The Vergecast - I Have 23 Children

Episode Date: October 30, 2014

The hype meter is off the charts this week. The sweat is real. This Vergecast is beef, not bust. Our hosts Nilay Patel, Chris Plante, and The Verge's social beast Sam Sheffer begin the hour with a reflection on various motorized death machines and enormous phones. Then David Pierce steps in to discuss super heroes, Apple Pay vs. CurrentC, Microsoft's fitness band, and Chris's alarming misunderstanding of contraception. Join us, won't you? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, we're live on the Vergecast, which I, as a man, have still completely not learned how to begin. And I refuse to try. And that really characterizes our show, a lack of effort, refusal to try very hard. For people who can't see the video, you literally struggled to remove your fingers from the keyboard. You realize that you need to stop and your body revolted on you. No. There's so many tweets to send out in the world. Hello, this is The Verge cast where we talk about The Verge, which is cool. It's at Theverge.com.

But we talk about it with people who work at The Verge. I'm one of those people. I'm Nealai Patel. I'm Chris Plant. And I'm Sam Sheffer. And I'm very worried about the opening segment of our show. So Sam, Sheffer, is our social media man, our Snapchat about town, a notable hype beast. He's he's he's whatever Sam has been wanting me on the verge cast for a long time

And it's true and uh and here I am I made it to be honest I've been drinking And so we're letting that happen um which is fine you apparently have ice in your beer Yeah this is this is a drink I like it's my favorite drink it's one I make regularly It's called whiskey in a cup okay cool yeah it's uh it's hard to make you're so refined Yeah what you do is you get a cup sure then you put the whiskey Oh, okay. Yeah, it's really good. I haven't had a sip yet, but as soon as Sam starts talking, I'm convinced. So Sam, tell me about some stuff, man. How you doing? Doing great. I've been writing some electric stuff around town. Yeah, so. Oh, yes. Yeah, I've been writing some electric stuff around town.

I've been writing some stories, which is a lot of fun. And Snapchating a lot. And people like Snapchat and people look at Snapchat all day. It's kind of crazy. I put something up and there's lots of views on the snaps quickly. It's crazy. There's a series where in episode six of our Snapchat series called beef or bust. It is essentially thumbs up or thumbs down with anything and everything in the universe. I think it's the best series on the verge. Thank you. I agree. I'm actually, I do agree. But not even a joke. It's a very simple idea and easily digestible, 10 seconds and you're done. And that's it. That's how I want everything in my life. Ten seconds are bald.

Yeah, that's it. My entertained, yes. Beef. Keep going. I think the verge, fundamentally, at its core, is simple ideas, roasted to perfection. That makes... Roasted to perfection. No, no, no, it's like, we're not going to a...

Broasted? No, no. Roasted. Do you know what roasting is? Are you aware of what broasting is? I went to college and I've never heard broasting before. Okay. It's not it.

Broasting is, there's like a chain, like a chicken chain in Wisconsin. where they this is true and it's like high pressure deep frying and they call this is true it's not like bros roasting bros yeah that sounds like like you don't expect it and somebody hands you a rotissory chicken oh i got broasted you have to eat it on like five minutes oh man i'm googling yeah but that's what it should be and i'm actually pretty confident that's broasted oh my god broasted it was infected by l a m feline in the early in the early so okay i'm stopping broasted broasted broasted i'll eat the chicken but we do have a content series is true yes uh it which we literally describe is sam rides things right yes yes the last one was a motorized unicycle that one

by the way today we you know we we we were hiring all these new people so a new coordinator was like a fourth day today and at one point she was sitting next me she was like working hard and she was like, well, they've got out the robot, or the robot is out. Our robot was like floating around. The motorized unicycle is also in play. And then there was like a, Sam was on a motorized skateboard. There are now two of them in the office. And everyone was just like standing in circles, like Instagramming each other. And then there was just like calamity. Yep. Like everything crashed into each other. The robot crashed. And it was. I did not know that it's our new coordinator. I thought that was just a new writer. And I didn't realize it's essentially the person who has to make sure we don't kill ourselves. She's scared. She's not.

be that. Oh, no. She's very talented and very nice, and we're going to kill her. That's what's going to happen. But no, she's, I mean, she was just like, well, that's happening. And at one point, she's like, well, the robots involved now. And she's like, there is a unicycle behind me. I guess I'm just up the first. So Sam, what is the most interesting thing that you have ridden on?

Ooh. The unicycle is super weird and, like, cool, I guess. It's like I wrote it home a few times and I took it to Central Park. And so there's two types of people that see me on this thing. There's either you don't see me at all or you see me and your head does a complete 180 degree turn because you are so dumbfounded because there are no pedals on this thing. And I just sort of rocking back and forth. It's cool. I wrote it in Central Park for the video.

I got stopped probably like five or six times. A group of kids like swarmed me and they were like, can I ride it? Can I ride it? It's cool. I busted. I busted. Did you let him ride it? I let one girl sit on it and then 15 kids were like, I'm going second, I'm going third. I'm like, guys, I got to go film.

Sorry, and I took it away. Guys, I screwed away. And I got back out my unicycle, dropped the mic and took up. And they ran after you because you weren't going fast enough. Yeah, it doesn't have any brake lights or anything. So riding it in the bike lane at night is pretty dangerous, which I've done. And I made it home alive. And it's cool.

It's fun. And then I rode this, uh, that one. one wheel thing back at CES last year. It's got just one goat cart tire in the middle, and it's like a weird balancing thing. It was the board of awesome. The board of awesomeness was that crazy thing. The first Verge, CES actually, it had a Windows tablet controlled by a connect, and your hand was a virtual gas pedal. It was nuts. I haven't written anything that cool. Have you hurt yourself on any of these yet? Yeah, the unicycle. I definitely busted ass twice hard, and my wrist still hurts from it. Have you seen the new razor scooters that they're like drift?

Oh my God. You like sit on them and like all the kids like are like riding in like Tokyo drifting. Oh, with the wheel that like swivel is kind of thing. Wait, wait. It's not called Tokyo drifted. Yeah, no, that's the only thing that you can do. You either like. You could either ride it or Tokyo drift.

You snap your e-break and then you Tokyo drift. Snap. I don't know if that's racist. No, of course it's not. I've seen all the movies. I know what isn't isn't racist. I've seen all of the fast and furious movies. Guys.

I'm deeply aware of where racism exists in society, and it's not in drifting. I've only seen the first fast and furious movie. That's insulting. You're done. Literally that's when you lose. So Sam, tell me some other, you know, we should have a segment. We should sell a segment called like the hype check. No, no, no.

I think I know the perfect segment for you. Hashtag teens. What's up with teens? But Sam's not a teen anymore. Yeah, but Sam knows everything about hashtag team. I'm riding the teen wave with the Snapchat usage. I don't know, my hat and shoes match today. That's pretty good.

Come on. Wow. Hype check. We're hype checking right now. Yeah, that's it. We need a sponsor for hype check. It's got to be like a really like not cool brand. But now it's time for hype check.

Brought to you by Clorox. It's like it's a middle of the road. It's like a brand that's like it's cool. But I'm sweet or it's cool. Like bonobos. No, Starburst would like almost make sense. Yeah, I think it would. Clorox is great.

It's like, hype check with Sam Schaeffer. This much is we're sponsored by Clorox. Clean your toilets. Be happy and it's done. Do you clean your toilets? Are you not? Mama's got the magic of chlorox bleach. Do you remember those commercial?

You do know what they use it to wash your clothes. Clorox. Oh, that chlorox, yes. So Clorox shouldn't sponsor this. Wait, let me ask you a question. And this is not true for me either. Right? Like, I literally.

If you're super going to kick you out of your building. Because you put holes in all of the. I've never gotten to the point in my life where I've understood how to purchase cleaning products, right? So I lived in my parents' home. This is true. I lived in my parents' home. And then I lived a life of immense bachelor filth for many years. And then I was lucky enough to have a girlfriend who was like, okay, I can deal with this.

