The Vault with Financielle - "I'm going into debt for my son's £400 school trip"

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

While we work on the next chapter of The Vault, we're bringing back the episodes you loved most. 🤫This week we debate the controversial opinion "maternity leave should be fully paid for at least a year" 🫄, before diving into two listener dilemmas:💸 "I'm going into debt for school trips"💸 "I'm in a PCP agreement with my ex!"Plus a brilliant community win: one listener cut her credit limit so the debt cycle can't restart. 🎉Got a money dilemma or a win to share? Tell us anonymously in the Financielle app or email [e-mail] 💌You don't have to figure this out alone. More honest money chat at financielle.com 💖💸Connect with our Partner🫶 Protect yourself and loved ones with our friends at Lifesearch** The above is a tracked link, which tells our partner we sent you and may in future result in a payment or benefit to our site.

Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows.

Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Hi guys, Laura here.

We're taking a little summer break from new episodes, but we know the Thursday vault drop is part of your routine, so we're not going anywhere. Instead, we've raided the archive for the episodes you have loved the most, including a few that went slightly viral. We're working on the next chapter of the vault behind the scenes. We can't tell you much yet, but we're excited. In the meantime, keep your dilemmas coming,

share them in the app community, or to be completely anonymous, email the vault at fanchelle.com. Nearly 400,000 of you watched the school dilemma on socials and every mum we know had an opinion. Tell us what you think. We love a strong team. That's the pod. That's a wrap.

Action. Welcome to The Vault with Financial. This is a safe space where we talk all things, life and money and no topics are off limits. Howdy? Morning, morning. Howdy? Howdy. This ain't Texas.

No, it's definitely not Texas. Thank God. My daughter did a dance show and she did a cotton eye Joe. And she had like this red cowboy hat that had no glitter on it. And the dance teacher said, can you put some glitter on it? And so my husband saw a challenge and said, we will glitter this hat. Glitter everywhere in my house now. Like every shower I have because it's like you can see the

bit so that they just, it's a red glitter. But he glittered and glittered and glittered, so the whole thing is glitter. Oh my God. It's amazing. But I, Alby loves the Texas song. Yes.

Will not use the cowboy hat for it because that's what I got Nigo. I was like, well, it's like, please give it me. Like, come on, I'll have a go. You do not use that for Beyonce. How disappointing. We've got props in our house and we can't use them. Maybe we would make our own financial pink one.

I'm done for that. in the office. Next part you're going to see us all sat there. Yeah. Line dancing on the side. Okay. Controversial opinion time. Maternity leave should be fully paid for at least a year.

You speak to mothers who've been on maternity leave who will obviously say, yes, that's a great idea. But what do you mean? Do you mean the government? Do you mean employers? Like what do you mean by? should be paid by whom for a year before we get angry comments. I'm going to say employers.

Employers. Yeah. I feel like that's long. I think it's lovely and ideal. But I feel like it's probably long. I've been on three maternity leaves. The first one, I got six months full pay. and then like your holidays and stuff as well.

And then it reversed the statutory. And that was so welcomed. Like first baby. You don't even know what the hell are you doing. You know, you'd only just kind of got used to that salary because it was quite, you know, I was fairly young. And that was really important at that time. The second one, even though it was then six years later, was awful, like a rubbish,

rubbish maternity policy. I got way less money on my second maternity leave than I did my first and I got paid double. And so if you think about it, your expenses have gone up as you're getting older and you have more responsibility. It had a child in, you know, having wraparound care and school costs and stuff. And that was like to when you suddenly drop to the statutory, you just, it's so, so hard. I just don't know how anyone thinks that families can function because families have to function on two salaries nowadays typically. When someone's in a, when people are single parents, It is just, I just don't know how they do it.

I'm so impressed constantly, especially they don't get, you know, the proper help. Or you've got two single parents, like, you know, typically dad and mum trying to navigate running two different households. It's so, so difficult. So the idea that, you know, you can suddenly drop to one salary when you're off maternity. It was really hard. The third one was when I was at Finchelle. So it was like, I had a short maternity to leave, but I could be really flexible at least as well.

