The Vault with Financielle - ”I’m an Accountant… and I’m Drowning in Debt” | The Vault Episode 81

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Send us a text“We need to cancel office presents” - we unpack this week’s controversial opinion, then dive into your dilemmas:💸 ”I’m in the build phase and I feel stuck”💸 ”I’m an Accountant… and I’m Drowning in Debt”Got a money win or (totally anonymous) dilemma? Share it via the Financielle app community or email [e-mail] 💌You’re not alone in figuring this stuff out. Get honest, helpful reads at financielle.com 💖💸Connect with our Partners🐝 Consolidate your pensions with PensionBee (capital at risk)🫶 Protect yourself and loved ones with our friends at Lifesearch✍ Write a will that is tailored to you with Octopus Legacy🏡 Meet our Financielle approved Mortgage Brokers💸 Commission-free investing* with Trading 212 (capital at risk)🛒 Cashback on your shopping with Jam Doughnut (use code FINC)*The above are tracked links, which tells our partners we sent you and may in future result in a payment or benefit to our site.The Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Welcome to The Vault with Finance Child. This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. Good morning. Hello. Good morning. We can't help but do this. So again, we're talking about clothes. Lucy, talk us for your T-shirt.

This is my butter top. Do I recently purchased? So people say it when she has a butter top, not like a butter-coloured. It's a soft top with a picture of aesthetic butter on it. like butter it's your dream t-shirt talk us through where these came from i was literally in liverpool it was six pounds where were you stradavarius yeah i saw it it was literally hanging up sail like a halo light around it oh it was in the sale yeah we saw your little butter t-shirt no one i was like butter t-shirt yeah there was a whole rail i was like guys did you stop sleeping on this

butter t-shirt the people that may not remember or may not have heard but um it's lucy's like vice Especially expensive butter. Favorite food. Favorite food group. Deathrow meal. A block of butter. Yeah. What's you, okay, so you went to Paris, didn't you? You brought loads of different butters back. What was your favorite one? Well, the best butter that I've found so far, like, ever in the supermarket is the M&S French butter. Oh. It's really good. It's really creamy, really light. And like, I've had all of the ones that I could potentially find in every farm shop. ever, and that's the best one. Really? Hey for that recommendation because it's accessible.

When we were growing up, my nana would call real butter, best butter. Yeah. And the alternative is margarine. Marjorie. And so she'd say, do you want some toast with best butter? Oh. And for years, I didn't know what best butter meant. And it was only like, probably in my 30s.

Like, what does she mean? It's always yes. It's just real butter, not like VIP butter, just actual butter, as opposed to archery. The best butter I've come across is actually the, little one with salt flakes in it. Yeah, is it in like a black grass fed. Yeah, yeah, delicious. Grass fed. I was like grass fed salt. With flake salt. Yeah, it is good though. And I've got a new butter dish in the day. What's it like? It's just called a so. Sorry, we digress. A Soho

home is it called. Yeah. It's from TK. Max and it's like a speckled one. Like cream pottery with like a brown speckle on it. So we no longer have like a flow pack spreadable. No, I put my little grass-fed butter in it and then put the pottery lid on top. Which isn't ideal with kids. It stays out. It's got a lid on it. But it's like, it's an experience for everyone. Makes me happy.

I saved it for the podcast. Oh, so she's in a first out in a shit. I bought it like two weeks ago. Oh, you kept it. I took the labels on my own. Privileged. Okay, today's controversial opinion is we need to cancel off. Whipparounds.

The good old office whip around. Oh my God. It's been so long since I've had to do one. We kind of get out of this because I like a vert. I wonder what it's like now. So back in the day, let's just fill you in. Back in the day. Lucia and Lydia, you might know about office with Browns.

I've never had that. No. See, right. Let's tell you about what this is like. Sandra, let's call her, would have a big A4 brown envelope. Yeah. She would write her name on the top. She would put a fiver in.

Or a tenor. We're collecting for... It'd be Laura's maternity leave. Okay. Laura's bought a new house. Laura's getting married. First day, maybe. Laura's leaving.

Oh yeah. She's going. Probably getting a pay rise. Yeah. And we're all lowly staff. Like... And so Sandra would write her name and put Fiverr. And then would give it to Holly.

Lucy. So we'd know who hadn't paid in. Yeah. It'd be like... Oh my God. Lidia? Lidia is tight. Yeah, Lydia's not on, right, we'll leave you.

You're not on the card. Not Lydia. Would it be for everything and it a bit every week? Because obviously someone's birth. If you work in an office and you've got a team, I was in a team of like 20 people. It was always someone's birthday. It was always someone's wedding.

It was always someone's leaving. Someone's leaving. It just caught, you'd be like, oh, fucking, yeah, sure. Got no cash day. Okay, I'll catch you tomorrow. And that was a day when you probably would add more, like cash was the thing

that you would have all the time. time up now because I used to when because in in the budget I would take it from the giving category but then I didn't like that because I like to give the giving to charity so I not to Sandra because I had a gifting part but that was for like buying for presents for people that I wanted to buy presents for people that I wanted to buy presents for family children whatever so then the where does it come from in the budget my food budget like my eating out budget like yeah so I remember always being like I used to I you know because I can't I didn't like the idea of actually creating a space for this.

