The Vault with Financielle - "I'm Earning More Than Ever But I Have Nothing to Show for It" | The Vault Episode 116

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

#ad A special episode, brought to you with our friends at Compare The Market 💙We asked about the worst lifestyle creep you'd witnessed... and the bestie who "couldn't possibly do economy anymore" had us 😭Compare the Market's latest research shows one in five (20%) said they kept their pay rise a secret from friends and family.This week we're getting into two very real money dilemmas:💸 "My Daughter Spends Like There's No Tomorrow"💸 "I'm Earning More Than Ever But I Have Nothing to Show for It"Got a money win or a dilemma that's been living rent-free in your head? Share it (totally anonymously ) in the Financielle app community or email [e-mail] You don't have to figure this out alone. More honest money chat at financielle.com

Welcome to the Vault with Financial. This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. This week, we are delighted to bring a special episode in partnership with our friends at Compare the Market. Have you ever seen your expenses and spending increase when you earn more? You could be experiencing the lifestyle creep. You're not alone, often experienced slowly and over time, it can catch anyone out. This week's episode is dedicated to helping our community navigate their money dilemmas connected to lifestyle creep. Let's get into it. I'm going to go out on a limb and say, I don't think any of us are immune to lifestyle creep. No. I think everyone, there must be something that we all started somewhere and then slowly but surely added stuff. The internet doesn't help because it's just like a quick, oh, you know, right move.

I'm going to put that one out there first. That's a biggie for people. The minute that there's an inkling that there might be more income, like generally over time, not just like a one-off. It's like, oh, my, you know, my salary's gone up. That means I surely can get more. expensive house and surely can get a new car and surely like and then the internet seeps in you can just look like I'm a browser like it it's like the um oh god I can play on where's that I'm a browser internet I'm a browser I think back to probably you're the biggest example of this whole like when your first job was like slave labor with a really big company and it got paid so little it was like you know well it was like an internship how it starts and stuff so it was a very very low pay and it was a very low pay and it was she got paid so little it was like you know well it was like an internship what how it starts and stuff so it was a very very low pay and

And so you start work and you've got a fund, you know, getting there in a car and you've got to pay for parking and you've got to pay for your lunches sometimes. You might take lunches and you start there. I think you did get lunches actually. Maybe that's why you were paid so little. Yeah. They were like, what free things coming at? School dinners. School dinners.

Yeah. School dinners. But then you will sit in a team and there'll be a manager that's paid some more. And they talk about their new car that they've got. Oh, they were always getting lunch as well? like the interns had to go and get them lunch and stuff because they could afford it because they got paid more Oh so they didn't go pick us up some lunch yeah

I would like a they're not going with Tesco meal deals out of the problem And so you as you see that So then that like mentally checks in doesn't it And you just like hold it there And then when you move rules or get a pay rise Do you automatically think I'm going to stay exactly as I am And I'm going to save the difference

Or I mess the difference or do whatever Or am I going to go I now can get those things I think it starts. It's learned behavior. You're right. When you see like a manager or like the types of holidays, then they go on when I think of other businesses, other businesses that I've worked in,

it's like, so then they go to like the really nice five-star hotel and they go for the private transfer. Yeah, and there are business class lights and then you find yourself looking at stuff and you're like, no, no, this does not reflect. But the more money that comes into your household, it's really hard not to just go and spend it and not think to invest it and put it to other things.

And do you get a bit lazy? Do you stop comparing prices on stuff or finding the best deal? Because you're like, I can afford it so it's fine. Do you get a little bit lazy? Like when you've got that lower income, are you a bit more frugal and do you squeeze your expenses a little bit more? Like, I think you just chill a little bit and kick back. That's like when you said, the way you're describing it, Lucy,

I was like, I think we've all done this or have the potential to. And I think people think the next pay rise or the next big job or something is like the golden egg and the thing that you're waiting for. But if you just spend this, like, up your spending in proportion, you've no more money. And that's why I think some people like, say, I've got to this stage of my life and I are not earn this and I have nothing to show for it. That's, yeah, lifestyle creeps definitely. People do say that don't think I've got nothing to show for it.

Yeah. Like I've got all the things. It's so common nothing to show for it. Well, this week we asked our community to basically dub their friends, neighbors, family in. We asked what's the worst example of lifestyle creep you've seen? Where did we ask this? Did we get people in the community on the app or on Instagram? Community and Instagram.

Right, okay. And it was popping off. I've got a very long list here. Will I do you managing them coming in? Yeah, there's so many. Did you have a chuckle? Yeah. I think people love, we love being anonymous confessors.

