The Viall Files - E149 Bachelor Recap & Hot Goss with Trista Sutter

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

We are recapping the recap with the one and only, Trista Sutter. Trista and Nick go through how the rules of the show were established, how sex positivity has grown in the media and on the show, and, of course, talk about how being the first of an iconic franchise has affected her life 18 years later. It’s a fun conversation with the woman who was there to see how everything started … even Chris Harrison’s fashion. “It’s a mouthwash marathon." Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode!  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS:  ISSUU: issuu.info/VIALL INTELLIWHITE: tryindiglow.com CODE: VIALL Episode Socials: @ViallFiles  @nickviall @thekrissylindquist @tristasutter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what's going on everybody happy monday night tuesday morning or whenever the hell you find it in your schedule to get to us uh welcome to another bachelor recap i gotta say i i did enjoy this um one a little bit more differently and maybe better because i've never seen these two episodes and it was so fascinating uh to watch uh chrissy hi hi by the way welcome hi how are you welcome welcome to this journey um yeah it was it was a lot of fun i don't know what the people at home listening thought but i i'd never seen this shit so it uh it was wild to see the differences not only just the show itself chris harrison the bad fashion the the people on the show uh how alex and trista uh you know interacted but more specifically the cast and kind of their naivety

that they had relative to people who go on the show now. It was a ton of fun. And we have the legendary Trista on, our first Bachelorette in Bachelor history, to have a fun conversation about it. And she shares some interesting insight about her

experience. It was fun catching up with Trista and talking about it. Anything going on Goss-wise in the world that we need to address before we get to Trista? Is there anything going on? In the hot Goss? They seem to be. What, they're going to start filming Claire's season, I guess, right?

Yeah, they're going to start filming Claire's season. There's a lot of talk about like how there's like concerns about them doing it safely like health-wise like the two big things everyone kept talking about this week was like hey listen if they're gonna be sequestered that's cool but like the people who are actually running the the like place that they're at those people aren't sequestered so um how is that health-wise and then also like family things yeah i i don't know what they're going to do we're in listen we're in crazy times and and every i mean honestly like at this point i'm just kind of going about life like the world could end tomorrow so like fuck it i'm

just gonna do what makes me happy zoom with the families um but you know they're you know basketball's about to start baseball's about to start but at the same time it seems like corona's picking up again so who knows right like who really knows everything could shut down in a week we don't know um yeah i do know that the good people that i know from the franchise are very cautious and health concerned and yes there, there's no situation where they can guarantee that someone isn't going to get it, right? But it sounds like they're going to take every step measurable. Every step measurable? Does that make any sense to ensure their safety? And listen, I don't know. But that will be an interesting element because it wouldn't shock me if at least

one if not more uh of the of the guys get corona and if one gets it especially in that instance where everyone's making out is it like basically everyone gonna get it i don't it's a it's a wild thing i didn't even think about the makeout things um but they're they're probably also like you're like stuck together too right aren't you all living together? Do you get your own... Without question, the cast members, like I've said this last week, they're going to go more insane because they're not traveling

and there's going to be tighter restrictions. Again, they're not going to be able to roam around the hotel or wherever they are more than they would. They can't risk anyone getting it. So are there other staff members? But they'll probably have very limited staff members or wherever they are more than they would they're just they can't risk anyone getting it so are there other staff members but they'll probably have very limited staff members and maybe maybe they'll negotiate with the hotel and pay the maybe the show will like hey give us 10 people from your staff who are willing to like fucking abandon their and we'll yeah and then they're like we'll

pay them x number of dollars. I don't know. I mean, there's probably a handful of scenarios, and I can see them doing that to ensure the safety of the cast and crew. It's entirely possible. But we don't know those details, and I'm sure they've had plenty of Zoom meetings about it to talk about it. But it will be a –

Listen, I think if, if this season of Claire's actually gets shot, especially this year during this pandemic, it will go down in history for a lot of reasons. Obviously Claire being Claire, the bachelorette and being 39. But as we look back, what was that season like, you know, especially if that's a blip on the radar in terms of how they had to film it.

You know, there'll be so many new questions to ask. Like, you know, imagine like, you know, we'll have some of the guys on the show, you know, and questions are going to be so much more fascinating to talk about what it was like in that scenario and what did the show do and what were some of the safety precautions that they took. Well, are all things I think we're all very fascinated about.

And, and I guess they hope, I hope they get through it and I, and I hope everyone's safe, but it will be fascinating to, to find out. So yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Cassie, you know, popped in, you know, she's sad and, you know, but you know,

she's sad. Like build up, the buildup to these things is like so much for it to be like i don't want to talk about it and i'm in pain chris made it seem like yeah that was the overall chris made it seem like one of trista's uh uh suitors from 18 years ago were gonna call up and be like what the fuck did you send me home? And it was, you know,

it's a very sweet. And it was her husband. Hey babe. Hey babe, I'm in the back room. I mean, no, I mean,

I was, it was sweeter than that, but yeah, listen, I wonder if he knows what's coming on the other end of those teases because like those teases, man, it's,

it's hard. It's hard to tease anything. And you know, and you know, it's coming, you know, you know man it's it's hard it's hard to tease anything and you know and you know it's coming you know you know it's not coming basically you know it's not a thing but you hold on in there just to see if actually it will come like with the emails with caitlin is like all these are emails as if like i mean listen had we read them that would have been like juicy but i was like yeah there were emails all right next i can't wait i can't wait till you get to your season of like uh like we have big news nick roller skates that's the big news i uh i'm gonna launch my roller skating tutorial uh thanks for uh thanks for

filming my last roller skating video. Chrissy was my... All the other Hanging With Me videos, I actually did on my own in my house, but it was a little harder roller skating outside. So Chrissy was my camera man, camera woman, if you will. Nicely done. It was the best one. I'm a jack of all trades.

