The Viall Files - E147 Knowing Your Non-Negotiables with Trent Shelton

Episode Date: July 1, 2020

Get ready to feel inspired as we are joined by motivational speaker, author, former NFL player, and founder of the non-profit RehabTime, Trent Shelton. Trent and Nick address talking to your kids about Black Lives Matter, as well as how your empathy, compassion and- most importantly- your example can impact change in the world. They have a motivational conversation about not comparing yourself with others and how a different way of thinking can have you embracing your uniqueness. Lastly, we speak about Trent’s book Straight Up, coming out soon, and how its youth-focused message offers different perspectives but doesn’t sugarcoat the truth. “If you trade in your uniqueness for someone else’s identity you lose your power.” Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode.  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: HELLO FRESH: hellofresh.com CODE: viallfiles80 LIQUID IV: liquidiv.com CODE: viall NATURAL HABITS: nhoils.com CODE: krissy Episode Socials:  Viall Files @viallfiles Nick Viall @nickviall Krissy Lindquist @thekrissylindquist Trent Shelton @trentshelton @rehabtime See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what's going on everybody happy wednesday to you all assuming you are are tardy not tardy is it tardy no assuming you're prompt anyways whatever. Back recording from my home today. We'll be both in and out of the studio, kind of just depending on logistics and people's locations. And today we have an amazing episode with an amazing guest, Mr. Trent Shelton. Yeah, wouldn't you say, Chrissy? I don't know. I mean, I loved talking to Trent. It was really great. I loved it.

I loved talking to him, too. I'm so glad we had a chance to do that. I am also reporting from my home today, by the way. Chrissy is back in L.A. Welcome back, Chrissy. I'm back in L.A. No, he was so great, so inspiring, such good information, such good ways and tips to talk to your kids, family, your friendships,

how to grow relationships. It was great. I really enjoyed it. I loved it and I hope you guys will too. Now that Chrissy is back in LA and we get back in the studio, we'll start teasing you with a little bit more Chrissy. Teasing me? No, we've had some people wondering who's this Chrissy producer person

Chrissy's great Chrissy's great I met Chrissy I had a general meeting with Chrissy once you did have a general meeting with me once then she hired me for for the American Music Awards

and you killed it sure um anyways yeah we'll just uh sprinkle some chrissy in here and there um anything else before we get to to trent i don't know you know probably you know i loved how engaging you both were with each other it's such a good conversation I'm really excited about it for people to hear it. Well, we'll just stop rambling and we'll get right to Trent. Don't forget to send your questions at asknick at castmedia.com, cast with a K for Ask Nick episodes on Monday. For those of you tuning in to check out Trent for the first time, welcome.

We appreciate you joining. And check out some of our other episodes. I think you'll really enjoy that. Other than that, let's get to Trent. How's it going, Trent? Thanks for joining. It's going good, Nick. Thanks for having me.

I appreciate you guys for bringing me on your platform. Yeah, my pleasure. I really appreciate you taking the time. You're doing a lot of great things out there, and I'm guessing there's a lot of people in my audience who are already familiar with your work but figured just maybe a great way to start off is for those who don't know your story um you know just give them a little bit of a background on on what you um you know what you're doing but more importantly how did you find yourself

in this kind of this niche role that you're doing and you're doing great things. Yeah, man. To not take, I guess, three hours telling, I think I mastered like telling the story in like two minutes. So, you know, my career started with sports. Obviously, like that was what I wanted to do since a young age and just got the opportunity. You know, I always owe my, like give praise to my two older brothers because it was like them two versus me. So anytime I got against kids my age, I felt advanced because I was always going against my two older brothers. And so I got a chance, man, to, you know, all sports I played, football just happened to be the one for me. And it made most sense, you know, with my size.

I love basketball, but I'm 6'2". I mean, it's kind of hard to let your Allen Iverson to make it that way. I got a scholarship to go to Baylor. Baylor had a great career, all Big 12. I thought I was going to get drafted. It didn't happen, but I got picked up as a high priority free agent to the

Colts. That was in 2007. They won the Super Bowl in 2006. It was really cool to join a great organization. Coach Dungey, you know, join like a great organization, Coach Dungy, Peyton, all those guys. And just to kind of fast forward through that, like my NFL career obviously was my dream. It became my biggest nightmare because it didn't go the way I wanted it to go. It didn't cut, didn't release.

Probably 10, 11 times throughout my three-year career, three different teams, different cities, and depression and all these things hit because, you know, sometimes it's September and I'm at home back in Fort Worth. And I'm like, I'm not going out because people are going to be like, why are you here? You're supposed to be an indie. And so I just like suppressed myself and isolated myself. And two situations, man, you know, really changed my life. And in 2008, my son, the birth of Tristan, now Tristan wasn't planned. Me and Maria are now married. But at that time, Tristan wasn't planned. But Tristan was my greatest rescue because it made me finally realize in my life that, like, I was a leader and I had to lead. My son was going to either follow, you know, a way that I was leading that was great or a path that was bad. And so it made me really man up as a man and get myself together. or a path that was bad.

And so it made me really man up as a man and get myself together. And in 2009, man, I made a decision. I was in my room and I looked around at like all the trophies and everything. And I was like, man, is this it? Like, is this just gonna be my life? Is it over? Like, I mean, as we know,

if you're a sports athlete, most athletes, you know, that's all you know. I didn't even work a nine to five my whole entire life. So it's like, is this it? And the words rehab time, bro, that's all you know. I didn't even work a nine or five my whole entire life. So I was like, is this it? And the words rehab time, bro, just came to my mind. I don't know, you know, I don't know where that came from, but the word rehab time came to my mind.

I thought of rehab as putting the strength back into a weakness because there were so many times in sports I was hurt. I went to rehab and I came back stronger, even though the process of rehab, you know, suck and taught me a lot of patience. So I said mind, body, and soul. And so I started picking up books. I wasn't reading books then. I started training at a different level.

I started doing all these things. And as I started to share my journey, man, people started to catch on to it. And the big thing that really, really like cemented everything was 2011, one of my best friends committed suicide, my college roommate. And that changed everything for me because I mean to this day it's still surreal but me going to his funeral just telling him like bro I don't feel like I was there for you like I should have been I promise you that I'm going to spend the rest of my life helping people know their self-worth like helping people know that

just because something is over doesn't mean your life is over and that was my reason and so that reason has carried me all the way to the 2020 where we're at today yeah i mean that's uh i appreciate you sharing and it's it's um you know fascinating to to hear is you know as it relates to your friend i mean was it just more you know know, you like, you have this mission, obviously, like you said, is to try to help people, whoever you interact with, just to know their own self-worth is, which is, you know, great to hear. We, and kind of in a very indirect way, we do that on our show here, especially when it comes to people in relationships and dating and young women who are spending more time trying to get guys to like them than, than worrying about, you like them than worrying about knowing their self-worth kind of thing.

