsoever. I've looked through. The normal ones are they get £100 for transparency into their gysers every single month. They were on there. This is a thousand pound one wasn't?

I was like, there's nothing to cancel. I've spoke to a wealthy blah blah blah. Woke up this morning. A thousand pounds has gone into Teddy's gyser. So all morning. Neil's in his boxes on the end of the bed. Woody and Teddy like flagging his head about something. He's like, I'm just trying to deal with something.

I'm just trying to sort it and then I left for work and then just checked in to be like how are you? He's like, yeah, fine. So in the overdraft you're to move money into the current account to make sure that you're not in your overdraft

you've then a thousand and a hundred's gone out because Teddy's fine because the hundred's gone out as normal and now I'm like, oh Woody needs a grand as well. I'm hoping to get it back. So you can't ask for

the brand can't do anything about it that hold the gyser, it's got to be a refund via your bank of which I think you have got legal right to request a refund on a direct debit of which they've just kind of

confirmed over, but it's turned into a bit of a... Palava. It was a test and we all failed. I was just saying like, well, this is like the biggest drama

in half. Like, it's a good job he's not being suspended from school being sent out of class. He's... He's...

Nick to Grand in front of him, his mom's face with my permission. He thinks it's hilarious. He's like, you're going to talk about what in the pod.

You're going to talk about it. Yes, Teddy we did. Like, you listen to it. He would never. But, like, that was the match you could do. Like, what if it was 10 grand? I know. Oh, my God, imagine.

Well, it wouldn't come back. I don't have, financial poor. I don't have that much money in my current account. So, actually, would have just bounced. Listen, it was still. So have the chats, educate the children. But don't show them how to transfer. Not show them how to transfer.

Lesson learned. So we'll update you next week. All the week after. All the week after that, when Holly's either, put an extra ground in wood is to even it out. Because I was actually thinking. thinking, right, so worse comes to worse, I can't get the money back. Do I just then not put into his jice for 10 months?

But then he loses out of the compound interest, I feel. No, because he'll get compound off the ground. Okay, so if worse comes to worse, you could pause it. Your monthly expenses. We're not eating next month. You could pause it. You could pause it. I honestly was thinking, if I don't get it back, I'll just not put into it for the next 10 months.

Or 12 as punishment. Okay. You can put into it. All right, as penance. They only get that. It's been Woody's birthday recently and we give cash. I wrote in the card.

You might not have read the card because he read the card. He did like it. It was a Mayer Cat one. But it, oh no, that was the cousin one. The nephew one. Yeah. I wrote in it.

P.S. how much you're going to put into your investments? Because we always do that. We always prefer giving money to the kids. Don't like it when we do toys because they get enough ties and they choose toys they want. But they might not want to put like,

can imagine like God, Auntie Laura just transfers money to our investment. account we never get it. So I'm like, you can choose. And so gave him 20 quid. That's what he gets. And it was how much. And so, but what it does is firstly, it's like, it said, do you want to wear this or this? You don't having the choice of the wardrobe. You're having A or B. It's how much are you? It's not saying will you. Yeah, or should you? How much? And what it actually triggered was also another memory for him that I don't know who else you were talking about, but someone else had given him cash. And he said,

oh, I've already got 50 and I'm going to put 50. So he got 45 or something in. and he decided to put 15 of his own accord. It was going to do 10 and then he was like, I'm going to do 15. But I knew more money when he was coming. So I was like, my mum kind of let's look that she was giving him money. So we'll have then that conversation with that money.

And then we'll have that conversation with your money. So actually, it'll probably end up investing loads. Making up the grand back. But even, I just think for anyone listening, if we get asked so often, how can I teach my children about money

and how can I provide for them for the future? And two rules with Giles. One, bottom of the list versus like your finances. So there's no point putting money into children's jices, but you are in your overdraft, you're not got emergency savings, you are high in debt. And what really really helps is,

it's a bit painful stopping putting money in your children's savings. You feel like you're letting them down as a human. You're not, but you're more incentivised to get the shit sorted quickly because the sooner you do, you then move straight back over. If you're, you need that money for a better purpose.

However, if you're not going to follow the program and if you are just going to piss money at the wall, then you might as well carry and put money in the gyrsa because why should the kid lose out? But that's one element to it, which is you sort yourself first and then you move over and you ramp up. But secondly, have one anyway because friends and family can contribute to that. And I think a lot of people are just so much more open to it nowadays. I think when you say it's that investment account rather than it being savings, there's something like quite special about it.

I've always seen, more recently in recent years, I've seen a greater response to me saying, to someone, actually do you want it in her investment account or his investment account rather than, or she'd like cash. You know, when we were that age, we were given cash if we didn't know what we wanted and we would absolutely be on the bus going to town and we'd spend it. And it was, you know, our parents didn't have savings for us because they had savings and that, you know, we were very privileged. Like, we were sorted over there.