Yeah. And then we love dobbing. Yeah. Tipping off and dobing. Pure grasses. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'll just list a few to start off. Stopping looking at prices on menus, on menus.

My neighbours have two brand new cars on their drive every two years. My neighbours had an electric car charger installed, but they have petrol cars that are less than two years old. Cars seem to be a massive thing. We've had cars quite a few times. Do you think that's because it's so visual as well, like, look at my car. Yeah, driving onto the car, car car car, driving onto your estate or whatever, and you've got the new cars. like, oh, they must be doing well. That's like the immediate like assumption, isn't it?

On the driveway. Yeah. Our driveways at the back of our house, so. Oh, you're like, for us. Hours are at the front and we do not have new cars, but again, not bothered, but we are very financial. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's a very visible thing. And I think if you're in Hock, if you follow Finan Shell, you're like hardwired to spot them. So you're like, yeah. Two new cars. What about that cost? We do that drive for none. Can finance?

We literally, we were in, this is so judgmental. So apologies everybody. But me and Alex were in Cheshire Oaks, which was a good car spot in place. And there was this guy, he must have been 25. And he was getting out of this brand new, like, really cool range rover. Alex was like, God, he's young, he's got a really good car. I was like, Alex, he's probably like 80 grand in debt. Yeah.

It's not that cool. Yeah. But he did, Alex equated the car with, oh, wonder what he does. Yeah. I wonder what it does for money. Like, we can't help. Literally. Yeah.

Do people like respect that person more because they're like, oh, they must. stood them really well for themselves. You know, if they're coming out of a really flashy, expensive car. Yeah. Like, you see a G-Wagon. Like, Molly... Molly May lives near to us. Sometimes, like, Tommy Fiore is always in the village.

Sometimes lives near. Going to, like, Pacino's and stuff and... I've outed him there. Don't wait around outside, will you? But she's got, like, a 250 grand, like, G-Wagon or whatever. And we saw on the other day and they was like, I think that's Molly May. And I was like, if not, it's a girl that is absolutely raking in cash somewhere else.

It's like that's 250,000 pounds, minimum worth of car. And it's like with that kit on, it's probably touching about 300,000 pounds. And I just could not comprehend 300,000 pounds, sat on my drive. I can't comprehend that Neil knew who Molly May was all that could possibly be him. So, cars, big one. That's crazy, isn't it? We've got someone I know got a massive pay rise and suddenly got cosmetic surgery. Christenna.

Yeah. She's... Her pay rise is. It's slipping. The facelift is slipping. I saw that same video. Oh, poor Chris. Dylan's not. It's a great facelift. Let's be honest.

It actually was like. Yeah, she looks like 20. Yeah. I was like, who is that? Younger than all of her children. I know if that was my mom. I think that inspired my mom, to be honest. Fancy lunches, phone upgrades.

M&S over Aldi. Supermarket upgrades. Cleaners. Yeah. You're a fan of cleaners. We are. Oh God, yeah. Don't do without my cleaner.

We, it's absolutely one of those things as well that creeps into a budget later. So it's, you know, if you're on a strict budget, a cleaner is unlikely to, a super strict budget. A cleaner is like a, it's a, I'm trying to say, I can't go about that this morning, guys, not enough coffee. It's a want. You can't, you don't have to have one. I agree. Like, we, when we were in debt and stuff, there's absolutely, all where I was working. as an internet, whatever those things, absolutely no chance. You still would have liked one.

I would have the same person. I would, yeah, I would absolutely have loved one. And then we're at a time in our lives where we've followed this, you know, methodology for so many years. We've got exes in our budget and we make a decision as a family, like where do we want and need things? And it's definitely a want. So it would still come at the end of the list when you divvying up your access. I have a fortnightly one rather than weekly. Yeah, same. I'd love her every day. My son cried when he realized that he met her when it. it was half term and then he cried when he realised she comes when he's at school. Yeah, that's an example of one.

House upgrade. I imagine they have a massive mortgage. Bestie will now only fly business class. Couldn't possibly ever do economy. That sounds like someone we know. Fancy gyms. Yeah. That's a big one, isn't it? Yeah.

It's so expensive. But again, not a need. Yeah. but I want. I've gone backwards on my gym. I'm half the price of my. Go on you went up to a boogie gym. It's not even bougie.

I've done the same. It's not really big. Yeah. We've both more than halfed our gym membership. I mean, it's been so worth it. Same. I love it. I would never look back.

