The Viall Files - E11 Demi Burnett

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

This week I’m joined by Demi Burnett from Colton’s season to talk all things Bachelor. We discuss the difference between being strong and being mean, react to the new Bachelorette, and talk about how it’s better to be the real you than the “you” you think people want to see. Then we answer a fan question about how to deal with difficult moms, and a guy asks why girls won't commit.  Demi is hilarious, and I really enjoyed talking with her. I hope you enjoy it, too!  Send your sex and dating questions to [e-mail]. We'd love to have you on the show.   Get tickets for our live show on March 31st with Ashley Iaconetti! https://web.ovationtix.com/trs/pe.c/10387186Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're crazy. Well, I said good morning because it's morning now, but then I thought to myself immediately, I was like, I don't know when people are listening to this, but if it's like at bar time, they're like, you know what? I'm drunk. I'm eating chicken nuggets. Yeah. Let's listen to Nick talk. This seems like a perfect time. Well, welcome to episode whatever.

What? 11? Yeah. Wow. 11? 11? It. Wow. 11? It's lucky to some people. I, last night, I want to take a quick moment, tell a quick story.

I was kind of late today. I apologize. I do not like being late. It drives me fucking nuts. Also, I think people generally have accepted being late it drives me fucking nuts also i think people generally have accepted being late i had a friend who at 3 30 in the morning knocked on my door drunk i was really irritated was he okay she is a friend um well i've just, I used, I know this person, I've known this person for several months.

I like her. She's a friend. I met her because I liked her, liked her. Well, I was interested, interested. If you repeat it, it has more emphasis. And, you know, I guess the point I'm telling this story is sometimes playing hard to get, it eventually backfires.

It just gets old and it gets annoying and obnoxious. And when you become the unpredictable, like here's my problem, right? I'm attracted to the wild horses, so to speak, as my friend Ashley I has told me. Apparently that's a phrase from a book. Is it the notebook? No, it's sex in the city. I has told me. Apparently that's a phrase from a book. Is it the notebook? No, it's sex in the city.

I don't know. Fuck, I don't know. Anyways, she showed up at my door at 3.30. First, I got six missed calls. I'm coming over. Oh no. I saw the fourth call. I was woken up by this.

I mean, it was like, I'm not dealing with this. Only for her to knock on my door. I was super annoyed. And then like she was all like intoxicated. Woke up hungover. I was super pissed. And then I like take her to her place. And I was like, you're really inconsiderate.

She's probably really embarrassed. Now. She told me I could tell this story. I was like, you're really inconsiderate. She's probably really embarrassed. Now. She told me I could tell this story. I was pissed. Was she trying to hook up with you? No. No, she definitely likes to like, she comes and goes at her leisure. She knows early on I was intrigued by her.

And like, this is her stick. Like, I'm going to like, be mysterious and unpredictable, which is fun. Like, she was like, she was like, this morning,

she's like, like, how cool was that that I showed up? Like, being playful. I was like, not even a little bit.

Wow. Because like, her MO has turned into being the unpredictable, you know, like texting me on those random times. And now it's just annoying. Now it's just like, I can't even deal with this.

Yeah, do you think it's calculated? Like she's doing it all? No. Because she knows the game that she's playing? She has her own issues. She knows this. But she's an adult too. She's not, she's like 29.

Yeah, I used to play that game and do those kinds of things whenever I was in college. Yeah, no, it's- I thought Yeah. I used to play that game and do those kinds of things whenever I was in college. Yeah, no, it's, I thought it was cute, but then I realized it wasn't. Anyways, this is my life. One of my problems. Um, we have Demi here. I'm super, I'm, I'm excited. I'm also curious. I really don't know where this is going to go. Um, I want to, I want, really don't know where this is going to go. I want to, I want, you were fun to watch this season, Demi. You were really, really entertaining. Let's start with Tell All. Okay. I watched it. What were your thoughts on your performance on Tell All? So I definitely, I could tell that I knew that there was an audience there. And whenever I was there

in the moment, I was feeding into that audience. So you admit to that? Yeah. I mean, it's all fun to me. Like, it's fun. I love entertaining people. Okay. I know that I could be an asshole because I think it's funny. But... What do you mean by you think it's funny to be an asshole? Like, you know, if you clap back with something that's, if you took it like out of context, it could be something really mean to say to someone. But in the moment, you know,

it's funny because that person's being mean too. But I mean, a lot of it, I mean, it was a little too much. But I still think it was funny. I'm curious about this. You were funny at times. At times, shade. Do you think you were, well, you were actually pretty funny. I didn't particularly love...

Was it Courtney? Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. She tagged me. Like, literally. I've talked to her. Was that...

Do you guys not like each other? No, and we hadn't... Well, after Singapore, you know, I hadn't talked to her since then. I hadn't talked to her since, you know, the ding dong, the bitch is dead and all that stuff. And the cancer of the house and all that was brought up. Who was the cancer? You were the cancer? No, I called her the cancer. Did you watch? Yeah, I don't remember.

I called her the cancer of the house. I'm not taking notes when I watch this thing. Well, I mean, it was a pretty memorable line. But, you know, I hadn't talked to her since then and it I feel bad for her like I've always I always feel bad for her but in the moment she sounds slightly condescending no I feel bad for her as in like she you know she's portrayed to look bad and then what she gets a lot of backlash you thought she got an unfair edit I mean no she did what she did like it's your actions.

You get to edit, like, however you behave. I don't think that there's anything they left out, but I think that it's not fair, and I feel bad for her in the sense that it affected her emotional state, like her mental health, and people came at her crazy, and people are really, really mean to her online,

and I hate that. Well, that's never good. Yeah, and I hate that. Let's get back to sometimes being an asshole is funny. What do you mean by this? I want to like, let's peel that back. Like saying like stupid shit like ding dong, the bitch is dead. That's an asshole thing to say, but it was funny in the moment.

When you say it's funny, because we, I don't know if you listen to all my episodes, Demi, but we did an episode on the difference between funny and mean. Oh, no, I didn't listen. I've listened to a lot of yours it's fine I'm just giving you shit I don't expect you to listen to all of them um but yeah I I do find that sometimes what's funny to some people is like especially when it's you know like in the especially in the moment when if you think you it could be mean to that person, do you think it's always funny? Or do you think that joke has a long shelf life?

I think what I was more saying, like, you know, the comment to the audience instead of like directly saying it to that person. And I wasn't being considerate of how that person could feel. And I was more thinking of like, how like, what's something funny that I can say that people are going to be like, Oh, so you admit to like,

just trying to get a laugh. I mean, yeah, of course. Why do you, you're like, Nick, I'm coming out.

I'm like, stop. I don't know. This is a podcast. We're going to get, we're going to, you know, here,

the goal of today is we're going to learn about Demi, the softer side of Demi. Also stop calling, referring yourself in the third person, Demi. Why? Because it's the worst. Why do you even care about that? Well, I don't care. It's just feedback.

Okay. When you're like when Demi needs to like – because I feel like you're more humble and like you're like chill and then like that just like makes people think that you have this inflated ego which i don't i don't think you really do um our mild conversations when you know scheduling this podcast you seem really nice and pleasant and chill and i am and cool yeah i mean noted i i'll try i'll i'll think about that not talking to the person let's consider it I guess

let's just consider it I guess I just do that because it's kind of like you know like Demi is like whenever I say Demi I think of like this brand you know like this person who a brand you're a brand well you know Demi Demi's a brand Demi on TV and Demi in real life like me in real life it's two different things why so why do you why um because i what do you don't do you not think real life demi is interesting no i do and you know there's a lot of people who have vouched for the fact that i am like the same person on tv that i am in real life but on tv i focus more on and i emphasize more on like the funny sides like um the good clap backs and like the drama and the like you know I do kind of come off with like a big ego and stuff and the confidence and in real life all of those things are like normal too but like sure I I mean every day I

usually spend my day like chilling at the house like I'm not this crazy wild person sure yeah I mean listen I anyone I've always said is never as great or as bad as they are on the show. And the show will singular focus on part of you. But as long as it's what you think, and more importantly, like, if you are always trying to be someone, because you're going to be on the show again, right? You're going to be on Paradise. I mean, I don't know.

I want you. Come on. What do you mean you don't know? You definitely should. I mean, I know that I you come on what do you mean you don't know you definitely should i mean i know that i should why wouldn't you why wouldn't i you're playing hard to get you're vetting out all the opportunities that might come your way no that's not what's happening the whole you win 100 should go we'll see based on what based okay based on if they will meet my requirement no this is the thing about Paradise that is scary to me. And this is being very honest about it. Is that on Paradise, people come in every day

and you see people get heartbroken day after day after day. You could feel so confident and sure with somebody and then some other girl can walk in. And these men, like on the last season, like there was a couple of them that were really good guys, but the most of them were just like there to meet some hot babes. And I feel like it'd be really painful. That's honest.

Well, we'll jump back in. Before we leave, I'm going to give you all the paradise advice you need. And we'll make sure that Demi is on Paradise because you should be on Paradise. Don't make the mistake of thinking you're too big for the show. No, I don't think that at all. You should definitely go, but we'll, we'll walk you through, but let's before let's, let's, let's get to know the Demi before the show. How did you end up on the show? We'll do the, like the standard,

this is Demi's first podcast, by the way. So I feel like it's my responsibility to really peel back the layers of Demi, find out her backstory. How did you end up on the show? Did you? I just, um, honestly, I'd been watching a few years with one of my girlfriends. She actually used to be my teacher. And then we got super close. She quit teaching whenever I graduated. She became a nurse. And we're like BFFs now.

She was a teacher, now a nurse? Yeah. Sounds like the perfect bachelor contestant. They have an abundance of teachers and nurses every season she's great and so she was like always pushing me like you should apply for the show you should apply for the show and then one night we were watching um re season and we were drinking some wine and i was like hey i should just i should just apply i was like i should just send in a picture and so i just sent in a photo and i didn't think anything of it and

then they called me in april about um sending in more stuff just send in a picture. And so I just sent in a photo and I didn't think anything of it. And then they called me in April about, um, sending in more stuff, like sending in a video and more pictures. And so I was such a noob at all of this noob, a noob. What's that new noob. Yeah. Like a newbie Demi. I'm a, I'm a cougar. I don't know if you know this, I'm older, so I don't know all the lingo. Okay. get into the cougar no well yeah no trust me so anyway i sent in this video we'll get into it and this video was me and i couldn't figure out the audio and so in the whole thing i'm talking like hi my name is dimmy and i was like they're not gonna pick me i said the whole audio like so it sounded so bad half of it was chopped out i was jumping on a trampoline I was like floating around yeah and

all the whole time my voice was so deep and because I could not fix it I don't know what I did wrong but somehow they called me for like uh the casting call what do you mean your voice was so deep it was I messed up the audio and it literally it sounded like I had a voiceover did you did you message it and be like this is not my real voice yes I said I am really sorry I don't know what happened but I'm sure y'all know how to fix this but it was so like, this is not my real voice? Yes. I said, I am really sorry. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure you all know how to fix this. But it was like, because I was jumping on a trampoline and I was like, hi, my name is Jimmy and I'm ready to jump into love. And I was like, no.

You really did that? Yeah, it was really cheesy. It was corny. It was cute. No, it probably helped. I mean, they're definitely looking for people who are willing to lean into what it is to be on The Bachelor. All right.

