The Viall Files - E20 Releasing the Beast with Sugar Lyn Beard

Episode Date: May 15, 2019

My good friend and actress Sugar Lyn Beard joins me to talk about the season premiere of the Bachelorette. Let’s just say, I have some strong feelings about Luke P. I also spill some tea about a conversation I had with Kaitlyn Bristowe and how I may have changed my perspective on the importance of getting closure. Then we take a call from a fan that might be the most vulnerable one yet. Let’s WooWoo, talk about our triggers, and release the beast! Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: CARE/OF: http://www.takecareof.com CODE: VIALL OPENFIT: text VIALL to 303030 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're crazy you like the new like i love that little video intro i especially love the stick people on your shoulder yeah who are those guys those are the people we talk about. They are everyone. They are all of us. They are us. That music, it's like it's a touch of X-Files, but with a little spin. Very good. Very good.

Also, this mug you have me drinking out of, I'm very impressed by. Thank you. Yeah. I don't like it. A lot of people have been asking for them. We do need some swag. Yeah. We need some like it. A lot of people have been asking for them. We do need some swag. Yeah.

We need some merch, as they say. What's that word you had last week about when you're down to? Woo-woo. Woo-woo, yeah. What is woo-woo? When you DTR. When you're down to. Define the relationship.

Oh, right. Uh-huh. And I DTR. Well, you know about my DTR. I do know about your DTR. Yeah. Yes. That's who I had.

She said she wanted a relationship, right? She didn't know. No, she didn't. She, I think maybe she would want one. Be honest, be honest. She hasn't stated her claim, but I think she recognizes that we, there are some gaps.

But you said that she handled it really well and beautifully beautifully and i said i'm sure we'll hang out again oh and then and then uh she she will like you know everyone has their thing when they check in so she'll send me the the the the pool the video games that you can play against each other on itunes or iphones am i the only one who knows this like you can send you can play that might just be the younger you can play pool against each other it's a lot of fun oh pool pool or like word finder oh archery there's there's so fun there's a litany of games. Oh, so she was hitting you up via... Sent me a little pool request. Oh, that's the new DM? No.

No, it's... But no, I think she's just trying to move it healthily into just the friend zone. If you're just playing pool... No, they flipped it there. They're not friend zone. Oh, you went again? Did you go in again?

Well, that's... Did you initiate the intercourse this time or was this? Intercourse. Oh, God. What do you mean? Listen, I don't want to jump right in to be like, did you want to fuck or was it her? Like, I'm not. Yeah.

Let's go slow. She asked if I wanted to hang out. Mm-hmm. I said, well. Was this on the pool video game? The chat on the. After I stroked the eight ball into the hole, I asked if she wanted to...

No. No, I just... She just came over. Okay, all right. But that's a good thing. I'm just so happy that even the term define the relationship is out in the world and that people are considering and trying to do that

compared to yesteryear where it's like you just start ghosting. Like defining the relationship is at least a way. Oh, we're still ghosting. I know, but there's at least the concept of having to fess up to whether you want to be in a relationship or not. Listen, in my day, that just didn't happen.

Your day? Wait, how long is ghosting? We're the same age. I know, we're the same age. Nick, who are we talking to? I don't know. It was going so well, I figured maybe we'd just not introduce her.

This is my good friend, dear friend, Sugar Lynn. Sugar Lynn, everybody can, you just call me Shug. You just call me Shug. I met Shug at our mutual friend's, it was a birthday party our lovely friends kyle and martha we were having a good time it was martha's birthday we were standing around kyle's birthday they have a birthday that's for like a few days apart well and they're having

a baby which is supposed to be born right in between those days the due date is like right smack dab in the middle it's really getting it all out of the way. They really are. And Sugar, Lynn, and I signed their wedding certificate. Yes, we did. In a bar in Hollywood. We'll always have that bond. I know. We didn't get to marry them though, so that's... Yeah, I know.

Yeah, Sugar's a major movie star. Yeah, she's been in a major movie. She's been in... You've been in lots of movies. I've been in lots of movies, but I would say that, you know, the Zac Efron, Aubrey Plaza, Adam Devine, Anna Kendrick one was like a major movie. You may have seen it. It's called Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. I have seen it. That means that you've all seen me naked. If you've seen that movie, you have seen me naked, which is very exciting. I'm'm glad your search results are gonna go up this week

i saw that oh honey just yeah i saw that movie before i met you which i i thought was good for our relationship why is that everybody should see each other naked before they meet no i mean like because when i first met you i didn't like like i you know i i knew that you were in that movie but it wasn't like oh i didn't think about that scene or anything. So like, it would have been more weird had I met you and then watched it and having known you been like, oh, oh, okay. Like, well, it's interesting about me meeting you is that I do not know your work as well as maybe you knew that film. Like you being the Bachelor guy

is all a real discovery for me and you telling me all about the details of the show and it's been quite wonderful you introducing me to that whole world. Yeah, which The Bachelorette did premiere this week. We will get into that because, well, Suge doesn't watch it, her sister.

Yes. Natalie is obsessed. We'll have her input. Natalie's notes. Natalie's notes. Anyways, so yeah, Suge decided to come here. Suge, you were in morning radio. I was, yes, back in Toronto.

My career started in radio, actually. I was on a hip-hop late night show. I was just 18 when I started and then they moved me on over to the morning show

and I did that for a year and a half on Kiss 92 in Toronto and I was very good. Everybody called me Sugar Baby back then. Sugar Baby.

And I had a real thick like hip-hoppy kind of twang from where I grew up. I spoke a little bit more like this. Are you serious? Yeah. Still in my core. It's in my soul. I've had to tone my language down. Sugar also does cartoon characters.

Aren't you doing one right now? I am. I'm'm doing his name is jimmy shit pants um he's great he talks like this he's awesome but then i also i mean my bigger ones i do um sailor mini moon is like kind of the one that everybody knows and love and then my my favorite is i'm wish bear and the care bears um feature films and so that's she's my favorite that was the first movie i ever saw in the theaters. The Care Bears? Yeah.

Wow. I do have some tea. Oh. See, like you won't even know about this, Shug, because you don't, you're not, you're not part of the Bachelor gossip world. Rochelle, on the other hand, I was really mad at Caitlin. Caitlin called me this week which ended up going it was a nice conversation um for those of you who don't know I was I was really

pissed at Caitlin on Sunday she you know like I you know sometimes we do these uh the bachelor franchise will ask us to pop in and say hi or do some like on camera thing. They have this reunion special or had this reunion special rather. I'm sorry. Which was on the other week and they had all the bachelorettes and like they did this like preview on social and they were doing this word association and you know, like bachelor terms.

They're asking the bachelorettes when the phrase right reasons comes on what what does that make you think and there's this blurb on social and caitlin goes not nick vial but whatever all tongue-in-cheek i'm sure but like when it comes to caitlin yeah i am hype i am i'm hypersensitive trigger yeah it's a trigger truly i mean you've told me a lot of stories but when you were telling me this story you changed you were full of heat and vinegar i was like what is it about this person no here's the thing here's the thing uh it's because um like i in that that whole experience, overall positive, there were certainly moments that weren't so much. And I've said this before, when it comes to Caitlin, it's like of all the things, of all the times I went back on the show, every other time was this opportunity I was given and I didn't really know what I was. I was, I had to be open to the possibility of meeting someone.

But when I went on for that particular season, it was for the girl. It was probably the most sincerest thing I've ever done in my time on that show. And since then, like, so this implication of any insincerity out of her mouth about me, it really boils my blood. That's very well said. And I don't know that you've explained it like that before. So anyway, so like it just pissed me off. And like, again,

like over the past three and a half years, it was just like, Caitlin has this like track record of these, you know, Caitlin fancies herself as, and she is a very funny kind of snarky as am I person who, you know will like crack these jokes and i have been a convenient cheap joke for her but i am it admit and i admitted this to her when she called me extraordinarily sensitive about that topic because

i always um i even said this to kate on the phone I've always, it always bothered me that at least publicly, and in reality, there's always seems to be this contentious relationship that I had not only with Caitlin, but with Andy. Andy always gets a hard pass just because of like, but Andy and I have been totally fine. Andy can just sometimes be difficult with everyone. But we've had plenty of interactions and plenty of communications and hung out many of times through events that we show up to and right look we've communicated we have each other's numbers if there's something i've like asked her to be on the podcast and she has said yes and then

i've asked her again and then she ignored me but, there's at least some sort of communication. And with Caitlin, there was none. Like, do you have her number? You have her number, Caitlin? Caitlin? Yeah. No. Oh. No.

