The Viall Files - E178 Sex Is Off The Table With Esther Povitsky

Episode Date: September 23, 2020

Today on The Viall Files we are joined by actress and stand up comedian Esther Povitsky. Her comedy special Hot For My Name is out on CC.com and we decided to get Esther’s hot takes on relationships, dating, friend zones, breakups, parents, sex positivity, talking dirty and so much more. She has a lot of thoughts on a lot of things, especially Nick, so strap in as Little Esther doesn’t hold back.  ”It’s so offensive that you run, I feel personally attacked.” Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: STORYWORTH: http://www.storyworth.com/viall for $10 off your first purchase CROSSROPE: http://www.crossrope.com/viall for $40 off the Get Fit Bundle plus FREE shipping BUBS NATURALS: http://www.bubsnaturals.com code: VIALL for 20% off AMAZON MUSIC: http://www.amazon.com/viall to try Amazon Music Unlimited for free for 30 days Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @esthermonster See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

what is going on everybody happy wednesday to you all or whatever day you're tuning in to listen to us i'm your host nick joined by my producer chrissyissy Chrissy how you doing I'm doing great I've been super happy lately I'm so happy for you no I know uh still getting that Montana sex yeah I'm going back uh we have a such a fun episode uh for you today Esther Povinsky the very hilarious funny very, very talented comedian, actor, actress, whatever we're

People know her as Little Esther. Calling it these days is our guest. She's doing great things. She's got a new special on ComedyCentral.com. Is it cc.com?

Yeah, cc.com. She's got Dollface on Hulu. She's doing great things. She graced us with her presence and we just kind of had a very fun topical conversation about dating topics and we just kind of had a very fun topical conversation about dating topics.

And we just kind of rambled and had some fun and gave some thoughts and our expert opinions on things. Expert. Expert opinions. If I'm going to look for an expert, I'm calling the two of you first. We give some very detailed opinions about people who have never gotten their heart broken. I do. I don't know Esther's great I had a ton of fun with her I think you will really enjoy this anything

else we need to cover before we get to the gold no don't forget to subscribe send us your five star reviews it's all we really care about and care about other things I don't care about one star reviews well okay fair statement don't care about one star reviews well okay

fair statement don't not interested in them but I do appreciate you guys obviously listening go check out our

Monday Nick episodes obviously where we save lives hear about relationships and have a lot of fun doing it yeah

without further ado Esther Nick who are you what's going on you're like a hot guy with an essential oil business what is this what year is it how did i get it's 2020 and yes he's all those things it is one one of my business my sister who's a holistic nutritionist got me into it okay that makes sense because it just seems like the most craziest thing but i i i love essential oils so it would yes of course i have because we can get this is boring who cares but i'm like afraid

of artificial fragrance so the only excitement i have in life is essential oils but just you and essential oils are like, it doesn't make sense, but I want it to make sense by the end of today. It doesn't have, well, here's why it's real simple. One, my sister, the holistic nutritionist, certified, Maria, she's been on the show. You have 11 siblings?

10. What? 10. And you seem like your mom just loves you. My mom really loves me. What is that like? That my mom- What is that? That your mom just loves you. My mom really loves me. What is that like? What is that? That your mom, yes.

Well, if you're not familiar, I watched Esther's standup special. It's quite good. You need to check it out. Haunt for my name. That's right. I really liked, that was a good line. Thank you.

About the flip of the first and last name. But yes, my mom loves me me and you seem to have a complicated relationship with your parents i do i'm just kind of like whatever to them i'm not all that you seem like you love your mom your mom loves you we it's a very healthy and you have 10 siblings like do you have a favorite like how do you even divide yeah that's so many siblings like how do you even know them all it's like i had so many more people than i know i i know all their birthdays i don't know their ages uh i'm confident on their first names do you like them all like you have favorites i love them all oh wow oh my god i like i like most of them yeah right that's how i feel like i love them all i would do anything for all of them some i really enjoy spending time with some are

fine and are you in the middle like age wise i'm the second oldest i'm the oldest boy oh i'm also like an only child i'm the only child I've always been very self-sufficient. Only children I don't think of as self-sufficient. Okay. Maybe that's- I think of as selfish. Are you an only child? I'm a half only child.

I have a half older sister from my mom's first marriage. So she was around. I'm my dad's only child, which I think really has a it's that's a thing that's defined you yes i've in the nicest possible way i've only cared about myself when i was a kid i just like the difference between me and my sisters around me because it was i have an older sister and two younger sisters you have brothers yeah but they were like seven years my closest brother my mom's oh my god not my my sister maria who i'm closest with is my dad's favorite the son who is the favorite of the mom is just the worst you have the you're the worst because you just you you get it all your way all the time you talked about your

boyfriend and your stand-up who like you don't know where his confidence comes from yes is he close with his mom yes she loves him so much it makes me sick yeah like i've always just been confident i don't you know and i'm pretty sure it just comes from my mom just being like you're the best how would it like you know what i am yeah i really thanks you know see we all are blaming men for like being overly calm it's the mom that does it to you you need i if i have a child and i have a boy i'm just gonna be like you suck you suck you're the worst i'm gonna make so on your stand-up special people need to go watch it but i thought was really interesting and i'm curious if you did this on purpose it opens up in a very clever way of you kind of kind of talking about this kind of trope or whatever about like if you're a comedian you have to come from this dysfunctional childhood

right you have to have these and you're you're saying this to your parents so right off the bat you're like is this is she does she have a great childhood? And it's just like ironic. And then it cuts into like, you being pretty honest with your parents about your feelings towards them. And then I'm just like, wow, Esther's parents suck. But then it turns a little bit halfway through. There's like a reveal of her parents being like, I'm in love with you, audience. Like Esther sucks sucks we tried our

best and you you leave the show amidst many laughs being like who's right is esther a liar and her parents are right you're like yeah and for a minute you're like she's just been messing with these poor people who treated her so great their entire life and she's just fucking with them the entire time your mom's like i cried myself to sleep trying to parent you you're like in the backseat of the car and your dad's like that didn't happen i know my parents was like get me out of the car. This is, wow. I have not gotten like this good feedback. Like I feel like you guys got it. Like this is making me so happy

because I didn't know there was this journey on there where you kind of trust me and then you don't trust me anymore. I love hearing this. Then there's the breastfeeding incident. Yes. And I'm like, well, point for Esther. It's true.

