The Vault with Financielle - "I've Been Lying to My Partner About My Salary for Three Years” | The Vault Episode 117

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

We asked: what money advice would you give your younger self? Tell us in the comments! 👇This week we're diving into two very different but very real money dilemmas:💸 "I've Been Lying to My Partner About My Salary for Three Years"💸 "I Work Two Jobs and Still Can't Make a Dent in My Debt"Got a money win or a dilemma that's been living rent-free in your head? Share it (totally anonymously 🤫) in the Financielle app community or email [e-mail] 💌You don't have to figure this out alone. More honest money chat at financielle.com 💖💸Connect with our Partner🫶 Protect yourself and loved ones with our friends at ⁠Lifesearch⁠ **The above is a tracked link, which tells our partner we sent you and may in future result in a payment or benefit to our site.

Welcome to The Vault with Finance Child. This is a safe space where we talk all things, life and money and no topics are off limits. Howdy everybody? Howdy? Good morning. How are we doing? Very good. Very good.

I'm on the first pod without nails. Oh, really? We talk about this. Oh my gosh. Tell us. Which one of you wrote the article on Angela Scanlon? Me. Did you be me?

So we talked about, I've had my nails on for a couple of years. And I was like, come on TV, I'd have nails. and that sounds like a really superficial thing to say but I talk with my hands and I'm rubbish at nails and a lot of the other women have beautiful, beautiful nails but the men have beautiful, well-manicured nails

and no one's going to look at their nails. So I convinced myself that I needed it. It's such an inconvenience to go get my nails done. I know it's each to their own but I've seen a lot of discourse actually on social media about this recently. People going, like going for my nails is not a treat myself.

Like I hate doing it. I like the person that does it or not, depends on the different things that have been shared. But it's an inconvenience to my week. I have to go. You can't be on your phone. You can't do email. You can't do anything because your hands are out of action.

So you just literally sat there. I saw this funny comedian, actually, US comedian talking about like you just like you're in jail. It's awkward. You're like, look into your friend over there or someone else and you're like, we're both just sat here staring at each other. There's nothing we can do. And so it heads up, doesn't it?

You know, 40 pounds a month to have your nails done. But whatever just didn't have them on? Like, what if it just wasn't a thing? Because some people like having it, don't it? It's like they enjoy it. Like you just didn't, you had it because you felt you needed to, not because you were like, I really like having my nails, manicured and having gels because some people just do.

They do, but is it hot? But then the Angelus scandal point is, is that because we're conditioned to think that. Possibly. But then that would be the same for anything though, wouldn't it? For everything that women do that men don't do. Yeah, so therefore it's more demonstrated than it's a choice. So it's like, yeah, it's no shade.

It's more I would rather. that, well, the bigger thing is actually less about the money, but I absolutely would cut it if I needed the money. Like, if I'm in credit card debt, if I've no savings, if I'm not invested, I'm not getting anyone else done. But it was that, I think, that healthy checking, which is you're just convincing yourself that actually you need them done for work and you don't need them done. And the biggest thing for me is the time, like I've been, you can't get an appointment or won breaks or like you've got back-to-back meetings or go on the weekend. Oh, yeah, great. Like my husband works weekends and I've got three kids. So at what point

am I meant to go? Keep out, I did take Ali once because I did. And he was on my knee. Oh my God, he's like trying to give me the drill. Can I know what is it? It was like, what the hell is going on? This is amazing. And then he got upset because I got my pink nail repaired and I didn't make it blue. So that was an experience of itself.

But yeah, massive inconvenience. And I saw your article, Lucy. And I was like, I think I'm going to take them off. And a couple weeks in. How are you feeling? Fine. Just not, haven't even thought about it. The minute they were off, I was like, oh, my hands look and feel a bit stubby.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a stubby, like. Shorter, less sleek. So none of us on the sofa actually get our nails done then, do we? Not anymore. You do your own, don't you? And what was the premise of the article? Did you work out, you know, is there an average amount saved or?

Yeah, I think I said there was, say if you get your nails done between like 25 to, let's say, like, 55. I can't remember the exact numbers. But if you were spending like 30, 40, 50 pounds every like three, four weeks and then invested that, It worked out around like 60,000 pounds. If you put that into your like stocks and chairs, I saw. You would not say no, would be. So our family budget now has, you know, 40 extra pounds a month. And it goes to our excess and we invest our excess.