You deleted it? I think she changed it, too. OK. She DM'd me and said, do you still have the same number? And I said, yes. And she's like, and then she called me. OK. I mean, I will say the conversation, I won't get into the details of it, just because that's for, you know, I will say it's, it was a great conversation. It was a conversation that we both agreed that should have had and things that I, and she was really gracious and sweet.

And it was funny sometimes when you, I mean, I will admit I felt so much better after the phone call. Aw, you needed closure. You needed closure. My theory is that you were truly heartbroken by this situation and you're really in love situation yeah i mean in the moment and then for that time in your life you're in love with this person i just know for me personally the the exes that irk me when you know with their behavior post our relationship it's the ones that i was really heartbroken by well just also the situation too and because i don't want to like take like i've always been open about like i never downplayed my feelings in that moment when i went

on and certainly i never downplayed that in that moment i was very much heartbroken i got over it fairly i mean it took me like a month or so and you know it's interesting because i thought about this after the phone call uh well i mean i only hung out with her for like a month so it's not like i dated for a year that i you know um but like when i do like when i get questions with nick right and people a lot of times will ask me about well i don't have closure i you know what do i do and this person cut me off and i i truly believe that closure doesn't need to come from the other person like you can always get closure from yourself and sometimes you are required to do that you can't always rely on other people to give you closure because then you will be sitting there for a potentially really long time waiting for something that will

never come. Yes. But sometimes in life, years later, you will find that you will get closure you thought you didn't need anymore. And I will say sometimes that is a really sweet feeling. Now, you can't like hope for it. It's just kind of a- That's amazing. It's nice. And it was like, it was just more, again, some validating some things. And, you know, she had her reasons

and I didn't necessarily- Did she say why she's been snarky towards you? I mean, part of most of it, it was just like her sense of humor. Some of it wasn't just a sense of humor and I won't get into the details. Some of it's kind of out there and you can assume I'll let Caitlin, if she ever wants to talk about it, talk about it. But she was really gracious and it was a nice conversation and sounds like she's in a relationship now where she felt comfortable to do that. And yeah, I really appreciate it but uh because yeah i mean there was some

uh i mean i wrote on i was pissed like when she made that comment on when i saw it i wrote i i commented on the post what'd you say um and i it's funny because i knew i i knew i shouldn't do that because i i firmly believe that you should never fight with the internet true oh it's so hard not it's so hard not to it's so so hard not to i guess i'm glad i did because that's what got her to call wow you're going against all your own advice i wrote uh she had a comment i basically i at mentioned her and i was like oh really like kind of like you asked me to like you dm me asked me to show up picked another guy made fun of me at my expense three years later kind of like it was more like really are we still oh okay you know um and certainly it got a bit of attention i think uh some news outlets picked

it up and did you delete it then after the phone call i deleted it right away and i like hey just you know i deleted it and she said thanks she didn't ask me to um so um but i did and so people were wondering i immediately i think some people uh who listen to the podcast were wondering did abc because it wasn't my account like abc uh bachelorette could have deleted it had they won they didn't i i was the one who did because it was more like all right well you, it's funny because I've always, it always bugged me. There seemed to be this, I never had any animosity with Caitlin. I was always over it.

It was like, fine. I just didn't like that. Like every six months after I would forget about like whatever, there would just be some sort of remark or comment or something. Some article would be written that something she said on her podcast that was like, huh? Really? What the fuck? You know, it was like, like what did i do i just ripped off the band-aid yeah you know it was just like you know and it always like was to appease certain people or whatever but um anyways we had a nice friendly conversation it was brief and short and the context which she was just she was very sweet and gracious and sometimes sometimes you are lucky enough to get, I guess, closure long after you didn't even think you wanted it or needed it.

But it was nice. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't even realize how much I appreciated it until afterwards. It was really quite nice. That's lovely. So, well, aren't you going to maybe have her on this show? I feel like that's the next step. I threw it out there.

I don't know. Like, I'm sure she's busy with, has her guests. You know, hopefully Kate and I will be on each other's podcast, but I don't know if that's ever going to happen. Come on. She has to. She has to come on. I threw it out there, you know, baby steps.

Baby steps. But it was a nice conversation so i i appreciated appreciated it so anyways that's uh our tea time anyways the bachelor back the bachelor's back on so we're gonna we love hannah i i'm just gonna say we'll be quick recap i'm a big hannah fan yeah me too she's awesome anyone i think she's gonna to outperform all the critics that she had. Oh, yeah. People are going to get on board. Does she already have critics?

I'm surprised. Everyone does. Everyone does. But she wasn't necessarily, she didn't go as far as most people who are casted as leads go. She was like top six or top five. And she was so awkward she was awkward or whatever you know but like she's gonna be super relatable i'm also surprised that it seems like at least some you know most women watch show than men but like she's very relatable and can be awkward but like she's criticized for that and i feel like we're always like out there talking about like people who who

are real you know who yeah but you know being real whatever and she was easily one of the most real people on her on colton season she got there yeah by the end even when she was awkward at first she was real i mean it was like kind of cringeworthy sometimes but it was certainly real um i think i think she'd be great i liked her speech opening up to talking to the guys oh how many times do they have to say i you know we're just gonna be messy here i was like oh that's a little overkill well the bachelor is nothing if not repetitive they love to drive a point home let's just talk well i think we should just quickly talk about the guys. Roll tide. I do not hear that anymore.

Whatever. It's fine. Okay. You're going to. At least the first three episodes. You're going to. I only really have one thing to say. And so maybe we should get...

Suge doesn't really watch the show. No. Too much. But my sister. Her sister does. Really does. Her sister Natalie is. So to cover Suug's slack, Natalie made some notes for us.

Natalie made some notes. And here's Natalie's opinion of the beautiful Hannah. She said she looked so pretty with five O's. So that's a very pretty. So pretty. My lovely sister is in Toronto and she has five,'s. So that's a very pretty. So pretty. My lovely sister is in Toronto and she has five, four, she has four children.

You just made one up. I did. I did. Great. I really want that fifth but she's not going to give it to me. So, you know, she really does love this show and has been watching it forever. She says hi, Nick. So she says she's so pretty. She seemed very comfortable in that awesome dress, which I agree.

It seems like it helped her relax a little bit. These are great notes. I enjoyed getting to know some of the bachelors while they were in their hometowns. She got attached. Had to see them both. I love how we get Nally's notes about the guys. It was more about how Nally feels about watching the show. Yes.

She does have some. She enjoyed it. She has some opinions on some of the boys like Lukey P. What did she say about Lukey? We all have feelings about Lukey P.

Okay, let's see. I only have one opinion. Sorry. Here's what she says. She says, it was no surprise to Natalie that Lukey P

was the one to have the guts to go up to her first. It was. No surprise to Natalie that Lukey P was the one to have the guts to go up to her first. It was obvious to her that Luke was going to be a front runner. Well, he already had met her. Hold on. Okay, okay. Although I feel like she says, although I feel like he was a bit too intense for the first pseudo second meeting. She seemed to like that, though.

Seems to work for some guys right nick that's my sister oh and then just her last little point on luki p's someone needs to talk to him about his suit love the color but dude needs a tailor so there's there's natalie's luki p how do you feel about i fucking I fucking hate Lukey. Fucking hate him. Me too. Needs to go. They say the first impression rose gets, you know. Well, it's interesting in the past several seasons, you don't know this, Shug,

but I am the last person to get the first impression rose and not win. And I took second. So that's four seasons ago. I think that's correct. Yeah. But the point being in the Bachelorette specifically. Garrett didn't get the first impression, did he. I think that's correct. Yeah. The point being in the Bachelorette specifically... Garrett didn't get the first impression, did he? I think he did.

The point being in the Bachelorette world, that first impression round is a big deal. I mean, in the past how many seasons, it guarantees your top three. Wow. Which if that holds true, I do judge him a little bit. Luke's a piece of shit

let me explain come on I think you were judging him so harshly you were going off on him in the car on the way here you really were I

yes let me tell you I cut him a little slack because he's only 24 yeah first of all listen I don't

yes he's a handsome fellow is he though I don't know I I had an encounter with God in the shower. Oh my God. Fuck you. That whole thing.

Like really his opening package. I'm sorry. Like, listen here. I have a, this is a, I don't care for people who, as I describe it, use God as a weapon. It's very prevalent these days. It happens all the time. You see it everywhere. And I grew up religious.

God has played a significant part in my life and my parents' life. You've heard about this with my episode of my parents. But with social media, it's just like so – I mean, I can't tell you how many people I've met who have gained a social media following. And all of a sudden, it's Bible scriptures and quotes in their bio. I've never heard them talk about God in person. All of a sudden, every Sunday, read this passage. It's just like, it's just so easy to like, they use God. You're using God as instance here.