But we actually, we didn't graduate with something. We weren't given a pot of money that had grown. We'd never tracked money growing over time. It just wasn't the done thing. There was that little child savers here and there where you put pretend money. into it. Premium bonds people used to buy, like if it's a christening or a whatever. I think we've evolved now, haven't we? We've evolved

and there's so many good junior-writer products out there where just like, Teddy, the child can get involved. Too involved. How involved do you want your child to be? We do call in the Wolf of Wall Street and he's living up for that reputation. But I saw a friend in the gym the other day and they were like, oh, my kids are so switched on when it comes to money. We've always been really open with them and honest.

And we were like to the point where they're really tight, they want to put it all into savings. And his little girl won't give her teeth to the tooth fair. because she wants to cash in the money when she needs it. So she's never actually put the tooth. So she's holding it back as currency. She's never put the tooth under the pillow because she doesn't want the money now.

She wants it later because she knows as well that he's got a change jar. And if ever she needs money, if she gets money out his change jar. And he was like, that change jar does not move because I'm putting every weekend the kids take out of it. They don't want to spend their own money. But she said he's got about 20 teeth and a thing ready to cash in. It was gold.

Who should have to take it to the bank? How much will you get for this good sir? Like putting it on the little. She sells a teeth. Well, this little girl's got, he was like, she must have 20 teeth in that box. She's going to cash in one. He went the brown and everything.

I was like, oh. No. But her mindset is, I don't need that money right now, but I'm going to need it one day and I'm going to cash in these teeth. I've never heard that in my entire life. That's hilarious. I'm going to cash in these teeth. She could have had something else.

Yeah. John one. Got a big one. Laying her out. Did you know, leave him at your dad's house to be like, with ten of please? With my first lock of hair. Listen, teeth are expensive now.

They don't want a pound. I've got friends that put 20 quid under. 20 quid tooth. Oh my God. Listen, half of the stress, guys, is finding a pound. It's having cash. I have to ask my eldest for IOUs

because she has cash and I don't. If there's a situation where you may, not saying tooth fairy, obviously the tooth fairy brings that cash. Yeah. But if there's all the situations, she's cash rich. The tooth fairy is cash rich.

Ask Ava. Window cleaner. We always do it, Ava. Have you got any money? Gardner. Have you got any money? No. Okay. This is a question that we asked our community this week.

What do you spend money on that your partner doesn't know about? Oh my God, this will be so... I can't... I don't know what people... Because I've not seen what people have said. There's an obviously like, we are the boring losers here, Holly and I, who's our husbands know everything that we spend. I feel like even if sometimes if I've got... Is there something?

There's nothing. Like sometimes if I've got spare cash and I'll get a coffee, that's the only thing. I'm trying to think of something where he actually just wouldn't know because it wouldn't ping up. Everything's joint. We always told the story before I'm at my dad. Like went to Greg's and it popped stuff on Stalin. My mom was like, why are you at Greg's? We are on a diet. We are eating healthy. We. And you have gone rogue. And I can see you've got probably, I would be like, from the amount you spent, I know you've got the Yeah, you know what you. Sausage butty meal deal.

Yeah. I do that when Alex goes to Gales. Without me. Do you guess what he's had? Chicken Caesar sandwich. Mocker cookie. I can tell it. Oh, you had syrup today.

I can tell. Oh, yeah. So we have nothing to add what to the community say. So the most popular answer was Botox. In the community it was. Yeah. Botox. I get anything beauty procedures.

Yeah. skincare makeup. I get that and I've spoke to law about this before because I was like, you can't empathise spending money on that. As a man, I can't imagine that you would be like a totally understanding of spending hundreds of pounds a month on injecting something into your face.

It would be difficult to because there's no equivalent unless they're getting Botox as well. Yeah, what's it? How would you ever understand what it's like to up keep beauty standards as a female of a particular age? Because it's physically invisible, so it's not like a nice stress.

A tie wearing ice jackets. A hand money over and I get a pen. It's not a watch. Yeah. It's like, you know. It's as if more like maybe I can have to shave. But would you get a shave every month? So you smell good every month.

It's like very subjective that one. So I think it would be. I get why people, depending how they manage the finances, wouldn't be something that they would be totally overly transparent about because I imagine that it would be hard to sit down and have a face face conversation. They'd go, this is why I have it. It'd just be like, you don't need it. You don't need it.

well that's why I look like this. Like, I didn't wake up like this. I don't have Botox by the way, obviously. It's also a combination of the cost of it, which for, you know, even the most generous of budgets, it's a big, it's a chunk isn't it? It's not cheap, is it? And then the aesthetic element of it of,

I don't want you to know that I'm having it. Like, there's two elements to why women may. Is it because it could be talked out of it? Like, you actually don't need to spend that. We should be spending money on it. Like, is it, we don't, do we not share it? because we maybe think maybe we agree in some sort of way that we don't need to be spending money on that.