So that one kind of doesn't count because that was obviously our business. But also I think it is really. really important that employers offer that paid time because it's it's for it's for a period of time. It's not forever. And you end up retaining staff a lot better than if you don't because like you've just given back to someone at that time when they're in that time of need. Yeah. So it might I think a year is possibly probably unrealistic for a lot of employers, especially, you know, we worked in an industry where it was quite female heavy. That would be quite, I imagine, a financial burden on a company. And also now I'm out of that maternity leave bubble

because when you're in it, you're like, I should get this, I should get it. Like, let's not be around the bush. Like you feel very entitled because obviously you're in that situation. You know you're going to suffer financially. So you're very passionate about making sure that you get the best deal. But when I reflect now, I've got two older children, children isn't on the card for everybody

and they might want to do other things in life that's like a bit of a passion project for them. sabbaticals travel. Should they not get the same treatment in terms of like you're going to have a baby because that's your choice or not sometimes. It can be thrust upon you. It kind of wasn't planned. But you're going to be given that opportunity to have that break and dedicate your efforts

into kind of growing this child and building up a family. It might not be for everyone. And I'm much more empathetic towards people that don't have children and their passions and what they want to do and whether an employer will support them. So I'm much more balanced about it. Now, ask me years ago, I'd have been like, yeah. Do you know what's fair though? We've got friends who've had like unplanned children or children later and they've gone,

I was not as nice to people with children as I should have been where they've seen the other side of what it's like to run a budget on a statute of return to leave, what it's like when the nurturing you every day. Because the emotional turmoil. Going back to work early. Like I think that's what I hate. I think that I love it when people have. this is why we don't really do because if we can help people get on this financial well-being path,

even in the cost of living crisis, even when things are tough, we taught about sinking funds and what I really love seeing in our community is when people make that plan to try to become parents and pause their financial goals. Like they stop being as intense. They stop being as like, you know, maybe aspirational and go without on other things. Like they might not travel as much. They might not buy these big homes because they're like, we, know that's going to cost a lot of money. I want to get there and not feel like we're struggling. And so they build the pot.

They build the pot before they even have the child. And then when they've had the child, they've got money to sustain them and top up the budget where perhaps an employer can't fill. So I love seeing that. Yeah, because it's quite a vulnerable time. I think we have talked about it in the past on maternity leave. You constantly feel guilty for spending money.

You constantly feel like you don't have enough. You constantly feel like you're out all the time because you just need to get out of the house because it's really, truly very difficult and you could become a victim of, I'm just going to stay and not spend any money and that's just not good for anybody. So we have community members, like Laura said,

that we're going to start trying for a baby and build these funds up and the joy that those people have on maternity leave, you can tell, because it's just one less stress to take off. Yeah, and it's the same for like, you know, if you'd save him for a sabbatical or for travel or for a trip doing it where you're in control. But the big thing that is much more common now, Lucy,

but wasn't for us not that long ago was shared parental leave. So there's so much about their like gender pension gap and gender pay gaps and stuff all connected around this time of maternity leave and coming back from maternity leave. And there's so many men that just get that two week. And I just, and I feel for them so much because, and that was completely the norm. In fact, many people like wouldn't even take the full two weeks and couldn't afford to take. Or they'd take one week paid, one week unpaid. That used to be a real common.

Yeah, you didn't either write holidays or like, and just like, I can't imagine. I mean, if you've got a partner that went through a C-section, like, that's crazy enough, like that they need to recover and be looked after. You can't drive for six weeks. Just a quick one, Laura here, if you're wanting to take back control of your money, ditch debt, make better decisions and build wealth for the future, the financial app is for you. With Financialel, you can track your spending on the go, hit your money goals, and create a realistic budget that you can actually stick to.

Not to mention, you'll be part of an exclusive money community who share tips, offer support, and celebrate your successes along the way. Click the link in the description to download Fan and Shell and start your free trial now. This is your sign to take control of your money today. Okay, I'm done. Let's go back to the vault. Like, you were recommended not to drive for six weeks. So these poor women that have survived for years, you can't pick your baby at all. it's painful to do so.