So you got the call and you were like ready to go. Like if they asked, you were going. Once I found out that it was Colton, I was really hesitant because I. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, but so what? I mean, why? I was hesitant because I didn't think that he was going to be ready for it because of the fact that him and Tia just broke up and then him and Becca just broke up.

And I was like, how does this make any sense that he is already ready to do this? And then I was like, but you know, this is better than my life that I'm living right now. So let's go. Let's keep it real. No one goes on The Bachelor Bachelorette because their number one thing is not love.

Yeah. I also thought that me and him weren't going to be compatible. And I was like, I'm probably going to go home really early. I just don't, like, I'm not saying it never happens, but no one turns, if they want to be on the show, they want to be on the show. Well, essentially everyone goes on there for

the wrong reasons. Yeah, the experience. There's always like an open opportunity. I mean, the right reasons, wrong reasons is silly. Like, it's this whole, everyone goes for the experience. If you wanted to like seriously find someone, you could find them a lot easier than going on TV. You're open to the possibility. So the idea of not going because it's Colton or Blake or Jason,

like the truth is you didn't know any of them. I mean, you don't know, you know, who you might be more compatible or have chemistry or what. But so you, Colton wasn't your first choice no but no and i was surprised but you went on yeah i was surprised at how much i actually ended up liking him he's a nice guy he's charming yeah he's great so you liked colton yeah i really did were you how how were you really i mean don't say it you you didn't you weren't falling in love i think that whenever you're fine you're in that i mean

you were in the moment but as soon as you say you're home you're like i'm fine you know you're you're so focused on him and like all you're thinking about 24 7 is this guy and like you know your feelings you just get like you know it's like everyone's getting obsessed and you're like i'm gonna say whatever i need to say to let him know like I'm serious and I want to stay here um yeah but I mean whenever you get home yeah it's like whatever watching it back on tv so how early was it in the in your car ride were you figuring out what filters you want to use on instagram or was it when you got home I don't even know what you mean by that yeah like, you do. Like what? I was not thinking about my clout. I'm giving you shit.

Well, your clout? Yeah. What's that? Clout? Yeah. I'm feeling like I'm getting some lingo, like some, an education in the youth of America. I'm thriving on Twitter, if you didn't notice.

And it's because of this lingo. Clout is like, you're like, people will ride your clout. Like if you have like fame and people like, you know, they'll use your fame to like better themselves you you you like colton a little bit but also like i'm giving you a heart like listen you weren't there long enough to develop a real feeling i don't doubt that if colton would have kept you around you probably would have like developed feelings that's not that world does yeah um and also i really don't let a lot of people in like I

don't let a lot of people see a lot of those sides of me and so being vulnerable um I don't know because it's scary it's hard for me this is yeah this is interesting to me well I feel like you this whole like brand or I I would argue that the more you can be yourself the more uh interesting you will be for the long term. Yeah. I think especially when it comes to reality TV, I do think the people on the show, like I think you were often compared to Corinne.

Yeah. Right? How did you feel about that comparison? I loved Corinne and I loved her because I thought she was relatable. She was entertaining. I thought she was very relatable for me too. Like whenever I was watching the season, I was like, yes, like this bitch is bad.

I love her. I, you know, I saw a lot of the stuff that she said about me. Like once I, what'd she say about you? Oh, she hated me.

She was so mean. Like she said I wanted to be her and all of this stuff. And I was like, we are so different. And I remember the producers telling me at one point, like you are way too smart to ever be Corinne. And I was like, I was like,

okay, that's some shade. You heard it here first. And it's not that I think she's dumb. I think Corinne's fine. Right. I think she was great TV. I think Corinne,

the mistake Corinne made is thinking that she was a brand. And I think the mistake Corinne has made post-show was getting sucked into her own hype and trying to maintain this brand, if you will, or this idea of what Corinne is, referring to herself as a third person. But seriously, trying to live up to this hype that her Instagram or the time of the show or that she's built, and that's not who she is. the third person and kind of, but seriously, like trying to live up to this like hype that,

you know, her Instagram or the time of the show or that she's built and that's not who she is. Yeah. Right. And I think over time it has come across as kind of like a cheap joke and like, like kind of like an awkward, like insincere at times it does, it comes across as kind of like a campy. And so I think, you know, I mean, we're, you know, it's kind of lost its luster.

You think I'm being a little campy? No, I think when people live, like when they try to, especially in the reality TV world, when they try to play a role, when they're like, oh, hey, this is who I am in life

and this is who I am on TV. I think over time, it's hard to sustain that. Yeah. Right? So like you were always going to be great on Colton season. And if you do go back on, or I don't know what your plans are for the future or having any type of like maintain,

like having fun with the experience. I think seeing, like showing people who you are and just, and if, and that abrasiveness that you have, I think you should show it when it makes sense. Yeah. And you should do that because that is who you are. But when you start doing things, cause you're like wondering if people will think it's funny

or if you're wondering if people like it, I think that's when people get themselves in trouble. Yeah. And I, I mean, I definitely, I don't want to push that line and I don't want to be too much and I don't want to be too extra about things. And like at women's hall, you know, I was like, okay, that was too much. Like I thought it was hilarious because like the crowd was laughing with me and I like, it was just, I was loving it. But then, you know, watching back on it, I was like, okay, I could have really not done so much, but I, I don't know. Like it was a mistake that I made and I'm trying to be self-aware.

That's good. What is your opinion about the difference between being a strong woman or being a bitch? In general, do you feel like – I'm sorry. Like I do that sometimes. I'll ask a question and then I'll keep talking. No, because don't you think like sometimes there's a misconception of like, I have to be a strong, even person, right?

Guys can do it too. Do you think there's a subtlety or do you think you fall in that trap sometimes of thinking you're supposed to be a strong person? And sometimes like in tell all, like I want to be like, you know, I want to share my opinion and then it turns into like mean. Yeah. So I think like strong, strong woman, strong woman versus a bitch. I think that you can be a strong woman, but the second that you have to start tearing

other people down or insulting other people, you can easily become a bitch. And that's a mistake that I've made, you know, and I have been a bitch. See, well, see, humility is great. You know, this is fun. And the softer side of Demi, people. I mean, I try to be self-aware and like, I really, I, in the moment, I don't really think about my actions, unfortunately, you know, especially if I've got a crowd like hyping me up. I'm like, yes, this is so awesome. But that's honest, you know, like looking back on it, I'm like a real strong woman doesn't have to say anything about anyone else you can defend yourself without being mean and that's true

it's something I gotta work on I don't need to like involve other people and like my clapbacks I just need to stand up for myself and even if that means just like ignoring somebody and just being above it like Hannah B she handled whenever somebody was coming at her. So like, she was so classy about it. Yeah. And I admired that. I told you, I think you're one of your best, like to your point, I think you are the most relatable when you are the most vulnerable or real. So like when you were on tell all and you're like, I'm promiscuous.

Like, I mean, whatever people I'm sure had their opinions and maybe like you get hated. My grandma was not happy. But I'm just saying like, I'm not saying whether you should be promiscuous or I mean whatever people I'm sure had their opinions and maybe like you get haters but I'm just saying like I'm not saying whether you should be promiscuous or not but just that was a risk you took to like say that about like all you were saying I'm assuming was you know like if I like a guy or whatever I'm sex positive type of thing yeah and that was an honest thing and that was a relatable moment and you took a risk by admitting that on TV. And I think over time, when you do things like that, you win people over because that wasn't you talking about someone else. It wasn't about you doing anything. It was about you saying, this is who I am. And some people might judge me for it. And when you do that, you become really relatable. And I think that's when you are the most likable. I enjoyed you on Colton season when you, in those moments, when you

talked more, like when you opened about who you were and you owned who you were, not necessarily like unapologetically yourself, but authentically yourself. And it's like, this is who I am. I thought that was, that was great. Thanks. I really, I enjoy those moments more whenever I watch back and I see me talking about like myself and not talking about myself, but talking about owning some things about myself. If I hear me talking about other people, that's when I'm cringing. And that's when I'm like, Oh, I wish I would have just held my tongue. And I could have like taken a second to breathe and think about a more positive response instead of feeding into this negative, like trap that we're both in now. And it's just vicious.

And I hate it. I don't like that. Well, let's get your thoughts on. I want to dive in this whole cougar thing. I would be remiss. But before we do, Demi. Yes. We are.

We're going to keep the lights on with this podcast. How do you feel about working out? I don't really do it. We're speaking about cougars. You know, Demi, you know, father time is undefeated. And someday you're going to wake up and be a cougar based off your definition. And as we get older. You don't even know my definition of cougar.

Yeah, I do. You said it on tell all it said any woman who dates a younger guy is a cougar literally from your mouth is that not the like the

Webster's dictionary I don't know so a 21 year old could be a cougar if she's dating a 20 year old boy I was a cougar I said I've been a cougar okay

let's dive into that but anyways as we get older our metabolism is slow we need to stay in shape you won't be as lucky as you are now oh I agree I know I need to get in shape you won't be as lucky as you are now oh i agree i know i need to get and it's good for your heart and stuff

yeah just you know keep in like it helps deal with stress they give you nutrition information rochelle i need that macros are everything honestly it's it's it's true though like you can do all the working out you want. If you don't, you just... I seriously believe in that. That's not a fact. It's not something to believe in. It just is. You do 500 push-ups

and a donut right there. It's not going to work. The favorite thing that I have about this is that you can do it at home. I hate going to the gym. I hate everybody seeing me struggle. I'm always late and they won't let me in and I get ready to go. I have a problem being late too. How are you late to the gym? They have like a time limit or what? Oh, like yoga

classes. Oh, okay. I see. I've never even done one of those. I'm sad. You've never done a yoga class? No, I've never done yoga. All right, Demi Cougars. Do you is this again since we're on the subject, was this something you're like, you just leaned into

because you thought it would be funny and you thought it would get some attention or? I mean, they called themselves Cougars. They did, okay. Straight up, I did not come up with that. You didn't. I was being, like, there was a lot of passive aggressive like comments coming at me a lot of the time

because, you know, I was 23 years old. 24 now. Thank you. But I was 23 years old running around the house. Demi's 24 now, people. I'm growing up. You're that much closer to Cougar. I'm that much closer to 30. Everyone's laughing. What is the definition of Cougar by the Urban Dictionary?

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The Cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim. What does that mean? We should get on like dictionary.com. To an absolute sad and bloated old horn meister. To a real hottie or milf. Where is this definition coming from? Cougars are gaining in popularity, particularly the true hotties.

Cougars are gaining in popularity, particularly the true hotties, as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together. Wow. What a wild. That is an insane definition. Definition. Anyways, you're 24 now. I am. You're, you know, just some perspective.

You're going to blink and be 31. Oh, I know. I don't have any. Most of my friends are in their 30s. Oh, really? Yes. You like hanging out with older people. Yeah. All my girls, they're all in their 30s.

And they know that that's not me. Like, they know I have absolutely no problem with women that are older. It was just me being an asshole that I thought was being funny. And, I mean, I could admit to that. We're really peeling back this whole, I was being an asshole. I thought I was being funny, which you were like half the time. It was funny sometimes. You were both.

