The Vault with Financielle - “I Said Yes. He Still Asked My Husband.” | The Vault Episode 79

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

Send us a text“You don’t need to send your child back to school with the latest gear” - we unpack this week’s controversial opinion, then dive into your dilemmas:💸 ”Can You Bounce Back from a Credit Default?💸 ”Builders will only listen to my husband”Got a money win or (totally anonymous) dilemma? Share it via the Financielle app community or email [e-mail] 💌You’re not alone in figuring this stuff out. Get honest, helpful reads at financielle.com 💖💸Connect with our Partners🐝 Consolidate your pensions with PensionBee (capital at risk)🫶 Protect yourself and loved ones with our friends at Lifesearch✍ Write a will that is tailored to you with Octopus Legacy🏡 Meet our Financielle approved Mortgage Brokers💸 Commission-free investing* with Trading 212 (capital at risk)🛒 Cashback on your shopping with Jam Doughnut (use code FINC)*The above are tracked links, which tells our partners we sent you and may in future result in a payment or benefit to our site.The Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Welcome to The Vault with Finan Child. This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. None. I wish there was. None. We got wide. How controversial are we going today? That's what you come up with.

Oh. Well, just you wait till dilemma number two. Okay. That's all I'll say. Okay, but let's start off with today's controversial opinion, which is, you don't need to send your child back to school with all the latest gear. this is relevant for us or Holly soapbox is

conversation yeah well I'm part of the PTFA at my school if you didn't know already Laura's like show up but I this year bought all my children pre-loved

school jumpers that's cool because they're really anything personalised I'm going to put it out there for all the people that got side hustle doing personalised gifts

they're actually really bad for the environment if you think about it You can't send it to a charity shop like Holly's pencil case. You could, it'd be weird. It'd be hard to find the one. There might need to be a charity shop

whereby you donate all personalised things and then people go and then find the name, whatever. But it's not as simple as that, obviously. Holly's hen. Yeah. All the hendoo stuff. Lucy's engagement party. Lucy's graduation.

Like, it's lovely and it's thoughtful, but it's actually really bad for the environment. And so I bought, in really good condition as well because jumpers, the kids barely wear them. I'm not talking. like polos from M&S or Sainsbury's or Morrisons where they do a 20% off and it's really you can then donate. Standardised isn't it? Yeah. The blue, white, whatever. You can donate those really easy and we have done this year to and if you don't know what to do with your school uniform

that's unbranded you can send it to like a food bank style place where children that can't afford uniform don't have an uniform can get shorts, pinnifles, summer dresses. They can all be donated so that's fine but anything that's branded with a bad John. For my children's school it's really hard to then gift that anywhere and you can't recycle it so no my this year my big thing is we're going to buy the pre-lived jumpers so I think I bought them for like two pounds each oh my god and in the to buy them full price they'd be like 14 pounds each just on vintage or is there no no in school oh sorry so you've got a rail in school and you can look through them they're in size order it's fabulous but it's just a consideration and then I was looking at

the lunchboxes thinking right I need to pick a new lunchbox and I was like why are we picking a new lunchbox. I literally said it out loud. I was like, why do we do this? Yeah. The drinks bottle, absolutely fine. School shoes, absolutely fine. So we'll be, I'm much more conscious. It is so funny to think about actually. Why? Why are we throwing all, think of all the millions of items. Do you want to get thrown away in July just because it's new school year in September? Because on the other element to the, we are, we have as a uniform debate, especially with the older kids at like high school. It kills me that. It's the blazer things. Like when it's hot over the summer, the summer when it's like, you know, July before they break up. And they all have to wear

like a tie. A shirt, a blazer and a shirt. And the really expensive, like Ava's uniform has the emblem on the skirt and the jumper and the jumper and the blaser. So you have to buy the, you can't go to M&S or wherever for the skirt. You have to buy that one. And they're not chees. And they're wearing these outfits which don't look that smart. Like 1990 smart. And I think you said this before, like, people don't wear suits to work anymore most of the time. It was to get the kids ready. Yeah. To go into an office job.