I was breastfed till two and a half three and i don't know i don't remember but i was breastfed so long oh my god so you had teeth yeah that's like i remember it it's not a joke i mean it is a joke but i remember it i remember breastfeeding to each their own yes that's right i will let my stand-up special tell you more about that because i don't need to get into it about your parents you feel about your parents? They're my best friends, people, but people always see our relationship and they're like,

Oh, you're, you have it. It's so good. But I'm like, I work for that. Like I'm, you know, it's not like you,

if you've seen the special, you get it. It's they, they think I'm nothing. They don't care. They're like, whatever. Unamused.

They're unamused. Yes. And they're so, I love them because they're so funny together. Their dynamic is just so funny that whenever I'm with them, I'm laughing at them. So I'm like, I'm all in. I always want to be there and be part of that. So you have a lot of fun with your parents. I do, yeah.

But I also like that they don't think I'm that exciting. Like, you know, I kind of have to work for it all the time. But your parents love you. Love me. Wow, both. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Interesting. Equally. I mean, I truly hashtag blessed with the love. Yeah, it's... But I will say, like, my parents are always, my parents could tell me when I was being an asshole, my parents, one of the,

and also one of the best things that my parents ever did. I wasn't coddled and spoiled that way. I always felt love from my parents, especially mom, but like I was always in sports. And so they had no problem with like letting other people yell at me as well. It wasn't like, don't yell at my kid. Like I had very difficult and challenging coaches, which my parents liked.

Where it wasn't, you know, I, I'm. You weren't like overly protected in the world. No, at all. Yeah, that's good. That, that's good. So that balanced it out. It seems like that's the difference between you being normal and you having taken a turn to being Norman Bates. So I think they did it right.

But you were almost Norman Bates, which is that's why I think you're cool. I'm on, I'm on. There's some of that still there. Definitely a couple like moments in my life. I'm like, it could have took it a turn. Yeah. Too much love.

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And as adults, it's fun to hear about those things. And a story worth helps you kind of put that into a nice capsule and, uh, have it for the family for maybe, maybe you give it to your grandparents and then you give it to your, your kids. It's a, it's an amazing thing.

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crossrope.com slash V-I-A-L-L. They even offer a 60-day risk-free money-back guarantee. You are someone who, like myself, I feel like likes to have strong opinions about anything. Yeah, you got to. I totally agree yeah i just whatever it is you need to feel strongly about it i like to be very specific about everything like i i don't know yeah i think that just comes though from your how who you are i don't know if that's like your upbringing or whatever i don't know you gotta have you think it's upbringing or your personality

that's all the same thing i don't i don't know nature and nurture kind of thing what this isn't a science show i don't fucking know i'm not gonna try to answer nature versus nurture for you that i don't have a take on okay are you how are you similar to your half sibling um we're we're the opposites we're so different but we do connect strongly on like talking shit about our parents like that's we just she's the only other person who's like experienced it with me so we have a strong bond there so there's definitely something your parents do it's not just because your parents argument is you're an attention whore yeah they're wrong i mean yes that's true but that's their fault no they are so they and together they're this toxic combination like they make no sense together um they're such different people but no everyone who leaves

everyone they've raised has eating issues my sister me i like we're all like obsessed with food and afraid of it my even their dog their dog is obese they have an obese dog who who worships the bag of food and you can't go to the basement because this dog is just guarding the dog food and like now no one can like get to the laundry because he'll attack your feet like they cause psychological problems on everyone in their path it's not i i swear it's not me it's them i stand by my side okay i was it's why we had you on to solve this dilemma um are you down for having um since we we like to go topics, just talking about random topics, given our topical show that we have,

we'll just run down the list and see where it goes. Okay. First topic. Men who don't reciprocate. What does that even mean? Like men who expect you to go down on them, but won't go down on you. Could be sexual. Obviously, I think that's what we certainly intended, but won't go down on you. Could be sexual.

Obviously, I think that's what we certainly intended. But it could be other aspects. Like what? Making the bed? Because that's not happening either. This concept is so foreign to me. I don't even know what it meant. Because in my relationship, you have to do so much before I'll even do so little.

That it will never be an issue. That's never happening. That's like so out of the question. I used to admire – I used to have girlfriends who like would tell me that they would have a guy go down on them and then they would just have the guy leave. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's like – that's goals. Like that's what you need. Men – look, you're a man.

You need to be told what to do. You need, you can't, no one can just expect you to do what they want. You need to kind of show guys what you, and so if you expect a guy to reciprocate, that's crazy. They need to do it first. What do you mean? It's crazy to expect a guy she's saying don't reciprocate until he does it first yeah like yeah what do you what is your take well my take is reciprocity is extraordinarily important in relationships you know this is one of those

hard conversations because as a guy you know it's like he's lying you know in this is one of those hard conversations because as a guy, you know, it's like he's lying, you know, in a sense of like, it's like someone asking you about your dick size. You can't win, right? If you say, if you say it's like huge, you're like, of course he's going to say that. If you say it's small, you're being like, maybe he's, you know, you can't, you can't not sound like a douchebag by, for a guy talking about it. So, and as a guy, if you're being like, maybe he's, you know, you can't, you can't not sound like a douchebag for a guy talking about it. So, and as a guy, if you're just like, well, I love, I do this. You're just like, are you trying to say the right thing? But I think, listen, I think it's important to reciprocate.

I find it shocking that to hear women, yesterday on one of our Ask Nick podcasts, a girl said that she's dated more than one guy who says has no problem getting head but says he's saving it going down on a girl for marriage they're fucking he's getting head he's saving that for his wife i gotta meet this guy the balls i want to get lunch with you i gotta talk to this guy that is fucking a master manipulator psychopath i gotta sit down like the ball i want business advice from this man oh my god okay i feel like i'm translating your thing what you're trying to say is you're like look i'm a hot famous guy like girls like me and they throw, I get it. I get it.

I just think like, I don't know. I think you really, you have to set your own rules, right? Like you have to set, like, just don't, don't allow that. Don't, I don't know. It's confusing. It's complicated. I, then I have these guy friends that are like, yeah, yeah these girls they just want to go down on me all day and i'm like i don't get it but that's a thing like good for you but you just have to like assert your needs as a as all humans have to do yeah why do you think so many women um don't feel are afraid to ask for reciprocity or or the culture the culture yeah yeah it's just the it's just the way we're yeah that's just a thing that i'm not going to be able to solve today

tomorrow call me how do you feel about dating apps i've never done them i don't i don't know are you on them i have been on them before it seems really hard for me because I don't like the vulnerability that you have to, I love vulnerability, but it's like a weird kind of, I don't like a man who I know wants me, you know, like, and I don't think I'm, maybe not me,

but I just, when I see a guy in a dating app, I'm like, oh, so they're like lonely is what I think. Whereas it's like, oh, so you're lonely. is what i think whereas it's like oh so you're lonely like i don't even if you're on it well you've never been on it no the idea already it's hard for me and i don't know like when my fiance eventually dumps me for saying something stupid about him on a podcast i don't know what i would do I don't know how dating apps would work for me. It's such a weird, because I like to chase.

