The Vault with Financielle - Managing Money With ADHD | The Vault Episode 35

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Send us a textWelcome to The Vault with Financielle. In Episode 35 of The Vault, we discuss this week’s controversial opinion, “Everyone should elope”, before diving into our listener dilemmas: “Should I prioritise building wealth or invest ethically?” 📈"How Do I Get My ADHD Wife on Board with Our Finances?” 💸 We celebrate a listener's incredible progress: since committing to the playbook in July, they've hit their mini emergency fund goal, closed a student overdraft, settled family debts, started sinking funds, and even dipped their toes into investing—all while feeling their money stress lift bit by bit! 🌟🎉If you’d like to share your money win, head to the community in the Financielle app or email [e-mail] your (totally anonymous) money dilemmas to [e-mail] and we may feature yours on a future episode 💌Thank you to our partner PensionBee, who are on a mission to help you build pension confidence and create a world where everyone can enjoy a happy retirement. With PensionBee you can combine, contribute and withdraw online. Join over 260,000 customers saving with PensionBee. When investing, your capital is at risk.Sign up and combine your pensions here 🐝Chapters:00:00 Introduction00:20 Welcome to The Vault 01:14 Controversial Opinion: "Everyone Should Elope" 06:06 Dilemma 1: "Should I prioritise building wealth or invest ethically?" 💸18:06 Community Win20:29 Dilemma 2: Managing Finances with ADHD 🌶31:15 Final ThoughtsThe Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Oh, I like your outfit. I feel like I'm never not blending into this couch. I am here, it's just a head. It's giving like, country club. I'm on a yacht. Custled. I've got a tea spill on these pants, so it's not. Welcome to The Vault with Financial.

This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. Good morning. Hey. Happy pod day. Happy pod day. How's everyone doing today? Good. I feel cosy in my jumper. Yeah.

Cosy season. I want jumpers that don't scratch and I couldn't wear that. No, she couldn't wear it. And these are non-scratchy jumpers. This is just literally me. I'm the problem. I'm like a sweatshirt girl, but I love the look of jumpers. A knit. And I put them on and go...

You need a fine knit like that. I can rarely wear a jumper without like a t-shirt underneath. Yeah. It's got to be very not like fluffy or anything. Could you? Yeah, I could wear that. Okay. You're better with that. Yeah, okay.'ll get i'll take one of those please next episode you'll see laura

sat in lucy's top okay controversial opinion time everyone should you know oh this is timely so i'm going to take this one because two of our really good friends um two of um our really good friends um eloped a couple of months ago now um it was a huge shock but an amazing surprise like a good one can i clarify yes elope is we don't tell anyone or like don't tell like the why that you might tell like your immediate i could never keep that secret no so we're eloping everyone by definition you didn't then because you told i get it i'm glad you're clarifying because i did clarify with them i was like so how long were you planning it for and who did you tell like who knew the secrets they've? They've got a little boy, so they obviously needed childcare

so he wasn't involved in the wedding. It was just them two. It was truly like a romantic elope situation. So I said, who did you tell? Who knew? And they were like, just our parents. So they could get childcare primarily. I actually don't know if they'd have had children

if they would have told the parents. I get the impression that they didn't. It was truly, for everybody else outside those circles a surprise and I was like how long were you planning it for like six months they're like no no we decided like six weeks ago that we were going to do it so it was a real and were they like planning a wedding or anything so when they first got engaged I remember us talking about them maybe wanting to go like to the south of France and I felt like they were going to do a destination wedding it then transpired that they had been looking at wedding venues in the UK.

Just astronomical. They told me the price is £65,000 for a venue that they were looking at. It needed to be close to her parents for a number of reasons. But yeah, she was like, just astronomical prices. They're looking to move house. They've got a little boy. Like, it just didn't stack up. Yeah, they were already

living together as husband and wife and they had a family and responsibilities and plans and goals so we're actually talking about either

a party the legal contract plus a party that's what we're talking about especially when you're at that stage because you've got so many other responsibilities

so would you spend £65,000 on a party? No. Well, that's the minimum. It sounds like it would be way above that. I think that wasn't inclusive of like wedding dress and cars and it was the venue. So yeah, they went up to Edinburgh.

