The Viall Files - E155 Man Crushes & Life Changing Events With JP Rosenbaum

Episode Date: July 21, 2020

Man Crushes & Life Changing Events With JP Rosenbaum On this episode of the Viall Files we are joined by one half of one of Bachelor Nations favorite couples, JP Rosenbaum. We take a little bit of time to talk about Ashley being on Brad’s GOAT episode, what they did & did not watch of their seasons, how Ashley and JP continued to follow their career dreams once leaving the show and how they are handling quarantine with little ones running around, you may even hear a few of them during the podcast! JP also shares with us his journey with his health and how that life changing event gained him a perspective that brought him so much gratitude in places where he may not have recognized it before. It’s a little Bachelor mixed with a little inspiration.  “Just Do What JP Does.” Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS:  LIQUID IV: liquidiv.com CODE: VIALL THRIVE MARKET: thrivemarket.com/VIALL Episode Socials: @ViallFiles  @nickviall @_JPRosenbaum See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what is going on everybody we're gonna take a poll and see if you guys are by fives or follows or something else I've been taking singing lessons. No, I have not. Maybe you should start. Yeah. That could be helpful. Yeah. You can take a lot of lessons.

Welcome to another Bachelor Goat episode. I don't even know who our guest is going to be yet because we're recording this before we've decided so surprise it's someone from bachelor um i did want to uh take this uh intro to uh address some of the feedback i got regarding the reality steve episode i i will say obviously the reactions to the reality episode have been eye-opening and i've given a lot of thought probably more than i'd like to admit but uh they have been some well i guess hopeful lessons but certainly tough lessons, both professionally and personally. I think starting off, you know, professionally, I definitely failed to

understand what my audience was expecting and wanting to hear and did not do a great job of setting expectations around what my audience was about to hear with this episode. Because I clearly, if it became obvious, came in to this episode with a very strong point of view about Raleigh Steve and the effect and the negative effect he's had on a lot of people's lives. And I guess i thought that my audience would uh i guess be interested in hearing uh me hash it out with reality steve um about those differences and so you know when it came to some of the what sounded like you know arguing or bickering or even me talking over him and you know that leaving it in there or allowing that to go on was hey this is going to be kind of a raw and emotionally charged

episode and certainly not the type of episode that a lot of my audience have come to expect with some of my guests in a more kind of interview style um it's clear obviously i wasn't even trying to do that i wasn't even interested in doing that i can certainly admit that and so there's two questions there i could have just recognized how emotionally charged i was and just simply have not have done it that's a fair criticism why don't even bother. And that's looking back is quite honestly something that maybe I should have done. Let's just not have done it and recognize what I thought to begin with is that we're just going to disagree,

agree to disagree, and it's not going to be productive. Had I decided to still go through with it, I again could have done a better job of sending an expectation with my audience and then recognizing just how emotionally invested in the conversation I was so that I could do a better job of conducting the conversation in a way that would be easier to listen to. easier to listen to. I also made the mistake of thinking that my audience would be interested in hearing two grown men bicker about their differences of opinion as it relates to the Bachelor show in general. And I guess as I say that out loud, it sounds kind of idiotic, but I thought it would be kind of a fun debate about, you know, he said, he said, and that just a difference of opinion. But what that ended up turning into and sounding like, at least from my end of things is, you know, me defending the show too unobjectively. Listen, what I said about the show is how I feel. I've had a very unique experience in the show. I've been vilified by the show. I've been rewarded by the show. And so I recognize that I see the show probably a little bit more nuanced than others.

And that's probably because of my unique experience. And I realized that's not the case for everyone. If I had a really big regret in terms of how I said things, it was, I think by getting into the weeds in that discussion, I painted way too broad of a brush as it relates to other cast members' experiences on their show. And I think, while unintentionally, it made it sound like I was dismissing other cast people's experiences.

You don't have to be top four to be wronged by the show. In fact, a lot of people who aren't are the people who are wronged by the show. And everyone has their own experience about the show. And all those feelings and experiences are valid. And I think just the truth is, I don't want to defend the show. It wasn't my intention to defend the show. They don't need me to defend the show.

And I think for the sake of arguing with Steve, I wish I would have just if looking back what I would have done differently, I would have simply just acknowledged what is true, that the show does at times misrepresent people. And by doing so, they can and have negatively affected people's lives. And if anyone wants to critique the franchise and suggest they need to be held more accountable for that, that is clearly a fair criticism. And I think had I acknowledged that and not bothered getting into the weeds about the semantics of it all, I would have had a better chance of articulating the point that I was hoping to make by having Steve Vaughn to begin with. And that was having a discussion about what he does, how he became the blogger, the spoiler to deciding to cover cast people's lives outside of the show.

