The Vault with Financielle - “Should I Be Able to Manage My Money by Now?” | The Vault Episode 61

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

Send us a textIn Episode 61 of The Vault, we discuss this week’s controversial opinion, “We NEED to break up with influencers”. We then dive into our listener dilemmas:💸 "Should I be able to manage my money by now?”💸 ”Buying alone or waiting for my partner”We celebrate this wonderful community win: “I discovered this podcast a couple of weeks ago and have caught up on all the episodes. Great to hear helpful realistic advice about finances and has really inspired me to improve my own situation” 🥹❤️If you’d like to share your money win, head to the community in the Financielle app or email [e-mail] your (totally anonymous) money dilemmas to [e-mail] and we may feature yours on a future episode 💌🐝Thanks to our partner PensionBee. They’re a leading online pension provider on a mission to build pension confidence so that you can enjoy a happy retirement.Pension saving is made simple with PensionBee - you can combine, contribute and withdraw online or from the palm of your hand with their easy-to-use app. Their retirement planning tools - like their Pension Calculator - blogs, videos and podcast - all aim to help you take control of your pension and build a better financial future.When investing, your capital is at risk.Chapters:00:00 Introduction03:38 Discussion on Influencers and Their Impact15:29 Listener Dilemma: Managing Money at 2518:47 Transitioning to Monthly Payments19:11 Building Financial Confidence19:34 The Power of Budgeting Tools21:25 Podcast Review and Listener Engagement25:00 Dilemma: Buying Alone or Waiting for Partner29:52 Final Thoughts and Relationship DynamicsThe Vault is an entertaining yet thought provoking podcast that answers our community’s dilemmas and confessions surrounding women and money.Visit https://www.financielle.com to download our app.Watch the podcast on YouTube.Follow Financielle for more:▶︎ TikTok▶︎ InstagramAbout Financielle:Financielle is a female focussed finance app helping women to take back control of their money, ditch debt, increase savings and invest in their future.Recorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web ▶︎ Instagram▶︎ LinkedIn

Hey everyone, it's Holly here. Before we get into the episode, I want to share something exciting. That's right. If you're looking to take control of your money, the financial app is your go-to tool. With the app, you can track your spending, create realistic budgets, and hit your money goals faster than ever. In fact, did you know our premium community members save three and a half times more than our free users? That's incredible. Plus, you'll be part of an amazing community where we all support each other on our money journeys. Whether you're starting to pay off debt

or planning for your future, the app has everything that you need to make it happen. So what are you waiting for? Download the Financial app today and start your free trial. Trust us, your future self will wish you did it sooner. Welcome to the Vault with Financial. This is a safe space where we talk all things life and money and no topics are off limits. Good morning.

Good morning. Morning. Thank you for waiting for me because today I was at a BBC slot this morning and I felt really bougie because I got a cab straight here and I felt like I was don't know. Do you like if you're in the city and you're like, I've got my next meeting and maybe you have a driver. I didn't have a driver, it was just a little bit of a camp. I was like that voiceover where they're like, and tell Donatella that.

Yeah. To minimize the press. Yeah. I was doing emails. In fact, I needed to do voice notes to now in the car and be that person, but. I was like, who am I picking up and where are they going to and what are they doing with the day?

They must pick up some so many people. Oh, they ask me that all the time and they're like, what do you do? You're the only and they're like, what do you do? What do you do? So you're on it? Show me, find me, show me proof. Cause you wanna tell the family, you can imagine taxi drivers that pick up

someone famous and be like, I had, I don't know who would be like, who would be our. It's funny when there's like. GC. GC, do you ever call it? Oh God, Lucy would love it. There's afton paparazzi there actually and you just kind of walk past them and go, hi.

They're behind me. I actually want a new Instagram pic. Can you just take one? Can you just, yeah, maybe I should slip them some money. Just pose. Yeah. Wait, just look important.

Have you seen Jake Shain's, got a really funny, is the guy from TikTok that does, be Judas when, yeah, be the weather when it wasn't picked or when it, whatever. And he does a funny thing on his comedy show, which is to his audience, he's like, pretend I'm on the red carpet,

and they all get their phones out and put the torch in and go, Jake, Jake, Jake, and he walks along it, smiles. So maybe next time I need to pose and then we'll like show. Yeah, he needs one with you to take a picture of you and then people are like, oh, yeah, oh, she must. A lot of people set them up apparently. Not there, like I've heard it, I've heard it. But yeah, so I've come straight from here.