The pictures are amazing. I'll share them with you all later. But I think if Neil and I got married now with the two boys, we would probably do something similar. And I do think it's because of how financially well we are. I wouldn't want to put us in a situation because the man out of this relationship was like, I'd feel like we're bragging all the time

because I'm just like, I can't get over how... He's so pleased. What a good decision we've made. Everyone's actually jealous. He said one of his friends was like, I'm still paying off our wedding from four years ago on a credit card

like and they both agree that they didn't want that for themselves they didn't want to be paying off this debt years down the line and it looks like

they just had the most magical time so now I'm thinking did he go to like an uber nice restaurant or something as well like the stuff that you wouldn't normally

the perfect day if you think that you've got if you were going to get married and have the traditional wedding anything else around that you scrimp on and you save and i was like so did you go and stay in a really nice hotel they were like we stayed in a really nice hotel that we never would have paid the money for but because we knew that this was this actually a bargain three days yeah three days was the wedding we went all in on everything we went for like an amazing meal amazing cocktails we went to they went to the Edinburgh Fringe they watched some comedy shows they watched live music they had an amazing photographer did exactly what you wanted yeah everything they did was of high quality because you get to a point in a wedding where you start

to scrimp on stuff because it becomes so expensive you go we're gonna have to cut that we're gonna have to compromise on that there was no compromise they literally had the best time so I am like super all up for people eloping and we were all so happy for them if you truly are a good friend and you care about them the pictures you can just see how happy they were and they still had the wedding glow when they came back like they were still living the wedding glow just and then do a party like that was the wedding yeah yeah I was about to say like would they do anything else

because I was like yeah I met some people like so obviously what we're going to do and they were like no no like that's it that was it

so we got them a really nice gift as well and I felt like we could be more generous with the gift because I didn't you know in return she was my bridesmaid she had to come on the hen do she had to come

get a wedding gift for gift you were a rubbish friend I was a selfish cow like a selfish cow on reflection but you don't think at the time you're so young and naive but yeah

I felt like we could have been a bit more generous with the wedding gift and give them a really good one instead of some shite that people end up giving because they give so much money elsewhere

so I am pro elopement not controversial no go for it I like it. Okay time for dilemma number one. Should I prioritize building wealth or investing ethically? Hi I'm trying to diversify my savings and have started investing. I know a very general rule of thumb is that it works out at eight percent over a long time and time in the market is better than timing the market. My dilemma is should I risk potentially lower returns for investing in ethical shares, an option in money box? I know most banks and pensions are already tied up in oil and arms

etc so it's a drop in the ocean but it feels wrong to invest in the FTSE 100 or the S&P 500 when many of the companies are destroying the planet. On the other hand I want to build my wealth as much as possible can we talk about this elevated conversation yeah yeah can we have more dilemmas like this please this is amazing but we're all on a journey so I like I feel like the for people listening pick it apart a bit so the one of the first things she says is she wants to start diversifying her she says savings but probably assets in that if we save that's great and you can get good percentages um with interest rates it obviously impacts um it going up and down but typically it's been a bit strange in the past year but inflation's higher than the savings rates and so what happens is inflation has this impact on your money that it it doesn't go as far.

So when people talk about you lose money in savings, it means that it doesn't grow as quickly as costs are. So that shopping basket this year costs 5% more than it did last year. And if your savings or your money didn't grow 5%, you're backwards, you're behind. And if it did grow 5%, don't pat yourself on the back. It's just, you're okay, you're the. And if it did grow 5%, don't pat yourself on the back. It's just you're okay, you're the same. But if it grew 8%, which is kind of the measurement she is used for investing, for example, you're 3% up. So your money has grown, but costs have still grown, but just not as much. And so when people talk about diversifying, you need that emergency fund in place, you need it accessible, you need it in cash. But this is why investing is important because you need to try and beat inflation and grow your money. Just a quick one, Laura here.

