The Vault with Financielle - Luxury Items, Setting Boundaries and Life-Changing Money | The Vault Episode 37

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Send us a textWelcome to The Vault with Financielle. In Episode 37 of The Vault, we discuss this week’s controversial opinion, “Luxury items are a waste of money unless they increase in value over time”, before diving into our listener dilemmas:“Is my housemate’s boyfriend freeloading?”"My whole life is about to change!”We celebrate a motivated Vault listener getting her money $h*t together, going from an emotional, impulsive spender to someone with a clear vision and self-discipline over her spending 💸🤓If you’d like to share your money win, head to the community in the Financielle app or email [e-mail] your (totally anonymous) money dilemmas to [e-mail] and we may feature yours on a future episode 💌Thank you to our partner PensionBee, who are on a mission to help you build pension confidence and create a world where everyone can enjoy a happy retirement. With PensionBee you can combine, contribute and withdraw online. Join over 260,000 customers saving with PensionBee. When investing, your capital is at risk.Sign up and combine your pensions here 🐝Get more out of your money by opening a high interest Cash ISA with Trading 212 here 💸When investing, your capital is at risk. Pies & Autoinvest is an execution-only service, not investment advice or portfolio management. Automatic investing refers to executing scheduled deposits. You are responsible for all investment and rebalancing decisions. This information is not investment advice. Do your own research.As a Vault listener, you can get a whopping 25% off our digital course, The Money Playbook.This is a step by step guide to being financially well. It has 101 lessons where you'll learn how to budget, ditch debt, build savings and grow wealth. Use this offer code at checkout: VAULT Check it out here 💸Chapters:00:00 Introduction03:48 Controversial Opinion: "Luxury items are a waste of money..."16:00 Dilemma 1: “Is my housemate’s boyfriend freeloading?”28:43 Community Win: Feeling in control over finances36:03 Dilemma 2: “My whole life is about to change!”52:40 Final ThoughtsThe Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Hey everyone, it's Holly here. Before we get into the episode, I want to share something exciting. That's right. If you're looking to take control of your money, the Financial app is your go-to tool. With the app, you can track your spending, create realistic budgets, and hit your money goals faster than ever. In fact, did you know our premium community members save three and a half times more than our free users? That's incredible. Plus, you'll be part of an amazing community where we all support each other on our money journeys. Whether you're starting to pay off debt or planning for your future, the app has everything that you need to make it happen.

So what are you waiting for? Download the financial app today and start your free trial. Trust us, your future self will wish you did it sooner. Oh, you didn't come in the grey jumper today. I didn't, but I did come in my watch, which was a self-bought push present.

Judge me if you want. Oh. Is that a thing? I didn't get one of those. So, I think Carl wanted one, so he said,

why don't you get one? Why don't you have one because we're first a baby. First a baby, and then he was like, and I'll have this one. But he can push. It's a, it's a tag watch and for a long time I've not worn it because the battery runs

out quite quickly and he got one. It's got a technical term, Jono, it is where you shake it. Oh, automatic and you put it on the like little rocker thing. Yeah. And it suddenly recharges and I was like, oh no, I'll just get the battery one. Not thinking that to get a new battery from Tag. Yeah. So out of principle for a couple of years, I've not worn it because I didn't want to pay, because I paid once for it.

It was like 200 quid to go get her. That was, you know, whatever percentage of the watch itself. But we just took it to the village and got a regular watch. There you go. You don't have to go to TAG or wherever it's from. I'm not a watch person I'm just a I have got a little

watch that was my mum's like 21st present off my dad and they got divorced so obviously she didn't want it so she gave it to me

and you're like I'll take it off your hands and then I just I'm just an Apple Watch girl you're an Apple Watch girl well this is the thing so people have I have seen people with

whoops and Apple Watches yeah because it's quite confusing my brother's a whoop warrior. He's got a tan line constantly, even on holiday. And you're like, come on. I'm like, can you edit that out of your Instagram photos, please?

It looks horrible. He needs fake tan over his whoop. But what about, does he have a watch as well? Yeah, he's got his garment. See? And then he's got an actual like he's got a tag as well and like i can't imagine the battle he goes through he's like which what do i put on just not just turn up whenever you turn up like me and never know the time do you remember on

taoi like ages and ages ago when joey essex tried to start the trend of wearing a watch on your ankle oh yeah like like you've been tagged in prison yeah literally never took off turned up on selling sunset yeah that was so bizarre it was so weird he's a walking it he is kind of his pr publicist working overtime this summer because he was in love island i didn't watch it but it was love island and then selling sunset and it's like so random come on now let it go backpack looking at this five million pound

house I mean listen his publicist is working overtime if he can look at a house like that well done

well done he is a walk in it though isn't he yeah it's just weird he was creepy as well

yeah I haven't got to the part where he's actually looking at a house yet I've seen the bit where he

stood outside the coffee shop it's as awkward as that weird it's that the tv is that bad all the way through I'm excited welcome to the vault with financial this is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits I feel like we've been living up to that recently no topics are fun no topics off limits like bring it on right i've got a controversial opinion today oh moving on nicely actually from the watch convo luxury items are a waste of money unless they increase in value over time this was well timed after the tag watch debate luxury items aren't worth the money unless they increase in value over time two sides to this I want to take first side I want to take it is really really does my head in when I have seen some content online financial education content

targeted towards women where we'll discuss whether a handbag is a good investment and I'm just over it I'm just like there's so many there's so many elements that we should be focusing on first like the fact that a woman would sit and learn about whether a handbag is a good investment by definition an investment is something that an asset that you buy that either grows in capital value in terms of the value it's worth or it pays you value over time now don't get me wrong there's an element of like i do like the buy rotation and the her movement where there are women buying like an iconic dress wearing it once and going do you know what i'm gonna rent that all summer yeah to all these amazing ladies who then haven't had to buy that dress,