I do it all. Well, I think we should just get to Trista before we ramble too much. Make sure to check us out tomorrow. Fantastic episode. One I absolutely enjoyed doing. Legendary Candace Kane, who is a

pioneer and innovator in the trans community. We have a fantastic conversation about a topic that, quite frankly, I'm very ignorant about, have a lot of questions, don't understand a lot. If you're listening to this now, check out Disclosure on Netflix. It's a documentary about the trans community. I think it's a nice setup to the conversation I have with Candice.

But if you don't have the time, you'll still enjoy it. She's fun. She's talented. She's lovable and has some great insight so make sure to check us out tomorrow and as always send your questions at ask nick at cast me.com cast with a k and without further ado let's get to trista trista thanks for coming on thanks for having me i'm excited me too um it's not the first time it's not the first time we met. True.

We met at the Jane and Tanner's wedding. And a group of us all went out to dinner somewhere. It was a ton of fun. Because it was like a handful of fairly recent alumni at the time. And then a handful of more of kind of the first gen, if you will. Dinosaurs, if you will dinosaurs if you will you know you you your husband bob guinea was there that was a yeah uh it was a i had a ton of fun so it's nice to talk to you again and go down go down memory lane i gotta say as far as as far as these goat episodes these greatest of all times I actually

thoroughly enjoyed watching this one because you know for me like every all these other seasons uh I was pretty familiar with the people in it and you know I'd watched I mean I didn't watch Sean's but I'd seen enough clips and it was still pretty modern but this was an absolute like throwback and it was it was wild to see the first one. I had so many thoughts as I was watching it. How was it for you going back? I mean, you were a part of it. For me, it was just kind of the culture shock of being like,

holy shit, this was The Bachelor? This was the launching pad of 18 years of success. No kidding, right? I mean, honestly, I just did a little article for Vanity Fair, or no, for Variety, and they wanted me to recap my favorite moments from Bachelor history. And one of them, the first one actually, wasris harrison starting it all off in the backyard of the bachelor mansion with that oversized suit i mean it was huge yeah the the suit game um was was terrible um as someone who was it double-breasted yeah it might have been double ased it was awful

as someone who prides himself and I'm a bit of a suit snob it was really gross watching no I know it is crazy to go back I'm so excited that they're doing these because it's really

honestly selfishly to be able to show my kids in a very... I thought you were going to say Instagram followers, you know, but no. Oh, no, no. I'm kidding. I'm joking. I'm joking. Hey, if you want to follow me, no, I'm just kidding.

So my kids, I will be able to show them a condensed version of our of my, my, our season, you know, how me and their dad fell in love and not have to deal with kind of the minutia that they don't need to be concerned with. You know, it's part of my story and it ultimately is part of their story too. But, um, it's, it's a lot easier to digest when it's a recap. It's a highlight. Yeah, that makes sense. It's like, yeah, mom, dad, just give me the cliff notes. I don't need to know the juicy details of how I was made. Right. But it seems like there was way less making out back then too.

Way less. Okay. So I'm going to gonna i will tell you why um well one of the reasons why so um when i was on the bachelor everything was fine you know whatever we didn't know what we were doing it was totally innocent um at the time not totally innocent but it was more innocent i should say and um then i get to Bachelorette and they announced me and all of these press outlets and journalists and anyone in the media, not anyone, there were nice people, but there were a handful of people that were saying, you're going to look like a slut and you're going to look like a hussy. And the press. In the press. Like I did a press junket with Fleiss and Harrison and I can't remember who else, but I did a press junket. And I remember a lady saying,

a lady saying um how are you going to how are you going to behave so that you don't come off looking like a hussy and i was like wow i mean that's that that makes it sound like it was like the first season was 1950s because like that's no right that's something like a bitter like facebook mom would write now and And now it's like, you know, the press tends to be, you know, more sex positive and more, you know, well, let's just say that they tend to be more sex positive nowadays. But now from the fact that that was from the press. So, you know, imagine what like the people at home were thinking who were more conservative. like that's that's probably someone who's more progressive asking those types of questions and that's that's wild

to think uh and that again crazy 18 years ago isn't not that long uh no not that long at all think about just how conservative we were about uh sex and then how double standard we were in terms of about women. How sexist the premise, like this, The Bachelor has a sexist premise, right? Especially when it's just one guy. And then like you said, you have The Bachelorette and you said it on the recap with Chris.