So I don't want a guy that like is open to me. Like I want, I wanna like. So you're perfect dating app bio with a guy who just writes, I hate you. No, yeah. And you see it, you're like, he's talking about me. I hate him. I have to convince him to like me.

It's just, it's hard for, I don't know. I have to convince him to like me. It's just, it's hard. I don't know. I don't like a guy that's like on the hunt. That's always kind of been my, speaking of like specific takes earlier. Like I never want to, I know there's all that advice. Like let him chase you. I'm not into that. I don't want to be chased because a guy who's hunting and chasing you, once he catches you,

he's going to like try and hunt and chase somebody else. So I'm not about that. Like I, I like to see a guy and be like, okay, I'm, I'm going to fucking chase his ass and like, and hunt him because then I know he's,

he's not a hunter and I don't need to worry about him going out and hunting. Like I'm the hunter. Is that you seem confused? No, I'm not confused at all. What I'm trying to do is you know figure out what that means about you interesting yeah i don't know i don't have a and i'm also not a doctor so my opinion doesn't matter but um yeah you you chase them are you do you feel like when you

because when you as a guy is a sense of accomplishment whenever you've been able to land said are you asking do you say as a guy referring to me no that's a guy yeah i guess that's how it sounded but i'm saying like as guys they do that right the sense of like chase accomplishment yeah do you do you feel like you're getting the same not really i mean a little bit but i think it's different just because i'm not a guy and so i'm not i'm not like biologically created to like fuck as many people as possible like that's not my thing that's guy's thing um not all guys so i'm like okay i got him and now it's like you know from the biological standpoint like now you provide for me and we'll give you a baby, but I'm not, I'm not doing that, but we have a dog.

But my question for you though, is because you were on a show where all these women were after you, I feel like, doesn't that fuck you up? Aren't you like, I feel like that would mess me up. In general? Like almost in the relationship and dating world. Cause you're like, all these women wanted me. Like, doesn't that make you think women are just weird now?

Well, I think the show has certainly had an effect on me. Yeah. Working on it with my therapist. I mean, you have an essential oil company now. Yeah. But as far as like being the bachelor and having women go on. Yeah. Now that specific thing, because because didn't fuck me up

because there's also the element of like, I wasn't like delusional to think like they're truly all obsessed with me. You're like, this is a show. This is- It was just like, I'm sure like I was confident in myself and that if there was a connection, I had, they would like me,

but it wasn't like these people and quite honestly, that would have turned me off if I would have thought like 30 people who were unobjectively obsessed with me. You know, like that wouldn't, I wouldn't, in that sense, I, as a guy, I mean, who likes to chase, I don't like, yeah, I like to chase. I like-

You do. I like to chase, but nothing, I don't find anything unattractive about a girl reaching out to me or pursuing me or being confident at all. Like I very much like opinionated people and women. And so that's never been a turnoff for me. Right. But yeah. So for you, when you say you like the chase, the chase could also just be like someone has pursued you and the chase is almost like getting to know each other and like yeah i hear you i don't i don't like the chase so much

in the kind of traditional sense like i have to feel like i've chased you but as a guy sure you you know you like you know you like the chase i guess i mean i'm a competitive guy for example yesterday interesting kind of... I don't really talk about my personal... That's how it... That's affected me. Sorry, I'm... What?

I don't like talking about my dating life. I've been very... For someone who's been on the show four times... Interesting. I didn't know that. I don't ever talk about my dating life. That's a good boundary for you to have probably. Yeah. It's one of those things I struggle with

because I feel like I have to make this choice between, because I haven't settled down in a traditional sense. I've dated and there's things I've gotten out about people I've dated, especially if someone is in the public eye. Yeah. But I feel like I have to, I'm stuck between this choice of being perceived as a whore you know, especially if someone is in the public eye. Yeah. But I feel like I have to,

I'm stuck between this choice of like being perceived as a whore because like if I date someone for three months and like I don't show them on my social because then it's like over the course of the year, maybe I've dated four or five people, you know, right? Yeah. Or just notoriously single. I've chosen the notoriously single

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What is that? Do you say that about every question? Have you ever been in the friend zone? Have you friend zoned guys? You're in a, you're engaged. Do you have guy friends? I have a million guy friends. Do you have guy friends that you've had sex with before?

No, no. These are things people find themselves in. I don't understand the concept of friend zoning. I think it's kind of a weird weird like almost sexist idea and concept that guys made up where they're like oh she won't fuck you you're in the friends how about we're just friends how about there's there you're just my friend and we were never gonna have sex and i don't like you that way you don't like me that way but i have i feel like i have great guy friends who have no they're not interested in me at all and I make it

we all make it very clear and I think that's kind of has to be the approach some guy that like is being your friend because he wants more that's fucking creepy man let me know out the gate you're attracted to me I know what this is you know that's creepy what is this like get in as the friend and then we'll fall in love? That's so fucking weird. No. Don't think women do that too? Yeah, I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. Yeah.

And that would suck, actually. And I, in fact, I've always... I think men do it more. I've always been very conscious of that. And I never want to do that to a guy. I never want to make a guy... I never want to creep a guy out. Like, I know that that's fully in my... I'm capable of make a guy I never want to creep a guy out like I know that that's fully in my

I'm capable of creeping a guy I don't want to do that so I always I would never want to betray the friendship and then be like oh well now I like you and now it's now I'm going to be this creep who we can't keep talking because I have to develop feelings for you like I don't that's my problem that's not the other person's problem. Do you think you've never done that because you are, do you think you're a confident person? Yeah, in ways, yeah. Yeah, like you, I don't know you that well, but you seem like you have no problem being assertive

at the appropriate moment. Yes. So in that sense, if you liked a guy in being the chaser that you are, you'll just let them know. I think people do it because they're afraid yeah that's true just like oh they want to hang out with me and i'm just too afraid to go there so yeah let's be friends well i think that there's a difference between a couple hangouts where you're kind of feeling the vibe out and like pursuing like having

a real friendship for months or maybe even years because you're right i feeling the vibe out and like pursuing like having a real friendship for months or maybe even years because you're right I do think actually I know this maybe seems contradictory but hopefully you understand it's like the best way to get to know someone if you're going to maybe be in a relationship with them is to just treat it as a friendship for like a couple dates I mean like this is a date but but I'm treating you as though, that's just always been my, that's helped me stay calm when I like someone. Is to be like, it's like if I liked you,

what would I, I wouldn't like put on some kind of weird like show. I would just be like, okay, I'm gonna talk to him as a friend and see how that goes. But it wouldn't be like a long developed friendship. It would be like, we would know after a couple of hangs. I like that. You take the, it's like, yeah,

you don't dress up more than you would to meet a friend. Sure, you like look nice. Yeah. But like, if you were, you wear jeans and t-shirts out, you wear it. I like that too. I find it weird if on a first date, someone looks like they went a little extra.