Did you beat yourself up when your friend passed away? Or was there something you specifically identified where you weren't there for him? Or was it just say, hey, man, there were these little moments where I should have, I could have or should have noticed. Yeah, man. You know, one major moment, you know, me and my other best friend were like, we all are roommates. And so, we had a conversation probably three weeks before and I was at his house.

I mean, we need to hit up Anthony, you know, he lived in San Antonio. And it was just like, okay, I'll hit him up later. And just throughout leaving college, you know, he lived in San Antonio and it was just like, okay, I hit him up later. And just throughout leaving college, you know, I was playing professionally. He was playing professionally, but he quit. And I think that's a big part of it. He got into the military. And so my regret was, man, like, I wish I would have checked on him more. You know, I wish I would have talked to him more, but I, and I mean, losing so many people in my life, I mean, grandparents and everything.

I think that's the first thing you think about when you lose someone close to you, but then it made me think about how about how would he want me to honor his name? And so even to this day, when people pass away, I'm always thinking about that. Like, okay, how can I keep them alive? And I knew he had a bad relationship, and I knew he lost football. And I knew that made him not want to live life no more. So that's why you hear a lot of my messages. I will help people be like, hey, just because you lose something, don't lose yourself. So that's where it comes from.

Yeah. Um, that, that is definitely true. I mean, what are some of the things in terms of, you know, what you're out there and speaking to your audience, uh, you know, how can people try to manage a disappointment in your life? Cause that, right. That's what we're kind of talking about is, you know, no matter what you have in life, big or small, like, you know, you're not going to get what you want, right? Understanding what you want versus what you need is a challenge people have in life. You know, what are some, you know, best practices that you, you know, you've noticed that people could do on a daily basis to try to manage expectations? And then instead of, like you said, try to manage expectations and then instead of like you said having it um cause them to maybe you know lose themselves but use that as an opportunity to find some growth

yeah man i think it's a few things you know um i always i have a struggle right now i always talk about work and a lot of people say know your work know your word um but i think a lot of people say they don't understand it. And so one of the things that I often teach is tell people is like, you need to really understand what worth is made of. And one of the things that that I try to see many people's hearts is that, you know, worth is not an external thing. And a lot of times we tie our work to external things, to a relationship, to a status, how many followers we have. And as long as your work is depending on something outside of you,

your inside will always be controlled. So I like to say it's like a puppet master. So if NFL, for example, right? When it was going great, I felt great. When it was going low, I felt low. And so I often try to tell people to identify the puppet masters that are controlling your life, right?

That are pulling the strings in your life so you can understand that. And I believe worth is made up controlling your life, right? That are pulling the strings in your life. So you can understand that. And I believe worth is made up of two things, right? The acceptance of self and the confidence of self. And just accepting yourself fully, that means imperfections, everything. And confidence is obviously just believing in yourself to the max. And the thing is, I feel like a lot of times, you know, and this has helped me realize stuff. There's going to be people in your life that are people that you meet, people that you encounter.

They're not going to know your value. They're not going to see your work. And I actually saw like a parable that made perfect sense. I don't know if y'all saw it online, but it was this guy. I basically gave a car to our grandfather, gave a car to his granddaughter. He's like, hey, this car is worth a lot of money like go sell this car and she's like okay cool and so she goes to the dealership and they're like this car is not worth nothing and then she goes to the next dealership she goes for like 10 dealerships in 10 places and they're like it's not worth nothing and she finally goes to this car club and this car club is like oh my gosh like where did you get this car from this is like super valuable and pays her a hundred thousand dollars for the car and so like how does that

relate it relates because a lot of times we're trying to get people to see how valuable we are when they're blind to it and we go to the wrong people so the right person will will see that for you so that's the first thing having people like really know that word the second thing i feel like it's setting boundaries for your life and so if you don't have boundaries, the voids in your life will control your life. A lot of times we fall into bad things because we're lonely. We fall into bad things because we're at a low emotional level. So set boundaries, whatever that is, like things that are non negotiable. So for me, I don't trust myself to make the right decisions all the time. I don't, you know, because temptation might show up,

an opportunity might show up, all these things. But I trust my values and my principles and my boundaries to make the right decisions for me. So if it goes against my values, I'm not going to do it. No matter how good it may appear to be, I know in the long run it's probably not going to be good for my life. No matter how great the opportunity may appear to be, I'm not going to do it because it might not be good for my life. No matter how great the opportunity may appear to be, I'm not going to do it because it might not be right for my life. So I think you got to get

crystal clear and have non-negotiables in your life that you're not going to budge for nothing. And that takes a lot of self-discipline. Yeah, it does. I mean, that was kind of my follow-up is like, are you setting those on your own? Do you suggest that people do that? I know you don't want to rely too much on outside influences, but obviously people circles influence, like maybe it's your wife or a friend or a mentor or things like that. How do, how can people kind of, well, how can they do that? Because you're right. And it, it's nice to have a support system, whatever that is. And it's nice to like have these non-negotiables. I like how you use that in terms of, you know, cause you're right. Day in and day out, we are

faced with various temptations and little moments of weaknesses. And it's, it's nice to have people check us. Absolutely. Like that's the thing about friends, right? And it takes a level of security too. And being secure with yourself because you know, everybody wants to call people haters, right? It's just like, oh, you hold me accountable, you're a hater, or you're going against me. And that's not the truth. Some people are naturally telling you the truth. So you have to have a trusted circle, which I talk a lot about with knowing your circle, a trusted circle of people that will help you develop these things, whether it's a coach, whether it's a mentor, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your kids, you know, even my son, you know, I have make him hold me accountable to the things I hold him accountable for. And so when you have that type of environment, which I like to

call it a growth environment, it helps. It isn't always easy, because it makes you uncomfortable. But those are the people that you need in your life that will check you if you don't want to check yourself. And I think the ultimate place is you get to the place where you can check yourself. And I often ask myself every single day or every day, every other day, or at least once a week, right? At least. And I reflect and I say, okay, what are the things that I did this week that didn't lead me to where I want to go? A lot of people don't have destinations in their life too. And I think once you have a destination, a mission, a meaning for your life, then it becomes a lot easier to make certain decisions because you know those decisions are either going to move you closer to it or move

you further away from it. Well, I'll tell you what, Chrissy. I don't know about you. I love delicious food. I love delicious food. I love delicious food that's easy to make. And I really hate, I'm like, listen, I'm a single serving guy. I'm alone. I live alone. And when I go to the grocery store, sometimes I'm trying not to because obviously we're trying to stay inside more. And HelloFresh is making it so much easier for me to both stay inside, eat delicious food, and not have to worry about like, you know, buying all these groceries. It's, it's really perfect.

You don't have as much waste. I don't, I have definitely less waste and it's, I don't have to like, I hate always thinking like, what should I make? You know, what should I do?

And then like you buy all these little ingredients just for like as a single serving guy. Like if I need like a certain spice, I'll spend like $7 on the spice or whatever. It's annoying. You only use it once. I only use it once, like a year later. Anyways, HelloFresh, they have all the ingredients. You know, if it needs a spice, they have it in there.