And the impact and the negative effect he has had on those people's lives by often getting it wrong. Um, and so when Steve wants to criticize the show and want to hold them to a higher standard, I wanted him to, you know, uh, recognize how he's impacted people's lives. Sometimes I don't know, you know, I never really knew if he really truly understood. In fact, and again, I, I think I definitely failed to realize how emotional and, and how strong of an opinion I had towards Steve. how emotional and how strong of an opinion I had towards Steve. Because I think as the conversation went on, I probably just, I just got angrier and angrier and was trying to like, quite honestly, I was trying to not get more angry. You know, for example, when he was talking about what he did to Jenna, I was learning for the first time and not quite honestly was processing that information

as I was talking to him. You know, I, after getting off the show, I've read into it a little bit more and had a brief correspondence with her, but listen, what he did to her is heartbreaking. I don't, no one deserves that. I don't think even people can imagine, uh, what that experience is like, was like for her, uh, how detrimental that probably was. and certainly was, to her mental health. And I know there was an apology given by Steve, but an apology is nice, but it doesn't take any of that away. And the hurt still continues. And that's a significant story, but there are many other examples. And, you know, obviously I talked about the things I felt like Steve did to me, whether it's putting out false information, leaving up false information, putting out biased

information, et cetera, et cetera. But there, listen, I have a ton of friends and a ton of peers who have been affected by him. A lot of, I've seen anxiety attacks. I've seen fights in relationships. I've had fights in my relationships, all caused by the information he has put out there and often incorrect. And I think I was just trying to have a conversation with Steve around that because ultimately my goal was to talk to Steve about how he goes about things going forward. Because listen, I realize now more than ever, there is clearly a demand for what Steve does. There is an appetite for the information he puts out there. And I'm not, I can't change that. Clearly he's going to keep doing that. And I think my hope was, and I, what I failed to do on the podcast and what I've tried to convey to him even in private is, I just hope that he cares

as much about that as he wants to show to, and that if he continues to do what he does without making significant changes in how he goes about doing it, he's going to continue to hurt people. And that was really just my hope that he would care. I recognize that a lot of people don't care. I mean, quite honestly, it's been disappointing to see some of the reactions of, you know, like sometimes an apology is nice,

but it doesn't change things. You know, it doesn't get back the, some of the things that happen. And quite frankly, listening to the Steve acknowledge some of these things, it, at least for me and,

you know, just trying to get people to relate, it almost felt like there was an acknowledgement but there was a yeah but this and a yeah but that and that's why i did things and it almost it felt like um that because there's a demand for what he does that gave it the justification and so if he ever gets it wrong well while sometimes he's sorry, it seemed to be an acceptable level of collateral damage. That's how it felt.

That's how it feels. And again, I recognize there are probably a lot of people out there that may not care. I don't have a sympathy. We signed up for it. And if we're willing to sign these crazy contracts that give the show the right to paint us in any likeness that they see fit, that there's somehow we should know that there's a person like Steve out there who might do the same, whether deliberately or accidental.

And I recognize that. My hope is that Steve cares. I think, again, that's what I was trying to convey and obviously didn't do a great job of doing that because, you know know i was thinking back about our conversation i still don't think um that there's any justification for anyone on social media to tell someone to kill themselves or to uh as someone this past weekend told chrissy to uh what'd they say keep putting food in my mouth instead of using my mouth for speaking.

I don't think that's ever right. There's no justification. But what Steve did a good job of pointing out, and I should have just not tried to, for the sake of argument, argue with him, is that regardless if it's not their fault, the things that the show does has a ripple effect that hasn't affected people's negative lives.

Obviously, Olivia is a great example of the show wronged Olivia and the vitriol that she experienced in social media affected her life. And that's, again, the same goes for Steve. I don't follow reality Steve. And 100% of the time when I knew reality, Steve was talking about me. It's because anytime he would talk about me and say something negative, it would result in what felt like a lot of people and his fans and followers would then come and attack

me, DM, write comments and say, quite honestly, nasty things and things that, you know, I would tell myself it doesn't matter. They don't know me, but would affect my mental health. And knowing that often it was false information and incorrect information just made it really hard to accept. And so, yeah, I guess I just hope that Steve cares and I wish I would have done a better job of conducting that conversation or, again, just simply recognizing that I was too emotionally charged to have it. On a personal side, I think a lesson I learned is just being careful when you're seeking out vindication or validation or even revenge, you know, it's a very dangerous road to go down. And almost always it's not going to work out the way you hoped. I mean, I've, I've, I've, you know, I, I finished that conversation with Steve and he acknowledged some things and I thought I felt better in the moment. And I got to tell you,

obviously that really backfired because, well, I don't know what everyone's point of view was. There was enough of people who, um, it re it, it honestly, for a couple of days, I felt like I was back on Andy season. Um, and, uh, it really opened up some old wounds. Um, and, uh, had I not tried, it was like, you know, you want to get validated and you think if I don't know how to equate, it's like, if, if you walk on someone who's like fucking your wife or girlfriend or something, and someone who just hurts you and so whoever, whatever the situation, someone hurts you and you want to, not only do you want them to feel what you felt, but you want other people around you to understand. And, you know, and I hand them on thinking, you know, if I get him to

own up to this stuff, people will understand how I felt. And yeah, it, like I said, it just backfired and it's a sobering lesson for myself that closure really needs to come, obviously, from within, and that seeking out validation, it can be very dangerous and sometimes really backfire. And I hope that I learned that lesson. And for those of you listening, maybe it's something we can, it can be an example for other people. But I think that's all I really want to say about that.