but they've also not bought like a shein one or a, you know, a pretty little thing or a cheap, like disposable one. And so there are women making a lot of money off a dress, our dresses. Our handbags. But it's kind of, that's a left field point. It's when people say, oh, it's an investment, like it'll grow in if it grows in value on

the handbag side we both have chanel handbags and we got them when we've talked about this before actually in the pod i think you were your 21st my 21st different times they were so much cheaper than like i can't even tell you how much cheaper they were i think i paid 1200 pounds 1290 for mine and i bought with a, load of gift vouchers for my 21st. Piled it, loved it. And I've used it to death to the point where

it's actually broken. I could do with getting it fixed, really. You cannot resell that now. It's really difficult to do so. Like, you know, I talk about this all the time. It's my biggest bugbear with Lucy. I'm like, I just cannot sell this bag.

Like, it's haunting me. It's sat in my wardrobe. My lifestyle doesn't reflect carrying a Chanel handbag around like maybe when I was 21 going out for dinner and going out for drinks and cocktails and I'm literally at the park every weekend like who or a football field I feel silly walking around with the bag like any event that we go to my husband's like are you gonna use the expensive bag that you've got and I'm like nah but to the point I can't sell it everything in the press says Chanel's Chanel's are worth this Chanel's worth that well if you either have to sell it privately be able to prove that it's real then you have to yeah exactly or

you go to a reseller it takes like 50% really so then I'm getting back what I paid for it which is fine because I don't use it anymore so that makes sense but logically in my brain I'm like I'll keep it but it's ingrown in value. Like it's an asset. Yeah. But it's not because it's really difficult to sell. So unless it like sits in your room and you never use it. It's collecting dust.

It's such a shame. Unless you're like a collector, like everything's pristine. But I'd like to think if you're doing that, you've done the basics first. You have emergency cash. You have a really good retirement. You're investing in the market passively. You might own a home. And if you've got extra money,. You have emergency cash, you have a really good retirement, you're investing in the market passively,

you might own a home. And if you've got extra money, invest in what you like. People invest in classic cars, people invest in watches, but it's the way that it's positioned to the everyday woman. It's an investment.

They go up in value or it's held its value. Like when people say to me that, that about a hamburger, I'm like, what does that mean? It's held its value. Like you're still using it.

Like it's not, are you going to sell it gonna sell it are you gonna for a female perspective we're so used to buying things like we talk about consumption all the time and having a tangible thing I feel like makes it more accessible for women to invest in something because they could see it whereas for so long men have been taught about taught about about investments and I'm talking about investments that you don't see like as in you don't have a physical object in your hand whereas for women because we like things we like materials yeah it's like a material item

where we then use it as a justification for buying something we're just going to fully use it for holding its value money per wear as well like those investment pieces conversations I know it's not about investments but like buy it when you've toying up like oh should i get a blazer from asos or should i go and get like a night is it like my frank frankie wardrobe whatever it's called there's loads of like really oh like a balmain one or something like that where you're like it's like 12 times the price yeah and then you go but

money per wear like we're always just justifying those investment pieces to ourselves. I think there's a difference when we talk about quality pieces are worth investing in. And so when that's the thing we're talking about, the cost-per-wear thing is more about you could have bought something that was going to fall to pieces. You didn't. You bought something sustainable with a small s,

not more that it will last. You'll keep it for years and years and years and you probably could sell it for not a pittance and i love the idea that we can invest in quality you know i don't think that everyone should you know buy jeans from tesco even if they look really nice they know i'm not they look amazing they look like they're from molly may's new range but they're not but but you know this isn't about you shouldn't spend money on good clothes that feel nice that look nice that last it's when it's the justification no because they hold the value that gets me gets my goat more that's like men buying handbags no so as an investment but what's wrong with it what's wrong with investing in it because you want it like what i think like you say when you get to that point where you can afford it do it yeah not because it's like you know some people i've seen stories where people share oh i bought

this bag but it's an investment and it'll go up in value and they've no savings and they probably brought it on credit and you're like no no no just the wrong way around like there's a there's a flow to this and just be conscious about the retail market like it's just much more difficult I think than people think trying to find a private buyer for a Chanel handbag it's not that easy like who has that disposable bit of cash because they'd have to pay in cash like who's gonna yeah more often than not they just buy it if you've got enough cash you end up wanting to go to the store and have that experience do you remember when you won't remember I don't know I'm asking you looking at the

Gen Z asking her about you might remember Beanie Babies oh yeah I do that's only because they came back yeah probably

she's not the first time around but they were like keep the tags on keep them in boxes I don't even think I was allowed to play with them I bet you were never

allowed to play with them my mum just bought them all the joy just sat in the loft and I'm allowed to play with them I bet you were never allowed to play with them yeah my mum just bought them all the joy like just sat in the loft and I'm keen to know has anybody ever made money off these Beanie Babies

mine all had such thin necks from being played with so they were loved if they had thin necks yeah but our nana

used to so she would watch Bargain Hunt and then someone once would sell a Beanie Baby on Bargain Hunt or she'd see it sell a Beanie Baby on Bargain Hunt or she'd see it in the paper

or something or like a McDonald's toy she'd say it's only worth it if you have a creepy room full of boxes of Beanie Babies yeah

you've never lived I had loads of those Perspex boxes for the why don't you just play with them and then put them back and then organise them again

yeah it's like that type of thing it's a hobby if you're doing it it's not going to fund your retirement play with the handbag just wear the handbag and use it yeah what do you think I think luxury items well going this is kind of not related but going back to the investing in a quality piece I keep seeing at the moment and I'd like to hear your opinion on this on TikTok people are saying like stop buying dupes yeah it's like right you're never gonna get the perfect

one because you always compromise on something and it's like save up get your sinker foot ready if you really want to want something I've seen them say it's not gonna feel as good you'll not you'll not want to wear it because you actually wanted the original thing so save up for it I don't agree with that I don't think no I'm all for a dupe but then I end up buying like 10 dupes oh dear yeah like I'm on the hunt for always for like the last seven years white shirt no cream jumper oh I've got so many which is the one you truly wanted in the first place I should probably go to like the white company or something and buy like a really good quality. Good cashmere one.