It's a single serving spice. Pre-portioned ingredients mean there's less prep and you will need less wasted food, like I said. HelloFresh has more five-star recipes than any other meal kit. ingredients mean there's less prep and you will need less wasted food like i said hello fresh has more five-star recipes than any other meal kit so you know you're gonna get something delicious yeah did you know the average trip to the grocery store is 41 minutes and that's even when like you know what you want i mean i go to the grocery store and i'll just like sit in aisle four just like in a like a glazed look and people will be like are you okay and i'm like i don't know

uh hello fresh yeah hello fresh i'll tell you what i'm still watching netflix and i'm like you know and now i'm gonna open up my hello fresh uh takes uh 20 30 minutes to to make your very easy dinner and bam you're ready to go and if you like supporting uh companies that support good causes hello fresh donated over 2.5 million meals to charities in 2019. And this year, they are stepping up their food donations amid the COVID virus crisis. So to get HelloFresh, use my code VIALFILES80 to get $80 off with purchase, including free shipping on your first box. So once again, that's HelloFresh.com and use code VIALFILES80, V-I-A-L-L, F-I-L-E-S-E-80. Use code VIALLFILES80, V-I-A-L-L-FILES80.

Go to HelloFresh.com for more details. I can't tell you, I love flavor in my drinks, and I hate drinking sugar. And I'll tell you what, Liquid IV has just made that so much easier on me. I bet there's a lot of people out there like me that's just like they know they should drink more water, but it's boring. So boring. Water's so boring. Water is so boring.

It's like the most boring thing. Liquid IV makes water fun, and then you get hydrated. It's like drinking two to three bottles of water in a single sitting. It's packed with vitamins. It's got as much potassium as a banana, and I don't like bananas. That's an extra win for me. Non-GMO, vegan, and gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free. You need to hydrate people.

It's great for a pre-workout, post-workout. Obviously, if you have too much alcohol, it's great for that. But honestly, I just drink it every day and feeling more hydrated and better than ever before. Most importantly, it's delicious. My favorite is lemon-lime. I like it. I love it. It's great.

I like that. Thank you, Barry. So if you want to get your own Liquid IV, it's available nationwide at Costco or you can get 25% off when you go to liquid IV.com and use my code VIAL at checkout. That's 25% off anything you order when you use promo code VIAL at liquid IV.com. Get better hydration today at liquid IV.com promo code VIAL. Get better hydration today at liquidiv.com, promo code V-I-A-L-L. Yeah, I mean, choosing friends, it's such a big part of our life. And friends, I guess you can equate that, you know, eventually we want to, you know,

we say we want to marry our best friend or date our best friend. But that is a challenge because people can, they can have a friend circle and they can accumulate friends over time and then take a step back and go, wow, none of these people are helping me be the best version of myself. Or maybe they're all enablers or I have a bunch of people who agree with me all the time. And every time I come to them, they're definitely saying something I want to hear, but nothing is really helping. that can be a big challenge for people, especially right now, you know, with conversations that are going on in the world today in terms of, you know, how do we have conversations with our friends that might not always see eye to eye or we are our conversations with our friends are very surface level, we talk about all the things that we agree on, like maybe we're sports fans. So we talk about our love for sports or,

but then we get in the nitty gritty and, and we're not able to have these conversations with the people in our circle. Yeah, man. The silliest illustration that I use all the time. And to me, it reflects like what a real and true friend is, right? A real friend is not going to tell you what you want to hear.

They're going to tell you what you need to hear, whether you like it or not. And one of the illustrations that I like to use is so simple. If I was walking off a cliff, right, blindfolded, and I'm walking towards the edge, what are you going to tell me to do? If you're my friend, you're going to tell me to stop, right? Obviously, hopefully you would tell me to stop. Like probably yell it like you're crazy. What are you doing?

Now, if you didn't like me or you weren't really my friend, maybe even hated me. People were used. Oh, they'll tell you to stop. I mean, they'll say keep going or they'll probably say nothing. And silence to me often says a lot. And so if you're going to just watch me destruct my life. And I've been there before. Like when I was playing NFL, I had all the friends in the world that were watching me destruct my life. I've been a bad friend of people. I always don't want to point the finger. I've been that friend. And so I want people in my life

that's going to hold me accountable to the things that I say I was going to do. And one of the things that you can do right now, you know, people listening to this, is check your text messages. Check the conversations you're having with people. And I have three levels. I have family, which isn't always blue,

but family is people that I know for sure that I got their back. I can call them right now. No questions asked. They're going to tell me the truth. They're going to say, Trent, like I had a call with a family member today. It was like, hey, you don't need to have Tristan

out there playing football. Whether however you feel, don't have him do that. I have friends where it's kind of, you know, maybe so. You know, I trust them. I depend on them, but not as much as family. I have associates. Associates, we're just cordial, right? I don't expect anything from it.

I think when you get people confused, it brings a lot of confusion in your life. But check your text messages. Like, what are the conversations that you're having with your friends? And if it's not growth conversations and you say that's somebody that's close to you and special with you, then maybe you might need to do some rearranging and check your circle

because as they always say, you know, you're the sum of the five people you hang around and your life is going to be exactly like them. So I think I often ask myself, that holds me accountable. And I ask, I don't really say it to my friends, but I ask

like do I want to catch what they have right because mindsets are very contagious what you surround yourself around is what you would be like and if I don't want to catch what they have I don't want to be around them and it isn't always like greatness like I have friends that are dope fathers that inspired me to be a better father or dope friends whatever like that so you're not inspired by your circle you need to change it totally. Also, I like how you worded the check your text messages too, because, you know, sometimes I think people confuse, you know, friendship with something that's not friendship. You know, I'm missing a word for it. But for example, like sometimes, especially when we're younger,

maybe we're impressed by someone, their access to a certain type of world. There's a lot of people who say they like friends, but they just really like to accumulate people who listen to them. They like followers, right? And so if your quote unquote friendship is more about just having access to a certain type of person, but you're not offering them anything as a friend and they're not listening to you. And it's like you said, you check your text messages. It's a very one sided relationship. It's a good, good chance to look at that relationship and see what you get out of it, because you're right. Like you could be at risk of, again, going down a wrong path because it's not a friendship. You're maybe just excited about like, oh my God, this person

hangs out with so-and-so. And since I've been hanging out with them, like I get to do, I get to do X, Y, and Z, but like, what are they doing? Like, what's that relationship really look like? And are you compromising? Like you said, some, you're non-negotiables because you're, you have these, you know, really bright eyes of like the excitement of, you know, what're non-negotiables because you have these really bright eyes of the excitement of what they're doing. And we've all been there. I know I've done that. You meet someone, they seem really cool, they're really charming, exciting.