And then I was lucky enough to have that girlfriend movement. And then she married me. And like along the way, like, she's like, literally our closet is organized for me to be stupid enough to know, like, this bottle cleans the kitchen. But like it never occurred... This bottle. Yeah. Like, this is the one I use. You're a human pig.

Yeah. I'm inherently filtered. You've been released into a open space and then people clean up after you. Right. But I'm saying Sam is clearly not at the point. He's like, oh, Clorox. That's what you poured out of the toilet. I mean, that's better than, hey, it's the clean bottle.

Somebody put down my newspaper so I'm not wearing a shit. Well, no, just say it's... Windex for everything. I suffer, and I'm sure many of the listeners of... of our show understand this. I suffer from insane consumer paralysis at all times. And that you buy everything? Yeah.

Well, I do buy. Chris caught me like holding the Nexus 6th. While holding your iPhone 6 plus and you're like, I can't wait to buy this baby. It's like you have a phone that's a month old. Yeah, but it's not quite big enough. Yeah. You have the big one, Sam. It's humongous.

The only reason I have the iPhone 6 plus is because the battery is very good comparably I've had iPhone 3G, 3GS 4S 5-5S. Sure. They all are, we're never great at battery life. The first day you got it, it was like, yeah, this thing's awesome, the battery. And then it's like, you go out to a bar at like 8 o'clock and you've got like 40% left and 9 o'clock. It's like 20% left. You're like, what am I going to do?

Are you the saddest person at the bar? Wait, what am I going to do? I mean, drink more, Sam? If you're going out at like 9 or 10 and you're not at like with the old iPhones and you weren't out, You weren't at like 50 or 60% and you're out at 10 o'clock You're done for the night. You're not making,

you're not texting your friends at 2 in the morning where's the after party. It's fact. But now with the 6 plus, I can, hype check. Sponsored Michael Rocks.

I can go out, for real. I can charge this thing and go an entire day and then wake up the next morning and still have like 20 or 30% and it's great. It's super great.

And all of your friends are like, why were you texting us at 2 a.m.? There's no after party. My phone's big. No, the 6 plus is great. It's just, it's so big. I can't even reach the A key.

Like if I'm holding it in my palm, I can't reach the A key. It's like, if I'm saying like, I'm at this place, it's like I'm ST and it's just like start suggesting things. And then like. That sound you just heard was Sam dropping his phone in disgust. Yeah. Because he finds typing on it slightly frustrating. And then the best part is, screw this magic.

The best part is when I hold the six every time I hold the six. And I'm like, this is so perfect. Why did I do this to myself? But this is the reason I'm on 18 and say. Yeah. What size is it? 64, 128? 64.

Ah, man. I just, it's good. 64 is good. I'm still waiting for my 128. You still haven't got that one. That's going to take for a thousand years. Connecticut, New York, and New Jersey are out of iPhones completely. It's kind of insane.

There's just no iPhones to get. I bought the big one also because I'm going to get used to a huge phone. So then one next year I'm going to get the regular sized one and it's going to be dandy. Dandy? It's my plan. I plan these things. You're literally doing like in baseball when they put the weight on. on the bat so it's easier to swing later on.

Just that. You're doing that with a cell phone. Yeah. Wow. Hype check. Hype check. I'm telling you, man. We've checked it.

I'm not saying we've done a terrific job of ever attracting advertisers to the Vergecast. I'm not saying any major corporate sponsors have ever wanted to be near what happens in this space. If Clorox starts making toilet boat cleaner, you're welcome. A, one, I'm sure they already do. Not a fact that I know, but just one I suspect. As someone who literally calls all cleaning fluids cleaning bottle. I like to think that I'm an expert. Hey, where's the cleaning bottle?

Oh, it's right over there next to the other cleaning bottle. Here's what I know. Here's the thing I know. Suspicion of facts are almost as good as facts. And I suspect that clocks. Wow. That's a true journalist right there. Speaking of journalism.

God. Yeah. What? See that segue? He's trying to segue into some... Into some actual topics. If you want to talk about topics. I do.

I do. Fine. All right. No, Chris, you have notes, right? Here we go. Here are my notes. Okay. Where do they go?

I'm running. You have tangible notes. These are like my opinions. There it is. What compels you to print out notes? Like that's not something that many people do anymore. Printing sucks. I ruined the paper on the first try.

Why do people, how is it still a thing? iPhones. You're the only one who does it. Yeah. Everyone just uses iPhones. Literally, there's like, like, there's a sound of like steam pistons going in like one of our rooms. And it's like, It's like, oh, plants printing something.

We let plant use the computer again. I walked in in one of our coworkers was like, are you trying to fax something? It's like, no. I don't even know what we, anyway. I think the salespeople, they do print something. Sales people love printing. I don't know what they do.

They seem like they have a lot of fun, though. Yeah. I was doing stuff. What? All right. Let's, I want to talk, you know what I want you to talk about with me? Mm-hmm. I want you to talk about Marvel comics and movies.

I want you to tell me all about what you think about Avengers and what's happening there. So comic books and comic book culture is becoming so mainstream. It's insane. I grew up as what I would consider a nerd. And like, you know, I saw like Batman in theaters and the dark night. And I saw, you know, I watched the older Batman films too, believe it or not. Oh my God.

And now all of a sudden. This is the part of the show where Sam makes me feel like an ancient, ancient, like statue of a person. So yeah, there's a ton of Marvel movies coming out. And obviously there's just going to be a lot of money made from these films. But it's cool to see that the, quote, geeks and nerds are getting their fulfillment. And whether or not they like those movies is a completely different thing. But I've seen The Avengers. I've seen Iron Man.

Robert Downey Jr. is awesome. And it's, I think it's just, it's cool that they're doing this. And they've got a super. Are you like into these movies? Like hype check? Definitely not like I don't sweat them that much. Um, Hy-check.

That's a hype word. Um, I won't, I won't go see them opening day, but, um, I will watch them on Netflix. So what,

what is, I will watch them on Netflix. That is the darkest burn for like the movie industry. I pay for Netflix. Like it's not even like, I pay for Netflix. Also, Marvel and Disney will have their own Netflix.

No, that's my suspicion. Like, saying about a, like, a blockbuster movie, I'll wait for it to hit Netflix. Netflix is basically like, you're so unimportant.

I will wait five years for you to like suck the residual revenue. The darkest burn is like, I'll watch it on TBS. With commercials, with all the stuff taken out. It's good enough. I will say, though, not to get too sidetracked, but movies are so expensive to go see. I cannot justify spending $14 or $15 to go see a movie anymore. It's insane. I saw her in theaters and I saw Gravity in theaters.

And those are the only two films I've seen in the two years. But Gravity is like one that you have to go see in theaters. Yes. Yeah. Because it's like the experience. Yeah, I did the sad thing where I waited. I waited. And then I was like, I'm going to watch it.

I bought a TV. I bought a new TV. I'm like, I'm never going to do anything else in 3D on the television. But I should try this movie. Was it the curved Samsung television? No, it was just my Panasonic plasma. 3D. Yeah, it has a 3D mode that I'm never going to use for any other reason.

And you can't stream it in 3D in anything. It's true. Like, even on Voodoo, like the weirdest of the movie services that has, 3D you can't get it. So I was like screw it and I did, I'm going to admit a crime. You, uh, you bought it. I bought it online. I bought the 3D DVD or the Blu-ray and I was like waiting for, but then because I

was impatient, I pirated that like hard. And then I ended up. Only one way to do it. Well, I did. I ended up anyway. And then I ended up with like my laptop plugged into a TV displaying some like crazy stuff on the laptop screen that the TV then interpreted in a 3D and like, Five hours later, I was like, yeah, let's watch this movie in 3D.

