The Viall Files - E19 Breaking Down F*ckboys with Call Her Daddy

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

Today I’ve brought on the ladies of Call Her Daddy, Alexandra Cooper and Sofia Franklyn, to talk about…well…f*ckboys. What are they, why are they, and AM I ONE?? These women are hilarious and definitely kept me on my toes. We also take a call from fans, and one of them took me by surprise. Get ready to learn about Voodoo Clams, the Gluck Gluck 9000, and how to trap a f*ckboy. Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Thanks to our sponsors: NOOM http://noom.com/viall HUM NUTRITION http://humnutrition.com/get_started See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're excited. Up, down, left, right, all the way around. Forward. I have the very charming and wonderful ladies from Call Her Daddy. Very hit new podcast out. So when you're done listening to this, go check it out. I think they also drop on Wednesdays. We do. I feel like maybe this is like a risky episode. Don't be so awesome. We will.

Oh, take all your listeners, steal them all away. Come on girls, come with us. We have Alex, we have Sophia. Hello. I, these wonderful ladies are here today. A bit of a butterfly effect. I connected with Alex on the internet once. Okay. What does that mean, Nick? That sounded dirty. Whoa. We connected on LinkedIn. It was a great moment for us.

I was like, do you want to have coffee? I want to talk about podcasting. We met on a dating app. Yeah. We met on Raya. And then this is actually our first time meeting. First time meeting in person. Yeah.

It was, I think I messaged you first. Yep. It was something really benign like hey if you're ever in la uh-huh yeah i'm like probably never see you but this is cute actually you were like oh if my memory serves uh-oh should i pull it up i don't even remember uh well you're just like oh i sometimes come to la i'll definitely let you know okay it was totally like totally nothing really special about the conversation. Except then all of a sudden, for some reason, you got a little chatty.

I did? You were funny. It's a compliment. You were like, I don't know, you were, because usually when people are bantering back and forth, it's like, hey, hi. Right. What do you, nothing. Yeah, I think a lot of times when I, if I'm going to talk to a guy over a dating app,

like I like to be really funny. You let your humor shine through. You were definitely, I got the impression, trying to fuck with me and seeing if I could hang. Yeah, I know. It's the impression I got. I think that I always say like sarcasm is my love language. I think like if a guy can't get my humor, then I don't like don't have time for it. So I felt like we were rifting pretty good.

And then I went to New York. Oh, yeah. And I messaged you. I'm like, how many New Yorkers went to New York. Oh, yeah. And I messaged you. I'm like, how many New Yorkers did you get together? Oh, I remember that actually. And she was like, I'm podcasting. And I was like, okay. And then we just forgot about each other.

Yeah, right. It never happened. It never happened. But now. And then I was doing this podcast. And then I got some DMs from fans who listen to the show and said I should have these two young ladies on my show. And immediately at the time, I didn't know.

I was call her daddy. And with podcasting, you kind of see what other podcasts are out there and see who's kicking ass. And you guys are always up there in the ratings and the rankings. And I was like, who are these girls? And then I kind of looked in and I was like, oh shit. That's crazy. That's so funny.

This is the girl I matched with on Rye who I thought was like at least a cool communicator on a dating app. Yeah, when you messaged me, you're like, I have so many people asking for Call Her Daddy to come on. And then I just looked and it's you. I had no idea. I had no idea. But that made it easy to connect and for us to come on. So here we are. Here we are.

I thought this would be a fun episode. I get a lot of questions about fuckboys and players. And I thought you two, who could be better at talking about fuckboys and players than you two? You've talked about it

on your show. It's a very funny episode. Yeah. What did you guys call that episode? It's called finessing a fuckboy or fuckgirl because fuckgirls are out there too. It was almost like you guys call that episode? It's called finessing a fuck boy or fuck girl. Cause fuck girls are out there too.

It was almost like you guys are like fuck boy whisperers. Probably. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. I like that a lot. You know, um, how'd you guys meet?

Oh, it's a really interesting story. It's like so interesting. It's worthy of a podcast. We could, yeah. I mean, it's,

we can tell like, well, we can do it quickly quickly through a random person that we kind of both didn't meet

she met this girl in an Uber pool and I met her because I was subleasing in her apartment for two months and I was like do you know anyone

that would want to go in an apartment with me and she was like I know this girl I met randomly in an Uber that I've kind of connected with still

she introduced the two of us and we the day we met we signed a lease together went out and got drunk together. And then we were like best friends ever since. So you guys live together. So we live together. The day we met, we signed a lease. Yeah. And then we became best friends first and roommates first. And then we started the podcast randomly together. Yeah. So at what point are you like, we should totally podcast we actually were going to start a YouTube channel yeah

it was a random idea I went to like film and television school so I was like always wanted to start a YouTube channel like that and Sophia and I like have good chemistry

and then we thought that it was going to be too intense like too hard of work to do to do video because we both had

nine to fives and we're like why don't we just do a podcast try it out I mean you guys are very entertaining you currently have like I don't want to callives and we're like, why don't we just do a podcast? Try it out. I mean, you guys are very entertaining. You currently have like, I don't want to call it a shtick,

but like you have like this thing you do and it's funny and you're, you have this very, it sounds like you guys take a very honest approach to dating and advice you give to women or just talk, I mean,

you give it, is it tailored to women or is it, because a lot of guys listen to your episodes too. I think not at all. I think it's really for men and women equally. We like to kind of play both sides. I think that's part of the reason why it works.

At what point did you guys, was this organically? Because you guys have a, I mean, it works well. I mean, how did you guys decide? Were you guys getting drunk at bars and talking about this kind of these topics? Yeah. The first way it kind of started was we went down to South by Southwest Film Festival and we were with all these guys. And Sophia and I just started talking like we do on the podcast, like really open and

talking about guys and girls and dating and sex. And they're slowly just all these guys started to kind of like come around us. And after like 40 minutes, no guy touched their phone and they were all just listening to us. And then afterwards, a couple of guys were like, do you guys have a show? We're like, uh, no. Like she works a finance job. I work for a magazine. And then they were like, you guys need a show. I would watch this every day. So that's where it kind of sparked. We were like our shtick. We were like, maybe we should put this into some type of show form. Yeah. But I mean, it never was meant to be a sex podcast. People find that like really crazy. Um, it just, that's what it ended up kind of. Cause that's like what our life is

right now. It's like sex. Our life is fucking right now. I don't want to say it's a sex podcast, but we talk about sex quite a bit, you know? I mean, we do here too. I wouldn't call it a sex podcast, but I mean, listen, I like that. I think in general, I'm a big believer in what I like about Your Lady's Show is that we don't talk about sex enough. Yep, right. We kind of still have that Puritan kind of culture in society.

Yeah. And we talked about this on a past episode. It was a little different theme, but when the whole Me Too movement came out, and especially the Aziz Ansari story, one of the bigger takeaways is just how much of a disconnect there is still between men and women in sex. That we're just, women are talking to other women

and they'll get in their little groups and joke around and guys will do their shit. But men and women aren't communicating where a lot of guys will be like, really? Oh shit. Like you do that too. You should do it more. It's enlightening to hear. And I'm not surprised that guys are like getting notes from women who are openly talking about what they like or what they don't like. I mean, yeah, a lot of people, I would just argue, ask questions with the people you're dating, but a lot of people are just very uncomfortable about sex and talking about it. So you guys are doing that. We try to do a little bit of that on this show, but you guys have definitely been into

it. Well, I think also there are so many guys that would be embarrassed almost to ask their guy friends specific questions about sex right and so to have two girls like us they're like this is exactly what I want you to do when you're gonna go finger me they're not gonna be like hey like Matt what do you do when you go down on a girl it's kind of awkward yeah but not that because what guys will do is guys are always like exaggerating when talking to their buddies like yeah bro i she was totally no right well she was begging for it that did not happen i mean like why don't guys why do you think more guys don't ask girls that are dating or that they're hooking up with what do you like or i i think what are you into i think because they're raised to just know what they're doing

and be good at it and be macho. Yeah, like the ego thing. Right. It's like, you should know what you're doing. Yeah. And it's like, there's porn. It's like, no, porn doesn't teach you to watch it. And then these guys are watching porn

and they're doing these ridiculous things that girls hate. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Porn is, if you, we've talked about this in the past, if you are doing, if you're performing in bed, how you watch porn. No, totally. Porn is, if you, we've talked about this in the past, if you are doing, if you're performing in bed, how you watch porn. No, no.

She will maybe pretend to have a good time and then talk about you to her friends in a not very positive way, I guess. Yes. I also think another thing we talk about is, I think a lot of girls are really afraid to talk about sex with guys for fear of being like slut shamed or it's

like, oh my gosh, you're such a slut. When really our tactic is Sophia and I are so open about talking about sex with guys we're dating and we find it makes them way more open. Liberating. Yeah. Like they like it. So have you found that to be the reaction? Like you haven't, the fact that you guys are openly talk about your sex lives and just because just by default, because you're talking about a regular basis, even if you aren't promiscuous,

they almost could come across as. Absolutely. Do you find that you've gotten more support rather than criticism or does it come both ways? I think we have gotten more support, honestly, for the most part, which I found surprising. Yeah.

We were really surprised because we knew we could get the whole like slut and whore. And it's all these people, more women like, oh, my God, thank God. These girls are teaching us and talking about like how to give a good blowjob because like a lot of girls are giving really whack ass head. Trash head. Yeah, trash head as I say. Trash head is what we call it. And then there are guys that we always talk about and no offense to guys, but they're doing like the jackhammer when they're fingering you.

And it's like my vagina hurts. So making it more normalized. I learned, I talked about, no, I talked about this on an earlier episode. I thank God I had a high school friend. Okay.

Who I was dating and I've already, I was dating a girl and you know, you don't know what the fuck you're doing in high school. So you're literally, yes, jackhammering for 45 minutes. She's like, she's going's gonna love it i'm the man she's like ow ow ow and thank god in like gym class one of her friends pulled me aside in a very cool way was this like hey she doesn't like that oh my god and i was like really gym class Where is this girl? She needs to come and call her daddy.

And I remember like she did it in a way she wasn't trying to embarrass me. But yeah. And I was like, I was like, great. Well, what do you do? Turns out the right way is a lot easier. It's a lot. There you go.

You're like breaking a sweat down there. Minimal effort. It's just all fun. But I think the girls, the reason girls don't tell guys, sometimes they're afraid to tell them they're not doing it right is because guys' egos, they're like, oh my gosh,

then they're never going to be able to get out of their head and perform correctly again. Like guys overthink it and get nervous. Do you find that to be true though? Because we've had other conversations where, because men can be dicks and they are often defensive because men do have egos. And so God forbid a guy who thinks he's the man is told, have you ever had a bad experience with a guy because you're so open to say, to get defensive and be almost aggro?

