The Viall Files - E128 Raja Kumari on Being an Other

Episode Date: May 13, 2020

On this episode of Viall Files the multifaceted Rapper and Pop Star Raja Kumari joins Nick. Raja discusses feeling like an outsider growing up in LA with Indian roots, how she discovered rap through classical Indian music, and about the Brown Renaissance. Raja does not hold back in sharing her truth about dating, marriage, and what she envisions for the future for a multicultural America.   Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: MAGIC SPOON: magicspoon.com/viall EMBARK DOG: embarkdog.com PROMO: Viall GRUBHUB: grubhub.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on everybody welcome to another episode of the vile files I'm your host Nick joined by Rochelle how you doing Rochelle you know I'm hanging in there. Hanging in there. Well, that's all we really can do. We have a great episode for you. My friend Raja Kamari, who is a very talented songwriter, singer, rapper. I had the pleasure of meeting and working with Raja when we hosted the AMA's Red Carpet not too long ago. And she just has such a fascinating background with her music. Born in LA, lives in India part of the year, a strong Indian history. And we have this great conversation about music and just being a melting pot of cultures and tap into different

religious belief systems. but just really fascinating. And I always enjoy conversations with people who, you know, bring different points of view to the table and just create interesting conversations. So, so fascinating to speak with Raja. And again, just an incredibly talented musician who I think has only become more and more mainstream. So it's-

Yeah, she just signed with NAS. NAS. Just signed with NAS, NAS, just signed with NAS. She's been like working with Timberland, like this. Uh, she's a super legit, like,

and when I worked with her at the AMA is like, here I am just kind of this reality TV guy talking musicians. And they're like coming up to her and like follow up boys like, Oh, what's up, Roger? I'm like, Hey dude,

what's up? And so, yeah, she's very well respected in the music industry. And I know a lot of my friends who are much more knowledgeable about music who who found out that we knew each other we're like oh how do you know raja so uh she's very talented but also just a really unique uh you know point of view on just life and culture and what it's like to grow up in an indian family

in la and have strong indian roots but also be around, you know, Americans and just really fascinating. So we really appreciate her having her. So, all right, let's do it. Thanks for listening, guys. Obviously sending your questions at asknickatcastme.com, cast with a K. Always appreciate your reviews on iTunes and sharing us on social. So without further ado, Raja Kumari. How's it going, Raja? How are you doing? Good. How are you doing? I'm good. Thanks for coming on. It's it going, Raja? How you doing? Good. How are you doing? I'm good. Thanks for coming on.

It's been a while since I've seen you. Yes, it's been like a really crazy whirlwind since I've seen you too, actually. It's just... Yeah, the world's literally changed. I met Raja when she was my... You were my co-host. We were teamed up for the red carpet for the AMAs. Yeah, we had a good time.

That was so crazy. I think the one thing I didn't know about doing live television like that, and you helped me through it, is that they're going to constantly talk to you. You have to also listen to other people talking to someone else and hold a conversation with Diplo in person. So it was like, whoa, this is a lot. You did better than I did. I, um, I mean,

that was my first time doing it. Both of our first time we learned from each other. We had, I had fun though. It was good. Uh, it was a great time. I was, uh, I mean, it was, you know, I, I was appreciate them, them hiring me. It was a lot of fun. Obviously you're in the music industry. So like, I felt like you were really carrying me with like, you know, boy comes and you're like hey what's up guys and diplo's like hey how's it going you know raja and i'm they're just like who the fuck is this guy you

know just like standing there interviewing that was a lot of fun but it was it was really really cool to get to know you and and we became quick friends doing it and you know you know since then it's funny because you know i didn't know who you were at the time. I don't like, I'm not the most intelligent music person. I'm just not like if, you know, I'm a top 40 guy just because I'm stupid when it comes to that. But like, since I've gotten to know you and, and put, um, like posted pics with you, I've had a ton of my friends reach out and be like, Oh my God, how do you know Raja? She creates the most insane, dopest music. So I was like, yeah, I felt really cool. I was like, oh yeah, we go way back.

Like, you know, totally. Like I just, I discovered her, you know, like I'm, I'm super like. I taught her to sing, you know, I told her her name. It's all good. But it was just talking to you a little bit. Like when we were on the red carpet, I thought it was just kind of fascinating. And I thought it'd be cool to learn more about you. It's just that you have such a kind of an interesting background.

You're obviously this kind of pop rock star. I don't even know how you would describe yourself. But like you're multi-talented, multi-faceted in the music industry. multi-talented, multi-faceted in the music industry. And then here you are, this young woman who was born in California, strong Indian roots, right? You've become this superstar in India. You're living in India for a big part of the year, but you're still a California girl. And a lot of your music is kind of about this kind of in between two worlds personality and I gotta assume like I gotta wonder if like you know has how has that played an impact on your life and how do you feel

like that's like uh in terms of like kind of being inspiration to like anyone who feels out of touch I mean here I am I'm just a white kid from Wisconsin. I fit right in there. I never felt out of place. And I wonder how has that been for you and has that been kind of inspirational to the stuff that you've been doing? I mean, first, I'm really glad that even though you never felt out of place,

that the music was provocative enough for you to consider another perspective, which I think is part of it. I mean mean for me the new single i just put out nri is like probably the most like blatant um like discussion of this subject you know i always kind of like coded in the music or it's mostly like in my interviews or my visuals but i really went for it in the lyrics like um there's like sorry that my sorry ain't indian enough and america don't love me me because I'm Indian AF you know so which was like a very aggressive thing

to say and you know when I wrote the song I wasn't even planning on releasing it I wasn't like this will be my first single when Nas signs me or anything like that it was just I'm gonna you know write this because I'm suffering from this experience and I feel like I can't say anything because every time I used to talk back in the comments you know obviously you know about this there's no point trying to defend yourself in comments on Instagram or anywhere so I guess this was kind of like my rebuttal for that but it was I mean there's good and bad things like I think when I'm in India I'm so like thankful for growing up in America whether I felt out of place at some times,

it gave me that American kind of like idealism that like pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You know, anything is possible. The American dream is possible for anyone that works hard. You know, that was ingrained in us. You know, and that everyone, you know, not really judging by like the current scenario or what's been going on pre-COVID, BC before Corona or like, you know, what's going on.