And then all of a sudden you're just like, yeah, you just kind of feel compromised after a while. And the ability to identify that is always really important, especially when it comes to friendships. Absolutely. I think a simple question, I say to my spoken word friends, if all you have to offer is friendship, like who would still be around? Because like you said, some people, and you have to check yourself with this too, because I've been that person too. But sometimes people are around you for what surrounds your life, not for you, right? They're around you for the benefits a lot of times. So if those benefits

weren't there, and this has happened, I'm sure it's happened to you, when the benefits leave, their loyalty leaves with it. And you start to realize like, oh, okay, I see why you were here for it. So you got to find people who love you for who you are and not necessarily for what you do. They appreciate you for what you do, but who you are, that's what they truly care about. And that's what I try to surround my life around as much as I can. Totally. A nice segue, I think, into this conversation

is talking about friends. We've talked a lot about Black Lives Matter on this podcast. And it's always been important for us to continue to learn. And as someone like yourself, who is, you know, obviously talked a lot about it, and, you know, I'd love you to share some some light, but, you know, I've started to have more and more conversations with my friends. I've already, you know, I've continued to open myself to learning about, you know, information, you know, from from people of color or other black people who can

just educate me on things. And I'm, I'm wondering, like, I'm assuming you're having from people of color or other black people who can just educate me on things. And I'm wondering, like, I'm assuming you're having a lot of different conversations, both with your inner circle, even your kids, and then say, say some of your white friends. And like, you talk a lot about helping people understand kind of, you know, what black lives matter means. And I'm assuming you're having different conversations with your kids versus what conversations, say, white families have to have with their kids

and things like that. And what are some of the differences you are seeing and how can we continue to come to a place where this makes sense to everyone and it becomes less divisive and less confrontational? Yeah, man. So a short answer is empathy. I think empathy can change the world.

I know sometimes it's hard to actually feel empathy and experience empathy, but you have empathy through conversations because every single one of us, we have different experiences. Every single one of us, even when people like, I almost have empathy, and this might seem even crazier to say for even people who might have been racist, because it's probably been taught to them, right? And so I'm like, okay, well, it's been taught to them their whole entire life. This is what they think is right, even though it's not right, but this is what they think is right. So I'm always thinking about that when I'm trying to either help people or have these conversations. And the thing is right. So I'm always thinking about that when I'm trying to either help people or

have these conversations. And the thing about it, what I'm seeing is a culture of what about me? Like, it's like, what about me? And, but, and, but, and, but, and, but, and, you know, we live in a, in a, in a culture right now where, and I want to say this too, what I've been seeing is beautiful. I've been seeing a lot of people come together and I'm all for that, but I think we live in a culture right now, and it is getting better, but people would rather offer opinions before they even send condolences, right? We live in a culture where everybody wants

to be right for significance. And I'm just like, we will never come together because selfishness doesn't create togetherness. And so until you get outside of self, until you can say, my perspective might not be right, even if it's right in my eyes, my perspective right now might not be right, so let me have a conversation. Let me educate myself. I had to educate myself even more.

And I'm a black man, right? And I started to see myself as a part of the problem. And this is the thing. If we can all see ourselves as a part of the problem, something I told my kids, if we can all see ourselves as a part of the problem, something I told my kids, if we can all see ourselves as a part of the problem, that's a great thing. Because then we can finally see

that we each have the power to become a part of the solution. So like, what's one thing that you can do, I can do? And it looks different from everybody. So sometimes it's conversations. Sometimes, you know, I've told my white friends that, you know, they say, I've never experienced racism in my life. I said, just because you didn't experience it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Here's some things that I've been through. Go to the inner city, you know, go to a different

environment so you can actually feel and understand it. And I think black people should do that too. Have conversations of like, oh, I see why you never have experienced this. So until we get to that place where nobody wants to be right to prove themselves right and just say what's the big right picture for us all which i feel like is love my neighbor as you love them you love yourself you know look out for your for your neighbor as you want to be looked out for give the same sensitivity to your neighbor that you would expect if something if your father your brother was killed until we get to that place, I feel like, you know, we'll continue to go through this hamster wheel. So, yeah, that's what that's like.

It's a that's a challenge, right? It's a constant challenge. Very much so. You know, one thing I've really learned in the past two months thinking about this stuff a lot and having conversations with my friends. I mean, I grew up in Wisconsin, right? And I grew up very conservative. And even my friend, like, you know, I have a great group of friends and loving people, but we just grew up in a very white world, right? And Milwaukee is a very segregated city. So even though we lived in Milwaukee, like, you know, black people were

on one part of town, white people on another part of town, Hispanic. And it's, you know, you think you're, you know, it's like, I've never seen racism. And one thing I've really learned is just because we think we haven't seen racism, like kind of to your point, doesn't like, we just weren't looking for it, you know, just the subtleties of racism, you know, like I gave this example. I think a lot of people like watch movies like The Help and they see this overt racism and they're like, well, I haven't, you know, I haven't I haven't seen that. So I'm good, you know, but there's we're not looking at where we haven't been in tuned and aware. And then when you get into kind of the privilege conversation about like it's just been convenient not to notice, you know, we've looked the other way. Listen, we're always looking for safe ways to center into our air. We're always looking for non-invasive approaches to help us

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Chrissy, K-R-I-S-S-Y for 25% off. And right now we are donating 30% of our profits to small companies that are black owned and doing great things in their community. So extra bonus, nhroyals.com. And like you said, when I was a young man you know i had the luxury of being taught like you know every police officer great and you respect authority and if someone's committing a crime they deserve it right that was it was that it was that simple and again i have a

cop who's a brother who's a cop a lot of great police officers out there. But sometimes the devil's in the details of like, it hasn't been that way for everyone. And you can't just assume everyone is treated the same. And there's just kind of like of this awakening of taking a step back. And like you said, showing empathy and just putting yourself in someone else's shoes before you try to make an argument of why you're right or why it's a certain way. Because it is, it's scary. It's scary to say, and I've tried to

say to my friends, like, I've been ignorant. We've been ignorant. Like, let's not get defensive by acknowledging our ignorance. You're only going to, but if you refuse to, you know, acknowledge it, that's when it's, that's when it gets bad. Then it's on you, right? You know, now, now you are an adult. You have the chance to educate yourself. You have a chance to learn and have conversations before. Maybe you were just a product of your environment and maybe your environment was great, right? Your environment overall was really nice and loving. And, but again, you, did you really take the time to sit down and, and, and appreciate someone else's point of view? And I think you said really really well but yeah definitely a big difference between not seeing racism and and not having it be there um and that's been my biggest uh takeaway um the subtle

things like you said i mean i 100 agree that's like we think that we got to see somebody like you know crazy like over the top and maybe that exists, but like I say, it's just the little subtle things, even with privilege, you know, one of the things that, you know, even with privilege from your, your race or just even, you know, I, I talked about my podcast, like, you know, I have privilege from the simple fact of my platform is like, we, we, I think this is a conversation that we can all look at ourselves and say, you know what? How can we help those that are less privileged? How can we give more opportunity to someone that