So if I end up talking absolute rubbish, more than usual, bear with, you might need to step in because blonde hair. So you're warmed up by now. Maybe. You're like ready to go. You see, well I'm warmed up with a little bit of a fee. Move Lucy.

Yeah. Step aside. I've not got presenter hair. Lucy's got presenter hair today. I did have a moment, I watched a little bit of it today and I thought, could there be a day whereby there's an emergency and Laura's got to present? I was like, and she'd do it, she'd be fine.

I thought you would be fine. So that was getting on. Oh, you mean on, in my life. I was thinking maybe, I don't know if Lucy was in it. I was not, and she'd do it, she'd be fine. I thought you would be fine sat with Geth in. Oh, you mean on, in my level. I thought you meant Lucy with Earl. I was not replacing Lucy with Earl. I thought if Lucy with Earl would have to move it, I can't even remember, welcome to the vault unlocked at home. I have to do it over and over and over.

And do you know what? If anyone got pulled it and I had to step in, I'm not just saying this, Geth in and or Rav or any of the sort, they literally, they hold your hand, you don't realize how much hand holding they do. They really, they sort you out. You forget something, they'll prompt you and you're like, how did you, like, how did you know I was gonna

need to say that? So yeah, they dragged me through it. I could. That'd be so good. Okay, time for today's controversial opinion. We need to break up with influencers. Ooh, this is an interesting one. And we probably as financial look like

we give influencers a hard time. We're actually friends with a lot of influencers, believe it or not as well. So it's no shade thrown at the influencers per se, but we have a lot of community members that have fallen foul of believing that they should live up to the standards or like the lifestyle that some influences kind of portray.

And I think there's different types of influences now. It used to just be the fashion influences and now it's turned into things like health and fitness and you might well be inspiring people to live a healthier life or, you know, there's health ones, there's mental health influences as well so that it's, I don't want to pigeonhole people and be like, we shouldn't have influences.

I actually quite like that normal people from everyday life can effectively turn into a celebrity. Whereas like when we were younger, it used to be like silver screen Hollywood stars were your famous people or people on TV. Whereas social media has just made or created so many opportunities for people. And that's not where we're giving criticism.

It's when things are oversold to our community. Like I really do struggle and I've deleted again. I'm like worse for it, Instagram and TikTok because it seems to be the people I follow are women of a certain age, constantly promoting products. I was, I just want to look at what people's lives are doing. I'm just a bit nosy. So that's what I like about Instagram,

but it's definitely turned into a sales machine now, and that's where our community fall foul. Because I love it when I find it really difficult with choosing what to wear at the moment. I, you know, whether it's changing seasons or whether it's fashion trends have gotten narrower, you know, like there's jokes about everyone looking the same. And so what I do love about seeing with people wearing different outfits, even if, you know,

there's some influences that are pure fashion influences and they're showing a lot of outfits, for me, there's one way of looking at it if you have the right self control, which is that's the equivalent of the old fashion magazine. Like I used to go in a magazine and look for inspiration ideas. And then if I go into a shop, I'd either buy that exact thing, or I could be looking for like a new workout fit and can go, oh, and I did it the other day actually. I saw her and I can't remember which influencer,

but she was wearing cream jeans, a white t-shirt and a tan blazer. And I was like, I like that look. And even though I've not exactly bought from her and clicked her links and done whatever, I've recreated that look and even though I've not exactly bought from her and clicked her links and done whatever, I've recreated that look, but I did it in a mindful way from the budget and I kind of needed to replace it. I'm going to shout out for it because she's a listener, but Sarah, our friend who's a

Copper Beach house, is such a refreshing influencer to follow because what is it's honest and it's transparent and this is my life. She does do brand deals or she does show and she's bought things. But she always gives these like caveats that are like, I'm buying this and I've worn it 50 times or I'm replacing something that's like, you know, Nanny's replacing. Or please make sure it's part of your budget.