Professional environment. But can only we just remember that they then go to college first. So you go through high school in a shirt and tie in a blazer. And then you go slobbing around in your trackies for two years. And then you go to junior, you're even more slobby. And then you start a job and they don't wear a shirt and then you go in and they wear casual t-shirts and jeans or chinos. Yeah. Oh, you're tech bro.

You wear a vest, like a patagonia vest. A vest. A vest. It meant like a sleeveless. I mean, whatever. Do you know what I mean, though? It's not reflective. We've not moved on with the time.

But families have to find the money to pay for uniform. This wasn't a controversial opinion, but it's like the gear thing is interesting because is it getting better? Like when we were at school, there wasn't like the discount retailers where you could do fast fashion, which good thing, bad thing. Things are expensive. Like Nike Maxes are expensive. So people are, you know, having to buy those for the kids

because this phone thing, like, as people, what phones has everyone got? And how did you find the money for that? Like, our parents found cheap phones that we would, they were just coming out. I remember getting my phone. ETSL net with a sticker. Yeah. To put a sticker on the front of it as you cover.

So you had a union jack one, remember? And you have to make your own ringtone. Oh my gosh. He did. You had to type in the numbers. We could buy them for, like, too quick. and it would, it was the code. Give you a code and then you'd do it wrong and it'd go,

do, da, da, da, da, da, de, like, because you get that on one. I was all McDonald had a fun. Yeah, and you have to start again, though, if you got one of them wrong. Anyway. But the, like, the gear thing, I think having, just talked about sustainability, but one of the benefits of having, you just can't retailers is that people can keep up with fashion. I think they're a little less designer-focused, maybe teenagers than they were. It's like two extremes.

Like, you can, the, you can. Nike Air Macs and the thing, there's certain items that people will buy a designer but then the majority I imagine what people wear are accessible items like Kishine

unfortunately new look, whatever pretty little thing like all that you can emulate a look like girls when you see them we get interviewed on the street it's very rare that there'd be a designer item and if there's one,

if it was any item it'd be like a handbag or something or a coat it's never like the look I remember going to a charity ball that was put on by the Sudulo Foundation which is in the accountant's company up in Manchester, but they've got this like Children's Foundation and they work with underprivileged kids.

And one of the things they do, because they do it for lots of different ages, but for teens, is ready for the start of the school year. They get like a bit of a goody bag. And so they work with like, literally thousands of kids that fall into this category. And it's like,

I don't know if, I'm going to, I don't know if JD work with them, actually. We'll see, because I get people to contribute and they also pay for these bags. But let's say if you've got, let's say they do JD Sports bags it comes in the back so then they can use that back like they bought an item yeah and then they put loads of like health stuff like some deodorant and like stuff that that gets them started for the year but the best thing they put in it is a Nike

water bottle and it's because it's it's it's a leveler it's a status symbol because it is you know it's it's not the latest gear but it's a designer obviously it's a status symbol it's Nike, it could be used every day. And like you don't tend to change fashion of a water bottle. You don't grow out of them. You don't grow out of them. They don't really get damaged. And so just for like a 10 to 15 pound investment in a water bottle, you've helped

someone keep up with the Joneses a little bit in their own way, but subtly. And so it was interesting when he was saying that because I forgot that that's what children go through. And as parents, we just don't want our children to be picked on. We don't want them to feel left out. We don't want them to feel like they're not worth it. But at the same time, for lots of people, money is tight. And you want them to not focus on the wrong things as well.

Like, who cares? What about that one? That one, like you said. You can imagine, like, I remember being at high school and it'd be a thing. Like, you'd go and get your new pencil case, new colours, new that. The amount of pencils I've got in my house, like, I just need a sharpener. I don't need a new set of felt tips, biro's, gel pens. Like, you just get sucked.

into this new year. Dopamine hit. I used to love it. I used to love buy new pens. Yeah. But like I could buy pens in May. Yeah. Like Ava needs pens now and I was like, she was looking for a pen in a room and I was

like, Eva, whenever you need pens, will you just tell me? Yeah. I'll buy you a set of pens. We don't. And she's like, well, she's not bothered. But actually, there's no need to wait until. Yeah, I'll be needed new school shoes recently. So I wasn't like, wear them.

