The Vergecast - The Robot Nearly Killed Me

Episode Date: September 26, 2014

The Vergecast is back with Nilay Patel, Dieter Bohn, and Tom Warren. No iPhones were bent in the creation of this episode, nor were any bricked by rogue iOS updates. Microsoft's product strategy turned out to be remarkably similar to Taco Bell's, we discovered, and then there was the robot. The robot is definitely trying to kill us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome to the Vergecast, a show about technology and culture and good times and people in life and love, shapes. Poetry. I'm Nilai Patel. I'm Dieter Bonn. And I'm Tomoran. Oh, shit. Oh. Oh, damn.

We've been trying to come up with alternate names for Tom Warren all week. Tomas. I'm a fan of T-dubs. T-dubs. T-W. Yep. No, not yet. Wait, wait.

Tom, can you talk in a fake American? American accent for the entire show. I can try. Is that good? Wow. That's great. Anyway, yes, this is the Vergecast. Tom Warren. Oh, we forget to set our phones to silent.

No, I forgot to set my son. And then it vibrates. That's not a phone. I got an email from a PR person. No, this is my phone. It is currently straight, but obviously there's a conspiracy to make it be a slight angle. Yeah. But no, I want to say, very exciting.

Tom Warren, our senior reporter, owner of the Microsoft Hub, leader of the tribe, king of the crazies. Commander of the Microsoft. Commander of the Microsoft, which is, I believe, a British military title, is here. He's here to visit New York, which is awesome. And there's a Windows event in San Francisco next week. So he came to hang out in New York for this week and then go to that event next week. So very exciting. Also, it's not in the room with us right now, but the Verge currently possesses a robot.

Why isn't it in the room with it? I don't know. We have a huge fail. We have a telepresence robot. Yep. It is the most exciting and disruptive and ridiculous thing that has ever happened. And Thomas Ricker, our editor in Amsterdam, is so bad at driving it that literally today he attacked two people and collapsed in the corner. It is the best thing.

By the way, it's a double robotic spot. If you haven't seen it, it's an iPad on a stick. It has like a segue. It's an old iPad. Yeah, well, that's what I had. It's my old. Yeah. But like, you just know that the first version of this was like made with duct tape.

Yeah. Like some dude, like, bought a segue and he was really drunk in his basement. He's like, what have I put an iPad on it? And then it's a person. Yeah. It's the best and I love it. And we'll have a long review about it soon. The point that I'm making is that it's great to have Tom here in person.

But I can't wait. until the next time we have him on the show and he's a robot. That's a thing I'm actually looking forward to because that will be incredible. It would be amazing. Yeah. So anyway, lots of news this week that we should talk about. Yeah. So obviously the news that is blowing up the Twitter for the past two days has been

bending up. Thomas Fire. I'm sorry. Thomas Fire. No, we promised bending puns. So I actually don't want to... Don't get bent out of shape. I don't want to turn that bend just, yes.

I want to go around that bend and talk about what I think is an equally bad thing and potentially worse, and that is iOS 8.0.1. Let's hit the new straight. For our podcast listeners, I am taking up my headphones and walking away.

No, iOS 8.01, right? 8.0.1, so they... The death update. Yeah, they put this thing out and we were like, oh, hey, it's back and like, health kit apps will finally work. Yeah. But no, it really... cell cellular radio so they could no longer get signal and it also made touch ID stop working

and they left it up for a good two hours. Wow. It turned your iPhone into an iPod. Yeah and the only way to get to fix it was to manually install the full 8.0 update from iTunes. Yeah, that sounds that's ridiculous. Yeah, it's crazy. This is like sloppy Apple, right? I mean that's they've they've had these problems before. Yeah. But for 8.0 to go out as buggy as it is, because it's pretty buggy. And even like the Apple sites are telling me it's buggy, right? It's the app crashing. It's the app crashing,

rotation's pretty buggy. Especially on the 6 plus rotation. On the regular 6th, rotation has not been a huge pain for me. So the 6 plus is like, right, it's drawing a bigger virtual screen and then scaling it to the 1080p display. Right. Well, there might also be some like when it rotates on the 6 plus, it's like saying to the apps, hey, I'm a rotated 6 plus

now give me the double view and that might be like yet another step that could cause a bug whereas the sixth doesn't give you that ultimate view it just rotates but anyway so super buggy rotation yeah uh the paste icon is a travesty that's a bug that i think apple should fix immediately and the bold button huh the bold button the bold button is i mean that's just like that's the tim cook button like that's how i think about yeah yeah uh anyway so like just in the health app exists and they released it and they couldn't release any apps for it because there was a bug. Yeah.

So, 80 went out super buggy, which is like sort of kind of okay, right?

Yeah, the phones are going to ship and then you'll do a point update afterward. Like, it's not okay.

It's not how you want it to be, especially because 70 was so buggy. Yeah, but the, the, the, the,

in 8.0 to me felt like your standard doto bugs. Like, there's nothing there that made me go,

oh my God, this thing is going to be a death march through bug land. Right. Which, by the way,

is the name, of my next movie. Death Martha's Bookland. Although this morning. It's an entirely macro shot movie. It's just your fingers walking through. It's like walking through in hills and shit. Sure.

But this morning I opened up like Uber. Like two seconds later it crashed. Yeah. Like oh, like, I'm not going to get a cab. I'll have a look at YouTube then. Then that crashed straight away. I was like, well, I'm not going to work. I was like, let's watch a cat video.

And that crashed straightway. So I was like, what is happening? So with it. But for 80 and then 801 to be a disaster, like, how do you not catch this bug? Was it everybody's phone? I didn't update. But it was everybody's phone who updated, got screwed, right? Yeah.

I think so. No, but I think there were people that were on like the 5 and 5S that were okay, and it was like a 6 and 6 plus specific bugs. Now, like, I've seen really bad OTA updates before on other platforms. And so everybody's making the joke of how could Apple, you know, how could their QA department miss this? And I fully agree with that. How do you let this thing happen?

Yeah. But running an update through the whole, like, official process of carrier builds and all that other stuff that happens. Yeah. It's not surprising to me that something terrible could slip through. And Tom and I were actually talking about this last night. That it's also probably a different kind of modem. Right.