I think you and I talk about it's the way you approach it. It's not like you're not making me come. No. You're like, babe, if you do this, it's going to feel so good. I actually think a lot of men like to hear a girl say, this feels so good. Can you please do this, it's going to feel so good. I actually think a lot of men like to hear a girl say, this feels so good. Can you please do this? I think it's almost can be a turn on. Yeah. But don't be like, you're not making me orgasm. What are you doing? Then the next time he goes down on you, he's going to be freaking out and sweating and all nervous. I mean, Nick, do you like if a

girl tells you kind of, this is what I like. Yes. I mean, and I relate it back to that experience where I'm always, I'm a naturally curious person. And I remember when she told me at first, my reaction was to be embarrassed and motivated. I felt bad. I was like, well, shit, we've been doing this for like four or five times. And so basically I'm hearing that. I thought I was great. Turns out she hated it. I just never wanted to be with someone to experience that. And then I realized that, you know, once I was taught the right way, it was A, easier. Definitely enjoyed it. So that immediately gave me a lot of comfort going forward at such an early age to, to, after I was dating someone or even like, I'm pretty open. So even if like, it's the first time I have no problem being like, well, I mean, what do you, what do you like? You know,

you find as you get older that, you know, there's a, a buffet buffet of options that works with pretty much the general group. And then, and then in between there, you tweak things based off of preferences. For sure. But it was that, it was that comfort level that I got at an early age, but, and so I've almost been very into that where I'm very like communicative.

It doesn't seem like a lot of guys are still are. And I, you know, I always try to get to the root of like, how can we do that? I think it's helpful to have women like you out there being so open. What's most interesting about your, your story and starting it is you guys decided to do this without really knowing what the response would be. Yeah. Right. 100%. We had no clue. It's like, we're going to go do this. Yeah.

Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. We kind of roasted. Here we go. Yeah. I mean, we just started it being totally authentic, talking about what we talk about on a day-to-day basis and it just hit and it just worked. Yeah. Well, awesome. Well, let's, uh, let's get into this whole fuck boy player thing. It's interesting. I, I'm a little older. I feel like fuck boy, the terminology is relatively new term. I feel like back in the day it was always player. Oh, he's a player. Yeah. I personally think there's a difference.

Okay. I was listening to your podcast. It seemed like you, you guys did. It's like the fuck boy is the new player. Yeah. Yeah. But I think there's, there's still players and there's still fuck boys. Oh, can you explain that?

Yeah. I would say if you, and this is just my humble opinion that a player would be a guy who deliberately uh lies or is dishonest about his feelings towards someone and then will like actively date and lead people on about the relationship status just to get some to get laid okay and he may even do this with multiple women. I would argue that if, and then the, and then there's maybe one or two of these women who, when they talk to their friends are like, you know, I've been dating this guy and things are going really well and really excited about it. Meanwhile, he's just like, yeah, girl, I'm banging, you know, whatever. Uh, but when he

talks to her, he's saying things like he's talking about the future he's leading her on he's maybe even introducing him to friends and family and he's being the boyfriend we're in together and then he's kind of a shit you know he'll he'll always be like well babe i'm not i don't want to settle down he won't go that far right but he's definitely leading her on to me that's a player okay and a fuck boy is the guy who's like i mean no i don't want to date yeah okay and he's like, I mean, no, I don't want to date. Yeah. Okay. And he's like really open about the fact that, you know, he and a fuck boy I think can be manipulative too, but they are a little bit more direct or open about the fact that they don't want to date and they don't, they will never introduce you to their friends or family. That would be my interpretation of it. We actually say

that if a guy is going to be upfront front with you in the beginning and say, I don't think this is going to turn into anything serious, et cetera, that is not a fuck boy. That's not a fuck boy. See, I think a lot of girls, like if he's up front and he's like, this is just casual. And he's telling you how it is. That's just a girl's issue when she goes to her friends. She's like, he has sex with so many girls. It's like, well, you caught feelings.

That's your issue. So what is he? Is this a guy who likes to fuck him i think that maybe it's because of the age difference but for like i think college it's transformed from the player is now kind of the fuck boy like that's how i see it i get what you're saying um but i do think there are like two types of fuck boys i think the first type is the kind that is like a fuckboy to the core right and it's a part of his personality what do you mean by that like he like he will be 70 years old in the nursing home and he's like let's go um and then the other part is he's going through a phase he got out of a relationship or he's just like trying something

out and he just found out this new move and he's really into having sex with girls and for the next couple months like john is the biggest fuck boy and then a couple months later maybe he has a relationship but every single girl is hoping that it's just him going through a phase yeah i did a live show last week um i don't know when this is driving but i did a live show with my friend and we were talking, it just kind of loosely came up and the entire audience of women basically admitted that when a guy, cause I'm just like, Hey, listen, when a guy tells you that he's not looking for a relationship and he just wants to have sex, believe him. Right. Stop not thinking he's not telling you the truth. And every girl was basically like, I can change him. And then there's always one or two girls in the audience who are like, well, that's how I'm dating my fiance. Well, congratulations. You're the exception,

but you're fucking up everyone else's life. But seriously, girls look at a guy and they see like hearts when he's like, I don't want a relationship. They're like, I'm going to change it. And I think that's what we talk about a lot in our podcast is there's so many girls. Listen, we don't think it's the healthy advice to teach you how to trap a fuck boy. But if you want to do it, we're giving you the advice of how to do it. The blueprint to trapping one. Yeah, that is a sick and manipulative and it's beautiful. And it's not necessarily healthy, like Alex said, but everyone loves to chase everyone likes it we have this motto where it's every man is a fuck boy until he proves otherwise so the girls going in the girls going in being like oh I can change him no no you're already doing it wrong sweetie well that's what I I would I

totally agree with you and I never said it like this, but I've like, yeah, every guy is, yeah, I guess the fuck boy until he meets the one that makes him not want to be the fuck boy. Absolutely. And it's just, it's just luck or like kismet happening. Yeah. And maybe, yes, maybe once in a while some girl can like grind him down and whisper the fuck boy and make him the one. But generally speaking, I mean, sometimes I will wonder, am I the fuck boy and make him the one. But generally speaking,

I mean, sometimes I will wonder, am I a fuck boy? Right. Yeah. In a sense that you are, just kidding. You are, you're the biggest fuck boy in bachelor nation. Well, no, like in my dating life, I I'm older. And so I like when I was younger, I would meet a girl and if we hit it off and like went on a few dates and I was like, I don't know, I'm really, oh, I'm catching feelings. This is great. I'm like, I think, I feel like we should date. I don't know. Like, do you want to, you know, I'm in the relationship and now I've had a handful of serious relationships, you know, breaks up.

I've broken up with some, some, and at this point, you know, it's a little bit more pragmatic and more practical, maybe even cynical where unless I'm like, this is my person or really see a chance, like I'm not going to like get into a relationship. And usually I will go on dates though. And I'll keep dating. And if there's physical chemistry, absolutely. Hey, you know, and then when, and if a girl's like and i'm pretty up front about like i don't like i yeah not looking for anything i don't i don't say that because i am i very much would like to meet someone but i just don't uh i i do not exaggerate ever my feelings especially like say we hook up in the earlier in the dating process i I'm like, you know. Yeah. I think. And so like, does that make me a fuck boy? No. Just because you're being honest. No, you're not. Even if

you're having a lot of sex, you're saying that you're not leading them on in any way. You're not being like this to me could be it for me. Like I really am feeling this for us. No, you're just being honest. You're dating and you're being open. What about guys honest with the girl? It's like, hey, listen, let's say, you know, I'm older, you're younger. Like, you know, you're not, let's be honest, you're not looking to have kids anytime soon. And when I meet the person I want to be with, like, I would like to like have kids be somewhere in the like. Next five years. Ballpark.

Yeah. As opposed to like, listen, buddy, I'm not having kids for 10 years. Great. No problem. Yeah. And so that's kind of like, I was sometimes I've had said that before. And so then you keep hanging out, you know, but you're like, Hey, listen, if you want to keep hanging out, I think you're great. Yeah. And what if I, or a guy gets the impression, she says she's cool with this okay but I I actually I think she's catching feelings and I think she thinks that what a lot of I've learned women out there are I'll he'll he'll eventually change his mind he'll change his mind yeah see that's like

Rebecca's fault down the street that's her fault that's her because you're. That's her fault. That's her fault. Because you're so- Totally her fault? That's her fault. What if the guy senses? No, you've been honest with her and that's her fault. She's catching feelings. That's what we try to explain to girls. It's like, there's a difference. That's why so many girls are using the term,

the loosely using fuck boy too much. It's like, you're not a fuck boy. You're being open and honest and you may enjoy having sex with her. But if she's going to start catching feelings, you've made it clear that you're not interested in going there girls will be like i mean a guy just won't be into a girl and they're automatically a fuck boy no no that's not what no i do i i noticed that right sometimes he doesn't like me fuck boy no someone that uses

manipulation tactics to finesse getting and having sex and they lie to your face essentially they're like i really really like you and then you don't hear from them for four days. All right. Well, let's get into what a fuck boy is. Let's identify these fuck boys so we can have our audience try to steer clear. And then if you do want to, but we're gonna take a quick break. We're going to sell some stuff and then we'll be right back. Okay. My audience knows Natural Habits is my essential oil company. We are a certified USDA organic essential oil company that specializes in blends. You two, you've used a little bit of essential oils. You don't. I asked you guys, if you guys use candles, you're like, yeah, this is a great. Of course. Did you know

that candles are a slow death? Can you explain that to me? I'm a little scared. Well, what do you think goes into candles? I don't know. Wax? Wax. Your wax. Well, candles are full of like chemicals, like paraffin.

And then they put like alcohol and perfumes to make them smell good and burn longer and last longer. And then you're setting it on fire. Okay. And then you're breathing that into the air. In hindsight, I could see. I once fell asleep in college with three candles burning. And then I woke up, thank God, not to mention the fire hazard that is. You're alive. We're good. We're good. But I'm here. But I did wake up. I went into the bathroom

and I had black soot in my face all the way up to my nose because it was right next to my face. But that ultimately is what candles are. Have you ever heard of canary in a coal mine? No. Back in the day, coal miners would take canaries in little cages because canaries' respiratory systems are so sensitive. And so if the canary would die in the coal mine, the miners would know it's time to get out.

Oh, okay. And so if the canary would die in the coal mine, the miners would know it's time to get out. Oh, okay. Unfortunately, the bird would be the sacrificial lamb. No pun intended. Oh my God. And canaries and birds have similar adverse reactions to candles. Wow. Wow.

So next time you're burning a candle, just remember. I'm about to throw. You are breathing toxic chemicals into your lungs. Yeah. Wow. And slowly killing yourself. Essential oils, however, you can diffuse toxic chemicals into your lungs and slowly killing yourself. Essential oils, however, you can diffuse them in a diffuser. They actually have health benefits to birds and humans. And so instead of not dying, not letting your place on fire, you can do things like relieve your anxiety, reduce your headaches, have immunity boosts. So I'm going to set you guys up.

That's actually speaking to me right guys up. I love that. And when you want to set the mood and have some sex, you can either for once in a while, light the candles just for the mood or, or you can buy those. Now you can, you can basically get, it's 2019 candles that look pretty fucking real and they're fake and then you get this thing going. Okay. I love it. I love it. I'm sold. Go to nhoyals.com. Follow us on Natural Habits on Instagram. 30% off your order.