If you want to be a good person, be a good person with your actions. I just, I see it all the time. It's a bunch of crap. I think he had a goal. He was trying to say that he fucks a lot, but he needed to say it. Also, get on the show. So he was like, Hey,

I know I'm hot and I use it to my advantage. Didn't he say something like that? And all the girls thought I was hot too. And then I had an encounter with God. Oh, him and the blessed mother. Just, you know,

mother Mary and Lukey P. He had an encounter with God. No, he took off his clothes. He took a shower. He looked down, was worried he might have an STD from all the sex he had last week. And he started like praying to God, please, God, if I don't have an STD, I'll stop fucking.

That was his encounter. What a moving story. He's a piece of shit. It's so hard. If you read the Bible on camera, I guarantee you're not actually reading the Bible in real life. I just feel like it's a one-to-one ratio no he led with that he let he kept him out he led with this he pulled out a bible to film yeah it's a strong and it wasn't it wasn't the producers being hey maybe you should pull out a bible he was like you don't think he was like what do you know he was probably no here's

what he was like do you guys i read the bible a lot would it be cool and they're like yeah then producers are certainly going to be like yeah totally yeah you should definitely do that but it wasn't their idea of all the seasons that have happened have you seen a guy read a bible in his opening package i feel like i have doesn't feel like you was it right colton did colton read the bible on this package i'm interested to see if he's consistent with it you know and if he if he talks about God through the whole season. I have a prediction. I don't know, spoilers, whatever, but I don't honestly know if it will reveal itself on the show because there have been a lot of kind of shitty people who say the right things for a season.

Yeah. At some point, you'll look back on this podcast and be like, Nick fucking knew it. And Luke's probably going to definitely listen to this, I'm sure, or his mom or someone one of his friends they're gonna be like dude that Nick guy

he was talking shit about you he's trying to do the redemption arc Luke's one of those guys yeah he picked a storyline it's just like you don't get to find God because you decided

to tweet a Joel Osteen tweet and just be like oh and Luke's definitely one of those guys I guarantee you he's probably gonna after like if it gets legs what I'm saying about Luke,

he's going to tweet something like, only God can judge me. First of all, like, if someone out there says only God can judge you, red flag. As a human being, watch out. I'm just saying. No, because first of all, it's not true. I'm judging you right now, Luke. Also, I hate your tie. Yeah. That's judgment. Hi, Luke. look it's shug i don't hate you i think you're gonna do great good luck there but i'm gonna throw a little bible reference out there the pharisees are the

one that stood in the square and proclaimed how much they like were religious and they were the bad guys in the bible so i'm just putting it out there yeah a wolf and sheep's clothing oh that's uh i have a feeling luke's gonna be shitty i think we're gonna see it and i can't wait till we all hate luke together i don't know i think your opinion could change sugar she kept saying i'm freezing cold i'm so cold and he never gave her his jacket he walked out walked out and he growled. And she's like, oh, Beast. He's like, yeah, that's right. And then he goes, I'm the king of the jungle.

And maybe you can be my queen. Oh, I'm sorry, Luke. Are you claiming potential ownership of Hannah right now? If you weren't such a douchebag, you can still have this shitty reference about calling yourself the king of the jungle. But then maybe soften up and say, hey, if I'm lucky enough and if you'll have me, maybe I can be your king. Yours. You get so heated about something. I'm like, hmm, what does this bring up in you, Nick?

I don't really care. The way that it has really triggered you. There's something going on. Do you see yourself in him in some way? No, it's the opposite i i don't like i i i don't how like a lot he's like the extreme he's got a little bit of josh marino oh that's the trigger oh okay okay it's the people who it's the people who use god and use like these righteous like uh they they they speak in kind of platitudes. And when you're watching it, a lot of people will eat it up.

I'm sure there's a lot of people who are eating up Luke. He did not give her his jacket when she said she was cold. This is a strong point, and I didn't know that. I think he's riddled with red flags. I'd be shocked if it doesn't come out. Can we talk about someone else, Vaughn? Sure. Oh, my God. Tyler is is so hot can we agree with that huh tyler is he a pilot i like the pilots oh should we talk about tyler the tyler the the eyes who no this is tyler tyler g tyler c the dancer is he a

construction dancer tyler c i I like the construction dancer guy. I have something to say about, I do like him. Except, Tyler, you're two credits short from a minor in dancing, and the only thing that tells me on The Bachelorette is that you don't know how to follow through, buddy. You're on a show about commitment, and he's bragging about something he didn't finish. It's because he wants to be on Dancing with the Stars, for sure.

He's good. I like him. He's good looking. I like the construction dancing angle. Cam has proven to be on Dancing with the Stars, for sure. He's good. I like him. He's good looking. I like the construction dancing angle. Cam has proven to be a bit of a douchebag. Yeah? The rapper? Oh, the rapper.

Can we stop rapping on The Bachelor? I think that should be a... Why do you disagree with me on that point? I mean, if you're good, you can be good. No one's good. No one's been good. I don't have a problem with him doing it. He's proven to be kind of a douche.

Chasen. I'm douche. Chasen, I'm sad to see Chasen go. Also, parents out there, can you stop naming your kids names like Chasen? For his entire life. His entire life.

This has been Chasen's life. Hi, I'm Chasen. What? Chasen. Chasen with an N. Yeah, Chasen. That's his entire life. It happened today.

Every conversation Chasen's ever had, he had to say his name at least three times. Parents out there, stop trying to have, just name your kid like Luke or like a normal name. Nick's not that great of a name, but like Nick, fine. It's like no one's saying, is it Chasen?

Listen, somebody's gotta be the leader. You know, now there's gonna be a bunch of- You're speaking to Suge and Rochelle. Well, Chasen got sent home night one and it's probably because he's had to be the leader you know now you're speaking to suge and rochelle well jason got sent home night one and it's probably because he's had to like explain himself his entire life i really liked his exit though really sweet guy i thought they were gonna do that in paradise jason the pilot rivalry rivalry like they did with the pageant i oh i really like you in paradise like why does every why does every guy from Chicago go home night one name Joe? Who owns it?

Who owns some sort of box Joe? I also really liked him. I did too. He's like, I can make you any kind of package. Big package. He seemed like a cool love hang to stick around for a few weeks. Yeah. That was, that was harsh.

Yeah. When we were, sugar's watching a little bit in the car. He comes on. Sugar's goes in two seconds. Yeah. When Suge was watching a little bit in the car, he comes on. Suge just goes, in two seconds, nope. But do you think they were trying to make him the next grocery store Joe? How famous? If they wanted. He got it because he got. That was a happy accident, as Bob Ross would say.

But if they were going to try to make, they would keep him around. So like, obviously not. I don't know. He could have been fun. Maybe he'll come back. Peter the pilot. He's got shot he's a player tyler player he he's a player oh player in the sense of he's in the game he's in the game he's a he's a competitor sorry yeah probably i really like i think peter's going all the way from that clip that i watched in the car i said he could be your next maybe maybe next Bachelor, another pilot. Oh, next Bachelor.

Why don't we think he's going to land the lady? Maybe. I don't know. Listen, I don't know. I'm not picking a winner. I think she's a little feisty. Like she likes a...

Do you want to waste any time talking about the guy who has a girlfriend? Who has a girlfriend? That Ryan guy? What did Natalie say about Ryan? I don't know. Let's see.

He was gaslighting her. I love seeing these guys try and gaslight the women on this show and they always shut them down. Can you explain to our audience what gaslighting is? Gaslighting her i love seeing these guys try and gaslight the women on this show and they always shut their audience what gaslighting is gaslighting is when someone confronts you about something that is true and you turn it on them and you make them feel crazy but i love they never fall for it no she uh hannah hannah handled herself beautifully and awesome are we talking about douchey scott my sister natalie brings up a douchey Scott? My sister Natalie brings up a douchey Scott. The way Hannah handled the douchey Scott situation was amazing, she says.

She's only 24 and already knows how to handle herself. She did an awesome job trying to explain why leaving a girl hanging and then trying to date her was unacceptable. Even though he clearly had no idea why it might be disrespectful, creepy, and gross. But what's the difference between like that and Natalie? Thank you, Natalie.

Well, I couldn't agree with you more about Scott. We're a little not on the same page about Luke, but hey. Well, oh, he's handsome. What's the difference between that and what Tisha did? They have a picture of this Scott gentleman pulled up and he's...

You think he's handsome? I do. Not me. You don't? Do you think the guy that they think looks like you is handsome? Can we talk about that? Yeah I do not appreciate the other Luke reference I don't know about that guy honey I don't know why people say you look like him

Me neither I'm sorry He's fine looking He's a gentleman No actually I don't think he is Oh you have a brand Nick? I'm kidding It It's really nice. He's fine looking. He's a gentleman. You know, he looks like he has a face and eyes. Oh, you have a brand, Nick? I'm kidding. It's a joke, but yes.