Or the problem was if I upped gifting, I'd probably up the gifting of the other people and then I'd still be asked for a fibre. So all the time. It was nice to run the receiving and I had two maternity leaves at my work. And it was so lovely. Everyone would always be like really thoughtful and get a nice gift. So I get it.

Like there is a time and a place. My friend Alison, when I left work, I got this like, and I don't know how she. Oh my gosh, she's amazing. She's like admin. But it was COVID. And so I got some. a beautiful presence, really helpful

presents, very well thought out. Do you get like a fan and shell, like bottle of herb with like financial on the side or something? Yeah, yeah, and I got some amazing earphones that were pink, like, like, some champagne glasses like, yeah, champagne glasses, like, yeah, shampan glasses. Really thoughtful. And sometimes people get like a lot of

cash. Yeah, like sometimes people collect and, you know, you get that. So you can be on the receiving end of it, but like, we all agreed in the end, like we were talking about the other day, weren't we? Like, you just end up passing the money around. So, like, yeah, you get a lot of cash. That's great. But you've effectively, you've effectively, that one of cash, if it's 20 people, you've given that amount of money

in the year to those presents. And controversially, if someone's birthday gets missed, or someone's leaving and we're like, do I like them? What, if someone, like, joined for a year, got married, birthday, like, chill first child, and they just milked it and they're like, see you. Married first child left. So that definitely would have happened. Yeah. I think there just needs to come a point where the big celebrations find, like the maternity, that's a big thing, like, for someone to go on maternity event.

It's a lovely gesture. Yes, birthday is a no for me. But, like, I remember people then started to do, like, new house, new apartment. The new house is ridiculous. Like, you just like. Moved House. Sorry. For your housewoman gift.

What? I like, I like, more clutter. No. I think I like, if it's someone's big birthday, like doing something like, like, and again, this is contributing a little bit, but maybe a couple of you go buy some balloons. Yeah, like, decorate the desk. Yeah, yeah.

And hopefully, you could definitely do that for like less than a five, but you don't need to spend a lot. And then, like, celebrate them. But then maybe for maternity leaves and, I don't know. We used to do buffets. Yeah, buffets, bring you own food. That's fine. I think food's allowed.

Food's fun. Yeah, because then everyone eats it there and then. You're not like blindly handing over. Yeah. And someone has to do the collecting. Well, the life admin piece. The life admin piece. was always, I always felt sorry for people that would go and do, like, Sue's our friend.

Like, she's amazing. She always is so thoughtful and she's like, so this person is poorly, let's get them, she's the busiest. She had 19 minutes sleep last night. She confessed in our group. 90. Yeah. Sorry. Not that that's a little better. She booked a holiday for like 17 of a family. She's sorting that out.

She missed the gym. So I was like, why weren't you at the gym? Because we knew she was at the gym because she was booked on. And I was like, and she did turn up because the alarm went off and she felt that she needed more than 90 so Sue's but she was she would all I can imagine

even her being really like senior at her job would be like so it's Adam's birthday we all need to and I'll get it

because that's just a kind of person that she is she's amazing I'm not that I'm half and half I'm half I will hand the money

over then but I do use and we've talked about a lot of the time if you are doing office whip around collective app

oh it is the best app I've got four um Pots on the go at the moment yeah it's amazing

but the I think we might I've talked about it before, but, like, so that one person doesn't have to collect. Is Sandra collecting? No, she's the first country. Let's say it's Sandra. She doesn't have to go around and collect everyone and chase for money because it's also not just, it's also like, oh, we're all going to go out as a team.

Yeah. The deposit is this. Yeah, so when I always paid your deposit. Oh, hindoos and stag dues where it's like, I need your deposits by this. I need this money by then. And also, like, really annoys me when we're collecting like the teachers, off of birthdays and stuff, that you just get bank details from someone. And I'm like, because I use my phone.

The bank details are a screenshot on a. different what's that. You have to write it down or get two phones. I can't remember a phone number. So then you have to write it down and then you add them as a payee. And then that person might get 20 payments into their bank account. Who's it from? Where is this app? Literally, you send people hyperlink. They take the payment like a payment on a card. And then you can just track it and the admin. It's still there, but it's a lot easier. If you're a Taipei personality, you'll tend to have a few things that you're raising money for. I find like someone's saving collecting for the teacher's leaving gift

and then at the end of year gift and then someone's collecting for the football coaches if you're that personality you need that bit of organisation it's so hard to keep on top of it. But as the type B payer I like it as well. Because I got all doing it a bit

if it's the bank transfer I'll do it in a bit but if you give me a link yeah and I'm paying you there and then it's all connected I can pay it so yeah office route rounds I definitely feel

you could control it with boundaries and I don't mind being that person which is like so we were thinking all I need to do is speak to one person I need to talk to one person they don't have to agree and then I go excellent

Sarah said she doesn't want her so I'm standing up for her Sarah we've decided that Sarah thought we all stand with Sarah but there's nothing one with being that person that goes should we start

like we talked about as a Christmas can you be the person that goes let's not do gifts let's do blah blah blah let's go for coffee

let's go for breakfast yeah honest to God I hate that the gift thing is weary. Do you know who it's weary for? Women, men don't give a shit. They don't do this. They don't do this. They don't. Do they, so we worked in quite a female heavy space. Do you think any of our male members of staff would have gone? We wouldn't have collected. Would they have paid? They'll just go, yeah, when I'll pay.