Yeah, and also acting a little extra. Like they're like everything, they're so cute and perfect. Like that's not attractive to me and I don't wanna do that. But yeah, the friend zone thing is tough. Like, again, I know I said I want to pursue and I think for me, I know right away, like what, how am I going about this? And so, but it is, you know what? There is totally situations where I'm sure you get to know someone as a friend and then

you guys develop feelings. I've genuinely never had that happen, but I can see how that's like a common thing. I've genuinely never had that happen, but I can see how that's like a common thing. I think it only happens when one of the people in this friendship has always been lying to themselves in the friend. Like it was never really there. Thank you.

I like that. There's exceptions to every rule. You know, every time I say something like that, everyone's like, well, that's not how I met her. I have been able to have friends who are women who I've had sex with. I hate this so much. I hate this. Let me explain.

I hate it. Here's how you do it. Here's how you do it. Here's how you do it. In both cases, we met in a dating situation. The objective for both of us is to potentially date. And then we went on a couple of dates and then we had some sex. And we enjoyed each other's company.

And for whatever reason, mostly probably because I don't show affection and I'm i'm really guarded i don't know i'm just like i don't really know you see fucking suck uh and uh and then it just kind of ended yeah for no you mean you ghosted them no no we just kind of i don't ghost we just kind of stopped hanging out and in both cases time went by this happened with three people not two three people um and then we reconnected somehow either like we bumped into each other at a party or one of them reached out just okay and like knowledge like you know it wasn't gonna work out but you're cool so like let's hang okay and then we just became friends and quickly like so the sex is off the table we've got that out of the way you know i feel like i'm in a 90s sitcom look sex is off the table i like and then i've never heard anyone say that to me we've never

said that we just we just knew like we've already had sex and so like there's no like awkward oh i mean like i want to be in a sitcom with you right now where you just are like est've already had sex. And so like there's no like awkward. Oh, I mean, like. I want to be in a sitcom with you right now where you just are like, Esther, sex is off the table. We've already done it. And then like she's talking to me about guys. I'm talking to her about girls. And we're just straight up friends. But aren't you ever like, oh, we're going to get hammered one night and we're going to end up doing it again? No.

And I've gotten drunk with these people and gone out. And like there's no. And that's the it's not like well we've had sex we don't hook up but like they've spent the night no it's friends it's straight up friends like they've never there's no line ever crossed and i've been able to be friends with these people and there's no weird feelings there's no weird nothing maybe yeah it was because we had sex okay right bad sex i i don't have complaints i don't maybe they do but i again they're like miss that one thank god i love by the way come to me with your worst sex i'll fix you like there's no but i don't have bad

sex it's on i will fix what do you mean fix you like there's no but i don't have bad sex it's on i will fix what do you mean by that like there's if a guy is doing something wrong i'm like no we're figuring this out right now okay communicator yeah again you're the person who has no problem with the appropriate moment speaking i think that's great i've always said half the battle is just giving a shit and wanting to be good yeah right like especially for guys you hear a lot of stories who just guys just assume i have a dick therefore i'm awesome at sex and that's not a good thing any guy who's just like any guy like you said it's like i keep telling i've told the story you know the best one of the best things that ever happened

to me is in high school a friend of a girl I was dating pulled me aside at gym class and said, stop doing what you're doing. Here's how you do it. And I was like, Oh, wait, I got, I learned how to have sex in high school too.

I swear. It wasn't even sex. It was like, we were just like making out and basically like just cranking on each other's privates for 45 minutes. They, you know, you know, when you gave hand jobs in high school like your guys are just like oh my god this sucks and you think it's cool but it's not because she's like doesn't know what she's doing and guys do the same thing where they're out there just jackhammering with their hands like she fucking

loves this and she's too afraid to say something meanwhile the next day you're just like my fuck can't move my hand because like you're doing it for 45 minutes you're like when do we stop doing you know like no one's making each other calm you just keep going and meanwhile you think you're awesome and i'll never she pulled me aside and she's like that don't do that don't do that and i was like oh and she did it in a very nice way and she just told me what to do and it again changed my life because it just taught me that like you just have to ask yeah people are different you have to care and everyone's different i'm a bad kisser i'm famously a bad kisser my fiance always tells me this he's like the first time when you kissed me it was you

were too excited you shoved your tongue down my throat you kiss like you're in middle school and i still that's how i that's i like that like i'm sticking i'm committing to that bad kissing style how did he kiss so you he's not the only one it's not no i yeah that's i'm a terrible kisser everyone tells me it's like you're you're too excited i get too excited to kiss i mean it's hard for me to only dogs only dogs know how to kiss me i'm trying to figure out how i get is there a one of your in a movie or show that you're doing where you're making out where i can see this no but it's just like just you're really excited and you will give a lot of tongue i think it's i think it's hot i can see how that could be a problem lizard tongue

is not hot what What's lizard tongue? I don't know. Like when it goes really, really, really, really fast. No, no, no. I can deal with a lot of tongue. What I can't deal with is just the open mouth, no movement. 100%. Where you have to do all the work. It's like what?

No, it's like the open mouth, like the tongue movement. No, it's boring. That's the worst. I don't's like the open mouth like the tongue no it's boring that's the worst i don't know what to do you know like just half open that i that's to me is the only way you're a bad kisser yeah oh if you do nothing do nothing if i have someone who's doing nothing i'm like i know what to do with that i can i'll do it all but wait i want to go back to high school teenage girl sex advice because i learned how to go back to high school teenage girl sex advice because i learned how to have sex in high school too and i got the best advice from like the pretty

popular girl like we i was like i just was like let's get let's have a lunch meeting i treated high school did you schedule the meeting yeah high school sex for me was like how i treat like business now i'm like let's sit down let's's do lunch. Tell me what to do. And she was like, you just do what feels good for you. And that's what guys like. And I was like, Oh, perfect.

Cause you, there's no, you don't know how to, you just go in and do what you want. And I'm like, Oh, that's good advice. And I'm just wanting to share that with all the listeners.

Just do what you want. I think that's great. But what do you mean specifically? There's no specifics. You have to interpret. It's to the user's interpretation. Do what you want. Just go in and do what you want and get out.