Some people do wait, though. It's a thing. It's like a deadline and then they do the renewal. but I literally was going to be like, oh, I'll get the pal lunch at the beginning of the year because it gets busy. Summer holidays, they'll all go. And I was like, Holly, why are you buying them new lunchboxes?

They're literally fine. They're clean them every time. If you keep on top of them and you clean them, they're absolutely fine. I think we'll definitely revisit it. Well, like most of the kids we're talking about a primary school kids, but it might get worse.

Probably will get worse. Yeah, I imagine it is because you're like, I'm not using, you can imagine teenagers pushing back. Like Teddy and Woody wouldn't think to be like, I need a new, I need a new lunchbox. I'm not going in. They can't care less. Maybe when they get to like a 13 year old girl,

she's like, well, I can't have the same bag. Sabrina Carpenter pencil case because she's not in anymore. It's, I don't even know. C-Matt is dropping armor. No, it's like, Carmen's laughing. My kids keep singing. Alexa, play, take a sexy picture of me. He's like six years old.

You're probably just set everyone's Alexis off as well, by the way. Take a sexy picture on me Yeah, that doesn't make sense I remember being in high school and being like It was literally August and I was like I'm planning on my bags Yeah, like whatever you're going to get Morgan bags

Lugges list Morgan de Twas Morgan de Trois It needs to be a Morgan bag It would be black Like a Jane, I might even Jane Norman for you Is that even too? Everyone needs to use that for their like

P kits Or then it went to like Hollister. Oh, okay. And you're like a naked man on the back. Appropriate. Yeah. And then they go banned. I just say.

Well, have Avicromby got cancelled. Yeah. We'll have them. Okay, time for our first dilemma. We're interrupting this pod to deliver a public service announcement. Ladies, you should prioritise your investment routine, just like you do your skin routine. I worked investing into my payday routine with the help of trading 212. Consistency is key with a routine and trading 212's auto-invest feature can help you invest in a hands-off way.

Also, I find the daily notifications about how my portfolio is performing helps keep me motivated and accountable on my investment journey. Just a side note, we handpick our partners based on products that we love. If you want to take your investing routine as seriously as your skin routine, trading 212 is a great place to start. So, head to the link in the podcast description to get started. Can you bounce back from a credit default? Hey girls, I have a question for you about defaults because I don't think it's something that's been discussed in loads of detail before

and I'd love to hear your take on them. Me and my partner both have a couple of defaults on old credit cards, which happened during a really tough time in our lives when we were both dealing with illnesses. We're now back on our feet and are really focused on sorting out our finances and we've made it a priority to settle the defaulted balances,

mainly to start healing our credit scores. But I know technically we have other debts with lower balances, like phones and furniture loans, which would come first in a classic debt snowball strategy. So my question is, are we doing the right thing by tackling the defaults first? And more generally, what is the best way to handle defaults and how much damage do they actually do to your credit long term?

I feel like she's so remorseful and guilty. Like she feels so guilty for a score. It's like a reflection of her, don't you think? Like people... Credit scores are bizarre, like how they make people feel in a negative way. They do. And, you know, like, we talked about the gamification of credit scores quite often. And the danger of it, the danger where people like kind of...

People are encouraged... Yeah, they take out credit and they use it to kind of show. And then suddenly they get into a situation where this isn't this person. but it's gamified all around potentially getting a mortgage, maybe getting a finance car if people want to do that. When they don't know that they could have got one anyway, they don't know it. There's definitely, there is evidence, unfortunately,

that having credit and paying it off at some point will have helped it, but you can also do it with lots of different ways. We talk about this with like phone contracts once in a while. Like if you can get a phone contract, it doesn't have to be a device. It can just be a contract that you pay monthly for, but it shows that you can pay bills on time. there's lots of different things you can do to have evidence of frequent payments.