They've come a long way, but they're still, I mean, we had talked. Caitlyn was absolutely slut shamed her entire season. And it's wild to think. It's crazy. Well, I love creating. I do. I do. I love creating. You are creative. And I hate it's wild to think it's, it's crazy. Well, I love creating. I do. I do. I love creating and I, I hate, uh, I hate it. I absolutely hate it when I have like amazing content and I'm

just like, well, this is good for the gram and this is good for Instagram or other platforms. I like, I like it to have it be easy. So listen, if you live to create, but you don't live to worry over the last nitpicky details involved in putting final touches on content, do what you do best and let issue handle the rest. Ooh, that rhymes. I love a good copy of that rhymes, Chrissy. I mean, it's so good. Well, that's how you know how creative issue is because they're even coming up with rhymes. But really, issue is an all-in-one platform to create and distribute beautiful digital publications from brochures to magazines to sales, collateral, and more. Or just like amazing, just like fun, funny content, you know.

But it's very functional. So if you're a creator, a marketer, a designer, educator, publisher, salespeople, anyone who wants to make eye-catching content, Issue is the website for you. You're like a creative person. Don't you like ever write anything and when you're like done editing it, you're like, now what do I do with it? Like you're creative like that. Issue is like the place you can do it. You can like take your stuff, put it online and it goes distributed. You can distribute it once everywhere. Everything's optimized and you can post it on your website and your social platforms. And they can even help you get animated Instagram stories. Animated Instagram stories?

Sold. Yeah, it can animate your Instagram stories. Sold, sold, sold, sold. Simply upload your PDF files and issue transforms them using your vision and customizable templates to create the content you want. And Issue is used by millions of people to discover new content. So even you'll reach even more readers once you publish the Issue. Best of all, it's free.

So get started with Issue. Go to issue.info slash V-I-A-L-L to sign up for your free account. That is I-S-S-U-U dot info slash V-I-A-L-L to sign up and let them know you heard it from our show. Remember, that's dot info, not dot com. So go to I-S-S-U-U dot info slash V-I-A-L-L to set up your free account today. But look at it.

It's seriously ridiculous. Look at Chrissy's teeth. Well, I mean, if you're watching this, you can see how shiny her teeth are. But if you're listening to this, take our word for it. It's seriously ridiculous. Look at Chrissy's teeth. Well, I mean, if you're watching this, you can see how shiny her teeth are. But if you're listening to this, take our word for it. Chrissy won't shut up about her teeth. It's the Indiglo system by Intel and White. And Chrissy's been using it for a week longer than I have.

I've been really excited. My teeth have definitely gotten whiter, which I'm impressed because of the coffee I drink. I thought I reached a point of no return. But it turns out i have not and i get i give all the credit to the indigo system by intelliwhite and they have this purple light which apparently is better than the blue light because it's not rough on your enamel it the purple light apparently technology it's safer it's faster and it's better at breaking up the dental stains that are outdated by blue light systems. No more blue lights. If I were blue, I would die.

I have sensitive teeth, so it's zero sensitivity. No, my teeth haven't gotten sensitive at all since using it. It's super easy. But I'm winning the smile contest. If you're listening right now and you're driving, look in the mirror and ask yourself, do I need this product? I'm guessing the chances is you do.

So right now our listeners can get $50 off the new Indiglo teeth whitening system, but you have to go to tryindiglo.com and use promo code V-I-A-L-L. That's T-R-Y-I-N-D-I-G-L-O-W.com and use promo code V-I-A-L-L. So how did you answer that question, by the way, when you were asked? I mean, I don't remember. Nick, I have no memory. I literally don't remember anything about my life, what I did yesterday or 18 years ago. So I don't remember what I said. I think if I had to answer that again, I would say that's not part of my MO.

I'm going into this to find love. And if I need to kiss a few frogs to find my prince, then that's what I'm going to do. I don't intend to come off as a slut or a hussy, but this is my journey and I'm going to do it how I see fit. Let me ask you this. When you got asked the question, were you, I'm assuming you were shocked and put off guard, but then did that make you self-conscious? Oh, for sure. And that is why I bring up that question because I went into The Bachelorette with that in the back of my mind thinking, holy cow, I cannot, I can't kiss all these guys because I'm going to look like a hussy, you know?

So I was very conservative. Yeah, it's a totally double standard, you know? It hasn't been too long where it's like, oh, she's just making out with everybody. I mean, that's a criticism I hear of every lead to a certain extent. It's just like, it's not, it's not us. These people get nervous and bored. They don't know what they do to do.

So they grab our faces and they stick their tongues down our throat. And at the risk of not look like an asshole, I just go along with it. You know, I didn't have that. I didn't have the guys doing that. They were they were pretty respectful. And I think that they probably were told by the producers to roll. Yeah. Like, you know, hold back a little bit. Let her lead. Let her let her go. Take the lead. Yeah. let her go 90 take the lead yeah so anyway um yeah and and you know what honestly because of what happened to me on the bachelor and how he didn't pick me in the end and i thought he was going to because he told me right before that he was going to of course he was going to tell me when i put him on the spot he said he was going to pick me and i went into the bachelorette thinking, I need to be super

cautious, um, about this process. I really need to, um, have it be very cerebral and I need to think this through. And so for me, it was, yes, physical intimacy is super important. And so for me, it was, yes, physical intimacy is super important. Kissing all the things, you know, it was high up on my list of priorities. But I felt like if I didn't have that chemistry with someone, then why? Why kiss them? Why, like, not waste the effort? I was just a bit more conservative. And honestly, I kind of wish that more people were because I feel like just like you're saying, I feel like a lot of people are kissing just because they don't have anything to talk about.