Right. A different radio firmware that they don't have, you know, years of experience with. So the idea that there was like a gotcha bug Yeah Like it's the worst But it's also not It's not entirely surprising and like You know

Hopefully nobody gets fired over And as soon as the radio falls over Like the phone radio And touch ID will fall over Because it's the you know Yeah so that's what we're assuming Integrity has failed Well so we were speculating that

The reason touch ID Maybe the reason touch ID failed Is if the radio is like Nope, don't work. I'm not what you expect. The touch ID, which is like built into the hardware security of the whole system, says, oh, this hardware looks funny to me. I'm going to stop working right now.

Oh, interesting. That's our guess. I mean, that's how all the architecture would work. Yeah. It would have to. Right. Well, you know, touch ID has a secure enclave. Yeah.

Sorry. That's just buzzword. I don't know. Is it an enclave? That's they call it an enclave. They call it an enclave. Because the NFC is a secure element. Oh.

Different. Not an enclave. Well, you put the element in. in the enclave. Right. Duh. And then you turn out the heat. That's an autoclave.

What do you want from me, man? So he pulled 801. We're assuming 802 is coming. They have said that it's coming, but it's not coming like tomorrow. Yeah. In the next few days. They're going to figure it out. They put out a, they gave instructions, and I think it's not going to be super fast.

They made it a statement today. It's a few days, next few days. So maybe they'll surprise this and put it out tomorrow. But if I were them, I would take that full few definition, which I think is three, and take that time to get it exactly right. And also take that time to deal with Ben Gate. Yeah. Yeah, well. It's not been a good week.

That was a good week. Not been a good week. So here's the thing about the iPhone, this week with the iPhone 6. Yeah. It is, the robot is here. Oh, my God. It's just wobbling. Hey David

David just like Rolled up David David raise the robot up Yeah push the button Like go up up Up He's just wobbling up

God this thing is so amazingly wonderful So the best thing that happened With the robot Is Well obviously you can hear We're gesturing The best thing that happened With the robot is

TC got a hold of it And put the video Of the girl from the ring on it Yeah And the thing is The thing is deadly quiet And so you're just sitting there, you turn around, and it's right there, and she's, like, standing there. It was terrifying.

Oh, go this way, David. He can't hear you. Well, I'm pointing. I want the people on the camera to see him. Go over here. No, no, here. Go here. Go here.

Come here. Come here. This is, Dave. This is some of the worst. This is some of the worst. Radio ever made. Yeah. Do you see the robot?

It's there. The dancing robot. I mean, it is 100% an iPad on a stick. Yeah, hidden behind the microphone. That's the future of robotics, everybody. iPhone. Just trolling everybody. No, so TC, this robot's super quiet.

Yep. It is basically an iPad on a Segway. The iPad connects to the Segway over Bluetooth, and then you call the app. It's like a video conferencing app. So you call the app from like either another iOS app or a web browser. And then you can drive around. You can drive the robot around. You can put Spacebar and like the camera will look down at the wheels.

And you can look out obviously in video conference. And it has a kickstand. It has a kickstand. It has a charging dock. is like hilarious but the best thing is like it's so quiet that you can just sneak up on people so yesterday I was just sitting there like working and I looked up and the girl from the ring the video was just playing like an inch away from my it was terrifying and I had a cap yeah it was wearing a cap we've been putting a lot of baseball caps and like beanies on the robot's a tech in the

window David sucks at driving come on man Is him banging into the window getting picked up on our microphones? I think so. And here is. David, I don't know how to, how does one describe this to the audio listener? An iPad on a segue with David's face on it is repeatedly bashing into the window in the studio. He's definitely going to knock this thing over and smash my iPad. And around it, all of the video staff of Vox Studios has iPhones out recording this because they can't help but document this moment.

There it is. It's like crappy jaws. Like this is what a shark attack looks like in the future. Just like thudding into a window with an iPad. Oh, man. Come on. All right. David.

He's off now. He's going to come into this. Oh, he fell over. I fell over. That was bound to happen. All right. Let's talk about the news. Let's straighten out.

No. Yes. Can you close? a door, guys. Why is the door open? Because they want the robot to come in the room. Well, we need to talk about Ben Gate. Here we go. Hi, David.

Very, very tippy. He's... All right, you're in here? The robot has entered the podcasting studio. Yeah. It's lifting up its kickstand and now it's... Looking at me. It's totally going to go and destroy

an entire rig. It's going to knock over the camera. You got it, buddy. This is going to end in tears and tragedy. I mean, you suck driving this robot. So wobbly. Why haven't you raised up the kickstand? You're not on the camera yet, so we're just making bad television and radio. Yeah.

We're just all looking off-screen at you, David. Come here. Come on. Bring it in. I don't know. It's all the cables on the floor. Just never gets old. Okay, now it's...

Say hi to the people. No, David, you got to... David, you've got to raise the iPad. That's the creepiest part of this. That's the best part. I don't know how to click the raise button. It's in the upper right side. Although he might be on the iPhone app.

Oh, God. Well, we've thoroughly trolled the Vergecast. Yeah. Yep. All right, well, David screws around with whatever he's doing. Uh-huh. Let's talk about these iPhones. Well, so they're bending.

Yeah. Nine of them, according to Apple. Nine. Yeah. So the deal is... Nine report cases. Nine report. reported cases to them.

So, the iPhone 6 plus is huge. Yeah. It's real big. I'm holding. I have one right here. Yeah. And so you put it in your pocket and, like, you can feel this thing pressing on you. There's pressure.

We're back with David, though. And so there was a threat on Mac rumors and then a story on Mac rumors contending that this thing through normal use bends. Yeah. Like bananas. Yeah. And so it's made its way around. This guy from Unbox Therapy on YouTube made a video of him physically as hard as he can

trying to bend a phone. Right. Which, by the way, is like, I'm holding the phone. I've been doing this. Last night I did it at a bar with Tom. Yeah. With the strength of a thousand drinks in my blood. It's hard to do. Yeah.

Like, you have to try to hold it in your hand and bend it. Like, I'm doing it right now and it's not, I'm not cranking it as hard as that guy in the video. So I did a follow-up video in the next day with a bunch of devices, right? Yeah. And you could see in that one, like, He's grimacing when he's trying to bend the phone.

So this is not normal way. God damn. I just got attached by the robot. I'm sitting here trying to listen to Tom. But no, David's just like driving this thing straight into me. Come on, man. Yo. Let's go into the camera.