We do offer free domestic shipping. Should we use code daddy? Code daddy. D-A-D-D-Y. Code daddy for 30% off your order. Check us out at nhoyals.com. Don't kill the birds. Don't kill them. Don't kill the

canaries. Or set your place on fire. We are now selling diffuser oils with our roll-on blends. Rise, protect, send, and release. Helping with anxiety, sleep, immunity boost, headaches, and a boost of energy. Alright, back to fuckboys. Fuckboys.

So what is a fuckboy? Okay. And how can we identify one? There's multiple signs of a fuckboy? Okay. And how can we identify one? There's multiple signs of a fuckboy. Multiple signs. Multiple signs. Sign one. He wears shoes, a shirt, and pants. So he's a fuckboy.

Fuckboy. All of them. All of them. Have either of you been fuckboyed? Oh, yeah. For sure. For sure. I did college when I was like young and naive.

I really was obsessed with all of them. I wanted them all. Did you have and they didn't want me. Did you guys have a fuckboy revelation where you're like, no more? Oh, yeah. I think it was like a fuckboy awakening. I think I had a revelation with this podcast and we had to really sit here and dissect it. And I'm like, shit, I really have dealt with a fuckboy. I've been fuckboyed. All right. Yeah.

Step one, he has a dick. Okay. He has a dick. Okay. So basically. Sign number one, might be a fuckboy.

Very good chance. It's a strong possibility. So we always talk about a fuckboy, like we had just said, he uses manipulation tactics to finesse having sex with you.

So what he's going to do is inconsistent communication is such a strong one for a fuck boy so one minute it's like he's blowing up your phone on monday he's bored he's horny he wants you to come over and then friday rolls around and you're like oh my god like david and i are like kind of hitting it off like we had sex this week like loving him and then on friday he goes cold you don't hear from him and he's out with the boys and he doesn't answer anything. He's posting on his snap story, et cetera. That's a huge one. Now question though, in this relationship that's going on, you're describing, has there

ever, has there been any DTRing? Down to what? Defining the relationship? No, no. It's been, um, I would say it can either be that he said that he's not looking for anything serious or even if he's leading you on. It's just- So let's say you go on a date. Okay.

Let's say the first date, you guys keep it in your pants. Okay. But the second date, you know what? Fuck it. We're fucking. It happened. We had a great time. Had a few drinks. Nothing's talked about. We're both adults. We don't need to make this weird, but like, I guess we should hang out again. So you haven't talked about it, but then inconsistency happens. Is he a fuck boy or just a sign? No, no, that's, I think that is him. Um, like, owing you nothing. You have to recognize that too. It's like you went on two dates. Like I know

girls are naturally way more emotional when it comes to life and then sex, it's even worse. So when you have sex with a guy, girls naturally like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I love you. And they start to get emotional with it. And that's girls fault when it's like, okay, you had sex with him, but he did not. He doesn't owe you anything after that. anything else i think the fuck boy really comes into play is when he's telling you things to make you think that he really really likes you for something more than sex yeah that's when he becomes a fuck boy yeah if it's the early stages and you guys are just fucking around he's not a fuck boy no okay all right so kind of he is because they're always a fuck because they're

wearing pants and shirt they have a penis well you say, you say, you say the inconspicuous communication and I'm like, yeah, hello. I've done that. Yeah. But, but you are not, but not deliberately. It's more like, right. This is when guys are saying like, oh my gosh, like I'm so into you. Like this is going so well. It's when you're leading her on and then you disappear and it's like, well, what the hell? And then she, he's with Stacy and it's like, she, Rebecca's crying at home and he sees her out at the, or he's at the bar. So it's like, it's when he's leading you on. I totally agree with that.

I'm very like, and again, like I'm, I'm, I, I definitely want to meet someone, but if I see someone, I just enjoy their company and I'm not sure what I, I'm more on the opposite. I will, uh, even sometimes I will wonder if I'm catching feelings for a company and I'm not sure what I'm more on the opposite. I will, uh, even sometimes I will wonder if I'm catching feelings for a girl and I will hold back because like, I don't, I don't want to lead anyone on, you know? Um, I don't want to get myself into a sit. I also, it's just like, I don't want to, I don't want to be accused of being a fuck boy or like that motherfucker led me on, you know, like, um, him. So when you start to have feelings for a girl, you'll hold back.

Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I will try to figure out where I'm at. And it wasn't always this way. Yeah. But in my life, I am now because quite honestly, I think as I get older, I do get a little more cynical. So like, it's, I think it's harder to fall in love

when you get older. At least it has been for me. Okay. Just because you're, I was more, you know, you're more naive when you're younger like totally the first time you meet someone who has feelings you literally were like oh my god tingling marriage we're married I can't live with I've been literally this is it this is so exciting that's the wedding and then you know you break up yeah you're, you get over that relationship and you're like, oh, well I got over it. And then it happens again. And you're like, okay. And then like

falling for someone and getting over it is this like a part of life. So then when you meet someone older and when you're older and like, you're just like, you're just a little bit more pragmatic. At least I am. I'm just more like, all right, well, let's, let's just see where it goes. Let's go bowling. And I don't. Right. Right. I want to ask you a question. If you go on a date with a girl and you know right off the bat, you really like her,

are you going to be inconsistent with like you're talking to her? I will say... Or from that day, will you make sure that you're talking to her consistently every day? Well, there's two answers to your question. I mean, for me,

and I will generally say like when I get a lot of questions on my questions with Nick is that it's not that hard to figure out whether a guy likes you. And I would say the same thing about women. It's just like, when you're really into someone, busy people make time for the people they want to spend time with at the end of the day. Like, I don't care how busy you are when you're into someone. Oh, everyone's had that texting buddy where you like can knock it off your phone and you're texting 24 seven. So when you're, you know, into someone you, you do again, for me, I'm just, I sometimes like struggle with like, am I really going to do? I should fuck it. Should I just pick somebody? Should I just pick someone to settle down with? No, because then that's so rude to

her. Like, she's just like, all right, fine fine but is it because i feel like there's this theory where men right they'll hit the age and the next girl they date they're like marriage kids let's go i've seen it before i've seen it i definitely have seen it i grew up in milwaukee and like all of a sudden this guy he's in his early 30s he was a total fuck boy this guy he's like, he's hitting the club scene. Dude starts losing his hair. And the girl, he fucked around for like three years and kept breaking up with her. And all of a sudden they're engaged out of nowhere. And I'm like, motherfucker started losing his hair.

Hold on. He's like, I gotta settle down now. Yeah, I mean, I think that definitely happens. I mean, I'm half joking where like, again, I refuse to do that. I won't do that. And I don't want to, because I really like, I'm going to be patient. I'm not. But sometimes I do like, you'll be like, you know, maybe because that I think even when you get older, you still want those, those feelings of the, the excitement, the butterflies. It's like,

and sometimes it's harder to do that. So if to answer your question, if I like a girl, and sometimes it's harder to do that. So if to answer your question, if I like a girl, she'll know. And I also don't like, I don't, I don't honestly give a shit if I,

if I'm texting you back too quickly. If you come off too strong. And somehow that like, fine. I think that's so refreshing. We always tell guys it's so, it is the worst thing for a guy to do. When, if you like,

we're just away for two hours and you just couldn't look at your phone. And then I text him back and then he just happens to take two hours to respond it's like it's too calculated I mean even like when I was messaging you and I was in New York I was like hey I'm in New York if you want to get together great right and then I think maybe like I don't think you were busy but I was like hey no seriously if you want to get together let me know otherwise I'm gonna do this other thing right and if the thought process in that, if she was like, oh, he asked twice. I don't care. But see, that's the issue.

There's a point where it gets weird when he keeps writing back. But like at some point asserting yourself of, I would like to hang out with you. Of course. Yeah. I mean, I just don't have the patience. Right.

I agree. I think that's what we always talk about on our podcast is there are people like you that are saying that you're so upfront. And that's why with a fuck boy, it's again, unhealthy that we tell girls this, but you, if you want to get a guy to basically be obsessed with you, that's a fuck boy. You need to basically mirror and mimic his behavior. So everything girls do to a fuck boy is the complete opposite of what you're supposed to do. They chase them and they're, they show up to the bar that they

know they're going to be at and they're standing there and waiting for them. And they call them out on the shit that they're doing. Number one rule, never. You never call out a fuck boy on his behavior ever. Ever, ever, ever. You never draw attention to what he's doing, which a lot of girls do. They get so upset and it's the worst thing to do.

When you say call out, so on a recent episode, I, my Rochelle, who's not here today, I had this, she, she was dating this guy and she hooked up with him. She's like, I don't know, classic, like they're having sex on a regular basis. And then all of a sudden I know where she was like, do you like me? And he was like, no, I just want to have sex. Okay. And I said to her, and it was not necessarily calling out, but I've, I've given other friends advice, other women advice where not calling them out like fuck boyish, but flip the script where it's just like, just be totally indifferent and say, Hey, listen, buddy, you seem like a nice guy. And I like having sex with you, but I want a relationship. And you just seem like you're just too busy doing your fuck boy things. And that's totally cool.

It's totally cool. But I just don't think you're ready for something like this. Is that like not cool? We usually tell them that we usually tell them there's a line of that can work. However, there are some girls that could say that and they come off so butthurt and it's too transparent. Yes. If you, you have to really like it doesn't even matter like we'll be yeah no you have to well that's the thing you're kind of you have to be like totally

chill indifferent but like listen i'm doing you a favor it's totally fine yeah like we're good and i might i might still be open to having sex with you i haven't decided yet but just so you know right you i'm doing you a favor, buddy. Right. Right. If you can't, if, if it sounds like it's hurting your soul to say that,

it's fine. Like I get it. You want to have sex with other girls. It's fine. It's fine. Like whatever. It doesn't even, I don't even care.

It's like, I really couldn't even care. And you're like kind of tearing up. Like, no, no, no girls. No.

Yeah. I was thinking that, but that's different than not. You don't. So when you say you don't want to calm out on this bullshit you mean like you don't want to get defensive okay so say like this is just a very basic level but if you have sex with him and then an hour later you see on Instagram that he just went and liked seven girls pictures and you're all in your fields because you just thought you had the most emotional great sex you're not gonna like wow like you couldn't even

wait till like next week no or never not in a million years you do not do anything and if anything if you really want to get back and manipulate that behavior maybe i don't know a week from now you follow two of his buddies yep but it can't be it can't be that hour it can't then it's you look but her it has to be very strategic it's a strategic and we know that this sounds immature and unhealthy but it works hold on let's break this down let's break it down it works i totally know this is great so this down. Let's break it down. It works. I totally believe, no, this is great. It's the game.

So, but like, all right, if we're going to try to spin this to a somewhat like healthy behavior. Okay. So what, so the step one, if you can probably would just be, I agree. Don't, definitely don't call them out. No, no, no. It's literally mimicking their behavior. So, so maybe just don't have sex with them again.