Oh, by the way, we should shout out Demi. Our girl Demi did great. Demi did awesome. Are those the angels? My sister mentions them. She says, I loved Hannah's angels. They made me laugh, and I really hope they will be doing some more espionage to help Hannah out.

We all need a little help from our friends to get the scoop. She's so nice. I love my sister so much. This is Nick's doppelganger. This is not my doppelganger. It does not look like you at all. Do you see it? Oh, I see. Oh, he's handsome in these other pictures.

No, that is Luke Powell. He is a handsome guy. Oh, I can't find it. Is that you with the shirt? Yeah, that was not my best photo. Listen, I... Keep it up one second. I have a really... That's not my best.

I had to live that. I still have to live that. It was my first photo that's that was the first picture people ever saw of me as I see it

into my hey buddy selling software I think I'm really gonna get into The Bachelor I think you are oh my god

we gotta talk about Jed cause he could actually sing yeah oh no he's a I think I'm really going to get into The Bachelor at this season. Oh, my God. We've got to talk about Jed because he could actually sing. Yeah, he's good. No, he's a pro golfer. Jed's going far. My sister says. I usually find the guys who serenade the ladies way too cheesy for me, but I really liked Jed.

Maybe because he had a nice voice. The other guy I have a good feeling about is Peter the pilot. I agree. So, I don't know. Those are the pilot. I agree. So those are the guys. I really hate Luke. I hate him. You're all going to hate him. You're already creating an enemy. Great.

Luke is definitely going to be tweeting about, I don't care what Nick thinks. I was there for Hannah. No one can judge me, but God. He only cares what God thinks. I'm excited for Luke. We'll see. We'll see.

We'll see. We're going to turn this podcast off and she's going to be like, I totally agree with you. I do not lie. I'm so excited for the season. I'm going to be honest. Well, at the end of the day, it really only matters what God and Hannah think. It only matters what God can judge. Well, I'm doing my best to judge you, Luke.

You know who knows a lot about The Bachelor? Rochelle. I wrote a parody musical of it. Come on. I know. I'm trying to get Nick to come, but he doesn't want to come. That's not true. You did? No, you didn't. What are you talking about? Let's go. She asked me to be a participant in it.

No, no, no. You could do a cameo if you wanted. I thought you would want to. That I'd it. No, no, no. You could do a cameo if you wanted. I thought you would want to. That I'd rather not do. Oh, okay. But I would happily come and support a colleague. I feel like we can bring a load of people to come and watch our friends. Please, please, please.

It's May 22nd at Dynasty Typewriter in LA. If you're in LA, May 22nd, come see Rochelle's show. It's funny. Where is it? It's at Dynasty Typewriter our first song is called uh Right Reason so do you sing it are you in it yeah I'm in it too how exciting it's like uh it's kind of downtown between K-Town and downtown oh between K-Town and downtown yeah okay right off Olympic maybe like is it yeah right off olympic it's a nice little area it's funny you asked me what i was venting to you about uh like ever like getting over like exes or like if you still

love them and i immediately was like well no you don't still love your exes and you disagreed with me about that. Yeah, I do. I mean, I think once you love somebody, unless there's some true vicious act, I think that it should be the goal to continue to love them for the rest of their life, even though you may not be having the intercourse anymore or in a relationship or partnered up. Or just feel a sense of love like you would a friend.

Just feel a sense of love. Or do you think there's a special? I do. I think it's special. And I also don't think that being friends with your ex always works. I don't think it ever works. Really?

I'm trying to think. As I'm saying it, I'm like, who am I friends with? ex always works i don't think it ever works really i'm trying to think as i'm saying it i'm like who am i friends with there's exceptions to every rule but yeah i mean people who you really love wow nick this donut's really good see a donut sorry but i mean i have exes who like you know still talk to my parents. Sure. What do you think about that? I feel like that, like, I don't know. That almost seems like not cool. I mean, my parents are down for it. Your parents, but it feels manipulative sometimes. I often think it is manipulative. For them to stay in the life.

I also think it is manipulative sometimes. Really? What if they're married and moved on? When I've done that, it's because I didn't want to let them go, right? Yeah. So you reach out. Yeah. You want to be like,

see, your parents love me. Why don't you? I've had exes make the mistake of doing that and they'd reach, because my mom's a saint, as we all know, and very easy to talk to. And especially when I've been in relationships

and something I've always been thankful for of my parents is my parents have always been willing to criticize me. My parents have never been throughout my life, and I value this, even though we talked about having coaches who are very critical, my parents were never the type of parents who were like, oh, don't yell at my kid. It's my kid, you can't ever lecture my kid. My parents were like, type of parents were like oh don't yell at my kid you know it's my kid you can't you can't ever lecture my kid my parents are like no let's respect adults

and so my parents always even like you know if i was being an ass they would tell me i'm being an ass and so if i was ever like you know any girlfriend ever had if i'm bringing her home or hanging out and i said something or did something not like terrible, but just like maybe it was a joke, my mom or my dad, mostly my mom, would have no problem being like, come on, Nick, really? And taking sides in this whatever like playful disagreement with my significant other.

I think sometimes my significant others maybe like took that for granted and then like had that after we broke up would call my mom and vent right but vent in a way that was like about you yes oh and to the point where mom's like all right honey um because like again my mom's like the sweetest person she feels comfortable as my mom to criticize me knowing that i can take it and she might have an opinion about said ex but was like i'm not going to say this because you're not

my daughter um and then i think sometimes my uh exes some in particular got a little too confident in their relationship with my mom and my mom's like all right buddy uh yeah yeah their mode my yeah she definitely yeah my parents will invite you know my ex over for you know thanksgiving this is still going on oh yeah and i mean he's married and has a child but there was a long time where i was like no this guy like we had a tough we had a tough you know de-partnering like it wasn't an easy one but they're like but we love him and i like, that's fine. But does he need to pop over? You know, again, now I'm fine with it. And I kind of appreciate it because I love his wife and I love his child.

And like we had a very intertwined relationship. So the fact that there's some love there, I think it's all right. That's insane. Is it? That's wild. Good on you. But it's like divorces. I mean, again, this wasn't's insane. Is it? That's wild. Good on you. But it's like divorces. I mean, again, this wasn't a divorce.

We weren't married. Like a lot of divorced people still- Are forced to because they've birthed children. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. And I know very few relationships where the divorce, there's only a few that I know where in the divorce, there is a real mature sense

of we are happier not with each other than we were, but we love our kids and we still love each other. So there's a real mutual respect there. I've only, I'm thinking of one in particular, but the other ones, it's not like like my brother also is kind of lucky enough to have that with his ex-wife they got married so young and they were just such different people that

I think they were both like this doesn't make any sense this is insane and again his ex-wife has a great relationship with my parents and they have two kids together. And it seems like just a really healthy dynamic,

but it's rare. It is rare, but I think it's a good goal. And I think that that's kind of what, if you're loving, you know, you see beyond things. World Peace is a good goal too, but it's like hard to... Listen, I believe in it. I think we can get there. I guess.

Well, I mean, listen, I agree. One quality, I value loyalty. It's a huge quality that I have. And I don't necessarily, I value it with other people, but I value it in myself. It's a valuable quality. I like to demonstrate, I feel good when I'm loyal to the people, but I value it in myself. It's a valuable quality. I like to demonstrate. I feel good when I'm loyal to the people I care about.

I don't know if that makes sense, but I do. And I will say, it's interesting. My friend Charlene asked me this about Andy once. I think they're kind of at odds, whatever, but they've hung out. And Charlene and I will always have these great conversations. And she asked me, do you ever, do you, do you still hold a candle for Andy? And I was kind of confused by that question.

Very recently she asked that? No, this was a while ago, probably two years ago or something. It was a while ago. And I was kind of defensive at first being like, Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Cause I don't like again with andy and caitlin there's definitely this like almost surprised how strongly i felt with them because there are a lot of differences and like incompatibilities that we have but i do find myself loyal even as it's like andy for example i'm always at odds with her she's just a frustrating person she is she's just

like but every time Andy opens a window so to speak I'm always find myself excited to like be on a good page with her and I think with Caitlin where it's just like if Andy asked me a favor I'm happy to do it like and with every ex I've ever had there's there i feel the sense of loyalty to that even if i'm at odds with him i want i i that really it bugs me it really bothers me and so like especially if uh if we do hang out and we have a nice moment as friends it makes me feel good if there's a favor they would ever need from me i i enjoy that so i guess maybe that's where you're you're coming from. And I kind of admitted to Charlene, like maybe I do a little bit kind of have a special place in my heart, if you want to call it that.