Johnny 5, shut it down. He's never, he's roaming around the room. All right. So finish the story. The guy from on, David. So he did. a follow-up video. You're done. Yeah. And you could see in that video it was like grimacing when he's

trying to bend it. So, yeah. The force is insane to bend it. And if you're going to bend the phone like that. So there are lots of theories about this. One is that it's a huge phone. Just don't treat it bad. It won't bend. It's cool. This is a non-story. Two is that maybe

it is more prone to bending because of the design of the phone, given that it has an aluminum back and much of the structure of the phone probably comes from that aluminum back. And aluminum tends not to bounce back in the same way that plastic or magnesium or steel does, which are the materials that get used to build other giant fablets. And so we're just like rolling around, and it's a scary thing, the idea that this thing that you bought can easily bend.

And so it's been, it's taken over the internet for two whole days. And even the spectacular failure of iOS 8.0.1 wasn't enough to turn the story away from Ben iPhones. Yeah. So Apple put out a statement today saying that to their knowledge, there's only been nine reported cases of this that they know of and that we do all sorts of great stuff to test our phones, make sure they don't bend, they've got structural

integrity, et cetera, et cetera. But, well, I think there's a weird confluence of events here. Yeah. I think it's like a lot of people keep iPhones in their back pockets. Right? Yeah. That's like a thing. That happens a lot.

So that's like a thing like people do. I keep my iPhone in my back pocket all the time. Second, this phone is really thin and really big. So like it doesn't necessarily want to go in a front pocket, particularly if you're like a smaller person with smaller pants and smaller pockets. Right. So like, here, I'll put it in my back pocket. And then there's this fear that you've got a surfboard in your back pocket and you're going to sit on it and it's going to instantly bend. Which you shouldn't do. Which you shouldn't do. Yeah. I tried that once with a

visor edge. I took a lot of visor edges by putting my back pocket. Right. And I think it's not good. But people now when they see the phone, they're like, oh, is that the big one? Everyone's constantly asking if it's the big iPhone, even if it's a little iPhone. They're like, oh, is that the new one? Is that the big one? They're all very curious about it. And then they're like, does it bend? And I think this week has been just proof, just absolute proof. Like you can love Apple, you can hate Apple, you can love Android, you can hate Android. There has never been a phone that I can think of since the original iPhone and maybe a little bit the iPhone 4. There's never been a phone that I've experienced. It's a cultural phenomenon.

on everyone's talking about it and like does it bend is like that's the flaw that makes it unique right like it's it's the thing you know like oh is that the big one i'm really interested in it doesn't have this flaw that i'm also in like now you have conflict i've heard about yeah you've had this like little like narrative in your head whereas like oh here's a phone is the software bad is the story of every phone right and that's like it's just a different total paradigm yep but i've never had any like i've never had an experience with a phone where everybody knows what it is. Everybody wants to examine it to see

if it's huge. And then everyone's like, does it have this character flaw I've heard about? Right. And dude, I just don't think it bends a lot. So here's the thing. My initial thought is whatever. This is a non-story. I've seen, again,

being a huge smartphone nerd, I've been reporting on smartphones for nearly 10 years now. I've seen lots of phones come out with like pretty bad hardware flaws that turned out to only affect a very small proportion of phones, but the phone gets a reputation based on that. So if only because of the reputation problem,

Apple needs to be ahead of this as possible. But, like, let's say that this is a real problem. And let's say it's a real problem, but it's not that big a deal. It's only going to affect a half a percent of iPhone 6 pluses based on the way that people use it and just bad luck and whatever. That's a lot of phones that give a lot of bad press.

Yeah. I mean, they still 10 million. It's the YouTube video, right? Yeah. Yeah. When people start posting that to YouTube, goes viral, that's it. Yeah. Yeah.

But, like, I mean, the unbox therapy guy is great. Like, he's been here. He shot videos in our studios, and actually in the studio that we were currently sitting in. They were currently sitting in. Like, you know, he's good friends with Marquez. We have a great. Like, that dude's great. They're both great.

But, like, that video, dude's cranking on the phone. Yep. Yeah. Like, just super cranking on it. He clearly wants it. Right. It clearly bends, but that's not normal. So here's the thing that we can't be completely dismissive that, like, this is a non-problem

because there are at least nine, and I suspect that that number will grow of people that, like, aren't doing anything absurd with their phone. Right. So it turns out to it. It depends in six months. That's where you're going. Matt Honan wrote his review at Wired, went up today. Yep.

And he's like, my phone's bent and my screen's a little scratched. Yep. And I'm worried about the jury. But then e-calvats, he's like, but I still really love this phone. Yep. Which is like, no, but that's like the story of Apple products. It's like, I got an iPod. I love it.

The back is totally scratched, right? Like, the headphone jack went out. Like iPod problems. What was the one that got super scratched all the time? It was the... Yeah, the front of the first nano, right? Scrashed like a maniac. Yeah, yeah.

Ross and Chris, I think, are doing a post upstairs where they're listing all of the critical flaws of every iPhone ever made, whether or not they're real. Yeah, the yellowing screens. Yeah. The, of course, antenna gate. We've got, there was a thing with dinging and scratching on the, the fuzzle, on the five, I think it was. Yeah, the five, literally, you bought a black one within a day, it turned silver. Yeah.

Like, Apple, like, kind of, like, the Steve Jobs. And then, no, I'm sorry, with the iPhone 3G, it existed. Yeah. That phone was gross. I have a 3GS my house. I was like looking at it last night. I was like, why did they make this? Right?

Like, it's like a beluga whale. Yeah. It's, I don't know. Whatever. It's, that phone is awful. They had free G. It did. Yeah.

It did. That was its one, literally the one teacher of the iPhone 3G was that had 3G. And the app still? Yeah. And the worst design in history. Just the, like, just one of the worst designs in Apple history. It was just awful. In case anyone's clear, I think the design of the iPhone 3G and 3GS was terrible.

terrible and everyone should be issued. Although I really love the 3GS. Why? At the app stores fast. No, it was ugly as it'll get out. But like, I promised myself I wouldn't say like. Yeah,

and it's coming out. And I'm really mad. Like, I can't handle. It's a day game. I know. I was on purpose that time. It was a joke.

Anyway. It was durable. Like, that was, you didn't care if the thing got scratched up because it was so ugly to begin with

that you were just willing to treat it like a, like a thing that you, like your wallet, you just toss it around and it was cool. Right. That's how I want a phone to be. I want it to be like, do I worry about what I do with my wallet?