But, you know, it's just, it was like, it was interesting to grow up not seeing anyone like myself. You know, I always tell my friends in India that it's really, they're really lucky that they grew up with magazines that had people that looked like them or like the commercials on TV, the moms looked like their mom, you know, or like it looked like them and there's food or like, or like they're, uh, you know, the biggest, uh, holiday is Diwali. Now people know about it because the office did an episode and like, you know, people have started talking about it, but imagine growing up with like something that is as important as Christmas, but like one, there's no day off to everyone thinks

it's like a fake holiday. You know, it's like that kind of stuff was really I think it made me strong as a kid because it was something that I really loved you know where I came from and my family and I just I thought the colors were fun you know I thought like everything was so interesting so why would I leave it behind for something that I didn't think was as colorful you know So I'm glad that America kind of made me that way because I know that there are people all over the world, whether they're Indian or not. I've gotten more messages from people who are not Indian after this song saying that they relate to it.

So being from two worlds is definitely a struggle, but I think speaking about it and just saying just like, just saying it out loud is, is a lot of work in the right direction, you know? Cause I don't think anyone would even put the word Indian in their song. And I just was like, I'm Indian AF, you know?

Oh, totally. I mean, I was, we had fortune Feimster on a while back and she talked about the importance of representation in general, you know, her coming out as a lesbian and

how representation matters and again I think that's something that's often lost on people who you know identify with mainstream culture right we take that for granted you know I grew up you know Christmas you know Easter you know and it's just like yeah we did both of those though we had we had hindu christmas and hindu easter we did it sure but i just i've never appreciated i think until like getting to meet people who um identify with a minority group whatever that whatever that's their ethnicity whether it's their sexuality, whatever, you know. And then what that might be like, you know, did you ever feel like growing up? I mean, you have a great perspective on it now. But were there ever times where you felt like afraid to put out who you were, right?

Did you hold back who you were? And when you say like, I'm other people who aren't Indian or relating, I'm assuming that's why because Cause like being able to identify with feeling like an outsider is a very common thing. It doesn't matter why you feel like an outsider, but a lot of people do. And I'm just wondering, like, did you, did you ever struggle with that? And what helped you kind of get the confidence to be where you're at now? Yeah. I mean, I think every kid feels like that. Whether it's like, you know, I think everybody has that experience. But for me, I guess it was a little bit different because I'm an Indian classical dancer.

So I did a lot of touring as a child. So like in Indian classical dance, we do like all these hand movements. So we paint our hands red and we do the henna. So like I used to tour a lot. And so like when I'd come home for the shows it'd be like fading so like i would have to explain like they think it's like a hand disease or like you know i had to like really wear my culture a lot in a lot of ways so there was

definitely like i had two lives like there was one life where i was like the super celebrated classical dancer child prodigy so it's like i'm not allowed to not be proud of that, you know? I'm, like, touring, and, like, the governors are giving me awards in India. So it's like, we're not allowed to pretend that that is not legit, you know? And then I come back to America, and then I find myself, I found myself wanting to hide those things. Because, like, even, like, the Indian boy in my class was, like, in love with the blonde-haired blue-eyed girl.

So it was like, there was there was no like place for me I didn't know where I belonged or like how to feel beautiful but I'm you know I definitely dyed my hair I definitely wanted blonde hair for some weird reason even though that would never look good on my skin um I did I dyed streaks I didn't do and then my school actually now that I'm thinking about this, I remember my girlfriend, my best friend, she was an Italian girl. She had gotten blonde streaks and I went with her and I also did it and the school made me put my hair back because they said it wasn't natural.

Yeah, actually, I remember that now. I forgot about that. But yeah, things like that, things like that would happen. That's fucked up. Yeah, but I think at some point i just um because the love for the dance was so intense and because i knew that it was so well respected and celebrated i wasn't allowed to call it lame or i wasn't allowed to like throw it to the side and at some point i was just like you know if this is a thing that makes me love my culture

makes me love myself gives me confidence i wish more people would dance Indian classical dance so it was like this really simple idea like okay why is no one I can only get to like an audience of 400 or a thousand let's say on a really great day you know but these pop stars that I'm worshiping you know in American pop culture are affecting millions of people in one appearance and I was like man what kind of people in one appearance. And I was like, man, what kind of platform is that? Oh, pop music. I was like, oh, maybe I should make pop music and somehow put Indian classical dance there and like make, we need an Indian pop star. And if we have an Indian pop star, then maybe some little girls who didn't have their connection

to India will still love themselves. You know, maybe they didn't have that out that I had, you know, but that's, that's just been the goal. So it's definitely been like that for life, but luckily I, I, um, God has given me all the tools to deal with it and help me be fearless in my music. And I know it's affecting the kids. So I'm glad because I know the future, these, these little Indian girls are going to be fine. They can be okay. Magic spoon. Well, I got to tell you, growing up, cereal was one of the best parts of being a kid. I truly loved it. It was an epic moment every morning when I would have cereal and fight it with my 100 other siblings. But I'll tell you what, I've been trying to cut down on carbs, sugar, unhealthy food,

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get the information you expect to get from a breeder. And again, if you rescue your dog, God only knows who they are. So great to find out about them. So right now Embark has an exclusive offer just for our listeners. Go to EmbarkVet.com and use promo code V-I-A-L-L to save 15% off your dog breed and health kit. Visit EmbarkVet.com and use promo code V-I-A-L-L to save 15% today. EmbarkVet.com and use promo code V-I-A-L-L. Do you feel like kind of Indian culture is one of the more kind of misrep, not misrepresented, but unrepresented kind of cultures out there, especially in America? Yes. Yes. Why do you, why, why do you think that is? I mean, I, I, I've had Indian friends growing up, you know, I've been to a couple of Indian

weddings. Awesome. By the way, some of the most fun weddings you can go to, but I've always, you'll hear that from them where they uh kind of it's just it just it seems really really mis unrepresented well i mean first off we're less than one percent of the population in america so it's you're going against something like i mean we are one seventh of the population of the world one out of every seven people is indian so like you bet definitely know someone because there's seven billion we've 1.4 billion so a lot of people are here you know but i think in america also america you know we're only like what 200 how many years 207 256 i don't do good math between between two and three hundred yeah somewhere we're like that was better 1774 i