And so it won't just be spent on something else. Yeah. It will literally go now directly to our family's kind of growth and net worth. So yeah, well, I'll keep you updated on it. And on that, like it is a really good article. And I think just a reminder for those people listening, we are putting a lot of work in. to the editorial side of Fanonshell.

So if you go on Fanonshel.com, you may not go on it. You may listen to us and that's all. But we talk about stuff like that we talk on the pod online as well. You can access it any time. We've got an amazing newsletter. And we would love your support.

So go online and subscribe to that newsletter. If you're not subscribed to the pod, subscribe to it because we want you. And follow it on Spotify. I don't think you subscribe. Yeah, follow on Spotify. But do that because we can't fit everything into the vaults.

The vault's just dilemmas. but there's some really thought-provoking content that we're doing that literally might mean 60,000 pounds to my family just because I sat and went, which I'm going to do it. Love that. Well, Danangelo Scam for starting the revolution. Bare nails revolution. Yeah. Okay. This week we asked a juicy community question. We said, people in their 30s tell someone in their 20s something that they need to know about money. This is an interesting age gap, by the way, because it's not that far ahead.

This is like us and you. Yeah. And I'm holding on for dear life into 30s. I mean, I'm only 21. So I'll take the advice. Okay. Sinking funds start now. Have a bloody emergency fund.

Did it be tight blood to? Don't be swayed by 20% off if you take a store card out at the till. What is that? I don't understand that. So I'll tell you because I used to be the top. So this is like lying in bed at night. when you start to feel guilty about the things that you did in your life, I used to be the top salesperson.

Because the irony of this is not lost on me for store credit cards. Oh my God. So I used to work at Debenhams, be a queue of people. I used to love this job and I romanticise it all the time. I'm like, I could just go back and do that. I would be really happy.

She should. I was really good at it. I could do my little girl, second girly pop job, which is also a really good article in financial.com about romanticising a second job that you actually like, not because you need to. You might need to. I digress.

Someone comes to the till you've come and the cost is like £100 for all the items that you're going to get. If you open a Debenham's store card, Madam, you can save 20% off today. So you will be paying £80 for your items. You will also then get in the future discount vouchers for future items that you pay on clothes. Okay. Sign me up then. Literally. As easy, like done. Really?

Yeah. So you were technically a bank. Yes. I, when I went to a talk shop, it was Arcadia Group at the time, went bust. And you would, this was long before financial, actually, but you would be, as a staff member, incentivised, everyone is, you'd get, you'd get one pound. Have you been scammed?

Of capital bonds, premium, not capital. I don't think they were capital bonds, there were capital bonds, I think at the time, not premium bonds. I've got confused then, but got incentivized to do it. I'd be like, I would. I wouldn't. And honestly, at that time, I was so young. I didn't, I kind of knew that store cards were not great.

They're not as great as credit cards in terms of interest rates. And I knew just felt a bit icky because if the company is pushing something so much, I was always on the side of the customer who was like, there's something in it. And I just didn't, I didn't mathematically or strategically understand why. I was like, Joe Merkel, 34th Street, when the Father Christmas is like, go down the street. This is me. It's 20%.

I brought down Tick that TikTok. Top shop. I brought down Top Shop. Sorry, Philip Green on New York. But I used to be like, I used to not do it. But your managers would stand over you and see if you did it. You were tested. Because it was so commercially driven about store cards.

Because they knew that obviously on a finance level, people would spend way more. They would keep coming back. It's the top shop card. You only got the discount at one time. Oh, there's offers from time to time. There was never off it. Like it was literally that their moment. And there was for Debenhams.

And I only know that because my nan used to have a gold card. So that shows you how much she spent. And my mum used to buy everything on my Nan's gold card so that my nan would get like points and the free coffee. So there was always like incentives. You know what Nana used to do? She used to give her a bill. Yeah.

There's your bill. The printed bill. And yeah, she used to pay it off. She used to go into the store and go to the customer services with her with the bill that they'd posted out to her and cash. Yeah. You pay it off. And she never bought anything.