Do I worry about what I do with, you know, the field notes or the pen that I keep in my back pocket? No, like that stuff rattles around in your life. Right, but that stuff gets worn. So this is what I'm saying. This is like the Steve Jobs line about the iPod was we ship it with these like chrome backs.

Right. And it gets scratched up and that's how you know you're using it. And like it feels lived in and it's yours. Right. And like either you believe that or you don't, whatever. But most of these other things that you're talking about, they tend to get worn, and that tends to be like, right? That's good.

Yeah. I mean, that's like, I'm like, damn it. One of the reasons I'm using a case, one, because this thing is slippery, and we've talked about not wanting to drop it. But two, like, I like the idea of, that was an intentional, like, of having a case that starts to get worn over time. And then if I want to resell the thing on the inside of it, I can. That's what, that's a standard thing that most people do. It's not like most people. Because the iPhone 5 was like the first iPhone I couldn't resell.

Really? It was just scratched. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. An FM. Oh, the iPhone 5. That's bad. Anyway, back to... Speaking of what you're putting this back in my case.

So, back to Ben Ghazi. So, everyone's asking us why we and I have a story on this, and we post a banana video. This is true. People are real mad about the banana video. Look, if you are mad at jokes, if you wake up in the morning and you look at a hilarious joke and you think to myself, this made me angry, I want you to stop just stop what you're doing. I want you to look in the mirror

and I want you to just think to yourself, there's no joy in my heart. And then I want you to like feel that. Like just feel the void that not laughing in jokes has like created within your soul. Yeah. And I want you to move on.

I want you to move on for that place. I want you to tell banana jokes to your friends and co-worker. That's what you should do. Well, the other thing I want to say is like, the other thing I want to say is that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

We're not going to make a definitive statement about this thing because we don't have enough evidence. Anecdotal evidence isn't definitive evidence. Well, no, so, but no, there's a, we assigned Josh Lones and a story on the thing yesterday. Yep. And then his phone got killed by Apple's software update. And he couldn't finish the story. And that Apple's PR strategy, as everyone knows, Apple maintains a tight grip on the media. Yep.

And they destroyed everyone's iPhones yesterday to keep them from reporting on Benghazi. Yeah. And that's what happened. That is absolutely what happened. I want a congressional hearing. I want a presidential inquiry. Right. Diabolical genius mastermind control of the media.

That's right. But we have a story today. So there it is. And I suspect we will have many more stories in the future. Yes. As this like develops. But nine out of a 10 million is like, yeah. Yeah, we're interested in to see in six months.

Yeah. If it's a thing or not. I mean, it's a huge phone. Yeah. The idea that, like, someone will sit on it wrong is, it's just, yes, that will happen to people. Right? But, like, this is, like, when Ford puts out a car and people like, my car crashed. Right.

The new tourist can be crashed. It's like, yes. Yes, you can destroy any property that exists. And I have. Okay. Let's move on. I was going to just say, holsters, baby. No.

I said it. I called it. They're coming back. Get ready for leather. belt case holsters for these things. On Monday, I was... Get ready for plastic StarTack, clip it in and out style holsters.

It's in your future. It's going to be awesome. And then they're going to turn it, they're going to turn into fanny packs. We are moving... We are moving forward to a world where everybody has got shit strapped to their belt again. No. Yeah.

You know what's next? You're going to have your... Batman. Fabblet. Yes, you're going to have your fablet in the holster and it's going to be too big to take out and talk on the phone because you'll feel awkward. So you'll have a second little tiny Bluetooth phone that you keep in your pocket. And then that's going to grow over time. And then you're going to have two.

Right. Get ready. And then I don't want to be part of this world anymore. No, so this is true. When I was a college student over the summer, like working in like an IT lab at a hospital, I had coworkers. And one of them, he loved it. He called the number of things on his belt, his Batman factor. This is true.

And his like social engineering theory. is that if you had a Batman factor greater than three, that you could walk confidently into any room and be like, I'm here to fix the computer. And people would be like, that's true. Yes. By examining your waist, I believe, yeah. What would he know?

What would his baseline be? I mean, okay, phone, yeah. Leatherman, obviously, multi-tool of some kind. Pliers that turn into a knife, yes. I trust you. I trust you. You can do whatever you want to,

my equipment. Yeah, and then it was like a PDA. A PDA. A PDA. Yeah. That's rough. And then like, you know, you can go like tape measure. I never put a PDA on my belt.

I would put phones on my belt. I had the sweet Star Tack holster, which was sweet. That was a awesome. Mistake. It was awesome. Mistake. Nope. All right.

Let's talk about Windows. Speaking of things on belts. That's right. Yeah. What's about this Windows event? Well, so I think the event was, so the event's, so the event's Tuesday, San Francisco. In the middle of an Oracle event,

actually, interestingly. But yeah, so there's been a bunch of leaks, loads of screenshots of the leak. We kind of got a good idea of where they're sort of heading. So they're focusing on the desktop. It's going to be like... The focus on Enterprise.

That was the invite, right? It was like, oh, Enterprise, Ray. Yeah, so it has like the Enterprise naming. I think that's like, you know, a name drop. Yeah. I think they're going to downplay it, though. Like, so they've invited one of us to go. There's not many people go in.

It's a small venue. They're not live streaming it. They're counter-programming the insanely huge Cisco conference that happens every year. No, weird. No, it's Cisco. Oracle, excuse me, where Oracle literally builds a tent across whatever the street is on Musconi, Howard Street. Like the entire block becomes Oracle. So, yeah, so they get.

Getting everyone out to San Francisco. Well, to be clear, inviting only one person is like a strategy to keep us from live vlogging. Yep. Right? Like, you know, they, like, the industry knows how we produce media, right? It's not a secret. We go to their events. Like, we make this stuff.

You need two people for the live one. You need two people that you need one person, at least two photos, one person to take, to write. And that's the way, like, look at any one of our live logs. That's the basic setup. You can do a live blog solo, but it is not fun. And depending on the subject, it's not easy. Yeah, it's super not easy. And the easiest live logs to do, this is actually really, like, this is super inside baseball.

But the easiest live blocks to do have traditionally been Apple ones. Except for this year. Except for this year because they talked really fast. But usually Apple repeats itself over and over again. Right. So you can't. Here are nine features of iOS 6. Here are the nine features we told you about.