You were both an asshole and sometimes funny. Yeah. But we're going to get you just to be funny. Oh, thanks. And not necessarily an asshole. You know, the problem is, is that I can is that I can take the piss out of myself. Like, I can make fun of myself all day long. And I think that I can make fun of other people, and they'll think it's funny,

and I always end up taking it too far. Like, it's happened my whole life. When you're making fun of other people, you are always going to be running the risk of being an asshole. It's a huge risk, and I just need to know the time and place. You usually have to have their permission. Yeah, and I didn't do that. It's a huge risk. And it's, I just need to know like the time and place. You usually have to have their permission. Yeah. And I didn't do that. But like with my friends and stuff, like, you know, I can give them shit all day long.

They can give me shit. It's like some of the best friendships that I have. But. Well, that's the thing though. Like when you're giving your friends shit, like it's usually in the privacy of like your car or like you're hanging out. Yeah, I guess it's kind of embarrassing. And you're just like, bitch.

And they're like, yeah, me too. And like all of a sudden when people are hearing. I'm on TV. You're on TV and you're blasting someone's insecurities that you guys have decided it was like between the two of you. Then it just becomes weird. Yeah, I guess it's pretty fucking mean. I can see that. It's fine.

So, okay. So we're peeling this back. Demi doesn't necessarily think a cougar is any woman who's dated a younger guy. No, and you know, like with Tracy, like, you know, at the tell-all, she came to me. I do love how you handled Tracy when you sat down and sipped your wine. And that was, that was epic. It was a little bitchy, but that was pretty great. See, and it's like times like that, that it's funny and stuff.

But like, you know, Tracy. Well, you weren't necessarily mean. You were simply just letting Tracy kind of, you know, you were helping Tracy not look her best. Which was kind of mean. That was not my intention. But that's not necessarily you. I really felt bad.

You were just sitting there like condescendingly. I didn't have like anything to say. What did you say she was? She's really. She's a good storyteller because she is. She's got great stories to tell. And you know, in that moment, I had nothing against her.

I was like, she's just, she's having a rough time. And I think the reason that she got so upset about me taking Colton. And if you notice, if you watch it back, you will see Colton. Whenever I interrupt in that stupid robe, Colton is like, yes. And she doesn't even say anything. And then he looks at her and he's like uh oh like I just said yes Colton liked you interrupting? Yeah he said yes to me interrupting you know usually the girl will be like

um no we're not done yet Colton kind of has to say yes most of the time though when you interrupt I mean I don't oh like what do you mean well I mean I'm just saying it was if he's shooting you down, then there's nothing to err. Well, I mean, there's been times, too, like they didn't show it, but on the pirate date, whenever I went to go interrupt from Courtney, Courtney was like, can you give us a few minutes?

But he didn't even give Tracy that opportunity. Which one's Courtney again? The one who attacked you with a pacifier? Yes. Okay. So Tracy, I think, was just more upset about the fact that colton uh was eager to talk to me and that probably hurt her feelings so that would hurt my feelings if i was talking to him and then some other girl came up and he was like yes i want to talk to you like you know so i really did feel

bad whenever she was up there crying in her room like i know i didn't do anything wrong but i was like let me at least like give her a chance to like you know say whatever she needs to say i'm gonna try to make her feel better and i did like you were trying to make her feel better i really was i don't believe that they don't like they didn't show the whole conversation sure and she was like it has nothing to do with you demi she told me like it has nothing to do with you it's about like colton and like i really that's a great picture anyways um and that was the best outfit i was so mad i didn't get that um i'm sure you could go they can't outfit that you can go to tj max and buy a tj max i gotta go to like party city okay anyways uh you were saying um so i i was just trying to let her know like you know don't get

in your head about all of this like keep being yourself and keep on like you know you're so fun to talk to around the house like keep being like with Colton, keep telling him your stories and all this stuff. And I mean, they made it seem like I was just, you know, like casual about it. And I didn't really care, but I did. I didn't care about the fact that people thought she was upset with me because I know I didn't do anything. So I was like funny about that. And I was like, what the fuck ever about that.

But I really didn't want her to be crying up there. I really felt bad about that. I don't want anyone to be like crying in their room, you know? Well, that's good. You don't want any, that's, that's, that's a good sign. No, I'm just, I, I'm glad you're, you're, you're, you're obviously are a good sport and I'm glad that you are open to me giving you a little, a bit of a hard time. You're definitely appreciate it. You're definitely not just that, the third person using abrasive, calling people out person.

So I'm glad you're giving people an opportunity to see this softer side. We talk a lot about dating stuff on this podcast. So let's dive into a little bit of Demi's dating history. What is, if you didn't want Colton, who were you hoping at the time? Not that you, like who, what's Demi's type? What of Demi's dating history. What is, if you didn't want Colton, who were you hoping at the time? Not that you, like who, what's Demi's type? What does Demi want?

Why did Demi come on The Bachelor? For the love part, what were you looking for? Well, you asked me a bunch of different questions there. Which one do you want me to answer first? See, Demi is helping me. Which, what's, tell me about the relationships you have had, where have they gone wrong? And what are you looking for in the future um the relationships that i've had they've

always been pretty short-lived uh there's a few that were like a few months long um most of the time i had some that were very very short because i i mean in high school they called me heartbreak demi i couldn't keep it i could not keep a relationship more than two weeks well it's high school exactly so it's not serious and it was, oh, I have a crush on this guy. And then it's like, oh, it's like a game. And like, I, you know, I'm like part of the chase. And I'm like, I want to chase him. I want to get him.

And then once I would get him, I was like, okay, I'm over it. I'm so over it. And so then I just, I recognize that about myself. And I was like, this is cruel and I can't keep doing this. And so I just distanced myself from dating in general. And then I got to college. And, like, I was a virgin until I was 18. I was very, very, my dad was very conservative.

And so I did not ever entertain any of that kind of stuff. And so then once I went to college, I was like, huh. I think it's time for me to, like, have some fun. And I'm going to start exploring this other side of me that I'm really intrigued by. So, you know, I was. This other side being your interest in sex. Yes. This side of me that I was suppressing and that I thought was wrong. And I was like, you know, I'm not at home anymore. Like, you know, my parents aren't here. There's nobody here to shame me for this or make me feel guilty. So I'm going to just explore and I'm going to see, you know, what I like.

And, you know, I went a little wild in college, had some fun. And then I settled down with this one guy, like off and on for like a couple of years. And I liked him because he didn't tell me like what I wanted to hear all the time. He was very like honest with me, you know, and he was like, he didn't tolerate my antics

and stuff. And he told me whenever like, you know, I was being an asshole and he was just very real with me while also making. Called you an asshole? No, probably not. He probably said something about like I'm being ridiculous or being a brat. Some guys call you. Brat.

That's the word. Brat. Oh, people love to call me a brat. That's just ugly. You don't like that? Oh, I hate that. Oh. I hate that.

That's a trigger word. Where does that come from? I don't know. I feel like it's condescending. You're a brat. That's just ugly. You don't like that? Oh, I hate that. Oh. I hate that. That's a trigger word. Where does that come from? I don't know. I feel like it's condescending. You're a brat. I'm like, okay, that's what like a parent would tell their child. Yeah. Fair enough.

Okay. So he called you a brat. Yeah. But I mean, granted, I was probably acting bratty. But, you know, he just put me in my place while also like making me still feel like special and stuff. And I was like— I knew I was the only person that he was with.

And a lot of the time, like there was always guys who were like seeing me and multiple women. And like I couldn't trust anyone. So I had all these trust issues. And he gave me no reason to not trust him. Because I was with him every night and stuff. And I cared about him so much. And he was like the first guy where I was like, I can totally see myself like just being with him.

Like we can go live in like a house together. How old are you at this age? At this point? 20. Okay. But you know, this is like the first time I've ever felt that way. When you're 20, it feels old. So it's.

Whatever. No, I'm serious. I'm not trying to. Quit getting caught up on the age. It's killing me. Well, age matters. I always ask when people come call in or ask questions. I always, the first thing

I ask is people's age. Cause it's very telling about where people are in their life. I don't think it's anything to be defensive about, but like, I always say like when I was 20, I felt old when I was 21, it was like, you know, you anticipate turning 21 and then all of a sudden you are 21. You're like, Oh my God, I can go. Yeah. I mean, when you're 16, 21 sounds old as fuck. Yeah. So that's kind of my point. Like no one, when they're, everyone I've met, when no one says I'm super immature for my age, you're like, no one says that.

I mean, I'm immature, but. That's, that's good self-awareness, but like most people don't feel young. They feel like they're old for their age. That's because it does feel old. So anyways, I asked that because it's just a point of reference. Okay. All right. Continue. You're 20, you're 20, you want to play house with this guy. Yeah, I want to play house. And I was just crazy about him. And then I remember it went wrong one night. I mean, this, I remember remember it so vividly like we were at this Halloween party it was like crazy there was so many people around

and I saw him like he's known for having a type of like little blonde girl and he's hugging this little blonde girl and I was like I was drunk and I was like oh my god what are you doing hugging her and he was like that's my friend's little sister you're insane like quit being crazy about this Demi like that is my friend's little sister you're overreacting

and I was like like because you being like that seems normal but was it actually insane um i mean i was crying but i was like drunk girl at a party crying like sure i mean i never would have done that sober and he knows that like that's not me so okay you had a reaction to him hugging a friend so so i was like okay like I'm an idiot and I'm gonna leave now and so then the next day he texted me and he was like um he just went on to say about how that was just too much and um he doesn't want anything that's going to be that serious which completely contradicted all of his actions of me having him. How old was he? He's a few years older than me. So like 23-ish. Maybe. Okay. And so I was like, I was devastated because I had never liked somebody that much. And I was so blindsided by it.

And I felt so stupid because of how I overreacted. And then not even a week later, he's posting pictures with this girl at like a formal event and blah, blah. And they were like dating. And I was like, oh, that's great. You made me feel so stupid. And you were actually like probably secretly talking to her. Probably. But what did you learn about yourself from that experience? Um, I guess it kind of helped me like realize like what kind of guy I'm interested in. I'm not interested in a guy who's overly interested in me. I'm interested in someone who is like

independent in themselves. And like, I also learned though that. What about yourself? Not about your type. What did I learn about? What did, what did Demi, if we're going to get a third person, what did Demi learn about Demi? Um, maybe that, I don't know.

I don't need to get drunk at a party and overreact. What are you thinking? Help me. I don't know. Give me some insight here. I'm curious. Like, what would you, what'd you think? I learned that I like, there is like, like I I can't actually like see my like I thought for forever that I was gonna

never date anyone and I was just gonna be single for the rest of my life but it made me realize like I know my standards and like I'm not gonna do that I'm not gonna let anyone make me feel stupid if I have a like a gut feeling about something I'm not gonna jump to conclusions about it but I'm definitely going to question it. That's a good takeaway. Follow your gut. No, that happens a lot too, right? I mean, sometimes I think when I've dated, I've certainly had women overreact.

I date women, so I'm not just saying women overreact, but sometimes in relationships, people overreact. Yeah, people. Guys definitely can too. Guys definitely overreact. Yeah, people. I've also like. Guys definitely can too. Guys definitely overreact. Oh my God. But there is something true about like, it's always the guilty ones who overreact the most or the insecure ones.