I actually I would agree that as someone who has been the bachelor, I appreciate some of how it was the nervous the nervousness like i'm very sex positive if you make out with whoever you want but in the context of the show uh yes you wish that like you know when was the last time even the the horniest of guys don't walk into bars and make out with 30 girls you're just like at some point it just becomes kind of a hygiene problem right you know and so yeah it's not that fun for anyone i'm like it sounds maybe fun but it's truly not and you kind of wish you would just like get to know some people have it progress and then like you know a couple conversations in with a handful of people then maybe you go there but like it uh it's really turned into uh like a mouthwash marathon uh i know some episodes

you're like really like you're gonna kiss that many people and whatever just like you said if that is their process then i fully respect it well it's less of the it's less it's less of the process than just like right here we're like pure awkwardness imagine if the bachelor like kind of went like swerved his face when a girl came in for a kiss because it's like he's just like you're the you know because you know you don't know how it's going to be edited you don't know so maybe it's the the 15th conversation he's had that night he's exhausted but they want to air it as like one of the first ones and he's just like oh you know excuse me yeah yeah going back to the first season of which you were a part of i mean one thing

i kind of got a kick out of is that it was just kind of fascinating watching chris talk as the host kind of like you said like the best moments because he was really kind of he was telling america like these are the rules of this totally fucked up scenario and i remember him being like to uh what was his name the bachelor for michelle alex and he was like alex hey are you ready to date a bunch of women and if they break up with you we're gonna air it in front of the entire nation and chris higher world chris says it like you're insane dude like he doesn't say it now or chris like chris has this way now of like saying the most insane shit and making it totally normal like well yeah i guess of course i will do that man like the way you say it i mean i how crazy i would be not to but ch Chris and his first season, he was like,

this is fucking nuts. Are you ready to do this, man? And I'm thinking if Chris would just say that shit to me before, like, if their producers were like, Hey, you think you're ready to do this? I'd be like, right? No, I'm going to totally keep my job and not risk this. When you say it like that, man, like I'm good. It was so funny to listen to him kind of like say the rules. But what did you think of Alex as the bachelor? And let me ask this and like, no, no shame in Alex, but he just looks like you're kind of typical guy you know yeah um little dorky

uh maybe in an endearing way you know the Harvard things went to Harvard and Stanford but you I would like I would have imagined them picking like some sort of like uh you know young you know JFK jr kind of guy from back in the day. And I mean, this really isn't a question for you, more like the producers who might have, you know, or Mike Fleiss, but like they, it was their first show. They had the entire nation to cast. I'm just curious why they went that direction.

It was kind of, and I'm curious, like what your thoughts were of, did you have an expectation of like, oh, they're going to pick, you know, a Prince, you know, I know they had a Prince one seeds and are like, and again, this is not a disrespect to him. It was just like, you would think it would be in a cool way. It was this kind of like a, you just a guy, you know? And I thought that was kind of fascinating. So I, um, I remember being, um, fascinating. So I, um,

I remember being, um, interviewed with the casting directors when I flew, when they flew me to LA and they, I think they showed me a picture of them and I was like, Oh, that's cute. Um, it was,

it was just a picture of him. I think holding a video camera. I mean, we used to have video cameras back in the day, not phones, you know? So he was holding a video camera. And, and he looked like he looked tall, dark, handsome, kind of, you know, I was attracted to that. I was more attracted to kind of on paper. Like you said, the Stanford, the Harvard, he had been well traveled, he was a family guy. for the Harvard. He had been well-traveled. He was a family guy. I can't even remember all the little bits and pieces, but I was honestly really attracted to what he could be on paper.

And then I got there and it wasn't like there was instant chemistry. There wasn't um for me at least looking back and maybe in the moment there was but hindsight of course is 2020 and so looking back at it i i don't know that there was instant chemistry but i you know i stayed around because we had good conversations and and i was interested enough yeah yeah i was just more wondering the moment where I think you said like you're in like with him. I did. Yeah. I told him I was in like, not in love. And that may have been why, that may have been what saved my whole future.

Because if I had told him that I was in love, maybe he would have picked me. I don't know. Well, I got to say, watching it back, there was a genuine amount of innocence. Yeah. Because it was all new, right? People could say logical, normal shit like, I've known you for five weeks. And so, yeah, I like you. And now people and now, you know, people go on having watched 10 seasons, five seasons,

three seasons, 18 seasons. I don't know of the bachelor bachelorette and you know, where, where Chris is like telling America and the cast people like how this show works, everyone's kind of like, all right, well, what do we do next? And now it's just like, everyone knows their own cues no but here's my here's my favorite part of the of the bachelor recap when he was breaking up with the one girl who was like all pissed off right and she was and they showed that they showed the uh exit and he goes she's just walking out to a car and he's just like, we're going to stop here at the bench, which if you watch it, it sounds super fucking weird for someone to say that in a breakup.