My boyfriend put a deposit down for a brand new car with his bonus. That's like a false sense of security because it's like a bonus. It doesn't happen. Absolutely. It's not in time. But then you're stuck with a monthly car payment. That's true. I think that a bonus is quite dangerous, isn't it,

to have a bit of lifestyle creep because it's effectively could be a one-off. Yeah. Yeah. And then a lot of dilemmas that we're getting sometimes or people that message into Instagram they're like, I'm waiting on a bonus or they're always waiting for that bonus to do stuff.

It's like you can't wait. Yeah, you can't get it spent quick enough. Yeah. A lot of my village is living on the never-never. Is that a credit card? Yeah. Lily Ellen said that. She got stuff on the never-never when she was younger.

Never Neverland. Yeah, it says a lot of my village is living on the Never Never, it's why they all can't get divorced. That is fantastic. That's another dilemma for another day. My friends' children aged 10 and 13 have been on more holidays in their short lifetime than me at age 60. I think that's someone might have written about my kids. Yeah, yeah, absolute pampered princesses.

Someone also said on Instagram, these boxes aren't big enough to spill the whole tea. Oh my God, renting a Lamborghini on a monthly basis. Ooh. Lydia said she would do that with a Ferrari if she won the lottery. So did you? No, that was me. Oh, that was Lisa. I did it in a promise.

Sorry, for the benefit of the audience, Lydia looked at me horrified then. So that I panicked and then Lucy also looked to be horrified and said, that was me. I'm going to have to improvise this. No, Lydia. You were thinking, how impulsive have I? I've changed my mind like so quickly. No, it wasn't you. It was you.

extra bunny hutches in the past. Dylan, does that give you a nick when men like rent cars on the monthly? Oh, absolutely. All right, okay. I get the bus. I have a licence and I get the bus. Love that. So much more.

You said bus, but then you went more northern England and said buzz. Buzz? Yeah. I used to live with people from Wigan. Not us. A different life time. I forgot you used to live with people from Wigan. That's cool.

I love that. So it's a bit of a nick, isn't it? to pay for a car monthly because it's like, you're not rich enough to go the whole hog, but you'll rent it. This is a bit left field, I'm obviously going wide here, but on LinkedIn,

a PA friend of mine used to be PA for me back in the day is PA for a really big CEO. And she said, can anyone help out with a place that you can rent supercars? Apparently this is a thing now. I'm having to source, a supercar for my

she's her boss I'm sure he's like maybe not on LinkedIn don't care my boss is son's prom and that this is a thing and you only like I don't know that's lifestyle create like to source one that's a job for the PA to go and find a supercar

like what happens to chucking in for him all I know how that's the phone bit Hummer a homer 50 kids coming out of it yeah dividing by 50 so like the bus oh my god

go that would be Double-decker. Getting a buzz to the school party would be iconic. My friend bought a car on finance. She's stuck in the trap now. For me, it was Hunza G Swinware. Yeah. Is it any good?

Because I get followed on Instagram. Yeah. Is that like the stretchy ones? Yeah. It's like old school 90s. My husband and his designer frames for his glasses. Oh. That's my mum.

She like couldn't possibly wear. Spex Savers glasses. I don't know what it is. And then I got my Spex Savers glasses. And she was like, oh, they're really nice. Where are they from us? Spec savers. She was like, oh, I don't like them. She said Gucci. On that, on that, I would, I've thought about this before in that industry. Like, I remember like when you, your mom's getting their eyetess and you're looking at the glasses and you're trying them all on and they're all designer. It's such a really weird thing to be designer. And I'm starting to thinking, like, they are not guest glasses and they're not Tom Ford. Specks or the brands as well. But companies

and it'll be the underlying providers anyway, probably not the retailers, but glasses makers will absolutely just license the Tom Ford name or the Gucci name. They're not Gucci glasses. They're glasses that the same provider as the SpecSaver's own ones make and they just license the name.

They really do like... Do you remember us going to get our eyes tested? Do you remember this? And they were like, yeah, you just need some like basic reading glasses and me and Laura like trying them all on and came out with some like red Prada Like, I only needed them, like, a little bit of reading. I swear to God, we must have been about 12,

and I'm walking out of this. Do you remember? I do, Trish. I kept them for years. I don't know. Because you hold on to them. But when you said your mum couldn't possibly, I get that. But, like, the problem were the same, aren't they?

Yeah. I think she knows that. She's just like, it's the principal. Yeah. I need a big DG on the side. Yeah. Outsourcing everything cleaners, cleaners, ironing, gardening.

Can I just say if I won the lottery and we did have this conversation another day off the pod or had an inconsiderable injection of monthly cash you better believe I'm getting someone doing my washing

an ironing a hundred and ten percent much more than going out to more restaurants or anything, no better car anything like that that would be my... Because that's like buying time buying time back

for freedom. You're absolutely right the time I'm all for buying time back and that would be on my top of my leg That's like an approved lifestyle creak. Do you reckon? I think so.