And all of my friends are like, nope, it's too late. We watched you nerd out for like three hours and now we're done and we're not watching it. So I sat alone in my house. And you watched it. And it was like, why did I do all this work? This is just a movie about floating. Yep. Just endless floating.

Was it in 3D? You got the 3D to work. It did. Because, I mean, I'm the king of the nerds. And I was not, I would not rest until it was three in the morning and the 3D work. But it was not worth it. No. I would have gone.

I know it's a sad. I didn't say it was a happy story. I didn't say you'd feel triumphant at the end of the story about my TV and a Blu-ray player and pirating movies. Great if I did. Well, and then, and then I was happy at the end. Oh, okay, cool. Great.

So back to Marvel. Oh, my God. Just, I remember specifically when the Dark Night Rises came out. And also the original Dark Night, like, every one of my friends saw it in the theater. It was like, I went into the movie theater at midnight. And it was like, I know you, I know you, I know you. So I think, I mean, they have movies like what, twice or three times a year for the next four or five years now. And those are going to be like events and like big momentous events.

And it's going to be pretty cool to see like awesome comic superheroes get the treatment they deserve. Oh my God. So you're saying that this isn't your thing. So what's your media obsession right now is a hype beast? I mean, I like Supreme Clothing a lot. I buy Supreme Clothes. It's not media. You can't, like,

it's not media. Do you, like, open your closet and watch your clothes? I love the action. I walk into my room and I'm like, man, I got some nice pieces hanging up. I do. It's true. It's true. Like that flower shirt I got the other day, it's a, it's a cool shirt.

It is a cool shirt. I like this. No one's going to argue that your style is whack. All right. No flax. Wait, what's your question? Or do you want to kick me off? I don't want to kick you.

I want to, I don't. I'm just going to keep going for a minute here. Keep this hype train. chugging along. What? That's like a mixture of like 2014 and like 1850s slang. Like, okay. No, so let's real quick.

I want, I want your gut reaction to the Nexus stuff in Lollipop. And this is how I'm going to transition. I put the drink down to talk about the Nexus. I just, I don't know why phones are so huge. Just why? Why are phones so huge now?

Like Vlad wrote this thing and I completely, yes, I have a 6 plus because the best. He thinks it's a mistake. He lives a life of regret. I know it's a mistake. Again, the only reason I have this is because video or video, battery, geez. The Nexus 6, why can't it just be like four and a half inches? Android L?

Because I know we call the Nexus 4.5. Also, their naming scheme, what are they doing next year? They're done. I don't understand the numbers. Me neither. Wait, isn't there like, they have Nexus 4, Nexus 5, Nexus 6, there's a 9, and Nexus 10. But Nexus 6 is the newest phone. Nexus 9 is the newest tablet.

but they've already done a Nexus 10 tablet. And a Nexus 7 tablet, which is a little bit bigger. So next year it's just going to be one Nexus 8 and it's going to be like the Dell streak all over again. Do you remember that thing? No, no. No, that'll never happen. Lollipop is great. It's fast.

Android has finally caught up to where it's like, I mean, you can argue that it's been like this for a year or two, but it's caught up to iOS in the sense that it's like there's no noticeable lag. like the finger drag test, it doesn't lag that much anymore, Android. Apps are basically all of the way there. And just the Gmail integration and the calendar integration, I never forget. I spent $750 on an unlocked Nexus, Galaxy Nexus back in the day, and I switched fully to Android for six or seven months. And that experience, because I'm so tied to Gmail with work, is unbeatable compared to the iPhone. The only problem is that Google apps for any company that it's bigger than five is a disaster. Yeah.

Like personal Gmail stuff is cool. Yeah. I would say our company's experience Google apps during this time of transition. Yeah. I have six email clients up in any given time. Yeah. I mean, like, I use browsers. Let me offer the people window.

Tell them. Tell them the story. Window into Vox Media right now. Go on. And I say this. I'm going to Snapchat while you do this. I say this in the hope that there are Google employees listening. And at the end of this story, instead of feeling sad or triumph, what they will feel a shame.

Oh, okay. So let me just, that's the preface. Got it. You want to shame people. I want you to feel bad about what I'm saying. We started our company, which is called Vox Media. We started by launching the verge. Before that, there was another company called SB Nation, right?

That's our other site. So we had one Google App's domain for SB Nation, and we started another Google App's domain for the Verge. and we started a company called Vox Media. Then we started Polygon. Yes. Then we bought a company, our company bought the Curb Network, Iter React and Curb,

which had three of their own Google Apps domains. Then we started Vox.com. It is impossible to make those things all work together without ruining everyone's lives for eight months. Right? Yeah. That's as near as I can tell that's the fact. You know it's an even better idea?

What? To switch companies while it's all happening. Oh yeah, switch verticals. Right. And then for your email, disappearing. The best, no, the best was the... Just the simplest thing that you would want to do, which is have Vox Media be the parent

of all the other domains and then have all work together? Yeah. No, not allowed. You must delete everything and start over. I mean, in our company right now, like, you just say the words, you whisper the words, email migration. And people just start crying. They're like fall to the ground, they flop around.

No, I remember the calendar. There was like 15 of the same calendar entries for... Do you remember this when all the... a sudden everyone had like a copy, just like 45 copies of the same calendar invite. Yeah. It was a mess. But Chris and I had the same problem, which is I left the verge for a minute and went to Vox.com and Chris went from Polygon to the verge. And none of those email addresses are remotely connected to each other. And so all of our calendars are crazy. And it's all because Google built this thing to run Google.com and nothing else. And they don't care about anyone else.

And if you talk to anyone who runs a Microsoft enterprise system, they're like, oh, that would be really easy. I don't understand. And there's millions of vendors in the city who can just like show up and they're like the vendor with the lowest bid. Right. And they'll fix it. And they're like, oh, we're just like IT professionals. We did this because Microsoft actually built the system to do this.

And Google's like, we don't care. Well, Google will often tell you when you complain about having multiple Google accounts is they'll say, oh, we have the same problem because, you know, I have my work Google account and my personal Google account. It's super annoying, right? And it's like, don't you work there? Like, don't you want to solve?

You solve your own problem, and the answers they don't. So where are we at now with these emails? What's the... The answer, look, just type my name into Google and just hope something good happens. Nothing good will happen. All right, let's switch you out, Sammy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to end on this note.

It's fine. Do you want to say anything else? I'll see you next week, maybe. Yeah, but we're going to, Sam's going to be a fixture on the show. Hype check. Hype check. Sponsored by Clorox toilet stuff. I got my Snapchat in.

I'm good. Thank you for having me. Plant. We love you, Sam. Eli, you're awesome. I love you, too. We'll have you. David Pierce is coming in, everybody. So, Chris. Do you want me to read you my Marvel notes?

Yeah, I do want to read. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. These aren't. But you actually know what's going on with Marvel. No. Actually, I don't want to know anything about your Marvel notes.

I haven't even seen. Didn't you write the Marvel post? Yeah. I've read a lot of things on our site. Oh, my God. This is a mistake. Okay. You gave, you sent the Google Doc to me 30 minutes ahead of this.

Yeah. Just so everyone knows. That's what I expect. This is what I wrote down as fast as I could. Mom wouldn't let me read comics because the trading cards were so naked, which is true. I don't know if that's so I tried to get into comics, but if you've ever bought Marvel trading cards in the 90s, because I couldn't afford the comics, so I just got the trading cards. Then you piece them together and make your own comic. They don't make any sense because you don't know who's good or bad.

But two, all the women are like naked, like naked. They were. So then I wrote chains on the girls, not for a little. boys because I was a little boy and I remembered a glowing card with jinx or gemlet and I think Jimlet is jinks wait she had like glowing pink cards yeah and I remember that and then I want to know why that character doesn't have a movie um everyone else is getting a movie right so over the next five years are making like a thousand new movies yeah and making is the perfect word because it's not like no one's directing it, no one's creating it.