It's Lucy's moving. We should get, we should get Lucy a plant because she's moved house. No, you're so right. On reflection, even lots of different types of men that I worked with, none of They'd hand the money over no problem. No, no, but they wouldn't have started it. But they never would in their brain be like, oh, Laura's leaving, we should probably get some champagne glasses. Like, what a lovely idea. But a man would never think of that.

How lovely is that to just wake up and just not think. So they start with more money and they finish with more money. Ladies, we're being absolutely rude. Yeah, oh God, well. So, team financial, we're never. We don't do it, do we? I'm going to put money in and rotate it around and redistribute it. When I'm 40, I don't want you to buy me anything.

I'm going to decorate you there. And you're not getting anything either. You're first. People don't know that I'm the elder sister. Why would you? I hate when people ask. I'm like, like, it's not obvious. I hate cards.

I hate cards. Yeah, Neil, my husband hates cards. Anniversary cards, birthday cards, wedding cards. Just cards. Like, I like, cards, like, from my mum. Yeah. And from Alex. They're the only ones that, like, I would keep.

And, like, oh, there's a really. nice message in there, like grandparents. And yeah, I do keep them like. Do you ever look back through them? Yeah, I do. Okay. You're allowed. I've got a nice memory box. Oh, see, you're allowed. But like, I'll rip the front off and just keep the like, do you know, like the hand or a note? I love that your mom probably spent three hours like, which one will she like? And you're like, antagonizing, you were like, she wrote in. I got one that Woody wrote to Teddy for his most recent birthday. And it was like the most gorgeous. Oh, yeah. I love you. My favorite person in the whole world. And then he wrote on the envelope, happy birthday.

to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday. And now a six-year-old asking you 12,000 times, how many happy, and I'm literally singing it back out to him, happy birthday. Over and over and over. And this one, I'm like, oh. My friend Sam's always done good cards. Yes, always swear words.

Always swear words. Ahead of a time. Yeah. Still does a good card. Yeah. She's allowed. So I actually kept some of hers as well. Yeah.

yeah like other than unless it is a really good card like something from that thoughtful yes where they have like four cards we love all the traitors ones and stuff don't we're like yeah or like i said like from my mum or from alex where it's actually got a nice letter don't i'm not keeping a card that says to lucy from yeah why bad dad yeah written by my stepmom they're so expensive waste of absolute life i was looking for teddy free birthday and i was looking at all like the thoughtful ones. And he literally, all he does is, see if there's money in it. It's when you open it and you have to, the money falls out and you're like, oh, must finish ruining. And then pick up the money. Didn't see that. We've got an amazing

toy shop in our village and she's an absolute legend. And the, the cards are a pound, all of them. And so you can, wrap in paper, she'll wrap it up to you there and then. She'll wrap it for you in the shop. She'll actually write the card for you. But for the emergency, like child birthday party. that little kids like getting anything. It's like sometimes I see a card and you go, that's a really nice card and it's like £3.50. Literally.

I think I've got a limit in my brain where I'm like, I won't pay anything over £2.50. I've just created this like fake limit ceiling. And then you go around the corner and then you're like, ooh, grab a bag of Pringles, yep. Minstrels, £2,0.5. Bargain. Okay, sorry, I've laboured the card thing.

I'll get it out once in a while. Okay, time for our first dilemma. I'm in the build phase and I feel stuck. Hi all, I'm currently in build and I feel a little stuck. I'm a single mortgaged homeowner, so I feel I have to monitor my budget closely. The last couple of months, I've had some big bills from car and boiler repairs. Though my sinking phones covered costs and I didn't need to use credit, which was a major win, I feel really frustrated that this has stalled my progress in building my large emergency fund.

I'm aiming for £10,000 by the end of the year, £12,000 eventually. I was almost there and ahead of schedule, but now I have to slow my top-ups and divert some money to replenishing my depleted sinking funds. The easiest pot to flex is my social fund, so I've been doing a lot of meet-ups for walks in the park, etc. But last night, I went out for a family birthday. I drove, stuck to water and didn't have a starter. They wanted to split the bill, but I said mine was £20 less than the split. this caused some problems and really made me feel uncomfortable.

How do you balance building along with a social life? I know I need to be patient, but I feel like I just wasn't aligned with how everyone else lives their lives last night. Builds a drag. Yeah. It's such a drag. I was going to say that. It did you?