If you're wanting to take back control of your money, ditch debt, make better decisions and build wealth for the future, the Financial app is for you. With Financial, you can track your spending on the go, hit your money goals faster and create a realistic budget that you can actually stick to. Not to mention, you'll be part of an exclusive money community who share tips, offer support, and celebrate your successes along the way. Click the link in the description to download Financial and start your free trial now. This is your sign to take control of your money today. Okay, I'm done. Let's go back to the vault. So when you get to that space where you want to invest we also want people to chill a bit with it and not overthink and not overwork it you invest via a pension as she talked about you're already investing but if you want to a really good way in the uk is a stocks and shares isa in other countries you've got tax efficient accounts really go to those first because

some people just open the first investment account they see in the app and they've opened what's called the gia which is the general investment account and you in the app and they've opened what's called the GIA, which is the general investment account. And you pay tax on your returns. So we don't want that. So the fact that she's gone through this flow is really, really important. And that's something that we should all be thinking. If you're sat there and you don't have any investments other than your pension, sit and think, hmm, should I? But make sure you've got savings first. So the question she asks is, should I be ethical or should I go for growth? And big thing there is she's assuming that an ethical portfolio won't grow as much. She may have looked at it, but that's not always the case. Picking ethical portfolios means that a fund

manager in a big shiny building in Canary Wharf, has picked companies that don't contribute to arms, don't contribute to climate change, and they go through rigorous checks. There's two things there. One, that it may not grow as much because unfortunately these unethical companies or these companies make more money and contribute to your portfolio performance.

The other thing sometimes, which is a bit frustrating, is the fees on an ethical portfolio may be a little bit higher and it's because someone's had to do a little more work if you're just in what's called a tracker which tracks the whole market effort didn't go into that you know a computer just picks them all because they're all the same and you might get like a 0.45 portfolio fee but sometimes it's like 0.7 0.75 um and so it's the moral question that I don't think we can answer, but that's what she's asking. But now it's much more accessible to be able to work out where your investments are going. So say, for example, when I first started to learn more about my pension, it was when I was in my

other workplace. I didn't realise that I could contact the pensions company and work out which fund my pension was being invested in. I just thought, they choose for you. You have no say. Like Laura said, it's a shiny building and they all kind of decide what goes on. And actually, you can message them and say, can I just check what am I for?

Or you get the paperwork, which is arguably very confusing. So you sometimes can speak to somebody or look through the paperwork and you can see. When I got my self-invested personal pension, I chose an ethical fund, but that's a personal preference. And I think it still performs. Like my pension's grown. So you're making an assumption, like you say,

on the fact that it's not going to perform very well. This day and age people, especially the younger generation, are much more... Savvy, like an interest in care. A bit more, like there's a bit more activism going on when it comes to, like you always say on TikTok, people every week like cancelling companies because they're finding out the unethical practices that they're partaking. That information wasn't available to us when we were younger

or when our parents were younger and they were putting money into pensions and just wasn't a consideration. Whereas now it's much more spoken about. There's many more providers that just focus on ethical um investing and where you put your pension and stuff so it's a really good question and like Laura said personal preference but I personally do invest in ethical funds and I've asked that any funds that my money's invested in that it's not with tobacco not fossil fuels and arms. The fascinating thing about this, and I want someone to really think about what impact they can have. We want women to have money, especially. We want women

to grow portfolios. We want more investments, more money in the hands of women. We want to be financially well. But also what happens when you invest is you buy a little, you buy a stock. So you're buying lots of different stocks. And so the big companies rely on their stocks being attractive. So a fossil fuel company can, if their stock price goes up and stock prices go up because more people want it and they can get more money and they can sell more shares to reinvest in their business. So high stock price means the executives do well, the staff do well, the shareholders do well, but the business does well because they can put that money back in if they want. So it's a sign, it's a vote of confidence and it means they've got more money to invest. If we started to actively