They're just like, they're just going to be there. They have an Excel spreadsheet and they're like, this goes here and this goes here, and the movie is going to show up. No, but here's the bigger question I have about all these movies. And like now, there's agents of shield, the TV show. They're like designing a universe, right?

The Marvel Cinematic Universe. And at some point, like, the pressure of all of the interlocking stories of that universe will like basically be... Do it comic books? did already as comic books and totally put everyone off. It's just like, there will have to be one final movie where no creative decision making is allowed.

Right? Because every single thing has already decided. They already showed the character design for a movie that doesn't have a director. It's like, here's what that superhero looks like. That's what it is. And we know everybody wants to direct our movies because crazy, crazy money. Well, they're going to hand somebody like $5 million and be like, you babysit a bunch of really vain, annoying actors for, like,

Three months, some, in some remote location. I would love to know all the drama around to Ant Man, because that whole project falling apart creatively and then just becoming like, Marvel's going to get it done. I mean, I don't even know who's directing it now, but it was the guy that did Sean in the Dead. And that's basically what it felt like because it's like, well, that fell apart. And they're like, nope, we're still going to start it right now. Yeah. Paul Rudd, you're going to be able to go see three games of the World Series while we figure out what the hell is going on. But it really seems like they're the only people who can get people to go to a movie theater.

Although I will say I went and saw Gone Girl and like three weeks after it's been three weeks now, right? In that movie at least yeah and Saturday when I went to go see it the theater was full Really? Yeah because they started remarketing it first like the first wave of Gone Girl marketing was like it's a thriller what happened right and now everybody like every spoiler alert everything happened like everybody knows what happened And now they're marketing this big marketing push this is the ultimate date movie and it's like this is like a movie about wasn't the immediate reaction to the movie that like holy god don't ever go on a date because you'll probably break up before one of you does something horrible to the other yeah um there's no way to talk about this movie that incredible spoiler it's all right i haven't answered everybody dies she's gone

he's spoiled it damn it i know everything now i have an answer to your marvel question yeah i have a crackpot theory and my movie writer friends will hate that i said this i like it but i think a lot of the people who are now writing for like movie websites movie blogs movie reviews at of like maybe like big five newspaper places are people who read comics as kids. I mean, if you talk to them, like, there's so many mainstream reviews that are like, I love this as a kid. And it's, it is, these are giant movies made for a very specific audience that also happens to be most movie critics.

And I don't think that's the only thing. I think they're also pretty well made action movies. But I think like the fact that the people who are. Yeah, no, I hear you. Well, but it's also... Basically, running the show on Rotten Tomatoes are primed to like your movie is pretty beneficial to. But it's also like everybody who writes for like the AV club, right? It's like they're 29.

Yeah, they're the sweet spot. They're also, those are the consumers who go to movies. Like, those are the people who go to movies now. Right. Those are the people who spend the most money on movies. I also think... Are 29-year-olds who love comic books growing up. People also want things to take their kids to and like, or, or,

like anyone to basically. Yeah, but Pixar like locked that up a million years ago. Oh, sure. They're like, oh, you want to make a cute movie? Sorry, you can't. This is our thing. Yeah. But I think it is like one of the few like family things, even though the movies are extremely

violent. It's one of the few things that like everybody can go to. It's cute violence. Yeah, but I mean, my mom always jokes. She's like, you need a, if you want to be a real, real successful writer, you just need to write movies like that women like to see or the kids like to see. And she's like joking, but she's, dead on because like any time a movie comes out for anyone that isn't just like

yeah a generic white dude they do great because people are like finally anything at all even superheroes which are made for generic white dudes like finally something i can take a family to and not just be totally bored by marvell's trying to like change it all up right they are now right this whole new wave is like diversity yeah yeah yeah yeah oh man and then and then poor dc just has Batman versus Superman They're trying to milk Superman I completely forgot about that movie For like six months

You know why Because it's also coming out Still in like 13 years I mean it's just like Just let go of Superman DC Like Marvel let go of the X-Men Sorry we just like gave it away to Fox And it like flew away and we'll never see it again

And then Fox made all the money Right and like they gave away Spider-Man And Sony is like we don't have any idea what we're doing But like we basically made a Spider-Man video game And that'll be the action sequences of this movie See, there's something about these movies. They don't have to be good. Like, that last X-Men movie is mind-blowingly bad.

And people are like, well, it tried. And, like, how creative. Different time zones. People are so... Part of the movie takes place in New York. But part of the movie takes place in Los Angeles. What? Not Mountain Zone.

Nothing's Mountain Zone. Mountain Zone. That's not what it's time. Yeah, Mountain Zone. There is Pacific, Mountain Central. No, but it's not Pacific Zone. Pacific Zone.

It's like the Emerald Zone. You find Sonic in one and he runs to the other one. These all sound like Sufian Sea and the mountains. All right. We have to talk about some other news. There's many, there's lots of other news to talk about. Sorry, is that a song?

I don't want to. I've been singing, Take Me to Higher Love all day. Yeah. Can't make too high love. Legitimately ruined like two or three. meetings have been in with Steve Winwood. Steve Winwood had never ruined a meeting.

That's awesome. It's accurate. Guys, can we talk about currency? You see how I did that? Now I'm the host. Do it. I'm the host. Read your notes, Chris.

Current C. Oh, no, we shouldn't because this is like the one that I really didn't understand. No, this is good. Let's start with your notes. What do they say? Here is where I thought currency was before I read about it. Sounds like a and utility is startup. You've heard of AC.

You've heard of D.C. but are you ready for currency? Oh, it's money, like currency. And then I thought, but I thought that. Can I just say one thing? I feel like you don't know what notes are. Is that possible? No, I'm right to myself.

It's like, this is, what am I thinking? Don't forget this. Like, dear Chris. Now you know how every feature starts. Dear Chris, this guy has real things to say. I mean, oh, it's money. It's money. Let me just walk through the thought process there.

You were like reading about it and you thought, oh, it's money. And then you turn to your notes. Like you changed the window. No, no, no. You saw how I typed. It freaks chat out because when people come to talk to me, I don't like to stop typing. So I just keep typing. Okay.

So then I looked at what it was, but I didn't feel bad because I was like, I'm bad tech writer. Yeah. I can't even say what in his face. Nobody had heard of it last week. and now nobody has heard of it but a bunch of nerds. Yeah, that's fair. Is that like right?

That's fair. Who are mad about it. It's the ultraviolet of currency apps. Wow. It's dumb. That's a good nerd burn. Yeah. You have to like understand ultraviolet

and that it sucks. See? Yeah, that's a good one. Um, all, no, Walmart sucks. And so does the Marlins dude. Did you know the Marlins dude? I don't know if this is true. So slander alert.

Game or gay. I've heard that. You know the Marlins guy who's behind the plate at the World Series games? So there was a story done by someone who used to work for Vox Media. And it was like, oh, this interesting kind of puff piece around the dude. I heard he's the like the workers' rights lawyer for Walmart. So not for the employees, but like for Walmart. So he's paid.

That's why he's behind this. He's mad paid. I can't support that guy. he's like wearing a marlins little costume to games that don't have the marlins in it and he like works at marlmart makes all the money he's just he's on an ego trip and you're saying he's behind and he's behind currency i wouldn't be surprised i don't like him and i don't know if i like this it doesn't seem like i do i have a suspicion of a fact yeah but now can we here's the thing about okay can we just go through currency now that we've sure oh it's money is a good place to

start that's fair and big companies use it instead of apple pay. There you go. That's actually the key fact here. So Apple rolled out Apple pay, which is not useful as far as I can tell. I used it the ones right there. There's like the explosion. I keep forgetting that it exists. Like I'm so ingrained of like I walk in somewhere and I take up my credit card and I hand it to them. Well, there's so many places you can't use it that are normal. Like I was at a bar and I was like, am I going to, here's my credit card. Here's my phone. Don't take my phone. No, but like I was even at there's a Dwayne Reed right near office and I went there and I got halfway into the transaction, she was, like, swiping my credit card. And I was like, no.