Not that they, when you, you know, and so following your gut is important. Also maybe not, you know, playing house is a good takeaway. Yeah. But again, that comes with age. I've played house multiple times. Why do you roll your eyes, Rochelle? I don't know.

Because she loves me. Yeah, I just feel like you're being a little hard on her. He is. I'm not being hard. You know what? It's fine, though. I can handle it. I'm falling on the sword because people listening will be like,

Nick, you're a little hard on Demi. Demi's so sweet and nice. This is a different side of Demi. Oh, she's not like the abrasive girl on tell-all. You know what? You're welcome. So yeah, I'm taking one for the team here. But you accuse her.

I'm not saying you accuse her, but you're kind of talking about her wanting to be a brand and you don't think that you've done that at all in the past or used reality? I don't refer to myself ever as a brand. Certainly not. I have never referred to myself in a third person. I definitely feel lucky that I have been able to do the things I've done.

I definitely could be a cocky person, but I try to remind myself of humility. And I do think, if I'm being honest, the thing I got luckiest with is my willingness to just be myself. I have gotten myself in trouble by being myself. I have gotten praised by being myself and it hasn't come without criticism,

but my longevity in this world has come because I was always me and I wasn't trying to be an exaggerated version of myself and I wasn't trying to play it safe and being a boring version of myself. I just was myself. So to answer your question, I do think that's been my biggest strength

in this environment is just to just do me. Ashley I is another perfect example. And I've always said this, is that Ashley has always been brave enough to be who she is and who she is is sometimes a little insane and crazy and and and and emotional and also really smart and and dedicated and passionate to getting the things that she wants and I think that's why Ashley's had the success that she has I mean I think that like I've always been myself I may have been an extra version of myself, like kind of, you know, taking it a little too far.

But it was always me. And it was always like, you know, my own actions. I don't doubt that. But I'm glad you admitted that you were kind of amping it up a little bit. Because I think who you are is far more interested than who you think people want you to be. That's what I think. Deep. Anyways, a quick plug.

We are doing, if you're in L.A. on March 31st, are you going to be here on March 31st? I mean, we'll see. You should stop by. We're going to do our first live show, live podcast. So if you are in L.A., you should come check it out. Seats are extremely limited. It's a

small little venue. It's going to be intimate. So yeah, we'll have some fun. Ashley, I will be my guest co-host that episode. Oh, love Ashley. It's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to be engaging with the fans. If Demi is in town, she's going to stop by and say hi. Yeah.

I'm giving her the invite. I'm informally inviting her and pawning her off so I can sell more tickets. Hey, I would love to see all of you. It's going to be a lot of fun. So I hope you, I hope you come. You must be over 21. Rochelle,

where can people go to get their tickets? You can go to westsidecomedy.com and go ahead and get your tickets for March 31st at 9 p.m.

It'll also be on our Instagram at vile files and I'll put it on mine too. So please come. Again, Seats, it's a small venue. So we just started promoting it. I don't know if we're going to sell. We're going to sell on a day.

I don't know. But if you're listening to it, come. It's on a Sunday night. It'll be a ton of fun. Hopefully if this goes well, we'll do more. If you're in other cities listening, let us know. If you guys have a group of people and want us to do a live show out there. But it's going to be a lot of fun.

Demi, Bachelor, another season in the books. Yes. A couple of things. Hannah, Hannah B is our new Batserette, I think. We're recording this early and we're pretty sure it's going to be Hannah B. The beast. We're pretty sure.

I'm 100% in favor of this choice what are your thoughts um this is the best thing that could have happened other than myself being it I mean obviously that was a stretch but um I was being considered I don't know if I'm allowed to say that but I was everyone's considered but that like Hannah B don't make me don't I'm sorry you just knocked that Demi was a second choice. I was a runner up. You might have been. I will say though, Demi, not again, not to you, but it's like this running joke with people in Bachelor World

who like everyone says that they were like in the running or they've turned it down. Everyone has some bullshit story about their chances to be the Bachelor or Bachelorette. I know. So I kind of roll my eyes sometimes when people say that. I don't doubt that you would have. I think it's shocking that I was being considered. I never thought for one second that they would have even slightly thought I could do that

role. I don't think you could have done it. I mean, no, I think I could have once they, you know, told me that they were interested in it. But why don't you think you could have done it? I don't think that they would have considered me to do it because of the fact that i was uh the polarizing controversial character that i was um i mean yeah you were i don't know i i pushed it like i was pretty intense on there you didn't call anyone like to cancer the house um i feel like i got in too many fights i did call someone

out for having sex with me so that that was honestly bad but i mean i didn't think it was that big of a deal but i'm just saying like i mean i i do think uh that um i i do think you don't have to be um picture perfect or not i mean especially when it comes to the bachelorette i think i think it makes i mean that's kind of you could argue that's almost sexist but they sometimes the show tends to want to pick the more uh straight-laced bachelor and they they tend to want to pick the more straight-laced bachelor, and they tend to want to pick the bachelorette who can push back or show some more emotions. I think they should do that with every lead.

I think Hannah B. is an awesome choice. I think it's perfect. I think she's, you know, it's going to be very entertaining. She's very real. She's very fun. She's also, I know that she's so ready to be married like she talks about it all the time uh i how old is she how old is she she's 24 okay yeah and i mean that's a huge difference between me and her i mean it's not like we have a huge

we have a maturity difference as far as like love life and relationships go me and her do um what what and why do you say that what do mean? She's just way more ready to settle down with someone. And I would be open to that idea, but I can't openly say like, oh yeah, I want to get married. I want to have a family. I want to do that now. I want to be engaged.

And she is that way. But I think that's what makes her a perfect bachelorette because essentially that's what you're there for. You're there to get engaged. That's not why I think she'll be a perfect bachelorette. I mean, I think that's fine. That's for. You're there to get engaged. That's not why I think she'll be a perfect bachelorette. I mean, I think that's fine. That's fine. No, I mean, listen, I thought I was going to get married

and I want to get married when I was 23, 24. I mean, my point is things can change. I'm glad that she wants to get engaged. But if they asked you to be the bachelorette, I think it's all about meeting the right person. And that's the thing, too. It's like on my season or even Colton's season, like you don't know who's going to get out of the limo

and you don't know and the expectation is engaged. And we all want to meet the right person. And when we meet the right person, we'll get engaged. So I don't think it's that big of a deal. What I find interesting about Hannah being, I think you would have been a great choice too, is that she is not safe. And that's what I told Colton. Whenever I left that in Vietnam, I said, think you could have been a would have been a great choice too is that she is not safe and when

Hannah that's what I told Colton whenever I left that in Vietnam I said don't pick a safe choice I was like because you think that you're going to be happy in the long run but if you pick a safe choice you're not going to be happy then and you're going to know that you missed out and I was literally trying to like hint to him pick Hannah B. Well, safe could be... First of all, when it comes to being the bachelor or bachelorette, I had that happen too. Listen, you have feelings for who you have feelings for. Yeah.

Safe in terms of Hannah B being a great bachelorette and safe in terms of whether they're compatible together are completely two different things. Well, I didn't mean that. I meant safe as in picking someone who you know is always going to like be there and you know won't like, you know, potentially maybe like leave you and you feel like you have more control over, maybe not control over, but you feel like secure and you feel just comfortable around them. Whereas, you know, Hannah, she would be the most loyal person ever but

she you know is just a little more she's wild and she's crazy and she's fun and she's you know I totally agree I think what what I like about her it's similar to you is and again this is not a rip on on Kaylin or Cassie or or Hannah G but it was pretty obvious. They all thought about everything they said before they said it. Yeah. Everything. Yeah. Even when they were most emotional, you could tell they were very poised and very like, and Hannah B was the exact opposite.

Like you, it was like, as soon as it pops in my head, it's coming out. Right. And I think that is interesting. And we'll have the best chance of getting to know our bachelorette, Hannah B, and what she's all about. And I suspect it's going to have a lot of drama and a lot of emotions

and a lot of confusion, some growling at her guys. That's my favorite ever. I think it's a great story. I mean, and I think Cailin was great, but like, it's kind of an endearing story that she never, you know, she lost to Cailin in the, you know, Miss America. She lost to Cailin in The Bachelor, but now she's a bit of a winner being The Bachelorette. I think it's a great choice.

And I, you know, I think it's been received with mixed reviews because she had a bit of a, you know, you, I don't think there's such a really thing as a villain in Bachelor world anymore. Like, I don't, do you think you were a villain? No, I think that maybe people thought that I was at first, but I don't think that by the end of it, they thought that anymore. Or at first, like, you know, Hannah, Hannah, it was a little, it was, she was the loser in the Kaylin versus, you know, you know, Kaylin kind of came across. She was really worried too. Like once those episodes were airing, she was like, you know, you know, Kaylin kind of came across. She was really worried too. Like once those episodes were airing, she was like, Demi, these people hate me. She was like so sad about it.

And I was like, I know that you're going to come out on top. And I'm like, and now what, you're the bachelorette? She won people over. And then that's a great story. Like getting people, that to me is more interesting. I'm saying this bias because that was more my story. I wasn't always like, oh, he's amazing. And he's always been like, it's hard to, that was more my story. I wasn't always like, oh, he's amazing.

That's also not real. No one's ever that great and it gets a little old. I think she's going to be fantastic. I'm excited. She's going to be good. She's going to give those boys a run for her money and she's not going to take any shit from them and I'm going to love that. What are your quick thoughts on the outcome of this season?

Colton and Cassie, Hannah G, high and dry. I think it's crazy. You know, I know Hannah G is still like super heard about it. She, and I talked to her the other day. I was telling you about this, how she called me after that episode aired of the whole fence jump and everything and she called me the next day and she was crying um and you know they don't show enough of her and her emotions on the screen they cut a lot of her airtime and also I know that she's very guarded and she is worried about like you know what she says and everything but she was

so hurt over it because she felt that the way Colton felt about Cassie and how he would have done anything for her and it didn't matter anymore felt about Cassie and how he would have done anything for her and it didn't matter anymore like about anyone else and that was like all he wanted that's how she felt about him and he didn't like he didn't even give her a chance in Portugal like he didn't even give her a chance with the fantasy suites he just completely dropped her and she had no sign that that was coming like she thought that it was going to be her like after they had their one-on-one in Vietnam he did nothing but lead her to believe that it was going to be her and then all of a sudden drops her that is the wild part about this season and certainly the

forgotten aspect too because I couldn't imagine being as confident as I was with both Andy and Caitlin and not only it's one thing to get dumped fine Fine, that sucked. It was certainly surprising. But just to, before that date, just, yeah, sorry. Nah. And then to come back and watch it and see this confession to Cassie, which I appreciate. Again, if it had Vanessa left like that,

I probably would have had a very similar reaction. Almost identical to what Colton did with Cassie. Like you can't fault Colton. It's a tough position to be in the bachelor and try to manage these emotions. And with Cassie leaving, she was probably the front runner and he panics and this is who I want to be with. But unfortunately, the forgotten person is Hannah.