And if a guy's not good at something, you agree, because you should just tell him. Yeah, yeah. How would you go about it? Are you afraid of hurting guys' ego? No, because I have this like full face and I'm like, look like I'm somehow 11 years old and also 73. Like nobody's going to get hurt. Their feelings hurt by me.

I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not the, like the, the gorgeous figured lady that's going to let them down. No, I'm just like, all right,

this is not, let's figure this out together. It's okay. I'm on your side. I'm here to help. We both, we're on the same team. We both want this to be good. Let's do it. And have you ever had a guy get defensive? No. Guys love,

guys want to know. That's good to hear because I hear a lot of stories where it's the opposite and I'm just like, I don't think... By the way, if you pull, and this could go for girls too, if you... to hear because i hear a lot of stories where it's the opposite and i'm just like i don't think by the way if you pull and this could go for girls too if you people just want to know that you like them if if you tap a girl on the sky on the shoulder just pull them like hey i i like you there's nothing hotter than being told that you're someone, someone likes you, whatever. I like you, let's just like make some adjustments here. Okay? Like, I just, I think it would be scary

if someone was like, don't, you're doing that wrong. You know, you just have to be like, I like you, like, let's, come on. It's a great way to do it. But some people will say things like, why do you do that? Well, then they're- I know.

That's not, you can't can't do all about your delivery and you also i don't think it's cool to shame someone for what they're into not that i've like been through things that are crazy but like i think you kind of have to just understand that if someone likes that they like that and you don't want to um so with friends on friends with benefits you think are equally as disruptive i don't really to um so with friendzone friends with benefits you think are equally as disruptive i don't really get the friends with benefits either yeah that someone it's like the same thing you're someone's playing someone there's like a i just maybe there's this world where there's these hyper attractive people out there who are hyper confident and they can just

have sex with people and it means nothing because there's so many other people out there that wanna have sex with them, so it's not a big deal. Maybe that I'm totally open to the fact that that exists. It's not my experience. I'm not on that wavelength from that planet, but I know there are people on a different planet than me. Like I just, I know that super hot girls, their experience in life is way different than mine. And I mean, I had this roommate know when i first moved to la i always had like revolving roommates

and i had one she's this beautiful blonde girl she's an actress and we had just she just moved in with me and we're like let's go out like let's have fun we went to a bar in santa monica something i'd never done and we walk in the bar and immediately like seven guys walk up to her and ask her like, okay, buy you a drink. And I was like, what is happening? I was like, I thought, I thought that only happened in movies. Like that's a real thing. And that's when I learned like, oh, like people, they're attractive. People are, they're living a different life. I accept it. attractive people are they're living a different life i accept it i'm fine with it i like my spot i'm i've gotten cozy where i am i'm like okay that's your world that's yeah like my world is also like which i'm sure you'll agree my world is also like hey how are you so tell me about your

friend which is fine i don't want to make you feel uncomfortable like we're telling you like you have like this superpower no it's i think you guys have your own problems i'm very like i said i'm very comfortable where i am you guys come with issues like fucking these friends with benefits situations you have these crazy games it's it's a thing thing. Well, I don't think the friends with benefits, I think friends with benefits is just a different term for friend zone. Well, it's a different type of friend zone. Yeah. Yes.

It's like, I want to fuck you, but I don't like you enough to go. It's the, I'm bored and I'm too lazy to go look for sex. No, it's the, I want to date you. You'll have sex with me, but you won won't date me and so we'll just keep playing this game you're hooking up on a regular basis and you're playing house someone doesn't want to commit but we're at least acknowledging there's a physical attraction the fret the straight friend zone is i want to have sex with you and you don't even want to have sex with me but i want to also date you does that make sense in both situations someone's lying you know it's like yeah the friends with benefit is you still

like someone wants to have more the relationship yeah there's always the friend zone you want to have relationship you're just not having sex yeah hooking up is just like yeah we fuck once in a while and there's like no commitment you're not not going to movies. You're not hanging out. You're not going to the whatever flea markets together. You're just calling each other up late at night and like once in a while having sex. That is like, that's more of a hookup. That's not friends with benefits.

That's just like, I got a hookup friend. To me friends with benefits, I hear that. And I think it's like, we're literally friends, but we just like go in the bedroom to just like, it's like a very, it's just about physical needs. I don't know. This is just like a child's brains interpretation of it. Cause I've never had that.

So I don't know what you said. It's what you said. Are you a sex positive person what is that that i'm genuinely asking well you uh you uh like talking about like sex is a positive thing you don't uh yeah sex shame you're no yeah uh you're how do you feel about hooking up on the first date uh i was always that person and i've learned that you shouldn't do that you shouldn't no don't do that because it's i don't know like i'm you know what i'm pretty much third date which is easy that's like easy that's too easy. Don't do that. What's the difference between third and first date?

A callback. Well, yeah, a callback. You know a little more. Also, it's usually a lot easier. For me and my relationship, I kind of made it all happen. My friends call me the master manipulator. They say that I have everything in my life planned out on my computer at home secretly. Like I'm this creep that's like planning it all.

But that's only a little bit true. Because our first date was just coffee. Well, it was supposed to be my show. And then I got to my show and I didn't want to perform because I knew if it went bad that that would ruin the vibe. So the first date was coffee. Second date was dinner. Third date was let's hang out. want to perform because I knew if it went bad that that would ruin the vibe so I it was the first day was coffee second date was dinner third date was let's hang at your place so I just don't think you can I think it's a little too much to have a first date be out and then be like let's go back home I think that's too you're like too much too soon just in terms of hanging out

like i think we should have our boundary like let's go to let's go home separately i don't know why what's your i i uh i i don't think there's a difference between the first second third fourth you sound like we're on a date and you're like look the third date's the same we might as well do it tonight now but in fact it's after midnight it's technically day two no i'm but if you if a girl if you hook up with a girl on the first date how do you what do you what's your take on that i i don't think there i think whatever you i think what you do is totally fine what i i'm just saying there's nothing there's no difference between the first and third date. If you want to wait, wait.

If you're like, I would want to take it slow. I'm not saying that's wrong. That's great. And if you are saving it for marriage, great. If you want to wait a year, great. I just equate it to my movie analogy. People like certain movies a lot. They'll want to rewatch them.

Yeah. Sometimes you watch a movie it's fine you don't need to see it again is it sex yeah and sometimes you walk out of the movies it's terrible and sex is the same way it is especially early on if the difference like if a guy has sex you on the third date and likes having sex he'll want to have sex with you again if a guy has sex in the first date and likes having sex, he'll want to have sex with you again. If a guy has sex with you on the first date and likes having sex with you, he'll want to have sex again. It's just a matter of them liking sex. It's them liking you and it's not like...