Builds a drag. I was just about say, between friends, and we created this, build can be really boring. and painful it's big amounts it's chunks uninspiring no adrenaline

pain in the ass it can be no one got everyone got excited at beginning the build survives fun everyone was fed up danger zone

living life on the edge could go either way like very dramatic lot to talk about lot to discuss yeah and wins

because if you're doing the snowball or the avalan yes you're winning you're paying off debt so stuff goes and you go screw you, Klanah, yeah you get the visa cards gone

cut for you car finance. You can see it in the community like people, the survivor like whoo, woo! And then people at the build are like I'm so, tired. I have empathy because building our emergency fund felt like it took forever in a couple as well. Like you're in your own. Imagine

you had already bought a house, imagine you saving for your house deposit and your emergency fund one after the other like emergency fund, the big emergency fund, house deposit. I get why you're all miserable. It's like zootropolis, is it there? The sloth. It's like, I feel your pain.

You have my, you have my sympathy. Like, it's not fun and it's not exciting. But trust me, when you get over that hill. Gros fab. Because you can have a bit of a, we always talk about, like, you're allowed a bit of a celebration and grow. You're allowed to use some of that excess to do some. If you've been going without for a period of time.

And if you get bored, you can change. it up, so it grows about, I've become debt-free, I've got an emergency fund, I've bought a home if I want to buy one, and I already, by default, contribute to my retirement. What do I want to do? And so I have to do that. We literally, you know, our income can fluctuate depending on, on different things. And so some months, my excess can do the kids gices extra into both of our pensions and extra into our stocks and shares ices. And some months, it's just the gices and we don't do the extras um which again massive flex but that's where you get to and grow and this like you know this might be you have choice this might be like 200 pounds altogether

that we split or it could be 2,000 pounds that's the you can change it up and sometimes if you want to flex up and do more for travel or to kind of put more to a little bit of renovation you might pause the extra stuff and that's your time where you build it your sinking funds but at least you can't You can't. You still have to do. What's the emergency fund I need? Let's hit that figure. And then what's the house deposit if that's for you?

And there's such big amounts usually versus the debt. Like a small debt. Like a phone debt of 90 pounds. You know, your handset for you, whatever it is. You can knock that off pretty quickly. You can sell a few things on minted. You can forego a meal out. You can't do that for like a 10,000 pound emergency fund or a 25 grand deposit plus

stamp duty. Like you can't. I think advice that we're given on this before is to have, if you've got a big amount of money that you're saving for, split it up into smaller chunks. And then when you've hit, say, you want to save 10 grand, get to 2,500,

then go, and then I'm going to give my month, a month break or whatever. Yeah. Actually, people have done that way. They don't, they budget,

they flesh out of the budget more. They stretch the boogey it. Life is hard. Life is short. Life is difficult. Like, you have to enjoy yourself. And I imagine that would have been quite stressful.

When you're so dedicated, to reach, you know, it's like the calories thing it is, I always compare this to calories if you're on a, you can go on a cut and it's through a period of time and it's defined, and it might be, you know, we've all been there where you're like, right, okay, actually I want to feel good, I want to do really well on this race,

I want to look nicer, I've put on a bit of weight, whatever it is for you, we've all, like, we've been there where for a short period of time we want to do something, but it's not sustainable and it's not helpful and it's not healthy, it's not great for our mental state, more importantly. so you have to have these like not lapses that's not right but you have to be a bit more relaxing build which is also why it's harder because it takes longer I think this she's

asked us two different questions so that that's the first message about build which is you're not alone you're feeling right it is a slog divide it up and celebrate if you can and you will get there and also you know things happen to speed build up like I've done I remember getting like a tax refund um on something or like a a a I I got a sinking fund that had some excess in. I was like, oh, I didn't have all that. My car insurance came in cheaper. Let me put some of that towards my.

And, you know, birthday money, you might get something for, you might get birthday money from people. You've seen people top up by with birth. I love it. I was a week ago and they were like, I got some birthday money and I put it towards this because it was really important for them and they wanted to get there. So sometimes chunks start to come in and you go,

oh, actually, that will speed it up. So the other point is actually about boundaries stroke managing other people's expectations and I'm sorry that you are made to feel that we can't split the bill or you're not split the bill or why and some of that might have been you because we're all very aware

and someone else might have been whatever and it does depend on the people you with and their kind of personality types where they're at in their own money journey so depending on who it is I always advise talking about it at the beginning I'm going on WhatsApp,

family WhatsApp before you've even gone before you've accepted the invitation and you go FYI really want to come but I'm watching my money money's really tight because I'm saving for X

I'm doing this so I'm going to I'm not going to drink I'm going to drive I'm not going to have a starter and I'm going to pay for what I am is that alright because if it's going to be a problem

I'll come to the next one and you shouldn't have to do that but even I just think you will feel better or when you sit down at the table and when people are ordering, I've done that before as well because I was like,

well, I'm always like my food. And I went out for dinner with friends at the weekend for lunch. And it was like a bit of a sharing. There was a three for 20 pound thing and it was a bit tapassy. I think with tapas, it's a little bit like that

oh, Gavin and Stacey, Indians. Chinese thing like... Lamb made a Prona, yeah, yeah. What we ordered and you're just going to share and he's like, no! Yeah. No!