Sometimes you can even look at rent payments and get them to count towards. There's some companies now that are trying to get your rent history as forward as like proof that you can get a mortgage and you're a reliable bill payer. You can make sure that you are not connected to any people that have like financial issues. It's financially linked now. If you are technically linked to them in terms of a loan or something, then you have to be. But having things like your address is correct. on everything and consistent and names,

electoral registers, there's lots that you can do to build up a credit history. And then the other thing is with these, getting your free credit report, like I'm always conflicted with them because some of these companies that provide free credit reports entice you to take on more debts to boost your score. But parking that,

they are really helpful for keeping on top of things like default. So what I presume has happened, and she shared this is, she's missed payments at some point. There's been an area of their life. And this is the, this is not a preach to her but this is generally what people don't think through

when they're taking on credit it's not percent it's fine and life hits you health hits both of them and suddenly they can't make a payment and suddenly that's on your credit file now firstly that's not the end of the world you are entitled to miss a payment

I would never recommend doing it but you're not a bad person for missing a payment on something and but that's what happens and so people think that not percent you know or credit's a really good idea until it's not. And so, you know, she's now in a situation

where she's got these, like, when you get your report, like it'll show like a red flag. It's like a flag on your report. And I think snowball, we're always very transparent with the fact that Snowball and Avalanche, for example, are two different methods that you can use to pay off your debts.

What we know is that focusing on overpaying one debt at the time is the quickest way to become debt-free. A Harvard study showed that during the debt snowball, works better because motivationally we like paying off the little debt and so we do get a win don't you get a win that that's your dopamine and hit and then you go I want to get that again so then you go into the next one where it's a big chunky mountain you just paying a little bit of everything it's exhausting yeah and so but mathematically someone would say oh avalanchey's better because if you've got someone with a really high interest rate

actually mathematically you should pay that off more quickly what the snowball method says is you just get more aggressive like you get excited about it you find extra money, you get momentum. Yeah, you get momentum. And so that's why when we talk about Snowball and Avalanche, I think with credit defaults, the most important thing to do is to get current. And so we don't want to be missing any payments. So on all items, even if you've missed a couple of payments on something, as soon as you can get back on your minimums, because that way you get no more defaults. And you can have your conversations with the debt providers about how you can catch up if you're behind and make sure that you pay any fees that are required. And so I can't tell you

which order to do it in because, you know, none of us truly know what bit will impact what report, but having really good dialogue with your credit providers, especially if you're struggling, even anticipation of possibly missing a payment, being proactive about it. I was going to ask that, because obviously we've talked, we've had dilemmas in the past where by people have said,

do you remember the girl whose friend took out the car finance? And she literally went in and went, you should not have given, like, you know her history. You can see it and you've given it. I think it's irresponsible and we want you to kind of like take the car back. And then we've given advice before about if you're struggling to make a payment to reach out to a company. I don't do it on the BBC all the time. So would you do that ahead of schedule?

If you can see, I'm not going to be able, right, okay. If you are anticipating not being able to make credit payments, credit companies, especially, you know, as enforced by the FCA, the Financial Conduct Authority, are required to, like, support you. And the main credit providers, a big respectable. companies like we're talking like Deloids and the Barclays yeah not west and you know huge visa people dedicated to this idea that make an awful lot of money from people using credit and so when credit goes wrong they should be supporting them and they have teams geared up for this there's also in the UK especially there's a um a law that we refer to as breathing space if you go on citizen's advice and look at breathing space in fact we've probably got a couple of articles on it

it's if you think that your payments are getting a bit unmanageable you can proact other contact your credit provider and request breathing space where you can request that you have this 60 day period where you don't have to make payments and they freeze interest. And you have to be considered for it and you have to meet certain criteria. So go and do your research. But that would have been something that would have been helpful because it could have prevented a potential default. And during that time, you know, when that's up, you can make a plan for either getting back on track or speaking to your provider about, is there anything I can do with payments? Can we lower them? Can I stretch them out over a term? Whatever the type of credit is. Because

they don't want you defaulting and they want you to pay it back and they don't want the debt to go bad and they've got to listen to you as well you know you may even challenge them and say this was unaffordable and I shouldn't have been lent it which is obviously the way forward

and having an open dialogue and communication but like we've all been taught to feel like debt is quite like a shameful thing like as society we always talk about it we're all like we're happy to throw it on people influences of promoting clan and left right and centre and the minute we start to become overwhelmed with it

we feel guilty like we're a bad of humans we can't manage money like we're incompetent like we don't know well actually there's an open dialogue there are teams of people and we know this from speaking with people like barclays that are dedicated to helping people once they get into a situation where they feel like they can't manage those minimum payments like like laura said be proactive if you know that's coming there's an illness in the family if there's someone's lost a job like planet you should know this why budgeting is so important with fan and shell as well you can foresee it coming you know what's coming it's not going to be a surprise and just having an open dialogue like laura said will