The feel male to male thing like in those typical heterore relationships is fascinating when it comes to aesthetics. I don't mean an aesthetic procedure. I know that's what it's called. But in terms of how you look, because whether we like it or not, so much data has been linked to a, like on a professional level,

the more polished a woman looks like the more promotions, the more she's, well thought of that like unfortunately there's been so many studies and listen there's a there's an element to that of men as well like you know you look good you feel good you clean you're tidy you know your image but for women the younger that you look it's obviously like a um a is good for the non-work side like we all want to appear younger we don't want to feel like we're getting old we don't want to be shipped in for a younger model which is that we see as a as a rhetoric in like press and stuff in movies but it is very real and we talk about maintenance

It's like we talked about, we talk about nails a lot. So I've got my nails done. Holly doesn't have her nails done. And Lucy doesn't have hers either. You don't have your nails? No. So mine costs me $30 a month to have my nails done. And I'm on TV and my hands are like this all the time.

And I'm not very good at keeping my nails nice. When you have your nails done, you feel so put together. I feel more put together. I think you do. There is an element of carrying yourself a bit taller. I think you got like. When you have things done. Like I get it.

And if you have the blow dry, like that point like, oh, hair looking good. Hair not being great. Like, I'm greying at 38. Like, my dad's got a full head of grey hair. So I have been greying and need to keep on top of them. And if I've not got my scheduling right, I feel stressed. I don't want to appear on social or... Even in person, it's not even a TV thing because I thought it's a TV thing,

but I don't want to go to me friends. Do you remember? And I was like, oh my God, my grey's have really come through. And I was having like 20 minute back and forth chats with my hairdresser, Amanda, God bless your soul. And I was like, I'm the worst customer ever. I'm so sorry. I got my date.

Like, we had a conference had come in. minute and I my hair was I was stretching out time trying to because it's expensive and it's time consuming like it's not just like it's diary like it's couple of hours out of your day in a working week it's tough it's tough and I was going back and forth I was in a panic because it looked a mess and I was like I will pay anything get me in to have my hair done but like our male equivalents don't have that so they don't have that requirement or expectation a barber appointment is what maximum 25 quid 30 quid depending on what you have done if you

I went and the beard oil and the this and the... I went and got my hair done the other day and it was like 140 pounds and I said that to Alex he was like, that is crazy and I was like, that is every like two months maybe a few weeks longer. You go and get your hair done, pay 30 pounds,

drive 40 minutes for it. And who's the princess now? Yeah, and I'm like, just because you're spreading it out it seems less because you're just paying 30 pounds to 30 pounds to 30 pounds. And this is like, let's just just to maintain how we look. Yeah.

But this is the point of it. It's like daily, it's not daily maintenance, but it's just maintaining our look rather than something physical, something that we can take home and outfit that we wear. Like supplements, like collagen, like women are so pushed to maintain that youthful look. Men could never understand the pressure that women are under.

So I do understand why women aren't sharing some of that. I wish we could. If you'd go and ask women and you want to do it, do it. And if you want to keep it private, whatever reason. I bet a lot of people would be the same with like those weight loss jabs as well. Like sorry, it would be really hard not to do your partner. Imagine if you're like, you look really different. I have massive.

I have Botox blindness though. I can't tell. I really, really don't tell. I can't tell. I don't think I do that much either. I don't look. I don't think I'm bothered about what people look like. I think it's because I really don't mind what I look like.

Maybe that's the part of it. Like maybe if I was, if I had it or if I, knew what the difference it put on me you might spot it's like if someone's like you know got nice teeth and you've had your teeth on you might be like oh look at your teeth yeah because you've got a vested interest in it and you literally have been through it yourself what else did people say we've got a random one

Pokemon cards but not to open but sell them in 10 years someone's investing in Pokemon cards behind their husbands or boyfriends but is it husbands or boyfriends partner yeah could be anyone coffee subscription I wouldn't hide that I don't drink coffee

Neil drinks coffee and I'm all for him I'm like quit the nicest beans treat yourself like I don't drink I don't benefit What if it's a coffee out

subscription Yeah it'll be like A Gail's or a Pets from and Prepped in life No but maybe there's a comment Maybe there's a comment Here in there And they're like

Is he being a shit To save hundreds and hundreds of pounds Every year You can mean that at home Yeah Not as good as then She's rubbish at hand Would I help

Mostly beauty and self-care, interiors. Yeah. That was a big one. A friend shared with me. She spends a lot of money because it's what she enjoys, but it's also what she's very good at. And I'm going to actually message her back after the show. It's actually tied to her income and how they make money as a family.

But she spends a lot of money on making their house look great. And she said, I don't think my husband truly understands how much money I spend on, you know, making things look good. From the furnishings, he would never think so I'd like to, to the couch, but her job means that she needs the house to look great to create an income. So actually, I'm going to give her a bit of a break because it's all... You're investing in your business. Yeah, a little bit.