Anywho, as always, we do appreciate you guys tuning in. Check us out tomorrow for an amazing episode with ex-Harvard professor Tal Ben-Shahar, who's a professor in positive psychology. Did I say that right? He studies happiness, how to be happy. It's a fascinating episode, a really great conversation. I really enjoyed it.

I thought, boy, what a time to talk about happiness and how we can understand how to be happy. Surprising information, I think, Tal offered. So be sure to check that out and without uh further ado oh by the way we've decided who our guest is going to be yeah quick update time warp uh jp rosenbaum yeah can't wait got a crush on this guy get that water in your body people it's summer it's hot uh uh the the country heat wave going around it's crazy uh and when it's hot out you gotta keep getting the fluids your body needs to stay hydrated well liquid iv i tell you what i'm loving it it's delicious it's tasty and

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market.com slash V-I-A-L-L to start your risk-free membership and get up to $20 towards your first order. Thrivemarket.com slash V-I-A I A L L J P. How's it going, buddy? You know, you are my first official podcast. Like I think maybe ever, ever. Maybe we did one when we were off the show, but like, this is the first one. Well, I honestly don't even know if podcasts were really a thing when you guys got off the show. All right. All right. right easy i'm just you know no they weren't um no social media was not i'm uh i'm glad well i'm glad a to be your first and you know the i i decided to have you on just because i'm i'm watching the you know brad season

and there we'll we'll get into it a little bit but so many amazing between his two seasons he had some obviously amazing characters amazing women but like you know from a show of a context i'm really entertaining people to watch you know one of which was your now wife but i'm watching i'm like you know i'm gonna ask jp to come on because uh i've always kind of like you and I have never met in person. This is honestly the first time we've talked. We obviously have a lot of close mutual friends. We've heard a lot about each other.

I've heard so much about you both in like just my personal life through mutual friends. And then when I was going through the show, like your name would come up as like a reference point. And I kind of always had this man crush on you from afar. And I thought, well, I'll have JP on because I know you've been through a lot recently and you've had some things going on. And I thought, you know, I just wanted to talk to you. And you came on the episode and I'm like, you know what? I want to talk to JP. So here we are. And I thank you came on on the on the episode and i'm like you know what i want to talk to jp so here we are and i thank you for coming on my pleasure i really hope i live up to the hype i know that we've we've had lots of correspondence via social media and uh but that's kind of where where it has ended so we are well overdue for this yeah absolutely the first time i actually learned of your existence

and i'll never forget it too and i i won't get into too much detail but it was right after i woke up from my fantasy. I thought of JP. I'm flattered. Listen, it just felt right. I was processing the night, and I had a lot of positive things from that night, and I had a lot of all of a sudden questions. I was overthinking the experience.

What did it mean? I was the first fantasy fantasy suite and as i'm sure people can imagine like what might be going on in my head and the producers could tell i was just like in my head about everything and i remember just walking the beach with two producers like having a beer and just be like i don't know what i'm gonna do like i love her but like what if other stuff i don't know and and they your name came up as like someone who like listen like i understand blah blah there's this guy named jp and he we had a lot of the same conversations with him about his experience from this point to the end i'm like well i don't fucking care what jp had to say like and so like that was my first memory of you and it. And it was just a very vivid memory because I kept hearing about this guy named JP.

I had no clue who you were. And I was supposed to do what JP does because you were this beloved guy in Bachelor Nation. So that was my first point, my first memory of you. Well, that's really nice. I'm glad I came up in conversation i'm glad it was all or at least mostly positive i mean i was certainly had my ups and downs and i wouldn't say it was smooth sailing the entire time but um that's nice to hear yeah um maybe let's let's start by like dabbling into to brad season before we get into a conversation between uh you and i

uh you're a very handsome guy jp uh and as a i gotta say watching uh brad season that guy's a hot brad brad's a good looking guy i don't know what you thought but like i'm watching it and it's just like he's uncomfortably good looking really you didn't think so you don't know what you thought, but I'm watching it, and it's just like, he's uncomfortably good-looking. Really? You didn't think so? You don't think Brad's handsome? I don't think he's good speed. Really?