stop possibly, I can't guarantee, might stop those defaults and then those marks on your credit score. I definitely think for our viewer or anyone that may be similar speaking to citizens' advice was jumping on a call with them. Also, I try to like step change because they specialize in being able to navigate

people struggling with debt and maybe what to say like if you want a script or if we want some help or they may even support you in choosing when you know the exact terms and conditions of each debt and what you could be defaulting on, what to pay off in what order. But the biggest takeaway for me is, like, you're back on track now and you're getting ahead. Don't feel as guilty. Like, this is a contract.

Like, all it is is an agreement to borrow money and pay it back and you just missed a payment. Like, you are not evil. You are not bad. Don't feel as bad about this. Just go, oh, this happens in business all the time. Like, sometimes we don't hold up our end of the bargain. Obviously, we want you to always make payments. But you're not, it's not a personal thing.

It's just a financial. And this is why, like, I won't take on any day. because you stretch what you can afford as well. So when times are tough, like we make sure that our budget is as lean as possible. So whatever's thrown our way, we're more than likely to be able to deal with it. Whereas if you take on, I don't know,

if you get a new furniture, you move into a house, everyone else wants new furniture. It's like a thing. So I'll get it on finance. I own a house. I've owned one for years and my first part of call is

I'm going to go on Facebook marketplace and buy it in cash. And it might not be brand new, but I might do it up. Like Neil was looking at bikes the other day. he went straight to like an online store it was like 230 quid he was like oh that's good isn't it

and I was like we don't you don't need you're not desperate for a bite you don't need it for work it's not going to be something that we need to like invest a lot of money and can you not just find one on Facebook marketplace and he went I'm so glad you said that you got on for 90 quid oh that's good like he didn't need the 260 pound brand new flashy bike he needed a bike so he can go bike ride with the kids

around the village like every so often for a minute I thought you met the monthly payment I was like oh no no for the whole thing but it just makes you you, and if you could have bought it paid for it in three, maybe you'd have chosen a 500 pound bite. 100%. We spend more with credit, yeah.

But it just highlights that because we just never know what's around the corner. We're all about keeping it lean, aren't we, our budget? So when we set up finance, Shell, we've talked about before, we were like, how come, as lean, but happy, not like, frugal. I'd love to be happily, lean. That's the dream. But we talked about it a lot, the leaner you are

in terms of like your unnecessary expenditure means that you can weather the storm. It's all fine until it's not and I really feel for our listener. I hope. I think you're back on track and you're on the way and you're doing all the right things. Yeah. But don't feel as bad. Screw them. Okay. Community win time.

Yet another example of how sinking funds saved lives appeared for me last week. my youngest starts secondary school in September, which is a very heavy birthday month in our household, with three out of four of us having birthdays. Last year, I was horrified about how much money September cost with the usual uniform costs, so started an automated September sinking fund to soften the blow. Fast forward to now, and my son got the uniform list, and I can cover all of it and more from my little pot without touching any other money. I'm so grateful for last September's me.

there will even be money left over for some shoes we've just talked about this we did ahead of summer because we knew that we had like all the clubs to pay for because we need to work every day a long time ago we set up a sinking fund for summer like to cover these costs and literally we had more than we needed to put in the sinking fund

like this person and I was like Neil's like we're 30 quid up that was free chips for everyone it was like 300 or quid to pay for hour and we're on holiday for one of the weeks and we get help with grandparents so that tells you how expensive yeah this wrap around care can be in summer and we put away for it every month a little bit more we up to how we like we call it like school budget or whatever it might

be to pay for after school clubs and the sports clubs and everything and Neil's like let's go how on it let's put more in it and it literally paid for summer I you know the school thing's massive and it's when you burned and she obviously went through that I went no no not again And we all remember the dilemma about the parent who, like, the school trip. And everyone was like, come we pay for a school trip, we're going to every financial community member. It is. And it's not that syncing funds is the answer to her scenario. She had a very particular scenario.