It all comes down too. And this is really like true in businesses a lot actually. Can you increase your income and not proportionately increase your cost? Yeah. Sorry, I don't know you can proportionately, but not exactly increase your costs. So if you make an extra £1,000 a month, don't whack £1,000 on your expenditure. You just end up literally the net same. But you might spend £200 extra £200 on some extra help or £300, £300.

You've still got 700 to kind of play with as part of the, I've got more in my pocket again to put towards things that grow your net worth rather than just spending that extra bit. I'd love a ironer. Yeah. Never iron in my life, but we'd love to have someone stop for me. Actually, yeah, people don't iron anymore. I mean, I definitely don't.

I can tell her kids' uniforms when they go to school and I'm like, don't take your jumper off. You'll be fine the way I'm covering my t-shirt right now, guys. My husband's iron's teetoles. Stop it. Nguised ironed our knickers. She did. My dad used to see that.

And socks. Sox. They would feel so nice. I know. I get it. I get it. I feel like a princess when she does it. Yeah.

A big press machine would be good. Yeah. I don't want to do it though. Maybe Carl could do mine. He would love a press machine. Don't even need to pay him. You just get still. Do pinies as well.

Next to your jeans. I think the most I've ever done is hair strainers. With a top. Yeah. It's quite a good skill to have. To not burn it. No, just to like, because you go on holiday. Maybe it's not an iron.

Don't worry, I've got my hair. I've got my straightness. I have done that in an emergency before. Laura and I aimed your hair the other way around. That has been done. Laura and I have once tried to get all our creases out of a bowl gown dress in the centre of Manchester before like a gala dinner event thing and set the hotel viral arm off in the Radisson.

Oh we did We would try and run the steam in the shower Because we saw it as a hack It was just left in there for like an hour And then the whole fire alarm The place is going off Getting a phone call from reception being like Is there a problem like

The fire alarm's going off in your room We're like Oh it's a good We're like And then open the bathroom door And it was just like And the dress was still increased Yeah it didn't work

You could have just paid us 10 pounds To Steva Literally And it didn't work So Should you lend money to family and friends What is an F off fund How do I

build my emergency fund. Well, we're so glad you asked. Head over to financial dot com where we tackle the money topics you actually care about. Okay, time for our first dilemma. My daughter spends like there's no tomorrow. Hi ladies, I'm coming at this from a slightly different angle. I'm writing in about my daughter. She's been doing really well at work lately and recently got a really well-deserved promotion. I'm so proud of her, but I've noticed that as her income has gone up, so has her spending. Deliveroo most nights, parcels arriving constantly, subscriptions, little luxuries here and there. Nothing dramatic on its own, but it all adds up. When I was her age, I was really careful with money. I had to be. And I suppose I always assumed that she'd be the same. But I think the world that

she's grown up in is just so different. Everything is so convenient now. One click, next day delivery, food at the door in the next 20 minutes. The temptation is everywhere and it's relentless. I don't want to nag her or make her feel bad. She's worked hard for the money and she deserves to enjoy it, but I also worry that she's not thinking about the future. Am I being old-fashioned or is lifestyle creep something this generation just doesn't see coming? Such a good dilemma. Also, these generations, different generations don't understand what it's like for youngsters nowadays. Like, is she being a bit judgy?

Well, she nods to it, doesn't she said she's growing up in a very different, like, era. So I think she's not going straight to the daughter. Yeah. She's like, can I just check with you guys? this normal, yes. Like, life is not the same as it was when we were, what is she in her early 20s? Did she say how old she was? I'm imagining in my head. Yeah, I'm imagining like, she's living at early 20s and she's in her early 20s and like just kickstarting a career and starting to climb up that career ladder. Like it's, you get influenced so much not only from the colleagues

that you're sitting with and we've already spoken about that where you follow what your manager does and like if they're going out for drinks on a Friday night and getting the champagne and going out for nice dinners, like you want to aspire to be that. as well. So you kind of are influenced by them in a way. And we all work in the same company, so I should be able to do those things as well. But social media, friends, keeping up with the Jones is like you can see so much more now. We all live in this like glass bowl. There's no secrets. Like back in the day, you wouldn't have known, I wouldn't have know what you were doing at the weekend or what clothes you've just bought unless I saw you. Whereas now you are posting it,

I am seeing it. So I want to live it as well. Also, technology has massively changed. So I went and got an early coffee yesterday morning at about 7 o'clock in a city. And there was loads of delivery of people outside. And I couldn't help it. I can't help myself. I'm chatting to the barista. I'm like, people getting coffee is delivered. And he said, well, that one's actually for a workplace.