It was only. The only things like, it was like clothes frozen, food and contractions, beauty and stuff. But yeah, I got incentivised a lot. Like, I would have got cash. Yeah. For doing it. And I'm like, no wonder they all like me. Like, all those supervisors used to come over and be like, have you opened,

I'd be like, yeah, I've opened like five today. Literally so easy. All these old ladies in debt for Holly Holland. I know. Yeah. If you say, you want 20% off to someone and they spent a considerable amount money, especially I worked on women's wear, they're spending a few hundred pound each time to get 20% off. I think I got to the point at the end of my career there.

And I was like, get the 20% off, pay it off and then cancel the card. Which I was just about to say, advisors definitely said at Topshop. They were like, what I would do is this. And if you are commercially savvy, like if you're savvy and you're on it, then technically, yes, you can get a discount.

So if you're buying a load, like, but it is one of those. Your brain's got to be wired a certain way to be able to do that because as soon as you see like, oh, well, I've got this limit. Yeah. I could just have anything at top. They knew.

And that has not changed, ladies and gentlemen. Like, we, they absolutely know what entices us in. I think I was in Superdrug. They did they do. Do you want to join? Have you got a Superdrug card? I was like, no. Every time.

Join, I was like, no. Join emitter things. Yeah, they want the data. And then another one is like, if you open House of Fraser's one, isn't it? In Sports Direct, if you take out their banapelator style stuff. Yeah, that's not a store card. That's if you pay with their banapelator, you get like $20. it's like 50% off.

It's not like a little like because we were all look what we were looking for one day. Trainers. And Carl like puts into the group, ooh if you get this it's 50% off we were like read the room. Don't you. In our family WhatsApp chat.

It was like but it's 50% off and pay full price and take the high road call. I get it though. And that show's like we're not buying it from House of Freez. Yeah. But I get it why people would be. If you've not got much money and you want to buy your kids clothes

you can get double the amount of clothes for the same amount of money. Like why would you not? It was actually preying on lower income families. It was literally on kids trainers. Kids trainers, 50% off if you pay using Fraser Plus or whatever it's called. That should make you say, why? How much money are they making on me that they're giving me 50% off, like, full-priced trainers,

not just like, or they're in the sale anyway. Always think what are they up to. Yeah. Always think. Be suspicious. I guess this is like, Dylan's right in the right place. Like, you're like this, what else is the conspiracy theory? get underneath it.

I forgot. Sorry, Lucy. What would we do? Someone said, don't take out the sodding credit code. Well timed. Someone said, the power of compound interest over time for your pension. In my 20s, I believed I needed the money more than, more then, and could just make it up once more settled, once I was more settled. We all, I'm sorry to trust me on, that is, we've all been there.

And it's something that, you know, older generations passed to farm. And we go, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's very human to kind of want to walk your own path and not listen to it. You know, when people talk about children and time passing quickly, you go. And then, you know, suddenly, like, you've got all your kids in school and they're not little anymore. And the savings, like, I am at a really interesting point in my life where, you know, like we've lost friends. Like people have passed away or people have got health issues and you're always waiting to do the thing. Are you waiting for things to get better?

Are you waiting to have more money? When we have a bigger house, when we have a bigger car, when we're able to do this. And one, that when is never coming. But two, like time flies so quickly that I think in my 20s, I would have been like, okay, when I'm 40, I'll be in a place where I'll be able to do that. And I'm like that soon for me in the next couple of years. And so when you, I love this question, like, people in your 30s ask,

you know, pass something back. people in your 20s listen, don't listen, it's completely up to you, but we've been there and not listened. Yeah, and it's not, I like that it's not a big time frame because you'd think, oh, people in your 60s tell someone in your 20s, actually it's really good for people in your 30s because you've literally just been there. And there's really good things like the investing point is fantastic, really good one for people to put in about the compound interest. They're wishing they did that not 10 years ago and they know how much of a difference

that can make, so please listen. I'm like, please listen, please. Someone said, don't lend your dusty X. Thousands of pounds, you'll never see it again. Dusty X. I love that phrase. Someone said you can negotiate beyond annual salary, although you should do that too. Think relocation costs, job title changes, stock options or training budget slash further education sponsorship. They can all help push your earning potential higher or save you money in the short term. Good one.

Don't believe what they tell you. about student overdraft being free money you've got to pay it back at some point definitely we were all sold the dream on that one like being a student you just sold all these lies yeah I saw a really funny TikTok of a girl after a night out with a friend

debriefing in bed and it was the next morning and she was checking her she was like should check my backbells I saw that have you seen it and she was like because it was like big night she was like didn't look at the didn't love what we were spending

And she said, where do you think it's at? And she was like, well, yesterday it was minus 500. Yeah. And so she's like, as close to that as possible. And what was it? It was like, minus seven. Oh, God. I think she spent 200 because she was like, minus seven.