But you won't because you tend to the manager. Marks and Spencer's 20 pounds a year. Marks and Spencer's are doing well. Yeah. Killing it. I keep seeing stuff and it's like, is Marks and Spencer's just doing good or am I getting older? And I'm like,

I send a post to Mum like, this is a nice jumper. And I'm like, has she got it? And that's me on you. The interesting thing about luxury is, and i've said this before and this isn't to throw shade at people that do like labels but wealthy people don't wear labels um louis vuitton the balmain balenciaga to a point target poorer regions and so if you are what's called a mass affluent within a poorer region so

you know you aren't on the bread line well if you're on the bread line you're buying copies of those so you're going on these websites you know you might want some chloe sandals you might want a t-shirt with a big brand over the front any friend that goes to turkey everyone's like oh my god you get me on holiday i saw a girl and she had like a chloe bag but it said Joel oh at least try and get a good one yeah and you can't get and so

there's you're doing it so much about the label because what it looks like to other people that you're either buying fake ones and again

you know no judgement on it really if someone wants to do that or you're spending a lot of money like I've seen people put their kids in this like

Balmain t-shirt my kids ruin stuff ruin stuff I swear to god can you imagine we're so lucky our friend gives our youngest

like they've got one boy family downs amazing we get he his dad and mum have got the best taste in trainers they're always like

in Jordans like dunks like the best trainers my kid oh my god like I would never buy them full price I was so lucky

we got them gifted there's like holes in them within a week I'm like how did your child keep them so pristine like and when people like you say direct you go to weddings and christians and stuff and the dress head to toe and like Gucci I'm like yeah isn't that why Louis Vuitton made that like the monogram print yes so it's like you can see so you can can see it. Whereas, you know, let's take something like a Prada, even though obviously that's been quite popular recently, especially with younger generation and the logo's quite little on a bag. Most other Prada things, like it's under the radar.

Yeah, like if you're buying black trousers from Prada, you've got a lot of money. But they don't say Prada on the arse like you used to. And again, it's all preference, but it's just I you know you know my role here I always want to poke someone a little bit and make them think objectively about it and why are you buying that stuff fake or real is it because you want someone to think you think differently of you or think that you're someone you're not like if you enjoy the pieces you enjoy the pieces, you enjoy the pieces and if that's what all your friends are wearing,

that's what we all want to wear. You know, we all follow trends really, really quickly nowadays. But don't feel that there's a pressure, especially with your children and all,

don't feel there's a pressure because actually, if it's to represent money, money's silent. Like, it's much better to kind of be not as, well,

balanced. Like, make sure there's money in savings, make sure there's money in investments, make sure there's money in investments and then go buy the juice couture tracksuit. Yeah. Live your Paris Hilton best life. But get back.

Okay. Dilemma number one. This is a good one. Oh, she's laughing already. It must be good. Is my housemate's boyfriend freeloading? Ooh. Yes. Yeah. Next. is my housemates boyfriend freeloading oh yes yeah hi girls i love the podcast and i'd really value your opinion on this i live with my friend friend in london and her new boyfriend spends most of the week at our house he's currently unemployed ick already there's my flag my red flag

he's currently unemployed and is home alone in our flat whilst we are out working i feel quite uncomfortable about this because i don't know him that well he seems like a nice guy but it feels a bit weird that he's in our home all day whilst not paying towards any bills my gut is telling me that it's overstepping a boundary and feels intrusive. I don't know if or how I should bring this up with my friend slash housemate. Am I being irrational? What do you think? The interesting thing here will be the dynamics of where he actually lives because it doesn't sound like they live together. It sounds like he's meant to live somewhere else, but he's just spending all his time there. the unemployed thing is a really difficult one like is it long-term unemployed not

looking for a job having a great time freeloading because she's used that word so that makes me feel that that's the vibe rather than is in between jobs or he's moved places or whatever so it sounds like he is from somewhere else and lives somewhere else but just is having a great time you know um in in a three living there but not contributing so she's probably thinking I'm not like a little bit of company is fine but I'm not benefiting financially from this arrangement you've got the lights on all day well yeah am I heating on like what is the and sometimes especially like when you live when you live with a friend usually even more than a roommate you can be vulnerable you can be in

your cozies you can you know slob around if someone's there all the time it just irks you that would really piss me off yeah like and I would be thinking all day like is he in my room yeah is he in his boxes on my bed that's such a weird thing to think that's all I can think like is he scratching his assse sat on the sofa? And then is he, like, not washing his hands when he goes for a wee and, like, over in the fridge?

Like, I've... Imagine the bathroom. Like... Yeah. Like, no. Visiting. He's driving up them bills as well with the lecky and the water.