No. Cut your losses. No cut your losses no no you do see this is what you could do but this is only if you really want to but what if they are enjoying the sex these are the girls trying to trap so if you're enjoying the sex then I think you have to decide what it is you want

because I do think a lot of people will lie to themselves about what they want out of a relationship. Girls do that all the time. So do men though too. Men do it too. They get feelings too. It may be more women than men that get emotional

but when a man is like When he comes across the voodoo clam and he's like oh my god that was the best sex I love. What's the voodoo clam? The voodoo clam is when you have a guy keying your car, lighting your lawn on fire, calling your mom, being like, I can't get over this pussy. You said clam? Voodoo clam.

It's when you have like that bomb pussy where like, holy shit, the guy's in love. He goes batshit insane over your pussy. That's what I'm saying. When a guy is like tunnel vision on a girl, he is more insane than any woman has ever been ever. Yes. So true, Nick. Totally.

This is so good right now. No, it's so true. They actually lose their mind. Totally lose their mind. Oh my God. Girls are, you know, a little bit always on that path. Always crazy. Yeah, they're like kind of always on the spectrum,

but it's never really that bad. Right. Men lose it. It's great. When the on the spectrum, but it's never really that bad. Right. Absolutely. It's great. When the guys are there, you're like, whoa, buddy. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like relaxed. I'm sure it's great. Yeah. They're like, chill. Yeah. Chill.

Yeah. All right. So yeah, I think you need to come. So you want, you want her to follow? This is the thing. I think what I'm just saying

is like you, we said every girl out there has encountered, it's like the weirdest moment in your life when you encounter your first fuck boy. Every girl knows that moment where you're like, oh my God, I love this guy. And then he lets you down. And it's kind of easy to like know when you see a fuck boy

and when you're interacting with one. But we're just saying, I've been that girl where I'm like, but I want him. And my friend's like, he's a douche. Don't do that. But you want him. So friend's like he's a douche don't do that but you want him so what we do in our podcast is we're just giving you

the exact step by step of how to make him be a little obsessed with you so you follow his friend yeah follow his friends or just other yeah you could follow

one of his boys and then when he calls you out what do you do you're like relax anytime a fuckboy calls you out you never address the issue

nope you never answer the question. You're going to deflect. You're going to say, always, babe, babe, stop. Why are you getting so emotional over there? I mean, that would totally work. Are you heated right now? All right, let's go get Chipotle.

He's like, what the fuck? Is she fucking him? You're totally right. They get, if you do not answer. It's a mind fuck. Because tell me this isn't true. No guy wants to think, even if he knows it's happening, no guy wants to think even if he knows it's happening no guy wants

to hear or think about their girl fucking another guy ever they don't want to talk about it think about it some guys are in some weird shit of course cuckolding but they don't want to we can talk about that too cuckolding um i was the i feel like i need to ask you about these uh nick's like let's stay flack don't want to talk about cuckolding. That's fine. Stay focused, but we'll get to it. No, but it's a tricky situation. I think another huge one is the inconsistent texting. So if you're dealing with a fuck boy

and he's not responding to you for a couple of days, women need to do the same where they then disappear for a couple of days. Disappear is one of our biggest things for women. Turn on your goddamn red receipts, ladies, and disappear. Disappear for a couple of days. I love that you said that because I feel like a lot of people don't have their read receipts on. I tell you what, read receipts is a power move. I read your text and I'm not responding. It's a power move. And I want to tell every girl out there when I was younger, I would always hit

them with the K because there's something in you. It's like, shit, I just want to send it. Don't ever care. There is nothing more powerful than just silence. The K is like so butthurt. I always say the opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. Okay. I like that. When someone's like, I hate you. I'm just like, you still love me. Oh my God.

I'm so sorry. I love you too. I love you. You care enough to call me out. Right. Right. But when someone like, if you were to run into your ex that cheated on you or whatever, and now they're dating someone else and you run into them and you walk up to them and

you're like, Matt. Oh my God. So good to see you. Yeah. I heard you're dating someone else you run into them and you walk up to them and you're like Matt oh my god so good to see you yeah I heard you're dating Carol yeah how how how is everything how you guys doing and if she's there introduce yourself is she here oh how are you and you're just like she she's the girl from high school oh my god that you like you ran into and you're just being nice that if you can do that you will will fuck with that. Oh my God. I ran into my ex fiance who cheated on me and she, well, I mean it was her bachelorette party and she decided to show up to the bar. I went every Saturday at the time. It was her bachelorette party. She's getting married. This was years ago. She showed up to your bar. My bar, my bar, my bar, my girlfriend at the time. And how dare she? No, I was fine.

You don't own the bar, do you? No. It's your, okay, okay. It's not even open. It was 10 years ago. Okay. And I just remember that I was just like, I had this, I was like prepared.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, congratulations. Like, are you excited? Are you excited? Like how, like so this is in a couple of weeks. She just starts bawling. Oh my God. And she's about to get married.

About to get married. And I was just like, there was. You're like, that seems like a personal issue. I was like, oh no, it's going to be fine. Good luck with that marriage. No, I wasn't even like that. I was like, no, it's going to be fine. You're going to be so happy.

It was such a big win. It was such a big win. That's really good. But it wasn't because I think what happened, first of all, alcohol. Yep. Second of all, for whatever reason, she decided to show up just one more.

Love that. And instead of me like audibly losing my shit and like having that nervous energy, I just threw her for a loop. Like it came out, I flipped a script, changed the playbook and it just. No, it messed up. Oh yeah.

So to do that, you're just like. Yeah. I mean, the letter K is the most butt hurt thing you can do. change the playbook and it just no it messed up so much so to do that you're just like yeah i mean the letter the letter k is the most butthurt oh my god you can do okay okay honestly whatever no don't even care like you're bawling your eyes out bitch like shut up but that read receipt like it is so beautiful i read your message and i'm not answering and i'll get back to you yeah and that's the thing the rhetoric allows people to think they're you're sitting there like okay so are they ignoring and not answering or they are eventually going to answer. And that's beautiful girls. And if they call you out on leaving them on red,

you answer like three hours later and you're like, Oh, relax. I was busy. Like what's up? And never, never play into when they start freaking out. That's when you know, you've got them. Yeah. Now you've got the voodoo clam. You've got the voodoo clam girls at that point. Now, when you have the fuck boy whispered, then what do you do? In the sense that you're, now you're still dealing with a fuck boy. Right. You've whispered into, they're on edge. They're just making sure. Yeah.

Because here's the, I think the risk of that is it's a power dynamic, right? Fuck boy has the power in this relationship. He's this perceived power. You have whispered the fuck out of you, read, receipt them. You, you don't care. All of a sudden he's like, I don't know what's going on. I'm like, I don't want to date her, but like, if I might have to ask her to marry me just to get the power back. I kind of love this bitch, but what the fuck? And so now, now he will do whatever to get the power back. And then once, I think what the risk I think you get into

is because ultimately you did this because you want to be with this fuck boy. And it's so easy, I think, to lose that power again. And then you're still stuck with the fuck boy who deep down just wants to have sex with you. I think that, I know it's kind of backwards, but I do think that the longer you play the game and flip the script

and kind of mirror his actions, there's a lot of situations that at least I've come across where I do this to a guy and then if you're, you know, taking the sexual tips that we give our girls

on our podcast, if everything kind of comes together for a guy almost and he's like, okay, wait, I love this bitch. I a guy almost. And he's like, okay, wait, I love this bitch. I think I know what you're saying.

Sometimes you can get into this. Why trap? Right. You're asking a sense. Sure. Well, here I will. Here's what I'll say.

I agree with you is that like when I'm dating, you're sometimes you're looking for that intangible. Right. Right. And just like, there's a lot of basic men out there for women. We're a dime a dozen. Right.

I'm sure most time we're all doing the same shit. And like, there's five different guys you've been on dates with. And it's like, this is this guy, this is that guy, whatever. And so guys the same way. It's just like, it's yeah, they're all great. You're all beautiful. But it's like, you're just, guys are just looking for that, whatever. She can hang with me.

And for me, I do like a girl, a woman who like keeps me on my I'm a guys love the crazy I'm a little bit of a you know I can be sarcastic and quick-witted sometimes a snarky little dick you know and so when I get all of a sudden like clap back and I'm like honestly I don't know what to say right now and I love you and I love you so holy shit wow so there's definitely a little bit of that like you know you're you're you're you're trying to and it's not that I'm being a fuck boy. I just don't know how I feel about you. And so to get a little bit of that, where it's this consistent, like, yeah, you're great and all, and I'm into you, but like, whatever I can do without you. And I'm like, Oh my God,

I'm going to buy the ring. Hold on. So I think earlier in dating, there's that healthy amount of like showing you're there, each other's equals. Right. think earlier in dating, there's that healthy amount of like showing you're each other's equals. Absolutely. Because again, it's all about power and not having it. So like,

I think a relationship, no relationship's going to work if one person has all the power and the other person is just like, love me. I think there's some relationships that work like that

where one person- You think so? I think there are some times. I could never be in one like that. Do you think that's a personality thing? Maybe, yeah. I think relationships like that exist and work for some people yeah but i think when you're trapping a fuck boy there's a lot of the power going back and forth between the both of you because everyone loves the chase at some point in their life like it's so addicting and at the end

of the day i think even when you're married like you've got to keep people on your toes naturally as humans, like we want what we can't have. And so there's a line that you have to find between like making it fun, but also not making it like, this is actually so unhealthy. This is annoying.

Right. I would agree. Right. There's like, you get a lot of like, it's, you know, none of us are married,

but like the complacency that can happen in any long-term relationship. And I think to a certain degree, there always should probably maybe be that like power shift from time to timeterm relationship. And I think to a certain degree, there always should probably maybe be that like power shift from time to time. Sometimes you just feel a little bit like,

I'm going to step up my game. But then it like kind of tweaks a little bit. We were talking about, so for a fuck boy, a lot of times, and listen girls, like I get this again, does not sound healthy, but a lot of times if you're having just a sexual relationship with a guy that's a fuck boy, girls have a tendency if they have sex with the guy and the morning comes sometimes they get a

little in their feels and they're like what are we doing for breakfast and you're hanging out and it's like oh no no no no girls don't let i want to try to explain to girls what the post-nut clarity is and okay yeah and a lot of girls don't have Pay attention. Yeah. Pay attention. And a lot of girls don't know what this is. This is so real. This is so real. So many women don't know. A lot of times,

girls, you're laying there after sex and you're like, wait, why did he just go into the bathroom and lock the door? Did I do something wrong? Or you try to cuddle him and he kind of turns over

and he's like by himself and you're like, what the hell? Why is he being so cold towards me? The post-nut clarity. Sophia, do you want to talk about it?

It is this moment of clarity that a man has where he has 20 cold towards me. The post-nat clarity. Sophia, do you want to talk about it? It is this moment of clarity that a man has where he has 20-20 vision. After he just came. After he just ejaculated. Wherever you wanted him to. Maybe on this poor girl, maybe not. Maybe it is inside on your forehead. I'm kind of like a child on my podcast.