But for some people, it's just a hobby as well. Like, I love interiors. We've got a cleaner. I hide a cleaner every week telling my husband we only had her twice a month. He's since figured that one out. That's iconic. And I love my cleaner weekly. Again, with the playing on the gender stereotypes here, like, you know,

sometimes in some houses the cleaning falls upon the woman especially if she works part time and is around more and it's a job like it's hard to do I'm not rubbish actually when people are lazy in your house we've got a lot of host people in our community as well

people are spending a lot of money on horses we're going to look at Lydia because the partner doesn't go on it's expensive isn't it to if it was your hobby because I envision this being both like hiding the cost of the hobby of children from partners

and hiding their own hobby or cost of horse from partners. My friends, I think she's got about 12 rugs for her horse. Yeah. Oh God. She just rotates them. Yeah. They're just a pain in the ass to clean so she just pies.

But to house a horse. To put a horse in your house. Like stables are expensive aren't they to rent the space to have the horse And then you've got to pay people if you're not there To look after the horse Any evening you can't do you've got to pay someone Yeah Vet bills

Oh my God Vet bills I would have had a really expensive It's not hamster It's a horse If you didn't know Very true Do you know what I mean

I've done the drugs and the medicines And the antibiotics and the Do they have like jabs and stuff I don't know Yeah It's expensive isn't it Hors shoes. Carrier, yeah.

Every six weeks. Really? Is that getting a pedicure? For the horse? Yeah, yeah. Holly's like, what is this? If you do dressage, competitions,

outfits, horse and person. Renting a trailer or whatever. Yeah, it's expensive. So you can just... Then you need a car. Buying the horse. If you own a horse.

Then you always get another, don't the people always do that? They get one horse and like, and then they get another. Well, because what happens is, especially if you need to ride a different horse, then you can't get rid of the other one,

especially if like the lame and stuff. So you end up like, it's like a family pet, isn't it? You can't just be like, sorry. Does anyone want a horse? Do you have one? Oh my God. Suddenly it was like, is the, has anybody want a horse?

No. I've got a horse on a saxophone. We could be a marketplace for like re-homing things that once were a big, big obsession. I get that. I know it's expensive. From the outside looking in, it's expensive. And then if you kids do it, like you say, it's a whole other ball game.

Yeah, like, I wonder of like some, like, I'll be dances and it's so expensive. And when you kind of start, it starts cheap and you start stacking the classes, I wonder if some moms don't tell the part of what it truly costs. And it's like, it's a bit of cash here for this competition entry. And then it's another costume. And then there's this. And then there's tickets out, uniform, outfit. It just stacks.

And it can get quite expensive. and I think if some partners found out what it actually cost to go, no, this is ridiculous. Like, she's not doing all these classes. And then if you're the type of needy parent or like, you're like, no, they have to. You just like, you know, you're going to do the best for your kids. So you don't want to miss out. Because if you start doing something and you're too deep, you can't be like,

oh, we're pulling you out of the class. Like, that's a big deal for a child and for you personally. Like, do you just roll with it? I think a lot of women in our community hide how much things cost from their partner. And I don't just mean hobby. or things that benefit us. I think they hide a lot of the children. You've touched on it.

The children, what true cost of running a household is. And it's not their fault. Inflation. Food is really expensive. Fuel is expensive. Gym classes, hobbies, school.

Like, I'm on the PTFA every week. I'm like sending a new thing out. Like, we need £5 for this. We need an £8 ticket for the disco. We want, you know, four pound ticket for the Easter egg hunt. We want you to come into the raffle. Like even I,

as organising those things, then see then school layer on top. Like we're doing a charity fundraise, we're doing this, that's like, it's eye water in. And if you truly, but I don't know why women take that burden on of not wanting to share because they're arguably they might be the ones that then have to pay the excess in that story because they're like, oh, just pay for it. Well, I think that example is not them hiding that. It's just think they happen to pay for it. That's what, when we've spoke to people, it's the optional stuff.

Yeah. They're probably more likely to hire. I think if there's anything. Do you have anything, Lydia? But Tim like doesn't realize. I feel like you both stand by... I feel like you both stand behind what you like as well. Like you both like what you like.

Oh yeah, shamelessly. Yeah, and so you're like proud. Also, I can't tell you like, you'll egg me on for anything. He's like, yeah, get the ice skates. Because he's such an impulsender. You're like, you're a bad influence on me, as made evident by the saxophone. Do you know what's amazing about that? You've got that in your back pocket for life.

I know. Whenever he comments on anything like, saxophone. She just enacted or reenacted a saxophone playing. Mimed is it? Neil's only impulse thing we all know about got sent back when he bid for the... Finney Jones and Gaza.

Grabbing the bollocks. Signed. Signed. Signed. But it was signed. You take that back. Maybe there's something when you turn into a dad, you just turn into like an impulse spender.

because my dad has bought some crazy things. Unicycle is one. What? Oh my God. Okay, that's out there. A lot of family entertainment. I was not expecting you to see unicycle. When you were younger or recently.

Are we talking? I'm talking like I'm in my teens. I think we're talking about more when you're like flying the nest a little bit. Yeah, they go rogue on the hobbies. Maybe he's like getting all the things. He got a dog. Yeah, he's got a dog. He's got a cat person.