Yeah. I'm not taking anything away from him. He's very handsome. I don't know. He is, but that's kind of the franchise MO. I mean, a lot of good-looking people. Brad? Compared to the rest of the franchise,

I'd say he's, you know, right down the fairway. Okay. Well, I guess I have a man crush on Brad. That's not very objective. No, but yeah, it was, I got to say, I also, what did you think, JP? As you watched kind of this episode back, and I'm sure while you didn't watch it, what's up, buddy? Yay. JP's son popping it. What's up, buddy? Yay.

JP's son popping it. Hey, bud. As you were watching it, I really felt for Brad. Because I remember hearing about his first season. I never watched his first season. I did remember watching. I watched Brad's night one, like with friends who were Bachelor fans. And I was like, what's going on?

What am I watching? And I very much remember season one or season two season two yeah his night two and i just remember like emily coming out and be like well she wins um you know and i i think i had a crush on her um and um they talked so much about how he was like hated and like because he didn't pick two you know one of the two women. And boy, even watching it back now, this idea that he was somehow this terrible human and he had so much soul searching to do and the therapy he needed because America and Bachelor Nation was just like, how could you not pick anyone? And I'm just like, did you? were you thinking that too like how insane the reaction was to him not ending up with anyone you know i think i'm a little desensitized to it now because

first of all nothing surprises me and you know back then i feel like it was all even though the show had been around for years anytime something slightly different happened everyone went crazy and so at the time i'm sure it was like oh you know remember we only see a snippet of everything that he goes through but at the time he's like oh my god how could you do this and and now looking back at it's like nah not a huge deal but i i get in the moment at during those times why people would have that kind of reaction. Oh, I mean, I get how it was set up. And like even Chris Harrison, I mean, love the guy.

He's a friend. But man, what a troublemaker that one is where he's just like, boy, we didn't think Brad could make a bad decision, but here he is. And it's just like his bad decision was to not end up. And again, great great like not picking someone doesn't define who they are as a person and just the little things were also i loved how like i could be wrong maybe things are different were different then and like neil lane wasn't a part of that then uh but this like in the they showed a clip of like and you even bought a ring, Brad. Yeah. Now, maybe that's true.

Maybe in the past, but I'm pretty sure he didn't ever buy a ring. Because even Brad was saying, yeah, I was looking at the five or six rings. Because that's what they do. Neil will bring out like five rings. And so it's like you get to pick one of these five. This isn't like a whole ring shopping experience. Right. And this idea that Chris is like keeps selling this idea that brad went out and picked a ring and spent his own money is silly yeah well it's kind of along the lines of when either the bachelor the bachelorette

plans a date for you know whoever they're going out to see whether on a one-on-one they have nothing to do with the planning of the dates i mean good point it is funny because i didn't watch it back then and it does seem like for i don't know if it is a result of like social media but the show definitely seems a bit more willing to like not pretend some of those things don't happen like the idea like it almost seemed like in the past that chris you know chris is kind of the person, like they tried to sell everything as too authentic. Like The Bachelor was planning the group dates or The Bachelor was like booking the helicopters or making sure there was a hot tub like in an alleyway for them to make out. I did this for you. I did this for you.

Right, exactly. It was all part of an image. Yeah, when you were on with Ashley, was it still like that, or was it a little bit more how it is now? I had nothing to do with any planning. The only thing that I had... No, I know you don't have anything

to do with the planning per se, but did you feel like the show was like emphasizing that a little too much? Yeah, you know, they set up the fantasy land, right? I didn't even see it. I just spilled coffee on myself. A Tide pen or something over there. Yeah, I mean, it was definitely set they had their system right and they had their image and they had you know how things are supposed to happen uh and so i think there was still that

was still a time where there was a a a setup program and and they were following the program and so so yes i mean there that did exist uh, again, I had nothing to do with picking any of the rings except one of the five, right. I had nothing to do with really the final gift that I gave her. And like right before the fantasy. Oh, you did it. So they, they still, uh, not really. I mean, not really.

I mean, I wrote, the words were mine, but like the ideas like the ideas no not not coming from up here i i nothing to do so they they basically it's an assist right they kind of sure serve it up for you totally i i will say i did come up with my gift ideas for both andy and caitlin but that was just me being like this is what i want to do you know i and i think it's just a matter of like you said like it's so stressful there's a million things going on in your head so for a lot of people it's just like i don't what do what do you want me to do i don't i don't know and they definitely like that's their job to think romantic i think things so sure um absolutely and you had no so you had no idea that ashley was going to be the bachelorette after and you didn't watch any of brad's seasons i i never watched at all prior to i mean obviously

i knew just because of the the bachelor world that that it existed but i never watched any episodes and i remember when i went out to you know for the first weekend of filming that's i think that's when they told us and you're you know your bachelorette's going to be ashley h and i'm like what i found very interesting watching uh this kind of recap of brad season was when he sent her home and again i you know obviously the show will emphasize certain points so who knows if it was that much of a focus and i'm and i guess i'm curious asking you i'm sure having i'm'm sure you talked with Ashley about the experience a lot, but it seems it was presented in a way