No, I'll be talking about sex and then like, and we, you know, sometimes we, good stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he finishes. He finishes and he has this

crystal clear vision of what just went down. I've heard some men can see into the future. I've heard a bunch of- No, what it is, is like, the first thing is like,

see into the future. I've heard that. The first reaction is like, what did i just do i just did some crazy shit right right it's like how okay girls it's to try to give you like a comparison it's how you kind of feel after you if you just masturbate and you watch porn there's a part of where you feel like super great but you're also like oh my god like i kind of feel dirty and it's very different for men. And men just need to be alone in this moment for a minute.

Here's the thing. If I sum magic while having sex, right before he's about to- End it all. End it all. Finish it up. What? If you could in that moment,

and I'm talking, there's like a 15 second window, not the buildup to like almost climax, but there's that 15 second window where he knows it's about to happen before it finishes. He will literally agree to anything. Oh my God. If you had your lawyers there to sign something, you want to marry me? Let's go. He will, he is down for literally anything, anything. And so sometimes in those 15 seconds when you're like talking or saying some dirty shit you love me and then you finish it and all of a sudden he's like holy shit yeah oh my god what did i just do with this poor girl holy shit i take it all back yeah so i think girls just know that it's nothing that you did

right or wrong it's like they just need that moment. Guys need a second. And there are a lot of things are going through their head. Yeah. And girls get emotional and they're like, why is he not cuddling me? So that's the first thing. But when you are having sex with a fuck boy, again, this is a tactic that I think works. After you have sex with him, don't always stay the night.

Girls get too comfortable and stay the night no girls get too comfortable and stay the night this is the best thing is you get up immediately you grab his face you kiss him on the cheek and you're like i'll text you when i get home and then you never text him when he gets home and i promise you he'll text you like did you get home okay you don't want to get 100 you don't want to get too comfortable doing that or else then you're going to just start feeling like a hooker yes yes yes yes you gotta grab your stuff and run every single time, you got to switch it up. More women are getting,

are doing that. I will. I will say, Hey, that happens to me a lot. Actually. No, I mean like,

it's more like, well, it's like, well, do you want me to kind of thing? Oh, girls, if you're doing that,

if you're asking the question, get out of it, get up and get out. But I, but I don't mean like, but I, it does work. Right. If, if a, if you're asking the question, get out of it. Get up and get out. But I don't mean like, but it does work, right? If a girl were to like, no, I can't stay over. I have shit to do. Guys will immediately be like, well, I mean, you can.

Right. No, no, no. Yeah. I'll see you. Like, I'll text you later. And then you don't text them later. It will definitely. Yeah.

And because guys naturally are, obviously their ego, it's like, well, wait, like, was the dick not good? Like, wait, what did I do something wrong? And then you're also like, I kind of feel a little used. That's what my guy friend is like. Sometimes when girls do that, I'm like, I feel a little huge. Like, wait a second. And that kind of is a great feeling for us. Yeah. Because it's funny. I do my questions with Nick. I get 30% of the question is, does, Y, Z happened. What was I used? I feel used or used. I, it's so fascinating that women will use that phrase a lot to like, he used

me just for sex. The stereotype is, you know, men are more sexually open. So like, right. They don't understand the concept of being used but if if the power shifted where she's just like oh man like thank you for yeah yeah thank you so much high five let's go thanks for sharing that um talk to you soon i want to try throwing like a hundred dollar bill on a guy oh my god how is that that's a little cold nick is so confused that's cold throw a hundred like thanks for that see you next time excuse me you know what you do if you have a second date and you're

just like you go you go get ice cream or coffee or even dinner yeah you're just like listen you were great last time I got this I got this I got this one he's like excuse me way to step up his penis shrivels up

and I expect the same performer yeah this i got this one he's like excuse me way to step up his penis shrivels up he's like what and i expect the same performer yeah a guy's gonna be like what that would be amazing yeah you will yes i listen i i appreciate you you guys being so honest because like i totally agree with you in general if you feel like you are are not in control you have to manipulate too much yeah that's not healthy but the truth is when it comes to, I do hate it when people say, I hate playing the game. Everyone fucking plays it to a certain degree. Even if you don't want to, like you're always, when you don't know someone, when you're starting off and you're dating someone, you don't know them. So you're trying to feel it out. And that in itself is the game. I always say, and I know it sounds messed up,

but I always say there are two people in this world. Those who get finessed or those who finesse. And when you're starting to date, you kind of got to play the game because if you're not going to play it, then they're going to play it and you're going to be on bottom. And you find someone that you can gang with. And that like you both,

you both kind of get each other. And there's a little bit of, yes, because if you are just, just waiting for him to love you. And when guys are waiting, there's, I mean, nothing I'm assuming, correct me if I'm wrong, will turn off a woman more than a guy who's just, love me.

Oh my God. Yeah, and I'm going to get really deep here. Please, please, are you okay? Are you okay? Please get out of my face. Oh my God. Can we hang out, please? Like, bye.

Do you want to cuddle, please? Oh God. And then you get in bed and he wants to be little spoon and you're big spoon you're like what is this shit i don't mind a little spoon ever ever no no that's fine but like when he's trying to act all tough on the first couple dates and then you get in bed and he's trying to be little spoon you're like what the fuck is this yeah what is going on sometimes my little spoon is like all right it's selfish because it's like i know i want to sleep comfortably. I feel that.

I feel that. The sleeping position. Sometimes I leg spoon. Oh, I like that. We're just like, I'm going to, you're going to go on your side. Yeah, because it's uncomfortable to always be But I want to let you know that I'm glad you're here. Yeah. And I just kind of do this little foot on foot. I call it foot on

foot action. Little foot on foot. I like that. Or like sometimes I'll like, I'll kind of like Little foot on foot. I like that. Or like sometimes I'll like, I'll kind of like, I'll lean over. I like the arm and kind of like the small, the back, maybe a little,

a little butt grab. Yeah. So any type of like touch when you're like in bed. It's like personal space, but like, you know, or like the middle of the night, the middle of the night,

wake up. And it's just like that moment of like, I'm glad you're here, babe. And you just kind of like, you of the night. The middle of the night, wake up. And it's just like that moment of like, I'm glad you're here, babe. Yeah. And you just kind of like, you're not aggressive. You're not trying to have sex again. Yeah. But it's just.

That's the best. Hey, what's up? I'm here. God, you're sexy. I'm going to go back to bed. Okay, good night. Were you about to get emotional for a second? No, no, no.

I was going to say, there are people that are like, I'm not playing the game, which I have said that before. And I subconsciously am playing the game. Yeah. You know, I don't even realize I'm doing it. And I think I'm being authentic. But I'm like, why did I decide to wait two days to answer him?

Yeah. You know what I mean? By not playing the game, you have a game. The moment you say, I'm not playing the game, you are in the game you are in fact yeah because you're recognizing there's a game because you realize there's a game going on yeah there's a lot of people that don't even realize they're doing it and they just do it it's also like okay like that's it's called dating it is it's uh yeah it's uh it's just things we do we're like we're all creatures who just like are trying to, it's all power dynamic and we're just trying to find our match and we all, we're all men and women are definitely

suckers for the things that we can't have. And I always say like, you know, when it comes to dating, it's hard. People, why am I always into the guy who's not into me and vice versa? Right. Everyone says that because like you like the game, it's not even a game. versa. Right. Everyone says that. Yeah. Because like. You like the game. It's not even the game. It's just more like we're always going to seek out. Of course. The things that we are attracted to.

And that shouldn't be just by default. Shouldn't be that easy. Right. Yeah. No. If you walk in and you feel like I can have my pick of the litter, you immediately don't want it. It doesn't work.

Right. Like. Absolutely.'t work, right? Absolutely. I mean, there are so many people that get in relationships that's like easy and then you go out that night and there's the guy you can't get and you're like, oh my God, the chase is fun. You can't have something you want it more.

And if someone's so available, so open all the time, it's like, well, this isn't that fun. I can have you whenever I want. And also there's a difference between like easy in a relationship and like, again, the excitement and banter back and forth. Like if easy could, like if he, listen, at the end of the day, if you're really trying to trap a fuck boy and the end of the day,

he just doesn't respect you. Like you shouldn't be, you're not going to be happy. You're going to always feel like I'm never, like I had the power for the day and fuck I lost it again. Like I can't, I can't whisper this fuck boy lost it again like i i can't i can't whisper this fuck boy i cannot whisper this can't he's unwisperable oh my god um but most are whisperable i have a really random question that just popped into my head i don't want to forget it about the bachelor um i wanted to ask you because i personally think it's so fascinating that this

show is still going i watch it i think it's great it's great entertainment um but i do think it's so fascinating that this show is still going. I watch it. I think it's great. It's great entertainment. But I do think it's kind of bizarre that they haven't adjusted the show at all. In what way? To be able to have your phones. Because here's my theory. I know it won't work. But what I'm saying is, do you think there's any way that things or relationships aren't working afterwards?

Because you get out. What if they're a bad texter? What if you hate the way they sext you? I don't get that texting. No, what if they're spelling there, there, there wrong every single time? Have you read my question? You haven't read my question.

But do you know what I mean a little bit? In the dating game? Like you're not in the real world almost. Fine. True. I mean, okay, I'll answer. Do you know what I mean? I have questions.

Okay. I'll answer your question. I have questions about the bed. I'm not a good speller. I'm just not. Okay, that's fine. I know grammar. I do.

I know yours. I know how to do it. I know like when you should say like well versus good. I know this. Okay. But I'm also, when I text, my brain is going faster than my thumbs can work. And I just don't like, I'm like driving and I shouldn't even be texting.

And I don't have the patience to often proofread a casual conversation to like a friend. Yeah. So my texts are scary. A little scary. If you're judging my brain capacity on my text messages. Someone would think you're illiterate. 100%. Is it that bad? Good to know.

Good to know. Wow, Nick. I think you need to work on it. Let's clean it up. Because it is important. Okay. But do you know what I mean? It's a little unrealistic.

I love it. Because it's like you're in this bubble. But the minute you get out, you got to start texting and FaceTiming. And then it's like then you're in the real world texting people. And it's like, how does that work? Well, here to answer your question, I don't think the show is overly concerned with giving you the most accurate portrayal

of how someone might be in the real world. Right, right. Okay. I think sometimes the show gets unfair criticism. Listen, most relationships in the world don't work out. Of course. Yeah, right. So when people are like, oh, most relationships in Bachelor don don't work out. Of course. Yeah. So when people are like, Oh, most relationships in the bachelor world don't work out. Neither does yours, Becky. A lot of them have worked out. I think social media actually makes it easier

because there's more an incentive for people to stay together. Right. Monetarily. Okay. So I think that keeps people like fighting the good fight. Like I wish you really. Oh, come on. These brand deals are coming. No, we are in love. I really hate your face. But like maybe we should give another six months. Come on. Tummy tea is coming at us. So there's a little bit of that.