Like this is not. But she hands it home and I- She always puts a caveat after. And I love like, sometimes she'll say, oh, this is my go-to dress for nights out. I must have worn, my money pair wear on this dress is something ridiculous. Like she genuinely, and we're very social,

like group of friends, she'll always put a caveat on, people say, I love your dress. And she'll say, literally got it seven years ago. I've worn it probably four times a year. She's just so refreshing for people to see. But then she will say, oh, we're going to here, we're going to there, we're going on holiday. They do lovely things,

but she's just very honest and transparent and open. And I think it's the, like, I do follow a couple of people that do hauls. And it literally drives me insane. Like, I think it's so dishonest because I'm, you know, 99.9% of what they're showing to camera, they're not keeping. It's really bad for the environment. It's really bad for the person at home thinking,

oh, when I do an online order, I'm just getting one t-shirt. No, I'm gonna get, buy a capsule wardrobe. That's not a thing. You don't buy a capsule wardrobe in one go. You build it over the time with good investment pieces. So I really respect fashion influencers and beauty influencers that are conscious of the community that they've kind of created and looking out for them.

But yeah, everyone wants to be an influencer, don't they, as well? It feels like. So much of it is, if you're good, and this is why I like the financial method is so important, if you have frameworks and if you have money goals, then new things or buy new things can fit into those. But if you think every time I see something,

I have to click it, you know, then it's not, that's not a plan. So you can buy, but it has to fit into something. And like Holly said, they're either getting things for free, sending them back. I do think that it's a healthy dose of inspiration, but this idea that you need a full wardrobe every swing or I need a new summer wardrobe, I need a new this.

No, like you should be adding quality, sustainable pieces from here and there. It's like, do you know who? Victoria Beckham's obviously been such a style icon for so long. And what's interesting, especially as I'm getting older, I'm definitely interested in making sure I don't for so long. And what's interesting, especially as I'm getting older, I'm definitely interested in making sure I don't dress too young.

And I don't mean necessarily like revealing stuff. I mean like if it's too, what I would call trending. Trend, yeah, yeah. I just feel like you're trying to keep up the Joneses a little bit when you do that, you know, anyway, no matter what your age. But when you're older, I think, I just feel like you lose your identity

so you just copy everyone else. When you look at Victoria Beckham, I just feel like you lose your identity, so you just copy everyone else. When you look at Victoria Beckham, I would say in the past 10 years, her style hasn't changed. She went through, new dress every night, new this, whereas actually, she sticks with the skinny jeans and then some bootleg ones. She has classic tailoring, she has basics. And I definitely am trying to lean in more to that.

I am being influenced, but in a really different way. Yeah, like classic looks, because replicatable as well, and not that, you know, I find it, like a lot of people ask for, I'm like a mini influencer, just for my handful of followers on Instagram for what I wear on Morning Live. When I wore Holly's suit, it was like that thing,

when you borrow a sister's outfit, and you're like, it's not mine, it's my sister's, and she knows about it. I'm always like, did you take it from her wardrobe? And actually that was from principles. And I was like, I don't even know what that is. You don't even know what that is? It was principles.

The panic on Lucy's face. Everyone wanted, where is it from? I need something like that immediately. When I wore an L.K. Bennett dress that I bought last summer and I have worn that literature across the web, I've wore it 20, 30 times, which is a lot for like, I wear trackies most of the time. But I knew that Astor had done a bit of an inspirational copy. And so I was finding myself saying, it's from here, but there's kind of drawn just the same

there because you do feel that someone's, I've just talked to you about money and you've missed it all and gone, where's your dress from? I like it when I say, it's really old mango. Really old Zara. I think when you buy something sparkly, flowery. Like pie. Like something that really draws the eye. That's when you get fatigue when you go in your wardrobe cause you go, ah, that's really high pattern.

Like I feel like I've worn that 20,000 times where there's nothing better with picking out a plain white tee and a blazer and skinny jeans and nice trainers. And that's like, you look more put together. You're not fed up of it next week. You can be happy to pay a bit more because you know that you're gonna wear it.