I don't know, I might call it love. You know, I think that giving love, that kind of broad spectrum, I'm not saying in love, I'm not saying you want to spend a lot of time with them, but you love them enough to show up if they need you. And I think that that's loving. Sure, it's loyal. Yeah. Unless you're showing up and you're like, oh God, I'm here.

You said so I came, you know, like that's not love. Well, I've done that too. Do you think it's weird that like Kalen lives in the same building as Colton and Cassie as his ex? They do. I don't even know

these things. That's common knowledge. On Instagram, Oh, you know, these things on Instagram, they post, they're always working out on the same. Uh, it's my, it's my, it's my understanding is that, uh,

Kalen and Cassie are like best friends. Right. Don't you think that's weird or not? No, because I've said this before, when it comes to the bachelor world, I really truly believe that there's only two relationships every season maybe three two where it's there's real feelings exchanged

and when it doesn't work out with one of them it can get uh weird and uncomfortable and there are feelings of hurt there I don't think kaylin being the third runner up was ever that emotionally invested yeah really you know i'm sure maybe even she felt it in the moment and i'm not saying she faked it but i think once she got sent home my guess is like every other person who's ever been fourth was kind of like, yeah, I mean, I don't think it was her relationship with Cassie was far stronger than her relationship with Colton. I think that's safe to say.

And I think that happens often. So no, I don't think it's that weird would be my guess, but now I know they live in the same building. You know, which exes I don't think you can still claim to love or be around is the ones

that you still want to bone. Like if I was, like there's one guy who I will. I thought you were going to say Mary. He said bone. Oh, yeah, no,

I don't think about that one. But if you do, if you want to like, if you just can't, like if they're so desirable to you, like I have one, he was just this,

oh, he was just this perfect thing when he walked through the door. That body is fade. The whole thing was just such a package. And whenever I see him in a picture, in a room, I can't, I just wanna take him down. And like with him, I can't do it. Are you, have you often been at odds with this person?

Never at odds. Never? No. You're never at odds. Okay. What do you mean at odds? Well, I wonder because like if you're at odds with someone and you're mad at them, but deep down you're like, you know, maybe it's because I want to fuck them. Oh.

You feel this because I've also- No, I don't know that that's the same for women. I don't like want to anger fuck people all the time. That's not really where- No, I don't know that that's the same for women i don't like want to anger fuck people all the time that's not really no i don't mean you want to anger fuck them i mean i mean you're angry and then after you process said anger you realize it just comes down to i want what i can't have um that you because i always say like listen the opposite of love is not hate it's's indifference, right? To that kind of echoing your point is, I don't necessarily feel love for my exes, but if I ever have been mad at them, and in the moment, like, I don't want to say I've ever hated anyone, but feel anger towards them about a situation.

I certainly feel something. I don't. I'm not indifferent, right? And so I have a reaction to them. If some fan wrote that, I wouldn't have given a shit. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, oh, okay, whatever. But when Caitlin writes that or says that and makes that joke, I'm...

You're in love because you're not indifferent. We're going to keep going back to this. You love this person. It's very simple and that's okay. Not in love. You're not in love, but you love her. I want to finish this donut. It's right there. Not in love. You're not in love, but you love her. I want to finish this donut. It's right there.

Changing the subject. No. Caitlin's never going to come on the podcast if she's like, if we say Nick's in love with her. No, but I'm not saying he's in love, but he's certainly not indifferent and he would show up.

So that means that there's love there. Well, you care about people. I would do that for Ashley Iaconetti. And I would, she doesn't know who that is. I'm like, is she in the room? I don't see this person. Is there another person here?

But yes, I feel the same way I feel love for friends. But I guess it is that person who you're not friends with that you had any type of relationship with and you had these strong, even for a short period of time, feelings for. Yes. Especially if you're at odds and there is miscommunication, there's resentment for whatever situation.

Yes. It is troublesome. Or if you're just not done. Like if you want more of that, you know. You want more sex. Sex. From that particular person who was very, very good at it and you were very good at it.

You know, it was just a good situation. You just want more and you see them and you can't get past that. And we were talking about something like this the other day about like, just interacting with people who might want to have sex with you. Like, it's the same thing. Like, you just can't. It's tough to do it. I've had friends, female friends that that I enjoyed their friend company and really truly loved them as friends. And then I was like, why doesn't this person want to hang out with me anymore? And I was like, because they want to have sex with you. He's like, yeah, but I don't know.

I'm like, no, the person, all of these people in this restaurant want to have sex with you a little bit. Like the girl behind the register, the guy sitting beside us, the old man in the back, like everybody looks at you and kind of probably wants to have a little bit of touching. Like I would imagine it happens to a lot of people. And if you can't control that in yourself, like if you're a human being who sees something that you want to touch and you don't have the ability to control yourselves or put that in the right box, like it's impossible to get over it. So I'm not as good at friend zoning as I think I am. And that's the other thing. Your way of friend zoning, those people who you are aware even a little bit want to touch you.

I think that your friend zoning is a little bit impaired. Like you lead them on a little bit? Not leads them on, but just I think, you know, you're very charming and you know that

and you might... So if I have a friend okay who's a female and because i always think to myself all right listen i want to be friends with this person i won't overtly with them i won't make any moves on them i certainly won't like i'll like like the physical space you know yes all that separate. And we'll hang out. And I will certainly go out of my way to like talk about other relationships or women. I might be interested. I'll ask them about their dating lives and all these friend zone things. Right.

But then I see them, I go, wow, you look so good today. I can't do that. Which I think you should keep doing. And I think that you're actually very good at that part. Yes. And I think that that is the very good at that part, yes. And I think that that is the way that men can handle this, is by doing those things, talking about their relationship. I won't be flirtatious that way always.

Which I think is nice. And my dad is like that. My dad will hit on every restaurant waitress that he can. But he, you know. I don't see it as hitting on. I disagree with that so far. You're right. Hitting on is the wrong word. Because, Winston, you don't hit on them i'm sorry for saying that but you certainly it is my mother's name is

benita so um and um but he he wants to tell people that they're beautiful or comment on their fat ass no i'm just kidding you know like but he'll tell them that they're beautiful or they'll he wants to make people feel good and he wants to be charming and he he you know yeah likes that about himself and i like that about him and i like that about you and when i'm like ordering coffee if i notice something about someone i will compliment them because everyone loves a everyone loves a surprising compliment well not every woman not every woman who's working wants to be complimented on her looks as someone who was a waitress for a while i will say what if it's like i not even just like i won't i won't like i definitely won't be like oh wow damn you look i might be like that's a really cool shirt well obviously yeah that's an okay compliment yeah but you're saying you

don't want people to be like oh honey look at you this morning but you're saying you don't want people to be like, oh, honey, look at you this morning. Or, you know, you don't like to be seen. What if it was a woman? I don't do that with strangers. Like, what if I was like, oh my God, you look so beautiful today. Oh, no, that's fine. Yeah. See, I won't even do that with strangers.

I will be specific with my compliments. I might be like, oh, those are really cool shoes. Oh, yeah, that's fine. I'll find something very benign. With friends, I might be like, like wow you look really nice today but there's like a thing when you're a waitress and a guy's being skeezy to you that just feels so gross because you're like serving them oh i get that yeah i don't mean like no and that should no but that should not be encouraged i've never witnessed you think i don't know there's something about like the friends that want to

that they're that maybe you are leading them on a little bit. Listen, as your friend and as, you know, seeing people around us who maybe might want to do that, I don't think that you particularly have led them on, but they go so far down a road in their own mind and that's hard to come back from. It's tricky. I want to be friends with people

and I don't always want to have sex with them. Yes, you poor thing. No, it's not that I don't want to have sex. No, but you don't want to cross that line because it can ruin, it does in a way, it can ruin friendships. I don't, if I have, if I sense, if I meet a woman

that I'm like, I really enjoy her company, but I just, I don't, I don't see a relationship or it's just kind of that light bulb of potential relationship doesn't go off. I don't fuck with sex in a sense. You know, I don't, I'm very careful because I value their company. You have to be. And I think that that's a really important thing

that everybody should think about is you need to kind of DTR or woo-woo or define the friendship. Maybe we can do that one. DTF. DTF. Not down to fuck, but down to friend. That's very true. Is she down to fuck or fuck but down to friend. That's very good.

Is she down to fuck or is she down to friend? That's another t-shirt. Which DTF are you? Which D... Ooh, that's a good t-shirt. Which DTF are you?

Oh, very good. Should we... And there's Din Tai Fung if you are in LA which is the best in LA. It really is.