did know that though so you guys are getting mad at me um but yeah around 300 years i mean there's houses that are older than that in the uk right so indians have been going to london for so many years that they're like fourth generation so like it's more part of the culture you know you see indians in the magazines you see them on tv you see tv shows that are about indian people families, like a full family unit that's Indian. And, you know, you have a BBC Asian network. Now, this is because we're at the third, fourth generation. Now, I'm a first generation born in America. My parents came in the 70s, because there was actually a law prior to that, that banned immigration from Asia, like South Asia and Asia. And it was lifted in the 70s, like late 60s, early 70s. And basically there was like a calling out for all the engineers, doctors, highly leveled, like those kinds of

people. So my dad was a very, he was like the number one in his class and was really a well trained doctor. Also, he came from nothing. He was extremely poor. And then he basically was number one in his class. So he got a scholarship and was able to study so because of this in the 70s there's this whole wave of people doctors engineers like those kind of educated people that came to India I mean came to America so they had their kids and now that's us so I'm saying maybe by now we have shows like Never Have I Ever on Netflix that just premiered that's like full indian cast which is crazy because usually you'll just see one indian person and they're a nerd or they work at the swishy mart or you know there's something they're usually a nerd like um on big bang theory but they never let two indians kind of be together like um if you'd see

like uh on priyanka chopra on uh with uh what was the show oh my god i'm horrible right now uh um quantico boom got it quantico yeah i did i did a commercial with her i was i did it you know she was on like you know buses and stuff and it's the first time we'd ever seen that but even in that show she was half white her dad was american and um she's only connected with american people so it's like you can they never like have that in the west yet i mean in america yet but i believe um the work that we are all doing is going to change that and by we i mean like the brown renaissance hassan minaj aziz ansari mindy kaling me purna you know everybody the musicians like you know nav is indian musician i mean just by existing we're changing that you know so um i think you know when i grew up you know obviously we don't

have any box to check it's just like other so like i'm like hoping that like south asian comes up soon and then you know we get to like i think the only way we're going to change those things is by becoming more prominent, more prominent in culture. Can you write a song called Being an Other? And like what that, could you imagine? Like, I couldn't imagine. I mean, not that like Caucasian is that specific, but like other, other, I'm an other. Like not even, they didn't, they had all kinds of like, I used to always think, am I supposed put pacific asian islander it says asian and they're like no that's not you that's not you you're you're an other yeah i've been other this whole time so that's you know that's something

that i think when that evolves you know i i would love to see indians play different types of roles i mean that's what i'm doing i'm playing a role that's different. I'm not a doctor on CNN telling you something. I'm like a rapper. So I'm changing the roles too, as it goes. Would you consider yourself more of a pop star or more of a rapper? I don't know. I guess they keep telling me I'm a rapper. So I keep rapping. And then I just signed a Nas. So I guess I'm a rapper. But hell yeah. I think pop star to me, I guess, is the whole other half of it. Like the production. Like right now I'm in a very rare form. But like, you know, this has been me in quarantine.

This is quarantine aversion. Yeah. Pop star is kind of like the melting pot. Like, yeah, you can be a country singer and a pop star. You can be a rapper and a pop star. Like you can't be a pop star and then, a pop star like you can't be a pop star and then you know like you can just be a pop star too but like you have some that's different you know that's like i know exactly what you mean by that yeah i'm definitely a pop star for india because

they don't have anyone like me and i do pull up and there's people carrying my cape behind me because we don't want it to drag so i think that's the characteristic of a pop star if someone has to carry a piece of your clothing then you're like okay. So in terms of like writing your music or developing your music, what are some of been your like favorite musicians and inspirations in terms of like, what do you think? Yeah. Like if you were to look back, like, well, who do you think you really kind of modeled your work after and how much has been kind of a melting pot from your Indian culture versus like what we've heard here in the States? Yeah, you know, I think the Indian culture is just like the foundation.

Because I think like when I started as an artist, like as a classical Indian dancer, I learned about music through that. So I would tour with like an orchestra with like six instruments. So I had a very intimate relationship with like drums and hearing flute instruments and strings and dancing and using my body as a drum. So I feel like that's where the rapping came from. Let me demonstrate something. So like in Indian classical music, we have these things called tals. They're jatis. And so they're like rhythms.

They don't mean anything they just have they symbolize like the the the footwork or the patterns whether it's like um okay like that's one two three one two three one two so my feet work would go like that's if i was dancing so they have these things that are like this okay so i would learn these and so i i realized very early because i i was really obsessed with like ancient you know history and stuff and african culture and tribal culture and i think the first time i really heard rap music like when it really got me like i'd heard whatever was pop culture but i think lauren hill was the first one that like affected me in my soul, like 100%, rewired me.

Yeah, she gave me full guidance. I mean, one day I'll meet her and I'll explain to her, you know, what she did for me, you know, be my musical mother. But she just gave me this, like, I felt accepted, you know, talking about being other.

I didn't feel like an other when I listened to the Fugees because it was like somehow all of the rhythms made sense for me like everything i had learned as a classical dancer somehow still fit in rap and i felt like hip-hop would be like this language that i could express myself it wasn't of my parents era it wasn't what my brothers liked they were like into punk rock and and like like heavy metal and it was like this this thing that was just mine, you know?