Let me use my, and then it was too late. But it's good. So it's the only one that works. I've never used the other NFC stuff. So it works since there. It does work. It's fine. Well, and Tim Cook said it's already the most popular. Because nothing else is popular. Right. It's like six people used it. So you win. Right. Apparently you can use it in cabs in New York City, which I haven't done yet. I've seen that done.

Ooh. Yeah. It's pretty exciting. Not by you? Were you like, can sign you pull up and you're like, hype check with David Pierce. I was near it. It may or may not have been Taylor Swift. It was Taylor Swift. You know, I read a long article today, arguing that Taylor Swift is a member of Fortune. Anyway, from like a year ago.

Anyway, it was crazy. It was a crazy, anyway. So, anyway, so Apple pays out, but there's a group of retailers has turned off the NFC and all their terminals. It's like Walmart, CVS, some other places. Bullies. Right-Aid was one. Right-Aid.

And because they have backed a rival payment system. called currency. Right. And so what happened... It should be a power startup. Yes. Without question. Like they weren't explicitly supporting it, but it worked.

Right. Like the tech worked anyway, and they went back and shut it off. Right. Which is the problem. Like, it's one thing if they're like, oh, we're not a partner or whatever. But like, it worked and then they turned it off. Right. So, but here's the real problem with this.

And it is, I think, the reason... There only one real problem? No, there's only one. And I believe that it boils down to a single essential fact, which is they have a rival system. Blue rays. It's BlueRs. They have a rival system, which is fine, but their rival system is built on QR codes.

Right? You have to download their stupid currency app, and then, like, it will, like, display a QR code, and you, like, show it to a camera, and then it pays. That's their system. That's their version of this. Wasn't this just, like, the thing you do at Starbucks, like, writ large? I'm just saying, I believe that any,

anything, any system that at its heart involves a QR code, makes people angry. Wasn't it last week that I said this about Facebook rooms and everyone was like, no, Facebook rooms is going to have organic growth based on social media sharing.

And then... Why are you talking to like the large rooster from iTunes? That was my Ellis voice. Why is Ellis Southern? Don't ask. Michigan is the New South. Everybody knows that.

That's the other Sufian album. That's terrible. But if you, use QR codes, you blew it. You blew it. So on top of the QR codes, it cuts out your credit card and it goes straight to your bank account. It's basically a debit card and a QR code

on your phone. But because Apple fans want to use Apple Pay, and their system is so much superior, this is like a war that is brewing. Can I ask you a question about all of this stuff? Yeah. So like Apple, right? Big security breach. Big deal.

People are really freaked. Then like a week passes, maybe months. or whatever. And they're like, hey, you know what? Trust us just with your credit cards. Like, all of them. And, like, we have a device that you can just rub up again something and it'll take money from it. Right? Like, why? I don't think I saw a single article that was like, this feels a little weird. Well, I think the thing is, is, like, everyone tacitly understands that, like, there's actually

nothing on earth that is less secure than your credit card number. So it's like, it would take you just one second to find my credit card number. Like, it's not hard. Sure. But like what seems even easier than like getting a number on something that's in my wallet is like rubbing up against my phone. No. I mean, it can't. Because you go to places all the time where you hand people your credit card with all of them. And they can put it through the thing and they can take this the secret stealing thing.

Or like any bartender in any bar can just like take a picture of your credit card. Wow. Yeah. You know when you're a restaurant, you hand the waitress your credit card or the waiter your credit card? No, usually just falls into the back. I'll be coming with you. That's what they do. Why is our culture not like Europeans where they bring you like the thing to your thing and you swipe it?

They like leave. Like, cool. Let me cover myself up and like swipe this privately. Let me take my payment blanket out. No one can know. Yeah. No one can know. I mean, it's moderately more secure.

It's not that it's great. It's just better. It's not worse. I mean, at this point, we should just accept that everything in our life is going to be hacked at one point or another. Absolutely. You read a story. Americans fear being hacked more than being murdered, which is probably accurate because you are more likely to be hacked than murdered.

No, I really think this is true. Like, you just, you have to assume that at some point you are going to be hacked. Also, I don't say this. I don't know what that means. I don't know how to respond to that. Right. So that's the hack versus murder. Because if you're like a, if you're, I think, a normal person, and I'm just going to go with it.

Go on. You in your mind, uh, construct elaborate plans to deal with the threat of murder. Tell me your elaborate plan. Like, if someone that was to come in this room right now, like, I would duck behind the video wall and I would like fashion. Like, like, Jason Bourne? Like, when I sit down, I make sure there are at least four windows. You've never done this? You've never been like, you've never woken up and had like the fuck, is there someone in my house fear?

And then like, what am I to do? And then like, I know where the knife. This never happened. Oh, no, that I've got down. Right. But the, like, the fact that you just immediately went video wall is, like, you sat down and, like, cased the joint. Yeah, that's what I do. I'm constantly on a...

Safety casing. I'm always... Right. I don't want to steal anything. I just want to know I'm going to lose. Right. Yeah. That's what you do.

In any new room, you figure out where you would hide, and then you locate the nearest weapon. That's a thing that I do. I don't know. That's how weird for you. But you... John, our producer, is, like, not weird. That's what you do. Totally safe.

You locate weapons as you walk through the world. Fine, just a normal thing. We can't hang out anymore. Your life is a video game. And then you walk over them and you just pick them up. Yeah, it doesn't matter how much stuff you're carrying. It's super easy, everybody. But with the fear of being hacked, like, there's no way to be like, and then I would do this.

Or like, I would feel this threat and I would take these actions. It's more like, nope, that's, that bad thing is just going to happen to now. My wife was hacked while we were in Austin, and she was, like, very, very concerned. and she had to, it was on Apple, of all things, and they got, they bought an iPad with it, and it was right after the new iPads were announced. And at first I was terrified because of forever being terrified because of people threatening to hack me and my wife on a regular basis. Yeah, Camergate.

Yay! But quickly, I realized that, oh, I think, hopefully it was just somebody who was like, hey, people are ordering a lot of iPads right now. I'll hack some accounts, order iPads, push them to a, offshore shipping facility in California, send them away, and maybe you won't notice when the email gives you an alert because you already ordered an iPad that day too. It's like, I think it's the logic. That's actually a smart idea, right?

Like order hack people's accounts on the day when iPads are getting announced because everybody's buying them. And odds are that maybe you can sneak a few through. But she was worried about it. And she's like, I have to get a new credit card and all this stuff. Like, if this is like as bad as the hack is, this is great. But it's sad that that is now how I feel about hacking in credit cards where it's like, oh, you got my credit card?

Great, I can get a new credit card. Yeah. Like, my bank will help me with that. Right. I'm more worried about like anything else. Well, that's actually the thing about all this payment stuff. Like there is the sense like banks, like huge banks are bad, right, in some way. They cause the financial crisis.

Sure. Retailers are terrible at security. So I don't want to give them my checking card information. And it's like, so which of these evil things will I pick? and I'm pretty sure the answer is the banks. Well, yeah, because a credit card is a money condom. A credit card is the money condom. It's not directly immediately pulling the money out of your bank, right?

Do you know how that's... Wait, I have an idea. Let's not do what we're about to do. Okay. I'm just saying like... I mean... That's not how a condom works. That's all I want to say.

We're doing it. We're doing it now. It doesn't sheath your money. It doesn't, right? Think about it. Nope. You're still thinking of it. about it.

Now, I guess? I don't know. I never learned that lesson. I have 23 children. I'm sorry. But he never spends any money. I'm just trying to be safe. You know?

That shit isn't protected. Rippling debt. Because I've never actually paid my credit card. It was a money condom. I thought we were all okay. I thought I would just keep accumulating debt. Mine flat screen TV. by 23 children.