But it can catch you out and it can blindside you. And having, if there's room in the budget to start something small, you'll not be caught out. Because school do this. There's suddenly there's this club and suddenly there's this trip. And suddenly there's this like event at Christmas or suddenly, you know, there's things will come out and that wouldn't usually go in a budget, especially if you're not used to

the school stuff. So, um, that's great stuff. I like the January singing fund. Do you remember? I love the January thing. Because January is like a miserable month. And we always say it's 50% off food most place in January. Yeah. You could even just put a bit away. It could go so far. No one goes out in January but all the people that have a January singing fund do.

Yeah. They can have all the deals. If you'd like to tell us, you'll win, head to the community in the app or email it to the vault at find my child.com. Okay. Time for all. Oh, this was decent.

Controversial. More controversial than the controversial opinion. Yeah. This will get us riled up. Oh, God. Okay. Dialogue number two. Hey team.

First of all, I just want to tell you how much I love the pod. It keeps me so motivated and on track. So thank you, girls. Second of all, my rant. And maybe some advice, too, because I'm, I'm sure this won't be the last time it happens. We're currently having some work done on the outside of our house. I'm on maternity leave right now,

so I'm usually the one home when the builder's here. Every time he asks me something, he tells me to ask my partner rather than just speaking to me. I usually brush it off, but last week he suggested repainting our gate, and I said, yes, go ahead. His response to ask my partner's permission again. So I told him,

can like see Holly letters in the corner of my eye. So I told him, I don't need to ask my partner. You can just do it. My partner and I are a team. We have a pot of money for the house that we've both saved into and we trust each other's decisions on how to spend it. I gave the builder permission to do the work on our gate four times in person. Then yesterday he texts me saying, did you ask your partner about the gate? I need to know if it's something I'm doing so I can plan for it next week. Rightly or wrongly, this really pied me off. I'd already told him four times to go ahead with it. I think he assumes my partner is the one paying probably because I'm on maternity leave.

The man doing the work is in his 60s, so I've tried to give him some grace. Maybe things would work differently in his marriage. But honestly, this really annoyed me. So here's my question, what do I do? Do I correct his behaviour and tell him it's not just my partner paying for it? Or do I not bother? Because honestly, why should I have to? P.S. Fuck the patriarchy.

Now we're talking. Okay. Oh, I'm annoyed. I mean, this is just to, like, row you guys up real nationwide. She doesn't, she doesn't mention that, like, they're having worked on the house and they're not at the pain and the game level. I didn't know it at the end. Because I feel like, soon you're going to get this guy out of your life.

Our friend always says, suck it up, but it'll go up and it's like, is it a case of that for a short amount of time and protecting your own piece of mind that you just brush it off because it sounds like you've done a great job of that so far. But then it just becomes ignorant to ask someone four times and then to follow up with a text. I'll be talking to Neil. I'd be like, Neil.

Do you know, I would do. You speak to him. What would you do? Just wait for it to be. Don't attempt because he's giving, setting his way's energy. Yeah. Review. Oh.

Keyboard worry. He's probably not on the internet. No. I'll give a shit. Sure. Or get it around the local village. Oh, it's a misogynist. They'll be like, yeah.

We know, Tony. We all know. it's you know whether it's sexism or racism like when it's a particular age group there are conflicting views about like I'm the person that calls it out yeah because some people just a generational thing I'm like no which is why we need which is why you need to say something and so you know sometimes you look at the you know like I said with this one he and I think I've had this recently you know it's annoying that I can't recall what happened but this happened to me where

something was said and you feel like going no yeah but I am so conflicted like what did you do do you say something or is it like this lost cause and you just go or whatever she said something four times I would honestly would get Neil to be like mate in front of me yeah she makes the decisions like she is in this we're in this together so if holly says paint the gate mate you paint the gate like I feel like you need an ally in this situation to back you up. You're not, because you don't want to portray as the crazy, like, for women, like, just like caricature. Do you know what I mean? I'm not going to wait for the rest of the day. Mark. Tunga strike. Attached to the gate. Is it painted? Have we painted yet?