So I started figuring out that classical music worked like rap. So demonstration. It's from one of my songs. Dalang, gutaka, dikutaka, tadengina, tomraja, kumari, dorda, of the king. How long you think that you could keep up with my tempo? Dance to the rhythm, dance in the Himalay. Ain't hearing what they say. Dina, dina, heart beating like the bass. Heart beating like the bass say heart beating like the bass heart beating like the bass

heart beating like the dance to the rhythm dance in the Himalay ain't hearing what they say heart beating like the bass Raja, I can't even pronounce my sh's very well and you're just all like you're all just like dropping some mad uh that's really that's very good you're very talented oh but do you see what i'm saying like i've kind of like unlocked that and for some reason i thought that was like a superpower kind of thing i was like i figured out something no one else knows

is that we've been rapping for thousands of years so there was just something like that connected for me and i stopped having to be like i don't belong here i need to be like someone else it was like no you need to be an indian superhero pop star like that's that's very cool um yeah i mean it's it's always kind of fascinating when we kind of like go back to our roots and kind of discover things about ourselves and kind of gives us the confidence to embrace certain things that maybe we pushed away or didn't embrace in the past. So that's pretty cool. And like I said, it's really neat how kind of inspirational I'm sure you are to all people and specifically, obviously, you know, young, young Indian people. Yeah,

it's, it's fascinating. How do you, how does that kind of affect your, your own personal life in terms of you mentioned, you know, growing up, even the Indian boys, like the blonde hair, blue eye. Things have changed, baby. Things have changed. Now that you are going to out there, you know, I don't, I don't know what your relationship status is. Are you, are you dating someone single? Okay. Do you feel, do you feel a pressure being kind of this person of like ending up with an Indian man or versus like a total white boy? Or like,

do you feel any pressure in terms of your fans and what that's like? Oh, I feel 100% pressure from my parents. That's like a hard press. Like they're like on it. They think I'm 12 years overdue for my marriage. So that's how they feel. So they feel like basically until I get married, then like once I get married, my dad will retire.

That's how he feels. His job will be done um and um you know I I've uh I've I've you know I've been in America for a long time I've I've you know had I have friends from all different types of cultures and things and I don't know I'm not saying uh that you'd have to be Indian you know I I think like I think people if somebody was able to like be there for me in the way that I need but I think I am slightly obsessed with um with uh you know maintaining culture and like for and preserving it uh for the future because I think a lot of people are not preserving it and I don't want to I want to make sure that it keeps going so I think that that might be easier

with an Indian husband but who knows I could get uh like a a white husband that's like i have a phd in sanskrit and then like they know more than me because like my first teacher in college was a white guy named brian and i was like how does he know more than me about ancient indian history and i was like i have to change my major so i mean i'm i'm open to anything right now but i definitely i mean i feel like i want to live it i'm it's going to be hard to marry me unless you like kind of are in india because i want to be in india half the year and you know unless you are nick jonas i mean hey if there's like a nick jonas number two out there that wants to pull up on the world tour yeah the other yeah the other jonas brothers are all the jonas brothers are married we're done with the jonas's but you

know yeah just same kind of vibe yeah that's that done with the Jonas's, but you know. Just saying. Same kind of vibe. Yeah, that's got to be tough to have that. I appreciate the pressure you might feel. And it sounds like it's more something you've put on yourself and less from a fan standpoint. Oh, this is therapy. Are we ready? Yeah, it is.

It is definitely. No, it's definitely. I think I'm just ready you know it's so funny like now we're in this post-corona world i read this article and it was like we're not gonna have festivals till october 2022 maybe they were saying possibly and so i just i'm coming off of doing festivals with 25 000 people in the middle of arunachal Pradesh that only came to see me in the middle of India. I'm coming off of the biggest crowds I've ever

done and then to think that I'm not going to see them again for two years makes me feel like I should get married and have a baby right now and then I'll be done. Then I can go back to work in two years. Crazy how women have to think. Yeah. I need a husband. Yeah. Whoever wants to make that happen well people obviously we're staying at home obviously uh we wanted to stay at home as

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How are you? How are you? I mean, are you like so? But in all seriousness, are you like you DM guys? How do you do online date? Try to get on the dating like apps like I've tried to do this thing. It's kind of been troubling. One, I like I put like pictures that are not pop star version.

But then eventually, like when I was in India, eventually they'd be like, this is you or this is a catfish page and then one guy i like he recognized me he was like i saw you in san francisco and i was like ah cancel abort abort um and then my parents were kind of like getting me they want me to be on this like millionaire matchmaker type thing oh no but i mean like i'm actually because like if i'm already trying a like online dating then what's the difference because at least these guys will be aware of what I do in my career we don't have to lie to them then they can judge on their own because a lot of Indian men are like patriarchal to the to the tea and like one of the things that happens a lot in Indian culture is that the man will marry the woman and then they want them to stop working they'll be like oh that's great you did that was I want I liked you because of this but now you're

done so sit down you know that's what happens in a lot of horror stories so that's like the thing I always tell my parents I'm like I'm not gonna sit down you know so this this person has to have like you know see everything and decide you know if they're okay with that because Indian people are crazy my parents would call me and be like, you posted one picture about two weeks ago, and your shirt is very low. And I'd like to remove that photo. And I was like, Dad, I'm signed to a major label in America, Dad, please.

If I give the, I didn't, I had pants on, right? I didn't have a skirt. I'm like, you got to give up one thing. And so my new video, I have like a turtleneck, a sari, but there's a thigh slit, and saris don't have a skirt. I'm like, you got to give up one thing. And so my new video, I have like a turtleneck, a sari, but there's a thigh slit and saris don't have thigh slits. Like we're like being ridiculous and like, like remixing it in the way that like upsets some people. Cause it's like my whole leg is out.

So like he only saw clips of the top. So they didn't have to see in the video. And then I get this call after it premiered and they're like, I know why you didn't show me the video before it premiered and i was like dad i'm wearing a turtleneck you promised we have an exchange turtleneck means i get the leg you know so it's a struggle that no one thinks about our rate like uh i've uh i have a friend indian and uh we did some comedy stuff together already in a class i did. And he kind of talked about, you know, the arranged marriage aspect that his parents are kind of almost still

pressured. Is that a thing? My parents met for like seven minutes and got married. So like it happened for them, but they're like extremely happy. Like they're like probably the success story of arranged marriages. How it works now is kind of like the matchmaker thing. So it's basically like the parents will talk to each other they'll decide that they like each other so he's like a pre-approved boy that i don't have to go through bullshit with later and then i meet him and i can date him and

i can decide that's a modern arranged marriage it's like a pre-approved boy but you you like they try to set you up but but it's still it's still your call yeah it's still your call i mean in the modern way there are definitely arranged marriages happening in the villages in india with no you know the girl is just in indian marriages you get married you put your hand on each other's head like this it's like this thing where you become one in the moment and there's a there's a piece of fabric between you okay in the olden days so you would do this and then they would pull the fabric out and you'd look at your husband for the first time like