where it was about Ashley's career and her dedication and her drive to be a dentist and be focused on her career, which it seemed like part of the reason why Brad had just decided to send her home and then subsequently that was kind of like the seemed like the theme of Ashley's season of like the career woman the one who like wants to have her career but the family and the marriage and love too um was that like in real time? Did you feel that was the theme of her season? And I'm just wondering if you and Ashley have had conversations about that in terms of

her career? Because what's so cool when you're hearing about Ashley is she became the bachelorette and then she went back and finished school and fulfilled all those dreams, which you don't see that as much anymore. So Ashley and I never once talked about her season with Brad. Never once. But I can tell you that on our season. I will come back. Okay, go. On our season, we had a lot of discussions we what we saw happening after the show was over

and it was always she's going to go back finish dental school uh and and be a pediatric dentist and and i was going to go back to the real estate world and go back to work and we were we were just going to go back to our lives pre pre-bachelorette um it was always just a known you know outcome after the show finish school and and start working as a dentist and that's you know that's what happened obviously we had a couple of kids mixed in there but um i wouldn't i wouldn't say it was an overall theme uh and i don't recall if that's how they portrayed it on at least on our season i don't think that they did but it was never a theme it was just kind of a matter of fact this is what's going to happen so you've recently i know you were in the news um you've had a bit of a health scare

um yeah and i remember when it when it came out i mean i i didn't you know it quite frankly it was people were just kind of like didn't know what it was. It seemed like you had this kind of unique scare and it seemed potentially really serious. And that was like a real kind of, even for me, I hadn't met you. And I'm just like, I called one of our mutual friends, like, what's going to happen? But yeah, can you shed some light on that and that experience and what that was like? Yeah, can you shed some light on that and that experience and what that was like? Yeah, absolutely. It was all very, very surreal and life-altering. I had woken up one morning, gone to work like any other day, and then by lunchtime, my ankles started hurting.

And it was just weird. I mean, I worked out maybe a couple days before, but nothing that should have like affected my body. And by the time I got home, I picked up a pizza for the kids and I got out from the pizza place and I'm holding the box in front of me. And my my wrists don't hold the box. The pizza just like falls. I'm like that. I got to get home. Something's not right. And I dropped my keys. I had to brace myself against the car to get up. I get home, talk to Ashley. Something's not right. And I dropped my keys. I had to brace myself against the car to get up. I get home, talk to Ashley, something's not right. We decided to wait it out until the morning to see if I got any better. Woke up next morning and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't put on underwear. I couldn't

brush my teeth. I couldn't obviously tie shoes. I couldn't pick up my kids. I couldn't, I couldn't brush my teeth i couldn't obviously tie shoes i couldn't pick up my kids i couldn't i couldn't i was almost incapacitated i could walk and like shuffle around but no upper body strength whatsoever um i called my friend who's a doctor down here in miami and he took me to the hospital and i get in the car and he sound he says it sounds like guillain-barre and i obviously have no idea what that is um but he he kind of he guessed right he guessed right he guessed right um and get to the hospital and the neurologist who was on call on call was there within an hour and he agreed he said it seems like guillain-barre and then what they do for that is lumbar puncture and CAT scan and all sorts of stuff. This was probably 8 in the morning. Then by 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I'm admitted. I'm on IVIG. It's called immunoglobulin, which is the treatment for Guillain-Barre. for Guillain-Barre. But I'm checked in to the hotel, to the hospital around three o'clock in the afternoon with a room being monitored. And the fear is that it gets to a point where it impacts your respiratory system and you have to be put on a ventilator.

Yeah. So I'm freaking out a little bit um you know obviously i'm googling throughout all this just to read up read up yeah and for those of you who don't know i mean without at the risk of talking about you know the medic you know we're not doctors obviously but do you have i'm sure you like you said read up on a, but what, it's such a unique thing that no one's really heard of. What is it? Yeah. It's an autoimmune disease when the antibodies from a previous infection, whatever it was, recognize your nerves as foreign.

And then they go and after they finished killing off whatever they killed off before go and attack the nerves in your body and so now your body is basically attacking itself and the treatment is something that binds to your antibodies to prevent them from attacking your nerves so once you are diagnosed and treated it shouldn shouldn't get any worse, but then like anything else, your nerves have to heal. And that's what takes time. So, uh, I was in the hospital for two days only. Uh, so two and a half days. So Saturday morning to Monday, I guess three days, Saturday morning to Monday late in the afternoon, almost evening. And I immediately, within a couple days after that, started going to physical and occupational therapy to learn how to do fine motor and strengthen my legs.