How else would I pay for 23 children? It all makes sense. Never has a metaphor gone so poorly on the show. That's definitely not true. Fair. All right, let's abruptly change the subject. Okay. Samsung.

No, we should talk about some news. Okay. David, he did some Microsoft stuff. News. Yeah. You did actually a bunch of Microsoft stuff. I did. So Microsoft is doing health things.

It's called Microsoft Health. I think it's super fun. that Microsoft went from like weird crazy arcane names yeah to just very straightforward like dictionary definitions of words they're like it's a band let's call it the band and they're like well we have this whole platform that's about health yeah and it's not planning I'm partnering with bob dillon anytime yeah he's like he gets up and he's like I have he's like the banner and he's got a you know he's got a curtain over and he's like guys ready for the name health Everybody just goes crazy.

So basically the idea is health is this huge backend platform. Microsoft's big thing is like machine learning and big data and cloud and mobile and this is the stuff they keep talking about. So they built this whole platform that is basically like the way to accumulate and ingest all of your fitness data from everywhere. So any device, any app, anything. It can all feed into Microsoft Health. And then its job is to process all this stuff and basically tell you how to live better.

So like it plugs into your calendar and it's like, hey, you shouldn't run this morning because you have a meeting and when you run before early meetings, you get tired later in the day. It's like crazy stuff that they think they can do. And like all the way down this road of like once they get the data to do this stuff, they're like, when you have coffee and then a heavy dinner, you don't sleep very well. But when you have coffee and a light dinner, you're fine. And like it's the things they're going to actually be able to do once they have this, all this data or so they claim is just crazy and enormous.

and it's the most cross-platform thing that actually exists, which is like a huge deal for Microsoft. They have these really great apps for iOS and Android and Windows phone, which nothing else has. Right. And like it supports Androidware. It supports like the motion processor. Because it's just dumping data.

Like it plugs in at the system level. All of Apple's API stuff is open. It's all open on Apple devices and Microsoft makes an app for Apple devices. Right. So it's just plugging into Apple Health and it's plugging into Google for. fit and then it's pulling all this data out. Wow. So like it just there's so much data available to Microsoft if they do this right and if they get people to use it. And the first thing they've been, the first thing they made is this, which is the band, which is kind of like weird and big and

blocky. I mean this is, yeah, this is, but it's all it's like it's a prototype. Like I wrote about it this afternoon and it's, it's, it feels like something they would have tested it with. And they're, they're super straightforward about it. It was really interesting talking to their team because they're like their whole thing was they're only making. a certain number of this, like they're artificially limiting it because they're like, this is not the last one. We want to rev really fast. And if we make 50 million of these, we have to sell them all before we make another one.

And it was like, that's a fair answer. And their whole thing is they want to get bigger and better really fast. That's the charger. It's awful. Wait, wait, that's the charger. So the thing that I just, I walked in today and everyone was talking about this, and all I kept hearing was Chris Sigel was like, it's not waterproof. It's, yeah.

Right? Like, that's weird. That's a weird thing for something you're supposed to sweat on. Well, so the other thing, which. This is an interesting clasp. Yeah, it's actually really neat. You can put it on and then change, like, you can tighten it if you're working out and don't want to flopping around and then loosen it without actually having to take it off, which is cool. But so the thing that Microsoft is doing that's super interesting is A, all the data is open.

So you can read and write to it from other apps. Yeah. And B, there are 10 sensor modules in that band, and all 10 are being licensed to other developers. Okay. So if I'm Jawbone or, like, Samsung making the Gear VR, like, I can take the, GPS chip, for instance, and put it in the headset and it just automatically starts writing data. And Microsoft says that's the most accurate one ever. Their whole big thing is, like, we are collecting better data and doing better things with it.

Interesting. I mean, I will say that, like, I know this is a prototype, but this definitely feels like I am wearing it now. It definitely feels like I'm in a really, really high-tech prison. Yeah. A bunch of people have said that. It's, like, it's like really tight and it's flat. Did you ever see the movie, The Island? Yeah.

Yeah, that's... You're Steve Bouchemy. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he is in that. Yep. Who's the... It's Ewan McGregor in Scarlett, Jhanson. And Steve Bushamie.

And Steve. I feel like it's a safe bet at any time to be like, oh, Steve Bushamie's in there. Oh, yeah, sure. That sounds about right. That movie was really good. Here, here's my question slash fear about this sort of thing. It's like when you're talking about this coming from the gaming world, I think of Connect, which has all the ambition in the world and the same, uh,

feel of it's going to be able to do this, this, this, and this. And what's actually happening behind it is not trickery is maybe the right word, and that they're kind of finding shortcuts. It's like, we're not really figuring out if you should run before your meeting. We're figuring out something kind of close to it. And then it's guessing. And I understand that's programming in general. But when I hear that sort of ambition, like your entire life is going to be controlled by this prison bracelet that you wear. It sounds like a little too good to be true. I mean, I hope that's true. I would love for something like that, but maybe it's just coming off that. That sounds a little insane. I mean, it's like they talked about the connect. Like some of the people working on health are the

same people who have worked and worked on and talked about Connect before. And it's like they talk about they're like, we're going to integrate it with all these other things. And it's like, I've heard you say this so many times. Yeah. When you could just hold him your skateboard and it was. scan it and then you're skating on your TV. It's like, yeah, I remember that. Never happened. That was a neat idea that you didn't do. And then, like, eventually they'll just be like,

actually, you can buy the band without the sensors or the software. But that's the lesson here, right? The problem with the Connect is it only works with their platform. And all of the development that one part of the Xbox one that would actually be useful for it is like the game side and games are only profitable if you make them cross-platform for both consoles or Microsoft pays you a ton of money. for an exclusive, which they just didn't do very well on the Xbox one, it seems. Right?

They did okay. This year, they have more this year than they did last year. I think it's okay. Right, but they, I wouldn't totally right on. But this year, they're like, no, there's no more connect requirement. Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. Like, they made it easy.

Like, they just, they did the thing where they didn't, they made the weird new peripheral and they didn't make it open. And I think you're right there, too, because the stuff people were making on Connect on the side, if it had been truly open from the get-go, it could be a very different scene. Yeah, I mean, I think that's what this is. This is them learning a lesson. Right, hopefully.

And this is what Sachinadella talks so much about. He's like, we want to be cloud and mobile. We want to be everywhere. We want to behind everything. We want to be on every platform. And this is that. Because that's the advantage. That is your advantage if you're going up against Apple.

Well, and for Microsoft, like, part of their pitch, if I'm, you know, if I'm a guy building a, you know, if I'm building a device, I don't have to build. a backend. I don't have to build a thing that collects and processes data. I can just dump it into Microsoft and let them handle that. Or if I'm building hardware, I can actually have new weird ideas about where to put the hardware and literally let Microsoft build all of the modules. Like they've done all the hard work and they're just giving it away to people. I feel like... Yeah, but so if you have an iPhone or you have an Android phone, so you buy the new piece of hardware and then you it says... This, you mean? You buy whatever. You buy something.

Sure. You buy headphones. as a partner. Sure, sure. So, like, whatever the next job on thing is. And they say, just download the Microsoft Health app on your Apple device. And it just dumps things into iOS 8 health. Mm-hmm.

So which one is? No, it doesn't dump things into iOS 8. I mean, I guess it might. I don't actually know how that works, to be honest. I got to forget that out. Because that's the weird part, right? Well, no. I mean, which one are you supposed to use?

What they're hoping for and betting on is that you're going to use Microsoft and not iOS 8 health. because iOS 8 Health is a, like, a horrible mess of, like, just not really existing as anything. Right. It's like a weird place you go to look at numbers. And Microsoft Health is like, we're going to do much more than that. We have plans and ideas and thoughts. And then on the flip side, they're, like, we're everywhere. Like, most people don't just own one company's stuff, right?