Is it done it? But I carry on. You hear it a lot. You hear things like, you know, the bill being given to the man in a restaurant. fine. You carry on. If not, she slides it over to all it. F the patriarchy when we want it. Yeah, when we don't want it. But all, like in business meeting,

someone will speak to... Someone said about carrying something to me. What do you mean? Oh, you better get Neil to help you carry that. I was like, I will be carrying up my own just to prove a point. I killed myself. It was a plant pot.

In the... In the lads group, one of them needed help with a fridge freezer and I think Carl was like, I'm free, but Laura's stronger. So, like, I'll send her. I think, do you remember I had a chat with a gentleman and we talked about, I said, I don't know you're going to say.

And he went, oh, and what did he say? And I went, she. I love all those things. And it's like, what are the like micro feminist stuff? Like, the, you do you just assume every, like. So that's a, that's a TikTok thing, is it? That, it's like, were the moments where you can do these minor corrections and reinforcements and you know i would do i'd like pretend that i was a lesbian

my wife there's no husband what you're talking about yeah 100% if it's like check with your husband who just getting competent just be like who yeah reinforced that why you presume i've got a husband i mean maybe they've met but you know why you presume just walk around like a crown on your head and be like i'm telling you paint the phone

i i definitely think in most of these scenarios I can't fucking help myself. So I am like, there's no chance I'm not saying anything, but I am a high-end path. I'm a high-to. So I will usually just be a bit passive-aggressive with it and joke

and like, Kyle is doing a joke. I'm sorry. Listen, Tony. It's not 1940 now. I go to work and I earn the money in this house. So do you want to just do what I say? You can do it in a funny way. You can listen up.

I've done it. We've done that. Laura and I thrive off. we love it addressing a political issue dressing up in humour can we come round still a bit of a sting to make the point

but it's shrouded in humour so you don't look like a bitch because that's what you'll be portrayed as she is right we throw it off it like do the Bridget Jones jelly jellyfish scene

where the girl goes oh Bridget you're looking old ding and it's like there's a jellyfish in the bottom corner it's like counting them up just give it the sting but you're dressing it up nicely listen Tony

Don't ask Neil what colour or weather or whatever. Tony, do you want to be paid? Because I'm paying, even if I'm not. Well, I think getting an ally is always a good thing. So, like, your husband going, listen, she makes the decisions around his mate. Don't message me. It's up to her. Or if there's a co-worker, if Tony has a co-worker called Bob.

Bob, is Tony listening? Yeah. Has it got a hearing problem? He's falling on deaf ears. Sorry, afraid of deaf ears. Turn your hearing aid on. I am the mother. Yeah, it's selective verse.

You knew what you were doing with this dilemma She's like The end of the pod I'm just going to drop it in Like I'm going to hinge for 10 minutes But whoever, like I said Whoever has sent that in Play it to your personality type

Like so you know See this is easy for us to say Because we would love that scenario Oh never do it really This is me like I do I do You'd say it and then you'd be stuck Inside your house

Whenever he's walking outside Don't have you ever done that Like the sort of handyman's coming You're like diving into a room You just don't want to make an awkward conversation And some man, I'm like, I'll just wait, leave it around the corner. I saw a funny sitcom where someone was like, when the handyman's around and so you can't walk really around your house, you have to hide in a room.

Even though you've got a lot of stuff you want to do, it's your place and you're just going about your business in your house, but you can't possibly. They had a handyman come to our house the day and I wouldn't answer the door. And he was like, answer the door. I was like, no, because I thought it was someone else. And he was like, answer the door. I was shouting. I'm like, shut out. And I didn't realize it was him.

I was hiding. I was hiding from someone. I can't say who. And physically I was hiding. He's going, answer the door. I booked this man to come. And the man's like, I can see you. This is Alan.

I can hear you. I open the door. He's getting back in his car. Neil's like, you run down the street. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. I thought you were someone else. I was like, I admit I was hiding from you.

Come in, do you want to brew? He was like, what is going on? Now you're smothering me. Like, oh, God. Running down the street. His man I blatantly was lying on the floor hiding from. Oh, it's tough. Will Smith's tough.

Tony for you. Sorry to for any Tony's out there. Yeah, we'll send your voice notes. Play to him. Out the window. Okay, that is all for this episode. The Vault is now closed. And just a quick disclaimer the Vault is just a chat on life many topics. We're not doing financial advice.