Absolutely. But, you know, like, if he probably isn't contributing to anything, like, say, he's not buying the food shop oh my god imagine you like planning a nice like meal with your housemate and he's like uh can you uh do

that a bit differently next time oh my oh i don't like that oh is there like is there enough for me you're like no it was we were happy we were we were a team but then once you say something oh i know it could have you can't say anything've seen the TikTok it's like making my friend's boyfriend do an interpretive dance to stay for dinner no but you need to send me some you can stay with us

as long as you do the secret handshake do you know it I think there can be some really healthy like there will be times where this works

relationships like that where it's like that you know it's for me it depends on the couple because the couple's too couple-y you're like oh my god

this is inappropriate especially but if you're making me laugh and if you're buying some food and if you're contributing to bills if you're like mucking in is he doing like the housework? is he like overcompensating?

yeah if you're not working he better be like Mr Muscle literally mopping away that would give him more of an ick that he didn't like participate or made everyone made

everyone's life you've got to make if you're if you're no he's freeloading definitely you have to make everyone's life 10 times easier or you will get found out you will get pushed out and the fact that this is definitely an issue because she's wrote in the dilemma oh yeah that's true is he freeloading i'd take the time to write an email into a podcast she's probably in her room writing that as he's there like

yeah shower and then she's gonna put this episode on in the background when they're all having dinner yeah I'm stressful

and he's gonna be going yeah god what a guy freeloading dick couldn't be me I'd write him a little schedule like every day

before you go to work clean the bathroom yeah do the food shop yeah you're still doing the mental work though like that's the thing

with like women he should just do it and be grateful like are you ever saying thank you to those people you can see it I've done like a friends episode

in my head like I've lived this with them and now I'm annoyed I I like the idea of a passive aggressive meal you're all around the table

passive aggressive meal and it's like what you mean normal tea time for us all what did you do today yeah how many jobs

have you applied for oh god that's uncomfortable intervention so you're gonna have to she's she's wrote in

and asked us wrote in like she's got a pen she's typed in Bridgerton and she's asked us is he a freeloader and we probably think he is because you think he is well you said it now so we're tagged so next what do we do about it like what do we do one option is to tackle it straight on which none

of us would do because we're british we could not sit down and go we think you're probably taking the piss a bit i've washed your clothes i. I've put them away. In your suitcase. I've made you a packed lunch for tomorrow while we're out. Like, you'd be so like... I'm all talk, basically. Yeah. There's no way we would tackle it head on. We would do it passively.

But in this room, he's having an interview. There's a torch. Joke's on him. I've not left him a fresh towel. We'd give him a 10-step plan to get out of freeloading this but she either has to speak to him or speak to her I think start off making a few comments

get him from work and be like are you still here oh my god joke about it I am dying do you think you can give her a script give her a little I'm the boyfriend oh I was going to. I'm the boyfriend. Oh,

I was going to say, I want to be the boyfriend. I'm the boyfriend on the couch. Yeah. Fill the beers up in the fridge, love. Not that we're making massive assumptions about this person. I'm having a great time.

It's completely in my head now. I can picture the flat. Can you picture a flat? I'm picturing a flat. Like her room's really nice and tidy like fairy lights like nice throws cushions

diffuser like got it all and he's just like fucking picking his nose and he's wiping it on the couch oh my god I think we should

advise him to leave he's the devil get out imagine if he's a lovely funny guy yeah what if he's really nice he's still gonna get a job though i'm sorry i drop it to the landlord if you if you rent it i'm sure you're renting if you're evicted call the police lucy that is oh my god i like it i like how you better watch your back in the house

with her she will have you out on your ass before you you know it I love that I just want to check how many people are actually contracted to live in this house hang on you've got that from Emily in Paris oh my god yeah oh yeah that's literally like it's where I get all my best inspiration from

it's real life hopefully they won't listen to this but in my last year of uni oh god they're coming for you first and last name oh it's beating really fast It's real life. Hopefully they won't listen to this, but in my last year of uni... Oh, God. They're coming for you. First and last name. My heart's beating really fast. I hope they don't listen. Just change the names.

I haven't spoken for a long time. Shmemily. But we lived with, like, a rogue housemate. And at the end, it was so horrible, this house. Like, at the end, it was awful. It was giving me issues. Living in this house. She can't breathe. awful it's giving me issues living in this house i took out my mum would like help come and like help us clean at the end and no like this house was horrible by the way like we had like egg fights with the neighbors and stuff like it was really bad oh god it was disgusting it was disgusting you've changed um but at the end i

was like taking photos of everything i was like this was this person this was this person send them all to the landlord i was like i'm not getting my deposit back like oh i love it yeah no and he was fully on my side he was like can i just say thank you to you and your mum so you're welcome why because they weren't doing their bit and yeah they were just like packed up the bags and left and i was like oh that's out that's out of order this is probably that guy is probably this one in this he's moved just sofa surfing down the country yeah in that case kick him out yeah okay listeners i've got a controversial money opinion from our friends at pension b it's easy to sort out your pension agree disagreeree? Disagree? Hard agree, but it really does depend

on who your pension provider is. I've had them all. A pale, stale male coming into my place of work to talk to me about pensions whilst I daydream about what's for dinner. Or an annual statement that drops on the doormat, left unopened for months with loads of unhelpful jargon. But in the last couple of years, I found PensionBee and all that changed. Yeah I'm a PensionBee girlie too and I've never looked back. It's so easy to set up. You get your very own UK-based account manager or a beekeeper as they are called who is on hand to support you. With PensionBee it's easy to combine, contribute flexibly and withdraw your pension money all in one place. Download the app today to get started or head to PensionBcom for more information. And remember, when investing, your capital is at risk.

There definitely needs to be like, what are the timescales of this? Like, I was going to say menage a trois and don't mean it that way. Just mean, like, what are the plans, right? So are, is it two roommates and one of their boyfriends just hanging around a lot more? And do we need to have a conversation about boundaries either with him indirectly passively aggressively aggressively or with her or by the landlord what we're doing here yeah oh no that's probably the last option but what are we doing here like is he here all the time i just want to be able to relax like do we live together or do we the three of us live together because if the three of us live together i need to decide whether i want that yeah or two like he has to contribute and there needs to be a

deadline to that or do you guys want to live together and I'll kind of go find my own? It's that thing, you don't want to be that girl. Do you like that girl? Like what are we? Yeah, that girl has the reputation. Do you know what I mean? Like the minute you bring it up.