Also, just a local plug. We got our donuts today from Kettle Glaze. So good. That's thing in LA. It really is. Also, just a local plug. We got our donuts today from Kettle Glaze. So good. That's donuts in LA. Yeah, you introduced me today. Next time I go there, I hope someone listens to this podcast. Like, oh, sir, here's a free donut.

There's an example of charming. You and I both went in there and charmed everybody behind the counter today. And I feel like that's a-okay. And I think you're very good at that. I don't think I did anything. You did. You made some cute comment. I led.

I made a great comment. You know, I was like, oh my gosh, you must smell like donuts on your way home or whatever. And it was great and made everybody stay. And then you did the very same thing. We're good out in the world. I didn't even realize this. Shug, this is fantastic.

Do you have an issue with being friends with people that you want to have sex with that don't want to have sex with you? It doesn't bruise my ego. Yeah, I'm fine with it. It's totally fine. And you just never know. Sometimes, I don't know, maybe it's different for women.

Sometimes physically I can't be around you without being like, oh my God, I gotta go. I gotta change my clothes. It's not, it's not what i have i mean i'm being totally honest like what i have noticed is that uh at times like after i've gotten to know someone or maybe we eventually hook up like a couple years after you didn't know them and i've i kind of mentioned this before i feel like sometimes when I, I feel like there's a, at least some sort of mutual connection or like sexual chemistry

and nothing's happening is because I've been told that there is, they don't want to hook up with me because they think I'm a player or they don't, they can't trust me or they just like, ooh, he's dangerous. Like, you know, there's that kind of like,

I'm gonna stay away from him because like- This is after they get to know you? No, this is like, that was their initial reaction. Oh, I see, I see, yes. Or like they put up this wall, like, I don't know.

And then eventually it's like, well, fuck it. You know, whatever. Whatever, sure. I'll sit on your face just once, Nick. Is that what they say? I've had that kind of conversation. Yeah.

I'm not, but yeah. I mean, a lot of people do write in and say like, why isn't he making a move? Like we're doing everything like boyfriend and girlfriend does, but he's not like doing anything. So I would say if a guy. Yeah, that's so tough. When a guy's not making a move

like with questions nick i get a lot of that and listen and now it's the women always respond when i'm like pretty blunt like well he could be shy of course he could be shy it's always a possibility i'm speaking to the masses of probability and that probability is if he's interested he'll he'll make a move maybe he's shy but, but probably not. But also, hold on. Sorry to interrupt you, but ladies, make a move. Find out. Yeah, I don't. That's what I mean.

Find out. Put your hand on his upper thigh. They've been doing it to us for years. Just give it a try. See what happens. Yeah. Also, they are men. So even if they didn't think they were interested.

Yeah, you could probably get it in once. If you put your hand on a guy's thigh. Really? What do you mean? Any thigh? No. I mean, actually. Put your hand on his thigh.

See what happens. If I'm not interested in hooking up with someone and a girl is making a move on me, I get uncomfortable. Yeah, of course you do. I know. That's human nature that that is not right to say that men can just have sex with anything i don't think that that's true but i think people men and women are if they're not interested we'll put them that we won't get themselves in situations they don't want to be in like so body language like hopefully but like

yes but if you're like dating i don't mean like like women with women are confused about oh like we're always next to each other and he's never making a move and we're always close but he's not making a move then like maybe he is shy so make the move or whatever but like if he's never making a move but like you guys might like say your best friends you're these they're you're in the friend zone you guys go see movies together and he's just watching his movie eating his popcorn like he's not interested in making out with you and you're always like wondering if like you're putting your hand like on the wondering if you can oh both accidentally grab the popcorn at the same time but that never happens like he's not interested but if you try you never know so give it a shot well i don't think if you are friends

with a guy that you really want to be in a relationship with you're not friends like people will lie to themselves like don't no don't try to preserve a relationship unless it comes up later like unless like down the line you're kind of like whoa he is attractive and i do want to bone him do you think that happens more often than not that they get into a situation where one person wants to sleep with the other person the other person is more like this we're great friends and they think it's going to happen and they tell themselves it's going to happen and then they kind of pretend we're fine with being friends for a while but they never really wanted to be friends that's what i'm talking about yes and i think

that happens more often and then we're just. And then out of nowhere, you're like, wait, I love you. Yeah. No, no, that does happen often. Yeah. I do think sometimes like women, we can end up doing the emotional baggage of being a girlfriend and being treated like a girlfriend, but not like hooking up. Does that make sense? What do you mean?

Like being available to like for you to vent to at all hours in the night, like going to your events, like being there whenever you need it. And then it's like, you're almost doing the. Yes, that's a very good point. Well, that is a mistake I think men and women both make when they're in the short end of the friend zone

is they, and like it's that classic case of if you give someone an inch they'll take a foot so if you're willing to basically be someone's uh like sidekick or like girlfriend or boyfriend without all the other stuff people will take it and they'll tell themselves well they're just friends and like so if you're doing them favors and going to their events and you're like you're being there like plus one because they don't want to show up alone.

And so they'll bring their friend because they're not, they don't have a girl they want to sleep with to bring. So they'll bring their friend and it's great. And she's just like, he takes me to all his events and blah, blah, blah. Like that's on you eventually. I think, you know, the taking to events is one thing but i like your point about

the emotional connection stuff like i think that i mean every human being needs emotional connection and when you as a as you know one of one side of the partnership if you're like showing up and giving your whole heart to the other person. And like you said, listening to their venting, you're the one that they call and you're in an emotional relationship. That gets very confusing for people. So to me, it's like I have girlfriends, guy friends who will check in like, where are you investing your time? You know, like, where are you investing your emotion? But it's confusing because I also want to be there for my friends and and to be the one to vent from them but you can't you know be that 100 for someone and i feel like i'm getting confused or confusing you your face um but i'm often confused you know what i I mean. Yeah. Are you single? I am single.

And I. Are you single, Rochelle? I am single. Just a bunch of single people. Just a bunch of three singles in the room. Are you single out there? Oh, Mary. Look at that big old rock, too.

But you guys have never hooked up, right? No. Friend zoned. Yeah, we friend zoned. Mutually. Yeah. Yeah, it's been really it's nice here it is it is well the thing is like when you don't need to have sex with somebody you can actually be friends with them and it's a very special place and it's rare and i don't have a

lot of close straight male friends so i find it fascinating and i like to hear all of the details that i get to be privy to and having a straight friend i find it fascinating and I like to hear all of the details that I get to be privy to and having a straight friend I find it all very thrilling and exciting. You tell her all my stories. I really love it and I'm like where did the leg go you know it's great. I'm just kidding ladies he doesn't tell me all of the little details. If you ask, I usually... I know, I really do like it. You don't care. And also the other nice thing

is that all of my wonderful gays, they send me pictures of your mouth. And I'll be like, yep, that's his mouth. What do you mean? Well, I don't know if we want to go down this road, but there's just... I mean, it's fun for your fans, I don't know if we want to go down this road, but you know, there's just, it's, I mean, it's fun for your fans, I guess, to be like,

Shug, is this what his mouth really looks like? And I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, your mouth is like a thing. Sorry, is this too much? Well, I have a good mouth. I know, I know. It's fine, I don't know. People want to put things in it, honey.

That's all I'm saying. Jesus. What? It's true. I told- Don't you boys call in? Baby- Jesus.

Baby Becca on our season said on a podcast once that I had a tiny mouth and it really bothered me. And then I went on her podcast and she says, no, it's actually quite nice and in proportion to your face. But there was a period of time where literally, and I said this on her podcast, I listened to it and I was like, wait, what? And then anytime, like if I was kissing a girl and she's like, you have really nice lips and I enjoy kissing you. And I think to myself, and I wouldn't say this, but I'd'd be like it's not too small or it really got in my head so it would thank you yeah great oh there you go oh no you can feel great about your mouth i'll take a compliment i'm not saying i want anything in it but how do you like your essential oils jug oh i love my essential oils it's a very i have one in my car i have one

in my bathroom and i believe i have one in my bedroom drawer she has a our new diffuser we have rise going right now it's a little bit of a morning blend do you think of nick every time you use it no which is good i don't want i want to think of natural habits, not- I think about you because I use it in my car. Does that make you mad? Sometimes. I like the oils. I hate Nick. I have really mixed feelings about this.

You know, it's funny. I don't take a lot of bows. It's phenomenal. Every girl I know takes at least three to five bows a week. Are you- Every girl you know? That least three to five baths a week. Are you? Every girl you know? That's an exaggeration, I'm sure. Feels like every girl I know takes baths.