It was frightening, frightening. Wow. Wow. I mean, what was going through your head in those few days? I mean, we're right away where the where the doctors like, well, we just have to treat it and you'll be fine. Was there a kind of a period of like, we don't know how this is going to go? I mean, from a family standpoint, like what were all the things kind of going through

your head? Yeah. mean from a family standpoint like what were all the things kind of going through your head yeah so once i think i did like an instagram live or something where i i let everyone know that i had it and then just messages just started pouring in of everybody you would be surprised how many people have have have this or have had this um and almost like anything there's a spectrum right you have the mild side of the spectrum and then you have the extreme side of the spectrum and this extreme side is where you're on a ventilator for two months and you spend four to five months learning to walk again and and then there's the mild side where you know you're back on your feet

in six to eight weeks and it just impacted, you know, minor things like, again, like tying your shoelaces. And so for me, I was just concerned when the progression would stop. And even though I was on the treatment, I couldn't be certain that the progression had stopped, right? Because I didn't test everything that I could do during the treatment. I didn't test everything that I could do during the treatment. I didn't try and, you know, kick a foot, kick a soccer ball. I didn't try and write my name. I didn't, there were a lot of things I didn't do. And, and it wasn't until maybe Sunday afternoon that weekend where the physical therapist came in and she had me stand

up and she had me test all of these things. And I burst into tears. I couldn't do anything. I got, it's not being able to just get out of bed and put on a sock and forgive me, wipe your ass. And like, you can't do any of it. And so I, like,

I remember being on FaceTime with Ashley when she had gone home after being with me for a little bit. And I, I was, I was just crying. Like, cause just unknown, is it going to get worse? Will it ever come back? Um, but, but luckily the progression stopped and that's when the doctors feel like you were in the clear. If the progression stopped, their, their biggest concern is attacking the respiratory. Um, and then once progression stops, then they can almost send you home because, you know, you've had your treatment.

You're not getting any worse. Now you start PT and OT. Wow. That is a. I got very lucky. Very, very, very lucky. And I'm glad that you did. And that's it's crazy and i remember like again from my point of view you know we've had this connection i've never met you and i

remember i just be like i hope he's okay and it was kind of a really scary scary scary moment you know you talked about just how it was kind of life-changing um having to deal with something like this and the scare um how has it impacted your life and and do you feel any residual effects whether it's negative or i guess an eye-opening and what's what's been a silver lining that you've maybe taken from this experience? I definitely puts a lot of things into perspective. You know, I, I was a very neurotic I would say critical former New Yorker that you know, little things would, would, would bug me. I have a shirt that I've worn for a long time

that a friend a mutual friend actually got for me that's just as i love hating things um and it kind of just you know it helped put a lot of things into perspective like all the little insignificant bullshit that we all deal with on a day-to-day basis it just doesn't matter yeah because the moment you can't pick up your children because of some life-threatening disease that that's what matters right not whatever someone said on instagram or you know not like if something didn't go your way or not i mean none of the little shit really matters yeah i mean i gotta say um i'll get in i'll get in my funks and it's like i'm aware of that premise right um so much like so much of what i think about is like don't sweat the small stuff nothing all these things

none of these things matter this doesn't matter we when we talk about relationships about how the little things that we fight about don't matter and yet i'm like a lot of people where you kind of go down a rabbit hole when you have the sometimes the convenience to do so like it's almost as if like every yeah of all the big high level things in your life are going well job security family health you know etc like the important things and when no and when those things tend to go well i find myself just going down these rabbit holes and and ruminating and having anxiety over some of the most insignificant things that don't have an impact on my life. In fact, those are the things I probably have anxiety and ruminate about the most because, you know,

knock on wood, so far, I've been very lucky and very blessed with some of those high-level, you know, things that truly are the most important. Right. I think that's totally normal. I think everyone has that. Right. And I'm not saying all that has just disappeared for me. I'm saying it's just it has helped put it into a little bit more perspective than I had before. Little, little stuff. I mean, still pisses me off, but maybe I'm not as vocal about it. Maybe I just keep it on the inside. Maybe I just, you know, maybe the way that I handle it is changed. And it's not black and white. It's not like I'm all of a sudden this saint that nothing bothers me. You know, I mean, a lot of shit still bothers me. But it's what I do with the stuff that bothers me and how I respond to it. I think I take a little bit, I do a little bit differently.

But that's always, you're always going to feel that way. I mean, people are just annoying sometimes. Totally. So now that you were diagnosed with this disease, is this something that you have to be mindful of the rest of your life? Or you do the treatment, you get better, and you hope it doesn't, you don't have a reoccurrence but is it kind of an ongoing thing that you have to medicate or anything like that for

no the odds of me getting it again are about the same as me getting it in the first place which are slim for anyone like a hundred thousand to one two hundred thousand to one i don't know i can't remember i think it was a hundred thousand to one um. I don't know. I can't remember. I think it was 100,001. And, but don't think that when, you know, COVID started, it's not in the back of my head, like, oh, maybe there is a chance that if I get that, then whatever's fighting COVID. Yeah, you mentioned being on a respirator. And obviously, so much that we hear when it comes to COVID is the people at the greatest risk are people with pre-existing conditions or any type of breathing problems and things like that. But in your case, your doctors have said that's- Unrelated.