You're a post-it note girl. Yeah. And you don't want to be, you're in your own home and you shouldn't be post-it note girl. Writing your name on the milk. Automatically, the minute it comes out your mouth or there's even a hint of a comment, you know that you're in your own home and you shouldn't be posting up girls but you automatically the minute it comes out your mouth

or there's even a hint of a comment you know that you're that girl now you don't deserve to be that girl you're not that girl they're the ones

that are causing like a bit of they're overstepping his overstating his welcome it's their problem and we have to be better at that as women like no no

I think the best thing to do depends on your personality obviously I we're in a problem I would say yeah flee the country um definitely build up the courage if this is not you but sit down and be like right let's just get this all out in the open you don't need to be like strict about it you can just be like guys yeah what's the crap what's going on here like like is it a written rule that you're staying here this much? Like, I can't plan my week. Like, I don't know when I'm doing my food shop,

when you're here, when this, this, this. Sounds like it's happened gradually and suddenly she's in this state where it's like, oh, there's three of us here all the time, but you're here all the time and we're out at work. Yeah, it must be a thing. Like, imagine living in central London. You never, it's a big possibility

that you don't live on your own. This must happen all the time. Whereby you live in a group setting and then someone gets a partner. And it's all honeymoon period and staying over one night. And then it goes to two. And then it goes to three. And they're in the pyjamas like the whole weekend. And they're like cuddling on the couch.

Like it would be my worst nightmare. I'm not going to lie. I'm glad I've never been in that position I think tackle it head-on in like a jokey way like you don't have to be mean about it yeah and then be like right either the option is like you don't spend that much as much time here or you start contributing to bills or yeah do some housework do yeah gotta do something yeah you could just say I've not like because there's three of us I've noticed the bills have gone up yeah is it right

we split them between us yeah yeah or even if the girlfriend pays more like that's your issue to deal with

absolutely I don't need to get involved in that but there's two of you one of me yeah I'm paying for half the bills

yes I think that's the best way to do it and use financial as an excuse always we're happy to take the fall

for you every time I'm like Holly and Laura's there. Yeah. We'll ring him. Yeah. Get him on. Bring him here.

Get him on a call. Get him on a call. We're going to have the conversation live. No, but you can say I'm doing a budget. I've got some money goals I want to hit. I feel like this is holding me back a little bit. Use us an excuse. However, if she just doesn't want him there,

imagine if the friend goes, okay, I'll pay more shit it's actually not about the money make sure you know what the outcome is healthy deadlines healthy routines maybe pick the day that oh like you know why does it come around on a friday and i'll make myself scarce and like you know i don't mind doing that once in a while like good luck tell us what happens i'm excited okay i've got a really good community win here. I've done my first budget this month and set up auto transfers to different pots

for my sinking funds. The three weddings and hen do's I have next year. God help you. God help you. Jesus. Each have a space, which I would have previously put on credit. After doing this exercise,

I have realized I could be out of debt in just over a year which is an incredibly motivating feeling thank you to you all i will be eternally grateful for helping me get control of my finances for the first time ever i'm going from an emotional impulsive spender to someone who's someone who has a clear vision and self discipline over her spending you guys are the best no you No, you are the best. You're the best. You're the best. Love that. Love those debt-free dates. Love the people in the community

even chatting about those. It must be so good to be like, you're not so motivated. It's like in your head, it's like, oh, maybe it could be. There's a time where it could be like that. And then it's like, right, that's my date.

If you don't have a plan, you don't have a debt-free date. Like, how will they know? Because money just comes in and it goes out, it goes in. But with us, the money has a plan. What's cool about the the friends and weddings thing is um two things one

when you put things on credit you don't really know how much you're spending because you just put on the credit card so you know you've got the debt but you don't really connect with what it was spent on it was just you know i'll put that hotel here that new dress you know that hen do whatever and it adds up so there's two things one is that point where if it's going in space you know how much it's costing you which means you're really thinking about what you want to spend on that activity you know we are all for going doing all the weddings and going doing all the stuff like it's it's a time period in your life where you've just got to embrace it you should never do it at the expense of your financial well-being. Like you can't be doing it where you're at a loss.

But the idea that you can put money, you can plan for it, save up ahead. One, you'll enjoy them so much more. You'll feel less like bitter if you have done it and overspent and it's compromised you. But two, because you're paying cash, as we call it, you're more likely to decide whether to do it or not. If it's not like an uber best friend, a really close friend, if it's a token wedding thing where it's a huge wedding and everyone's been invited and you don't really want to go,

the idea that you would move some of your money to a space to go to it and you don't want to go is one of those like, oh, moments. And you might say, actually, I'm not going to. Whereas credit, it's so much easier to be like oh fine yeah you just say yes to everything on the wedding point a few weeks ago and I have to highlight because I don't want to forget Tolu who's in our community wrote a really good blog about being like main character I thought it was such a good perspective we all go to these weddings and we're like so I need a dress like obviously I need an outfit I

need to get my hair I need to get my nails done and she just said weddings it's about the bride and groom like you are not the main character in that day so she said it made her go like I don't need to buy a new dress I don't need to get my nails done I don't need to get my hair done I don't need to get my makeup done like no one is looking at me it is not my day take a step back and I was just like that is such a good little reminder like wherever you're going whatever you're doing am I the main character in this and you can be the main character as in you can have the personality yeah but don't overthink one the occasion but it's not about you like if if you think if you've been invited to something

and actually you don't want to go or you can't go because there's a conflict you can sit there and overthink how am i going to say no how am i going to say i'm not doing it how again bring me she's not going she doesn't want to she's in her pajamas watching selling sunset like but it's the main character thing where you're overthinking what their perspective is because if you are not that close and if you are just a number in a lot of different people they're probably going okay never mind would have been nice to have you anyway whereas you're oh I need to go if you're constantly like cancelling on friends and you're like a flaky person with really good friends that's a different story like get your act together and arguably I've probably done that in the past but if yeah stop being like stop worrying about it like you're not that important