And, like, you don't necessarily own an iPhone for the next 10 years. But the value of something like Microsoft. Health is that it doesn't matter what device you own. And your data actually matters over, you know, next and months and years. So in Microsoft Health, it's pulling from everything else that plugs into iOS 8 Health and then you can just walk away with it. That's the idea, yeah. It feels like one of these really good ideas that at some point, like, misses a translation

layer and everything gets complicated. Yeah, I mean, this is what, like, this is the point where I stop trusting Microsoft is to, like, nail the constant execution. And I asked them this, I was like, how do you avoid the PC problem where most, Most people make really shitty stuff that doesn't do the job well and gives you, A, in this case, bad data, which is worse. Right. Because it's not you can. And that's like their solution is to, you know, license the sensors.

But it's like, well, people are still going to write to your software with crappy hardware. And this is like, this is their big problem, right? Is they're like, we can be wide open. And by being open, you open yourself up to everybody else's terrible ideas. But Apple has that same problem, right? I mean, their whole thing is like, look at the iPhone. It does all the stuff. Like everybody plug your weird sensors into it.

And you can get bad. crap talking to iosate hell then it becomes curation you know that's part of even going into the apple store versus going into i just think i mean i think it's like fascinating app like literally microsoft did this nintendo did a weird thing like a wearable dude health is the ballgame now like it's it's what everyone i don't know i mean and even like i was talking to the the number they quoted to me when we were talking about it literally feels like the industry invented some other crap for people to buy i think it's like the true future thing right you remember gadica Wait, neither of you saw Gataka.

I hear what you're saying. But I think it's like that represents the future that's attainable. Like we can't have hover cars, right? We can't have the pill food thing, silent, whatever, but we don't have a lot of those things in a real way that matches, I think, our expectations. But having like gobs and gobs of data and then afterwards doing, which I think is Microsoft thing, that data actually telling you what to do. Yeah.

Once, when this stuff meets basically a good AI, I think is when it makes sense. When you have a robot that tells you every morning that, hey, you know what, you would probably like Brussels sprouts. You've never had them before, but they're what you need in your diet. And here's a really good recipe that is spicy because you like spicy food, so it'll make Brussels sprouts taste better. Like when that is happening, all the data makes sense. But until then, it's just data.

Does that make sense? No, I hear like that. that's a high-minded sort of like the industry moved in this way because that's what we want. But I think that's what I think, yeah, it's artificial one. They're forcing it, sure. But I think it's also just because that's the most doable thing right now. And I think a lot of tech companies realized it all at once. No, that's what I think, right.

I'm saying that's like the positive spin, right? Like that's like the happy story. The negative spin is that they want to make money. The negative spin is that the smartphone ate every other product in the world and Sony is like, crap, well, we're not selling digital cameras anymore or voice recorders or Walkman or whatever. We have to create something. What's the next thing we can make?

And like, Fitbit sold a handful of Fitbits. And they're like, yep, that's the one. And they're just like, everybody is basically like Samsunging out trying to make health devices, including Apple, right? Their watch is basically a watch with a heart rate monitor on it right now. Yeah. And basically the same idea is everybody else's watch. And what's weird to me is that everybody,

admits that it's a niche product still. Like talking to Microsoft, they were like, I think the number they kept quoting was $190 million are going to be sold in the next five years. And like, that's a big number. But they still keep talking about, you know, this is for a certain kind of fitness enthusiast. And like there are lots of those people, but that's not a mainstream product. And like, we might get there to the point where it's a mainstream product, but we might

not. Like, it's a weird thing. I know what you mean. It feels to me like MP3 plays. back in the day, like way before Apple, where there were all these weird variations on the MP3 player. You had like the ultra small one and you had one that was just an album and you had, you can play MP3s off of CDRs. And it wasn't until really, I think even the iPhone that like it really, really clicked as something new and different. The iPod Classic obviously

was a tremendous success. But it felt like it figured out what was the other half of that equation. It has to do more. It has to be like critical mass. It has to do everything. And that's what it feels like it's missing here. Maybe the I watch is that. Maybe just wearables that also do health is that. I don't know.

That's the thing is nobody knows yet. And I really don't think it's a guarantee for any of them, including Apple. Yeah, I mean like Apple's betting on the other, like one half being fitness and the other half being Spotify. and I think looking at your... Talk to each other with your heartbe is not the answer. I think that feels crazy to me. So let me tell you, can I... Let me tell the people's story.

There is a thing that might be happening to you in your life if you have an iPhone called... It's called air slothing. It's just a thing. It came out of the verge. It's happened to me. It's happened to David. I have aer slothed David multiple times.

I don't want to talk about it. It just is a thing. It's what happens when you have airdrop on your phone and suddenly a picture of a sloth and an astronaut's uniform appears. That's just, it's just a thing. And I know for a fact that we've, a member of the Verge team has tried to air sloth

multiple high-ranking Apple executives at events. That's no one in this room. Don't tell anybody else, though. It's just the three of us and no one else knows. You can just no one listen. All the tens of thousands of people listen. to this, do not tell Apple executives that they have been air-slothed, even though they would obviously know because they saw a picture of a sloth.

Wait, where are you going with this story? Here's what I'm, here's what's going to happen. Heartbeat sloughing is going to happen as soon as we all have Apple watches. I'm going to troll everybody with my heartbeat constantly. No, you're not. Because do you know what you're going to do is you're going to draw pictures of dicks. Yeah. You're going to draw pictures of dicks.

That's what, that's what the Apple Watch is for. It's so easy. The easiest way ever to draw pictures of Dixon instead of another. It's a long D and a W. It's so easy. You never thought about this? We all learned something today. You never thought about it.

It's just a long D. I never even thought about it, but it is a long D and a D. Here's a thing that I'm wondering. It never occurred to me to come up with like a mnemonic or like an easier way. How will I draw these penis? I'll do it a clay. I must draw a longer D. an NW.

To you. I didn't need instructions, I guess. It didn't. Okay. Sure. I'm glad for all of you out there who are challenged it. Dong draws. That's a phrase.

Which no one will be when the Apple Watch comes back. Fair. All right. Let's talk about one more thing. Okay. One more thing. Here's what it should be. I would like David to tell us all of his thoughts about the Taylor's

Spocker because I know what I think about it. So you had like feels. Sort of. It leaked. Like David ran away into a room. He was like, I'm going to live. blog my experiences. No, so I did. So I went, I got in a comfy chair, turned the lights off. I got my comfy chair. I put my computer on airplane mode. I was like, I do not want to be distracted

during this whole process. This is very important. This process? This was like, this was a thing for me. You're a creepy scientist. Yes. I was in a clean room. I had latex gloves on. He was done. There's a whole thing. But so then I just, it didn't come. Like I sat there to try. Goodbye. It's a long D and a W. Brought to you by the Apple Watch. But so it's just like, I think Taylor Swift's album is terrific.

It's boring. It's boring. It is. I agree. I think it's, there are a bunch of really good songs on it. I really like it. I think she like tried super hard to make a cool 80s pop record to be one of the cool kids.

And it worked and like it's good. But Taylor Swift was like, her last album was like every kind of song in the world. And she was like, I'm Taylor Swift. I can do dub step and then country because I'm Taylor Swift. I was like, I love you, Taylor Swift because you do everything. And that is like good for you. You're 21 and you hear a song and you're like, I can make that better. And then you do.

And that's cool. And this time she was like, what if I only made songs with the same beat where I didn't talk about boys, but I kind of talked about boys? And it's like, it's good. I like the first like five songs on the album. Sure. But it's also like, it's just, I'm over it. Like, I keep forgetting that I have it on my computer to listen to now. Like, I forget that it came out.

Yeah. Which is a weird thing that I did not expect to happen with this album. Yeah. I mean, like, Vox.com live blogged it. Like, it was a moment. It was a moment for the world to buy a record. It's not just me. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is, like, Taylor Swift is, if she's good at one thing,

it is, like, building hype to be. Taylor's marketing is insane. Yeah. I want to know how many people were involved in that. Getting that the New York, like all of New York involved.