And she was like, it's not even your money. Like, but she was hoping it was minus 500. Oh, my God. Like a student out back in the day would not have been 200 quid. Oh, my God. I used to go out and spend 20 quid. Yeah. Wait, yeah, boozy student for sure.

But it was just that they were tickling them. sells because it was this like that's what an overdraft is it's pretend like if you don't have one you can't go spend the thing and it was like how much is it how much is it it feels very monopoly money i remember being with my student overdraft it just felt monopoly yeah until i have to pay it back and you're like jesus christ what did i actually spend it on top shop that was the thing Manchester city girls should have opened the shop house yeah someone said sinking funds not taking on debt saving an emergency fund rather than getting in get into the end of the month with nothing or worse going overdrawn for nights out, start investing separately and well done

for signing up to pension at the max rate. Yeah. I wish 20 year old me knew about sinking funds. Yeah. That keeps coming up. Yeah, sinking funds is the clear. Oldest trick in the book. But hardly anyone does when you speak to them.

We're such a bizarre little community of people. Weird. We're seeing funds. We are weird, but they work. And if you want, like, there's loads of blog articles. I know we've talked about financial.com, but in the app and stuff, like set your syncing funds up in there. There's a tracker.

The strangest sinking fund at the moment is a curtain fund. Because we've got like an extension at the back that for six years, we've not had curtains apart because we're not overlooked at the back. But it gets really, really hot. And we wanted some nice, like, linen curtains to kind of cool it a little bit, but not be like, just take these. I could just take the back. You don't mind you, Dylan.

It would have been better than the curtain fund I needed. So then we paid, like, there was someone. came to do like the fitting because it's really heavy it's a big big um big windows so that's why we couldn't do it ourselves and we've paid the man for the first bit and then he's getting the woman man the woman the woman does the curtains the man does the fittings um and they're all scars latch that's amazing they all know each other and she's well so we paid him and then i um needed to claim some expenses for like for lunch and breakfast for something uh for a job that I'd done.

And then either side of like lunch and breakfast was like, curtain fund. And I just, I was screenshot in my bank app and I don't get away with it. And I was like, do I mention it in the email? Like, block it out.

The expenses are like minor expenses, but the biggest thing I was concerned about was this like 350 transfers of curtain fund and a picture of curtains because that's what in the stalling bank app that I use. That's what it was. So yeah, it's one of those things that it's your world until it's someone else and you're like, how do I,

I just didn't mention it. Have you got any stinking fun to your? embarrassed about that you won't want to share in a screenshot. Do you go to the outside? Outside. I've had a Chinese medicine sinking fund for the Chinese medicine guy in Chester before. That's weird. He was racking up.

I thought I'm going to make syncing fun for him. Yeah? Chinese medicine cover. Yeah, there's a guy who's really good. He does like really good acupressure. Mm-hmm. Massage on your head. I love how you didn't go wellness though.

You were very specific. No, it was for him. It's for him. Picture of him? What was the picture? Like, when I make my... I need a picture for my mom's. Can I take a picture of you for my mom?

So, please. Yeah, when I put money in my sinking funds and I'm like hairdresser's sinking fund, I'm like, I'm just direct debit this to Caroline. Like, this is basically Caroline's money. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, you're a picture of Caroline as well.

I've got a pot of money for you, Caroline, too. I want pictures now. Caroline. Yeah. I don't think I've got a niche one. I need to work on that. Well, can't Lydia have you go on? Surely.

Mine are vague so I can bend them on anything. Oh, so they're malleable. Yeah. That's all right. That's all right. Because it's very hard to use the curtain sinking fund for fun. Yeah. Or dentist.

Entertainment. Quick financial win. One listener said speaking to Chelsea at Life Search made sorting income protection and life insurance so easy. And she finally feels like a boss with her cover sorted. Want the same piece of mind? head to financial dot com forward slash protection to get your free quote today. Okay, time for our first dilemma.