sorry yeah it's not your day we forgot you were coming like it's fine character in your life but not everyone else's yeah but i just love that perspective like for the everyone that's coming up to like wedding season like christmas time there are lots of events going on like yeah like just get a wedding dress you don't need to back don't get a wedding dress oh my god don't get a wedding dress but you're like i always think this and i'm not a big eco warrior i'm genuinely not but i do care about sustainability where every year when they bring out new christmas jumpers it absolutely infuriates me that people would buy multiple christmas jumpers across years you are ruining

the environment there's no it's a christmas jumper you wear it probably one time a year and you're going to buy a new one from tesco and sainsbury's and asda it really pees me off and buying a new sequin dress every year to go to a christmas party like sequins are so bad for the environment like just stop yeah go on vinted buy a secondhand one you are not the main character at the christmas party i mean you might be the day after the talk of town but stop spending loads of money on stuff like that yeah you definitely over imagine like some of these events where you think what dress i'm gonna wear how i'm gonna wear my hair how i'm gonna wear my makeup i need a new bag what shoes you overthink everything and then gone it like the event's over and you're like oh it wasn't like i didn't get a picture yeah yeah if you went out with me, there's no picture of you.

Yeah, I think just get a classic, simple dress that you can wear to like every sort of event. Obviously not if you have a lot of events like that. Yeah, but don't rinse it. Who does? But an LBD, throw a classic.

Different blazer on. Yeah, hair up, hair down. Earrings, not earrings. Different lips. Accessories, yeah. Like, no one, genuinely no one cares. Agreed.

Only you. We're all side characters yeah apart from to ourselves if you'd like to tell us your win head to the community in the app or email it to the vault at financial.com we're interrupting this pod to deliver a public service announcement ladies it's time to put your emergency funds to work that's right it's time to make your money work harder for you and we know the best place to put it emergency funds to work. That's right. It's time to make your money work harder for you. And we know the best place to put it so that you can take advantage of those high interest rates. No more slumming it in a basic savings account.

You deserve better. The Trading 212 Cash ISA is the simplest way to save, giving you, at the time of recording, 5.1% interest daily, the flexibility to cash out anytime, and no account fees. Just a side note, we handpick our partners based on products that we like. I personally have this ISA. If you want to get more out of your money, opening a cash ISA with Trading212 is a great place to start. So head to the link in the podcast description to get started.

Okay, time for our next dilemma. My whole life is about to change. Hi girls. I'm 25 years old and last year I was fortunate to buy a house on my own, which I live in with my boyfriend. I would say I'm quite good at managing money. I've paid off my car loan and invest about £200 a month into a stocks and shares ISA. Other than my mortgage, I have no debts. I worked hard to get where I am, having juggled two jobs throughout uni. However, my situation is about to change completely. Sadly, my uncle recently passed away. He was like a second dad to us, and apart from some money he left to other family members, my uncle has left everything to be split between myself and my two sisters.

This has come as a complete shock to us, and we were not expecting it at all. The thing is, my uncle had his own business, so the estate includes vehicles, money, shares and land. I have no idea at the minute how much we will inherit as everything is still being sorted out and inheritance tax will need to be paid. However we believe it will be approximately £100,000. Although I'm good at managing money I'm scared that when I receive such a large sum I won't know what to do with it how do i make the most of this to set myself up for life should i get financial advice what would you do with it i don't want to waste such a life-changing opportunity i know i'm privileged to be in this situation and no amount of money can replace my uncle i just know he left it to my sisters and me to set up to set us up for life and I don't want to let him down the weight of that personal pressure must be really hard we've heard a few people worry about

inheritance haven't we and making sure that they honor like the the family member and being really really really worried about it well especially if you've been someone who hasn't been great with money I mean she sounds completely switched on really organized on such a good path what this money will do for her is accelerate what she was already doing it'll speed her up but you know and it might be overwhelming if she's never had a like how many of us have had a lump sum like that in our life um it must be difficult we had the the weight of what you know if your uncle left it intended for you guys to all have it to set you up for life like what does that mean what does that mean like you know

are we going to vegas are we you know like it must be the the pressure of what does that mean or some people really worry about it going in the bank account and it and they say like frittering away yeah like dwindling do you know like what it was you know as if that was a bad thing as if it was negative as if it was like badly intended um of you to use it on your tesco shot i've seen i heard that so often people go i don't want to just use it for to live it's yeah that was the unfortunate pay bills oh because like money's money whether it's your money or whether it's from that lump sum and that's what causes sometimes some people to go we're going on a big holiday it's what he would have wanted yeah yeah but then like the house has got mold and the kids could do it and like

yeah and there's you know a lot of people this isn't for this girl don't like paying off debt because what is so interesting i've seen it so often with financial people ask long before we did the vault people would ask this question all the time i've seen it so often with financial people ask long before we did the vault people would ask this question all the time i've got this debt and i've come into this inheritance but i really don't want to spend it on a debt and you know why that is it's because they're ashamed of the debt yeah it's like i don't want them to pay for my past mistakes yeah basically what they're saying but so it's kind of like well if you are gonna make a change now and learn from your mistakes and you've kind of been given

a lifeline then whether that money goes into savings and then you pay off your debt with your wages or whether you pay off the wages pay off the debt with the inheritance and then use your wages to build up savings the money is the same this is like the net worth calculation it's the same but mentally it's like they don't want to put that there yeah because like what did you spend your inheritance on oh my cleared Klana Klana account

can you imagine it's already done you can understand how they would feel like that but genuinely maths is maths and money is money

you know you move the emotion away from it it's just a formula a sum of calculation like you can't attach it's just

this is money it's like everyone takes it so personal and a good way to think about this is money it's like everyone takes it so personal and a good way to think about this is if and everyone listening if you're driving in your car if you're on your own if you know you are um at home listening to this watching this if someone gave you a hundred thousand pounds now what would you do so take the emotion out of it this is not an inheritance it's a tax-free lump sum that you've been given, what would we all do? And what financial is meant to help you with is there's a process to allocating money from

a common sense perspective, which is proven to help you feel financially well, build strong foundations and then build wealth. Proven. So let's go through the motions. So firstly, do you have a mini emergency fund of at least one month's expenses? So work out what that is. Say it's £3,000. You take three from the hundred.