divert all our little bits of contributions into buying shares in companies for good, tech for good, environment for good, you know, consumables, companies that are actively trying to improve their carbon footprint or their, you know, waste disposal or whatever it is. We're voting for them with our money. We're giving them more money to reinvest into these really good practices. Okay, ladies, I've got a controversial money opinion from our friends at PensionBee. Bougie friends impact your financial wellness. Agree? Disagree? 100% agree. Bougie friends can derail you on your money journey whether you're paying down debt, saving towards a big money goal or just want to get to the end of the month with

money left over. Yeah one thing to note here is that your bougie friends may act bougie on the outside, but are probably struggling to manage their money. You heard it here first, ladies. Keeping Up With The Joneses is officially out and financial wellness is in. If you want to delve further into this conversation, check out episode 27 of PensionBee's Pension Confident podcast. The Pension Confident podcast is available right now, wherever you usually get your podcasts. And remember, when investing, your capital is at risk. And the hope is that if we continue to do that at scale and we all think about that, the companies that before were just the default, you know, the arms company, maybe that company's not going to do that well.

Because maybe it won't win a contract because its share price went down. Or maybe it'll start reflecting a contract because its share price went down or maybe it'll start reflecting on diversifying its income streams because the core arms stuff, it could be more defence stuff. I'm kind of making this up because I don't know that area exactly. But that's what voting with your pension

and investments could do. And with your purchases as well because the more that these companies get, we buy from these companies that don't morally behave very well, the more money, like it's circular. So why don't we start to invest in renewable energy and making sure that we're buying from companies that have got like good eco practices in place that aren't greenwashing us and telling us we're really good with our you know sustainability when we know they're not yeah

I think this money like you're obviously it kind of in it for the longer and with this kind of investing I think the idea of okay when you're getting that money back what do you want the world to look like yeah that's a good and it's becoming so popular now imagine what it's going to be like in the next 20 years like a whole generation are kind of moving towards that way so if you can feel a trend of people wanting to care for the planet arguably those funds might do really well yeah and you're putting a bet on something on a trend that's now in 20 years time yeah she's checking the right things as well so check the fund like everyone go and check your pension fund percentage and tell us what it is to put it in the community because so many people

don't know what it is and don't know what they pay on their investments but especially with the more innovative companies it's very physical It's very visual. You can't find it out. I know mine, I think is 0.75 and I could move to 0.45, but I chose for that investment part, 0.75 because it's an ethical fund. And I just chose that. Some of my others aren't, but I could actually go back and look at what those are and see if I can make these switches. But it's just that knowledge of the percentage. some people are off paying one and a half percent to a financial advisor and they really don't need to be they could be very much for you they could really be if they're not the right candidate for someone to manage their assets because they've got lower assets they might be better off in a more straightforward some

platforms have a 0.1 you have to do a lot more stuff and I don't want the 0.11 because I've not got time to actually be managing picked shares. But some are 0.1. I am making an economical decision losing out on a percent that as my portfolio gets bigger,

I may have to put some time into going, actually, I need to move into a lower cost one. It just all depends. When the pot gets bigger, that percentage yeah you can imagine that percentage grows on a big pot of money and then you might have to start doing the work yourself but ultimately you might be in a good financial place yes you've got headspace as

well to take it on in a different time of your life so I might be prepared that okay I'm going to ramp up my investing because I want to put money towards good causes so I might be okay with a higher percentage, but I just have to know the economical impact and the financial impact it has on me. As an individual. And it's like, it's your giving money, it's your price to pay. But I think your point was very valid. Investments is just one area. Vote with your vote and vote with your spending. Sometimes you can with the right energy company pay for a particular energy package which is more renewable again massively skeptical so i'd want to do lots

of research on knowing that if i'm paying a bit more for my energy it's because it's with a good company that is going to put that money back you want to make sure that you're not greenwashing at any point in this step like do your research and don't just hope for the best because people are getting away with um greenwashing us for a long time starting to be called out on it a little bit more but you've got you've got access to so much information. People just don't realise you can get... Laura's always in board reports. I'm like, what are you doing?