And I do think the charm of the show also too is that it's very much a like 1950s. Yeah, it's old fashioned. Replication of what dating used to be where people would date. Like women would go on a lot of dates with men at an early age. They wouldn't have, it would be literally just having conversation. It would be far less physical. And then she'd just pick a guy. Wait, so can you not look at these girls' social medias at all? Like when you get on the show, you can't see their social media at all. I will say when I was a bachelor, there were times where I tried,

there were a couple of women where I was like, I wonder what her Instagram looks like. Yeah. And I don't mean like in a good way. I mean like- Okay, like what is this thought up to? Wait, that's so interesting to meet someone. I bet this influencer person, I bet.

Yeah. Like they're at 50K, they're ready to get to 200 after the show. Like what's going on? Why are you here? Yeah. A little bit of that, sure. Like, what's going on? Why are you here? Yeah. A little bit of that, sure. Well, I definitely think it can be also concerning

when you are The Bachelor. I know Colton had issues with it where it was like, it is kind of scary as it's getting more into like social media and everything that everyone after The Bachelor, you're getting your brand deals, you're getting followers. There's a playbook now. So, yeah. So, it's kind of hard to be like, oh my God,

is this person here to get famous or for love? So, I guess, I mean, I guess that's also playbook now. So, yeah. So, it's kind of hard to be like, oh, my God, is this person here to get famous or for love? So, I guess, I mean, I guess that's also in life too. I think four years ago, more people were there for the experience, even though the are you here to be famous was often thrown around. Of course. And now I think it's a little bit more of a fair criticism because there is a legit playbook. Absolutely. But whatever. I mean, at the end of the day, people who,

and I even joke about people stay together longer, but if it doesn't work out, you break up. And that's just life. It's not just The Bachelor. Do you think that your dating life- Yeah, I'm sure you get that question all the time, but has your dating life changed from being- Also just because of how many times you obviously went on,

like, do you think girls judge you more because it's like well why doesn't why didn't anything work out you know i mean i think it happens sure i'm like self-conscious about that okay uh yeah i mean i i've talked about in other shows i mean like it's there's a lot of information out there about me. Oh yeah. Regardless if it's real or perceived. Right. And so I just, it will change that dynamic because I have, I'm on guard of what they know or don't know or what they might think. If I go out with, I hate to say the word normal, but a normal girl who's good enough to like never bring it up like it's weird do you know sometimes i don't know sometimes they really don't know i don't like to be lied to if you know don't fucking lie we always talk about that don't lie because even if it comes out it comes out and now now as small as it is even though i even though I know why you did it because you're trying to be on my level, you already lied to me.

Right. And it's just fucking weird from that point on. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too. And eventually you can be like, all right, I got a few questions. Right. Great. And that can make it more difficult for sure. Is it annoying if a girl asks you about it on a date?

No, because it's a part of my life. Of course. Is it annoying if a girl asks you about it on a date? No, because it's a part of my life. Of course. And so if I actually am interested in someone, it always comes down to, do I think she's trying to get to know me or do I think she's trying to get an inside scoop

about the show? Is she asking me about the show because she's always watching a show and she wants to know, is it real? Oh God. Tell me everything. I have to ask you, Nick. Why don't you guys eat the food? I't get it oh yeah so if i feel like

she's trying to get to know me as the person and just try to understand like my experience just like if you know i don't know anything about you but if you're like i did this in college and i'm like oh what was that like you know of course i've never done that before explain that to me oh that's an interesting story i have more questions like then it's totally totally. I think that's a really good point that you just said that it is kind of shitty when they do lie because Sophia and I, a lot of people ask us, what the hell is it like dating with your new podcast? You guys are so open about your lives. I think the podcast could maybe arguably be more open just because of the stuff we talk about. It should be more open? No, our show. No, I'm saying our show, maybe we are more open and people can know more about us than

even just seeing you on The Bachelor. Well, I have, I'm curious about that. I will say when I started this podcast, I, you know, I knew I wanted to be, I'm kind of, I'm a private person when it comes to my dating life. Like so much, like on my social media, if you like, I play into the, I'm single on my social media. I'm always like, Oh, I'm single. I'm alone. I'm still alone. I'm going to paint today. Um, but, uh, listen, I, I, I, I, I'm actively dating him out there. I'm shooting my shots. I'm, you know, uh, and I have a healthy dating life. I haven't met my person, but when it

comes to my social media, I just don't share it. Right. Because I don't, I also don't want to, I, I want to be respectful of the people I'm going on dates. I don't like some of them might want the attention, but also like they didn't ask for that. So I'm very protective when I started this podcast, I wanted to be as authentic and honest about it, but I also didn't want to become a dating liability. I don't know how you women feel about that because it's like, you know, I don't want to go on a date and think, have her worried about being a topic on my podcast. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, we run into that for sure. If I do tell a story, I will never use names and sometimes change the timing of it. Like, Like, you know, sorry, audience. But like, if I said something happened,

like, you know, a year ago, maybe it happened yesterday. Right. I don't know. Yeah. Usually not. Well, because you have to protect people. That's what we always say.

Like some of the guys we're dating, we always say, you know, we would prefer you don't listen because at the end of the day, it's kind of our work. And it is. That's hard to do. And it's like, it's hard.

It's hard, but it's like going up to someone saying, hey, like that's like it's hard it's hard but that's like going up to someone saying hey don't look behind you i know what does that person do but there are some guys that i respect that are like i respect that that's your job and we i say i'll tell you enough about it and i'm so open about it that they get enough from me because at the end of the day it's almost an unfair advantage when right the amount we divulge about our lives on this show. I mean, I'm dating a guy right now and I asked him to not listen and he has stood by that. And a lot of times people are like, well, how do you know? Do you talk about him? No, but a lot of times, well, here and there actually I do. But people will be like, how do you know that he doesn't listen? And I'm like, oh, the shit that I say on this podcast,

I would see it on his goddamn face. Yeah, it would come out because it's come out before. What about like friends and family of his? They've listened. Sure, right? Like he can listen, but the nonsense like,

hey, have you heard this new podcast, bro? He's told me that he will say, I don't want to hear it please yeah and i believe him and then there are other guys that listen and and they accept it i'm like listen if you're gonna listen it's just a part of my life and you gotta just accept it i mean i've only listened to a couple episodes obviously like what does gluck gluck mean by the way oh so the gluck gluck 9000 is every man's kryptonite yes um it's a double double hand twist. No, it's a blowjob. Oh, it's a blowjob.

It's a blowjob. It's a blowjob. Listen, we always talk about it. I know it's, I think blowjobs are like very obvious. They come off very vulgar, but I think women. A lot of women don't know how to give a blowjob. I think, yeah. And I think a lot of times girls are insecure about things

is a lot of times it's because they're either not good at them or they don't really know how to do something. so i um think on this podcast we're really good about we give girls and when i say detail by detail yeah i mean every step yeah of what how you can give your man the best and i'll be honest it's a it was it was it was a good takeaway i'll be honest i did not know how to give a good blowjob until I met Alex. Until about a year ago. Coach him up, coach. She told me about the gluck gluck and I was like, oh my God.

And it changed the game. It is so crazy to see the amount of girls that are like, my guy has never come from a blowjob or something. And after I did this, he was like, where has this been my whole life? It's just something, ladies. know but we also snatcher right we also are telling soul snatcher I mean it's a good analogy like if you if you meet a girl who who knows who's comfortable with herself and yeah and it it gives you pause because listen ladies a blowjob to a guy is such a different experience than sex and they love them in different ways.

And I think a lot of girls don't pleasure their man enough in like oral sex and guys don't pleasure girls enough in oral sex. But that's the same thing. A lot of guys don't know how to eat a girl out. So we have the cooch gobbler combo that we talk about. The terms we have. The cooch gobbler combo. But a lot of guys just go down there and they're like fishing around and

they don't know what to do. And so we help guys telling them step by step again. It makes sex more fun. It shouldn't be this like awkward. Let's just be a dead fish and enjoy missionary for an hour. I had my, a question on my questions with Nick. I was really proud of, sometimes I come up with a good analogy. This girl asked, my husband doesn't like to go down on me because he's, he didn't say, I don't, my boyfriend, I don't know if it was a married, I don't think it was a married person. Actually, I think this person kind of sounded young. My boyfriend doesn't want to go down on me because he had a bad experience with his first time going down on a girl. Yep. But I always go down on him. And my response was tell him that I go, no,

what did I say? And I think this is true for the guys out there listening. I call them my 10 percenters. Oh, we're trying to get it up. We're going to get it up. And I said, I bet he didn't like his first sip of beer too, but now can't stop talking about his favorite IPA. Just tell him it works the same way. And that is true because especially for younger men out there, my first experience wasn't great because I don't think younger people know how to groom themselves and take care of themselves. And a vagina is confusing. It can be confusing.

And so when you, you know, again, if you were able to get guidance from her, once you find out, like you really enjoy it because you know, again, if you were able to get guidance from her, once you find out, like you really enjoy it because you know that she enjoys it. And there's a, you know, it's. Yeah.

There's something about. It's definitely like, it's like not, listen, I didn't like whiskey once at all. I drank vodka. I like that. I put it, I put like limes in all through my twenties. And then one day I was like, you know what? I really fucking hated whiskey. I hated it. I fucking hated it. And I was like, I literally, I consciously thought

I want to, I want to drink like a man. I want to drink like a man. And so I'm like, nope, I'm going to fucking start sipping it. I'm just going to get used to it. And I'll be honest now. I really enjoy a glass of whiskey. I love it. I really enjoy it. And it literally is the same way. Can you agree? It's how good of a feeling is it? And this is just a part of sex because it's so great when you can please your partner like that. Like when you see a girl getting off because of you,

that's what guys, it's like once you get it, girls, once you get how to give a good blow job, it's an amazing feeling because you're like, that's great that I'm giving. It's kind of a power move too. It is.

Let me ask you this. Another podcast, again, I voiced that I am surprised. And I said this too, is that I don't want to give myself too much credit because I, to me, I say like, I think it's ego in the sense that if I had to choose between never getting off and always her getting off, I'll always choose the latter. And I'll just take care of myself later because my ego wants to be like, we're done. And she's just like, all right, I'm going to go tell all my friends about you. Like my ego wants that. Right. So it's, I don't

want to like say that I'm some overly amazing guy. I'm just, you want a good dick review. We call them GDRs. A good dick review. Cause it's hard to recover from a bad dick review. I want a, I want a GDR. Sure. But I mean, I also want to be a nice guy, but I want to be a GDR. And so I am surprised when I hear stories from my women friends, that it seems like a lot of guys don't do this. And I am surprised by this. Now, why do you think that?