You put it in a bank account. Right. So you've got 97. Yeah. I've done my maths. Look at us. And then this is a finance podcast. Women in STEM.

Just get my abacus out. She threw an abacus at me last night, actually. Someone. A child. A small a small child oh it's two he'd had enough playing with it i didn't even anger him he was just out of love um so then we go right do you have any consumer debt now this girl doesn't she's in great shape but if you do have the mentally credit card. Many people recommend paying off consumer debt as long as you commit to not going back into debt. There's no point doing it otherwise. But say if you've got 10 grand of consumer debt,

let's take the 10, we pay that off. So now we've got 83. 87. 87. Oh, yes, yes. I need a pen and paper. This is my age rather than my lack of mental arithmetic um so we've now got eight to seven yeah eight to seven look at us we are now

debt free we've got a mini emergency fund so then we look at our chunky emergency fund which is literally our like war chest and it helps us protect ourselves it makes us feel better high yield savings at the moment so we should be making some good money on it so you tend to look between six to twelve months expenses depending on if you are self-employed solo you live with your boyfriend this person but not not married necessarily so you might do your own finances but for anyone listening at home pick the emergency fund for you and let's let's let's make it let's say it's 33 no that's wrong you know what i'm doing because i think it's 83 let's say it's 37 grand i know this is a lot right but pretend that that's the emergency fund that she wants she wants 37 grand in cash she's

now got a 50 i won 50 yes holly's like i have no idea i'm just gonna say yes say with confidence no we'll so now the 100's gone to 50 but you have a full a huge emergency fund that is making four or five percent like you know on that money you've no consumer debt you've no need to go back into debt because you've got emergency funds so then you do your budget and you kind of look at okay as i spend is what sinking funds do i need if i don't have them you could use an opportunity to put money into those because that's money that you're going to spend anyway this is just giving you extra peace of mind um and this is a really good this is the time to go should we go on a holiday yeah should

we travel with it like treat myself at this point you're not doing it at the beginning you're doing it once you've looked after the absolute basics so we're coming down the playbook so we're down at big life goals which one of them could be um travel you've already got your home so so you don't need to save a deposit so we've got we've got say we're going to spend 10 grand on a beautiful holiday or two beautiful holidays we've now got 40 so you've got 40 000 pounds you've got, say we're going to spend 10 grand on a beautiful holiday or two beautiful holidays. We've now got 40. So you've got 40,000 pounds, you've got a massive emergency fund, no debt, and you have a mortgage. So when you get to grow in the financial playbook, one of the best things to do when you're in grow is to make sure you're balancing investing in the market, which is investing in stocks and shares, and maybe overpaying your mortgage, especially if you're

someone who would like that gone. There's a mathematical calculation to do about what's better or what's worse depending on interest rate but a lot of people feel better with a paid off mortgage just to see that because it's the biggest bit of debt you're ever going to take out in your life isn't it like the biggest chunk of money that's ever going to be against your name to like chop that down is mentally very rewarding especially in like the first few years of owning your house like yeah amazing and so you can imagine a scenario where she takes that 40 and she splits it and she goes I'm going to put some in retirement I'm going to put some in an ISA um and invest that and let that grow but that's like pre-retirement investing and I'm going to you know sometimes you have a penalty on your mortgage so you might be

able to pay 10 so actually coming to the question of um so at home I hope you've all done that exercise which is whether you get a hundred thousand pounds in a lump or if you get it in bits, you should always have a plan for your money because what happens is when you have a plan, it doesn't matter when the money comes to you, you always know what you're going to do. Whereas if you've not got a plan and you just only look into next week and next month, if you came into money, that would be quite overwhelming. So we should all have a plan for if money came into our lives. On that basis as well, and if she did follow this process and got to that grow point and decided where things should be,

it sounds to me like she wouldn't need a financial advisor. And the reason I say that is she doesn't have loads left. We've spent the hundreds. But in terms of, like, it's for much bigger amounts of money. Now, if she decided not, so she's not actually had debt and stuff, and if she wanted a lower emergency fund and not to go on holiday and she suddenly got 70 or 80, that's probably a good idea to go and speak to a financial advisor.

If investing was the thing that she felt like she really wanted to do with that goal, get that help. Yeah, and they're really good at looking at your planning, you know, like, you know, do you plan to have children? Do you plan to have some time off? Would you like to live somewhere else? Like, would you, you know, you do you plan to have children she must have some time off would you like to live somewhere else like would you you know what are you thinking about getting married there's loads of questions that will help you think yeah i would say if she's

planning on getting married and having kids to put a little bit well you can put it in your cash ice can't your high yield savings account get ready listen maternity leave like get that fund going never too early but in the meantime you know what we would then still say is when you do a budget with financial we say your excess goes to your goals and when you ingrow it's really important that we don't just spend everything we make you're not out the woods you you should be investing we want everyone to get to grow and so she should in her budget start putting her money to work because this other money has kind of taken care of through the stuff that she would have done.