You know what? To be honest, I don't have a great bath situation right now. So it's just not happening. I would probably take one bath a month. I do think about it. I think it's great. Men don't. You are just sitting there in hot water alone. one bath a month. I do think about it. I think it's great. Men don't. It's just like a-

You are just sitting there in hot water alone. It's, you know. Well, I will say our essential oils are great in a bath is what I'm trying to say. No, it's great. You put a few drops in, you get the aromatherapy that you want. It can relax you.

It can relieve a headache. You don't want to put a diffuser in a bath because you get electrocuted. Diffusers are great anywhere else in the house you just put it you put it right in the water and it's uh for all the women who take baths that's so nice what a lovely treat yes it's really great aromatherapy in the tub all about that and only put like a few drops in you don't want to uh we were doing a photo shoot for natural habits and like the my my friend who modeled for me she were doing a bunch of shots and she's like pouring it in pouring it in pouring it in not thinking about it and then she got in the bath and she's like why does my

skin feel all pepperminty i'm like well you put half the bottle in so don't do that uh but uh it's a great way to relieve headaches or just unwind at the end of the day with some essential oils in your bathtub. They're also great as a dryer sheet alternative. Really? Yeah, you put them in a wool ball. You can get these wool balls at like Bed Bath & Beyond. You put a little bit of essential oils on it, throw them in your dryer.

Instead of the chemicals that come with dryer sheets that are really terrible for your body and your skin. Oh, that's amazing. I did not know that. You just put a few drops right on the – it's a wool ball. You get it like on Bed Bath & Beyond. I did not know that. You just put a few drops right on the, oh, it's a wool ball and you get it like on Bed Bath & Beyond. Huh, I'm all about that. What's the code this week?

Code Pretty Woman. Really? Yeah. You'll know why at the end of this episode. Code Pretty Woman because it's one of my favorite movies.

It's a great movie. It's one of those movies like when it's on TNT and you're just like, Pretty Woman's on? I purchased it and I actually put it on often just as background noise or when I'm writing or when I'm doing whatever. It's perfect.

It's a great movie. Code Pretty Woman. Our prices are currently reduced. You'll get an additional 20% off when you use code Pretty Woman. So they're already reduced a little bit. We're kind of having a holiday for a launch for our diffuser line. So get our diffusers uh diffuser oils and roll-ons our bundle code

pretty woman for 20 off nhoils.com I really appreciate that they added in sexy questions. That was not a request from me. Wow. But it's like they knew me. It's like they knew me. It's quite the jingle. It really does stick in your head. Yeah, shout out to Mike Hatch.

Thanks, Mike. Okay, this is from Cassandra. Hey, Nick, I need a male perspective on this my very long-term spouse sometimes travels for work it's usually just a few days but sometimes it's a full week anyway i stumbled across viagra in his closet he was packing to travel the next day so i intentionally held off saying anything because i wanted to see if he packed it he did so why else would a man bring viagra with him traveling if not for sex? He claims it was to jerk off during whiskey dick moments.

I've looked this up on Reddit and everyone says, even having legitimate erectile dysfunction, they still don't use these drugs for masturbation. It's reserved for sex stamina only. Would you believe him? Why are people going to Reddit to get feedback? I mean, she got good feedback. She went to a good place, apparently.

They should be going to Nick Viall. Yeah, go to Reddit. Go to me. For their answers. Well, what do you think? Some nonsense. Bringing Viagra. Is there any other reason?

I've never taken it. Taken Viagra or Cialis. I mean, I'm curious. I'm definitely curious about trying it one day. I've never done it. Maybe they'll sponsor. I've had friends who's tried it, but my understanding of it is you definitely want to be in a position

to have sex with somebody who wants to have sex with you before you take said drug, otherwise it's- Yeah, you're in trouble. You're in trouble, right? I mean- And I don't think masturbating, I don't believe that, that seems like a, masturbate, like you don't, you masturbate to like, you know-

Start the day. Yeah, it's like something to do when you're, you know, yeah. I feel like she would know if her husband was such a masturbating fanatic that he was doing such extreme things as like taking a Viagra and jacking off for two hours on his trip. Well, let's break down his story.

He's basically saying he goes on these work trips and I'm assuming, yes, you know, your sales trip, him and the boys are I'm assuming, yes, you know, your sales trip, him and the boys are drinking, having some whiskey, you know, and he's prepping for the fact that like, oh, you know, I'm going to go out with the boys and I'm going to have some whiskey.

And all I want to do is jerk off when I go back to my hotel room. And I won't be able to finish if I have some whiskey dick, which would be true. Yes, and people like to masturbate in their hotel rooms while they're away like those things add up totally totally but at the same time like he's never used it with his wife it sounds like she didn't even know he had she didn't even know he had it yeah i'm concerned it doesn't sound great it sounds like he's definitely having sex with other people

isn't it sad we don't trust our gut so often sometimes to trust your gut is to ask the questions ask your question but is to basically tell your ego that you're not that great

you know what I'm saying to not trust your gut is like, and say like, I feel like there's something going on and he might be cheating on me. Well, if he's cheating on you, then your ego is like, wait, no one would ever cheat on you. You know, like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not go there.

Your ego is constantly fighting your gut. You know, your gut. Well, it's also like your worst nightmare that he is cheating. So you don't want to listen to that. You don't want to listen to that because it's like this, it feels like a reflection on yourself.

It's not, but it feels that way. Yeah. I don't, there's, he's definitely, I don't think guys take Viagra just to jerk off. The only guys that I've ever known to take Viagra is because they were going

to do a bunch of drugs and knew that they were going to lose their erection and Viagra helps to have sex. But they all assumed or hoping they were going to have sex with someone. It wasn't like, I'm gonna do a bunch of drugs and then like jerk off. No. No. It just seems like a really weird thing to do. Maybe he was testing it for the first time. This is not true. And I think that he's doing,

he's sleeping with other people for sure is my 100% answer. But I mean, the fun answer is maybe he just wants to have a big boner and walk around his hotel room and be like, look at my boner alone in his room. And he puts puppet, maybe he puts a, he turns it into a puppet. I have a whole bunch of theories

that we could go down that are wrong. Well, let's assume he's telling the truth for a hot second still a potential problem because again the bigger problem is if he's taking viagra fine but he hasn't taken it with her to her knowledge so even if he is taking viagra just to jerk off on the road he must like be really enjoying this jerk sesh without her and really wants to have a massive boner while doing it he's like basically cheating on you with his hand well it's interesting because i you know like wait to be alone with my hand for a week if you're in a relationship a long-term relationship there's nothing wrong i'm assuming with having a little private time

with yourself and i've i agree do you agree rochelle oh yeah are you like offended i think it's no i don't i think that oftentimes especially in heterosexual relationships like i feel like men want to fuck a lot more than i've been in relationships so they should not have that ability really yeah i used to get annoyed by that but i just i think i was just dumb you know i didn't realize that i think there's a yeah i make them sit in a chair so i go watch no i'm just kidding it was more it was this thought of like well if you ever ever want to if yeah if you're my boyfriend then and you can't get off without me being a part of it. Because then, therefore, you're cheating or whatever.

That was like this. Or it's like a feeling like I'm not satisfying him. Yes. And it was more like. Oh, my gosh. I just think it's so unhealthy to not do that. I dated a guy once, this sweet guy who, for his own reasons, it may have been religious, religious i'm not sure but he wasn't allowed to jack off he was like he was an athlete i think it's both oh i think both yeah okay there you go

jack and jerk jacket and jerk it um but i think like for him he wouldn't allow himself to do that and when we finally got to the point and we engaged it was like a massacre the poor guy had so much built up in him and like he was just so it just was not it wasn't a pleasant experience too much and then for me i'm like well i can't have that much sex with you like i'm the only thing you're allowed to have sex with? That's not good for anybody in this situation. I wasn't married to him and it didn't go that far. So to me, I'm like, it's healthy to be able to release. But I'm saying in this case, he's doing it so much that he needs Viagra.

That's like a little different. That would still, I think she'd have a right to be bothered. Even if it was, if he's telling the truth, it's like, why are you taking Viagra just to jerk off on the road? Yeah. I would, if she was calling in, I would be curious what her actual sex life with him is. My guess

is, it's, she's wanting more. That'd be my guess. My guess is that she wishes they had more sex. Would you think? What do you think? Why do you think that? I just think what made, because if he's cheating on her, I mean, do you think he's also having as much sex with her?

You know, sometimes our guts tell us things and it's coming from somewhere, like maybe like they're having less sex. That doesn't always mean your spouse is cheating on you if you have less sex. No, that's a good experience. Maybe you're mean to them and they don't want to have sex maybe like they're having less sex. That doesn't always mean your spouse is cheating on you if you have less sex. No, that's not fair. Maybe you're mean to them and they don't want to have sex with you.