He got a dog. Did he get a special oven? He, yeah, he's got, I mean, He built that himself actually. Well, actually, he built a whole bar in his garden. Yeah, he did. That's his, like, hyperfixation. He got a hot tub.

Oh, did he? I think that was too enticed us back after we both moved to uni. And did it? Yeah, it worked. Fair play. Loads of things. Oh, really? He went a bit rogue.

He imposed by his motorcycles. Oh, I used to go for a brew with you down because I feel like she needs this encouragement. We've done that. We did that a few weeks. So, didn't we like the, what's the most random and outrageous? thing you've bought. I already thought with that one.

But yeah, the secret thing, there's not a bit... Nothing surprised to me. Apart with the Pokemon cards is a bit niche, but... Yeah, Pokemon cards is niche. And the horses are like, if some of these partners don't understand what a horse costs, then you really do it anyway. Like, come on. Yeah.

We don't have homes and we just add it all up. You do, you girls. Quick financial win. One listener said speaking to Chelsea at Life Search made sorting income protection and life insurance so easy. and she finally feels like a boss with her cover sorted. Want the same piece of mind? Head to financial dot com forward slash protection

to get your free quote today. Okay, time for our first dilemma. I finally got my finances together. Now I want to quit my job. Hi ladies, I've been thinking about taking a career break for a while now. I'm burnt out, I need the time, and honestly, I think it would be good for my mental health. But every time I get close to actually doing it, I panic.

I've only just got my finances to a good place. I've built up an emergency fund, I'm contributing to my pension, and I've finally started investing a little each month. The idea of pausing all of that, even just for six months, makes me feel physically sick. What if I fall behind and what if I can't get back to where I am now? Is taking a career break financially reckless, or is it something you can plan for properly? P.S, I'm 30, single, and have no dependence. And if this is planable, where do I even start? Oh, I saw something about this the other day where someone did a career break. in the 30s. They were single, had no kids, and they saved a lot of money. I think it was

connected to a family loss and they were just like pushed to be like, what are we actually living our lives for? I think unfortunately the family member like lost the life quite quickly after a diagnosis and the biggest like bit of advice had been saving up for the pension the whole life. They were like the biggest thing like retirement and they were telling the kids like pain to your pension, make sure you retire, save it for a rainy day, like all that messaging. And then unfortunately they passed away quite quickly and on the deathbed they were literally like, I'm really sorry for telling you all that like just. live your life because I was ready to retire and go and see the world and I'm never going to do

it. So there is a balance. Like I'm not all like I love the like live for now like da da da movement. And I think it's a bit more accepting now in this day and age. If you'd have asked me this dilemma like 10 years ago, I'd be like you can't take a career break at 30. Like you don't do that. It's not what you do. Whereas now a much life is really short. There's a lot going on in the world. I'm much more empathetic to people being like I want to pause on this life because it's difficult and go and have a bit of a career break, especially if you're in a good financial place. The only thing I'd say is you've only just got there. I would like you to do it when you're much more comfortable.

Like if you've only just got there, you then will go back with. Because you're saying to me you've just hit milestones of like hitting an emergency fund or finally bossing your budget every month so you're in a comfortable position. I'd like you to have a big buffer so that you can enjoy it while you're there as well, whatever you might do. I'm thinking traveling because you're saying career break. I don't know what necessarily she would do if she wasn't necessarily working. It might just be staying at home every day.

We've talked about that before. you know, retirement might be just going for a nice career break, might just be going for a nice coffee, going for a mooch, having a walk, like no judgment on what it is, what the career breaks for. Yeah, like we've got a following member who's struggling with what he's doing

and he's been through a lot of loss and a lot of heartache actually. But he's also quite lonely as well and so he doesn't enjoy work and we definitely want him to move on in his career and do something different with some different people who's done the same thing for quite a long time.

But at the same respect, like, he asked me this very question about, like, sabbatical career baker. It says I can take one. And I'm like, what are you winning from, though? Because taking three months off to go back, which is not exactly what she's asking, but this same shit different day. Like, you've not fixed the problem. You've had a break. And what you're going to do is sit at home on your own. Yeah.

Like, you've not got a plan. If you'd have said to me, I've always wanted to see India or I've always wanted to kind of go around Australia. And I've got emergency savings for it. In fact, I've got mortgage savings and I've got savings for it and I can go do it. Then you're like 100% do it. But because it was the job actually, more than anything that he was running from. I'm like, let's just fix that. But fix it in a way that you can't get a new job and then take a career break.

So it's a bit of a balance. But firstly, I would really want to know a lot more about what is it about this particular career that's frustrating you? You have just got ahead. If I'd like to think it's like, if you're single in your 30s, I'd like to think it's travel. I think that's thing you want to do. It doesn't sound like, you know, she's not referenced it, but you're not like a doctor that's worked like back to back housing. You just need this break.