that's how indians get married wow why do you why do you think your parents first you get married then you fall in love that is how they say that's wild why do you think your parents have been the success story that they have like what's worked for them? Because like, obviously it's kind of this crazy thing, very unrelatable, obviously to American culture, but there's gotta be, you know, listen, there's pros and cons to almost anything. Right. And so I'm curious, like, what are some things based off of that have allowed your parents' relationship to flourish or that is get super lucky? No, I mean, one, they're lucky, but but two i think that it's like a generational difference i feel like my dad was 25 when he married my mom to 20 25 she was 22 no 26 and 22 so and for her she was old by the way they were because she was the like the oldest of her sisters

when by the time she got married at 22 they had gotten married like 17 19 20 you know and that was in the uh the 70s like the 60s they were doing that right um i think that i wonder now i struggle with this like as i try to like get into a relationship that i'm looking for that i like actually get married from you know is like does marriage mean the same thing anymore i think like when my parents got married there was no internet there was no options constantly there was no dms there was no like outside perspective also there's like this like respect for marriage that was like installed and then they just had each other like they got married in the 20s and then they like went to america alone so my dad had a job in chicago and so my mom went from india to the coldest winter on record in chicago and they just had each other. And she told me she

didn't quite enjoy her first year of marriage. But then after that, I mean, like, they're like obsessed with each other. But I think it's just kind of like making a decision and sticking with it. And I don't know if that's like, in our culture anymore, like not our Indian in our culture in our like, you know, in the 2000s vibe, like don't know i would hope that could be that way but i don't know yeah you're you make a great point and honestly i'm i think about it and i'm on the fence too right like i grew up in a very traditional family and i love my you know i've said this before i love my family i loved my childhood i i love the values and the Christian values that my parents raised me on that I still hold dear to my heart. And, you know, and, you know, now with me too, it's just like, I kind of say like, I know I still very much want to be a father, you know, I really want to have a

kid and I want to have a family and I want to fall in love. But the marriage and the traditional sense for me is not, that's not at the top of the list. I'm down. I would like to get married. I'm simply just saying that if I fell in love with a woman that had non-traditional points of view on marriage, that would be like, okay, whatever. Whatever makes you happy. There's no room for that in my life.

I'll basically be canceled from my family if I don't get married in the next few years. Wait, seriously? Even with all of your success? Oh, my success is nothing. Nothing? Is nothing. With your parent? Do your parents not necessarily?

They'll just be like, yeah, that's great. But you know, your eggs, there's only so many left, you know? Like part of me is like why do you like if you get to a certain point of like success and independence like do you still care so much what they because i think that's how our culture is we're like very like we don't in our in culture like your parents live with you like you know like not like not now but like when they're older like if it was only your mom left she would live with you you don't like you don't put your parents away and stuff like that and like it's just like very much involved like until i'm married i'm a kid i'm a child until it's it's so weird because it's so patriarchy but it's like until my dad passes the the responsibility to another man

he thinks can handle it then he'll chill wow this is called kaniyadan we literally like he does this thing where he like gives that like he gives an offering and then the bride is brought in a basket let's not even get into it the bride is brought in a basket carrying a coconut we're not going to get into the details of how ridiculous some of this stuff is but so so like you said it's obviously very patriarchy uh like are you like i'm just and i'm just thinking out loud. Do you like, do you consider yourself a feminist? Well, I mean, I think so. I think, I think anybody that, that believes women should have equal rights is a feminist. So most men I know are also feminists, you know?

Yeah, no, I agree. I'm just, I'm just kind of curious. Like it's, it's, it's a fascinating to hear you talk about like this allegiance and loyalty and understanding, which again, I think is great to your culture and past. And like, again, it really kind of goes along with what you're all about in terms of finding the balance between your history and like kind of progress, right? Mixing your American culture with your Indian culture, finding the good things that come from things about your past, but also not being pressured and shamed into doing things that you're not comfortable with. Yeah. Like my parents didn't keep all like the horrible things. They kept just

the best things, you know, and how they raised us. And I told my dad the other day that he raised me like a man, like in the ways that he let me do whatever I wanted and follow my passion. And he was like, I didn't realize I had done that. I that I was like yeah you did not raise me like an Indian girl because in like some like even in cousins like other houses like other families amongst my my middle my extended family I remember like the boys got rollerblades but the girl couldn't like that happened and in like our own families in America and that never happened to me I was out there I mean they didn't let me do like a lot of sports um one because they don't like to let girls go in the sun which is another effed up thing that comes from indian culture about the dark thing so and the other one was that i was a classical dancer so they were always worried i was gonna break a bone so they were just like nope you stay

inside and dance that's it dance all day girl you know wait so wait they don't want you to go in the sun because they don't want you to get tan and be too dark yeah like i could only go to raging waters uh to water park what i think i was only allowed to go like two times in the summer and my friends would have like the season pass my mom would be like nope too dark can't go back out wow it's not like it's not like a thing that like she hates it's just that like india has made these like like the patriarchal things you're asking like oh to be such a strong feminist like icon in some ways in india and then be like i just want to be as like a pati vrat which is like a subservient wife but i don't know i guess some of that stuff kind of is in me like i do want to be like that like a good wife and i do want to i definitely want kids and

yeah i mean yeah listen there's nothing wrong with that i listen i'm i'm a i love balance i don't know if that's because i'm a libro or whatever the fuck but um i uh i love i'm not a traditional person but there's some traditions i like and i again like i i'm not the person necessarily i thought i would be at 15 or 16 but um and I think sometimes that's where people struggle. Like, you know, I've, um, in past episodes, I've obviously, you know, I've been very opinionated about, uh, certain people's actions, especially when it comes to like, you know, identifying as Christians and I've gotten like, but I'm still very much a proud Christian, you know, and I struggle with my faith, but like, sometimes people like, it's's like they don't like

it's like it's very black and white sometimes it's like you're either with us or against us and it's just like well i'm with you but like i don't agree with every anything kind of thing and and sometimes it is a challenge to try to marry uh no pun intended like you know different belief systems um you know something crazy though about what you just said that's so interesting is you know how the extremists are going to be like, it's either black or white. You're either with us or against us.