The eighth feature of the nine features we previously, and it's like super easy to do. Yeah. Other companies, they just like talk really fast. And like Samsung announces it all at the beginning. Yeah. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah. the slide goes within like two seconds.

Right. Yeah, Samsung's like, here's an S dot. And you're like, what that, I don't know what that is. What happened just now?

What was that? Rambling. And then there's like a video of like a frog. It's like, like a big booming echoey ribbet sound. Yeah. And then it's like,

design. Yeah. You're like, what? What just happened? And an orchestra before. Right. And then the last Microsoft event

I went to you was the Surface Pro 3. Yeah. In New York. In New York. That was the one where they like basically like hit on Joanna Stern directly. With a MacBook.

Yeah, it was all about the MacBook. It was all the MacBook. And she was like, you're like, you're here with your MacBook. How about this laptop? And Jonah's like, but I'm actually working right now. Yeah. But that was very entertaining. But we, I didn't live blog that one.

I did that one. You did that one. Yeah. I mean, Josh. Paul's game. Yeah. Wait, I wrote about that for Vox. That's what I did.

I was like, why was I there? because I was writing a different publication. That was the original surface. Whatever. Yeah, many surface events. So Microsoft Events, Panos is really easy to live log. Yeah. Because he's really direct and really slow.

Like, he's slow in the sense that he's like, here are the words that I'm saying. Balmer was impossible to live log because he was just screaming. Do you guys hear? The robots moving. Oh. Oh.

Oh, okay. Oh, it's parking itself. I think I was. Yeah. The kick stand. No, someone's coming in here to troll us right now. Yeah, it's just rocking. This is almost certainly.

T.C. Um. Who is this? Come on, man. Yeah, it's T.C. No, the other thing about, uh, a live logging Steve Balmer is you, you were, every, if you were typing, you were jealous of the person taking photos because he makes so many hilarious faces.

Yeah. That, like, you were jealous of that person. And also you want to like, you have like, uh, you want to, you want to, catalog of Ballmer pictures. Yeah, you also want, I've also

got some Balmer pictures that I actually like genuinely personally feel bad about taking and putting on the internet because I was in a hurry to get a picture

of them up. I'm very sorry, Steve Balmer. I apologize to you directly for the picture that I took of you at the surface event. Surface event.

I was my fault and you didn't deserve that. The thing about live logging like that, well, we should actually talk with Microsoft. And I was in the last minute

oh my God. Whoa. The robot The robot just came down like a freaking axe. I'm still here. It was going to cleave off a quarter of Tom Warren's head. It's just this one just rushing down. That robot does not like windows.

No, it's the hell. Man, that robot was trying to park. He was super unhappy. That was close call. Okay. Right. Now I'm getting back to normal after nearly dying. Yeah, so we can't live blog it, essentially.

We can try. We do what we can. But they're downplaying it. Right. So that means that we are not going to see a full giant extravagance of windows. It's going to be, we're going to do this thing and this thing and this thing. We'll tell you more about it later and here's some really nerdy stuff. Like that's what I'm expecting?

I have a feeling it's going to be here's all the stuff you've seen in the leaks and this is what it all means. Yeah. Okay. What is that stuff? So start menu coming back I've known about that for a while They're doing like virtual desktops Which is something that

Linux and you know Right Loads of other operations And Mac as well Yeah They've had for years It's something that power users have always demanded And enterprise users and stuff

So finally getting that And then they're doing a lot of UI changes which I don't think they're going to show next week But like kind of I wouldn't say drastic but I think they could the end result could be drastic right

so they're finally which is a long another long running thing and a joke in Windows is that you can go into certain aspects of Windows and there's these crazy old as icons from like 9095

yeah so they're they're trying to clean up a lot of those icons and stuff finally and then you got Cortana gonna be on the desktop pretty much expected as well well.

Notification Center. Mm-hmm. And yeah, just like a lot of focus on the desktop. So it's like the start screen, we still quite, we're still not fully sure if it's going to be gone or if it's going to expand or, I think they're still kind of experimenting with that. Like, I think that's going to be the big thing about this is Tuesday. They'll, yeah, this is Windows 9.

Well, they're not going to call it Windows 9. They'll call it Windows. Whatever they call it. Yeah. You don't think I call it. The Windows. The Windows. Yeah.

It's what it'll be called. well why here's what I'm worried about wait why would they call it not call Windows 9 well because I guess well I don't know because it's Marksoft I mean like it's just it's come on

yeah well I think there's only they think there's one choice yeah I mean we call it Windows 9 of course because it's just readers understand what that means it's the next version of Windows something but yeah I think they're gonna call it Windows technical preview right like okay

And it'll be available sort of early October, probably the first or second week. I mean, this is like they're walking back Windows 8. They're getting rid of Windows 8. On the desktop, yeah. And at the same time, they've got this other thing, which is, like, some people internally refer to it as Windows Mobile. So it's like, that's just like unofficial code name. Yeah.

I'm not trolling here. No. Oh, my God. And it's basically Windows RT and Windows. Do we need to explain why we freaked out about that? Do people not remember that Windows Phone used to be called Windows mobile? I think most people. listening or

these people know yeah okay you people know um I want them to call it wait so they're calling

Windows 9 internally Windows 9 is called Windows mobile no so there's Windows 9 which is well we don't know it's gonna be cool Windows 9 but there's Windows

should we say yeah and then there's this other product that's Windows mobile which is essentially but it's code name like I don't know if that's the actual official code name

but that's what a lot of people refer to internally so including the chief of Windows um And that's the next version of Windows Phone? So that's Windows Phone and Windows RT combined. So essentially that's Windows Phone 9.

Right. And that product's going to be primarily for tablets. Okay. The booming tablet markets. The booming, just growing tablet market. Yeah. But I have a feeling, so alongside all of this, they do those features on the desktop. They're also doing like a big refresh of I.E.

Okay. Yeah. That's going to be the interesting one, whether they note that next week at all. Right. Because you've been writing about like a big refra—like a low-cost laptop initiative. Yeah, I mean, they're doing that this holiday season. They've already cut Windows to free on the tablet side, and they've got Windows 8.1 with Bing.