You know, you don't want to go and do your daily coffee and take time to decide. You might do, but I get the vibe that at that age, like maybe that's probably what you want to do. Then plan for it and save up for it because one of the best things you can do is enjoy that experience guilt-free. Yeah, do it financially well,

like not worrying where your next like hotel because I'm obviously not going to stay in a hospital because we don't do that here. But no, you might do. The entire, what happens when, it's a beautiful thing that happens when we travel. You removed out of your day to day. When you removed out of your day to day, you question your day to day. And I've had that work for me in two really good ways.

One is what the hell am I doing? You know, like in this job or doing this thing. Or it's, I love my life. I love, like, I can't wait to get back to it. I've had both coming out of your day to day, let you have this more of a bird's eye view. But to be able to have that time out of it, guilt-free without it costing your money without feeling you're getting behind,

you're not running up credit card debts. I don't think you can ever fully be in the moment and embrace it if you're thinking about what's going to be waiting for you when you get back. So I think if it's, especially if it's connected to travel and that kind of break, you need two things. You need save cash to be able to do it and fund it.

Part of that might also be working as you go. Yeah, while you're there, but you need some sort of like... You need to know how you're going to have on the money, don't you're in. Your income's the key to letting you do things. And if you want to take a career break, that's going to go.

So having a full understanding what does that financially mean if that income goes. Yeah. Do you need to save up 10 grand? Then you need to save a target. Go for it and count down to it. Obviously it's a difficulty

if you feel like you're approaching burnout and the amount of things that you can do with work. And if it is not connected to travel and it's more about this career, then you get out of there. Address the career section. Find what's next for you and work towards that.

Because also after any career break, you will have to work. Like you've not won the lottery you're probably not going to, you know, I'm not going to get your hopes up. So what's the plan for that as well? It's just, it's like literally having your ducks in a row so that you can really embrace a career break properly. And it be a break.

And it be, and it be like enriching and uplifting. And not coming back to the thing that you're burnt out. So like Laura said, it might be the at physical break, but it might also be the what do I actually want to do. Yeah, reassessing. Yeah. Not going straight back to it. and you're going to six months time go,

even in the career break. Yeah. I'm excited for her. Yeah. I'm excited for her. Yeah. Tell us. We always do this.

Eat, pray, love. She's got to like, that's what I'm pitcher. Yeah. Gotta go do that. Personal finance, let's face it, can be boring. But at Fanchelle, we do it differently. From guilt-free spending to the perfect payday routine,

our blogs help you feel confident and in control of your money. Head to Fananshell.com to get informed, entertained and empowered today. Okay, time for a second dilemma. I'm heartbroken, in debt and about to lose my home. Where do I start? Hi, girls. I'm a long time listener of the podcast and recently joined the community. Before I get into the details of my dilemma, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the content you're putting out. I grew up in a household where money was a constant source of stress and debt was the norm. I've really only started getting my financial life together in my late 20s with the help of platforms like yours. Now for the dilemma. I've recently split up with my long-term partner,

of 13 years. We'd been together since we were teenagers and we have a mortgaged home and a pet dog together. I make around £30,000 annually at the moment, and this is expected to rise in the coming years after I finish my studies. I live in the south of the country, so I'm already on a tight budget to manage everything. My ex has now moved out and I'll be staying in the home until we sell. From looking at what we owe on the mortgage versus house prices, we're expecting to come away with around £20,000 in equity each. However, I also have around £10,000 in debt, a combination of a car loan and credit card debt. With my salary the way it is, I won't be able to buy on my own. Looking at rent prices in my area, I'll be spending around £1,000 per month,

which is around 50% of my take-home pay. Unfortunately, moving in with family isn't an option for me. I do have a friend who is in a similar situation and we've spoken about living together, but I really don't know where to get started with all of this. My initial plan, was once the house was sold to follow the playbook, use the equity to have a fully funded emergency fund and pay off my debts. I did have a mini emergency fund together, but car and pet issues over the last six months have drained my savings. I've also considered selling my car and getting a runaround. I owe about £2,000 left on it, but used car prices are crazy at the moment. And a car is required for my job. I do a lot of motorway driving, so I need something reliable

and sturdy. My seven-year-old car has never given me any issues at all. I was just wondering if you had any advice for a broken-hearted girlie trying to stand on her own two feet for the first time. What should I do before we sell the house? And any advice for someone looking at renting for the first time? I'm trying to pick up extra shifts where I can at work, but it can be difficult to find time whilst studying and also looking after my dog. Thank you in advance. Oh, sorry you're a broken-hearted girlie. I can't imagine. breaking up someone after 30 years and starting again. But I want to position it as something like that can be quite exciting. And a lot of our community members that have come through with dilemmas similar have come, you know, six months later.

I like that was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I'm so glad like I've got a new lease of life and I've got these hobbies and I've made all these friends and I've got a new relationship. Like there's so many things waiting for you. So even though it feels a little bit messy right now, I have faith that we can put some of these foundations in place that we've spoken about. and not make it feel so overwhelming to go and start renting somewhere because it's not a big deal, it might feel like it right now

because you're out on your own, but so many people go to different countries and just like make friends and get a flat and then they just kind of like immerse themselves. New chapter. Yeah. See it as a positive thing. And even though you're feeling like,

it's a bit overwhelming right now. And it, like, when you've, it can be really hard to be a homeowner and then feel like you're going backwards a little bit and, you know, to come out with 20 grand and already know that you can't buy must feel, must feel tough. And some people might leave that and not use it to do the play a book. But this is a scenario where I think I would. I think like if it was me having that solid emergency fund behind me as I go back into the world as a single home operator and single person.