might not necessarily, that might even be like, for me, one of the things that I love to do is I love to do things for people and with people that might not have never got the opportunity because they don't have a following. They don't have all these things, but they're great individuals. So I think we got to look at ourselves too

and see how are we benefiting off of privilege, whether it's our color, whether it's our status, and how can we pull people up that deserve it at the same time? For sure. As a father yourself, obviously, I'm sure, you know,

talking to your kids and educating them on life and all the things in the world is important. But, you know, how have you talked to your kids about what's going on in the world today? And, you know, for all the parents who are listening, you know, we talk about, you know, having real change comes with, you know, teaching the young people of the world, maybe a different perspective or looking at things through a different lens. And how can people, whether they're black or white, you know, educate their kids about, you know, Black Lives Matter, or just kind of speaking them about some of the things we're talking about to show, you know, to have real change in the world where, you know, 10, 20 years

from now, we don't have to keep having these conversations and trying to convince people of things that should be so obvious yeah um that's a great question man i think it looks different for you know different families for sure but you know in my household you know my son is mixed you know tristan my wife is filipino i'm black um but i told tristan at the end of the day and it's just facts like you're probably gonna be viewed as a black man in this world. And I've allowed him to, what's crazy is that kids, they don't see that, you know, they don't see, they don't see like, oh, he's black, he's white, he's different. They don't see that. And so the conversation has been kind of hard because his mind's not even there, but obviously with social media, he sees what's going on.

And so my thing is educating him as much as I can. So we watch The Hate U Give. So he said, oh, wow, we watch 13 documentary. You know, so he's starting to see like why these things are happening, because as he grows, I don't want to be naive to the world. But the main thing is him talking to my father. You know, my father's growing up in the 60s. And him understanding, him talking to my grandmother and understanding, like, how bad it was then, how far we actually came. Me sharing my stories of it. And I tell him, I was like, hey, these aren't to make you scared or fearful.

This is to let you know what really goes on. But this is also to put a fire in you to make sure that you over the top give love to everybody because the only way we're going to change this world is we change our youth and so i think planting the seeds of love planting the seeds of standing up for your friends i mean this is even deeper than color like kids getting bullied i told tristan every single time you see a kid is sitting by himself at lunch you go sit with him you know you go sit next to him you be that person because if you want somebody to stand up for you in your time of need, you have to do it when it's inconvenient.

When you don't, when you, maybe your friends make fun of you at school for you sitting with the different kid. And so I just try to instill those morals, like not just color, but just overall giving love and being a good person. And I think that's what we have to do because a lot of these kids, like I said, they're not, I don't want to say they don't see color, but they're not judging their friends. Oh, you're white, so you're this,

or you're black because you're this. I don't really see that at this age at 11 years old. Yeah, no, and it's, you see a lot of things on the internet in terms of like, you know, racism isn't, you're not born with it. It's something that we've we learned in our cultures. And that is the sad truth. And just kind of, I love how you mentioned just it's, we live in a time where we have to go one, at least one step further, right? The

difference between don't be a bully versus sticking up for the people who are being bullied. You know, that one step further, sitting next to the kid. I love that. I love those kind of above and beyond things. Because just sitting back and checking yourself and making sure that you're good and you're not part of the problem. It's not enough. It's not enough anymore, right? And it's like everything else in this world. Like if we just

do a little bit more, you know, I come from a sales background and we always kind of had this, you know, I played sports too. And it was like one more rep or one more call. Like just, just do like when at that moment when you feel like you can't do anymore, find it in yourself to try to just get a little bit more done. Um, and that can can be applied to anything in your life in terms of is there something that you can do to finish your day to say, you know, how can I do a little bit more to help the people around me or make that phone call, you know, reaching out to that friend who you're just like, we're too tired or too busy to call back. then you know it will probably make them happy just to uh to hear from them i'll tell you what like when i have people who connect with me that i know

they're busy i'll like text them back but hey thanks for calling it made me feel good you know just to let them know that they did something for me uh absolutely and so this those little those little moments that can go a long way and i will say this too to add to the parent uh conversation with your kid i think the best conversation to have is your example you know you can have all the conversation in the world with your children but if they see you treating someone a different type of way it's learned behavior so i'm always making sure i don't want to put a perfection thing on parents because that doesn't exist. But just making sure like Tristan knows how I feel because he sees my life. He sees how I treat everybody.

So he knows like that's the standard. He sees my dad, his grandfather, how we live life. And so the greatest conversation you ever will have is not with words. It's with actions. And so you have to be that example for your child. Yeah. I know you talk a lot about mental health on your platform. And one thing you talk about is obviously the challenge that we have of comparing ourselves to others.

I know probably one of my biggest challenges, too, I'm a competitive guy. I'm good at – I will say one of my strengths has been when I do compare myself to others, I try to learn from them and not make excuses for why they could be more fortunate than me. But at the same time, I spend a lot of energy and a lot of mental capacity on simply just comparing myself to things and people that ultimately don't benefit my mental health. And, you know, what are some things that you've learned along the way that you could, you know, people could try to do to, to not do that thing? Or why should we not be comparing ourselves as much as we do? Yeah, I mean, it's just to be straight up about it. It's like, what does comparison really do? And I want to say, yes, there is healthy comparison. I think when you get to a place of being secure, you can actually, you know, turn that comparison to inspiration.

You can say, oh, okay, cool. I look at that and I want to be like that. Okay, that inspires me. But we live in a social media era where we're comparing even subconsciously. As soon as you put up your phone, you start scrolling, you're probably comparing your life. And I always bring up J. Cole's song, Love Yours. I think it's the perfect song. And he says, you know uh there's no such thing as a life that's better

than yours and there will always be something better there will always be something you know bigger there will always be something faster you know so you're just gonna live in a race of trying to keep up with everybody else that you're going to end up burning out and a beautiful illustration that i've been using is, you know, there's no way you can, you know, beautiful garden by worrying about your neighbor's flowers. Right. So you have to focus on yours. You might can admire them and say, Oh, those are nice,

but worrying about someone else will do absolutely nothing for your life. And this is as straight as I can put it. It won't, it will just lead you to a place of not feeling like you're enough, lead you to a place of maybe even jealousy where, you know, it can happen where you're comparing so much and you actually are admiring them in kind of a negative way that turned into jealousy. And now you're trying to be like why they don't deserve something. And you're thinking that's going to make you feel good about yourself,

but then they're going to keep succeeding. And then you feel less about yourself. So comparison will do nothing for your life. And every time you compare your life, I feel like it's a disrespect to God's face, how he made you, because we all have different journeys and you running someone else's race is only going to lead you to you being tired, to you being empty. So run your race. And my mother told me this a long time ago, and I'll be quiet after this.

My mother said, you know, we all are individuals and we all have a certain calling and purpose on our life and when we trade in our uniqueness for another person's identity and trying to be like someone else or do what someone else is doing you know we lose our power and I've always said with that because it's true like there's people that you can reach that i can't vice versa and um and also too it's you know i talk about asking questions and i want to get to in depth but like one of the things that i always ask myself is like do i really know their life because there's people with massive success but also massive unhappiness and the thing that you could be wishing for like literally is worse than what you have totally Totally. You don't know someone's life.