Wow. Well, that's good to hear. How has it been? Speaking of COVID, I know we talked a little bit about it before the show, but you and Ashley are in miami kind of hunkered down it's it's insane i can't understand some of the logic that goes on here in florida and miami especially uh you know we've been very conservative from the get-go like not seeing anybody only going out when we have to you know kids play outside in the backyard and go swimming, but no play dates. And we've been very, very strict with it and we still are, but Miami now seems to be the epicenter, the new epicenter of it all and nothing's really changed.

Like people still, not everyone's wearing masks and people are still, you know, get gathering in groups. And I. And, you know, starting today, I think actually they're now associated getting violations fines for not wearing your mask in public. So maybe that'll help, but not much has really changed over the last few weeks here, but certainly not for the last few months with us. So we've been pretty isolated, A, because my condition shouldn't be affected, but my kids, when they get sick, get hit hard upper respiratory area. So we're being very careful. How has it been just like – have there been ups and downs

where it's just like everyone's just like, oh, you're still here? I mean, you're homeschooling now. You're doing, or has it just been a blessing? I mean, I hear so many different variations of what it's like to be quarantined, whether you're single, married, dating with kids, et cetera, et cetera. I would love to have the names and numbers of those people who told you that have kids that it's a blessing that it is not a blessing. Don't get me wrong. Like we all love our kids and we want to spend time with our kids. But, you know, two working parents were not when we were not made to stay home, be able to work, be able to watch the kids, be able to teach the kids. And so it's very stressful because you constantly feel guilty that you're not providing enough for your child.

You know, are they being stimulated enough? Like the kids, our kids, they don't really have the attention span to do virtual learning with their classmates. And so they don't really pay attention. And it is a lot of stress. I mean, you know, I'm sure we'll look back on this time as something we will never we'll never get to do it again, spend this kind of time with our family. But I wouldn't say it's all quality time. It's it's very stressful. We are on top of each other. We try to each Ash and I try to get out individually when we can just, you know, take a break. But, you know, I think we're ready for a change even though there's not one in sight yeah um do you guys i mean i i know you you'll tweet stuff do you guys follow um anything on the bachelor franchise at this point or is it just are you because even it's

always funny because like you know the bachelor like to bring back successful couples. You guys are as successful as anyone in the franchise. There's been other obviously successful couples, but you guys have a great story and you've been married for eight years. You guys don't come back all that much. Is that more on your guys' choice of just being in Miami and being busy or just kind of want to getting away from it or what what's what's the reason why we don't see you as much as like some of the other successful bachelor couples yeah a combination of things we both work full-time we're you know on the east coast uh we have two kids and so you know

when someone will call us up say hey we're gonna film on a monday can you come out you know it's like not really. Like, how do we make that work with childcare? Am I taking off work just to fly to LA for 48 hours? It, our, our jobs and our family, I think we're always a priority and not that we don't have fun with everything bachelor related. We do. If we were in LA, live there, maybe it would be different, but, you know, just, just kind

of how our lives went we just don't really have have the time to put into it yeah well that that makes it also kind of and we're also kind of boring i mean you know we have a happy you know happy happy family like yeah that's great but our day-to-day is not terribly exciting i mean honestly it sounds more exciting than my day-to-day right now well pre even pre-covid uh well i mean you know as i'm sure you've you know it's it's just a matter of perspective and what we called exciting you know i guess um right it also chaos is exciting you know maybe a different type of exciting you know you have your kids and i'm sure it gets frustrating but there's certainly an excitement about like you know a lot going on at one a lot going on all of a sudden maybe your kids painting the wall

with their dessert i don't know it seemed probably frustrating for you but i'm like well it's crazy all the above the latest is we have this like putty that they play with and if you leave it in one place for too long it it basically just melts into it. So if it's on a tile floor, it's fine. But if it's on the couch or any other fabric – so now I've spent about a half hour this morning trying to scrub this melted, now solidified putty that's embedded in the fabric of our couch. So if you call that exciting, I mean, I guess. I mean, right now, I got excited driving into the studio today. I got a new car and I got a, I saw a scratch on my car. It came out. It was just a mark. But even that took,

it took three seconds to rub and it came off. I couldn't imagine like even that. I don't know. It sounds thrilling thrilling i would love to troubleshoot that problem maybe once i mean not every day i'm sure what you're having to deal with but like uh yeah sign you up for some silly i don't know could i figure this out i don't yeah but i have the putty equivalent every single day so but hey it's part of part of the job yeah that uh i mean you're you're a blessed man and you uh it's for all the you know the does the the bachelor franchise work and all those things i mean it's it's it is fun to see these stories and you and ashley and the family and you know again it didn't work out for me, but I always, you know, get asked a lot of questions like, you know, the realness or the authenticity of the show.