I've been lying to my partner about my salary for three years. Hi ladies, I need to get something off my chest. I've been lying to my partner about how much I earn. It's been going on for three years now and it's starting to weigh on me. When we first got together, I told him I earned less than I actually do. At the time, I think I just didn't want things to feel unequal between us. He was earning less than me and I didn't want that. to be a thing. So I just adjusted the number a little and then I kept adjusting it. Now he genuinely

believes I earn around £10,000 less than I actually do, which means that when we talk about money, splitting things and saving for the future, he's working off completely wrong information. We've started talking seriously about moving in together and I know that this is going to come out eventually. Bills, joint accounts, mortgage applications means there's no hiding it forever. I know I need to come clean but I'm terrified about how he will react. not just about the number but about the fact that I've been lying for so long. How do I even begin that conversation and is there any coming back from it? How do you think that started?

Do you think it was maybe just like a compensation thing? Yeah, trying to make him not feel bad. Yeah, just trying to make everyone feel comfortable. Immaculating for a man. Yeah. To earn less. Is it emasculating for a man to earn less? Maybe. And early on, it's private, so maybe he panicked.

told him something because you're like, I don't, we always, it's very human to just tell a little white lie, isn't it? So it's like a non-offensive one, but especially, especially if like, you don't know, offend someone and it was early days, but I'm just trying to picture, like, where do we think it started? Yeah. And why is it carried on? Like, why has it never been a point of, like, could have done early dollars? There's obviously been pay rises, as I imagine in that time, because you said it's gone on and on. Oh, it's a tough one because if this was a female saying the dilemma and say that the male partner had been hiding, you know, how much they potentially earned from them. We would not be happy. We'd be saying wouldn't. We would be waving that red flag

and saying, this is like financial infidelity. And it is because you, and you know it, like, you've written this in going, this isn't right. I've been telling a lie. I want to get off my chest. So it's obviously bearing heavy on you. It is time to come clean. Especially you, like you said, it's going to find out anyway. But maybe you need to work. out the reasons as to why you lied in the first place and work through that. And then that might be gives some explanation to your partner. But, you know, we talk a lot about, or we get a lot of dilemmas in from women that are trying to keep up with the partners earning potential when it comes to splitting costs and it not being proportionate, not being fair. Unfortunately, it's not

fair and it's not proportionate. If you want to work on a concept of sharing your expenses and stuff, it'll determine what kind of house you get, what kind of holidays you go on. And you're in the background going, I actually earn more than you think I do. So she earns £10,000 per year more than she said. So it's not like an incredible amount of money either across the year, across your fixed expense, across your expenses, sorry, when you take that home net. It's not a huge, yeah.

It potentially is not a huge amount monthly that it would make a considerable difference. It's just you've gone with the live, obviously run with it, And now you're going to have to come from a mortgage application. You just write your true salary down. And he goes, you didn't say you earned 40. I told you. You said you earned 30. You're like, did I?

I don't pay. I can't times by 12. Did I? I think that's such good advice, Holly. Like, really think about where you were at. So there's two things that like, one, you could build this up to be a really big, big deal as well. And like confess. And he's like, fantastic.

bothered. Yeah. You know, but have a real thing about why you may have been a bit guarded with it. I don't know. Do you, if things come from a place of innocence, so like if she, if he asked a bit early in the relationship and she didn't know what to say and she's just kind of been a bit vague or she's kind of played it down, her intentions were good. It wasn't to hide to cover to keep more money.

I'd like to think that you are being very pragmatic in how you budget and that you are covering your fair share, you know, however proportionate that should be. Because if you're not, I think before the big declaration or confession or whatever you think through, what does good look like on an outcome basis? So if you, because she's paid more than him, does she say that? So she's more, more she just didn't, she dampened or didn't actually reflect what she'd, she just said she wants things to feel equal when we talk about money splitting things saving for the future he's working off completely wrong information

that's difficult we had a dilemma a few weeks ago where a lady had found out that her husband didn't want to split things proportionally even though he earned a lot more and we would have been like going in on that sorry we would have done we would have been going in on him going well that's not fair And she wants things to be equal.

She actually doesn't say that she earns more than him, though, does she? I don't think. Because what I mean by that is she might want things to be equal. She might actually want to contribute more. So going back to what you said, Holly, is really important. What's fair and right here and what do you want the outcome to be? Because if the outcome is you want to contribute more or contribute equally or contribute fairly, you're coming from a really good place with it.