And I don't know the relationship there. Again, I feel like Raven kind of knew, and I've mentioned this before, but if you're telling me Hannah G was all in and really thought. He even told her, I thought it was going to be you until we got to Portugal, which makes no sense because he didn't spend any time with her in Portugal. So, I mean, in my eyes, I I adore Colton. That means I thought I thought I was going to be you until Cassie dumped me. And that's exactly what it comes down to is like, it's like the chase. And I mean, I think that Colton and Cassie are really happy together, but I think in the moment, like the one girl who you're really into and then she doesn't want you,

I mean, it's human instincts to be like, naturally want to chase after that more. And so- So do you think Colton always wanted to be with Cassie or do you think it was more the chase? Because like, again, when I was a bachelor, had Vanessa done what Cassie did, it wasn't about the chase.

Like that was, she was the one. And so when Colton says that, I'm watching it I'm watching it and I can totally relate to this moment but do you think nothing against Raven and we've talked about this but I wasn't developing those feelings she was great and I was very careful but I had to lead her on a little bit I definitely did

but I don't feel like I don't feel like and i know this because i never like raven never called up rachel and said you know i felt the same way i was blindsided like that never happened but hannah g did yeah um you know and i want to just start like disclaimer like i'm friends i'm great friends with cassie and i'm great i'm great friends with colton too we're very cool um but i i know that whenever i watched the season back i could see the chemistry between colton and cassie as far as you know they were all over each other um i saw it a lot more on the show than i ever

saw it whenever i was like in the show like whenever i was there i never saw it but i never saw them together because i was like oh this is my own world and I'm just living in it, you know? Cassie or Kanagi? I never saw it between Cassie and Colton. But once I saw it watching back, I saw all of it. And I was like, oh, they were just very respectful and private and never showed it off. That's common. And Cassie's very quiet. Like, you know, she's so sweet and she's so funny, but she keeps to herself.

And so I didn't, I never was like, I never heard her talking about her and Colton's relationship and stuff like that. So whenever I'm watching it now, I see their connection, but I think that her and Hannah G were like neck and neck with that chemistry. And the whole time you're watching it, you can't tell which way he's going to go. As a woman, and you have instincts, when you felt like Cassie broke up with Colton, do you feel, and then like in Colton,

we talked about this last week, because I'm watching it, and I've never met Cassie. I think I like Colton. Cassie seems great. I thought Cassie's dad was an absolute rock star. Cassie's dad was the hero of the season, I feel like. And I think everyone else reacted. Like, you know, Colton reacted great and authentically,

but he also just reacted to the moment. You know, like sometimes we're all just a product of what happens and how we react to it. But I couldn't help but feel like Cassie didn't really, wasn't really into Colton. Only in that, especially in that moment, at least, because it's, it's hard to be, it's hard to be reasonable in that. It's hard to be objective. If you, if you have feelings, you think you're in love. And if you don't have feelings,

you just don't have feelings. And she seems so pragmatic. I was, your take as someone or a woman in that environment, What did you think in terms of what was your read on, on Colton Cassidy and how like, I'm sure she liked them, cared about, do you think she was over the moon with them? I think that Cassidy is like a heart throb. And I think she's like probably had no problem like getting guys her whole life. And they've probably, you know, chased after her, her whole life. And so whenever you're in the show, you know, it's kind of like, okay, I like this guy. And, you know, she started to have feelings for him and stuff.

And then once she realized that he was all into her and everything, it probably freaked her out because now she was like an engagement. My dad just told me that I'm not ready for an engagement. I'm scared. You know, I mean, I understood it. Like I understood that it's a scary thing especially because she is 23 and to like it just hits you like

that like you know okay this is for real like there was still a chance that I wasn't gonna make it to the end maybe and I would have had more time to think about this but now it's already here it's in front of me I mean I would rather her be honest and be like uh like I'm scared like I'm freaked out like I don't know if I can do this be honest and be like, like, I'm scared. Like, I'm freaked out.

Like, I don't know if I can do this, you know. And she didn't know. And I mean, I was I felt really bad for Colton. And I kind of felt like, wow, like a bunch of stuff that people were warning him about. Now it's like, you know, coming to fruition and like it's actually happening. But it doesn't take away the fact that I respect her for being honest instead of her just being like, oh, yeah. take away the fact that I respect her for being honest instead of her just being like, oh yeah, like saying, being a yes man, you know

and just saying, like reciprocating the feelings because she felt bad for him. I like that she did what she did. I agree with all that. But I'm talking about like, I think she likes Colton. Do you think she was... I can't speak for her. Like, I don't know. I'm not asking you to speak for her. I'm asking your opinion as someone who's been in that world

and as a woman in that atmosphere. Do you think she was uh she liked him but like when she was breaking up with him being like i don't like do what do you do you how how into him or over the moon with colton do you think she was or is um she's so afraid she's so afraid I mean what it I don't want to like okay I think the

I think we have our answer I don't know like I can't I don't know I don't know that was me quoting Cassie I don't know I wish I knew

but I don't know when you don't know sometimes you know you know don't you think Nick I wanted to say something you said the father was the hero

but a lot of our listeners actually wrote in and said they disagreed with what the father said, where like he said, you have to feel it a hundred percent. And that's how you know that it's the right person for you. And a lot of people were like, I didn't know right away. And it ended up. I guess I wasn't saying he was a hero for specifically the words he said,

but I do think a lot of parents in that world, again, when people sign up for the show, they don't know what they're really getting into. I'm assuming when you showed up, there's the idea of what you had, what the show was going to be, and then what it was, and you're kind of like, oh my God, this is insane, right? Yeah. So for parents to come in, and all I'm saying is Cassie's dad cared about his, like, not that he cared or loved his daughter any more than anyone else, but he just wanted to make sure that his daughter wasn't rushing in to a huge decision that she, it was probably safe for him to assume that she was

going to feel pressure, not necessarily from Purdue's, but just the environment. Like that's the expectation. And for her to come in there and have, make his daughter feel okay. Because I'm assuming that Cassie, it's a safe assumption that if Cassie was questioning her, not being sure, it's very easy in that world to just go along with it, to just be so caught up in the moment for fear of like, well, what if I do? I mean, Cassie had that been,

and that been at that point, Cassie had been accused by other women of not being ready. She had been, you know, told that she wasn't there. First of all, that's not a crime, right?

She can sign up for the bachelor and figure that's, it's allowed to sign up and go on The Bachelor and figure it out as you go. That's literally the point. The idea that is like, if Colton picks me, I'm going to pick him back. And that's a hundred percent guarantee is insane. But yet people have that expectation of the contestants, right? Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's pretty crazy. And then all of a sudden in the middle of the show, you're getting accused by your peers of being too young or not ready. So it would be a safe assumption for Cassie to get that far. And then even if there's a shadow

of a doubt, it'd be like, I don't know if I can get engaged to this guy, which is normal to her to still go along with it because she'd be afraid of being hated or criticized or like being a hypocrite or proving the other women right. And yet Cassie's dad comes and says, Hey babe, it's okay. I love you. You're my daughter. It's going to be fine. And just for him to do that. And he, he made her feel okay with just doing what was in her heart. And I think that is the important part. And I think that was what was great about what Cassie's dad did. The idea, I think him saying that I think is, it sounds great and not you're right. It might not necessarily be the reality. And

it's also bachelor world. And I think in that world, to that was kind of my point, you either feel it or you don't, right? That world is designed to maximize your emotions. And if you are questioning how you feel about someone in that world, then I don't know. Yeah. Like how would it be in the real world? Well, I mean, again, it doesn't dictate't dictate the, it doesn't dictate your success. But again, if you're not over the moon with someone in that world, how, like that's, that's, that's gonna, you know what I'm saying? That's, it's designed to make you crazy about someone.

Yeah. That's, that's all you're thinking about. That's all you're thinking about. And if you're like, eh, it's how, eh, how do you get over the moon? That's my point, right? Because I've never doubted, I've never downplayed how over the moon I was about Andy or Caitlin in that atmosphere. And they had great qualities and reasons why I was over the moon about them.

Outside of that world, it was a lot more of like, okay, yeah, we're definitely not supposed to be together. There's definitely differences. It didn't take away from what I liked. And that was just kind of my point. So Cassie's dad, for me, just in that time, you know, I thought I liked that he did that. And I think all he cared about was Cassie and he made her feel okay with doing what she was, you know, she, at that moment, she wasn't worried about what Tayshia or all the other girls were accusing her of. Because I remember, I remember being over the moon

about Andy and I remember, like I was the villain Andy season. I was, you're a strategic Nick. And I was, and there were thoughts towards the end of the season, even though I was heartbroken, but before getting engaged, before that, the morning of with Andy,

I was like, well, I don't doubt that I love Andy, but am I ready to get engaged? And I would, there are thoughts of like, well, why can I just not get engaged? But then I had thoughts of like, well, if I don't, then I'm proving people right. Or like, cause guys had said that all, he's just trying to do this. So I, I can definitely relate to that fear of what people are going to think about you. So that's, that's why I liked it. I felt like her dad, dad gave her a safe place.

Yeah. And I liked that. Because I can relate to that with my dad. If my dad were to come out there, I'd probably do the same thing. But that would all depend, of course, on all the different circumstances. Your dad was the unspoken hero in your life. Yes. Your mom got, obviously, some attention.

Yeah. And I felt really bad about that. I mean, I was glad that I got to tell my story about my mom because it was something that was so huge in my life. And it, I mean, it challenged my life throughout my entire childhood. But my dad is the hero that no one ever talks about. And he dropped everything. He didn't care what was going on in his life. His main priority was us. He was an amazing example. I wonder if there's a picture of him.

Were you mad that I referred to you as jailbird on my show? No. I don't know. All right. Before we get into some fan questions, let's get back to Paradise. You're definitely going on, Demi. I think it's all bullshit for you to pretend that you're not. It's not.

I'm not pretending I'm serious about this I'm scared I re-watched the last season and to see all of that stuff happen like getting broken up with sucks getting broken up with on tv and then watching it back that sucks even more and like it's painful and I don't know what do you have to say? Here's what I have to say. A lot of your peers and people on the show sometimes make the mistake of negotiating too hard with the show. You know, so if there's any thought about that. I'm not going to negotiate money. I just want to be like, I just want it to be known that like,

I want to be the queen of paradise, which seems a bit dramatic. Well, I do. Demi, that's entirely up to you. I want it to be, you know, I want to run that beach. Well, that's entirely up to you i want it to be you know i want to run that beach well that's entirely up to you the show's not going to guarantee you that they're not going to i mean i want to be like i want to be the first one there it's not a scripted show first one out of the limo i should be the first one on the beach fine negotiate that but also like who cares about that i i mean i do like you want to you want you want to be in the first group

I definitely do not want to come in later I'm not going to be that girl who shows up and stirs up the pot you definitely want to be in the first group my favorite picture ever don't so a couple things I kill people with kindness

we're literally teaching Demi here so this is not going to be a surprise but you're going to things. I kill people with kindness. Surprise people. We're literally teaching Demi here, so this is not going to be a surprise. But they're going to try to get under your skin. Oh, I know. You're not going to let them, Demi. I'm going to think about this moment whenever that happens. And I'm going to think about- You are going to lean into who you are. And you are going to let people get to know you and be vulnerable and you'll find things that you have insecurities about and openly tease yourself about it and have some fun.

That's Hannah's B strength, right? Would you agree that at first she was the weird, crazy person and then a few weeks later, she's just the girl who's fine with being herself? And again, Ashley I is a perfect example of someone who's just okay with being who they are. And that is what's relatable. And that is what's charming. And if you can be funny about that, then, you know, and you are funny. You're a funny person. Yeah.