I think about that a lot too. And even just like little things, right? Sometimes when we ask ourselves, how could they do that? Or how could they say that? Or I remind myself as a sports fan, right? Like I think sports fans will have this like, how did he drop that? Why did he have a bad game?

It's just like, dude, you have no idea what was going on in his head. Maybe it's like his girlfriend broke up with them or like, well, who knows? Like he, he found out he got like a bad report on his credit report. You don't know. Like all these little things as humans that we deal with. Right. And then from our point of view, like from our own like selfish point of view, we're so in tuned to all the things that go on in our world the little that like we deal with that we will stress out over we'll we'll lose our minds and have road rage but yet we forget that every other person has these like millions of thoughts and worries and comparisons and yet we oversimplify their actions and just be like well that's just obvious why would you do that why would you say that and yet we oversimplify their actions and just be like well that's just obvious why would you do that why would you say that and yet like we have a million built-in excuses for like our own bullshit that we we do it's it's kind of fascinating um but yeah it's it's it's kind of crazy um you know as far as like like i mean that's something i chant i i struggle with because i'm a really competitive guy i'm assuming you are you know at least on some level as like like i mean that's something i chan i i struggle with because i'm a really competitive

guy i'm assuming you are you know at least on some level as well like you know how how can people who who have that competitive spirit in terms of these comparisons like you gave a lot of great um analogies um you know where are there things that you maybe like struggled with have you always thought this way? Or like, how did you like get to this point where I was just like, yeah. I struggled with comparison today. Like, I mean, I think we all do. Like I said, especially in the culture that we're in. I think if you say you don't struggle with comparison, like what else do you lie about? Like we all struggle with it. Even if it's, like I said,

subconsciously, but you just got to have triggers when these things happen. You got to catch yourself and you got to have something that really, you know, triggers you to get out of that space. And so for me, it's oftentimes, like I said, I don't know their life. It's oftentimes like I've gotten to a place now where, you know, that I'm, I'm fulfilled in my life. And I know that me wanting like them to be successful, like me wanting to like congratulate them, like me wanting to give light to their life has always worked better too.

Because like I said, it's easy to be like, oh, like why they got that? Or it's easy to turn that jealousy on. So I'm always trying to flip the switch. And anytime I catch myself kind of going down that pace. And yeah, I think if you write down some things or have some things in your memory bank, you start to catch yourself in comparison.

Because like I said, how is it going to help your life? And people listen, have to ask themselves that question. How is me watching someone else going to help my life, right? How is me looking at somebody's life and seeing how successful they are or non-success? Because we can do that too, right? We also find people that might not be doing as good to make us feel better about ourselves also you know it's both like we'll feel less about ourselves and we'll feel better about ourselves but what does that actually do for you at the end of the day oh totally those are just

things that i have questions that i that, and triggers, I guess is a better word, that I often tell myself to kind of snap me out of it when I'm going through that. And I just think this, I will tell you this, I catch myself comparing a lot more when I'm lazy, when I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And oftentimes, it's a reminder for me that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing because I'm spending too much time watching someone else doing what they're doing. And so when I'm working, when I'm head down, focused on my life, I don't have the time to worry about someone else's life like that. I don't have the time to sit there and analyze their stuff. And so it always is a trigger for me too. It's like, I'm spending too much time watching this. So let me put down my phone. Let me pick up a pen and let me go create something great.

That's definitely true. And we're all guilty of that. I know I can be too. And it's, you know, when you talk about obvious that it makes me think of something like, it makes me think of like the world that we're in too, in terms of like cancel culture, right? Like the human spirit, right? And I'll admit, I've felt this feeling too. We all love a fall from grace, like the human nature.

Like why as a society do we like saying that? And we, you know, we will be like, oh, I don't wish bad on anyone. And then yet when you especially see someone at the top, and listen, some people deserve to be canceled because they've done some terrible things. But I'm just talking about little people in our circles, in our community. Like sometimes we just, we like to see people get checked, right? And we will tell ourselves, oh, they deserved it or they weren't this or they weren't that. But yeah, I don't know why it must come. It's got to come from a place of, of comparing ourselves too much of like,

why do we like to see that happen to people? It's, I don't know. I don't have an answer for it, but it's truly, it's fascinating. I'll tell you this. I remember when I got cut from the NFL, bro, like when I was doing that, that three year stint in my life was like, hell, you know, like I was just even me personally, like I was just all over the place. And I always tell people like that's the probably the time in my life where I was like, the biggest hater. Like, I never say anything about anybody. It's not my nature. But I would like wish like even like you put up Peyton Manning I'd be like oh he's not that good like it was a total lie because he's incredible but it came from a place of me being insecure right and wishing someone else's failure kind of brought it made me feel good about doing nothing with my life and I think a lot of times that's what happens it It's kind of like a fake cure for our insecurities, right? We see it like, oh, okay, well, you know, they failed. So I feel a little bit better about myself.

And anytime that I catch myself, like, kind of like being entertained. So I think entertainment is what's ruling this world. We like to be entertained to take our focus and vision off maybe our own problems. Anytime I catch myself being entertained by someone's struggle, I know I have some insecurities in my life at that moment. And so I immediately take my focus off of them and I focus on myself. So, okay, like what's going on in here? Like, why am I being entertained by someone else's downfall? Because I wouldn't want that for my life. Yeah, that's a great way of saying it. I really like how you said that because that's a great way to try to identify when we do this. Like, and it sounds dirty when you say it too, but we're all

guilty of that. Be like, holy shit, I'm being entertained by someone else's misfortune. And there's not a certain single person listening to this who hasn't been guilty of that probably in this past week like we just i think it's just in our nature our insecurities are are so powerful right and and even when we know that we're confident people uh we deal with our own insecurities day in and day out our ego i mean i talk about ego all the time you know and i'll i'll even say it to be my friends be like well this is just this is your ego speaking up they're like no it's not it's not it's not my it's it's this and it's that it's just like i don't want to admit that like my you know i i i have these things and it's just like well okay well you know that's probably your ego saying it's not your ego but hey that's

just that's just me um it's yeah it's a it's a it's our egos really try to mask themselves and protect uh our our sensitivity and insecurities are things but you know when we can really put those out there it's a it's a very relieving feeling too i mean i'm i posted something a couple weeks ago about um on my instagram where I posted this photo of me shirtless and a lot of people thought I was too thin, you know, and it bugged me and I'm a very confident guy when it comes to like, you know, taking my shirt off and, and silly things like that. But like, just to put it out there that it bothered me was a very empowering, empowering feeling. And just to say that, like, I, it hurt my feelings. I'm not good at saying that out loud,

especially on my platform, but it really, that gave me confidence, uh, just to say that. And, uh, it's something I do try to practice every day, but yeah, it's, that takes a lot of work, you know, to, to do that. But cause it's always, I always catch myself, um, even to myself or to other people just being like, well, I mean, I'm good. I mean, I'm, I to myself or to other people, just being like, well, I mean, I'm good. I mean, I'm fine. And I'm, you know, like there's always these little flexes that we do, right? To like let people know that we're super confident and super strong

and super self-assured. And those are just, I always feel a little down about myself every time I catch myself these little tiny flexes that I feel like why did I need why did I have to have that why did I need to tell people this like let people see this in me and if they don't that's okay it's okay if they they don't see that absolutely I think it's power when we can own you know those imperfections and doing that and it's like just it's just freedom you know I definitely feel like there's just freedom for you when you can just be like, this is who I am. This is, you know, straight off, however y'all feel. That's how you feel. And I think that's the greatest freedom that anyone can have, man. So.