And it's just like classic timeless look. We're just influencers, what can I say? Yeah, but it is being aware. It's a job for people and people forget as well. They're comparing themselves to someone that is their bread and butter. They wake up in the morning, they're ordering stuff online because they know they're gonna have to do a reel,

they're editing it like we are not influencers. I like finding, I go through phases with like certain influencers, me and my parasocial relationships with these people that they don't know I exist. I'm like, I just have like a certain few and I'm like, I feel like you're a trustworthy person to follow and like, you're doing it for the right reason. I'm not hanging on every word they say, but like,

I think you can get inspired by them. I saw it a little bit with fitness influences actually where who's the one that you like and she's moved to America, which came- Oh, Holly Brooke. Holly Brooke. And the same with Zoe Ray. Yes. They are very transparent about the fact that they do this full-time. It's like when they're fitting in these long runs

and they're very aesthetic runs and they can go for like a nice healthy lunch after it, the majority of people training for London Marathon or whatever are whacking it in, in the dark, in the wet, in a not aesthetic outfit, but that's more like real life and fitness influences. It's very easy to have a particular body if you have the time and money to have the training schedule,

the diet, the sleep schedule. They can go home and have a nap after a run. We're running into work, and so I think they're very transparent about that. It's a similar thing. Like it's a, it's not real. It's not comparable. I tried squeezing like 5k the other day

before the kids went to school. And I was down eventually when I got to school. I was in like a red oversized, like Nike thing, green trousers, like red and green should never be seen. Like running leggings. And I couldn't get to my 5k. So I ended up dragging, I was running with all the kids around the school grounds.

Like they were joining me, like that is real. Like that, if I was an influencer, I'd be like, this is the reality of trying to fit in a job, kids, taking them to school, getting back to work on time. Like it's not the lunchtime Cheshire run by the canal. Like, yeah. Selfie, Aroan. I always think that like when my mom used to,

was younger, she used to like go on runs when me and my brother were younger. And she'd just go out and have the water bottle that you hold in your hand. No watch, no phone. Just a running vest. And I like, we're here like pure sports socks, get my pure sport roll on.

Like, the vest. So I see the vest on TikTok again. Jesus Christ. Like you're going for a 5k. You don't need a vest with a drink in. I'm sorry you don't. No you don't. Well it's because they need someone to put the phones

so they can take a picture. When people run I'm like, sorry it gives me the itch. There are some really funny reels in TikTok. So that going when you go out for running the 2000s and it was like my dad's shirt and like a bottle in your hands. My dad would go and run in the 2000s.

Yeah, definitely, definitely. Might not even have a watch on. Might not actually record the run. What was your PB? I bet it was. What's your idea? Do you know, yeah, that's right, I used to only know my 10 and 5K PBs

because I'd entered races. And had like a picture of that. Oh my God, yeah, I did. I scrolled down to see my Wigan 10K time from a lot of years ago. I, oh my God, yeah, I did. I scrolled down to see my Wiggin 10K time from a lot of years ago. I can't remember now, but it was fat. I think it was between 45. It might have been 45.

It was fast. And I was just- He's just yoring. No, with that sprint finish. Yeah, oh God. But I wouldn't have recorded it on Strava and have it like, you know. Facebook post.

There's pluses and minuses to it all, but I'm just picturing your mum now going out for a run and not being bothered. She'd look so chic, I'd say, for Jen. She'd have made it look good, no matter what. She'd have influenced us. Okay, I'm going to read first dilemma. It's the moment you've all been waiting for. It's time to reveal our controversial money opinion from our friends at Pension B. It's

too difficult to track my pension, so I'll worry about it later. I couldn't disagree more although it depends who your pension is with. Mine's with PensionBee and I can check the progress of my pension with ease using their app. The trick to tracking it all is in the payday routine. Each payday I create my budget, I pay into my pension using the app, I check the performance of my pension plan, and then I update my net worth to show my money progress. It genuinely couldn't be easier. I have to agree with Laura on this one. It's so important to understand how our pension is performing

and it's all about visibility. Gone are the days when your pension paperwork lands on the mat once a year. Ladies, we need to be in the know. Download the app today to get started or head to pensionb.com forward slash UK for more information. And remember when investing, your capital is at risk.

Should I be able to manage my money by now? Hey, I've really been enjoying your podcast and have been taking bits of advice. I've taken out life insurance and sorted my pension. I'm not sure if I need some help or just some stern words. I'm 25 and decided to go to uni this year to increase my earning potential. With uni comes student loan,

which is where it gets embarrassing. I've given my loan to my mum to look after, to set up a direct debit for a weekly allowance. This has been working great for me. I've been sensible with money and putting bits aside to pay bills, et cetera. However, at 25, I feel like I should be able to look after my money and budget it properly.

The thought of having that much money at my disposal makes me feel sick since it's paid termly. I know my past habits, I would have blown it all at the start and had nothing left the last few weeks of term. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. First of all, you get the old sticker, like thinking about pension, life insurance, and like tick tick.