She's like, reading this company report. They're absolutely shafting us. I'm like, okay. I'm a massive geek. If anyone wants me to look into any company, I'll have a great time. Break down what they actually tell us and then what they tell the shareholders.

There's two different stories. Yeah, I like it. Okay, I've got a big community win this week. I'm feeling so proud of myself. I've been a member of Financial since April 2023. I was never in serious debt but I knew I could end up down that route and I knew I wanted a brighter financial future for myself. At the same time I was making a budget in the app then not filling it in or really following it. I decided to pack it in and finally commit to the playbook in July this year. Since then, not long at all, I have hit my mini emergency fund gold. Gold. Technically.

Closed my student account overdraft before it turned into a regular account with overdraft fees. This was super important to me and I did it. Settled all the little bits of money that I owed family which was causing me stress. Started a range of sinking funds that helped keep me afloat with things I know I'll need to pay for. Started contributing to my Lysa again after over a year of not. Started adding to my Vinted balance, only little bits bits to a stocks and shares iser whereas previously i'd have spent it on more but more stuff i don't need dipping my toe into the world of investing with money that's not really mine girl math just to get to grips with a really unfamiliar topic

in a way that feels comfortable for me i have to try harder wow this happens quite a bit where someone's like yeah I do financial I do financial and then they go I don't I say I do but I'm actually I'm in the community I'm in the vibe I like the slimming world vibe where I used to be like so I'm on slimming world and I'd be like stood up in the fridge like that doesn't count doesn't count what I mean is I know what I should be doing yeah but I'm not paying attention to the little things that all make such a difference. So she's gone, I've had it, I'm doing it,

I'm kind of getting back, getting back on track and absolutely killing it. I mean that list. I know. The list is like, I need to go through it again on my own and be like, am I doing all these things? Putting me to shame. Once you get that momentum, I think that's right.

You're like, loads of people are like, I tried it, it didn't work or I've been doing it for ages, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's good. I just don't get ahead. If you're doing financial health properly, you're writing in the community and you're telling everyone

because you just, you get that buzz, that dopamine hit and you get growth. Yep. Growth as a person, growth with your money, like, oh, yeah,

you have to shout about it. Great win, love it. If you'd like to tell us your win, head to the community in the app or email it to thevault at financial or email it to the vault at financial.com okay dilemma number two how do i get my adhd wife on board with our

finances hi girls this is my first month using financial and i'm loving the podcast and your non-judgmental conversations my wife has adhd and feels overwhelmed really easily it's also difficult for her to keep track of our finances. I've tried multiple apps and spreadsheets to help as I feel quite stressed about our financial situation right now. I'm really trying to get her on board with Financial as I know she works better when she can truly fully immerse herself in something, blogs, playbook, podcasts, etc. The problem is that although she says she's motivated to get our finances healthier and I truly believe she is, her actions don't quite match up. She's making an effort to spend

less but doesn't have a clear picture on how much less there needs to be and how much we realistically need to be putting towards paying off our debts, etc. I feel as though I'm always nagging her whenever I want to talk about money, it's just not the right time or she can't think about it right now, which I know is because of the overwhelm and probably because I've accidentally interrupted her in focus mode. We have £11,000 in debt and I really need to feel like we're in this together and that she's not just passively tracking spending. How do I go about this? This person is so aware of their wife's reality and how she copes with things and this is such a caring dilemma I think we would wish more partners would be as understanding as this person. Yeah it's really

interesting we have a lot of people with ADHD or that are neurodiverse that come and find our platform whether they've seen a blog or they've seen a community win or whatever it might be because our plan works because it focuses on one thing at a time and that therefore removes the overwhelm we also give people a step-by-step plan to follow if you were just going to happen upon a banking app or like a martin lewis website i can understand that that would be overwhelming it's overwhelming for someone that's not neurodiverse to have a plan and to just focus on one thing at a time. I cannot tell you the stress reliever that is for people.