And there's like 12 pastries and 12 hot drinks. And typically like, what, that's such a good use for someone would have had to go down three of them carrying all this coffee. And instead it's been bought for them. But he said, but that one and most of them are usually like students that fancy a comfy and a pastry and can't bother getting out of bed. And he was laughing and joking. But actually that technology wasn't available when I went to university. I remember going to university.

And the takeaways loved students, obviously, like, they're wanting you to get takeaways every night of the week, really, really cheap food. And usually free delivery. And like, I had, because of where we grew up, you couldn't get food delivered. Nowhere in the village delivered food. You still can't.

Oh, you still can't. That's true. You absolutely can't. And in our town, as it come to our house, like, your friend's like, I'd love a Vietnamese. And we're literally like, okay. She's right. And she's used to be able to do that. Yeah.

And we have to walk for it. Like, there's a thing. It doesn't come to us. And we're not like rural. It's just not quite admitted to us yet. But I remember being like, oh my God, mom, you won't believe it. Like you could literally get. And they used to give free delivery because they were competing.

I digress. But it was that I used it because that was available and it hadn't been to me. So nowadays, like the fact that you, like, the fact that you, you can and technology has enabled it. It means it is a least path of resistance. Maybe someone's being clever with the time. Maybe like actually I'd like to. But, you know, what's quite expensive is not a five, six pound coffee, if that's all you get,

could be eight, nine, ten pounds once it's delivered as well. I'm surely it's cold. But it's easier to do. So when she said like deliverers and boxes, it's used, you would have still gone shopping as a student. You would have still gone into Topshop or something else cool, maybe. I was been like a super drug. Super. Oh yeah.

It's like. It's a horror. But it's being ordered. It's, you know, the parcels are coming, whereas she would have come home with bags. And so I think you see it a bit more. You might see it on social or you see it arriving at your house. But it probably was always there. I think going back to, for me, there's two things that be super helpful for your daughter.

One of them is to really show the art of the possible in the future. future with money. So like she's so for the hearing now and I think we all want to live in the current like live your life and YOLO and enjoy spending your money like something about getting your first job. We're like, get it, spend it, get it, spend it. Especially when you've got such low responsibilities maybe, you know, there will come a time where you've got to pay for a mortgage and council tax and all the boring bills and so there's an element of wanting to give a bit of, you know, release for her to be able to spend a little bit. And like, like physically I bought this with my money. I went, I got a pay rise and I did this. But she, she's,

show of the path that if you carried on doing this, you'll never have anything. And you have time on your side. Young people have the ability to get their money compounding so much faster, whether it's saved or and or whether it's invested if that's right for them. And it doesn't have to be a whole part of your budget. You can start small. And if you can get into that mentality, and we do that with our kids, which are much younger than obviously her daughter because they don't work in her money yet, waiting for that time. But we encourage them to save a bit and spend a bit. well, it's actually invest a bit and spend a bit. To get the balance of both,

so at the moment, it may feel like she's going literally one way, which is spend, spend, spend. And she is an adult, and so you just need to give a little, like, nudges here and there and give her something to aim for. Because I think young people, when they've got a goal,

they get really excited about it, they get really passionate about it, and then she can use her judgment about how much she could spend versus how much she should invest. And then secondly, does she have a budget? Because it's a real bonding opportunity for you,

especially if you use finance shell, especially if you use the budget in the app, sit down and go, when you leave here, things will be harder. And so she might be like, stay here for as long as possible, because I'll be being here.

But when you move, you're going to have to manage a budget. And so why don't we start now you manage your budget? Look at what it would be like if you had rent and if you had utilities and if you had, because that can stop people doing things like getting into car finance too young.

Yeah. Or it can stop them. overspending in an area because they go, oh, actually, if I didn't have like this roof over my head, what would life be like? And it's like dipping a toe in to being like big girl budgeting without the pressures of it. And obviously the financial budget is just the access at the end. And so if there's nothing left over every time you get your pay rise, you don't, I see this is if you get a pay rise, pocket it for you. If you spend it with everyone else, all the companies get the pay rise. Yeah. Why should all the companies get the benefit of your pay rise? Yes, you get a little bit of

stuff but you know it's got a lot of consumerism isn't it so use your pay rise for you as well as these companies and you're going to get that right balance I think do you think but how does she raise it with the like I like the idea of them doing it together is like a fun little project rather like yeah got a lot of packages what you spend in your money out's not going to go down very well is it let's be honest and you want like it's the positioning of a budget as permission to spend so it's like you seem to buy in loads of stuff like what is it you really like is it beauty is it fashion is it eating out? Let's create some space in your budget. And there's so many fun, and we've talked about the benefits of technology, so many good ways to manage your money now