And secondly, it's not normal to have that amount of money given to you in one go. And we always talk about how student loans are distributed and not given on a monthly basis. And in the UK specifically, you tend to get paid on a monthly basis when you graduate to your big person job in the form of a salary. So I actually think it's really sensible.

And you do you, it's not normal to have a huge chunk of money and for you to be able to logically split it up, but you've done that. I know you're giving it to your mom and you probably feel a bit, oh, I'm not really doing very well. Like I shouldn't have to do this at my age, but you're well aware of your spending habits,

it sounds like, and you pass money mistakes or however you wanna refer to it. I just think that's a really good foundation or a little methodology or system put in place. It's not too different to doing a financial budget because we get paid all of us and that money is given a job and it's put away. We don't have thousands of pounds

left in our current account at our disposal. We're all in the same position as this person, just she's managing it a little bit differently. Yeah, she's not gonna get stern words from us actually on that one. Sorry. Listen, I think that getting money from a student loan is very weird. Like Holly said, it's not how you would normally be paid. And so what I would say is it would be really helpful to graduate to, graduate, student loan, graduate to like a monthly payment. So firstly, if she's unsure and if this method works for her and if she trusts mom,

which sounds like she absolutely does, because God forbid some people don't have that relationship. So then crack on because for a period of time, it's not worth the risk to put yourself under stress and possibly, you know, spend money then and end up in like more debt or struggling. But I think the kind of weekly spend concept, it would be good to get you up to a monthly because again, it depends what she's using. It's just for spends, isn't it? It's not really for bills. I suspect bills are bigger and really for bills. I suspect bills are bigger and accommodations bigger. It's not this at 25. We all did different things at 25. We're not all built the same. We're not walking

the same path. So I don't like the idea of milestones. But if you say, she says she was a bit irresponsible and not great with money. So this isn't a plan forever. No. So can she get to a point where instead of it being weekly, it goes monthly and she gets kind of paid that monthly payment from mom and mom keeps that. Cause what she has to do and the other thing is she needs to practice spending and she needs to practice some sinking funds cause what you don't want is to then come out, hopefully get this,

she's invested in her education to be able to earn more. You can't still keep giving it to mom. Yeah. You know, you need to be, you need to be a bit brave. So she's scared. She's scared of losing it, but she needs to mess up a couple of times. She needs to overspend and understand the budget.

She needs to be all, you know, she needs to be all in. So there's part of me that's like, okay, next phase is, let's get a monthly chunk. Practise, she needs to practise saving or putting some money away and not touching it. Yeah. like, okay, next phase is let's get a monthly chunk. She needs to practice saving or putting some money away and not touching it. Do you know what I mean? Like that saving muscle memory.

And seeing it in your bank, but like, not doing that's not for this. And I think to be fair, I do think the Starling Monzo Chase Revolut, the pot functionality, it does work. It really does. It helps keep it in your current account out of sight, out of mind.

And even if yes, you can get access to it, there's something psychological where you don't like it. So I don't like it when I've overspent on, let's say groceries and I have to move money from the fun, it's always wanting the fun account. And I go, oh groceries aren't fun. I want to over wreck my entertainment account in the hope that like I'll have more fun.

Fun is food, so. I even hate that. That's a mental thing for I'm budgeting wrong. You don't wanna come out and then go straight into being paid and then waste it. But yeah, she's okay. It's downwards. You're halfway there.

Like Laura said, you're getting paid weekly and it sounds like that's absolutely fine and it's working good, but like, let's stretch it to monthly and try and give every penny a job. Like you do weekly, there should be no different, but then you will be really ready for when you get that first paycheck and you hand it, I know what I'm doing with it.

And just trust yourself. She's scared to trust herself, so she's not backing herself and don't be afraid to fail. I appreciate you want to limit the possible risk of failing on a bigger scale. She's usually people that are unaware that you have a problem. You're like, meh. She's got great self awareness.

Yeah, you're giving yourself a hard time, whereas actually, surprisingly, we're not gonna give like, no stone words. You're doing really well, but yeah, trust yourself a little bit more. Just stick to the methodology. Like we'll say it time and time again, we have done this for years now.

We have had thousands of you across 188 countries using the methodology. It works, it works. Stick with it. No, not in financial jail. No. Has go. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm actually going to read out a podcast review instead of a community win today. So this is technically our win. So where is someone at telling me how podcast reviews work? Because I've actually never given one of mine. So this is actually from Apple podcasts where you can actually type and give us some words. Spotify is just a five-star rating, please, everybody.