You have to know the boundaries of the meal. Like, what are we doing? Is everyone all right? because it looks like tapassine. If I pick three plates, I don't want you to reach over and have mine, but then if you have something nice, that maybe I want to.

And then, like, my friend ordered, like, a spatch cock chicken. I'm like, was that going in the middle? It does, like, has been the specials board. Can I guess who that was? It wasn't. No, it was a lot.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Be it. She thought that was you, Gemma, and it was on, it wasn't Gemma.

It was Sam. Sam shocked at you. But Gemma, I think, was a bit like, oh, you're hungry. I was like, no, I want to. because we want to catch up because we've not caught up. But I don't like the pressure of the way she was coming over. And I don't know what we're doing.

And they've eaten there before. And I haven't. It was really good, by the way. I can't pronounce the name of it. But it was a gorgeous Italian, like, chichetti place. So I was like, what are we doing? I love it. What are we doing?

I'm panicking. She's coming over what we do. Yeah. And then we all did. Well, so then I had my three choices, which I was like, and I don't mind sharing of other people, big other things and whatever. Sam stayed quiet and then when I want a spatch caught chicken, I'm like, are we sharing that? Like, I know, we've just said, Janet, this is why we're needing this discussion because she's just, she's just gone rogue and she's the first one to order.

I can't share a spatch got chicken with you. And then the woman comes to me next and I was like, how do I follow this? So I pushed them around the other way and it was fine and I'll do last. But coming back to the sitting down, that's the right moment. What are we doing? Yeah. And you can get engaged with people drinking and they're not drinking. I think definitely doing it on WhatsApp, having that conversation.

If you don't want to do it in person, you'd feel embarrassed or whatever. Then you don't ask yourself in the space of people. Yeah. Be brave about it. Can we just talk about, we asked this the day you said, what's the game plan? You were going for a Chinese and I think Laura said, what's the game plan? Yeah. What's the order strategy?

What's the game plan? So, me and Alex had a Chinese with his family. Yeah. And like. Extra isn't it as well with like extra. In laws. Can be, yeah. Yeah.

And like, Alex knows that I hate sharing food. So it's funny because like. I'd be like, I want single vermicelli, I want salt and pepper chips, like these nice sides, a barbecue sauce. If a Chinese doesn't do barbecue sauce, I'm not having it. Oh, because I was just a lot of sauce. You need some sauce, though. Yeah, like the sauce that you get on the ribs. And you need that, though, because that would be quite dry.

Yeah, like, there's no sauce on a vermicelli. No, and then the salt and pepper chicken, you're going to need water. Sorry, I'm really into this. And then, like, Alex's mom is like, oh, well, I love a few chips. Alex was like, no, we'll get two chips. Like, eat your gate you're here. He's a green flag. So we over-order so much.

And then I have like a plate and I have like five mouthfuls and I'm like, oh, I'm stuffed. And you're, we've got Chinese food for like five days. Oh my God. And you've warned everyone off not to share. Yeah. But you eat too sweet. I bet they're like, fucking bitch. Yeah.

She never lets me have a dip of that sauce. I just hate sharing food. Why? I don't know. I think because my brother's very predatory about my food growing up. Oh, so you're panicky. He's always like, are you done with that? He's done with that?

You've been scarred. Childhood trauma. You want it in the left-overs? Or just to finish the food on your own plate and he's taking it away. For me, it's the idea that... Trauma. Oh, I like that, right?

He's going to have some... I want the option to have more. Yeah. But if it's been taken, that's taken away from me. And then I will finish it and be like, well, I want more. This is where Dad's very, like, he likes to sharing. He's like, so we can act.

Like, he loves to share. Carl loves a share. Yeah. Because he like, he doesn't like missing out on someone's good choice. There's not a lot of food for a little. I'd be like this. Stay away. This is my choice.

Make your own choice. Yeah, Alex's dad did come out with her like, well, we'll just order like that many meals and then I'll just have a bit of everything. I'm like, you know, I'll have been having me about it. It does push you when it's sat in the other room. It pushes the bill up, doesn't it though? Because what we end up doing is almost... I'm not relaxed.

I can imagine you have picked up with Alex and you eating yours in the car and then going in and being like, I've had mine. Protection. I'd love to know what other people do. What are the strategies people have for... tactical takeaway when you're sharing. I don't like other people being in control of my food and when I eat and how I eat and like a...

Do you know, and it's like a thing, I remember hearing, I think it was the girls' bathroom podcast like ages ago and they were like, I think it's really hot when like the guy orders for you. Like on like a early day or something. And I was like, that would be my worst nightmare. And it's like, we'll do the lobster pasta and the this and this. And that's all.

My husband can't make a decision. who would love it if I ordered for him every time. I would be so annoyed. I don't like, well, I don't like mushrooms, so you can take them out. And I don't like, I don't eat lambs, you can take that off. So you don't know me at all, do you? I love the trending sound on TikTok where it's like, for the lady, perhaps a salad, perhaps not. I'll have the steak.