And it started and then think about why you didn't. share obviously the truth in the first place, but she knows, she knows, she knows, we need accurate numbers to be able to navigate anything. So begin with the end in mind. I do sometimes think, massive sweeping generalisation, but women overthink. So if you're coming from a good place and if this is not a red flag on your part, you could do this dramatic confession is like, oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not that. Anyway, what's for dinner? You're like, whereas we've, like, you've sweated over it and you've, especially if you like justice and you feel like you've misleading him and you've been really like a bad person. So, yeah. So, you're like, you're

So don't overthink it, but it's absolutely important that you pick the moment to do it. So is it looking at finances? It's like, actually, my income is a bit high. My income's high than that. And you either leave it as that or if you think you need to explain more, you say, or if he raises it why, you then go, do you know what? Like, earlier days, I felt a bit awkward. So I just said a number and then I've never corrected it.

Yeah. I've not got a problem with it. Like going forward, this is what I want going forward, not. felt like it was mine when he just wanted to keep holding more of it or there's going to be she seems so balanced yeah maybe I'm being very biased to the female here but she seems balancing the way that she's even given a dilemma yeah that I feel like she wants the right outcome yeah you say you want to get off your chest like the advice is get it off your chest yeah in whatever way that works for you as a couple but I don't see that in movies where it's like no don't don't I'll feel better though I'll feel

better but they like this is not for them to know and it seems like they are open about money and like have conversations about everything anyway. So like, we'll be easy to slip in that. Especially if he seems like so pragmatic, interested in managing the money, there's nothing in her dilemma that makes her worried

that if she shared it, that he would take advantage of that extra money and take advantage of the situation. So good place to be in. Like, obviously not ideal, but in terms of going forward, sounds like she'll be in a good place. Yeah.

Personal finance, let's face it, can be boring. But at Fanchelle, we do it different. from guilt-free spending to the perfect payday routine, our blogs help you feel confident and in control of your money. Head to Fanonchelle.com to get informed, entertained and empowered today. Okay, time for a second dilemma. I work two jobs and still can't make a dent in my debt. Hi ladies, I recently discovered financial and I'm really hoping you can help me. Right now,

my debt feels completely overwhelming and I'm struggling to cope. I'm 47 with three grown-up children and it feels like I'm having to rebuild my life from the ground up. I just ended my engagement after discovering that my ex-fiancee was unfaithful, something I never imagined he was capable of. I'm currently £40,000 in debt, made up of three credit cards and a £25,000 loan. This all sends from legal fees from my ex-husband, and it has completely overwhelmed me. Right now, I'm paying just over £800 a month in minimum payments alone, and to keep up, I've had to take on a second job. I work full-time for my local council take-home is around £1,700 per month, and I work part-time in Sainsbury's in the evenings and the weekends, which brings in £425 a month. My part-time income covers my loan

payment, but I can only afford the minimum payments on my credit cards, so the balances aren't going down at all. It's been a year of this, and I feel completely stuck. After covering my mortgage bills and loan repayments, I'm left with around £100 a month for food and petrol. I've cut everything I possibly can and have been selling items on Vintage, but it's still not enough. I'm trying to sell my house as that would allow me to clear the loan. I originally bought this house outright in cash, but later took out a 100,000 pound mortgage with my ex-fiance. If I sell, I won't get back what I put in and will need to take on a new mortgage. I do have a buyer, but they want a quick sale, which means I'll need to rent for a couple of months before my new place is ready. I have no spare

cash for rent and my credit cards are nearly maxed out so I don't know how I'll cover it. I've spoken to step change about it about a debt management plan but I'm treating that as a last resort. I feel so angry with myself when I think about how secure I once was compared to where I am now. I would really appreciate any ideas from anyone who can see options that I might be missing. Thank you for taking the time to read this. She is going through a lot, isn't she? Especially after like ending her engagement as well and I feel like she has covered off lots of options. Obviously, it feels like a lot to keep up with. And she's, you know,

in this predicament and things feel tight. So the, and she's also, by the way, seeking out regulated debt advice from step change charity, which is a great thing to do, but I'm glad she also sees it as a last resort because at the moment things are manageable. It's tight, but it's manageable. And there's a couple of things that we're going to, like are going to be questions which she can't answer because she's not here with it on the sofa, but it's just the benefit of listeners and audience thinking about if you're in a similar situation, what you would do? This is a flow of things like this. So in summary, what she's saying is things are really tight. I have no money left at the end of the month. So I cover everything.