You know what? Just give it a five-star, just as easy as that. So here we go. I discovered this podcast a few weeks ago and have caught up on all of the episodes. Great to hear realistic advice about finances and have really inspired me to improve my own situation. Like it.

We've got one. Success. So I'm just looking. I like it when people listen back. Like we look at data on the pod and how it performs and what we want more of or where people are listening from just because we love that kind of stuff. And you'll see people go,

like our early episodes will get a hit and then episode two, then episode three, which means that people find us like a week, I don't even know how many weeks we're on now, 50s? I mean. 61. 61. And then they'll fly back, you'll see episode one go up,

two, three, four, five, because people listen to the back catalog, which I love, because you'll see how, I don't know, have we changed over time maybe? Visually, I'm not sure. I think Lucy's hair will still be on point episode one. Just looking how you do it. You go onto the main bit.

So you go on an episode and then you click the vault where it's got the long list. Yes. We need people to review. Yes. Share. Please review, share with people who you think might need that little boost.

Get into WhatsApp groups. Yes, WhatsApp groups. Oh, holy grail, female WhatsApp groups. Like the world would be sorted in that WhatsApp group, I'm telling you. Make sure you're following as well or subscribed because it helps us reach more people. There you go.

Oh, we never asked you for this. We've never asked you for anything. And even then, we don't ask you for dilemmas anymore because every day on like Lucy, we have too many. We don't share them all anymore, right? No, we have far too many. And some of them are a little bit like repetitive and we might have answered it in another episode

and whatnot, but we never ask you for anything. So go on. On Spotify, I wasn't following up. And I wanted to listen to Thursdays on Friday. And I have to search for it, but when you're in the car, obviously you don't want to be searching while you're driving, would never do that. And so, but I follow a couple of other podcasts

and they're there and I'm like, for God's sake, where's mine? And so I've since looked and so I followed and it appears. So when we've done new ones on your homepage or Spotify, I press Spotify, it's there in our bright pink glory. So a confession, I wasn't following us, but I am now and I've found that when I'm a little bit behind on some episodes,

it's easier than like necessarily having to search. So yeah. Yeah, blue dot. Okay, time for next dilemma today. Just a quick one, Laura here. If you're wanting to take back control of your money, ditch debt, make better decisions, and build wealth for the future,

the Financial app is for you. With Financial, you can track your spending on the go, hit your money goals faster, and create a realistic budget that you can actually stick to. Not to mention, you'll be part of an exclusive money community who share tips, offer support, and celebrate your successes along the way. Click the link in the description to download financial

and start your free trial now. This is your sign to take control of your money today. Okay, I'm done. Let's go back to the vault. Buying a loan or waiting for my partner. Hi financial. I'm in my late twenties and I'm in a long term relationship. I'm fortunate to have received money from my grandparents and my parents

and built up my own savings through responsible budgeting. I'm thinking about buying a home in the next two to three years. My dilemma is that my boyfriend has very different spending habits to me. His mindset is more get money, spend money, though I have been taming him. He's also in the process of starting a freelance business, which I foresee will take up a lot of his earnings as he reinvests it in growth. We're due to move to London soon, which is a non-negotiable as it's where we both have the most job opportunities. The amount we're spending on rent makes me feel like signing up for a mortgage would be a better use

of money, however, I'm torn between two options. One, buying a smaller one bed flat on my own with a longer mortgage to get on the property ladder and stop wasting money on rent. Or two, waiting a few years until he's in a better position to get a mortgage together, which could allow us to buy a larger, more future proof home. I'd love to hear your opinions. I've got so much to say.

I have. But wait. Oh, go and take a ticket and take out a hat. Before we say that. Do you like in the Clark shoes and you need to put your butchers? Before you hear what Holly and Laura have to say, if you're a Spotify listener, we're going to put a poll up. So what do you think she should do? Oh, okay.

And you can go and answer now before you hear what everyone has to say. And then I wonder when someone answers the poll, if it tells them immediately what other people thought, and then they can listen to us and go, well, that was like, you didn't do what everyone else wants to do. That's stupid. We usually go a bit rogue. I think everyone always thinks like, you didn't do what everyone else wants to do. That's stupid. We usually go a bit rogue. I think everyone always thinks like,

oh, I know. You're a rogue. Button. Yeah. Go on. Actually just moved countries. I don't know where to start. So, the, she talked, there's a difference, right?