The only thing about waiting, and that's why I think there's no difference between the first and third date. Because if you have sex that early, so much of the guy's decision to keep hanging out will be based on the sexual experience. If you wait two or three months and they really know who you are, there might be more of a balance and they might be like, sex was good. And then maybe you teach each other and get familiar with each other. So I'm just saying there's not much of a difference between first and third. If you're

going to have sex early, have sex early. like waiting the third date is not going to somehow get him to like you more i agree i think that's really good honest feedback i agree i yeah i always did it wrong because i was always so if i like someone i was so excited to have sex with them i needed to do it right away and i've learned that that's not really the right healthy i think there's a wrong or right way and again if you want to if you're a girl or a guy who wants this like i just want to have sex with this person i'm not worried about yeah if it's gonna go anywhere maybe it will then i'm gonna have sex what is bad sex though because you like how is a girl bad at sex it's not good or bad it's just a bad chemistry it's like watching a movie i don't know not even clunky for me it's just like am i

just really into this person yeah again it's not bad sex it's totally good it's fine i just i i may not ever need to watch it again this is wild and if i like if i see it on TV again, and if I have to watch it again, I'll probably enjoy it. Oh, my God. And there's some movies where I'm just like, oh, God, such a good movie. I can't wait to see it again. Sometimes you're just like, oh, God, how long is this movie on for? Is it over yet? I feel like women are the same way.

Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. I the same way. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. I'm just taking it in. I'm just taking it in. Filtering it. I do feel like there's more variance. Men can get, I think for men, women can only get so much better.

They're either into it or they're not. I think for men with women, you can really, men can really be terrible or great. Just how much they give a shit. Right. Yeah. I think with men,

you mean like their sensitivity? Like, what do you mean? Like how much they give a shit? Like what I'm saying is if I'm attracted to a girl and I, there's chemistry, pheromones, physical attraction,

whatever, I'm probably going to like having sex with her. Yeah. Unless she just shows up and does's chemistry, pheromones, physical attraction, whatever. I'm probably going to like having sex with her. Yeah. Unless she just shows up and does nothing or says weird things or- Baby talk. Actually, baby talk. The daddy stuff. Actually, that wasn't your special.

Yeah, you don't like that. You throw out a daddy once and surprise me and you say it in a way that's kind of hot you say it over and over and over and over all of a sudden i'm like okay i can't this is fucking weird like you get in my head why you know you you anything once you'll surprise me i'm like okay that's a little nasty like okay but you say it multiple times and i'm just gonna be like wait you're like that's a little nasty like okay just for you but you say it multiple times and i'm just gonna be like wait you're like there's a problem here there's a yeah anything too too much of anything yeah don't repeat the same rule number one of talking dirty i don't know how it is for women but for men just don't say anything over and over and over if you don't know what to say say nothing yeah

sprinkle it in stop repeating yourself speak from the heart i don't i agree don't repeat yourself don't repeat yourself too much yeah so that is i have a bit about this in my stand-up but i wanted to i'm like because i'm in this committed relationship so i'm like we're in it like let's just do it up. Like, let's just, we, let's just sample everything. So I was like,

I'm going to call you daddy. And he's like, no, he will. He's not down with that. He he's disgusted by it. And especially if a girl said, I just a heads up,

this is going to happen immediately. Turn off, you know, like anything once you're just like okay i'm a little caught off guard but this seems wrong and wrong's kind of hot but like you say it one more time but if you gave me a warning can i i'm gonna try daddy on you fuck no fuck fuck no baby talk is the fucking worst what is baby talk is just like whining pampering yeah or literal baby talk i've had that no you haven't had like a girl be like goo goo gaga

not goo goo gaga but i had a girl ask me to read her a story oh my god i i get during sex i want that i want that i've asked my i've had i've had him read to me not sexually but i i i do baby talk but it's not in in a sexual context it's like i spilled and then he's gonna be like stop don't do that he He hates it. He shuts it down. I fucking, I, no, any type of. Yeah. I fucking hate it. There's nothing I hate more. I need, like, if you're sad, if you're real sadness and you cry, I'm totally fine with that. But if you act like a child.

Yeah. I'm sad. If you're like, that does not work on me. Yeah. Be like, oh, I'm trying to be cute and get my way. Stop it right now or I will leave you forever. You should get lunch with my fiance. You guys are the same. Like you guys will get, you're in the same vein.

Yeah. He can't, he's disgusted by it. It's so gross. I fucking hate it. But I don't, I've dated enough of women where it's just like why do you i just don't get why it must work on some guy yeah i don't i guess it does yeah i don't know i've never it's never worked for me but i won't stop trying how are you with breakups horrible irible. I've only ever been dumped.

I've never broken up with someone. And are you jealous of that? Jealous of what? I think you're winning in that department. Why? For a couple of reasons. Breaking up with someone is never fun. Yeah.

And I also think, not to sound, I think being broken up with Bill's character. It sure does, yes, and that character is Izzy on Dollface. Season one is on Hulu. No, I agree. I also am all about feeling it. I'm never that person's gonna pretend I'm okay,

so when I get dumped, anyone in my peripheral vision is going to hear about it. And that surely cuts people out of my life. People are like, I'm done with this, but I need to get through it and I need help. And I reach out for help and the right people find me and will help me. But yeah, that sucks. Being dumped sucks, but it is also such a good, that sucks being dumped sucks but it is also such a good you it's almost like you get this reset button that you can't get from anything else but being dumped and you like start to work out more and you eat better and you're like because you have to stay really busy to get your mind off of it so i do think it getting dumped is like a mini bootcamp of like making your life a little better a huge red flag for me would be someone who's never been broken up with oh why i just i

i'm worried about them being a sociopath because they're dumping everyone yeah there's just you have to care about someone enough to be vulnerable enough to like, you know, because everyone's annoying in a sense, right? Like I don't care who you are. And if you haven't annoyed someone enough to break up with you, then you can't be yourself. This is amazing. I'm writing this one down.

Heartbreak. What? So like someone who hasn't experienced heartbreak as opposed to just dumping something. Again. Yeah. Maybe you don't have to have like this tragic heartbreak story, but you,

if I'm like, have you ever been broken up with ever and they're like no then i'm concerned then you you don't know who you are i love that is everyone listening that's the piece that's the takeaway today that was so good i just made it up probably yeah no but it's true i mean i that's always been a red flag i think the why i just kind of came up with everyone is annoying and you got to be your annoying self or you're not being true to yourself and you're just like a scary robot finding love is being annoying to the right person who is still annoyed yeah but finds it a level of endearing that they can tolerate that's love until you can find that, you haven't found yourself or you haven't found your person

and you're just like, you found someone who can tolerate you enough to have sex with. And if you're always breaking up with people, that means like someone else can be themselves, but you can't and you're just distant enough that you keep them chasing. And you're like cutting them out

because they did the wrong silly thing once instead of like just accepting them for who they are and kind of working through it a little bit. Yeah. So if you've never been dumped and you're listening. Go out there. Go out there. Start being annoying.