She's paying minimums. So that's annoying. She covers everything, but it's tight. And she's working in Sainsbury's part-time on top of her job. And she's selling things on Vinted here and And the premise of the financial budget is if you can bring in more money than you spend and you have the excess, the excess goes towards the goal that you're working towards. And in the immediate short term, she doesn't have any emergency savings because if she moves on to rent, I guess for a couple months, which we'll talk about in a minute, she doesn't have money for that rent because she doesn't have emergency savings. She's nothing to fall back on.

So even though the loans are there and she's only doing minimum payments and she's paying 800 a month, you know, in terms of the finance. and the loan payments. She's nothing. And so the financial play, but we've always talked through this methodology because it's worked for so many people,

tens of thousands of people that have followed this program is starting with your emergency phone. And so we bear that in mind because she's not got that and that's what she needs to do. My second point, I can't ask because she's not here

is the house. Like I don't have you thought that whole, like why does she need to sell the house? So she, I know she's got a mortgage on it now. She got 100,000 mortgage. she's got a buyer who's in a rush, well, do there need to be in a rush?

And then her new place isn't quite ready. I feel this might be a downsize, maybe, because she's saying there'll be money to help clear the loan, for example. But why are you doing that? Because at the moment, everything's tough,

but it's manageable. A house sale is a, she's going to lose money on the house sale. There's costs with the new, I'm pursuing it's buying because she talks about renting for a shop, period of time. So the first thing to consider is just check all that out. Like are you seeing the house sales, a short-term solution to clear the loan, to go into a new place, but basically not

be that much further forward? Or is it for job? Is it for location? Is there a, is, is your husband, ex-fiancee, sorry, keep, no, she's not keeping the house, got a new buyer. Whatever it is, what is it? Now, it might be that you have to sell. Again, we'll come back to the fact that if they jointly owned the house, does he need to be paid out? can you, you may not be able to get a remortgage. So just have a look at that because I never like people making like rash decisions to kind of clear something in the short term, but actually in the long term it's not a great decision financially. But if you do need to sell and if that's the next step and the benefit of it is that it does clear the loan, there's a couple of options

that you do have like one, try and hold your nerve and manage the buyer's expectations and line up the timings. One advantage when you're in this position and you're in England and Wales for example is the property system is awful. And you know, you may want it to happen quickly and something comes up, why it goes to the bottom of a pile or someone forgets to do something. So even with the best intentions,

these things frustratingly take so long for you, it might work in it to your advantage. So don't feel backed into a corner that you have to do something with a period of time. Be brave, speak to the buyer, speak through solicitors, come up with mutually agreed deadlines. That happens all the time.

Now, if we're talking six months and 12 months, maybe that's a different case because, you know, someone may not be willing to wait around that long. But if they don't, maybe you wait for the next buyer. Like you kind of put in all everything and focusing on this one thing and I have to do it to make this happen. But like hold your nerve a little bit, take a step back. You don't have any rent money. At the moment, unless you find some money into the sofa, you can't do that because you want how old to pay. There may be family that can help in the meantime.

Can you go stay with someone, you know, someone that, um, does a gesture now to you, you can pay them back in different ways. Like, do you three, I was wondering whether a three grown-up children live with her because that's what she referenced that she had them, but I don't know if she, if they lived with them. Now's the time to help your own mom out because she's brought you up. Can I come and live with you for a few months while? Or if you live at home, get a job, get a job and contribute for this period of time. That's a good point, actually. And I was also thinking it's just come to me like a lodger as well and a lot of females are like single females are

looking to do that now of getting a single female into the lodger. Oh my God, that's such a good concept, isn't it? You can romanticise that. Yeah. Well, in the UK, especially with the rent of room allowance, I think it's seven and a half grand you can earn per you, really, pay a tax free for a lodger. And I like, I like that aesthetic girly. Yeah, a bit of companionship.

Someone's similar age, maybe going through the same thing. Maybe they need a bit of help in their circumstances and want to live, you know, with another female, preferably. We're getting creative. Yeah, yeah. I think this is like the time to get creative, isn't it? Yeah, I think you need to get creative. Sometimes you do have to like come up a level and not just be like, okay, I need to rent,

how do I find money for rent? Because her main question is that like a step change warden or like a debt management plan. Obviously this is caveat because it's not debt advice. Doesn't fix the thing here. It is manageable. It's not yet growing at an astronomical rate. You're in a period of time and I think this is part of our answers a lot of time.