Smothered in onions. I like it when the girl's got a pint of beer or something. Yeah. Perhaps a prosaco. Perhaps not. What we're talking about? This was about strategy at the meal. Oh, yes. We've obviously digressed.

but it's all very important it's about protecting your food desires and favourites and if you've waited for that Chinese for months because you don't happen to have it a lot when you do like you are

it's funny though once you've eaten you're like oh I was probably overthinking it's like oh there's an untrished portion of tips there when I was angry but yeah I think either before you even sit down

for a meal flex social money is the best pot to flex when you want to be a bit more harm and be a bit more intense, isn't it? Because you do have more options of that, your groceries, you can optimise what you need to be able to eat, but you don't have to go out to eat. So it's the one that I use stories of like,

if we want to slow down a bit, we want to do a bit more investing, that's the one where we'll, because I always like to over budget it because we always used to go over. So now there's always something left in it. We've wanted to go tighter. That's what I'm going for.

I'm not really going for anything else. It's easiest one to flex. Good luck. You're doing amazing, Sweden. I'll meet you all for a water. And then when your meal comes, I'll go. Yeah. I think we should make some, like, build, like, dopamine ticks.

Okay, that's a good idea. To, like, get them out of the trenches of it. And I think it is at splitting up the goal. Yeah. And having those many wins. Because you've got strong financial foundations in place. You are allowed a little bit of leeway. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Okay, community win. I've got two months until I pay off my car. And thanks to my new financial mindset, I'm keeping that. thing until the wheels fall off. You could literally picture like a Fred Flintstone car. I always picture like the in-between as yellow car. Yeah, it's got a name.

It's that. Laff at their cars. Yeah, yeah. The feeling when you've almost paid off your car finance and then when you pay it off and the car is just yours, I always remember that when I paid, I'd paid mine off years ago and where I used to live, it was like a courtyard of cars, like it was a development and all the cars were in the middle. And I just remember looking around, because it's fairly nice cars going, I think I'm the only person. I suspect I would love to know the stats.

I've never looked at it. But, you know, for a particular type of car, that kind of middle class wealthy-ish car, like, no, you're not your inch-level ones of which most of those are finance as well, I'm sure. But what I mean is not, they're all newish. If a car's, like a BMW out. To four years old, five years old. That's the plates that you see in. Yeah, how many people actually walk into Audi and paying cash for that? I mean, Alex was playing this game at the moment because Alex is in like a new core obsession phase. And we were driving and it was like, finance, finance, owned.

Like, it's a new game that we play. And we always talk about it's a no judgment thing. Like there's some people finance cars affected through through a business. There's a lot of EV incentives nowadays. There are certain situations. But we never say, don't do it. It's not our place too, but what we do say is, be very mindful of two things. One, how is it going to impact your budget going forwards?

Because you're just about to voluntarily whack a big cost in there that's a legal requirement. It's a finance agreement. And two, for the car you're picking, obviously it's not that you've got the cash there and you've decided to go finance it. You've usually not got the cash there. But if you did have the cash there, is that the car you'd buy? Because if the car is like a 30 grand car or a 25 grand car and you had 25 grand cash there, I don't think you'd buy it.

I don't think you would. And so this is the whole thing with car finance is not that it's easy or that you're greedy or that you're going above your stations. It's literally just about context and fitting it around and you go, if you had that cash, would you buy that one? Because if you would, then you kind of like, not debunking, but you're booking the trends because trend tells us that with credit, we overspend, definitely. The amount of people that I know, you can guess what salary they're on. I'm talking like intern level or like graduate or whatever it might be. And they're literally driving around in these cars.

And I'm like, I just, I'm so happy to not be in that space. Like I'd much rather travel. I'd much rather invest. I'd much rather have an emergency. Thinking funds should something go wrong when it does. Well, often they've not got on like the property ladder. If they want to do that, they've not got on that yet. They're at home.

So you can afford it because you look at the monthly payment. Yeah, because sometimes people on social media are like, how are we meant to save for house deposits? Everything's so expensive. I'm like, all right, give me your expenses. And I'm not saying the avocado and toasting. I'm going £300 a month to your car. Yeah.

Let's start there, shall we? You're like, yeah. It's a choice. It's when you, the people just say it's the best thing they ever did. And so she's so close to that. That's really exciting. Freedom. Tell us your car name in the community.