But you're going to do the school run with baby number one. Yeah, I put a wash on. Because your baby's sick on every bit of clothing that ever owns just like, can project I'll vomit three meters in every direction. Sounds like you speak from experience. Everything needs watching every five minutes. There's a really good family picture of Neil's got sick all down in, but none of us realized.

It's really truly difficult. And now you have got the shared parental leave. And I know some really good HR directors that have, moved mountains to try and accommodate women and maternity to leave and paternity to leave. And they're not without challenge as well. Oh, it's a thankless task because, you know, people at the top have possibly had children a very long time ago and they're like, oh, with that, you know, they're over it now. Can your wife not do that? Yeah. Oh, God, the comments. But the fact now that men and women

can have really good parental leave policies and then dads can have that time with their babies and bond early. And evidence shows that when that happens, it facilitates a much more joint sharing of the life admin and the unseen work, the unpaid work around the home. The baby isn't seen as the mum's job. It's seen as our job when we take it in turns. And likewise, having the woman being able to go back to work a little bit, you know, if you want to do shared parental and not have the full year. So I think it's a little controversial. Maybe you didn't expect us to come down on the side of it's a bit extravagant or, you know, a bit large. I felt the six-month one for me was so good because I was able to save a little

bit to top up for the last three. And I think I took, in fact, I think I took a year off with my first one and I ended up six months paid and three months on statutory and then three months unpaid. But because of the balance, I was able to kind of save and spread out. And to be honest, that's where my really good money journey kicked in was when I was on maternity leave, because you shouldn't suddenly have to make the money stretch. I think a lot of people will do that and become budget nerds, like, you know, lots of men, lots of women. But like I said, the thing for anyone, you know, whether you're planning for a baby,

you know, we've talked about this before, same-sex couples, like you, if you're having children, it's IVF, so you have to work out how you're going to at least plan to pay for things like that. And we've always said on lots of topics here, cash is king. A good pile of cash gives you a shit ton of options. When you've not got a lot, that is stressful. And so the more we can help people edge towards these little pots of gold, then the world's joy if you don't get a year's paid, six months paid, or any paid, and you just get the bare minimum.

You've got your own back. I like it. Okay. But you never having children because you work with us every day. and you're like, this is that I'm not going to like, guys. You're thinking of that sabbatical trip. That's what you're thinking about.

She's going to Greece to swim with turtles. Turtles. Turtles. So dolphins in Greece. What, she knows? It's giving five out of ten. Not tortoises. I'll go and find out. On a year-long sabbatical.

Paid. Thank you. Well done, Holly. You've messed it up for us. Okay. Speaking of children. time. Time number one.

Hi girls. My son has come home with a letter about his summer school trip that he's incredibly excited about. The trip costs £400, plus additional money for spending, which is something I really want to give to him. However, as a single mum, my finances are tight, and I don't have enough saved up to cover the cost. The only way I can afford to send him is by dipping into my overdraft, which I'm very hesitant to do.

I've worked hard to get to the point I might now, and it's been a long, slog but I'm just four months away from being debt-free. This trip means so much to him and I don't want him to miss out on this experience as all of his friends are going and I know I'd get major mum guilt. On the other hand, I'm so worried about taking on more debt and the impact it would have on my debt-free journey. I've worked out it would put me back two months. It's a tough balance between wanting to give my son opportunities and making sure we don't fall into a financial hole. What should I do? Should I use my overdraft to pay for the trip and risk the added? a debt or should I explain to my son that we simply can't afford it this year. Any guidance

would be greatly appreciated. Oh, this is such a difficult one. I've got a head and heart situation going on. My heart says, my heart says, just do it because it sounds like you're such a good mum and you're so responsible paying off this debt. You're very in tune with how you think your son might respond and you're sympathetic towards that as well if you were to say no. But sometimes, I hate the life's too short scenario, but my heart is saying it's too much, like she's worked it out, she's not just irresponsibly chucking stuff on a credit card. She's already modelled how far that will put her back. Difficult as a single parent, my advice would be, can you get any extra cash from anywhere to help fund it?