So that's like cutting the license off again. Nailed it. But it's really no different to— No, what I'm saying. But that's like a revamped I, e, on a free Windows. and cheap hardware is like yeah I mean Chromebook right man you could imagine

and I'd expect the way that the that they're looking at Chromebooks because they see them as a serious threat there's no doubt about that yeah they have to so you'd imagine this Windows mobile whatever it's going to be called

would scale up to some sort of like 10 inch laptops or like those sort of like netbooking I've got an idea what they should call those things that no one has ever thought of before call them Metro laptops Metro books

Metro books And then the Germans would be. Yeah. Wow. I mean, are they ever happy? Yeah, they were in the summer. I just gave a presentation about Vox Media, 26 German media executives.

This is true. And they were happy? They weren't angry. That was like a way. I'm only allowed to make fun of the Germans because I have such a German name. Right. I'm just saying they were, they were pleased enough with us at the end of the presentation

to present us with the piece of the Berlin Wall. What? That's true. It's upstairs. Wild. Yeah, it was strange. But they asked me, they asked me a number of questions

like the business and like the video and like you know how do you make all this work and I answer the question and he looked at me and he said you didn't answer my question I was like wow I'm in trouble right now but we got through it together me and the Germans here is what I'm terrified with

the world of windows that you're describing about there's going to be this Windows mobile this light version there's going to be windows on the desktop where the pieces from the classic start screen get moved into maybe a start menu and they start, like, fiddling with some other bits of the UI.

I am worried that Microsoft is making software the same way Taco Bell makes new menu items. We've got a bunch of ingredients. We're going to put them over here and package them this way. And nobody bought that one. We're going to take them and we're going to get rid of that one. We're going to add this one. We're going to add this other thing. Windows Chalupa.

Right. That's what I'm afraid of. They went so far and crazy with Windows 8. And obviously, it's, you know, put a lot of people's backs up. They didn't talk about this yesterday. They didn't go far enough. Well, yeah. They went so far down the road of crazy.

Everyone was like, why don't you just split them up and call the thing Metro and like call this windows and they're like, no, that would be too crazy. What if we just got rid of the start button? That's crazy enough. And it's like you screwed up. Yeah. But we've been talking about this for three years. Give us a cohesive like product sense of like this is this line of things and they work

this way and this is this line of things and they work this way. And these are the specific things that they share and this is how you understand it. and make sure that understanding those two things and their interconnections doesn't require that I say three barely different variations of Windows catchword. This kind of plays into them dropping the Windows phone sort of marketing brand over the holidays. Wait, really? Yeah. Yeah, and it's probably plays into the whole thing of... They're going to start calling it phones with Windows.

Well, yeah. More limited. It's just the other way around. Yeah, it's the same. thing. But I think it's going to, like, I would not be surprised in this version of Windows is called Windows or marketed simply as Windows rather than Windows 9. And the same on the phone because you get into that point where it's been like, I know, like four or five years since they started this vision of like apps, Windows apps across all of the form factors.

And they're kind of, they're realizing it now. But it's like, how do they sell the message? The Xbox One has been out for a year. And they were like, it has three operating systems. Revolution in the living room. Yeah. And Connect is like the interface of the future. Yeah. They took Connect and then they put it next to some ground Xbox. Yeah.

And then they sprinkled on some windows. Right. And then they wrapped it in a tortilla of a giant huge box. And then they wrapped it in a... Sour cream gone out. They took the sour cream. You've had way too much taco, Bill. I'm just saying.

Paco's delicious. I mean, I'll put that out there. One time I ate 30 Taco Taco Taco's and tacos and things. 30 minutes. I don't want to hear about that. It was obviously a contest. Okay, I want to hear about that. Did you win? You would do it? You would drunk, I'd shame. No, no. No, no. So here's a problem. Wasn't drunk. Hard shell, soft show. Tide. Tide my friend.

Okay. Hard shell. Don't know why. Don't know why. That's dumb. You will never know pain in your life, like the pain of knowing that a hard Taco Bell tortilla is in your mouth. And like, you're waiting for the moisture of like the great of meat to like, because you've eaten 28 of them. Yeah. Oh, it's just an awful feeling. But we tied. We forgot to buy an odd number of tacos. So we tied like idiots. And then we had a beer drinking competition. Yeah.

And then we tied that to. Regular taco or Taco Supreme? Regular. Idiot. Idiot move. Just, I mean, come on. I was a young man. Just experimenting.

Yeah. I mean, that was the experiment I choose to have. And then the Bears won against the Packers. And I basically felt like. Oh, so a really good day all around. Just no. Like, in hindsight, like one of the worst experiences I've ever had

top to bottom, but at least I've had it and that's the texture of your life. That's how you know that you've lived a full life. By having that memory in that pocket. So I actually haven't even talked about it in like four years. But I understand how they construct their food

and that's Windows. But it could be if they do it wrong. If they slap some stuff together and give it a crazy name. Well, no, here's this cohesive vision thing is like they Microsoft has this classic problem. It's a classic problem of any, like, organization, right? Where instead of doing the first small step, right, and just doing it and seeing what happens,

they wait to, like, roll out some, like, huge thing. Here's this monolithic set of decisions we made. And they just, that's apps on Xbox. Yeah. They could have just rolled out a Windows app store for Xbox, limited it to just games. Yeah. Just games. Nothing else.

Just games. owned about like the connect privacy and what's so stuff but no one one was really developing for connect like in in the Xbox setting well there's the one game that Andrew Wetzer wrote about that the detective game that's yeah pretty cool I mean there's people using it for hacking and like genuinely interesting ways but that's all away from like the Xbox there's no one really developing games the only way I use my Xbox right now is it's cool to log in the second person to walk in the room and be like, ha ha, it's all your face and now you're logging.

It isn't that creepy. That's the only thing I use a connect for is that ha ha moment. Right. I might have, the only thing I use it for is I play FIFA and I swear at the TV and it, it's nice. But other than that, like, you know, I just got the new madden. It's constantly like telling you to do connectie things. It's like, wave your hands.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to do any of that. No. I'm just not doing any of it. But it's funny because you say like they, like the big thing with the experts they could have the apps and stuff. But it's like every other version of Windows,

they always try and do something big. So Vista, they tried to do like a new file system, a crazy new UI, and they walked a lot of that back before it shipped, and it was delayed, and that caused issues,

and the product just wasn't quite as good as it should have been. But it's kind of like every other version of Windows has almost been like that, historically back to the very early days of Windows. So bottom line this, what are we going to get next week from Microsoft that we're excited about? So I think we're just going to get them basically emitting

we're focusing on the desktop. We're getting rid of all this touch stuff out of here. Really? Yeah. And then Windows Mobile. And then Windows Mobile will be like, this is our product for touch. Are we going to get that next week as well? Are they not going to mention that?