Yeah. Okay, head to the community in the app or email it to the vault at financial.com if you have a win for us. Okay, next I'm an accountant and I'm drowning in debt. Hi, I recently discovered your podcast and I've been really enjoying it, but I'm struggling. I honestly don't believe being debt-free is positive. for me. I'm 37 and I've basically been in debt since I got my student overdraft at 18. I've told myself time and time again that I will get out of debt. I've even had significant periods up to a year where I've managed to not use my credit card and yet every single time I fail. I can't convince

myself that this time will be different. Why should it be when I've repeatedly proved to myself that I can't do it? My debt has gradually increased over nearly 20 years and I now have over 12k of credit card debt. My husband also has credit card debt and a car loan. We have a mortgage with 13 years left and a six-year-old son. We both work and although I now earn an okay salary, the minimum payments on our debts are so high that there's nothing left over. I did our budget in the app. Our fixed expenses take up 76%. Flexible expenses 15% and sinking funds 8%. And that's just even the bare minimum. Our monthly excess is just £19. That means it would take over 10 years. to build a one-month emergency fund at that rate. The only good thing about our finances is that I've

built up a decent workplace pension, but that is no help to us right now. I just don't see a way out. Our son is high connection seeking, so I can't take extra work without impacting him. I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life, so I at least now understand why impulsive spending is such a difficult area for me, and I'm getting better with it. But it doesn't undo the damage I've already done. The irony is that I'm an accountant. I love a spreadsheet, but that just adds to the shame, because people assume that I should be good with money. I was going to post this in the app community, but everyone seems to be doing so well I couldn't bring myself to. Even if this never gets read, it feels good to write it down. I've never said

all of this to anyone. But if you do happen to read this, do you have any advice on how to convince myself that I can do this? First of all, you can do this. We have had people in horrendous financial situations. I'm talking hundreds of thousand pounds worth of debt since we're 18, same as you, who are like accountants. We keep seeing this pattern come through of people that in their day to day lives are so in control of money, so astute, so like they've got it together, that they feel like more shame or more pressure to perform financially in their personal life. But as we well know, it's so personal. It's so emotional. It's so emotional. driven and if you have ADHD tendencies, impulses ascending is so easy to just run away with

itself when you're trying to manage that and your emotions and money. So I think I wrote back to this person anyway. I've seen this dilemma come into the inbox. Just to say, and I think I had to just say, just so you know, we have so many people that come through with these dilemmas that are in control of money in like high pressure situations and can really thrive. But when it comes to your own person when it's a completely different story. Interesting that she's, like it's very... Because you can anonymise yourself in the community a little bit, but she still didn't even want to share it.

It makes sense, but actually I had not really thought about what that must be like for someone that feels like they want to get something off the chest. It feels like they want to ask for help. And we want the community to be a safe space. It is a safe space, but more balance, yeah. And so actually that's a little bit of a message to anyone who... I might put a post in at some point and say, like, for those people that are a really good place, tell me about when you went and share it, because people see, like, success, but they don't see, you know, the moments where you get your car declined at Tesco, like I've had before. I can't pay for the food shop, but you've got, like, a nice car outside and you've just been on holiday.

It doesn't make sense. Yeah, that's embarrassing. It doesn't make sense. So, also, when with it, you're a lawyer, you should, why can't you pay? for your Tesco shop? Is it because, like, of something genuine that's happened? No, no, it was just me, just because I didn't manage it well. Like, it's, um, and the, the 90% personal, 10% finance in personal finance is very

crucial here, like accountants and, you know, financial advisors, I know some financial advisors and you show me their budget and you'd think that because of the rules of compound interest, they would be happy to kind of get it all in the market and invest it and they'll splurge on something. Yeah, they'd rather be, you know, misdecision once in a while. Fit in with the peers that they're servicing, but they're now friends with. I want to pay for this golf club membership to get nice clients, like, yeah, arguable whether it's, you know, lifestyle crete, you know, it doesn't match. One thing I would say about the accountant thing is you will have so many, like, she said she loves a spreadsheet. She loves the sister.

She loves a spreadsheet and you kind of have to put that hat on and see your personal budget as numbers. We have to remove the emotion. I know we've just talked about how emotions play some of you're being paid to run it. It's someone we're paying you to run your own budget. Name it something in the app that's like,

business budget one. Yeah. It's like playing a game. Because you'll be so organising. I have so many systems in places and accountant. You have to be it's your job. Like you are paid to do that. You kind of have to see your money

that you manage at home as like everything has a job. just like it does at work. It's trying to... Yeah, and it's really hard when it's your own budget because like... So where they are now with that fixed expense ratio

is a product of the early decisions and we can't get away from that so like the student overdraft thing like, honest of God, she's not alone. Like we're giving 18 year olds, three grand overdrafts, tens of thousands of pounds of student loans

and maintenance loans, tuition fee things. Like there's lots of different options, credit cards. And she's 20, years later. She is not alone. Like, it happens so often that actually it's a massive ick in the industry really that it's quite, it's a delicate time because what, it's not that I'm opposed. If I'm being honest, I'm probably not opposed to the offering of credit students

because I have been there with some friends that have nothing. And this is the way of getting out of a poverty cycle and they're grafting and they're working and it's expensive. And So the idea that, oh, it's not very good for you debt, you know, I'm not that person. But they're given no financial education, no financial support, and these banks kind of just give the credit cards and the overdrafts. And I just feel like there's a, and the universe is charged their feed. And they extend it. And they offer more.