and personalise it and make it fun and aesthetic. Like we all use Monzo, we use styling at Revolute. You can personalise the spaces and chase as well. You can make budgeting fun. Like back in the day, it probably would have been quite laborious on a piece of paper. Like it's not really fun and aesthetic and interactive. Whereas now it's actually really fun to, oh, I find it fun, to create a budget and put a picture like what is your goal? Is it to save up for a car? Is it to go travelling? Is it to have a really nice holiday

to go out for nice meals? Like, what is it? Let's create a budget so that you can do that. So framing it is like a positive thing. But also why don't you invest as well? Because investing is really cool and showing the compound interest graph. And especially if you're young because you have time on the side.

It has to be that much as well. You can show some really big figures to people in the early 20s just by getting them to be a bit savvy and then use the calculator and you can start with, you know, 10 pounds, 50 pounds, 100 pounds, show them what it does. Because when you show them those calculations, you can get them excited about, actually, that does grow into something impressive. It's not like locking it away, squirreling it away.

See, it's not like it's... Or catching up, which is what all those millennials feels like we're trying to do because we didn't, we weren't aware of that, you know, concept when we were in our early 20 years. We don't remember what we bought from Topshop, but some type, I don't know. I don't know, some very iconic people. Bring back iconic Topshop.

Back to my first night out outfit the other day and it started with I was telling my friends white leather knee high boots and everyone just burst out laughing and I was like no but they were

really nice and were from Top Shop and although they were under long jeans like she was like you would have a tribute I'm not positioning it right too all no I think that's good advice I think you need to approach it

not naggy because in my I personally would just be like I'm going back up with us. And you might lean into it further. You might be like, Rebell. Yeah. I'll show her parcels.

Struggling to make it to payday, the financial app helped me track my money, pay off debt and finally feel in control. I've built savings. I've started investing. And I actually feel financially well. Download the Fanichel app and start your money comeback today. Okay, time for a second dilemma. I'm earning more than ever, but I have nothing to show for. it. Hello, lovely ladies. I'm currently in this really strange position. I'm earning the most I've

ever earned and yet somehow my lifestyle has crept beyond what I can comfortably manage. I'm renting with my partner who's just finished his PhD. His funding has run out so while he's still covering half of the essentials from savings, our joint income is pretty low at the moment. And I've found myself naturally picking up more of the nice to have spending, the luxury bits at the supermarket, taking us out for dinner once a month grabbing us both a coffee because it just feels unfair to give up the little treats when he can't afford them right now. I'm also learning to drive, which I'm really grateful to be able to afford, but despite having a decent salary, I still can't seem to end the month without being £100 in the red. And when I'm honest with myself, I know exactly why. It's the small

impulsive stuff, the coffees, the snacks, the convenient purchases, the things that I justify with money comes back around or it's just a few pounds. But clearly those choices are added. up. I've got two things I'd really love your perspective on. How do you rein in lifestyle creep when your income has increased but your habits have quietly scaled up with it? And how do you balance wanting to treat your partner and yourself without letting it quietly sabotage your finances? Very reflective. Like she absolutely knows where she's going wrong. Like you don't need us to tell you anything. You've kind of answered it yourself. You know, it's on those little treats. Like, treat yourself. I love the little meme that's going around of like, I'm,

a girl pouring a glass of champagne with a friend, and it's like treating ourselves coming from girls that have never not treated themselves in their lives. They hide themselves something. And it's so true. And she acknowledges that she's in the red every single month. Like, basically the math isn't math in. Yes, your income has increased.

But you're also taking a bit of responsibility for someone in your life, which I love as well. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, like his income has halved and he's using his savings. Like that must be quite stressful. And I would get really frustrated as, well if I was earning more money than I ever have in my life, but you feel like you need to pull back because someone else isn't. So she's taking like one for the team and I love that,

but it's not working. Like the math's just isn't math and it would be quite a simple fix and that's literally sitting down and doing your budget together. And there's like much more dramatic examples of lifestyle creep. You know, we talked about them earlier when we were doing the dubbing on your neighbours kind of chat. Like you can lock yourself into long term car deals. you can look at homes that are kind of out your reach. You can level up your holidays. These are like either long-term commitments or big, big purchases. But actually, it's remiss of us to not talk about the small ones.