And also, you know, to not have that debt hanging over my head. I think it's great that she's thought about the car. You know what we're like with cars, but that car's fine. I think $2,000 left on it, it sounds like it's worth a bit more. I was thinking the same thing, because what, it is really expensive

to go and get a car, and you've got $2,000 off. It's got to be much easier to pay that off than it would be to save for a new seller and save. It's not like a 20 grand car loan. No, it's not. It's not changing life and it gives you peace of mind. So she's doing all the right things.

This is then, unfortunately, it is absolutely a maths equation. And this is where, you know, our solo home, like operators, renters, owners struggle because they're having to, you know, fund a lifestyle about themselves, especially those people that can't rely on family. You know, lots of us are privileged that there's, you know, a reset point for us, you know, and even if it's there, it still might not be your adult choice. You might be like, I could do, but I really don't want to.

But I love the idea of picking a period of time and renting with a friend. Yeah, I'm going through that. Like, again, this is like a, it's a, we might want to do certain things. We might want to rent in the area we want to live in. We might want to live on our own. But the math doesn't work out sometimes. 50% of take-home pay. What that does is it strangles you from progress.

Because that's debt-free because that would have been paying off her debt. It also has an emergency fund. But there's no chance that she can do anything else. She can't build up any extra savings. She can't rebuild a house deposit. if she wants to, she probably can't afford to really go on holiday. If 50% of your take-home pay is taken up by your rent payment. Not even bills.

Not even bills. Not even council tax and your utilities that can fluctuate on that level. Not your food, your groceries, transport. Like she needs to be able to have it. She's got an emergency fund, but to maintain the car to put fuel in the car. You need breathing room and it's not going to give you money. So, and like we've said before with this, the firstly, nothing's forever. And so sometimes setting yourself like,

a six or a 12 month or an 18 month timeline to say, this is going to be my chapter for this bit. What I'm going to do, I'm going to optimise my spending as best as possible. I'm going to share living costs and bills with someone that I know already that's in a similar situation to me. And then we'll just keep checking in with each other going. Is this all right?

So you can do that. And then she talked about, I think, like, you know, she said maybe picking up some extra shifts or something. I can't remember for like they were 30. Yeah, she tries to pick as many extra shifts up as she can, but it's difficult because she's still studying and she has to look after her dog. What I'm hoping with the studying point

is she is looking to further her career so the other way that you solve this is maths. So if she's earning 30 now and her net paying means that, you know, roughly half of her take-home pay is on rent. If she can earn 35, that changes. If she can earn 40, that changes because we're still on a 20% tax rate there

so we're not kicking up into the 50 plus where you're going to 40% tax rate. So it's a big, every thousand pounds she gets paid, a good chunk goes in her back pocket. And so focusing on, again, I feel like having a short term, this is the next step. After we've sold the house, this is my first next chapter. I'm going to earn as much as I possibly can all work towards it, which is the study. And I'm going to optimise our expenses and share and then we reset.

And know that, like, she's not in an awful situation, but this two shall pass is a big thing. It's a chapter. And it's a chapter where you're going to, like you said, romanticize it, embrace it, like make it. A friend. Yeah. All of your friends who are married will be so jealous. They'll be there all the time. You'll have for dog sitters because you'll be like,

you can come and stay in my apartment and watch sex in the city, but you have to watch the dog for a couple of hours. So I'll do this extra shift. She talks about heartbroken, you know, so you may glean from that that this wasn't her decision and she's been with someone 13 years. And so that's awful and must be really difficult to process. And on the flip side of that,

when you've been together with someone for so long, you know, they get a bit annoying. and you're not going to have that. Like I keep seeing stuff about, I can't remember I saw something really funny on TikTok and I was straight to the comments. I was like, this is really funny. And it was a lot of married women going like,

I like my husband, but it doesn't need to be in my house. It was so funny. And it made me think about that opportunity where a lot of our community members, you know, leave a relationship and have that first bit of peace and what's next for them. Or challenge as well. get a bit comfortable like

Neil will be watching this going there's no way she'd be able to cope because I am quite reliant on his organisation skills in the life admin department is not my like forte but other things are but we're like leaning to the strengths and stuff but it would be a challenge for me

it would if you said to me your relationship's over tomorrow you're going to go and sort all this stuff out like life change him I would feel overwhelmed I would feel heartbroken I would feel scared but then they've got the will come a day