Where you and your partner have different financial pots. So she's coming to inheritance, is budgeting, he could be in a situation where he hasn't had that lump sum. Most of us are not blessed with that kind of legacy, but he might be building up his savings, but he's just a bloody long way behind. So where you are both in a situation where you're super responsible with money,

you're very aligned, you're kind of saving even at a similar rate, it's just you've jumped ahead. And your long-term relationship, and because there's lots of wider warnings with buying with someone, one that you're not married with, and just someone who, this is a financial responsible person, in this example, for example, that I'm saying.

So you kind of trust how they're gonna be with money, because it's a big commitment getting a mortgage with someone. You are both signing up for that mortgage. If one So you kind of trust how they're gonna be with money because it's a big commitment getting a mortgage with someone. You are both signing up for that mortgage. If one of you stops paying, the other one has to pay it. The bank literally couldn't care less. And if they don't or you don't,

it can really damage your credit and stuff. So there's a whole heap of reasons why it's a big thing to buy with someone else. But if you are both on the same page, there are ways that you can structure the purchase where you might own more of the property than him. I've seen it before actually, you put the whole deposit down and someone else doesn't, and you're then both going to pay the mortgage payments. And so you can speak with a lawyer and structure the purchase like that.

So that's an example where you both call, she doesn't say that. She says he's like a get it, spend it mentality, massive red flag, not relationship wise, just financially because this sounds to me like someone who doesn't really believe in good financial management, doesn't sound like it'd be the ideal person to buy a property with because you're, you know, you literally have more money on the line and it could, I don't know, open up more cracks later. The, the, if you were going to buy on your own, which I do think that if you are having enough money to do that and can, I think it's a great idea.

You can have a situation with him where he helps pay you rent. You can document it so that he doesn't have any claim on the property and it's fully yours. I do like that idea because I think the other thing that would piss me off if I'm you is if I wait, I'm going to wait, going to wait, going to wait until we're both ready, you miss out on the opportunity to be in the property market, especially in London where typically prices do rise well and he ends up never getting there or it doesn't work out. And so I have all the options. There's something in me that feels like you should either buy on your own, own it on your own, protect yourself legally and see how you get on or, you know, don't buy with him and don't buy on your own and make your money work in the background.

So it's a kind of, you know, get, take some advice, maybe invest in it so it grows, but don't buy with this guy right now. No, I completely agree with everything that you said. I was immediately option to buy on your own because if it's something that you're gonna do anyway, and you've got the means to do it and he's by no way close to doing it,

you will start to feel resentful and that relationship will inevitably possibly break down anyway, because you'll be so annoyed, like Laura said, potentially missing that opportunity or thinking, why can't you just get your shit together? Whereas if you've bought the place and that's a tick off a goal that you want and it sounds like you're really passionate about,

and financially good sense as well, if you can buy a one bedroom flat, that's really impressive anyway, go ahead and do it. Like we've seen with the property prices, I think that you'll be happy in a few years time. Should you wanna buy somewhere else? If he's ready to, when you're going together, perfect time and you can then upgrade to even then

a one bedroom or you might even stay. And like Laura said, you can change documentation at any time and if he wants to contribute and go in together or whatever it is, but yeah, I would not be waiting on this person, only because it sounds, we talk about money personalities all the time. And like Laura said, it's not a bad thing,

it's just that you come on, sounds like completely different pages when it comes to how you manage your money. You could just become very resentful if that person technically holds you back from you wanting to progress on the financial journey. Yeah, she doesn't say how long they've been together because you can be very different,

but the longer you spend with someone, you know, he, he, he might come closer to, to kind of responsible budgeting. And also he, she might inspire him. Like if she says, actually I'm going to go ahead and go to buy, they have a really arrangement where actually he gets cheap rent is going to get cheaper than if they were renting anyway, can save more, but it might also be inspired by actually, I, you know a property, I wanna do this with you, I'm gonna save up a pot and then I'm gonna buy it, it's a great idea. It's just always like, talk, should we rent,

should we this, there's no real commitment for him to have to go, I'm gonna buy this flat, if you wanna come in, we need to have saved this much by this date because this is what I want. And the freelance point is, I definitely admire when someone decides to go freelance. A lot of the time people underestimate how long it takes to build up that client base,