But that what he's doing is it's like, he's recognized that the producer said like, Hey, you're going to break up with her. You're going to like hit your mark and you're going to have a conversation with her by the bench. And so like, he was just being very like,

all right, well, we're going to stop here. It was like, she's like what why you would just arbitrarily stop here at the bed yeah it was so it was so great to like watch that and know like how it works and they kind of um but what i'm saying is like even people who watch it now who go on or maybe be contestants or eventually like um you know be the leads like they know that conversations happen on park benches or they know there's a hot tub and they know all these things

right so they're just kind of go along with it they're like sure man like a 201 sounds normal to me i love group dates i'm super grateful to be here like it's insane now like what contestants are just like goal and even america america is like why are you so ungrateful to go on this group with eight other people so funny no you are so don't you guys do like group dates of like 12 why did you do dates of like 12 they they were like made a big deal about it because they were like oh he took five girls with him to vegas but now you take like 14 you're right you are so right oh my gosh i haven't thought about that now if you do that the girls

would be like hey man maximize your time asshole i've only had four minutes with you no and you're right the verbiage like um is that how you say it verbibiage? Verbiage? That comes along with the show. Everyone knows what to say and what to do and how to act. And back then we had no freaking clue, like no clue. So yes, a lot has changed. it was a very interesting, very interesting process being part of the first because we didn't have anything to go on. You know, I think that was another, I I'm glad you brought up that point. Nick is for us, the taping was only six weeks and, and I was just, I was like, well, I might get engaged to this guy and I like him enough. Um, and I'm willing to kind of take that leap because I figure why not, but, um, saying yes to an engagement in real life compared to a product, a produced show is you would have way more time. Normally I, your parents, right. Didn't they get, um,

I remember this about your, your parents, didn't they meet and getting, get married super quick. Yeah. I mean, they got engaged, I think in nine months or something like that. And then, yeah. So there are times when it happens and it lasts and you know that it was the right thing in real life, you know, especially now. Yeah. Right. But, um, back then I think I was just willing to go through the process and say, Hey, whatever, if we get engaged, we get engaged and then we'll figure it out afterwards. But in real life, I, I, although I do have to say, I'm sorry, I'm going all over the

place. When you were on the show and you know this, you don't have phones, you don't have work, you don't have family, you don't have friends, you don't have anything to take over your mind and you can solely focus on the other person. So six weeks, even though that seems like a very short period of time in bachelor land, it's, it's a little bit longer. It's all intense. Yeah. It's intense.

We're in a bubble. Yeah. So, yeah, it was a bubble, but I was just in like, and I didn't feel like I needed to say that I was in love. And I feel like now they feel that pressure to say that they're falling in

love or they're in love so that they can stick around or that they can show that they're invested and back then i just didn't feel the need you know yeah i know so they didn't get in you know there was no engagement on on alex's season and you were the third season overall aaron so they had another bachelor and then you were the bachelorette is that correct yeah Aaron Berge was the second yeah and and then you were so did it and did Aaron Berge get engaged you know I don't know I believe he did okay because I was wondering like what did so let me ask you this where did you have like by the time I was the bachelor um they didn't ask me if I wanted to get engaged when they brought out some rings and I was like all right yeah like that was the expectation they didn't make me do it they didn't force me to do

it it was just hey man today's the day you're getting engaged you're like oh yeah great you know like guess we'll figure it out later, buddy. Will you marry me? But that couldn't have been the case then. It was only the third season. Again, you had probably a lot more innocence than people have the luxury of being now. Were there a lot of conversations with you and producers back then about like, hey, man, like, are you ready to get engaged? I mean, obviously you're married.

You have this loving family. You are a true success story in life in your relationship, let alone like the Bachelor franchise. But, you know, were there were you just like all in because you were so in love? Or was it like, hey, man, let's get engaged to one of these guys and figure it out later? No, I was I was invested. I was ready. I knew he was the one. And I know that sounds like cliche, but it's the truth. I mean, again, you're, you're, you're, you guys are an incredible success story in life. So you have the luxury.

I think you have the benefit of no one doubting your sincerity with that question. Well now, I mean, I remember sitting on a couch with Simon Cowell. We were doing this photo shoot for some magazine. I can't remember. And he was like, oh, I give you two weeks or three weeks or whatever. And I'm like, I'm sorry, but I'll prove to you that we are the real deal. You know, we love each other.

And it might sound crazy, but it literally is the real deal. You know, we, we love each other and it might sound crazy, but it's, it, it literally is the real thing. So, um, so yeah, no, I didn't feel pressure. I mean, I remember having conversations with Lisa Levinson and Jason Carbone who were exec producers back then. And, um, you know, them asking if I, if I was ready, but it was more like a conversation I had with a friend. It wasn't any, a pressured situation from a producer. I didn't feel it at least. No, that's nice to hear. I feel like, was it a part of your contract?

Did they say anything in your contract? Do you remember? No. To get engaged? Yeah. Was it in yours? I don't know. I'd be interested to look back and see.

I doubt it. I don't think you can contractually obligate someone. Right, true. I don't know. Well, they couldn't have because multiple people haven't gotten engaged. Yeah, you don't need to. I mean, like I said, the pressure people put on themselves and the audience i mean at this it was your third season again because like you watch the first season america's learning like what is this and now you know bachelor nation is judge and jury

on their own you know in terms of like deciding what's wrong we're deciding what's okay uh you know uh things like that and um did you feel that as the as the as the first like as it was airing obviously social media didn't exist certainly not what it is right now or didn't really exist at all um the internet existed but like at the same time for like great ratings now you know literally like a third of the country was watching your season i think like your wedding had like 30 million view viewers something like that like nothing gets 30 million viewers like uh you know the bachelor bachelor was 20 million yeah the bachelor it was the bachelor finale now would like you get8 million and you're a rock star.