And I'm just like, I don't know what to say, but literal children have been born as a result of people meeting on the show. I guess you could like, if what, like they've created a life, they've created a handful of lives, but even that is kind of nuts to think about. And that is pretty cool. Yeah, the show, it's a gateway, right? It's not the equivalent of meeting someone in a bar or online, but it puts you on a path for either a successful relationship or not, just like any other catalyst for a relationship. So definitely a unique way to meet somebody. And if it works out long term, great.

You and Ashley never even watched your season, did you? I remember hearing something like that. Is that true? Or like when it was airing? We never watched it together. We never watched it together. I probably watched a few of the earlier episodes, not some of the later ones. Because at that point, you're in hiding for two months and I'm just like, enough, over.

I want it to be over, just out in the real world and get on with our lives. So I would say I watched 75% of them. It wasn't until the last three episodes or so I didn't watch. Are you guys, your kids are still pretty young and they probably have no interest in reality TV, but have you two had discussions about like, I mean, obviously you're gonna tell them, but I mean, are you excited to say to your kids

how mom and dad met as if it's like, this is a really cool and interesting way? Or are you more like, what are my kids going to think? You know, like, you met, we met on a, like, well, how, what's your perception of having that conversation with your kids? And like, because every, to some degree, every parent tells their kids the story of how they met. And have you envisioned having that conversation with your children in say, five or six years? that conversation with your children in say five or six years uh so no we have not uh you know we we've we've let our oldest watch something on on tv where you see his mom and dad but he obviously doesn't doesn't get it yet yeah um you know at some point and we have not we have not prepared

at all at some point we will we will tell them and i think it all depends upon how old they are at the time at the time that they find out right if they're if they're teenagers will they think that's ridiculous well they think it's cool like i i and i don't know you know it's different from telling a nine-year-old versus telling a 14-year-old and so the short answer is no we have not prepared any of that um and i think we probably have a couple more years to figure it out oh sure um you know i'm i'm hoping like you know it's a it's a fun story that's what i'm saying i think it's a fun story i'm embarrassed yeah i don't know i mean i personally i mean i hear my parents tell their story and it's cute

but it's it'd be fun to see you know um right yeah i think it would be kind of kind of neat well uh we'll make sure to to to tape the uh yeah videotape their reactions um about like hearing about. My guess is, you know what my guess is, is that your kids will figure it out on their own. It'll be this point where like, I hear stories from my friends, like kids grow up fast. All of a sudden you're like, they're on the internet. We're like, how did you know how to work that kind of thing?

Yeah, they're like, they're waiting. And that would be my guess is that your kids will figure it out and come to you being like what the heck mom and dad and then you'll have to have the talk but they'll have discovered it on their own i i would be i wouldn't be shocked if something like that happens uh well jp it's been a ton of fun catching up with you i'm so thankful and glad that uh your health scare was just a scare that you made it through. And always a good reminder sometimes when we get in the weed about our own neuroses and the things that we tend to stress ourselves out about and get anxiety about that at the

end of the day, if we can have health and happiness and friends and family in our lives, that's always really important to be thankful for and not sweat the small stuff as they say. I appreciate you being willing to share your story and talk about it. And we never can get enough of those types of reminders, especially in the things that are going on in this world. And it's so easy to get distracted and stress ourselves out about things we can't control.

And but we can control being thankful for the things that we do have. And I really appreciate you taking the time to share that with us. So do you where can people find you on social? I mean, hey, listen, you're out there, you're tweeting, you have an Instagram. I mean, we'd love people to follow your journey. I mean, give us a plug, JP. Thank you. I don't have anything to plug. I haven't tweeted in a while. The Instagram I think is underscore jp rosenbaum but um you know it's hard to be too active these days with all we got going on but um but i appreciate you having me on i feel like we were we were definitely long overdue for this and well when uh the quarantine

ends and people or if i'm ever in miami and you're in la i look forward to uh hooking up in person and finally meeting you and Ashley. And I've always been big fans of you. Like, you know, I didn't know, know you guys during your season, but I've certainly looked you guys up after the show and it's always been fun to interact with both of you, you know, virtually. And so tell Ashley I said hi and you know I will best of luck with quarantine and the kids going forward I hope it hope it's not too stressful all right buddy thanks a lot all right and as always we thank you for listening we thanks for you know JP it's taking the time to do this with his family so we hope you enjoyed enjoyed the kiddos popping in

and having fun in the background. You know, COVID times, people, COVID times. Don't forget to tune in tomorrow to talk about a great topic, happiness, the study of happiness with a former Harvard professor, Tal, who studies clinical, what? Positive psychology.

Positive psychology. I don't even know. The science of happiness. It's an actual science. Did you know this I don't even know. The science of happiness. It's an actual science. Did you know this, JP? There's an actual science of happiness. Anyways, we talk about it tomorrow on the podcast. It's one of my faves.

And make sure to check that out. And as always, we appreciate you taking the time. So until next time, have a great day.