Do you think it's, how can this get better? Do you think women should be more, almost higher expectations in bed? Like if a guy isn't used to, let's say a guy is the, I think I'm the man. I'm not going to ask questions. I'm not going to like,

what do you like? Do you think women should be more, hey buddy, coach them, like be more open and coaching them up and not in a masculine way, but letting them know

what you, first of all you like. Women really need to start speaking up because if you're not, why do you expect them to know what you like, women really need to start speaking up because if you're not why do you expect them to know what you like yeah know what to do we say all the time to be vulgar sorry but guys can literally put their dick in a couch cushion and come girls it takes a lot so much for a girl to come it's kind of true though guys can kind of get off on anything girls it's it takes yeah a grapefruit couch cushion,

a banana peel, whatever you're into. But girls, it's really hard. So to have a guy that is willing to like go there with you and learn, it's great. But girls, you need to know that guys are so scared of looking like they don't know what they're doing. So if you are more like, oh my God, babe, this is going to feel so good if you do this to me,

then he's going to want to do it. It's not like, you're not eating me out, right? So don't ever go down on me again. And if a girl is never speaking up, this guy is going to continue going from girl to girl, just giving her the jackhammer, et cetera. Be the woman that's the change. Be the girl that tells him what to do.

For the rest of the women out here. I think that's great. So what about the girl, the young woman who, maybe it's her, she's in her early twenties. Her first couple of boyfriends were the shitty boyfriends. She's not even like, she doesn't really even know yet what she likes. How do we, you know what I'm saying?

How does, because until she figures out what she likes, she can't coach him up. So many girls sit around waiting for like their Prince Charming and this guy that's going to come around and give them the best orgasm of their life. And it's going to change their vibrators. Ladies, it's like, you need to put like, get in front of a mirror, look at your vagina, feel around, like get some, get a vibrator and have some, and I hate it because I know I, when I was younger, I was like so awkward when people would say that to me.

Girls, how are, how are you going to know what it feels like to come if you don't make yourself do it? Right. How can he do it if you can't even do it? Well, I will say guys figure out pretty early. Absolutely. And girls don't. It's, it's so weird how.

Girls don't even look at their vagina no some girls don't even want to look down there you should celebrate it you should be comfortable with it we sound this we sound so we don't usually have conversations like this on call or daddy no but it's true a lot of girls don't own a vibrator they don't own lube and they don't have like time once a day or a week to just like yeah go down feel what's going on down there and make yourself, oh, you don't need a guy. And then you're going to feel

so much better when you are during sex. He's going to even enjoy more because he's going to know, oh, this girl knows what she wants. She knows where her clit is and what to do with it. Isn't it the biggest turn on

to make the girl, oh, isn't that what turns you on? Like it's really hot when a girl is getting off. Yeah. So girls. Girls. Go buy that vibrator, baby.

And listen, I know, or, you know, that maybe, maybe it's not, I don't know, people will call it vlog or whatever, but like, you got to talk about it and you got to be open. And listen, we're all alive because our parents had sex. You're getting questions about this in your podcast. I get them. I'm like, I get a lot of these questions on my Instagram when I do my questions with Nick. So the people are out there trying to figure it out. And I think we just need to be more open about it. So thanks for being so open. And I love some of these acronyms

you guys have come up with. Cooch Gobbler, Gluck Gluck, GDR. GDR might be my favorite. PNC, Post Nut Clarity. Oh my God. Are you guys up for answering a few fan questions? Of course. Yeah, let's do it.

Question time with Nick. This will be fun. Let's ask Nick your sexy questions. are you guys up for answering a few fan questions? Of course. Yeah, let's do it. This will be fun. Let's ask Nick your sexy questions. I'm Lily. Hi. Hi Lily. I'm Nick. This is Alex and Sophia.

Hi. Hi. Uh, how can we help you, Lily? Okay. So, um,

a few, like, I guess at the start of the semester, I met this guy and And I like thought he was cool. But like, it wasn't anything. It was like a backburner crush. And then, um, like, through Bumble and whatever, we started like actually talking. I was like, Okay, I actually like you like you're really cool. And then, um, was it St. Patrick's Day weekend? He came over Friday and Saturday, like made out and stuff and whatever. And like, I think it was even that Friday, like the first time we hung out one-on-one, he like made it clear he wanted to get physical. And I was like. How did he do that? Yeah.

I was like, you should know. I've never like, no, like I haven i haven't okay you're a virgin okay okay cool at the time yeah okay and he was like that's fine yeah like let's like be on the same page about that so then i thought about it a lot and whatever. And I decided, like, if I did it unceremoniously and, like, with him, like, he's so hot, I want to ride out the fact that he's into me. And, like, if I just did it quick and easy, like, it wouldn't be easier when it matters more. So, like, during that week, we did and whatever, and it was fine. Like, he was really sweet. I'm like, I don't regret it.

It was good. But this might be like my middle school talking, but I don't like feel any closer to him. Sure. Yeah. I don't know. I'm confused. Okay. So just to summarize, your question is you're trying to kind of suss out how you feel about

it and how like your, your feelings of having sex the first time didn't maybe meet your expectations. Yeah. I don't know. Like I, I told myself like, it's not going to be a big deal. It's like, whatever. And then after it happened, I was like, I don't feel any different. Sure. Right. Well, I feel like you guys should take this one. I think that's, um, I've, I'm actually really impressed with what you had said about how you were like, I think it will be great then when it does mean something. When I find someone that it's going to mean something with, it will be more enjoyable because you'll have experienced it and you know what to do almost.

And I think a lot of, I commend you for that because a lot of girls put so much pressure on the first time that they freak out about it. I don't think you should be too hung up on the fact that you aren't feeling something because you didn't go into it like i love this guy and i want something i mean i want to i dare say i think the first time is kind of a letdown for a lot of people you're not alone in that mine was completely a letdown almost 99 it's, it's meant to be a letdown. It really is. So built up. It really is.

It's so built up. So you, I don't think you should feel, I think you're feeling what a lot of girls feel. It's like, wait, why am I not feeling these sparks? Why am I not so excited? It's pretty normal. I had the same thing. Absolutely.

You're one with all of us. And you know, sex doesn't have to equal I am crazy in love about this guy every single time absolutely I totally agree and the only thing I would add putting in perspective too is like I don't know your upbringing but

the first time having sex there's so many variables about like religion or what your parents did and our parents are like kind of afraid that they don't want us to get pregnant or get a. And our parents are like kind of afraid that they don't want us to get pregnant or get a disease early on. So they're kind of scaring us about sex. And then you build it up.

And then not to, I'm not saying sex isn't meaningful or a big deal, but like, it's especially the first time it's probably, you'll look back five or six years from now and just kind of be like, whatever about it. And kind of chuckle most likely. Just know like, we're all kind of with you on that. We're all in the same boat.

For sure. It's a very normal thing you're feeling right now. The very, yeah, it's a very, you're doing just fine. You're doing great.

I wouldn't give him any, if he's hot and you still want to hang out with him, but don't, just because he's your first doesn't make him special. Right,

don't force anything. If you're not into it, on to the next guy. He's just a boy. There'll be many. Not that, just in general. You'll have your options. It's so true. Yeah. You'll find someone eventually that like it probably will feel different. But the first time usually it's like,

oh, that's it? Really? I mean, I think you will have sex down the road where you do get the fireworks and the feeling that you're thinking you would have. For sure. That's true. I mean, even for me, I, when I lost my virginity is with this girl, like I thought, like, I definitely thought I was in love with her and it was very high. It was, you know, I was 17 is very high school-ish. And then after that, and I grew up very Catholic. I had a lot of Catholic guilt about it and how to like process it. And then I didn't have sex. And then I met my first girlfriend, the first girl I fell in love with.

And she was a virgin at the time. Okay. And so like, you know, I was, I was great. Well, you know, I will wait, you know? And so I didn't have sex for a year and a half and we waited and waited, but I almost felt like I lost my virginity twice to your point where it was like, the first time I had sex was this kind of weird experience. I didn't know what to process it and just kind of happen. And then the second time was with someone

I actually, at that time I loved, we had been dating for a year and a half. And then the first time was still weird and awkward. But when we started like having sex on a regular basis, it was a very different experience than the very first time. It changes a lot. So like, keep your head up. It's going to get better. Don't worry about it. We're all in the same boat. Yeah, for sure. Or were, I should say. Yeah i should say yeah all right all right well hopefully that helped yes nice meeting you all right take care well hi amanda how are you hi i'm good how are you i'm good thanks for asking uh this is alex and sophia with me today hi nice to meet you nice to meet you um how can we help you amanda so i'm calling um because i am online dating um i met a guy i want to say it was yeah two weeks ago now so we were skyping or talking on hinge i don't know if you guys are familiar with

that one yeah um and it went really well we were talking talking for a couple of days, went to go on a date. So we went out, it was on a Wednesday, we went bowling. Everything went great. Um, the next day he was texting me like, Oh, I had such a good time with you. Our connection's great. I can't see where things go. This is on a Wednesday. So from Wednesday to Sunday, um, we went on three dates. Texting, everything was great.

He was so excited about it. Then on a Monday morning, he texted me and told me he was too scared today. Our connection scared him, but he sees the future with me and he just needs time by himself. He doesn't know what to do. And so that was on a Monday morning. And then I didn't hear from him until Wednesday again. And then he just said he has to focus on his job right now. So my question is, what the hell? Can I ask you a TMI? But can I ask you if anything like physical happened?

Nothing. Did you guys, no making out, nothing? Nope. No kiss. A kiss, did you say? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, actually.

So I'm sorry to leave that out. Sexual chemistry was off the charts. Like I've never had something like that with somebody before. Okay. So you made out. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Do you want me to be really honest? From a male perspective. Just not that into me? My guess is he's just not that into you um and he's trying to let you off easy easy and nicely and uh while the sexual chemistry feels good for you and not to say it wasn't for him but for whatever reason he doesn't want to hang out again. Right. Um, and I only say that because instead of trying, the problem is, and I say this too, it's like, I'm sure his intentions are to let you off easy,

but I really, sometimes I do hate it when people are like, well, I feel bad. So I just, I want to let them off easy. And actually it's a very selfish thing for people to do. Sometimes is to let people off easy. Don't be a dick, right? Don't be extra mean and don't lean in if you don't have to, but just be as direct and honest as possible. Because in your case, here you are, you had this nice time, you enjoyed it. And instead of just saying, hey, listen, I had a nice time, but like, I just don't see a future.

He's saying like, I really liked you. You're great. He's validating all the things that you thought. Yeah. Meanwhile, he's just like, I'm really busy with work, suggesting that at some point he might not be. At some point he might settle into his job and there's this chance. Meanwhile, you, anyone, anyone in your position might like, well, I had this great time with this guy I had sexual chemistry with and I haven't had it before. It's a very selfish thing sometimes to let people off easily because you, people are going to hear what they want to hear. And I think in this case, he's, he's lying. Um, he's not that busy at work. He, he, busy people make time for, for people they want to make time for. Uh, and

instead of just kind of being nice, I mean, instead of just being direct, he's, he's really, he's being selfish because he can't handle being honest and at the risk of hurting your feelings. I also think there's always a chance. And this is just because sometimes people are scumbags, but I've actually seen a lot of times in these situations, he may have a girlfriend. I was thinking the exact same thing. And a lot of times they'll go on dates. They have hinge profiles and he went to go on a date with you hoping maybe there would be more maybe sex. And since you weren't putting out because you were in it for the right reasons and you're trying to find someone as a partner, he realized it wasn't going to go anywhere. So he's using the work thing as an excuse. Yeah. My red flag went up too. I

automatically thought I think he might may have a girlfriend so much so much yeah so i know it kind of sucks because you did have that connection um but that's one of those things there are so many guys out there girl like yeah well you just rebound right away and just know like you are beautiful and you're gonna be fine yeah like his let him work on his work or whatever he's yeah let him let him go on a better day now you're going to be fine. Yeah. Like his loss. Girl power. Let him work on his work or whatever he's working on. Yeah, let him. Let him know that now you're busy and that's that.