Money is very emotive and it can feel rather complicated, but just removing the emotion from it and having some sort of static plan that you can move through, there's a lot to be said for it. And this is like, we want a plan for life. And so the big problem, and I find this, is the hyper-focus to that I don't want to talk about it is true of so many areas of my life.

What we want to feel like is that we're making general progress and there's a need for it to nail it and to lean all in and to be all intense. And then there's a, this is overwhelming, I don't want to do any of it. And this is why you would have binge eating or binge exercising or just the life is so overwhelming and I feel like they've done a great job on reflecting on that but obviously ultimately want to get ahead and that's what I this is why like I built a playbook it's just what you do in

what order and then when you've made your long-term plan how can I build a framework um Calvin you said this before you said bumper rails like when you've made your long-term plan, how can I build a framework? Calvin, you said this before, you said bumper rails. Like when you're doing bowling, like the keeper's not from falling in and you might not get the strike, but you'll knock some down and you won't go into the gutter. And that's what I need. So for example, things like making a budget together

that's not super intense, actually can be frustrating for the person that has like neurodiverse tendencies because they want to go, no, no, no, I want to do it. I'm like, let's do this and let's do that. And that's like day one, but motivation will not keep us through. Strategy will. Motivation falls off. Strategy keeps us on course. So having that conversation about, okay, let's see if we beat the budget, but for now, let's build a budget together that's doable, achievable. The dopamine hit you get from the win and not the guilt of, oh, I went too deep and I got back into savings

is massive. And then the second point is the accountability and tracking as we go. The POTS functionality really helps me. Some people track actuals. I don't. My brain just won't let me my husband would and does but I like to set the plan and then put them in the pots and it's not too tight and it's

a privileged thing to say that it's not too tight but I have been there it has to be tight but the pots really helps me because I know what's coming up and I'm going to share the tip that Calvin shared because I thought it was amazing for someone who may be an impulse spender or maybe get like your food budget at the beginning of the month and you've got to stretch it for the month he divides his food budget into food week one food week two or spends week one spends week two and what that helps is if you're someone that goes quite intense at the beginning and feels like you've got a lot of money if you have a you know an impulsive spending episode or something come in or plans a proper opportunity you know that you're not going to get to week four and not have anything because there's a week four

pot and having that collectively in a collective bank account together I think would really help you her stay on track but you both know what the plan is so that you get to the end of the month you've got a win you don't feel like a failure and you've not, yeah, like come off your goals, but it's not overwhelming. Yeah. And I think if you've got a bit more capacity to take on things, a good tip could be doing your budget together. And then there is a little bit of life admin, especially if you put money into sinking funds and pots that follows after that, if that person can have a bit of hyper-focus to create the the budget together I've got a tendency to then go like dolly daydream and get a bit distracted you'll see me in the pod just like staring at space um if they've had a bit of a hyper focus

doing the budget together then leave them alone and then you go and put the money into the pots and then the next day it could be right I finished off the life admin for us and here are all the pots now. Because sometimes it's quite emotional to do a budget sometimes, especially if you're on a money journey. It's quite exhausting emotionally. And just from a life admin perspective, let them do it. If you've got more capacity, you put the money into pots, do the actual moving of the money and then present it

when that person's not feeling so overwhelmed. Maybe do the same with the, like, obviously with the same breaking down what you can spend by week by week. Instead of having a debt-free, like, date, it's in maybe, like, two years' time, do it like, OK, we'll be in, like, two months, we'll be this month and, like, make, like, a bit of a timeline with, like, little milestones each way