I'm sure within that period where I'd be like I did it like that was a challenge for me. I got comfortable and I did all this on my own. Like I got, I sorted my rental out. I lived with someone. I sorted all the bills. I saw all the stuff that he might have looked after. Like it's a real big opportunity. Embracing that financial challenge and making it your superpower. Like some people, if you've never handled it, she doesn't say that, but she, that absolutely could be the case and or just literally doing the maths and realizing, oh my God,

this is so hard. Take a step back and go, okay, what is the math problem here? Well, the math problem is income and it's expensive. So what can you do? And they're not forever. Like if you have this positive mindset, which is I will earn more, you might not always be able to watch your expenses, but the minute you share with someone else again

or when you meet your next partner, which you will, you know, that could possibly happen in the future. It might not happen in the future and you might be a solo homeowner in the next two, three, four years. Set those goals and make that your challenge

because you know what, what you don't have is a distraction. You don't have someone else swing you, everything. If you want to paint your room pink, which lots of us do. Yeah, you have to. So what is someone doing in the community?

when they split up from the partner didn't get pink no it was like where they work like around her desk yeah or a laptop and then like she's painted the wall pink she was like this is my I can't remember what she said it was like rebellion we saw the picture she put the picture in the community yeah it was great but yeah I totally empathize why this person would feel a bit out of sorts but it is a maths game and I think have like get yourself a root and we don't condone this but I will on this occasion get yourself a nice little notebook that's to financial freedom oh we do Get a nice pen you're allowed and start modelling stuff. Yeah.

Set your goals down. You can be thinking like, oh my God, whereas actually like, and then change it. You go, no, that doesn't work. What does work? If I shared an apartment, like how much is the, like it might not be a house. It might be an apartment. And that might be for six and 12 months. And then you'll graduate to a house with your friends.

You might get up with your friends. Do you know what I mean? Like you can even that, you can go, oh, it's still really expensive to get a two-bed house. Three-bed house with your friend. Let's look at an apartment life for six months. Six months might give you just a bit of grace to get a bit of wiggle room for things to change for your income to increase, whatever it might be. Another friends might get jealous and you get a big commune together.

Like I said, Babi's Dreamhouse. Well, people keep saying women are going to move into communes. Yeah. Where they live independently, but they get to come together. That should be our ex-business venture. We could definitely sponsor them, but we could like develop. A, you know who this is like wonderful over 55's community, which is obviously so young, but back in the day you thought that was

really older. When I was young, like, but they look like, imagine if it was like, no, no, what I mean is, do we want? It's a pool. There's going to be a pool. There's going to be a sauna. There's going to be like a shared coffee area. But then you can retreat your apartment when everyone's pissing you off and you

want quiet time. Yeah. What else would be there? Social activities. Like there'd be a rota. Botox clinic. Yeah. Subscription Botox. Everyone pays the same.

Yeah. It's subsidized. Botox for everyone. And they're like once in a lot. while they might be like you you had to go for drinks and you just come back and tell us about your date but then you don't bring them back because yeah they're not allowed sorry jane we're like fantasising let's get back in the room back in the room but how wonderful you can see why it's taken off because we've all just romanticised we're all putting our names down yeah oh but honestly

we please keep in touch if you need anything else let us know like this is something that we would love to see you do really well and like you said it's like this chapter and then in your little notebook that Holly's giving you permission to buy think about the chapters after that don't be afraid to dream like that is just it's just the step after

I saw I'll wrap it up really quick because I don't talk about but there's this sometimes even like business when you're struggling with like planning I saw the thing called

the ABZ method sounds very American doesn't it A BZ A BZ but it made me think of actually our personal lives and so

you need You don't need what's happening at A, B, C, D and E. What you need is what gets you from A to B. And then the Z's the big goal. So you can think about Z. Everything that you do should point towards that. So if you want to own a home on your own for you and your dog and have the job of your dreams and have the car of your dreams,

that's Z. You will get there. But what you need to do is make sure that what you're doing between A and B that's going to get you from A to B first. And as long as that's on track for Z, you don't need to think about C, D and F. They'll come. and I kind of like that.

It made me think like sometimes we need to keep around that north star but don't, I do that in fitness all the time like if I think about the exercise at the end

I'll never do it but if I just think about this one that I've got to do it breaks it down maybe we should do that a bit more enough we want everything now don't we that's the problem

like we've learned that everything you can get now everything's immediately but actually it's good to be quite present and just focus on this because it's gonna

I know that good times are coming or difference coming or big us come in. We save the financial, like you build a strong financial foundations, like wealth comes and it absolutely does. Do the basic stuff, like not being in debt, having a mini emergency fund. We don't say it for fun. Like, we're not doing it. We're not doing it because we just thought of it one day. It's like, you know, it's proven that if you can get

these strong foundations in place, should something come in derailia, you've got something to fall back on, you've got good habits. Like, you will eventually get to that invest, even though it might feel like really far away. It's surprising how quick you can actually get there if you focus on the A to B. So I like that. That's really good. I didn't cut it. I know you're like, you should. That phrase. I'm going to write a book. Okay, that is all for this episode.

The Vault is now closed. And just a quick disclaimer, The Vault is just a chat around life and money topics. We are not giving financial advice.