But there's no support. And honestly, it really, really shocks me that they, like, imagine if a, because not everyone is then on the breadline. So people take this credit. it like I did I paid for a ski trip with my student loan what I'd have paid for I think I went to Mexico not like with Neil not like a not with Camo yeah yeah yeah but like yes we did it in way yeah great and we're okay but that was one decision and what if it was stacked and we wasn't it was an expensive when we went but that's another thing that's hard like her loans obviously

would have not been anywhere near what it was but she talks about her. it is now, but she talks about overdraft. So she's got a fixed expenses to a position where even on like a, um, taking it seriously level, that that is hard because it's just where you're at, like with all the different finance. So if you, you may have already done this, but if you've not, and if I were you, I'd start the beginning. I would try like, try, you've got your existing budget, but let's start again. Go to the playbook in the app. Read through it again. Have a little think about your mindset and where you're at with money and how you spend it. and how you make decisions when it comes to finance

because before you start this properly, you have to be very sure that you want to pay off this debt and you want to not use credit again because this method doesn't really work if you're going to ever go back. So there's a lot of mental work to be done before a spreadsheet is even relevant. It's like, are you ready to do this?

Are you ready to lean in? And if you are, it's like, right, game on. So then we look at, you know, she's not touched about whether she does or doesn't have a mini emergency fund, but that's the first thing we do and we look at the budget. The money MOT in the app, which is in the free books right at the end, is a really good way.

I would even like, like, retent to do it with a friend or Hollyo's jokes, like give it to us and we'll be like, right, okay, objectively, this is where we see options. So things like, you know, in absolute dire straits, the mortgage is an option. Like this is the, like an absolute direstrates option. But if your mortgage payment is unaffordable, like have you looked at refinancing, have you spoken to a mortgage advisor, have you spoken to the bank? Are the things that if it's, especially if you're struggling to pay, which I know you've not said, but that's usually the biggest one. When does it come off a rate? Have the rates come down? Like some people that could be on really high rates might see in about October on coming up for renewal, I'll be able to grab at least a percent down. So I look at every expense and go, what can I possibly do or when will that change? Council tax is kind of out of your utilities. Like sometimes you can switch deals. You go one by one and go, what can I do? And see. what you can do about those fixed expenses in um it doesn't sound like you're not got loads of debt and we we rarely recommend consolidating um and the reason that we find that people struggle with consolidation is they feel like they did something really impressive and they brought the payment down but they just

pushed it down further and and a lot of evidence shows that you just rock the debt back up and then you have the consolidation loan as well yeah you just need those quick wins so you need you need to find we always talk about a little bit of movement and gets the flywheel going so it might be that you talked about how with your child it's not possible for you to take on extra work. There may be some homework that you could do. There may be some freelance work. You could be able to do bookkeeping. I'm sure you'd be able to do that at home. You go on Fiverr.com or ask around. At least you're in the vicinity of your child and you can get maybe, I'm not saying it's easy

is that we've all been there. Oh God, you imagine doing it next to all our children. But exactly, are there options? And if there aren't, is there options for your partner? Can you sell things on Facebook marketplace because what we're talking about here when you say you've got a 19 pound excess i absolutely understand that and we've seen that before but you don't need to do a lot to suddenly turn that into a hundred pound excess yeah and 150 pound excess it might be i'm doing like three bank switch deals this month go to the app search for money deals blog we do one a month you could make two 300 quid in the next three months doing

two and your partner can do it that's what mean i've done double up that's like 600 quid that that's how we get it going so there's momentum because you need you know you you'd be mento when there's a period of pain and honestly that's how it works because you just get a bit of movement and then you get excited and then you get a space in the budget and you build from there I would obviously also really happy to have a private chat with you outside of the vault if you um because what we've said here we've got your budget you may be like I've absolutely done everything yeah then we'll have a look at it separately but from our experience there's always something that can be done usually miss something of like a subscription

or there'll be a this or that and you're like, you don't think that's a lot but over the year that's like 300 pound that you could pay down your debt and then that chunks one off and then that's 300 pound excess

per year extra. There's usually something. It's called like a red diary review when they do it in like national security and services or like lots of times when you do like game plans game plans

you will do a mission and then you get someone else to look at it and you've not thought about that you've not thought about that so you're human if you've like not done it amazingly and if you've not been challenged But the big thing about the excess, don't forget, is you need to up your income and decrease your expenses. And you can usually only decrease your expenses so far.

So there'll be some little things you can do, but some big income movements, even one-offs, they don't have to be every month. It could be like a big Facebook marketplace like thing, a big bank switch. Job change, yeah. As in, we know that you get, it's like 30% you can get by moving to another company rather than hoping for a pair of using your existing job. You can move around a lot of as an accountant. You should have got lots of options. And those are the longer term things that you should actually seriously look at, look at. But a little bit of movement will loosen this whole thing and start the momentum.

Best of luck. Thank you for messaging in as well because it sounds like it's quite a big deal for it to share that. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Okay, that is all for this episode. The Vault is now closed. And just a quick disclaimer, The Vault is just a chat on life for many topics. We're not giving financial advice. Thank you.