instead of just being, like... Yeah, just gamify it. Yeah, gamify, yeah. The goal's too big and it feels yeah gamify it the goal's too big and it feels too far away and you feel like you're never going to get control of that big beast

that big monster whereas if it's in bite-sized chunks like by the end of the week we'll have put we'll have paid £50 off our debt that's the goal

that's it nothing else add like really small goals to the goal tracker in the app and then you get the dopamine yeah

and sometimes you know I find it helpful that I think when my husband can tell i don't want to talk about it something's overwhelming i need space on especially life admin we're talking you're not anything even deep or important he'll and i have to respect that he actually might want to get it sorted because it's bothering him he'll sort it yeah that's what i mean i've done that bit take the reins yeah so they don't want to talk about and sometimes the intense the overwhelm is because they've they've messed up or something's gone wrong so i think firstly we can stop things from going wrong but secondly the bit that you want to do that might be a bit more intense that

they're or she's not ready for as long as it's not like something like you know i've done it yeah you could be maybe you agree can i give yeah can there be a code word and then i'll give you like a rundown yeah of what i've done yeah that person might well that makes it smoother yeah let's lean into our strengths like if you're not that person and there's many things that neil just takes control of If you're not that person, and there's many things that Neil just takes control of because I'm not that person. And I think he used to feel guilty about it. But there's things that I lean into

that I'm much better than Neil at. Loads of things. What do you do? I don't know. I'll think. I'll come back to you. But the point is... I'm amazing at them.

The point is, cooking, I can't. I do not lean into... at them the point is cooking I can't I do not lean in no no I said what can you do it'll come to me cooking I can't

I was going to say liar liar do you know like one of those TikToks where it's like right don't call me out oh yeah we're gonna

I am a gourmet so it's like when I cook I take it all on because lean into your strengths definitely money minutes

just money minutes as well money minutes take a money minute instead of a money three hours yes otherwise

it's so overwhelming if you like sat down with all the spreadsheets and everything that is so true because if she could lean into those because the thing that we think is going to take forever with all the spreadsheets and everything. That is so true. Because if she could lean into those,

because the thing that we think is going to take forever takes 30 seconds. I have put off little tasks that I've done them and gone, oh, it wasn't that bad. But because I made it up into something bigger. The idea of it is just so overwhelming. Yeah, that's so true. Money minutes encourage encourage those yeah wow i like it i loved i loved the thought and care that that person's written in for their wife

let them listen to this episode venture into the financial atmosphere read some blogs just like here's here's here's this new app that I've found yeah don't push it on someone is probably my advice as well we've got some great blogs yeah like all broken down it's not overwhelming at all

like you'll see in the community there's massive wins there's such tiny little wins that I like like the coffee win the other day when someone was like

my win is I got a refund on something and then I put it into a emergency fund or whatever whereas I would have bought a coffee with it or whatever document tell us all of you wins in the community like if you write a post in the community that mentions ADHD everyone's so helpful oh my god popular post

yeah so helpful I think knowing that you're not alone in the way not necessarily just your brain works but your attitude to money the fact that something that you think is a negative actually is a positive in so many different spaces but you just need other people to reassure you of that and and again accepting different especially if you're in a relationship different roles are a good thing you can be a big support system to her and and you already are being by just identifying i mean god even just the absolute recognition of i sometimes interrupt yeah focus mode yeah you are so self-aware like she might be in a hyper focus mode like love it it's so common though isn't it like our top performing

blog of all time i think is the money and adhd blog it just shows you everybody or a lot of people are struggling with this overwhelm when it comes to money definitely and it's finding a strategy that works for you and your partner which you'll find one but just no pressure and I feel like yeah it's really nice to hear that nice dilemma that's all for this episode the vault is now closed and just a quick disclaimer the vault is just a chat around life and many topics and we are not giving financial advice