Is that going to run an Intel or Arm? So that will be Arm, the Windows Mobile product. So we'll run an Intel tablets. Yeah, but I would assume that they would have to do a skew that's for Intel as well. So that's where it all gets confusing is because, so the Surface Pro free. is a hybrid, right? Right. You would use it as a desktop machine, essentially, as a laptop.

It's the Doritos Locos of... Yeah. So it's like, what's going to be ultimately interesting? No. The most interesting thing is to see how they handle those devices. Because their Intel, they're not... And the Surface Art 3 is a Halo device. Mm-hmm.

So like... It's to be like, how do they... Because there's talk of them removing the charms bar, which is the thing you swipe in from the side. And that seems to be going. So it's like, yeah. Wait, what's left? Then you just have Windows 7 with a janked up start menu.

Yeah, essentially. Oh, Microsoft. But somewhere Stephen Sinovsky is just like chugging a beer and being like, ah, these guys. But it's this tale of Windows, so Sinovsky kind of fixed Windows 7. And then tried a big new thing with Windows 8. Yeah, they're going to fix Windows 9 by removing Windows 8. Yeah, removing the sort of key.

elements, yeah. Which is, is that all just because, like, Enterprise isn't buying eight? Yeah, so they, they, they, they don't want to be stuck with another Windows 7, Windows XP situation. Right. Where people are, like, taking ages to upgrade and. Yeah. And they're afraid Windows 7 is Windows XP.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Which it kind of is heading that way, because that's what people are upgrading to. They're not upgrading to Windows 8. Right. Like, enterprises, business customers. So I think next week is, the enterprise part of that is because they're going to

come back and say, look, we're serious about making Windows what you want it to be. Right. Please bear with us until we, you know. And so they bring one person from every publication to not live log and not stream. Yeah. I think it's to be low key. It's going to be like, this is, we showed a little bit this early this year. This is our vision.

This is what we want to do. Or it's like so bananas that they put all the money into like how crazy it's going to be and they can't afford like seats in a big venue. It's like Nadella rides in on a doll. No, no, no, no. Nadella has been spending the past six months instead of making sure that there's a coherent product strategy for Windows. He's been training with Cirque de Soleil. Yeah. He's going to be in the side of the giant wheels spinning it on the stage. He's going to be holding two service pro frees and swinging in. So is the surface going to stay? Well, let's see how the service pro free goes. I mean, they've put a lot of marketing point in that.

Yeah. It has to stay. It would be such a huge egg on the face. And it's a good device now. Yeah. Right. If they'd waited and brought that out initially, I think you'd be able to, Wait, it's the third version. It's the typical thing with Microsoft. It's like the third product. It's the same. Yeah, I've got one in my house.

It's nice. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, I think it will stay. Like, it seems to be selling, so I think it will stay. But the question is what they do on the software side. Right. Like, that to me is, like, it got a little bit messy with the Windows 8.1 update and the subsequent updates. Like, because they started to step it back a little bit.

Right. Touch stuff. It's like, yeah. Can we also, can we, can we, can we, what are they going to do? We transitioned as long as we're talking about awkward products that seem to try and be in the middle of two other products. I'm ready. We talk about passport. Oh my God.

The Blackberry Passport. We got a review up from, from Dan Seifert, and it's garbage. You had one job. Blackberry, you had one job. And your one job was to build a device with an awesome hardware keyboard. And you blew it. And you blew it. No, I would say they had one.

here's what BlackBerry's one job really was. Like really and truly, here's what it was. It was to use Android. Yeah. Well, that was their choice. They make the obvious, blatantly obvious choice. Right. To use Android.

Just like Nokia didn't make the blatantly obvious choice to use Android. Right. Mm-hmm. And like, here we are. And like, it doesn't, like, Blackberry is like... Nobody's making money off of Android, apart from Samsung, Microsoft. Right.

But if you're Blackberry and you're making... Like, like, I look at this phone and it's like, okay, your hardware keyboard keyboard is weird, but your industrial design is like fairly okay. Mm-hmm. Right? Like, yeah, you made a weird phone with like a squirt. Is there a GIF of the robot? There's a GIF of the robot. Can you tweet the GIF of the robot? I'm going to tweet it right now. Is it? By the way, the best part of this GIF of the robot falling is the, the gesture that I make in the GIF is me holding both my hands off my mouth and jumping back. And it is the exact. It's the exact. same thing I did when I looked at the GIF itself. So now we have GIFTception. Yeah.

But I want everybody who's listening. Tweeting an animated GIF is so hard. I want everybody to know. Can I do it from the main Twitter client? Does that work? No, you have to use the web. You have to use a web. It's going to crash out of me.

The web. No, I use a Tweetuck app. Which is a web view. It's failed for you in the past. But it's true. It's a true fact about the web. Well, I will tell you that this is deep in the weeds of TweetDek. This is going to fail super hard.

Here's what I know about this moment that we just had. Oh, wait. Is there a vine? Our producers are speaking to us, and they love it when I talk about them. Yeah, John Legger-Mercino is talking to us. John, speak to us. Tell me what to do. Jordan Oplier.

There's no good answer, he says. Okay. Here's what I know about this moment. We were talking with the passport. Yep. And Dieter got a notification on his pebble. And then he looked really. Eyes lit up.

And then he didn't look up. He looked really serious. And I was like, what the hell just happened? and he started furiously monkeying with his computer, and then he started giggling like an idiot. Like he was like, this gift arrived. This happens like 50 times a day.

I mean, let's be clear. I'm really excited by this. Oh, this is not going to work. It's a two megabyte gift. It's fine. Let's put this gif in the world. I'm working where it belongs.

Just wait. Yeah. Hang on. So, okay, so the passport. So the passport. Yeah. Is got a huge screen.

It's the exact same size as the passport. The whole phone is the same size a regular passport. The screen itself is the size of a slice of American cheese. Yes. As Joanna. Joanna video. Perfect. The keyboard has the space part jammed up into the final row of keys.

Which is confusing. It's capacitive, which is cool so you can scroll on it. It uses the Amazon Android App Store for apps. Which is crazy. Which means it gets everything except for Instagram, which is the thing designed for square things. Right? Yeah. It's amazing. Oh, and its whole job is to help you be productive and message people and handle email.