When they push you out of that circle, the rest of us who are pushed out of our circles are all together like, hey, we're just a community and we're all going to be together. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jewish people. We all love each other

because we have an understanding of universal love, you know, and not being like, that's the balance. Because like a lot of i get a lot of flack in india because my my artwork is hindu centric you know it's very like visually hindu which is something that i always wanted to do growing up in america because it was absolutely just not even existent you know so that's why i'm hyper hindu with my visuals why it's like all like goddesses with crowns and like just this intense stuff and then i went to india the place where i thought would be the safest for that and i get like hit with like hindu supremacist

stuff which i never expected in my life hindu supremacist like even this tattoo like i got this recently and i got it to be a balance between the feminine and the masculine. This is the lotus, which is a symbol of the thousand petaled lotus, which is your crown chakra. And the trishul is the symbol of Shiva. It's like a weapon.

So, and it's basically Shiva does this dance. It's called the Tandav. And when he dances, it's either destruction or creation. So when I was on stage, I had this insane show. And people were like, I was headlining for the first time. People were like pouring in. It was like this really crazy like bowl kind of space like out in the middle.

It was this big festival. And I just remember the power I felt. And I went and got this tattoo because I was like, okay, from the universe goes through my thousand petaled lotus and turns into a weapon. And then I can just get mofos on stage. People go crazy because in India, this is like the Trishul is a symbol for one Hindu supremacist. Like there's like if I call him Hindu supremacist, I'm going to get in trouble on the other side. There's two political parties in India that are highly Hindu centric. We'll use the proper words because Indian people will come eat my soul.

And the symbol one for one of the symbols, this and for one of the symbols, this, but these symbols are thousands of years old. They belong to all of us, but I get a lot of crazy flack that they say like, Oh, I'm like repping them.

Like as if it's basically, they're trying to say I'm wearing a MAGA hat is what they're trying to say. Oh yeah. I mean, listen, and you go from being a minority here to being like, they're trying to say i'm wearing a maga hat is what they're trying to say oh yeah i mean listen and you go from being a minority here to being like now i kind of get that like what it is to be like how you're saying i'm white christian and i don't know the box it's like in india being a hindu is like that though you know and so you have to be careful and considerate of what's going on with all the minorities there which is like the muslim population in some situations and

you know there's a large christian population there that that also goes through things you know so i bet you didn't know there was christians in india uh i guess i never thought about it but if you would have asked me are there a lot of christians in india i would have been like absolutely you know i didn't i didn't think about it like that i knew that they were converts because i knew like i had friends growing up that were like, were named English names like Maxine and stuff like that. And I was like, how did you get that name?

And Matthews was the last name. So there's a lot of Christian population in South India because, you know, there was actually Christianity in India before Europe because it was easier. Yeah.

You go and dig into that. You'll find out more about that. But the craziest thing I learned about was the Catholic population, like in Bombay. There's like this whole thing where they love jesus and mother mary but it's crazy for me because i studied religion so it's just like instead of it being krishna or shiva or like in hindu god it's jesus but he has the same garlands that you'd put on an indian god

and they're still lighting the candles we all like candles you know so it's like oh it's like hindu jesus so i kind of really i have fun with hindu jesus i love hindu jesus he's like my homie is it because of all the missionaries that sure yeah there's a lot of missionaries but i'm saying that there's just a culture because basically the portuguese there's so much the portuguese had um had colonized uh part, Bombay and that area of India. So there was a lot of, there's just this whole like going Konkani. There's a whole like culture of people that they can even,

I think if they're grandparents or something, they can still get Portuguese passports. Like that's how serious it is. But that's where a lot of the Catholics come from, is that area. But that was new for me. I was like, whoa, what is this? Yeah, there's one thing I've learned about people in general,

like regardless of what part of the world you're from, what religion you practice. Listen, especially if we're passionate about anything and we identify with them. Even people who are music fans. Music fans, the Beehive, Taylor Swift fans, very passionate people. And often that comes from like this place of like, if you find something that inspires you and that you feel like has helped you, you want to protect

it. And sometimes, you know, it comes from a good place. Sometimes you react to things and you get defensive about it. But it all comes from a place of like you react to things and and and you get defensive about it and but it all comes from a place of like wanting to be liked and wanting to be loved and wanting to be right about your belief systems and it it can hurt when people are critical of what you believe in and you get defensive and then you react and and you know it's kind of the you know how i got around that and i don't know if you're going to be able to do it because you've already put out your real life face out there. I made a character.

Like Rajkumari is a character. So it's like no matter what people say, like basically my classical dance, all Indian classical dance is recreating like mythological stories of the gods. So like you'll be like Radha or you'll see Krishna or you'll see all these different characters. So I played very, very powerful goddesses at six years old, like demon slayers, like literally slayed demons,

like killed demons, you know, it happened. And I made this character based on all the powerful women that I had played. Wow. Whenever somebody has something to say about like Raja Kumari, I'm just like, fool, you fool. I look down upon you. But then like as a human i pay attention to the things they say but i try not to let it hurt my feelings yeah it's tough i mean like i don't that's the thing it's for me you know i'm probably best known from playing myself on tv and so

like yeah i mean and especially i think the podcast, I try to be, I just try to be myself. And I think in a positive way, that's allowed people to get to know me in a more intimate level than, say, watching on TV. But I don't really have, like, this is kind of who I am. I don't really have an alter ego. I might be a more heightened version of myself. Like, you know, especially like'll i'll uh well i'll cover the bachelor i'll give commentary or points of views on you know cast people and then you know that i saw some like news article went by it was like nick has got his his opinion on this character and i was like i

don't even watch the show but i'm getting this news it's like your commentary is like coming through my news feed i was like yes i mean like the the truth the truth is like on a daily basis i don't give a shit right but like if you're gonna ask me my point of view as it relates to a topic that we cover like i've become a pundit as far as the show goes and you're you're allowed to speak you know and like you know we all get defensive i i get it but um it is it is what it is. But yeah, religion is a funny thing. Faith, I don't think you can argue that faith could ever...

Faith is a beautiful thing. Faith in whatever you believe in is beautiful. But the reality is religion can be both beautiful and it's been toxic and it's been misused and it's been abused. And that is the human element in us. You know, humans do that. Like we as humans don't, we all get it wrong. My favorite thing is, well, my least favorite thing, you know, only God can judge us. And I'm like, great. Well, that's actually totally not true. We all judge people as humans. Now God's opinion might be the only one that matters. You know's opinion might be the only one that matters.