You should do that. Just observe your peers. You can tease your peers a a little bit but not as i mean you should you know i think make observations yeah and i think it's funny if they're in on the joke like that's one thing that i didn't do like i if i told you know okay so me and tracy now women's hall you know she came for me a little bit the second after she did that she marched on that like we had an intermission She marched down the stairs and gave me a hug and she was like,

I didn't, like, I'm sorry I came for you. Like, you know, we were laughing about it. I was like, dude,

it's fine. I know that you like, there's a storyline going here and we're trying to play onto it. So, I mean, I don't even want to be involved in any kind of,

like, rivalries anymore like that. But if, you know, me and some people are just- Even if you are, listen, you're going to be

because like, you are who you are. I'm so over that shit though. It is so infuriating. I will say this about me though too like i i i struggled i never liked being the villain or polarizing but i have a big personality and i i always have opinions right or wrong i have thoughts and i sometimes want to get it out so even when i try to be like i'm just going to play it cool like I'm not that guy so whether I was on Andy or Caitlyn season or paradise I was going to speak up yeah right and I can't and I that's what I'm saying I can't I couldn't not be that person I just um it's being real yeah and so like you should go don't don't edit yourself no definitely don't

want to edit myself but I can't I need to find a way to not entertain the, the people who are like coming for me. Like if people come for me, I, instead of like clapping back and me being the asshole that I think is funny, which I mean, it is funny, but I don't really mean the things that I'm saying. I just am saying it because I don't know how to respond to it without, I don't want to be angry. So I just like clap back with something funny so I can make it humorous because that's what I do.

I avoid all of my emotions with humor. That's fine. I do that too. But, you know, I just need to find this balance where I can respond more maturely with like being able to just like extinguish this whole fire that they're trying to make happen. Who's they? Anyone who comes for me. I mean, there's just people who do. You know, like you said, you speak

your mind. Whenever I speak my mind, there's people who are going to want to speak up too. You will always, to some degree, have a target on your back because you're pretty and you're opinionated and you can be intimidating. And those people in that world will always naturally

make enemies. But you can still like, paradise is a lot different. You're just going to go there. You're going to have fun. You're going to have so much fun. Don't respond to any DMs from guys from the upcoming season. I would never. Please. Literally, I have not responded to any of these DMs.

And I know the game that I'm like playing here. Like this is not smart. Go in there with the, you know, guys are going to want to get to know you. It's going to be my pick. Sure. So don't burn it. But like I say that and maybe women from your season are listening to this and like the advice I'm giving you I'd give to all them. They're not going to listen.

The only person I've ever DMed in Bachelor Nation has been you whenever I was super drunk. There we go. Over the past few years, I don't even know how many times I probably DM'd you. Really? Oh my God, yes. You were my favorite. I was obsessed. Oh, thank you.

I don't know how I feel about that anymore now after this roast sesh. I'm just kidding. I'm not roasting you. It's a girl sesh. I'm a huge Demi fan. I'm here for it. I think we're here to just uncover layers and peel back. I'm here for it.

I respect it and I like it. Have I been too hard on you? Not at all. You see, whenever I do press and everything, it's everyone just like, oh my God, we love you so much. How are you so amazing? Nobody challenges me. It's nice.

No, the press does that, right? They just feed into it. They compliment you, compliment you, be more who you are because you say something crazy. Oh, you're giving me permission to be this outrageous person? Let me tell you more. I can be more outrageous. Do you want more Demi?

I'll give you more Demi. Here we go. That's exactly what happens. They know what they're doing. No, I really like this. I appreciate this. This has been really fun. But yeah, it's always, as soon as guys on the upcoming season,

as soon as the first ones get kicked off, night one, they will slide into all of your DMs and be like, what's up, girl? You going to Paradise? Some of them will be very honest and direct. Some will just be kind of, and listen, if you, you know, Bachelor Nation, we're all a family. Like, you know, I have like,

I have talked to some women from your season. I'm like, hey, if you need help or you need advice or like, you know, I'm selling oils. So it's like, hey, can I send you some of my oils or whatever? But like there, you can tell the difference to someone who's just like giving you a helping hand all the guys from the upcoming season well they don't know shit right so like you the only one who's going to be helping someone you'd be helping them yeah don't reply so let me ask you this whenever paradise is being filmed is that when the bachelor is being aired yeah so i wouldn't even be remotely interested in any of them because you don't know i won't know their personalities um well i mean

you'll be able to tell because i guarantee you what's going to happen you'll know when they get as soon as they leave the show they'll like they'll be deming the dming half of you on their plane right home i see their picture that doesn't mean anything like i usually don't think most guys are attractive until their personalities and their personality changes i mean i am concerned the same way i was concerned i'm i was more concerned women do mature faster than guys uh colton was young so naturally you're gonna have younger women hannah is young so yeah you still have older guys and they'll have but they'll generally i'm assuming be a younger group you'll have more guys who are 26, 27 and that's so concerning

it's gonna be a shit show it's gonna be a bunch of fuckboys trying to get it in on the beach I think it's gonna have remnants of like JoJo's JoJo's season I didn't watch her season there's some good guys from that season I'm friends with a lot of shitty

a lot of fucking shitty dudes who are just like fucking I don't know the guys there came in with their Instagram plan a lot of shitty, what else? A lot of fucking shitty dudes who are just like fucking, I don't know. I wasn't like the guys there are like, they came in with their Instagram plan and they came in with their like, here's what I'm going to do, their influencer plan. And it was very transparent.

And I think, I feel like they're going to, you're going to see that a lot with some of the guys on. I see right through it. I see right through it. Like I can read a person real well. But you know what still go go to paradise have fun be vulnerable go there to fall in love

be open to falling in love be open to getting your heart broken and just remember the best thing to ever happen to someone in the bachelor role is getting dumped the best not in the moment people feel bad for you it sucks it hurts so bad.

I remember whenever I got off the show and they were like, you know, the producers are like, your ending is really good. Your ending's really good. And I'm like, my ending was terrible.

Like, that was so humiliating. That was painful. Like, I was embarrassed. I was rejected. I was like, I don't understand how anyone, everyone's going to be like, wow, that pathetic girl.

She was so confident and she went in there. But you know, whenever it happened and then I watched that episode and I was like, oh my gosh, like I'm humiliated all over again. People were like, oh my God, like they felt protective over me. And I was like, everyone's best moment. I mean, when Caitlin, when I, when Caitlin broke up with me and I felt embarrassed, I've set two time runner up. I just, I was, I felt a lot of me, I felt embarrassed. I was a two-time runner-up. I felt a lot of things, angry, mad.

I couldn't believe that she did all these things. But shortly thereafter, I still had frustrations with how things played out with Caitlin. But there's no denying that her willingness to do that and take me that far 100% was in my best interest from people, you know, people feeling for me and people coming around on me. If she breaks up with me the same way Andy did, or I was like a third runner up, I, I never, I'm never the bachelor, not even remotely close. And so yes, you don't, listen, from a personal standpoint, it sucks yeah like there's no but like just go with it be real be your authentic self let things play out um be funny be vulnerable and you will

potentially be the queen of uh the uh the beach the queen of the beach but like don't have that you can't guarantee that and when you start negotiating with producers about that that's when you get yourself in trouble yeah i mean be be one of the first people on the beach ask for anything that i got whenever i was on the bachelor like i didn't ask to be the first one out of limo i didn't think that was going to happen you know i think that they just knew that you're a star yeah you are you are you are a fun person to watch you are aren't safe keep doing that that's how hannah got to be the best threat that's how you became a fan favorite of the show. And Paradise is your perfect environment

to be a little edgy without being... Because you can't really be the villain the same way you could be the villain in The Bachelorette. There's no interrupting. You're not going to like... No one steals people in Paradise. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Yes, they do.

That's the whole concept. Oh, yeah, like the dates that they get. No, not the same when the bachelor is like, excuse me, can I steal you for a second? They're like, there's the- Well, it's like,

excuse me, can I take you on a date? Even though y'all have been dating for the past two weeks, I'm going to go ahead and ruin this. Let me sabotage this relationship before it even gets anywhere.

I would, I, I, I'm sorry to say this. As a fan, I look forward to seeing you going on a date liking a guy and someone swooping in and seeing you react. Fuck you. Sorry. I want to see how you react.

It's an opportunity for me. It's going to hurt. In that moment, just remember, it's an opportunity. Whatever. It's an opportunity to show how you handle. Yeah, it is. I'm sorry. Yeah.

I don't accept your apology. Yeah, you are thinking like a producer. I don't accept your apology. Yeah, you are thinking like a producer. But just, I'm preparing you, Demi. Like, just remember, think back. I thought about that. You want to like, you're going to want to say and do all these things. But before you do or say anything, just remember, this is an opportunity to like. This is an opportunity.

This is an opportunity. But then do you get too like scripted at that point? You're getting too, like you're thinking too much into it. It's not organic anymore. Be who you are, but don't get, just don't be mean. Yeah, don't be mean. I never know where that line is. Yeah, you do.

You're smart. As another woman in the room, and we can cut this out, but I just want to say, I feel like there's a little bit of mansplaining going on, not to be rude, but I just want to talk about it and see if you feel that. You can roll your eyes. The mansplaining. I'm not mansplaining. I'm explaining as someone who knows how to navigate that world, regardless of my gender.

It has nothing to do with mansplaining. I mean, I have a, we are going to cut this out. I was on my friend HuffPost podcast and their family was like, oh, Nick was mans. I have two people on the HuffPost podcast explaining to me how things went down behind the scenes. And I'm just like, uh-huh. Tell me more about the show I've done four times. So like I'm explaining as someone who's been the villain and then the hero and then went to Bachelor in Paradise and killed it in Paradise so much that I was the bachelor of how maybe someone can have success. Toot toot your own horn.

Yeah, I'm going to fucking explain that. Like mansplaining. I just wanted to bring it up. I don't understand. What do you mean by mansplaining? I'm really not sure what that means. Please, Rochelle, explain. I'm not sure what that means.

Please, Rochelle, explain. Well, I just feel like because you're 23 and you didn't necessarily ask Nick for advice about The Bachelor and you have already been on The Bachelor, but then for whatever reason, Nick, you want to tell her about The Bachelor. I would love to help her about her upcoming opportunity in Bachelor in Paradise, which is different than The Bachelorette.

And being on the show for five weeks like Demi was is a lot different than being on it for like 30 like I was. Or seeing both sides as the lead or the producer. And, you know, I mean, so, yeah. I think sometimes this whole mansplaining concept that comes up and it comes from like women, right, who don't like to be explained things by men um about things they i mean i get mansplaining from like what the fuck do i know

about like a woman's point of view and like certain things i know nothing about and guys trying to explain it to women that i feel like that's mansplaining but me explaining something i have you know i experience it i understand I understand like where you could think like, you know, because I do hate whenever I get the mansplaining thing, like people, uh, I'm younger and I'm like a little girl.

And so it's easy for people to want to guide me and they think that they know more than me and tell more than me. But that's not what I'm saying that you're doing. I think that you're just speaking from experience. And I know that if I was as experienced as you are on this show and I was on it as much as you were, I would probably be speaking the exact same way to somebody else regardless of their age or gender.