$8 or $10. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah, it was definitely a different time where we couldn't go anywhere without being recognized. And I know you can't. People now still can't, but I think it's because a lot of it's because of social media. We did have message boards. because a lot of it's because of social media.

We did have message boards and those were actually on the ABC website. So they had a link to message boards where people could go on. And it was, it was kind of like the, the toddler version of social media where people could go and put their comments on this message board. It was kind of like a reddit um you know like a like a thread yeah and so people would start a thread and then uh just comment for sure yeah so um so people could go on there and just you know go off on everything and anything and they did um so there were there was a lot of hatred even

back then but i feel like even more now it's really hard to navigate with social media um you just have a lot of people who like to sit behind their computer and be cowardice and and comment on strangers who they've only seen on television. How, how long did it take you before you were like, I got to stop reading this shit? Oh my God, Nick,

I did not stop. I, I kept telling myself, stop freaking doing it. It's ridiculous. These people don't know you, but I, it's, oh,

I was so drawn to it. I was, I just could not stop. It was like a train wreck. It was a total train wreck and I needed to keep watching. So I, I drawn to it. I just could not stop. It was like a train wreck. It was a total train wreck and I needed to keep watching. So, yeah. I wanted to know. Thanks for being honest.

I'm a people pleaser. I am total people pleaser. And so, I wanted to know if I was pleasing the people. Did it affect your decisions in life? No. That's good. Well, that's a good question i don't know because i i only it was while things were airing no i don't think it affected decisions it's just i'm a really

sensitive person and that kind of stuff really affects me um i try i couldn't imagine yeah i couldn't imagine let it but but yeah. And again, this is 18 years ago when a progressive reporter asks you, what are you going to do to not look like a hoe by kissing a guy? So I can only imagine what these message boards were of, of bored housewives with too much time on their hands. From, from 18 years ago. Bored housewives with too much time on their hands. You know. From 18 years ago.

But also shout out to bored housewives for listening to my podcast. Hey, I was going to say, that's kind of me. That's me. Full circle. Yeah, no, listen, we all get bored sometimes we we uh involve ourselves with shit that we really don't care about and obviously you're like why am i so invested in this meaningless meaningless topic uh especially during quarantine yeah come on so yeah i got i got a question for you when he was sending home i'm just gonna call her bench girl because for me that was Shannon. Bench girl.

Bench girl. Shannon. Shout out to Shannon. She was in her interview with Harrison. She was like, well, what people didn't see is we had some off-camera time before. Was she referring to the fantasy suite or was she referring to other off-camera time? And my question to you is, and I've heard rumors about this in the past, like, was there off-camera time allowed more often back then than there is now? Yes.

Yes. At least on the first Bachelor. The first Bachelorette, I did have a little bit more off camera time. Like, um, Ryan and I came to Vail for his hometown date and, um, we had some time like in the car, he handed me this note where he told me he was falling in love with me in an, in a note. And we had a little time there. We had a little time in st louis when i we went to my hometown and um so i feel like i don't i don't know how it is these days obviously because i'm not on there's exceptions to every scenario uh but for the most part if it's if it's not on camera it's not happening if it's not on camera, it's not happening. If it's not the suite, there's no, honestly. And that might have happened because, um, on the first bachelor,

after the finale was over, I was good friends with Lisa and Mike. And I'm like, you guys, we had no closure and not understanding what the show was all about because I didn't realize that when you're done, you're done. Like, you don't talk to the guy. You don't talk to the girl. Like, you're just done. Sure. And I was like, I need closure. Like, this is strange.

I was thinking I was going to get engaged and now I can't talk to this guy. Like, this is fucked up. It sucks. So they arranged for me to have a conversation with him on the phone and i just said you know i think he made a mistake and he went on to say i think i made a mistake can i come over to your hotel room what oh yeah oh yeah do people know about this you know i've talked about it before in the past. Yeah. But that conversation, Mike and Lisa were like, we are only going to allow you to talk to him if we can have a camera in the room.

Not a camera guy. It was like they set up a camera and they were like, we just want to tape it just in case something happens. So I think they've learned through the process over the years that they need to have everything recorded because every you never know if there's an amazing moment that happens and it's not recorded they're like ah shit um right no context yeah i i don't want specifics and certainly not even from your point of view but i i would i would be remiss if i didn't ask because i'll be honest, when Bench Girl was talking, she kind of made it seem like, she kind of made it seem like they hooked up.

I doubt that. Okay. And so- Big time. My general question overall and some of this kind of off-camera time, were there ever hookups that were never mentioned? Have you heard any rumors about kind of

that generation or or was it all just like maybe off camera time but just talking but not like i've heard i've heard stuff like the bachelors in the past like might have been intimate with a few girls throughout the filming of the season that just was oh Oh, wow. But I mean, who knows? That could be just so off base by like... That's why I ask if there's any... I would think someone in your position would have heard that if it were true. I can attest that it has happened. Yes.