It might be the only one that matters, but we definitely judge. And the reason why we get defensive about being judged is because it hurts our feelings. We want to be liked. And sometimes I think we get insecure when other people judge us because I think we wonder like, well, what if God thinks the same thing type of thing, right? I never thought of it like that. That's probably why it hurts us, yeah. You know, but listen, it comes from a good place, right? Like it comes from people just wanting to support what they believe in. And we invest a lot as humans in our belief systems because it gives us a sense of purpose.

It sometimes goes back to our first memories. Our first bonding experience with our parents is often religion, you know? And that's just... I think like religion, I think religion has become such an interesting word in our current state. Like if I feel like if I say spirituality,

people don't get triggered. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like I can tell you like, okay, those that are spiritual will feel this way but if you talk about religion then you talk about the rules and the dogmas and the fights and all of a sudden it's hindu versus muslim and it's all of a sudden all these things which is like so troubling i used to say um when i was a kid i used to be like you know i feel like religions are like

languages of love like if i spoke spanish would you hate me but so how can god hate me for speaking a language that was culturally taught to me because of the area I grew up in? And I wrote this song when I was like 18. And it's actually the first song I wrote that I was like, oh, I think I'm supposed to make music because people don't just write things like this. And it's called Salvation.

And the lyrics are, if you want salvation, why segregation over divine inspirations? Revelations are just the words. God answers every prayer heard. So it's more like instead of like killing yourself over like what's in the book make yourself a reflection of god by being godly by being nice to people by being giving by positive energy and then god will hear your prayers and they'll be answered instead of fighting each other being like you're singing in this language and i'm saying in this language i i mean i just that's just i mean that's me hoping the best for the world you know that's what i try to put out there but totally yeah

and like i said the only the only god can judge us i think we're just listen especially if you believe in an afterlife it's a scary proposition you're hoping that whatever you're doing is right and you have this human elements to you and you know people humans will fight back and forth about who's more right meanwhile god's up there being like i'll let you know when you die you know i will be here i'm keeping track i will be here to give you you know i will be with the nubis and we will weigh that heart we will find out it's like i'm god i God. I already know. You're not convincing me. I know. But as humans, we just want to be heard

and we want to be right. And I think we just get, it's fear. It's fear of being wrong, fear of being judged by others. It's so people, that's the thing. We do judge each other. It's very human in us to judge people. Yeah, it is. It is.

And it's crazy because I'm like, we're talking about these things and I'm like, I'm not trying to plug my music over and over again, but you keep saying stuff that I'm like, wait, I wrote a lyric about this. But you know, in the song NRI, there's this part of it where I'm singing

and I was like, do you even know who you are? Tell me what are you made of? What you afraid of? Hey, duhater cuz I let you tear me apart show you what I am made of is this what you're afraid of hater and it's like dude I let you fucking tear me apart and at the end I'm still there so did your hate matter you know and who are you and you're mad at me for being for being oh using indianness as a as a as a uh a gimmick or putting it on i'm like bro what are you doing for the culture you know i know it's tough but also i do but i do think there's a

difference between criticism and hate right i think and sometimes people get very very confused between the two no no the hundred, 100% is criticism and hate. Hate is like, you're fat, Buffalo. And criticism is like, hey, the second verse could have been better. And you're like, noted, thank you. No, or it's just like, I don't agree with this. But like, I still love you.

And I would love to talk to you. But hate is just like, you're not willing to listen and you're not willing to talk you just want to um i try not to give them value but for some reason i always see them i'm like ah how did i like i was live streaming and like i'll be like performing and i see like one comment it's like you suck i'm like how did i catch that one comment like there's so many people like you are my god you are everything to me it's like you suck buffalo i'm like whoa when did i turn to a buffalo damn homie you know but again it's um we get we just

we're protective of our own and if our you know whatever that is um it's the sometimes misplaced loyalty and it i it comes from a place of love. We just, sometimes our love gets mischanneled and we just have to try to remember that and be open to it. And so, I don't know. That's the goal. That is the goal of life. That is the goal. This has been a very fascinating conversation. I feel like we will continue. I have a, can I do this again? We just do this on FaceTime, just like as homies too, you know, we can do this again? We should do this on FaceTime just like as homies too. I can't wait. We can do this anytime. You know, rip a, you know, anyways.

Rochelle, you guys said you have a question. Well, I just think it's so, I'm fascinated by women who succeed in fields where, not that music is male dominated, but it feels run by men a lot of the times. And I know you just signed with Nas and I just watched taylor swiss documentary it was so interesting i don't know if you saw it but i i've seen half of it i'm

gonna complete it you just reminded me oh yeah it's good yeah i can see her pain definitely i understand it uh what what's it like you know working with with men and and still making sure your voice is heard and you know I I've um I've been really lucky I want to say and I said that earlier that like somehow I've remained unscathed like nobody has put me in a position that like propositioning me or or um you know acting like they wouldn't help me unless you know something given, which I know is the situation for a majority of people. Like a lot of people deal with that. I think when I walk in a room, I just have like, I like create like a vibration that does not allow someone

to come with that shit to me. Dang, yeah. There's just this beacon. But like, you know, the people that I've worked with that have taught me the most are the legends. Like I got to sit in the room with Timbaland. You know, he taught me about like sticking to your instinct. And when you freestyle the melody and the vowel is even sounding like an O,

don't try to write a word that doesn't have an O in it. Like he made me trust myself so intensely that like everything I do is right. It's like that's what I learned from Timbaland. Nice. You know, like people like Nas, like just watching Nas listen to my album and just be like, do you know that I was listening to your album in my room alone and no one loved hip hop in my family and it was just me and your album and it was just me and you in that room. And now you are here helping me give my music to the world. So there's been, it's difficult with

like a male dominated situation. Whereas like, you know, I get on festival, like what, pre-corona, I'd get on festival, you know, bills and be the only female. Yeah. I would say stuff on stage. I'd be like, I cannot be the only female. If you are in the audience and you make music, the world needs you make music. We need more female rappers. We need more female musicians. more female rappers we need more female musicians so i think it's just like it can be a challenge but it can also be a treat because i am probably one of the only female rappers in india like kind

of on that level so no matter what i don't have to compete with them so it can be a man's world but i want to be a woman in it that's great and you're you know it's awesome that you're doing what you're doing and again um the ripple effect of what you're doing years down the road, I have no doubt you'll have your footprint on a lot of people's success. And that's got to be a fascinating and cool thing to think about. Yeah. I mean, I know that if an artist even represented India even a tiny bit when I was a kid, what that would have meant to me.