Get therapy. Don't date me because I'll never dump you. What else has gone on in your life? What else is going on in my life? What else is going on in my life? I'm starting a clothing line, a tie-dye based clothing line. What? Really? Can I get some?

Sure. Yeah. When it's ready, I will happily send you some. And I, yeah, my standup special is done. It's a weird time for me because it's a pandemic. So standup is like gone. Yeah. So I'm, that's why i've been like

focusing on the tie-dye stuff just because that is fun for me it makes me happy and i love sweatpants and um and yeah and i i'm on a show on hulu called doll face so we're just kind of waiting to hear if that's gonna shoot or not podcast yeah i have a podcast thank you it's called esther club and it's people say it's just like having a 30-minute FaceTime call with me. Like I'm just kind of talking to them. And then I host a beauty podcast called Glowing Up, which we talk about wellness stuff. You should come on and talk about your essential oils. I would gladly.

All right, Esther, before we let you go, I'm going to play a fun game called Do You Know Me? Okay. We're going to ask you some questions. We're going to guess the answers so oh don't yell it out okay try not to give it away with your face as well okay just be like you know don't like when i'm whenever i play games groups people i the person who has to have a paper bag over my head because I cheat with my face. Okay, try not to. Also, but if you do, it's fine.

And once you do answer the question, if you want to explain your answer, you can. If you don't want to, you don't have to. Okay. Do you know me with Esther Povitsky? Question number one. I actually think I know the answer to this because I watched her special.

Number one, I actually think I know the answer to this because I watched her special. Has Esther washed her sheets in the past week? I'm going to say no because she describes herself as filthy at times. I'm going to say yes because she's also very like, I live in a pandemic. So let's see. Do I answer now? Yes. No, I have have not i don't want i'm sorry i carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere and i did that before the pandemic and my therapist

threatened to throw my hand sanitizer away because she was like i think you have a problem but no i have not washed my sheets within the last week i'm just i don't know i haven't either a week maybe once a month i don't know there, I don't know. I haven't either. A week, maybe once a month. I don't know. I don't know. I do it every week. You do?

I'm like a crazy, overly clean. I mean, I don't. Ridiculous. But I would agree that I think it's gross that I don't. Okay. I'm fine with it. It's my bacteria. They're my bedbugs. They know me.

Again, totally fine. No judgment fine no judgment just as much as like running on purpose question number two did esther ever have to wear a uniform to work i'm gonna say yes yeah i mean sure at some point Although she's a bit of a nonconformist, I feel like. But I also feel like I would have loved to see her like a Dairy Queen. Here's what I'm going to say. Here's what I'm going to say. Yes, technically she has. Whatever that job was, it did not go well.

Well played. You may answer. Okay. I worked in carryout at Mangiano's where I wore a uniform. I worked at Johnny Rockets. I worked at Hard Rock Cafe. And I didn't work at Dairy Queen, but I was in several Dairy Queen commercials where I wore the uniform and kept it because I was so excited to have the iconic look.

You were in Dairy Queen commercials. That's right. It's a big win. It is, especially for someone as big of a Dairy Queen fan. and kept it because i was so excited to have the iconic look you're in dairy queen commercials that's right it's a big win it is especially for someone as big of a dairy queen fan as myself yeah oh my god my parents as a kid orio blizzard truly it's magic nothing better it's the only reason you behaved as a child to get a. Like, what else was I good for? Has Esther talked to one of their parents today? It's early. It's the morning. It's the morning.

They're in the Midwest, though, so they've been up a little bit. I'm going to say no, but I want to say your dad called you randomly for no reason often. I agree. No. Okay. You're right.

I haven't talked to them today yet. But they don't call me randomly for no reason often. They don't. I have to call them. They're like, because they know if they call me at the wrong time, I'm like, what? Like, I'm like in a bad mood. So they just let me come to them. They're like, cause they know if they call me at the wrong time, I'm like, what? Like I'm like in a bad mood. So they just let me come to them. Oh.

And if they do call randomly, they'll be like, are you okay? You didn't call us the last two days. I'm like, I'm fine. So they don't, I call them.

Okay. Yeah. So you don't talk to them every day. Most days though. Can Esther roll a joint? A hundred percent. Yes. She can do it. Most days, though. Can Esther roll a joint? 100%. Yes, she can do it. Everyone's learned at some point.

I'm going to say no. I've never smoked weed. I've never touched it. No, I can't. You can know how to roll a joint without touching it. Why? I mean, great. Is there a particular reason why you are been substance free your whole life?

I feel like there's like almost a million reasons. Like I just was never interested in it and I love cupcakes. So I'm like, the way I love desserts, I'm going to be too weird with these other things that I'll have less control over. So I'm just going to play it safe and sit that one out.

For addictive personality is reserved for brownies, people. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, I drank a little bit in my 20s. I didn't touch any other drug until my 30s. And that was because D.A.R.E. worked for me big time big time yeah it did work for me too i was scared no i'll never forget this is a true story i'm not making it up we had dare fifth grade i think you

know and they give you like charts of like what drugs do to you yeah did they bring you the fucking up cars and stuff they turn you green and. And I just was like, and then in middle, I'll never forget eighth grade, some of my friends dabbled in smoking marijuana. And I just remember actively being like, guys, did you not pay attention in D.A.R.E.? I love this. It's going to turn you green. This is an actual thought I had. It just, D.A.R.E. made so much sense to me.

I'm just a kid being like, yeah, of course, I'll never do this. Yes. Never. Yes. This is terrible. Same.

Yes. And I had a good older sister who was like, look, drugs can be laced with things. You don't know what you're getting and you could just suddenly die for no reason.

I'm like, great. Enough said. Scared. Yeah. Done. I was scared of my mother to get caught. I think it was in line with like being Catholic and Catholic guilt and shame.

Same. So it all kind of worked. And then, and I don't do a lot of substance now, but that smoking marijuana was a real moment for me. Does Esther like pulp in their orange juice i'm gonna adjust this and say does esther mind pulp because no i don't know if anyone likes pulp i don't know if everyone's drinking orange juice and go you know what this is missing pulp but there's plenty of people like myself don't mind pulp at all so So does Esther loathe pulp is the question.