Okay, all right. I had some time with Ryan. Okay, oh, great. That was off camera. and it wasn't like, God, I remember we were on our Seattle, the Seattle date, the fantasy suite date. And I, he had never watched the show before. Of course, there were only two that he could have watched, but he had never watched it. And so I hand him the card and it's one of my favorite moments in bachelor history. Um, I hand him the card and he's like reading it. Oh, Chris Harrison says, if we want to forego our individual suites, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, check please. And he was right. He was like off to the races he's like get me back to the hotel room right now so we get back to the hotel room and jason carbone is there with um you know the camera crew and we made out

on the couch jason is who's jason in this jason was one of the producers executive producer yeah so um we made on the couch made out on the couch for hours. Hours and hours. Like just kissing, petting, you know, whatever. Sounds like middle school. Oh, totally. It was totally middle school. So, oh God, don't say that. My kids are in middle school.

So it's high school. Let's say it's high school. And this is 18 years later. Oh God, don't say that. So anyway um we're on the couch we're kissing for hours and finally we were like dude get out of here we're not giving you any more footage like this is all you're getting you're getting kissing you're getting petting that's all you're gonna get so we made them leave and that was a fantasy suite moment so of course they're going to give you um some alone time but yeah we had we had time in st louis at my hotel room um so i know it it's happened in my life i can't say what's happened with anyone else i mean like that is

kind of nuts to think about because obviously you know the things that happened with caitlin and i they made such a big deal about it you know right true yeah and maybe they wanted to stay away from it on my season because oh my god they could have never have done no way the whole double standard thing was just uh i mean again fast forward 15 years later cait Caitlin got slut shamed for it. And it was really, really nasty. That is, that is wow. But it is crazy. I mean, it's, you know what? So you did this 17, 16 years ago. I, you know, I wasn't a fan of the show,

but you were so, you two were so popular at the time that I absolutely remember you being the bachelorette. It was such like part of American culture. I remember you being. How old were you? Five. You know, no. God, I wish.

I wish. I was 18, 17. It was 2003. I don't know. I was like 20, 21. It was 2003. I don't know. I was like 20, 21? 20. 22? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It was a little too far behind us. I know. Fucking hell. Sorry, I totally interrupted you. No, it's fine. But no, I remember.

And like, you know, talk about a good run. You know, 15 minutes of fame, know it's it's pretty crazy i mean honestly when i first saw the the casting in my couch in miami on my couch in miami watching the extra i never would have thought that i would be you know on television again like 17 years later um i gotta assume you're still you know get noticed or have kind of like i gotta is it's it's is it still a plays a pretty big part of your lives to at least some degree where you're at some sort of party or a get together and people are the what's it like questions that you know does that right those those still go on for you sometimes but honestly we live in such a small town um you know it's a

very small like ski ski town ski resort and so people are really over it here. Um, but if we travel and we're at, you know, an event or even out to dinner, yeah, we definitely still get recognized, especially if we're together. Um, I feel like people recognize us as more so as a couple, um, as opposed to just our individual people, personalities, you know? Um, so yeah, I, we, we definitely still get recognized, but clearly if you look at, um, Instagram followers, I am definitely old school. What's your, what's you working with these days, Trista? Oh, I'm almost at 300,000. Whoa. I know that's just you're so jealous.

No, that's pretty amazing considering Instagram didn't even exist. It did not. Yeah. No, it did not. And people were over us by the time Instagram was up. So, you know, yeah. Are your kids over it? They, you know what? Max is definitely, he could care less.

He's almost 13 and he's just into Fortnite and hockey and biking with his friends and he could care less. If, if he was interested in girls, I bet that will change when he's interested in girls because the girls will be interested that his parents were on the show. You know what I mean? Blakeslee, on the other hand, our daughter, she's 11

and she thinks it's cool. She thinks, you know, she's, we just got off of TikTok. She was on TikTok. Yes, she's 11. But I was letting her do it for the fun dances and whatever. And it just, it, that's another conversation. But so she's now off of TikTok, but she's into like the TikTok famous people and the YouTube famous people. And it's just their culture now, that age where they think it's cool to be famous. So I think she thinks it's cool,

but Max could care less. There's always been a ton of conversations, especially recently about the success that the Bachelorettes seem to have over the Bachelors. Right, yeah. And I was wondering, I'm assuming you've been asked this before, but as the first Bachelorette

and someone again who has an incredibly successful family and relationship from the show, do you have any opinions on why you think that is? Or do you think it's dumb luck? Or is there a specific reason why you think maybe the Bachelorettes seem to have been more successful? I think it's a combination. I think that a lot of it is luck because let's be honest, if Ryan hadn't been on my season,

I don't know that I would have been able to have a successful relationship with any of the other guys. Um, so I, I got really lucky that they casted him. Um, and I think that a lot of women on the show, the bachelorettes have been lucky because the people that they've casted, they've gotten it right. And for whatever reason, maybe the people that they've casted for the guys hasn't necessarily been dialed in. Who knows? So I think part of it is luck, honestly. And then, and I, I personally believe in like, God has a plan for me. I think it was kind of like our destiny. Um, I know that's probably sounds cheesy but that's just i'll let you have it i'll let you have it yeah thank you um so anyway so that and then but i do think that women um they for some reason maybe it's like they're more serious about it and maybe it's like a

a sex thing like the guys get in there and are like, you know, like, wow, there's all these women here for me, you know, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna take advantage. So I don't know. I don't know exactly why. But I feel like maybe women are just maybe a little more serious about finding, finding that one. And the guys might, you know might be listening to another part of their body. I liked your first answer better. I liked your first answer better. Okay, fine, take it.