I'm just trying to help a friend out. I do think though sometimes when I was 28 my girlfriend, it was the first time I dated someone who was significantly younger than me. At that point in my life I dated somebody either my age or a year younger and there was a lot of there was a problem with me

her thinking I was always condescending. And there was a lot of, there was a problem with me, her thinking I was always condescending. And I think to some truth, I think you can be condescending. I do think sometimes it's impossible not to at least there's a, are you being condescending or is that other person being defensive? And it comes across as condescending because sometimes through experience comes perspective and explaining things. And sometimes people don't like to be explained things by people who are their equals. Right? Like if you're dating someone and someone is, you know, you're dating. So you're equals, you come to each other for advice and vice versa.

But someone, especially someone who's 21 versus 28, there's a lot of things that they've been through. And so like there's a way to do it and a way to not, you can be less condescending, but sometimes it was like, well, I don't know. What do you want? Do you want advice? Cause you're asking me for advice, but how do I give it without not mansplaining or being condescending? It's, I don't know. It's hard because you like, you want to be honest. Um, and you can't like try to be sensitive to someone else's feelings like all the time. Because I think that if you're dating at that point, then you should understand that that person's like not coming for you. And they,

you're just trying to be honest with them and you're trying to help them out. But I do think you have to be like aware of how you word things. Yeah. No, I mean, I, I definitely can always be condescending.

Yeah. I just think it's something interesting to be aware of and talk about. Yeah. I do feel like I'm kind of talking to my dad a little bit. Yeah. I mean, Hey, I'm trying to,

but it's fine. I love my dad. He's, he's the best. I appreciate I do feel like I'm kind of talking to my dad a little bit. Yeah, I mean, hey, I'm trying to help you out. But it's fine. I love my dad. He's the best. I appreciate him the most. I like you. I think you're a cool character. And I think sometimes a lot of people in your position will go to paradise and burn out.

That's not happening. I don't think Corinne thought that was going to happen either. Oh, not Corinne, am I? I'm not saying you are. All right. But I just don't want you to fall into the trap. I appreciate you looking out. Yeah. I think you're going to be I? I'm not saying you are. All right. But I just don't want you to fall in the trap. I appreciate you looking out. Yeah. I think you're going to be a rock star. You should definitely go and you should be the queen. And, you know, maybe, maybe I'm all wrong. Maybe I

don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I think you do. Maybe I'm just the guy who just. I think you know what you're talking about. And I think that you're giving me some great advice and I appreciate it and I appreciate you challenging me I need it I'm taking one for the team here I'm going to get a little heat it's fine I don't think so

I think people will appreciate it everyone's going to be like Demi girl's chill she's a cool hang I want to be best friends with her yeah I'm going to be like

Nick that fucking asshole man you're the worst at me for uh some questions with fans um all right well i'm nick this is my friend demi you may or may not recognize her i don't know if you watch the bachelor oh yeah what's up hey um how can i what what by the way thanks for calling ryan we want more guy callers. We want more questions from guys. So thanks. Thanks for taking one for the team here, buddy. Thanks for listening. No problem, dude. Awesome. Tell me about what's going on in your world. How can we help?

Dude, I don't know. Okay. So I'm about to like graduate college and whatnot. I got a college up in Colorado state, Okay, so I'm about to graduate college and whatnot. I got a college up in Colorado State. But the past couple girls I've talked to, things have gotten somewhat serious in between the point where things really take that leap where I just start committing to my life to theirs. Things just kind of like, there's that disconnect. And I don't know like what what's like been happening like every single time it gets to that point the girls always end up breaking it off and i don't know if i'm just like crazy or what's happening like

how many times does this happen i'm not really sure yeah i'm sure you're not crazy i don't know like this past girl like everything was going great. Met her parents, like, over, like, Christmas and whatnot. And went back to school and continued seeing each other. Like, started, like, hanging out more with her friends and more with, started, like, connecting our lives more. I think that makes sense. And all of a sudden she became, like, busy, I guess. That's what her excuse was. She was like, oh, yeah,'m busy with uh school and work so

she no longer could when you wrote in when you wrote in you said you were afraid people thought you were a fuck boy yeah so I don't know yeah so yeah or they're like uh when I'll talk to other girls that I try like I've dated around and whatnot um but I'll like date with uh other girls and I feel like they'll just like use me and like hang out for like a little bit and then they have like no serious intentions of anything long term like they'll look at me and just like want to hang out and visually for the short term if that makes sense so yeah they just look at me as like a piece that they can just hang out with for like a night or like a weekend

or whatever you're a fun hang yeah but like like annoying where are you meeting these like I want something like serious and then like nothing

like once it gets to that serious point people just like kind of like end it where are you meeting these women Ryan uh school okay

I guess and are these women like 10 years? Are they like your age? Are they like younger? For the most part, yeah, younger. There's been a couple

girls that are older. Like I'm 23. How long are you, how long are these relationships lasting? So the last one was like six months. Okay.

So like, it was like kind of longer and then there was like one before. So it was like six months yeah so like um it was like kind of longer and then there was like uh one before so it was like three months four months actually and that was like two years ago so like i've had like fellows of like long relationships and then like short ones so this last one was like six months that was like that ended like a week and a half ago about okay i'm sorry i think you're gonna be fine right now i'm like i think you're gonna be fine so i think the biggest thing for you to think about you you are you're in a unique point in your life right you're about to graduate yeah yeah i've been thinking about that too like i'm at this

point where i'm about to graduate i can go any direction i want to yeah so that's kind of what can help me get like past it like i'm at this point where i can about to graduate, I can go any direction I want to. Yeah. So that's kind of what can help me get past it. Like I'm at this point where I can choose to do whatever I want with my life. And wherever I think that'll take me. So, yeah, you also. That girl needs to be there. Like I'll be there and then the girl will like. Yeah. Well, I think the important thing too is remember that some of the women you're dating are going

through the same thing you're going through, right? They're at, they're in that point in their life where there's a big, uh, there's a big unknown of like what they, what do they want or what do they, they don't want. So all these people you're dating kind of has, have, have the same questions about their life. And so my guess is there's a little bit of that going on of just uncertainty. My point is I wouldn't take it personally, right? Like at your age, I think the fact that you have these intentions of,

of wanting to be in a committed relationship is a good thing. I think there's a lot of guys your age who have no desire and they just want to fuck around. And if they want to, that's fine. I think those guys should just be upfront right away with the women they're dating at the risk of maybe being fuck boys, but Hey, that's what you are. Yeah. You know? And I think that too, like, um, I think that if you focus on like being, you know, independent in yourself and you make sure that you don't like give your whole life over to these girls. Um, I think that it's pretty sexy whenever someone is okay with or without a, like a partner in their life. And I think that you just need to like focus on doing

you and not sit around and focus on how much you want to be like involved with these girls and like be around them all the time. And remember, like you have a life of your own and don't be like dependent on them. And I think that that'll take you a lot further and you'll be a lot happier. I think that's great. Don't make the, like to Demi's point, I think don't make the mistake of you. You're young, not to sound condescending, but like you're going to figure things out

and don't, don't project these past relationships it's weird because it feels like this is like a very like I don't know almost

point in my life where I feel very alone because like everyone like I'm getting that disconnect from everyone I grew up with I'm like going into my

career and my life now so I'm like starting to get to that point where I'm like it's just me now that's very honest and his DMs are about to fill up with a bunch of girls

yeah seriously listen Ryan when I was your age I feel like that's just it's kind of like difficult to go like down that like by myself so that's like kind of why I'm like feeling the stress you know like this like relationship kind of like stress hitting me

try not to stress out try not to stress out yeah try not to stress out try not to stress out um i think i i've said this before i freaked out when i turned 25 i think that point like your mid-20s is a very uh i think it's i think it's a complicated part for a lot of people because there's a lot of expectations i said this and i think my second podcast when you're younger when 17, 18, you, you're thinking about what you think you should be, right? You're setting all these dreams. I, you know, I don't know what you thought about when you're 18, but you probably thought about what car you're going to drive at 23, 24, what your first job was going to be, how much money you thought you're going to make. If you

were going to get married, all these expectations, you set it yourself at this early age. And now you're at the point in your life where you start figuring out, have I met any of these goals? And the answer is you probably have met none of these goals and that's normal. And so don't get too hard on yourself. You're you're it. It's a different time too.

We don't mature. Yeah. I've never been hard on myself like those guys because like, I'm not, I've always been content, uh, like where I'm at in life like I'm never really like

yeah ever stressed like because of that it's just I don't know yeah it's just like a weird transitioning point in my life

where I think like it'd be nice to have like someone there that I could go through and talk to you and like make these like like have these

conversations at pivotal points in my life with you know have you ever tried just having like female friends to talk to you about this stuff?

Oh, dude, I have tons of them. I have tons of them. But like, they're a dime a dozen at this point, I guess. Well, that's okay. I think the biggest takeaway is don't feel like you need to find a girlfriend right now. I think it is important. I think, I mean, if you meet some girl

and you really like her, go for it. And in the meantime, enjoy your female friends or your male friends. You don't need someone to always Netflix and chill with. Get comfortable and get better at being alone. Because I think at that age, it's very uncomfortable sometimes. You can feel lonely. Like you'll have to like almost break through a little bit to like be okay with not judging yourself for feeling like you're supposed to have someone next to you because i think at that age i did that too it's like well why don't i have a girlfriend or why and then i

was mean to myself i was home and my mom's justin she's like oh why aren't you bringing this chick home for like christmas or like thanksgiving or whatnot you're 23 you should be no you shouldn't be no strong independent man who don't need no woman. No disrespect to your mom, but she's not right. If you meet someone you like, you should bring them home. But like, don't play house. Like, this is not the time to like, you know, try to like someone just so you can bring them home

for Christmas and not feel lonely. And I was their buddy when I, and my first girlfriend, like it was this idea of like, oh, I can't believe I'm single on Christmas. You're 23, dude, go have some fun. And if you're lucky enough to meet a lady that you care about, take it slow with her. Don't feel the pressure to take her home for Christmas. Don't feel like you have to move in after dating for a year because you're both are leases up and you're trying to save money. I mean, chill out, take it slow. And like, you know, in the meantime, enjoy being single, uh, get to know your friends, uh, open up to them and you will like, and just don't force it. I think you're running, you're in that

point in your life where you're going to make the mistake of trying to have a girlfriend and forcing the issue. And you know, this is, I think a really big opportunity for you to really get to know who you are. I didn't, I didn't get to know myself until I was like 28. So if you figure it out anytime soon, you're, you're, you're, you're beating me. So, um, I think it'd be okay. That's what I've like kind of been focusing on. I've been focusing on like the goals that I need to meet every day to like make my own life like successful, like starting from my basics, like sleep when I wake up, my whole schedule, like all that kind of shit.

And then from there, I've just been like trying to build it and like build like who I am, I guess. You sound like an overthinker, Ryan. I'm an overthinker too. Are you an overthinker? Oh yeah.