Totally. Shout out for doing that, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. I wasn't, I wasn't sure. Cause I was like, even when I'm posting, I'm like, Oh, they're going to think I'm soft, you know, like who am I? But it was a, it was a wild, wild thing. I know you have a new book coming out straight up. And, you know, I know you probably talk a lot about the things we've already discussed, but what are some of the biggest things in that book that you, you know, kind of inspired you to write it and what you've

been focusing on and, you know, why people might be interested in checking it out? it and what you've been focusing on and why people might be interested in checking it out? Yeah, man. So yeah, new book straight up, August 4th. I'm super excited about it, man, because it's targeted to the youth. When I say youth, probably anywhere from, I think, eight to 24. But I feel like it's for everybody still. I feel like someone my age, 35, can pick it up and learn a lot. And I just wanted to be, my motivation behind writing it was like, man, I wish I had, like, just someone be straight up with me about different things in my life. Like, not the watered down, the sugar-coated version of stuff. Like, why shouldn't I go do this? Like, why shouldn't I have sex as a teenager? Like, what's the real reason?

Like, or why shouldn't I do drugs? Whatever it may be. And this book is just straight up just with that. And it's an easy read, too. And I reached out to, you know, I was on my Snapchat. And I was like, hey, how many of y'all read books? And they're like, nobody was reading. Like, we're not reading nothing.

And I was like, well, okay, I got to make this an easy read. So I tell people, if you like, my last book, The Greatest You, was an easy read, but it's more for a reader. I tell people, if you like, you know, my videos, my messages, literally, like, I think you pick up this book and when you hear it or listen to it, when you hear it or read it, it's going to be like, you're going to be like, man, this is Trent. Like, this is Trent on video. This is it. So, uh, super easy.

I'm being, I think I have 52 topics that I'm touching on in 12 different sections, but literally you can read a topic in three minutes. What are some of your favorite topics from the book in terms of things that, uh, you know, you're being very direct and straight up about that. You, I'm assuming this is coming from a place of wishing you would have known this earlier, you know, in terms of, you know, my, my, my favorite ones, um, straight up about relationships. So that's relationships, friendships, um, you know, all in between, you know, teammates, everything, uh, that section is my favorite another section

is straight up about protecting your peace so the mental health component is another one also straight up about pain and suffering so using your past you know and some of these might be young people so I was like what paths don't have but some of these are future tools for them and put in their toolbox as they get older but But those sections, so I mean, I could talk about every section of the book, but those three, I think, really spoke to me. And it was like, man, I wish I would have had this that I think is going to speak to a lot of people. Yeah, specifically like the pain and suffering too, like having our ability to process those things, because that's really hard too, right? Anytime we feel pain or suffering,

probably the most relatable one out there is heartbreak right talking about relationships yeah how do we use that or what are some things you've done specifically to take that pain that you feel and like use it in a positive way and you know how do you do it in a productive amount of time because you know i've been i've been that person where i just eventually i got over things but i definitely it took me longer than it should have because i kind of wouldn't get out of this kind of you know destructive pattern of of you know almost like embracing the pain you know yeah um identifying with the pain and being afraid to let that go. Or have, you know, are there any things that, anything that, you know, in your book or that

you talk about that could be helpful with some of those things or things that you learned along the way when you were dealing with your own tragedies? Yeah, absolutely. So the first thing, I'll break it down in the simplest form, is understanding what pain produces, right? And there's a difference between experiencing pain, that's my garden spray in the simplest form is understanding what pain produces. Right. And there's a difference between experiencing pain. That's my daughter's friend in the background. There's a difference between experiencing pain and, you know, putting yourself through the same pain.

Like, I don't want you to like purposely say, OK, like I'm going to put myself in a bad friendship so I can feel this pain and learn from it. Sure. But I learned that pain has the power to create strength, right? Like anything we do, we know from a physical perspective, there's no way to get strong unless you put yourself, you break your muscles down and you put yourself in pain and be a tire. And I feel like it's the same thing in this world. Literally, I wouldn't be able to do what I do. I wouldn't be able to sit on here on this podcast, which I'm going to talk to you for this time, if it wasn't for the things that I went through. And so I try to really plant this seed in everybody's head that you're going through this for a bigger purpose. Your pain has a bigger purpose in the current moment. And so you either can surrender to your pain or you can make your

pain surrender to you. You can say, you know what, I'm going to make sure that since I had to go through this, so like COVID-19 right now, like to make sure that since I had to go through this, so like COVID-19 right now, like I'm making sure since I got to go through this, I'm going to get something beautiful out of it. You know, if I have to suffer somebody breaking my heart, okay, I'm going to get something beautiful out of it. If I got to suffer getting cut from a team, okay, what I'm going to learn from this, what's going to be the lesson that not just is going to help me, but help other people down the road. And so some of the things that I went through, I didn't really realize I had to go through these things to have a kid.

Now I'm teaching Tristan, like, oh, like, and it brings more healing to my life because I feel like healing is not a destination. It's a journey. I feel like we'll spend our whole entire life healing. And so I'm realizing like, oh, okay, cool. I went through that so I can help my son in certain things or help my daughters or help the kids that I coach. And I think when you start thinking about it like that and telling yourself pain is power, pain is power, then you will get yourself in a different mindset. with pain that really has changed my life is perspective. I always say your perspective can either be your power or your prison, period. What's a prison perspective? Somebody listening to this right now and saying, oh, that's easier said than done. And they think about all the

excuses why they can't do something. A power perspective is saying, you know what? That is easier said than done because everything in the world is, but no matter how hard it may be, I'm going to get it done. And that's the difference that separates people, right? Some people, you know, you see somebody who grew up with an alcoholic father or mother, whatever, and one kid, they become an alcoholic because of their dad. One kid is like, I'm never going to be that because of my dad. So what's the difference? It's just about perspective. And so I'm really teaching a lot of perspective points in this book for kids. I love that. I mean, if there's one thing, you know, I haven't had the

opportunity to be a father yet. But I think about that a lot and about being a father and how do you teach perspective? Because there's so many moments in my life when I was younger, where you just think you know everything you think you're old, you know, you think you have it all figured out and someone older tells you something you're just like, i mean it's different though like oh whatever and then even my friends i have or my younger siblings i'm just i'm trying how do i share perspective without being condescending or how do i in terms of but like perspective is kind of that is the ultimate uh i mean it's the key to i feel like it's like the key to life. If you can have perspective in your life that might be more advanced than maybe say your age or maturity

level, that's such a gift in terms of, you know, of doing that. And yeah, for the young person out there or, you know, whoever we are, you know, at any point in our life, there's plenty of people usually, you know, there's people older, you know, even when I'm 60 or whatever, there's going to be some like 90 year old person be like, yeah, I used to think that then. But, you know, but if we can just try to continue to get to open ourselves up and learn about different perspectives and see it differently. Yeah, I think the life gets so much easier. Yeah.