And the Blackberry Hub is still a fiasco. But here's the thing. This is what I'm saying, right? They are trying to build this weird half Android thing onto Q&X. Yeah. And they just shouldn't. Just like use Android and be the Blackberry that runs Android. And then like do whatever Samsung is doing.

Well, they're trying to do that now. The price crap. Yeah. The problem is they believe that in order to get their, like, their mill spec, their, like, high-end security stuff, they can't have Android be the base. But that's like, that's like this tiny, like, make that phone. Right. Like, if HTC can make one phone that runs Windows phone and it's the same phone that runs Android, like, make one phone that runs your stupid software and make run phone that runs software everybody wants. Yep.

And like the enterprise, the BES servers and that sort of stuff, that stuff is slowly, like, fading away. Right. Like, it's still important in certain markets. but everyone's bringing your own devices into work. Right. And businesses are going to adapt for that. Right. I mean,

I brought this giant phone to work. Yeah. I mean, they don't have that strong. It's not in your pocket either. You're setting it on every table you sit down at. Yeah, I just carried around.

I think it's somewhat threatening to have a giant phone in your hand at all time. What if it, when at any time I could just pick this up and remove you from my field of vision. What if instead of belt holsters, we get like arm things? Oh, I'd be into that. It's like the next generation of that Nokia phone. in the matrix.

But instead of that, it's like you're wearing a gigantic armhole. They're like the Assassin's Creed blades. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's that would be able to do that. And then if you want to go swimming, you've already got a paddle attached.

Right. This is the one thing I will say about Assassin's Creed that is, I think, under, under commented upon. The fact that they have to cut their fingers for the blades. Why? I don't. Because they do. In the first Assassin's Street, the dudes, like, third finger is slush.

Cut off. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Because the blade can. come out. Right. Which it seems like a really bad design. Like we couldn't figure this out, like, just jump the tops of your fingers off. I mean, they did.

Didn't you just remove your finger? That will, that more than anything, will not let people know you're assassin. This thing was developed before they, like, like, Hey, look at that guy. I think guys got too many of them. I wonder if he's going to stab everybody in this room. No one will know. No one will know who you are. I'm telling

you, underreported on. This game's taught me everything I know about the Renaissance. Anyway, don't buy a BlackBerry passport. That's my advice. We're going to talk about magicians real quick and we can wrap the show. Ah, yeah. So we have an amazing feature up with an amazing video about... One of my favorite videos of The Verges ever done.

We've ever done. Yeah, about Colin Michigan, the magic capital of the world. Of the world? Of the world. So you should go watch this video. This is not... We're not going to do any intelligent discussion. I'm just going to aggressively insist that you go on to theverge.com and watch this video.

And read the post. And read the story. Kyle Chica wrote a great story. But this video, it's like, the story is great. The thing about the video is that it's hard to believe that this town of like 1,200 people that has one stoplight and three magic shops, all of the people who own the magic shops somewhat hate each other. Because there's like family rivalry stretching back to the 30s, which is incredible. There's like a local Amish population. So there's like horse and buggies riding through this town.

It's insane. The horse and buggies have like turn signals, which is the best. It's just like all of that's amazing. And then once a year there's the biggest magic gathering in the world where like a thousand top magicians just descend on this town and do magic tricks for each other all day long. It's just one of the... Sounds wild. We have to go. I mean, we did.

Well, no. But we, we. Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Take Tom Warren. Hey, this is Thomas. I'll show you some magic. Tomas, we're on.

Chodes. Shows some British magic tricks. They evolved plants of beer. and coins and stuff about. The number one British Magic Trick is talking with an American accent. I've done that one. Can't do it again.

Can't tell you how that works. Don't do repeats. Isn't there else to me to talk about? Bashbug is terrible in ruining the internet. There's a new Oculus and it's cool. Russell did some great reporting on the climate march, which you should go read. Explain the Bashbug to me real fast.

It's a bug that affects Bash, which is like the thing that a lot of stuff. runs on, or runs with. It's how you access, you know, the innards of servers and stuff. Yeah. And there's a bug that's really hard to patch. And even if it weren't that hard to patch, it's like, it's such a ubiquitous thing and such old stuff everywhere.

This is like heart bleed. Right. And it's already being, people are scanning the internet for these bugs and attacking them right now. There's a bug, there's a, there's a attack right now that some guy for shits and giggles is like opening up people's CD-ROM drives with it. Well, servers, right? Well, yeah.

So it could be worse than heart bleed, which is pretty freaking bad. So anyway, we've got some great reporting for Russell Brand. I'm up on it. You should take a look at it and be afraid for the future of the internet. Oh, also. Everything is doomed. Everything is terrible. Yes, theverge.com.

Yeah. Also, we have a really awesome new science editor, Liz Lapado. Yes. He's been writing really great things of science. And today she wrote a really great piece pointing out that, like, the Emma Watson, like, threat of, like, nude photos. is like just in a direct line to like nasty YouTube comments. And like the internet's built on this culture of like fake threats. And I mean like, I didn't mean it.

I just said I was going to come to your house with the knife. Which I think everybody, if you care about being a civil, good human being, you should go read that piece because it's important. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is that it it?

That's the show. You got to wrap it up. You got to do the outro. It's the outro. You got to say the name and that will be back and drop some Twitter handles. So, oh, that's the most important part. Twitter. The most important part of...

Tom Warren is way ahead of me. He's a monster on Twitter. Yeah. So much trolling. Yeah. Well, you are a commander of the Microsoft. Yeah. Commander of the tribe.

Oh, my God. Okay, that has been the Vergecast for this week. We'll be back next week. 4.4.30 in that zone on Thursdays. E.T. That's sent for Eichin time. You should leave a comment in the post. If you want to get back to us, we love your feedback.

You can tweet at us. I'm reckless. Dieter's Backlon. Warren is Tribecomander.com. Just Tom Warren on Twitter. You can send us emails. You can do all kinds of stuff.

Just get a hold of us. Just talk to us. You can go into meta and complain about review objectivity at nauseam, if you wish. That's cool. We all love that. Or bananas.

Bananas. Yeah, you can make any video with fruit you want and then laugh at it because that's something you can do in America. And we're free here. And we are not fruit by us.

We should have tried to bend an apple. I don't know what we were doing. honestly come on and that's it that's our show yep we love having you here and we'll be back next week banana banana