Like selling things, we always talk about Vinted. Family members, I don't want to help contribute, you know. Set up a go for me. Like, I will give because I just want your son to go. But yeah, family members, like grandparents and stuff, like do you want to contribute towards his trip? My heart is saying, and I never do this. Everyone will be real shocked that I'm saying to take on debt,

but I fully sympathise. I don't want the mum guilt to eat her up for life as well. And I feel like she sounds... Is mum guilt powerful, really? Yes. Yeah, because there's so many different elements to it like your kid fitting in you know if we went to um i went to a charity ball last week um and it was the sudulo foundation's colour ball and they raise a lot of money for underprivileged kids

and um and paul the founder um of the company and of the charity it was talking about the kind of things that they do and they look after the poorest children in the country and it's even things like they give goody bags from like JD because the JD bag is a status thing like it's literally

a crack plastic bag but it looks like you've been aboard something from JD and that you've been there and they give Nike water bottles and it's such a cost

effective gift to be able to give to a kid but for acceptance they can take it into school every day it's a label it's a thing so you can imagine

like if you don't want your kid to miss out on a trip and And it is so important to feel like your child's accepted. So if you feel like your child can't go, there's always a limit to stuff like that. Like this isn't a £2,000 ski trip, you know.

But I would find out, is everyone going on this trip? Like this sounds a lot of money, £400 for a trip, a lot of money. I would also see about swelling your pride if you've got pride and head into that school and have a chat. Because there are always options at school. have, they could spread out the payments for you and say, like, can you make it in installments? Just because everyone needs to pay it this month, they might be because everyone's rubbish and they'll all forget. And so you may have the opportunity to pay it. They may have a, like a fund

at the school where they can help contribute to families, because I know that often happens. So a little bit you don't actually don't get. This is not something you're doing all the time. You are on a plan. You are getting control of your money. This sounds like a one-off. And so definitely like between asking friends and family, they want to contribute ahead of birthdays or like for your birthday or for anything, selling things on Facebook marketplace and you can and going into school,

you never know, you might get to a place where you can fund it. We don't want anyone going into debt for stuff. But there's probably some scenarios that like... She's so in tune with the numbers. This isn't someone just being like, sticking on a credit card, it doesn't matter. She knows exactly what this will mean to her runway.

And I feel like that, that in itself makes me feel like she after the desk got, yes. It would be the same. What we're doing though here is we're treating, and I think it's fair, we're treating the trip like the washing machine breaking because that's what you do.

She sounds like she's not got an emergency fund. Like this would again, it's something that you go, is this an emergency? It possibly is. It's that level of if this isn't all the time, if this isn't like a new thing every week. It sounds like something that you did not have the funds for.

So regardless of what you intend to do, I think this is an even bigger sign that you need an emergency fund and that pushes back your debt-free date and that will annoy you. But this is what happens. You're getting to a situation where you feel desperate and stressed and that's what your emergency fund's there for. And delaying one to two months or three to four months if she then pauses to build upon an emergency fund

will mean she can leap forward in the future. And the best bit about all this, when you can clear your debts. And even before then, like once you've got an emergency fund, you can start building these little sinking funds. And we've been caught short recently on a couple of things at the dance school that is cost. We've just got caught short.

I had no idea a school trip was coming up. And we're not supposed to know that. Like school are planning things and that's fine. But literally got a, oh, by the way, there's a school trip in a few months time. Can you pay the deposit by Friday? I'm like, whoa, where did that come from? That technically is, that was never in my budget. I didn't know it was a thing.

I didn't know it was coming. You need to tell the rest of the story. And then my husband rallied the troops because he thought it was really excellent. expensive and went in the parents WhatsApp group. I'm going to speak to the school. This is really expensive. And he managed to get some money knocked off. So he's very, very smug at the moment.