The Empire State Building having that light show. But then she's like the New York City ambassador. Like welcome ambassador? Yeah. Did you see the video? There's a website.

She's like, what's a bodega? It's like, I don't, you have to stop this, man. This is the worst. It's like if Sex and the City made an infomercial. Wait, I would watch that. Can we?

Come on. 1989. You didn't watch that? You would watch that. I would hate watching. It's like Miranda walking around all sad. No. She's like,

this is called a stoop. I mean, like, literally, that's the video. She's like, we don't call them porches here. We call them stoops. It's like, why are you talking this way? Like, no one was confused about that. Yeah. Like, I don't know.

I do kind of like the, like, Taylor Swift got a bunch of crap for Welcome to New York, which is like her basically being like New York. New York is terrific and everybody's rich and wonderful and treats me friendly. And it's like, oh, no, this is Taylor Swift's New York. And, like, I kind of love her for doing that. She's like, I don't care. Like, I don't think she's like, I don't care. I think she's like, I don't know.

No, she got here and spent $20 million on real estate in New York City and just has like a happy life where she skips through Central Park with her bodyguard behind her. And like, that's fine. And like, Taylor Swift, you do you, Taylor Swift. Also, that's how I feel. Go on. My computer has been waiting for Apple to deliver my iTunes match results for two years. Why do you use iTunes match?

I paid for it one time. Now we're just waiting for that to happen. It did deliver the U2 album. Thanks, needed that. How do I? I know I bought this. I drunk bought this record. This is a true.

Whose computer is this? You guys, I just got invited to a Slack room in our Slack called Taylor Swift. And I am being, I am being real. at for not for being over in 1989 docks the room now I'm not gonna dox the room the media self-docking this is like the most important room that I'm in the media is self-doxing over the place today do you see that yeah I did see that first look media the people like Glenn here rolled in the intercept they like railed on their own competitiveing their own sister republic self-docs dude get in the game listen man I got I can't do it it's too important

it's too important they're mad at you though I have one question it's a good al album style is the second best song that Taylor Swift has ever done. I don't know. I want to listen to it, but I'm waiting for Apple to live for my ideas. Why is it called 1989? Because that's the year she was born. And it's also like, it's the perfect year because.

Because the album, I mean, the album is clearly attempting to sound like it was made in 1980. But even beyond that, it's like something that to someone in the eight who is born in the 80s sounds nostalgic. And as someone who is born in the 90s sounds like, like 80s culture.

It feels like it's like right in that sweet spot. So where is it? I mean, I guess. I don't know though. It feels like it's like a year that's like. I mean, this to me, the actual thing about this album is like what I wish she had done was kind of what she started to do, which was like basically release a single a week. Sure. And as a collection of songs, it's better than like listening to the album front to back.

Where is this record on my computer? iTunes says, here's, just this is the word. first program. Yes. iTunes is awful. Like literally the empire on this. This is like if you built a castle, right? You're like, here's my new cat.

I came back to Apple. I built an empire. It's going to go great. And this was their castle. It was their fortress. Yeah. This program saved Apple. Yes.

And now it's a crumbling ruin. And they're like, no, no, no. iTunes, keep using it. It's garbage. Sorry. I'm very mad about this. I just want to listen to it. I use Winamp.

I wish I did. I'm food bar 2000 guys have you heard did you guys do the title test Chris was very titles the new high quality streaming service like 20 yeah yeah yeah did he make you do it yeah of course yeah I've great ears yeah past we're all very proud of cool humble break Chris can't I can't I just oh no I'm making this face it's good you like it just I don't I want to listen the record which I purchased which I'm not allowed to The funny thing about iTunes is like I've opened iTunes two times in the last 12 months. One was to download Beyonce's album and one was to download Taylor Swift's album.

And that's it. Aren't you buy like a CD? I'm literally getting side channels now telling me that 1989 is mad. I mean, we have irritated our entire company. Yeah, everybody's, everybody's real bad. You're all, okay, whatever. They don't have to have a good taste. They can still work here.

Listen, this is awful. Like, it's not the album. I don't know what the album's like because I can't listen to it. But the YouTube album is here for me. By the progress bar for iTunes match has now gone from full and stuck to three quarters full and stuck. Okay.

Just, I mean, this is what's going to make your computer like Colonel Panic and explode. It's just having iTunes. iTunes just crashed. All right, that was the Vergecast. I don't know how we listen to music now in 2014, but I'm pretty sure it's Googling for it on YouTube. That's a fact.

I think that's real. Yep. It's real for you. All right, that was our show. There's a bunch of stuff I'm supposed to say at the end of the show. Let's see if I can remember it all. Rate and review us on iTunes is, I believe, the most important thing. So open the worst program on your computer, which is almost certainly how you get this podcast.

And before it crashes. Or the podcast app on your iPhone or any number of competing podcast apps on Android where innovation reigns supreme. And then find a place to tell us that we're good at stuff. And then do that. So that's number one. Just do that thing. And if you hate us, tell nilai at the verge.com. If you hate us, pick up your phone, throw it across the room, and look, just watch out for murderers.

Make your exit strategy right now. That should be. Where will you hide? If you hate us, you lasted this long. Why are you snapping? All right, Chris, uh, here's, I've been very happy to have you come and join the verge team and be on our show. Don't say you don't like Steve Winwood. I've extremely

medium feelings but I know that I was not happy with how you dance Wait, can I just say something that I just learned? Chris Plant invented dad dancing This is a thing that I'm confident I think it's more of a mom dance on us It's like dad face mom dance I don't you have to be like a little too proud of yourself

You can you can tell Chris about his dancing because he's at plant on Twitter. Sure. David is Pierce David. I am reckless. You can go into the post and leave a comment. You can send us an email to any one of a variety of email addresses that may or may not work because Google's enterprise infrastructure is garbage. We're on Facebook.

We're on Facebook. We're very close to 10 million likes. One million. One million. Easy Patel. God. Easy. Can nine million more of you like us on Facebook?

No, we're very close to 1 million likes on Facebook. I know Sam's very excited about that. Yeah, and it's our third birthday in 48 hours. So we want to get to... Sam's very excited about getting into a million before our birthday. 10,000 people. Just get on it. I just want to give one shout out to Vox-Taylor-Swift, a Slack Room.

They recognize that I'm a great dancer, and I want to say that I love all of you. He just gave a shout-out to a Slack room. Welcome to the future. It's tech. All right. Well, Welcome to the future. It's tech.

That's the Virgins tagline right there. Well, we've got real brand strategy conversations to have now. That was our show. I'm so glad you listened. It's what we do. I don't know why we continue to do it, but many of you seem to like it.

And we'll be here dancing for you like monkeys. Do they like it as different? They listen. I have a lot of thoughts about hate faving as an action. We actually had a really in our, you know, we have a weekly like reporter story meeting, which both of you missed today.

by the way. Nobody invited me. It's email migration. Okay. But we have a week. I was learning what a V-up is. All of our reporters like hang out and we have a story meeting every week. And we were talking about hate faving.

Addie made the point that a hate fave doesn't actually do what you want it to do because it gives you something. So if you want to do something negative, if you want to express hate, hate you have to take something away. But a hate fave is like a contradiction in terms because you give someone a fave. I'm never a hate fave. I almost exclusively hate fave. Or my two moves are I either hate fave or I just write back and just say burn in all caps. Which is pretty good. The master of hate faving our team is Casey Newton.

But anyway, the hate faving is the thing I do. So hate fave us, that's fine because it accrues us faves. So just whatever you want to do, that's cool. Just as long as it gives us something, it doesn't take anything away, unless it's Chris Plains credit card number, which is really available. Which is all yours. All right. That was our show. As always.

Sorry. I'm just going to give everybody my credit that number. Okay, go on. As always, we can neither begin nor end the show cleanly or well. So this will be our abrupt ending. Bye. Come on.