Yes. I can assure you nothing will bother him more than you not giving a shit about, you're like, great. I'm trying not to give a shit.

Right. Get back on hinge and go wild. If you're okay to give a shit, just never let him know. Never, never check in. Turn your red receipts on. And if he texts you, you leave him on red. Sorry, I'm on a date. Talk to you later. Yeah. Do that. Actually do that. Turn your read receipts on and then let him see that

you saw it. But keep your head up because it happens to all of us. And he may have a girlfriend. Yeah. Screw him. Yeah. Fuck him. We're over it. We're over it. Definitely don't wait around. Yeah. I hope that helped. Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

You're welcome. You're going to be great. Thank you so much for calling in. Thank you. Bye. Have a good day. So you notice a lot of guys who are, I would call it like, um, they're like shopping around for a new house, but not ready to sell their you know

oh yeah there's so many guys on dating apps I have guys message me on dating apps and I go to their Instagram is it for sex or is it for like maybe they're trying to like they're trying to be a monkey going from one vine to another both it can be both

I actually had I think it's mostly sex though but we've had girls write in and say that they were dating a guy and it took them so long to realize that he had a full blown other relationship with another girl. How are guys not getting caught? I don't get it. I don't get it.

You're putting it out there that you're so insane. What happens, and I'll tell girls this just in case if this ever happens to you. A lot of times what happens is usually the girl will find out about the other girlfriend and what the guy will do is he'll manipulate you and he'll say, oh my God, she's a crazy ex hookup. I used to hook up with blocker. If a guy ever tells you to block a girl, that is the first red flag that he's still having sex with her and he's still talking to her and he's trying to hide you guys from each other. That's so fucked up, but it's the truth. So that's just, yeah, there you go. Great takeaway. Yeah. I don't. Or if the guy is constantly saying my ex is so crazy that's a huge red flag that's like talking bad about your employer yeah yeah yeah so always be on the lookout ladies yes

but I mean what if you do you could have a crazy ex but just try to of course right but I don't yeah but sometimes I think if you did have a really crazy ex I think because I've had one that's something a lot of well I guess I guess everyone handles it differently. You can have a crazy ex and have them not be an issue. Yeah. Right. Because I've had people like, and like,

but it's not like so crazy that they're reaching out. And you're like trashing them. Yeah. They're trashing them. But like also, yeah, the block her.

Block her. That's a huge red flag. Huge. Never block her. Ask for pics and evidence. Okay. Have I, in fact,

reach out to her. Have you been cheated on? have yeah yeah and what was your what what was your how do you feel about that now like you're honest about it i feel like a lot of people are people never want to admit to oh my god no yeah um i was definitely hurt i think i and i think a lot of times for me it's like an ego thing it's like oh shit i got me yeah really really yeah um but then i think it's also like i do think a lot of times unless you're married there's just something i've learned growing up it's like people are gonna cheat and it just happens and you gotta just bite the bullet and move on i mean my i was cheated on in high school and when it happened

my world had crumbled around me and i couldn't go to school now in hindsight it's kind of like come on like you were yeah it it sucks it is heartbreaking it's a brutal ego trip but i think most of the time the people cheating it's their issue and you have to realize that it's like it usually has nothing to do it's 100 yeah yeah their issue because even if you are in our if you are a shitty spouse yeah who like, they still don't have to cheat. They can break up with you and replace your shitty ass before they cheat. So it is 100% them.

But yeah, I mean, it's, but to your point, like it's the, you got to learn about the red flags. So the next time when he's telling you to block someone. Yeah. And also I think girls have like a really bad tendency of when the breakup happens, girls take to social media

and try to post all the quotes like Khloe Kardashian right now. We're all like, please stop Khloe. Someone take Khloe Kardashian's phone away from her. For our 10 percenters out there, what are some red signs

that she's cheating on you? Oh my God, we have so many. If she's not having sex with you. Yeah, that's a good. Yeah, if she's avoiding sex. But not because she's cheating on you. Oh my God. We have so many. If she's not having sex with you. Yeah, that's a good. Yeah. If she's avoiding sex. But not because she's necessarily

getting it from somewhere else. But a lot of times people will feel a lot of guilt. Yeah. And so they don't want to be having sex with their partner. For sure. Also, I think obviously,

I mean, the phone, it's just too easy to catch someone. If you don't know the person's name that looks like um like Rebecca in her phone but really it's changed from Rob like people change contact names all the time in their phone so you go in my phone and who's Rebecca I've never heard you have a friend Rebecca but it's really this guy Rob that I'm having sex with and you don't know about it so you see Rebecca but you've never heard of her right that's a red flag also just being sketchy about your phone

yeah if they won't let you see their phone for sure that's huge and people are getting so creative these days with cheating we talk about on the podcast the notes application the what the effort because people want their cake and they want to eat it too it's but i think a lot of younger people too it's like in college they're like we i like her but i want the other girl at the other school be fucking single people go out there yeah have some fun don't lie and I don't see I truly I honestly I've I don't get it because there's so much effort that goes in but I think it's so easy to cheat in 2019 as screwed up as it is we have an episode how to cheat or how to catch a cheater did you know that in your phone the the notes application, you can talk to people through

your notes application. So like I could share my notes with you and you could edit my notes. So if you look at, and it says my grocery list and like tuna is code for pussy. And it's like, I want more tuna. And you could be like, meet me in aisle, whatever. And so it looks like I'm just editing my grocery list, but you're editing my notes. So if you go into your significant other's notes and you see like confusing words, it's them messaging each other

in notes. There's so many ways. The notes application. I know. I just don't understand the effort. It's so much effort. Oh, a red flag also is WhatsApp. That is like,

everyone's like, oh, it's my international cousin. I talked to you. No. Oh, really? All your worldwide friends? All the hoes live in WhatsApp. So be careful about that app.

I think also checking Uber. Uber is huge. Yep. That's a huge one. Yep. Look at the timestamps. It's legally, Uber cannot delete any of the history. It's like legally you can't do it.

So there's always, you can't delete your history. So I got a question. If all these people are cheating, how did like, I mean, truthfully, how do you like, because no one wants to be cheated on, right? And a lot of people go in like, well, I got cheated on. And I would always tell people, well, listen, your last, your new partner, isn't your last partner. So you can't go in with baggage. But if all these people are cheating, how can you like pre-screen because not everyone's cheating. Like I, yeah, no, of course not. Like where, where, like who are the people who are constantly cheating

and fuck the WhatsApp and the notes or whatever? Like. I put a lot of pressure if I'm going to go into a relationship. I wait it out to commit to someone. Right. Like I make it so much effort for them to be like, they've got to want this so bad for us to get into it because then it's like, I feel like a lot of fuck boys wouldn't stick around.

I would agree. I have some, I know some guys and you know, they're like casual buddies and I'm kind of like, you're a terrible person. Cause I know they have their girlfriends and then they have their side girls. And I always be like, I don't understand the effort, man. And it all comes down to like their inability to be alone. They're just needy men who can't be alone. And I think that's a great point of if you meet a guy and you think maybe like he roams in certain circles and you're just like, I don't know. Yeah. If his friends are cheating, it doesn't necessarily make him cheater, but definitely a red flag. Right. He's a fuck boy

until proven otherwise. But like drag it out, make sure that he really like, and when you do get in a relationship early, even though it's easy to honeymoon phase it and always hang out, have your space. Absolutely. I got my shit. I have my friends. Yeah, we're dating now and I really like you, but we don't need to hang out every day, bro. Because the couples that are so up each other's asses and then it's like the minute the guy goes away on a trip, he cheats. Because it's like, oh my God, I've never been alone and now I'm alone and now I need another girl.

So independence is key. Absolutely. I agree. Well, ladies, God, I've never been alone. And now I'm alone. And now I need another girl. So independence is key. Absolutely. I agree. Well, ladies, this has been really fun. Yeah. Thanks for having us. I really appreciate you coming on. I think we should just keep people in general should be talking about this stuff.

You, again, have your podcast. Why don't you guys plug it here? Where can people find you? You can find us on iTunes and really anywhere you can listen to podcasts. Spotify, Google Play, Call Her Daddy. Call Her Daddy. Call Her Daddy, guys. here where can people find you you can find us on itunes and really anywhere you can listen to spotify google play call her daddy call her dad call her daddy guys yeah go listen if you're trying to trap a fuck boy after you listen to this show yeah first listen to nick then come over on wednesdays there's there's seven days in the week and then come on over to our instagram yeah we get crazy call her daddy call her daddy. I've noticed that your call her daddy

Instagram is private. Yeah. We actually got shut down. We, we were posting some, um, raunchy content in the beginning. So we got shut down a couple of times. So we decided to go on private. Yeah. How's that work? If you're on private, you don't get shut down. Yeah. Yeah. Not as easily. Yeah. So we're locked in there. Yep. So we can't get shut down. Yeah. Yeah. Not as easily. Yeah. So we're locked in there. Yep. So. We can't get shut down. Sometimes I'll see people with a following are private

and I often wonder why or how's that? Yeah. Is it like forbidden fruit? No. Yeah. No.

Ours was personally just because we were like we cannot get shut down again. And you opted to make it private as opposed to reassessing your content? Yes. That's exactly what we do

with the podcast as well. We just tell it as it is. And so we don't want to adjust our content just for Instagram's guidelines. I'll tell you what, you are going to get a follow request after this show. I know, everyone's like, what's happening? Yeah, it's fun.

It's fun. Come on over. All right. Well, again, thank you, ladies. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for listening, guys. Again, if you enjoy listening to the show, we would love your reviews on iTunes and more importantly, your five stars. Sometimes I ask for reviews and it's like, Oh really? You would like my feedback. Yeah.

Well, let me give it five stars. If not, get out of here. I mean, listen, you can give me critical feedback, but I still want the five stars,

you know, I'd be like, um, listen, you asked, I read reviews and be like, well, thank you for asking for my opinion. And it's great. Yeah. But you could change X, Y, Z. And for that, three stars. Oh, no. Like really?

Put that one in an email. Did you really? Put that in an email. Give me five stars and three stars in the email. You can still like. Oh, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Five stars, guys. Only if it's five stars. We're in the email. Oh, it hurts. Five stars guys. We're all a bunch of insecure people.

We are. Come on, hype us up. Anyways, thanks for listening guys. Have a great week. See you next week.