So when I feel like what, yeah, maybe a couple of our friends back at our old work used to do this, but like we got a pay rise or like a promotion or like I'd treat myself with a handbag. Like I don't know. I've got memories of I've got this. deserve it like a tangible gift to yourself. This is me to say well done. And I think there's a little bit of that here. And I think this is very human. I think we'd all be possibly guilty of this, which is, you know, we deserve it. Like we've done well. We work hard. Actually, someone externally validated that and gave us that promotion or that pay rise. And they've agreed with that as well.

Therefore, I have worked like, I deserve these little things. I earn way too much to not be able to go get a coffee or to not be able to us to go out for dinner. And so during this period, and I think it is like a period of chapter where absolute green flag, her partner has savings. And so he is a he partner. He is able to contribute to the running of the house. So it's these treats that she's having to fund and she's overfunding them. She's not sticking to the budget. I think there's two things here. One, it appears that's for a period of time. So there's a period of time where this will go on for. This isn't like in perpetuity and she's not having to support them, yeah, for them both forever. But you have to play the cards you've got and the cards

you've got are limited household income for a period of time, therefore adjust accordingly, you know, because otherwise you're not going to have any extra savings. You're not going to move forward in your money journey. And then the other side is probably like a mental reset and a like a self-talk that's not, I deserve this. I think we can convince our of anything and let it go a little bit. Don't attach your worth to things and to your salary. Kind of crack on as normal. Like, find joy in the normal, fine joy in the basic, find joy in the, like, set a goal.

Oh, actually, I'm going to save, actually, I'm going to save during this time. Imagine if we come out on top. So I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I might have a little budget over here. Yeah, because it's for a permission to spend and have fun. But during this time, you can't afford to do those things.

things as a household if you want to get ahead. It won't be forever. And so you're not any less of a person for not, you know. I didn't like think of it like that. Yeah, she's connecting her. Like, she must be feeling frustrated. Like, I have worked so hard for this and I should be able to afford these things. And it's like that will be true eventually when your partner gets like the job that he's done his PhD for. But at this very short chapter and it will, it will feel like a long time, but when you look back, you'll be like, oh, it was literally like a period of like six to 12 months or whatever that you can possibly rain it in a little bit. Yeah.

You can flex that, especially if you've not committed to those, like Laura said, fixed expenses of lifestyle creep, like a more expensive house or a rental property where you've gone, do you know what? I deserve the nice city centre apartment with the balcony. I deserve it. No, for this period of time to make sure that you both feel financially well and that you're not going into the red and going backwards, you might. be out of the city with no garden, with this, that and the other, because it's a short-term

painful long-term gain. It is a, can be a lovely chapter of your life where, and I see people talk about this so often, do you remember when we didn't have a lot? Do you remember when? You can actually romanticise that time. Like, my husband and I talk about, do you remember when we rented the smallest house in our village? Literally.

We could possibly touch either side of the house, a living room. but our daughter was born in that house you know and it was the smallest rent I have ever had but one of the most enjoyable and most fulfilling and it reminds I feel Holly's secret at the moment

which is every so often she looks on right move for a downsized house to see if she could hack it yeah I'm like the reverse of everyone that we're talking about lifestyle droop is it a lifestyle dream

but I like to know in my brain should shit hit the fan in any way in our lives, if we're ill or were this, something happens, could we downsize and would we be happy? I'm like, I can live there, I can live there, I can live there. And I don't know if that's like a pessimistic view on. It's more like a, would it be fine to actually make us deal better.

I think it's grounding. And I think that, you know, it's so easy to dream of the next big house or the next big thing, but actually romanticising, going smaller. that being nice and a positive, like I said, people go, do you remember when we had nothing? And we used to, do you remember when we just have beans on toast? That period of time when we were paying off debt, when we're building up savings,

we were saving for our first home. You know, we got those really rubbish salaries. And actually, there's joy in those moments, whereas, like, in some cases, I find the little treats a little bit empty. And it's no judgment, because we've all been there. But, you know, yeah, we're going to go out for a nice meal. We deserve it. And you're at a meal, you're like, we're the nice meal, which was at home.

The service was shit. it wasn't actually that good. Yeah. Yeah, I think start romanticising things is the key. Like, make your coffees at home. Like, maybe you just invest in a really nice little travel cup, which is probably the price of two coffees. And, like, you make them both at home for, like, you and your partner.

Like, if you clearly like doing, like, acts of service for people or your partner, like, it doesn't need to cost money. No. No, and ultimately, you know, like, embrace this time and get your money shit. together. So go back to the drawing board, especially because if you can, if you can plan out roughly how long it is going to be for, so it sounds like his funding has run out, but sometimes you've got to finish your studies. You've not fine, kind of finish the element of the PhD. How long do you think this is for and when will he work for how much, you know, model that bit out?