Is it all like there's chapters of life and then you get through them. And sometimes it's about holding on. Sometimes it is she does need emergency savings. And I feel like she's never got to a point. where she's been able to create enough excess income. And so look at income, you know, that take home for that full-time council job, are there any, like, it sounds like you could go full-time at Sanchez and possibly take home more than that.

Like that doesn't feel like a lot of money for the amount of work that you are doing across two jobs. You might be able to get one job that pays both and then you can get another part-time job somewhere else. So always look at income. What can you do on a serious, serious level to, and I think first build up that emergency fund and then start doing the debt snowball and looking at pay. off the smallest to largest. So can you increase that income? Can you optimize your expenses in any

way, you know, even though I'm sure you're being good with it? What can you do to make sure you grow that excess? And then don't feel backed into a corner on this move. If this is the right move for you, you control the schedule and be confident about it. I think sometimes, and I am this person, which is why I'm saying this to you, I'm so complicit. I'm an empath. I feel sorry for everyone else, but actually, if I held my nerve a little bit more sometimes, it's actually fine with them, just because if a buyer is in a position to move, everyone wants a quick sale, because you want to get in and you want to do. Sometimes you don't get what you want. You get what you want a little bit later and you might be able to align things that don't have you moving,

for example, and no one should ever move without emergency savings. It's so, so hard. It costs you so much money to sell and buy a house. It might be that you go and rent for a little bit and like like like build up some emergency savings so that you can then go to buy a new house feeling financially well instead of feeling pushed you know it's a big commitment to buy a house like don't forget it's a really big commitment and if you want to remain on the property that's great but let's get some of that debt down first and get you feeling yeah financially well for a little bit before you go and do that it's not saying it's not going to happen but you might just put pause on that because it could actually throw you into more debt I would say

if you've not got your money shipped together and we're not getting that budget to be in Absolutely. You moved to that new home with no emergency savings. That is hard stuff. So debt, I think it's really important to slow down a little bit. I love the idea of actually involving the children in this a little bit financially and practically. Do the numbers with them, be transparent, share what life's like. You know, they may or may not know about your debt. You may decide to keep it confidential. You may decide to share. But this is a math problem. And so we can't change the maths. You can change the maths. The math is in the income. The maths is in your expenses and there are, I think also in this process, can you slow it down a little bit?

Because ultimately, like, you can turn a corner and financially things can change. Super tough. She's been through so much. She's a short bit of time. It's like emotionally draining as well. This isn't just like a math problem. This is like a partner's been unfaithful, been divorced in the past, three grown up children, you know, it's really, really difficult. But I think modelling it out as well, I think you've got to be like, right, then I'm going to sell the house here and then I'm going to do this. This is the option. The only option.

Literally. We need like an option A, B and C. Like could have it be hold by nerve and not sell the house. B or she might have sold it already and she's just trying to the buyers are putting pressure to move out as quickly as possible. Two, not buy another home. Can I move into rental somewhere? Three, a lodger. What would that do to my income on the month?

Can I build up emergency savings while then then move house like for getting you, getting your job and get that income? You're at 47. You should be earning the best money of your life in this time of your life is the way. earn the most. So can you jump ship somewhere else? Go to private sector and probably get paid 30% more, 20% more. That's what they say, don't they? They definitely say, I don't know what the percentage is, but we've talked.

We've seen it before an uplift. But yeah, like new fresh, I guess. Hopefully, like we've stimulated some of your thoughts. But actually, if anyone was listening at home and you've got ideas that we've not thought about, please always message in. We talk about that this isn't advice, it's just guidance of what we would do. And you may have a lived experience and you, or you may spot something we didn't listen to, always messaging, email the vault at financial.com.

We firstly may talk about it on another podcast, but we'll definitely get it to the person that has written it in because, you know, we want you all to win and that's what community is all about. So if you've heard something, you're like, why the hell didn't you tell them to do this? We will tell them, you tell us. Okay, that is all for this episode. The Vault is now closed. Just a quick disclaimer, The Vault is just a chat around life and money topics. We are not giving financial advice.