to build up that repeatable income. You need a higher emergency fund and the risk is much higher. Some people in that position look to get like income protection insurance to help protect that downside of, if I get poorly, if I can't look after clients, I would not want to be financially tied to a brand new freelancer, no offense freelancers, but you don't need like, financially tied means like you've got

a mortgage together because the responsibility will fall on you. And so, you know, that's the path he wants to go down fine. But I think again, if he wants to be on the mortgage at some point, if he wants to buy a property, as those freelancers listening will know, it's a hard slog. You've got to build up your earnings. You've got to get your tax return and demonstrate what your taxable earnings are.

And then you can think about a mortgage. And that's not easy. Is it going to be like two years of earnings sometimes? Generally they like two years worth of accounts, which is more than two years of earnings if you think about it, because it depends when the accounting years are. A mortgage advisor would definitely be able to help, especially one that can look after freelancers. There's specialists that can say, actually demonstrate this, this, and this.

But for me, I just feel a bit chaotic. Likes to spend, suddenly wants to go freelance, isn't very good at saving, doesn't budget, do not get a mortgage with this person. You can still go after you with them and you still want to hold it with them and have a nice relationship. It's not a like, oh, I would never say that. It might be.

Vibes, I don't know. Well, I don't know, after going through that list, you might be like, so where's this going? Like, are we not- Are we gonna get on? Yeah, is this gonna grate on me eventually? Like, I don't know what it'll be. I would like to see the follow up on this one. Yeah, me too.

Very much so. I would definitely like a follow up on this one. And I'd like to know what the community think about this dialogue. I'm sure they will. I can't wait to see the poll. Cause we can't see the poll yet, cause we've recorded it.

So can't wait to see the poll. We'll go on Instagram that day. So when we release this, we'll go on Instagram and see what people said. Exciting. Any final words today? I just need an update on that one. It's like EastEnders, isn't it? Hey, really?

Relationships and- This is the massive like intertwine between relationships and money. Can you believe we're predicting that this relationship will end? I'm so sorry. But I'm just gonna say it. I feel like it's gonna-

We've seen it play now with so many people whereby the money personalities are so on the opposite end of the scale. And no movement. Yeah, there's no movement. No movement. No willing. But then do you know what we do see sometimes

in the community, people say, you know, my husband's not on board, or my wife's not on board, and then literally they play a bit of the podcast. Yeah. And they show them. Maybe play this dilemma. Maybe he'll like shit himself.

Yeah. I don't know, I get the vibes from it. It'll just be like, what an idiot. We're talking about you. Sometimes we do see, but you can't take, what is the word? You can take horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't, it just doesn't work. It's like a fitness journey. You can't drag it. You can't be like, you need to get doesn't work. It's like a fitness journey. You can't drag it. You can't be like, you need to get fit and you need to lose weight. That person has to do it for themselves. They want to, and they learn by osmosis. And so again, like you, again,

you've been given an amazing leg up by someone in your life. That's not what everyone gets and your partner hasn't had that. But there's lots of other things that you're doing that could just rub off on him and could bring him closer and could inspire him. You don't need to like preachy to the person. No, yeah, because you could be like,

the other way you could also be like, hurry the fuck on the fucking bridge here. You could easily be that person and be pissed off and we would all be like, rightly so, but actually you could just carry on having really good financial habits, go on to do things like buy a home and argue that that might bring the person

rather than saying you should have you thought of. Cause it can be a little bit. Can be a bit naggy, can't it? You don't wanna be that person. No. Did you know? It's a bit like on Sex and the City where Charlotte goes, set the date, set the date.

It's like so desperate to, we talked about it before about engagement and getting married. But is that like, you know, you, she can go off and do this and she doesn't need him. So she doesn't have to force him either. Like she is complete, autonomy to go.

The fact that you've even suggested, this is my option. You thought about it. Yeah. You thought about buying on your own. You know it. You know the answer. You know the answer.

She's gonna buy, she thinks she'll buy on her own. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'm moving to London. Like that's another whole element thrown in. Freelancer. If you think you spend now, you're gonna spend when it gets to London.

London. London. Every time. Okay, that's all for this episode. The vault is now closed. And just a quick disclaimer, the vault is just a chat or online for many topics. We are not giving financial advice.