Walking around the school yard, like, you're welcome. Queen of the PTF. But again, you don't ask you don't get. No, the PTF raised money. I'm in the PTFA at school and so is law. And we raise money and funds to go to things for the school children. So they're definitely, I imagine, if someone came the Pita Fane, kind of, or the school and the school came to the PTA Fian. So there's a family

struggling for this from trip. It's like, no problem. You don't want anyone to miss out. And going to the school and asking, can they bring the price down? It works. Yeah. So you do what you feels right. No judgment, no financial jail. Probably goes against our usual advice. That's why it's like head and heart job, because with our financial head, we'd be like, well. No, the caveat is, if it's like an emergency, if it feels like an emergency, like the said about the, if your car brought down, and you had no emergency fund, you would have to use your overdraft. And so you have to get that emergency fund built up.

But if you think this is an emergency and you think it's not like the boozy trip, it's just the one that everyone's going on and you feel he should go, pay for it and learn from it. Also, single parent, is it worth it? I don't know what the relationship is with the other parent, but if there is one, to be reaching out to them and asking to share the bed at the cost as well. His parents. Yeah, yeah, everything. Okay.

Good luck. Okay. Community see you one time. little win for me today. I reduced my credit limit so I can't rebuild the debt. I noticed a pattern that when there was a certain amount available to spend, showing I'd spend more without thinking too much. So I've paid off a huge chunk and then asked to reduce my limit by that amount

so I physically can't start the cycle again. It's not a complete removal of credit cards, but for me it's a mohusive step in the right direction. I love this. How clever. It's not because you over willpower, isn't it? strategy over willpower is because if it's there, nine days out of 10, you might be able to ignore it. That one day could be your kill is heel and you undo a lot of work. And that is

human nature. That is not because you're bad. So yeah, what a great idea. Some really good, some really good tips recently in the community about debt payments. And I'm glad that they're getting shared amongst everybody. Like, I would never think to reduce the credit limit so I can't do that again. It's like habit, habit building. And that's what we're all about. Yeah, yeah. And that's why we say once you've paid off a card, like, close it. It's like cutting it up. It feels like that. Quit in the corner off. Yeah. It's making it a little. But that's what it feels like, doesn't it? It's very intentional. It's not like, I promise I won't use it again. I've decided. I'm not going to use it again. No, no. I'm literally, it will not be able to. Yeah. Do you see like American films sometimes? He put cards in the freezer. No. No.

Put like in a front and a box. Oh, that you can't use it. That's good idea. I bet that would still work contact with. me take the block of ice dripping everywhere just suck it on in if i want chocolate i'm taking that block of ice with me if i get a hair dryer on it emergency slight chamois i'm in a PCP agreement with my ex hi ladies i could really use some advice about a tricky situation with my ex two years ago we bought an expensive camper van together and i believe i'm the legal owner, though I gave him all the paperwork when we split. Since our separation, he has taken possession of the Camp Van, and he has been solely responsible for paying the monthly bills and all costs. I've mentally written off whatever I paid towards it previously. The Campervan's PCP loan

has both of our names on it, with me possibly being the primary name. Recently, I received an annual statement, and whilst he continues to make the payments, the looming debt worries me. It's a five-year commitment. My question is, can I legally enforce the sale to clear the debt, assuming I am indeed the owner, despite not having the paperwork? Even if I am the owner, I suspect it will be a while before the camper van is worth enough to cover the debt. Is there a way I can extract myself from this situation? I haven't seen my ex or the camper van in over a year now, and I'm feeling quite stuck. This is one I've never heard before. It's always the campavan. Campavans give me strength

I don't people want to buy a camper van Campavan manufacturers are absolutely rubbing their hands together Was the reason for the breakup Buying the camper van was a reason for the breakup Sounds like they were in love with it And someone got the child in the breakup Yeah I was giving like dog I've not seen them in a year