And then and then check ourselves along the way too because, yeah, I'll get in my ruts too and then have to be like, oh, wait, I'm looking at this differently. How do I reevaluate? How do I see it in a little bit of a different light? And then maybe that's where that empathy comes in that you talk so much about. Absolutely.

I wish, and it's hard for kids or just any younger, but I'm like, I always try to seek out elderly people. Like, and I wish I would have did it earlier. You know, I mean, even from the standpoint of our parents, we used to listen to some of the things, you know, we probably would have said ourselves a lot of trouble. And so I'm always trying to, like, get around, you know, have one grand one grandparents alive and have those prospective conversations, because usually they're right. lives and have those prospective conversations because usually they're right you know the things that my dad was telling me when you know when i was 15 now i'm 35 i'm like yeah he was right yeah so i just wish i would have listened more so i'm just trying to really help kids understand that in a in a way and i know it's tough at times because like with my son you know it's like okay

dad okay okay yeah no it's uh trying to help you down the line because you're gonna see it and you know sometimes you know and i one thing as parents i think and help is like you know really like putting yourself so i try to think as an 11 year old i'm talking to tristan okay cool like well what can i tell him that you know probably at 12 he's going to experience when he gets there you can like oh my dad was right so he can kind of build that thing of like you know dad is probably telling me the truth you know as there, he can like, oh, my dad was right. So he can kind of build that thing of like, you know, dad is probably telling me the truth, you know, as best as he can. So it's always a journey, you know,

with trying to connect with kids on that level. Yeah, no, it is a challenge. And when you're younger, parents are like, you know, how you sometimes look at our spouses in relationships. I'm sure you and your wife sometimes too. You're just like, they'll say something, you're like, Oh, yeah, okay. And then someone else will say, you're like, that makes total sense. And then your spouse will be like, I literally just said that to you a week ago. Yeah, we have we have a way of kind of tuning out people closest to us. And sometimes we just

need to start hearing it from different, different people to kind of, you know, reaffirm and reassure ourselves that, you know, you know, maybe it's our pride, you know, ignoring, um, you know, some of the words of wisdom that, you know, people who love us are trying to, to share. Uh, it's that constant battle of trying to, uh, deal with our own, our own bullshit to try to get the information we really need and, and, and not listen to some of the information that is, is harmful to our, our mental health or emotional wellbeing. You know,

that is a, that is the constant challenge. But yeah, you know, Trent, this has been a lot of fun. I really appreciate you sharing before, before we let you go,

are you down for playing a quick little game called the, do you know me that we play with all our guests? It's kind of a fun, fun way to get to know our guests that we have on the show. Real simple. It's called Do You Know Me? I'm going to ask some questions. Don't answer right away. So Chris, you and I are going to guess.

And if you have a fun anecdotal story about what the answer is, feel free to share a simple yes or no. So you all are going to answer it? I'll ask the question, and then we'll guess what the answer is, feel free to share a simple yes or no. So y'all can answer it. I'll ask the question, and then we'll guess what the answer is, and then we'll go from there. All right. Do you know me with our boy Trent? Question number one, does Trent like camping? Does Trent like camping?

I don't. I don't know what else to say about Trent. Say it again. Does Trent like camping? Oh. So actually, I love nature. I love nature. I love protecting my peace, but I always say I don't like the things in nature.

So yes and no. It sounds like you like to glamp, Trent, like I do. Yeah. I was going to say yes because he does so many nature videos. Surprising. Yeah, I love nature. I probably would. I love nature too. I like going out walking and I like nature. And when I'm done, I want to go home and take a hot shower and lie in my comfortable bed I don't like this idea of um so yeah that's a that's a no all right has Trent ever been on a parade float like were you in a parade I'm gonna say you have I'm gonna say yes too it's true I lived in New Orleans so For 12 years so yeah I've been on a parade Okay Alright is Trent

More of a Batman Or a Superman fan Well first of all Does Trent like comic books I do I'm going to say He's a Batman fan I'm going to say he's a Batman fan I'm going to say Superman

I don't I feel like Batman might be more popular than Superman only for the simple fact that Superman's cheating you know it's like he's Superman when Batman gets it done you're like I don't know I don't know how he did it

but man that wasn't easy and when Superman does it you're like well yeah he just like thought Batman gets it done, you're like, I don't know. I don't know how he did it, but man, that wasn't easy. And when Superman does it, you're like, well, yeah, he just like thought it and it happened. I'm going to go with Batman. Yeah. I think Batman is dope. Question number four. Does Trent prefer mayo or mustard?

Well, I can't stand mayo and I love mustard. Most people say mayo. So I'm going to say mayo. I'll say mustard. Mustard for sure. I'll eat mayo. Mayo has to be in something for me to eat it like tuna fish. When I get a burger, it's no mayo. Oh, see?

That's my boy. I'm with you on that. He eats mayonnaise so much. I can't stand it. All right, last question. Has Trent ever told a dad joke in the past month to his kids? I don't know. I don't think Trent's a dad joke guy.

I think he's around a lot of kids and he does a lot of youth stuff. I bet he pulls out a good dad joke. Yeah, but I don't know. Trent doesn't seem like a corny guy you know like and I don't mean that in a bad way like a good corny joke but I'm gonna say no no I haven't you're right doesn't strike me Trent this has been a ton of fun. I really appreciate you joining us and sharing your perspective about life and your story. And I think it's been a great opportunity for myself and my audience to learn a little bit about how we can see things differently.

So I want to thank you for coming on. Thanks, Nick. I appreciate to thank you for coming on. Thanks, Nick. I appreciate you, man. Thanks for sharing your platform and asking great questions. I always say the quality of the podcast or the interview is the person asking the questions. You ask great questions, man. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

It's very nice of you to say. Before I let you go, can you just remind people where they can find you? Yeah, just at Trent Shelton, Facebook, Instagram, all that cool stuff. You just put in my name, I'll pop up. So I appreciate you guys. My pleasure. Well, thanks for listening, guys.

As always, we appreciate you tuning in. Don't forget to send in your questions at asknickatcastmedia.com, cast with a K. Don't forget to send in your five star reviews on iTunes because you know we like those. Other than that make sure to tune in again on Monday for another Ask Nick episode.

We will see you next time.