I mean, I can only speak from my personal experience, but I think that was the first answer for me. Like, and again, great women on my season, but I don't feel like as far as compatibility for me yeah um it was going to to work out um and so uh yeah i like i like i'll take your first answer okay first answer you can take that one you can even maybe no no no no but you know maybe some some of the other other well again you could argue uh even afterwards you know guys thinking with their you know usually their body parts of like guys getting all this attention and all women

across america are like oh my god and guys yeah right like i'm famous women are all these women know me right and and i can't do anything about it you know yeah right they're sending me underwear i mean i had women what kind of evil trick is this back in the day they like it was like the whole point of being famous is like to meet women, you know, like it's like selling your soul to the devil. So you're proving my point. I'm not, I'm not speaking. I can imagine how a lot.

No, but like, I mean, in all seriousness nowadays, I think there is such pressure from bachelor nation. And I've said this before, like when they asked me to be the bachelor, I was sick to my stomach because it was like all right well i gotta do this and i really

wanted it to work and i was really afraid that they would cast women that i didn't i wouldn't connect with you know i really like you know connect and again like that there is in love in general there's luck involved you know it has could, you know, they could have thought they were like casting, you know, the, you know, every person was meant for me because like they're casting for a show and not for me and still got it wrong. You know, it's, it's, it's all luck, but you know, maybe for other guys, maybe, maybe it was like, well, I can't, well, this sucks. You know? Yeah. Yeah, no, I think there's definitely that element for sure. Well, Trista, it's been a ton of fun catching up with you

and sharing some insight and continued success to you and Ryan and the family and give them my best when you see them. And yeah, it's a lot of fun. And I hope, I wish the show continued success. And it's always fun to, it's gotta be cool being the first Bachelorette. It's a little crazy. I mean, I will say like,

I feel very old and I know I joke about it a lot. Like I, I'm very self depreciating when it comes to talking about how I'm a dinosaur or I'm, I mean, I was called a grandmother by one of the girls at one point in time. And I'm like, I'm not a grandma yet.

Stop. Wait, wait. Like some, a recent cast member called you a grandma. No. Um, a previous,

a bachelorette. I won't name a previous a bachelorette i won't name names a bachelorette yeah um and you know that's our most recent bachelor no no no it was not it wasn't hannah um so i and i i listened to the jokes i can't remember i don't know if it was I listened to the jokes. I can't remember. I don't know if it was Demi. I feel like Demi at some point was like saying how, who was talking?

Do you remember? There was someone on one of the seasons that was talking about how someone was super old and their eggs must be. Oh yeah. When Demi and it was Trish or something early on. And Demi was like, yeah, Demi was like, so anyway, I hear that kind early on and Demi was like, yeah, Demi was like. So anyway, I hear that kind of stuff and I'm like, God, I am ancient. Like I'm I'm truly ancient.

So it's cool to be the first. And people are super kind and super respectful. And I mean, the Bachelorette reunion last year was just so sweet. I was so thankful to be a part of it because, you know, I think that nowadays they they want to have people on the show who are more Instagram famous because that just feeds into The Bachelor and helps them with their viewership. And, you know, so having me be part of it is very humbling still, you know, I, I, obviously we have a success story and we've been married the longest and we were the first, those are all really great things. And it's really, really cool to be able to say that, but, um, it's just, it's just really nice. People are really nice about it. I just wish that I could bottle some of that youth up and steal it away because I would love to feel like a part more so of the current Bachelor Nation, but I kind of feel like I've been called the fairy

godmother. I just feel like I'm everyone's mom. I'm just look, I'm looking at it through a different lens these days when I watch, because everyone's so much younger than me. I mean, thank goodness for Claire. I'm so excited for Claire's season because she's almost my age. She's way closer to my age than hannah was what was hannah like 24 or something 24 25 something like that um and claire's almost 40 so i feel like i'll be able to relate to her you know a little yeah i'm uh i'm looking forward to it and uh it sounds like they're gonna give it a go and try to film this. Are they? Oh, good. I haven't heard anything lately about if they're taping yet. We'll see.

Oh, I hope so. Because she's ready. She's chomping at the bit. Yeah. We have a text chain with all the Bachelorettes. And we did a couple Zooms during quarantine. And yeah, she's ready. And she deserves it.

So I'm excited. That's awesome. Anyway, thank you so much for having me i really appreciate it and um yes it's great to catch up and thanks for for taking the time um thank you guys for listening as always uh check us out tomorrow you're absolutely gonna love this episode uh cand Candice Kane, an absolute legend in her own right, has a great conversation with me about the transgender community. And I certainly learn a lot. It's a topic I've been very ignorant about in general. And she's funny, delightful, interesting, and I really enjoyed it. So make sure you tune in tomorrow

and as always sending your questions at asknickatcastme.com cast with a k and until next time we'll see you tomorrow