But in the meantime, you know, go back to the drawing board together and do a money date night and start with your budget. What are your fixed expenses? Remind yourself of those because those can creep sometimes, sometimes it's subscriptions and things, but sometimes it's not switching new utilities, not, you know, like, literally this episode happens to be sponsored by compared the market. Go on a comparison website and go line by line do a money MOT and see if you can optimize those expenses. Then go to your flexible expenses and see where can I optimize. Like we always talk about food.

Food, if you're organized and if you dedicate time to it is one of the best places that you can meal plan, not buy stuff on the go and actually have. food that you really, really like and enjoy, and work your way through those. And you might find that you come out the red anyway on this really tight budget. And the other thing you do is like do some model future budget. So, okay, when he gets a salary, what does that look like? And even now, it's fun to think, like, what would you add in? Because this coming all way back to what you said at the beginning, Lucy, this is about lifestyle creep. And as you earn more money, you are allowed more things. But there's a real strategy and fun.

involved in diverting it to things that grow your net worth, like what are you saving, what you're investing? Are you looking to level up in house? Like we've talked about house upgrades like it's a bad thing. It's not necessarily. I mean, it's one of the historically it's been a great wealth-building tool for people because of the housing market. None of us know at all what's going to happen with the house market, but at least it's an asset,

you know, and hopefully you benefit from capital appreciation with it. So there's nothing wrong with like dreaming for the next move or something like that, as long as it's proportionate, as I always say as long as there's something else extra. because if all you do is creep your lifestyle, especially copying other people, when income goes up, you end up with like net nothing. So yeah, you are at how she started thought this through.

She knows I think we need to validate her and be like, it's okay to feel how you're feeling. Get tactical with it. Like one good thing as well could be to look at the last few budgets and be like, where did we go wrong? Like where would they actually add up how much you've spent on coffee? You might shock yourself and that might make you go,

no, I'm not doing it anymore. Like if you really really, looked at how many coffees and how much it was worth and all the dinners out. There'll be something that you're spending money on. I can guarantee that you will not want to carry on spending money on because you'll be like, is it worth, does it bring me that much joy? Yeah. Is it worth it?

Like there will be a monetary figure that sometimes I look at our budget and I'll be like, no, I'm happy with that. Like it brings us a lot of joy. It's our entertainment budget. I look at it every month and go, surely we can bring it down and I go, no, because I love to be able to. Love fun. I love fun. No, I love an activity I do. Like, it's like I love to do stuff with the kids and I love

days out and I love making memories that way. So I don't pull down on that food. I go, I can pull down on that. I'm being lazy. I'm doing a mid, I'm doing a shop, you know, distracted with people around me talking to me. So I miss things and I have to go do a top up shop in the week. And on the top up shop, I get distracting and I buy this, that and the other. Like, you can work on that. I couldn't work on that. So I just think a bit of self-reflection and looking and categorising and where those treats and things are coming from and really ask yourself, is it worth feeling like this?

I think I did that the other day with a coffee. I think I shared it on Instagram. I was like, I think I just felt I needed one, but actually I needed to pick me up more than I needed the coffee. And actually it was like, you know, like a two o'clock call and you're like, do I want coffee now? I don't want a shop bought coffee now. And I paid it off my mortgage.

Transmed 5'5.25. That's impulsive. So impulsive. That impulsive that I didn't need to leave the house. house made a cup of tea. Did you get the same dopamine hit, do you think, as getting the coffee? Maybe, actually, that's probably true. It did something because I knew I didn't, I knew I just needed a treat. So that was you treat. I have a little bit of vanilla in my coffee. Like, it should, it's, I connected to a feel good. I don't connect. It wasn't, maybe it was a caffeine

boost I possibly needed. I had a tea anyway. But I literally went, mm, five pound 25 off a mortgage. That could be cool. Go and do something else. Um, she's also learning to drive. So what are we thinking for when she's past core situation? We need. need to get in there early. Yeah. What car are you driving? How? What funds do you have to buy a car?

And that's coming. Don't pass your test and go, should go car shopping? Yeah. Plan it. You should already know what car, like our cousin's thinking about changing up his car at the moment.

And I'm already like, so what are you getting? How much will it be? How much do you have? Yeah. Like plan now. Don't get to, I pass my test.

Let's go shopping. Yeah. Because I should treat myself because I've done a good job. And if it's a car, and if it's going to be a car. with a sheet or a ribbon on it. No.

Walk away. Unless you've put it on it yourself from Card Factory for one pound. Okay, that is all for this episode. The Vault is now closed. And just a quick disclaimer, The Vault is just a chat around life and money topics. We are not giving financial advice.