Yeah, I don't think she likes pulp. I don't think so either. I hope not. I love pulp. No. Do you really? Because it shows me that the orange juice is fresh. It's real.

Yeah. What is it? I don't want it from concentrate. I want it fresh. I just want to put through a strainer. That doesn't fresh it's real it's show yeah what is it i don't want it from concentrate i want it fresh and i want i i just want to put through a strainer that doesn't mean it's not fresh it's just a strainer no i want to i wanted my orange juice to be so pulpy i feel like it's a meal no i want it to be half meal this is the uh like it's stuck purest dinner all right two more does esther crack her knuckles i mean she's cracked her knuckles but. Does Esther crack her knuckles? I mean, she's cracked her knuckles,

but she doesn't crack her knuckles. Is it a habit? Yeah, no. She hasn't done it since she's gotten here. Yeah. No. I was a hand model in fourth grade. What?

Yeah. In fourth grade. American Girl Doll Catalog. Yeah, that's me. I know you knew you knew me from somewhere. That's these babies. So magnificently random. The last question.

Can Esther name all four Beatles? Technically, there were five, I feel like, but can you name all four? Yeah. First names only would suffice. I'm going to say no. Paul. Yeah. Ringo.

Yeah. Tom. Paul. Yeah. Ringo. Yeah. Tom. What? Tom. Tom the beetle. No, John and. This one's probably the hardest. John two.

George. George. Okay. So no. Okay. That's okay. Yeah. This is the Beatles.

I feel like, I could have pictured you being a big Beatles fan. I like the music, but I just think someone who loves the Beatles, it's like, what's wrong with you? Like, what are you trying to prove?

One of my best friends is married to someone who obsessed with the Beatles, plays the Beatles. She volunteers at a food kitchen every week and always plays the Beatles. She volunteers at a food kitchen every week and always plays the Beatles. But I think it's fine, though. They get engaged on stage in front of Paul McCartney. I just think when you're too obsessed with one thing,

it's like, what are you hiding from all of us? Yeah, there's something weird. Yeah. But it's fine. Like, that's how they're coping. Everybody has their one weird thing. Yeah. It's just coping. What's your one weird thing. Yeah. It's just coping.

What's your one weird thing? I have a million weird. It's all weird. Everything is bad. Everything I do is shady and bad and weird. I doubt that. Wait, so you asked, I know you're wanting to get me out of here, but you did ask me a story about walk-air and I want to tell it to you quickly.

Yes. So it's a dating story because i know this show is about dating um and i haven't done it in a very long time but in high school i went on i went on one blind date in my life have you gone on a blind date like what do you mean by blind date what do i mean you don't because all right because like i've never been on a true blind date i haven't been like i'm gonna set you up with someone and I just agree to show up not knowing anything about this person. I've never done that.

Okay. I did it. And this was back in the day in high school. So there wasn't, it wasn't like everyone had Instagram. You could kind of truly have a blind date. So I, and my, basically one of my best girlfriends from who I did dance with outside of school, I had just gotten out of a relationship and i was looking to meet someone and she had just got a new boyfriend from a different school

and you know in high school like you know all the guys from your school so it's like oh now there's going to be like people from a different school this is exciting so i'm like okay great so i go to the blind i go to the it's a double date me and me and them and his friend and we're at california pizza kitchen i see him i'm not like holy shit he's so hot but i'm like he's cute you know like he's tall he's cute and we have dinner and we're talking we have a lot in common and it's like i don't know there's like a vibe and it's good and i'm like know, there's like a vibe and it's good. And I'm like, this could be something like maybe whatever. And at the end of the meal,

he's like, wait, what did, he gets kind of like weird. He's like, what did you say your last name was? And I'm like, oh, it's Povitsky. He just looks at me, he's like, oh, we're cousins. What? I'm like, what? And he's like, i'm jason like yeah i'm and i'm like oh yeah because he says his full name and i'm like oh my god yeah i remember your grandma's funeral yeah i remember that okay in high school yeah like we are that's how disconnected my dad's

side of the family is that i went on a full date with my cousin and would have not known it. First cousin? No, I have no first cousins on that side. So second, I would say, or something like that. I feel like that's an important thing to not having really scar you. True. That said, I have first cousins who I'm super attracted to, but that's... Let me dive into that that just took a turn i was when i was little i should have said i was attracted to them i'm not anymore um i don't think yeah i'm from the midwest cousins whatever but i did not want to date my cousin so i was like okay it's a great title attracted to her cousins no have you ever gone on a date with your cousin no i i i have a hot cousin in the sense that she was older yeah and a lot she was a model and all my friends thought she was super hot and i just didn't get it interesting so your brain works right. It worked properly. So your brain works right. Congratulations. I was like, really? Good for you. Her?

I guess. I don't know. But yeah. That's weird. Esther, this has been a ton of fun. I know. Thanks so much for coming. I know.

Where can people find you? I have a solo podcast called Esther Club, and that's on YouTube and everywhere else. And then if you're into beauty, I have Glowing Up, which is also a podcast. and then if you're into beauty i have glowing up which is also a podcast and my one hour stand-up special it's called hot for my name and it's free on uh cc.com through comedy central it's very good thank you i watched it enjoyed it it's uh produced by adam sandler and comedy central um yeah and then i'm on doll face on hulu with shane mitchell cat endings and brenda song you're killing it I'm on Dollface on Hulu with Shay Mitchell, Kat Dennings, and Brenda Song. You're killing it.

How much time do we have before you're too famous and too successful to be friends with me? No time. Nothing is going to change me. That's been established. I drive a 2001 Toyota Camry. I saw that you followed me on Instagram. So you must have seen that yesterday I did it. I ate Taco Bell in my car. I nothing.

I'm good. You're good. You're safe. Cause I feel like this could be a nice friendship. No, I know. And you and her husband have so much in common. I'm feeling like I'm catching you right when things are about to pop here.

You're so kind. And I'm catching you right when things are about to pop here and i'm catching you on the way on the way to essential oil success yeah which is arguably that's like she's gonna stay friends with you just so she can have oil for life um i want no i would love for you to come do an episode of esther club i think that would be really fun me you and your fiance he's no he's not on it anymore i kicked him off just us all right that's her it's been a ton of fun uh thanks for coming uh thanks for listening guys as always oh you want to come back for one of our ask nick episodes and we'll give people relationship advice i feel like you'd be quite i would love to let's do it great uh don't forget to send your questions at ask nick at cast me.com cast with cast with a K, subscribe, five stars, all that fun stuff.

And we will see you on Monday.