He's not seen them in a year I've taken the camperer One time I saw him for a past I mean First things first. You don't know if you own it. Come on. Yeah, this is a lot of like, it's quite important that you know this. This is Big Sister and Lawyer time being like, okay, let's find out what we own. And also you sound pretty confident that you're on the PCP deal. You'd be able to see that with your credit agreement as well. So if we wanted to do a credit report,

a free credit report online, have a little luck. You'll know that. You'll know the loan. It sounds like you know a little bit of that already, but just know that. And usually you're, you would own it if you're on the PCP because if it's bought at the same time together, you connect them both. Because what you don't want obviously is, you know, him owning it and you having the loan for it because he could sell it at any point and you're still sat with this loan. It's really important you decouple from the loan as well as the relationship. Do a Gwyneth and a Chris.

Yeah. Conscious decoupling. Because there's a constant ongoing risk that he still. stops payments, which impacts your credit. And there's a risk that then you incur charges and interest and you're responsible for that. So it's just a situation. I think what's hard is the negative equity point. I mean, I thought that Campofans are worth a lot of money.

Like how annoying that it sounds like they've overpaid maybe or they don't, she doesn't think the Camperfan is worth what the loan is. But you are going to have to do a little list and get ready and go back to your ex with a proposal, which is like it's really important that obviously I'm not on any documentation. If you want to keep it, you need to refinance. And so let me know when you've done that and buy me out of it. And you can say I don't want any money for it. I've written off, you know, the money that I put into it.

I mean, try for it if you want it. But otherwise, say that's fine. But I want to be off this agreement. It makes sense for us both to be off this agreement. We're both at risk of each other defaulting and kind of putting a black mark. So hopefully you're in a place where you can do that. But this is why even when you're together, it's just you shouldn't, mortgage is probably the only thing where typically

there's a couple of things. One, you both own the house. The house is usually worth more than the loan. But this is why you get into the situation of like remortgages and buying someone on our house because you don't want to be tied. Tied to a debt that you're not even in control of. Like I said, he could, I don't think he could sell the proper, the camper van. Well, it could sell it like illegally kind of thing.

But if he doesn't own it, if you own it, if you own it, then you're the only need to be the one selling it. But he could sell it to anyone. And it's not a good, not a good place to be. I would want to be removed from that situation. Me too. Do you get no enjoyment from it? Yeah, you're not even getting benefit of. You're a borrow it.

I'm going to call it. I want custody. I want joint custody of the camper van. But he's trashed as well. That's not cute anymore as well. Well, yeah, this is the, and it's like, it's important to try and tie up as many loose ends as possible financially when you end a relationship because a year later to go crawling back and go, can you just start this? You know, there's, there's a moment of time where, like, you've now not got possession of it. You don't own, you own it, but you've not physically got it.

And, um, you're in a finance agreement. And that's the same for everything. Like, wherever, wherever is possible, don't get joint finance agreements on anything. I've seen it so many times where you have someone that's got better credit takes on a car loan for their partner and then they just stop paying it and you're left with a car and you don't even actually physically have it. This is a really similar one. And it could be a loan for a partner because they've not got good credit and I've got a job. So I've got a loan out for them.

And then suddenly you're in a point where you're left holding the loan baby. So look after your own finances. Try not to tangle them up too much in finance agreements and where you have you need to do. I did see a really good. I saw her TikTok where a girl showed a presentation that she'd done for her. I saw her on TikTok this presentation that a girl had done. And she shared it. But she was saying this is the presentation I did for my ex about us divided our assets.

And I was like, that is uncoupling, conscious uncoupling and whatever, Gwyneth and Kristen. It was like, so this is what we have. This is what I propose. You keep that money. I was like, this is mature separation of assets. And I don't think they were married either. I think they were a boyfriend and girl. Yeah.

I think if a few more people did that, we'd all feel a lot better. How very mature. Okay. Any final words before we close the vault today? Don't buy camper vans unless you really, really, really, really want one. Or buy a rubbish van. And do yourself.

And don't finance it. Yeah. That's all. Okay. That's all for this episode. is now closed and just a quick disclaimer the vault is just a chat around life and money topics we are not giving financial advice