I think a lot. Yeah, that's good. But like sometimes us overthinkers can, we, uh, we talked about, we can ruminate and we can talk ourselves in circles

and so try not to do that. Yeah. Focus on what's in front of you. What's important. Uh, I would, if I were you, I would almost consciously tell yourself right now, it's not the time to have a girlfriend. You might be surprised what happens, but just let this, this relationship that just ended, let that, let that settle. Enjoy. I mean, man, you're never going to go back to college or maybe enjoy your last bit of college, man. Have some fun. Yeah. You know, you'll have plenty of time in your new job or whatever to meet women. Just focus on Ryan right now. Really enjoy these moments. Some of your friends that you have friends with in college are going to go a different part of your life. Really focus on being present for the next six

months. And I think if you do that, you won't regret it. Well, yeah. Thanks. No problem. All right, buddy. Well, good luck in college. Focus on school. Focus on your job. That's what's important right now. And you'll be surprised when somebody knocks you off your feet.

All right. Thanks, guys. All right, bro. Yeah. Yeah. See you. Bye. Bye.

I called him bro. Felt like we connected. Hi, Sarah. How are you? I'm good. Friday is like 60 degrees, so I'm happy. Where are you calling from? Denver.

Denver. Oh, wow. from? Denver. Denver. Oh, wow. Colorado people today. Colorado up in here. Who's next, Colton? How old are you, Sarah? I'm 27. Okay.

Well, if you date Ryan, you're a cougar, according to Demi. Shut up. How can we help you, Sarah? So I'm calling about my mom, which is awesome that Dems there. This is the mom tie. Wow. So a little backstory. My dad and her separated like almost seven years ago.

Okay. And so like two years after they split up, she started dating somebody. And I honestly never really met him in person that many times. But from what I knew, they had a very or he had a very unhealthy lifestyle. And so pretty much like my mom had a very strong relationship with him. But their hobbies were pretty much just like going out and drinking, which is like, I don't know, the daughter was just kind of like hard to see. And so this guy ended up passing away from like liver failure. So, which was horrible. It was honestly bad, but me and my sister were kind of like,

almost relieved that like he wasn't an influence on her life anymore. So, so she's been single for another, I guess it's been like two years. And this past weekend, she told me she was going on a date. And so I was, you know, just asking some like prodding questions. Oh, where'd you meet him? Blah, blah, blah. And, uh, she said that she was out with her friends and somebody like had walked in the bar and he was basically the guy, you know, when you're out and people come in, they sell like individual stem roses oh yeah so cheesy yeah and like i don't know my perception like i don't want to be super judgmental but like my experience with those people is that like they're like nearly homeless

so um i don't know it's well you know got to respect the grind, Sarah. The grind. She's working. That's amazing. Okay. I just know my mom's past. And, like, she just has this, like, tendency to, like, be attracted to people that she can really help or that need help. But it doesn't really help her. And so my sister and I were pretty, like, honest about her past relationship. And it didn't go over the best.

So I'm just asking advice on how to kind of take this away. This is the story of my life. My mom has always dated men who were no good for her and she thought she could help them. And then it ended up, you know, getting her into more trouble, kind of living their lifestyle, you know, or like adopting to the lifestyle that they were in. Um, and I spent my whole life, you know, trying to help her and telling her like her worth and telling her how much better she is than all of this stuff. And, you know, crying with her

and doing everything that I could. But, you know, as the daughters, it's not our job. Like I had to realize it's not my job to do that anymore. And there's nothing that I can say that's going to help her. She's going to do whatever she wants to do. Like, you know, she's a big girl. It's hard, but it's kind of like you can you can be there for her, for her and like always love her and support her, but you cannot change what decisions she's going to make. So, you know,

just be there whenever she needs you. Don't judge her. Don't be, you know, don't be spiteful to her or anything, but there is nothing you can like proactively do to help her. Like she's going to do whatever she wants at the end of the day. Yeah. I mean, nicely said, Demi. I've got experience. I can't relate. So Demi has a better perspective on this than I do. All I could try to add is just reiterate what she said. And I think you can only when it comes to family, you know, whatever, we love them. We don't always have to like their choices. I can't imagine what it's like to have someone like a mother who's your, at least at some point in life, was your role model and mentor and someone you looked up to to be making choices that you don't think are helping her.

Right. But yeah, just all I can say is don't, don't beat yourself up because like you can't, you can't let it then overtake your life. Right. And then like change, like stress about it. You just, I bet sometimes all you can do is just be there for them when they fall, you know? And that can get a little stressful, but just always be there and love them because she's your mom, you know? And you can certainly share your thoughts if she asks you, you know, be honest with her. I'm assuming you're honest with your mom when she's like, I don't think it's a smart idea, but you're going to do what you're going to do. Yeah. And like you said, like, just be there for her, love her no matter what.

You know, don't, don't feel bad either that you're not doing something about it because there really is nothing you can do. You will waste all of your energy trying to help someone who isn't going to listen at the end of it. Yeah. And I'm assuming that not without being a psychologist, I think sometimes people do that because, you know, if you can fix someone or help someone, the idea is someone needs them, right?

That kind of almost, so just continue to do what I'm sure you're already doing is make your mom feel loved and needed on your end. And maybe that will somehow help a little bit. But yeah, I don't think there's an answer to your question that's going to fix the problem or some magic thing or that's going to be like, oh, you know what you've been doing wrong, Sarah?

Here's what you need to do and all your problems are going to be solved. That's unfortunately probably not, that doesn't exist. So, yeah. You know, it's kind of weird, but like, you know, be've been doing wrong, Sarah, here's what you need to do. And all your problems are going to be solved. That's unfortunately probably not, that doesn't exist. So, yeah. You know, you know, it's kind of weird, but like, you know, be the role model like for your mom, like show her like what kind of woman, you know, make her proud of you. And maybe she'll like look up to you and see what she's doing wrong. And you know, that's, that's all you can do.

And you never know. I mean, the guy who's selling roses on the, you never know. That sounds like honestly a Hallmark story. I could, I could write a Hallmark movie out of that. You know, like the mom who struggled dating and the daughter concerned for her wellbeing thought she was just dating another guy. But this other guy just turned out to be a hardworking guy who maybe fell in hard times and was maybe like in between houses and, but you know, deep down he, he was willing to provide and, and, and, and he, you know, you never know. So have an open mind,

love your mom and go from there. So. Yeah. You rock Sarah. That's beautiful. Why do you have a dog bone on your desk? It is International Women's Day. So this is all, this is all working. Yes. It is. Sorry. Why do you, Nick asked, why do you have working. Yes, good. I just hit the mic. Sorry.

Nick asks, why do you have a dog bone on your desk? I'm curious, too. Well, my dog, she's over here. I was afraid she was going to interrupt, so I was like. You had it ready. Okay. I assume that may be the case, but I was like, is Sarah into, like, dog treats or something? I've seen people eat them. They are technically edible.

I always, like, will see a bag of dog treats, and I think that it's an actual snack, and I'll be like, ooh, blueberry and bacon. What is this? And I'm like, Oh wait, this is a dog biscuit. See, that's funny and relatable, Demi. More of that on Paradise. Oh my God. Sorry, we're coaching her up to own the beach. I hope so. I think you're a shoo-in, so I don't think you have to worry about it. She better go. Oh, thank you.

All right, Sarah, is there anything else we can help you out with? No, just if you know any single people in Denver, I'm in my way. Ryan. Oh, yeah, Ryan. Are you into being a cougar? Would you consider dating a 23-year-old man? No. Okay, I respect that.

Yeah, I respect it, too. Ryan, you guys, yeah. Ryan would overthink. Ryan needs to take some time for himself right now. Yeah, Ryan needs to work on Ryan right now. No, Ryan's going to be fine. We love Ryan. We love Ryan, but we gave Ryan advice to like chill out with the dating.

We're not going to immediately be like, hey, we talked to somebody. So forget everything we just said. We found the one. That would be the equivalent of telling Ryan, the first girl you meet, ask her to be your girlfriend, you know? So we're trying not to do that.

Oh, but you're great. I'm excited to hear her story. Well, best of luck, Sarah. Tell your mom we love her and that she deserves the world. All right.

Perfect. Thank you guys. Thank you. Bye. Do we have anything we want to talk about, Demi? Do you need to promote anything? Do you have any like a t-shirt line or? No, follow me on Instagram.

Follow Demi on Demi, not Lovato on Instagram. Do it. It's good. We have some good content there. We'll do some fun stories on there. For all the people, I'm assuming because you are who you are, we're going to get a little bit of a spike in the audience. I feel like I'm the priest or minister on Easter Sunday or on Christmas who tells the people in the congregation, thanks for showing up today, but we do a lot of good things

on the other 50 Sundays in the year. So come in and take a listen. So for all the people who have tuned in to hear Demi, thank you for listening. Rightfully so. Hopefully you enjoyed this episode. We have some other great episodes. Go back, take a listen. We talk about things like anxiety, depression, body positivity,

how to be funny versus mean. You know, honestly, the only reason I went on this podcast is because this is my favorite podcast. I didn't want to go on any other ones. It's really great. It means a lot. And it's not all like bachelor talk all the time. There's a lot of real life stuff and you're real about it. And you challenged me today.

You challenged other people. Thank you. You get real. I appreciate it. And honestly, you feel like you actually benefited from listening to it rather than like, you know, other podcasts feel like I'm just listening to like trash and I don't feel better about myself. But after years, I feel good.

I feel educated. Well, right back at you. I thoroughly enjoyed watching you this season. I was, I felt you went home too early. Me too. Just because you were fun to watch. And I think you have a ton of potential to be on Paradise and kill it.

Thank you. Be willing to get your heart broken. I'm going to try. Don't go in there locked out of emotion. No, definitely not. I mean, once you get to that point, you got to be all in. Be your authentic self

and sometimes be willing to apologize it from time to time. Yeah, I will. That's okay. Anyways, this has been another episode of The Vile Files. Thanks for listening. Send your questions at asknickatcastmedia.com. The live show, if you're in LA, maybe Demi will be there.

I don't know. You never know. You never know. I feel like Demi might show up. I feel like I want to go. I'm going to give away some of my art that I've been painting. I'm there. I feel like I want to go. I'm going to give away some of my art that I've been painting. I'm there. I have an abundance of

feel free to check out my Instagram on paint therapy. I'm doing some of that stuff. I was commenting on your live whenever you were painting and I was like, paint me, Nick. I was like, paint me in that tree right now. I had to Google paint me like one of your French girls. It's from the Titanic.

I've been getting a lot of those comments. You didn't know what that was? I remembered it, but when it happened. It's like one of your French girls, it's from the Titanic. I've been getting a lot of those comments. You didn't know what that was? I remembered it, but when it happened... One of the biggest memes ever. They will put everything into that meme. Well, anyways, there's been a handful of those on my Instagram. I'm like, what do you mean? I don't have any French girls.

Thank you again so much, Demi, for coming. I really enjoyed it. Demi is a delight, people. There is more to Demi than the Demi that she thought you wanted to see on the show. But we look forward to seeing more of you on Paradise. And maybe you'll come back on the show and maybe you'll be at the live show. Yeah. Thank you for having me.

This was seriously so much fun. I love this. All right. It's a good environment. Yeah, it's fun. We do it right here. fun. I love this. All right. It's a good environment. Yeah, it's fun. We do it right here. Yeah. This is good.

Natural Habits Essential Oils, nhols.com, 20% off. Make it natural. Yeah, I'm excited to try mine out. Have a good week. You're crazy.