And where's the four, five, six, seven hundred, a thousand pounds a month investments? She can, I don't know her budget, but if she is paying a chunk off her mortgage or if her bills are manageable and if she's sharing them with her partner, she should be ramping up investing. And she can do that, to Holly's point pre and post retirement

because sometimes money's locked away but you get a better tax advantage um but she should start thinking about that like it's and that's the way that you can look back and what will actually happen is you know she could be 50 60 70 and be very wealthy super wealthy but it won't be because of the hundred no it will be because of the investing that she was able to do as a result of the hundred does that make sense you want the back and go oh it was the hundred that turned into whatever is that incremental it was the changes yeah so how do you think is it like a mate is it a common thing say someone a woman specifically who kind of like lives a normal life and then inherits like a lump sum

like an amount of money that she would maybe never see unless like apart from this situation do you think it would be daunting then being like i need to go and see a financial advisor yeah yeah we hear that all the time women don't want to go to financial advisors yeah because it's scary imagine walking to a room and feeling out of place not understanding the jargon not understanding the fees like you feel like you're going to get screwed over there's not a lot of trust middle-aged man on the other side of the table like that's the typical demographic of a financial advisor and they do get a bad rep as a as a wider community um and that's not fair but because some people see it as a sales thing you know I've

chatted to people who have had a financial advisor advise them and get them to transfer pensions and they're all it's legitimate but the the fees involved and the relative pension pot size they should have left it where it was like it was and so there is a massive mistrust but the flip side of this is a really good relationship person, qualified financial advisor, they just look at something with a much broader perspective. They look at horizons. They've got planning tools.

They look at your needs. It's like a really good therapist or a really good doctor, a really good masseuse. They've seen people years before as well and learnt from so many of people's experiences that have gone before so they have just got that life experience I suppose but if it's not an incredible amount of money I would probably try and do your own research like Laura said there's loads of like our community you can look at we've got we've got resources we can help point you in direction of communities that have got free help and if it's not a considerable amount of money

that you're left with once you've done all your important bits like emergency funds and stuff you can genuinely do it yourself can't you you can give him where she's at in her life it's not a considerable amount of money that you're left with once you've done all your important bits like emergency funds and stuff, you can generally do it yourself, can't you? You can given where she's at in her life. It's not like she's exercised all the basics of, you know, she's not coming up to retirement. No, no. And she's not. It's not such a big sum of money that you really want to make sure you're optimizing all the different tax opportunities and things like that. And it sounds like she's in a slow and steady pace. Like if you're in to get rich quick, the danger is you'll go and do something without the right guidance and advice and you

could you could lose it so another thing and you know she does talk about she talks about her uncle very fondly um grief's a massive thing and so you actually don't have to do anything yeah for a while yeah because she's sorted she's no impending emergencies she's no massive issues she's sorted. She's no impending emergencies. She's no massive issues. She's in a really good place. She could just stick it in accounts, stick it in a couple of different accounts and breathe a little bit. And, you know, she'll get a feel for, you know,

carrying on doing your own money journey, carrying on doing the good muscle memory of the saving and investing and paying off your mortgage. And she might get more comfortable with the pressure of what to do with it. I like that. So, any final words

before we close the vault today? Whoever's going to be sitting down having that conversation with their flatmate's boyfriend, good luck. Please film it. I want to see it.

I want to be fly on the wall. There'll be someone sitting there going, she's talking about my boyfriend. Like, I hope. Oh my God. We play this episode

if you've got this at you the bigger thing for me is on the kitchen as you're cooking yeah turn the volume up weird that he won't be listening it won't it won't he won't be listening she will but he'll be having a great time watching tv yeah my book out big absolute privileged position here is oh my god you live with other people sometimes like i suddenly flash back to university when you you literally live with strangers yeah and like you're trying to navigate your home yeah you're trying to navigate that personality like dynamic like why are you in my home yeah get out yeah good luck so weird just change the key

change the lock oh my god such a good idea get petty. Get petty with it. Drive him out. Ignore him. Don't talk to him. Like an alienation. Like, won't pass. Who? Doing the cold shoulder. Is that his name?

Can you hear something? Just start acting completely psycho. Smoke him out. Smoke him out. Yeah, freaking out. Dress as a witch. My husband's watching this going, is that what she's trying to do to me?

No, actually, Holly's husband locked her in the house the other day in one of the wings of the house yeah we've got a new extension so I've now got an office in one area of the house and just he says by accident I'm not quite sure we'll work it out he just like locked the door because he's so used to doing it not to the office but to the like to the wing to the extension but he's like locking the house up and he was going out for a meeting and he locked the door. Literally about 10 minutes later, I was like,

could I have a drink? Went to... And I was like, oh, it must be stuck. I'm like shoulder barging the door. Like, no, no. So I rang him and I was like, where are you?

You've locked me in this side of the house. He's like, oh no. I'm really sorry. Really sorry. Gone to work. Like nowhere near close? No, no, no. Like literally like down the boat away.

And I'm like, I think there might be a key on top of the pantry. I now have an injury trying to escape my own house. I was doing the like, trying to knock something off. You can't keep it there anymore. You've just broadcast it. I know. It's not on top of the pantry.

I can guarantee. So what did you do? Luckily, that side of the house, there's a back door there with a key. But I obviously didn't have a key to the front door. But like an old granny house, we've got a lockbox on the door. Code is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. So I left it in my slippers, went out the back of the house, opened the door, went round to all the neighbours.

Because we live on the oldest, we are the youngest by 50 years in our street, everyone's retired. So I'm like, hi, hi, in my slippers, let myself in the front door and then let my... Who's trying to smoke you out? Trying to smoke me out? Who's that? I'll try harder next time.

Hide that to you next time. Didn't work. Still here. Always come back stronger. That's all for this episode. The Vault is now closed. Just a disclaimer, The Vault is just a chat

around life and money topics and we are not giving financial advice.