So I know there's going to be some just incredible musicians that I it's one of my dreams and I've said it a lot of times obviously I would love to win a Grammy in my life I mean that's something I have on my list but I would love to see somebody come out of India and win a Grammy like a kid born in India that made music that was able to compete with the entire world and and and sweep the world. I would hope to be a part of that project and be a part of their career and help that happen in the future. That would make me really happy.

That's awesome. Well, this has been really great. I've really enjoyed it. And before we let you go, we're going to do our, our last thing we do with all our guests called a play a little game called. Do you know me real simple uh raja um we're gonna ask you some questions a real basic rochelle picked them out just a heads up there um yeah and don't feel like you have to you don't have to answer if it's too weird i have no filter so let's go let's see what yeah it's great uh don't answer right away rochelle and i are gonna guess basically the idea right and then you know don't it's good you told me that

if there's an anecdote story you want to add to it feel free okay let's go uh do you know me with raja kamari first question does raja have bumble on her phone does raja have bumble on her phone currently i think she definitely has had she's she's tried and bumble she's been on it but don't you think she's on that fancy one you're on what's it called again raya raya raja's on raya but if you're on raya maybe i should get on Raya my friend's on Raya I'm gonna say yeah Bumble? she has Bumble on her

yeah she has it I don't think she likes Bumble cause honestly I don't like it either I think she's got Tinder on her phone

not Bumble I don't have Tinder no? oh man I got Bumble for sure she's swiping right now. I just went to it and I was like, throw these boys away.

I just like that it's really fucked up, but I like to be like, go away. Because they do that to us. So I'm like, no way. Ew, ew, ew. It's kind of a game. I don't even know if I'll talk to them. But, you know.

Okay. Next question. Does Raja own a jewel? Yeah. I think no. She's got to protect those pipes. Her parents would not approve. Parents would not approve, yes.

I do not own a jewel, but I do inhale other vapors. Not vapors, but they're more natural, and they grow from the earth, and they're very prevalent in California and India. I smoke weed too. It's fine. I've had to tell my parents like this is messed up. I'm sure somebody will hear this, but I have been caught like many times. And like now that it's like legal, it's like a lot easier because I'll be like, dad, I can't even get in trouble.

So now I basically told them that if they accept that sometimes I smoke a joint, that I have nothing in life to hide from them. Oh. Yeah, I mean, it's just culturally just not as socially acceptable. I find it to be a lot less damaging to your body than alcohol, but like. But they're, I mean, they wouldn't want me to like, I mean, I'm just, I just keep trying to prime them because eventually I'm going to drop Kumari Kush. So I'm just like trying to get them cool with it. Oh, damn.

Well, let me know when you do. Oh, don't worry. You'll be on the tasting, tasting, uh, list. Has, uh, Raja ever been waxed? Uh, sure. Yeah. You're a performer, you know, someone's like waxed some part of your body. Baby. Yeah. Yeah. All the time. My friends got mad at me because they're like, you should have got laser. But I'm like dying right now because it's sad. Sad life. Because you can't go get your, can't get waxed right now.

Can't get the thang waxed. You know, the thang. Oh, the thang. Yeah. Letting her run free, huh? It's okay. It's all right. Life's going to be okay. Last, last question question can raja name

three shakespearean plays can i of course a freaking i'm gonna say yes yeah yeah romeo and juliet caesar and othello damn that was quick when i was a kid i used to know like the monologue the mark anthony's eulogy for caesar oh cool i bet you if i get the first two lines or something it'll come out of the back of my head but i can't remember right now but i used to recite it all right well thank you for playing do you know me um uh do you feel like you um like are just really really into, because you talk about the mythology and you're dancing, are you really into story and myth? I like ancient history. I think my last birth was sometime during the seeding of this world

when the megaliths were being formed. So I feel that I'm back again to put the same energy back on Earth that was there at that time. That's my goal. And so some people might resonate with that and some people may still have some more things to figure out in their life till they can resonate with that.

There you go. I really loved having you on, Raja. It's been a real pleasure and a ton of fun. Where can people find you on social? Where can they listen to your music? Everywhere. Raja Kumari. Raja like the tiger from aladdin kumari like

harold and kumar with an i at the end you got it you can figure it out and then you're on spotify wink ghana there's stuff you don't even know about i'm on hungama all kinds of indian things but yeah everywhere on the raja kumari um on instagram facebook and you're doing a a virtual tour yeah i'm at the end of my world my world wide web tour um and it's been i got like a few more days on it but it's been amazing because it's been cool to connect with people from actual different like countries like the interviewer and then like the timing and the fans and stuff so it's uh i guess the best way to do press right now. But I'm wondering when we go back to the world,

if anyone's going to be able to get me out of my house to do anything. Because I'll be like, I'll Zoom. I'll Zoom in. I don't have to wear pants. I'll do this interview. Now, there's definitely going to be an adjustment with how we do things. When we come back to life. I know we're all going to be like, it's okay.

Well, this has been absolutely awesome. I really enjoyed it. You're doing great things. And I wish you nothing but future success. And I am really excited to see you blow up even more than you are. And it's been a ton of fun. And thank you for being such an inspiration and a melting pot for all different cultures. And definitely think it's a way of thinking that people should try to adapt even more.

So thanks for doing it. Thank you for having me. And make sure everybody streams NRI if you want to learn more about the duality of two cultures. Thank you. Absolutely. Well, and as always, we thank you for listening, the listeners. We really appreciate it. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you, if you want always trying to make sure we're getting those reviews.

It means a lot, obviously, and those people who plug us on their social always great. So thank you for doing that. Don't forget to send your questions at ask Nick at cast me.com for our ask Nick episodes. And other than that, we will see you on Monday.