Maybe you're tired. Or that too. Yeah. Yeah, no, I would be very curious to speak to her as well. I think that, you know, I think you should be encouraged to call in. Clearly, Nick and this room full of wonderful people have very solid advice.

So just call in. Don't be shy. What's up, Vivian? What's your question? So initially I had emailed, it was actually like two weeks ago, and I was emailing about my husband's activity on Instagram and he wasn't ever posting about me or my kids. And it's funny because I guess like two hours later,

I found out he was actually cheating on me for, like, a year and a half. So I guess from a man's perspective, I was just kind of wondering, like, can we question your activity? Like, would you post, you know, like, if you were in that serious relationship? Well, this is tricky in the sense that he's actually cheating, right? And so I don't know. Well, he did. He the sense that he's actually cheating, right? And so I don't... Well, he did. He did.

Hopefully he's done. Okay, well, we'll get to that in a second. But unfortunately, I know some guys who are cheaters, and they're not necessarily married, but they actively cheat on their girlfriends. And it is shocking how clever and savvy they are about their activity and how uh uh secretive they are and so it's almost the quite quite the opposite is that there's they're very conscious about not liking things and posting things and and and do a

lot of things to hopefully make their uh person their interrelationship would not be suspecting of their activity. So I just generally think that sometimes with social media, it can be misleading and we can spend way too much energy worrying about this activity. I think if you are in a relationship, whether they're cheating or not, and they are posting a bunch of pictures or liking pictures of other women or doing things that bother you, if you're in a committed relationship,

I think you have every right to be like, hey, like this bugs me. Yeah. There's a one thing of, you know, you don't wanna be the, you know, I just think social media is not that important that if you are in a relationship and your significant other has a reasonable request, then you should do that.

And if you really think about it, it's not a hard question for them to answer. Like, hey, how come you never post pictures of me and the kids? Like, how come we're not on there? Why is that not one of your storylines that you're putting out into the world? And that's a very simple, there should be an explanation for that. You know, if he's active on the platforms and he's using them and he's putting out this persona into the world via social media, like, why wouldn't you want to include us?

And maybe his reason, I'm sorry to find out that it was that he was having some other life and I'm very sorry about that that's real shitty behavior and you bring him to my house and I'll tell him a little something but um but um yeah I you you know when somebody's being shady and to next point it is often strategic on a man's part so what are you doing now um so we are trying to work things out um how did you you know he he completely ended um like so it's with the co-worker so it's kind of hard like to end that completely like talking wise but he you know he gives me his phone and i look through his phone how did how did you catch him um actually so the girl i guess found out that we were actually still married and in a relationship and so she called me like literally two hours after i emailed you guys

damn and then so she called you you confronted him he fessed up and now you're trying to work on it where this and this is like two weeks this is this is raw oh my goodness well i i am sorry that sucks and i know you're probably still processing this uh oh yeah for sure i uh i'm like in the denial yeah i'm sorry did you Were you satisfied with what he was saying to you? Did you have a chance to really speak to the lady and find out what was happening? Do you have some clarity at this point? Yeah. I mean, I don't think I'll ever be satisfied.

But I think what I'm learning now, like obviously I go to therapy. I think everybody does. I'm learning now, like obviously I go to therapy. I think everybody does. But I think not really going into detail and not doing like the who, what, when, and just kind of figuring out why. I haven't been in that situation married. You guys have kids or don't have kids?

Yeah, two kids. So you have kids. I mean, there's so many variables that you have to consider on that. And that, you know, I am sorry for that. But really try to trust your gut you said you're in denial and that's that's how i think a healthy admission because i think at least when i was cheated on you just want to you want to believe the person that's been lying to you so much and it's hard to do right and you want to believe that they are sorry and then they will stop and all these things, but you are talking to a liar.

I mean, you are talking to someone who didn't even fess up but got caught, and now he's not necessarily sorry he did it. He's sorry he got caught. Right. And also keep in mind that he was lying to her as well, and you don't really know what he would have done if forced to make a decision knowing that she was still open to it.

It sounds like he might have lost that option. And people often, you know, it's like, oh, well, I got caught by her. Let's see if I can save this relationship. And so I think you're just in a pickle. And I'm not here to tell you what you should do if you want to work on it that is your prerogative and you should do that

but just be mindful of and trust your gut really know if you think he's being truthful because you are at risk of he's just a liar and he's going to do and say whatever he needs to do to not be alone

my goodness. You're just spooning some harsh truths there, which is I'm sure why we ask somebody like Nick who's not attached to the situation and who can give you some blunt hard things to hear. I know that listening to you. Too tough? No, no.

You know, he doesn't know the whole story, but I think that all of that is very true and something that people that are immediately surrounding you may not say so you know I just I just am sensing and if I were you I know that that would be hard to hear so I just wanted to say like no I think that no no you're not mansplaining at all it's it's lovely is my more my point like I get it I get why people ask you stuff. Like that's, that's good.

But yeah, I mean, you don't want to liar. That's, that's for sure. And that reasoning of like, well, they're at work.

So they still kind of have to talk. Why? Yeah. I don't know. I, I, I, may I,

may I give you advice on this? Yeah. If you can, and I don't know. May I give you advice on this? Yes. If you can, and I don't know if you can, because again, the variables with the kids, it's so hard, but I would really take some time for yourself in a sense of what do you want out of this? want out of this? You know, like if you could have anything you want and there was a genie, so to speak, and you could literally change your entire reality, do you even want him in your life? How much is this your hurt and you don't want to feel the hurt? Like what do you really want? And is this someone you can trust? And I think it's important in this situation to think of your expectations more than just hoping that he's sorry and really think about that because I think in your situation at least when I was when I was

cheated on you just you feel like you're the one who's like six feet under and you're trying to get back up to like above water and you're trying like and so you're just trying to you're kind of you're it's a desperation mode it's kind of like well just say you're sorry say you'll never do it again just like just tell me that and then i'll be fine but is that what you really want i guess is my question if you didn't have that hurt and feelings would you want to be in that situation and so when i guess what i'm trying to say is you actually have more power than you feel in this moment. You probably feel powerless.

And I would challenge you to try to realize that and then invoke that power if you can, because I think in the long run, you will be much happier. You did. Whether that means you're still with him or not, but stand your ground and stand up for what you think you deserve. Yeah. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, definitely harsh, but definitely needed.

So, yeah. Because right now I think, you know, I think the first, you know, I'm grieving right now my past relationship. And I think the first part of grief is definitely denial. So, yeah. I'll get there. You know, some of these excuses like, oh, I'll show you my phone right now my past relationship and i think the first part of grief is definitely denial so yeah i'll get there you know some of these excuses like i'll show you my phone because i'm not texting her well probably because she blocked him you know probably because he can't call her um right you know and uh again he's he's he's been doing this for a long time. And so, yeah, I'm sorry.

You're going to be fine. I can promise you that much. At once, you're better for knowing now, even though it sucks to know. Because now you have more power than you had before. Because now you're in a position to make decisions on information you now have that you didn't before. Right. Well, thank you. Well, you sure are gorgeous, and what a fucking idiot, if I may.

Thank you. Yeah. I told him that maybe more than five times. Well, that's true. You know, it doesn't matter what he thinks, just what you think. You tell yourself that. Don't try not to, especially, I mean, he's your husband. If you want to make it work, fine.

But you don't need the validation you think you need from him right now. And I think it's easy to want to be that because he hurt you and he cheated on you and he was supposed to be the one person who you can always count on and that always makes you feel better about yourself and he's done quite the opposite so it's very easy for you to just want the validation from him but i don't think you need it as much as you you your your ego thinks it does yeah and his default obviously is going to be to validate you left right and center and I think

that the only person you should really be listening to right now and for the next little while is yourself and he comes as he's lucky that you are even considering and I would take it as a time of considering I wouldn't just say okay let's give it a shot.

Be in a position of take that power and be like, yeah, I'm considering this. Yeah, you have a lot of power here, so don't forget that. I think that's the biggest takeaway. Yeah. So, all right, go watch Pretty Woman. Yes, Vivian, watch Pretty Woman. Oh, that's going to get your power back too. Yeah, you should.

Put on a knee-high boot and watch it, and then we'll see what's up. Take a bubble bath, put some essential oils in it. I'll get some essential oils. You just need to tell me the code. What code are we going to use this week? Code Pretty Woman. There you go. Beautiful girl again.

Look at all these lovely women. What is your name? Samantha. Hi, go. Beautiful girl again. Look at all these lovely women. What is your name? Samantha. Hi, Samantha. I'm Nick. This is my dear friend Sugarland. Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Thank you for welcoming us into your kitchen. Yes. How can we help you, Samantha? So I have a situation, and I've been kind of struggling with it for a while. And I just wanted to get some outside perspective about it. It's regarding two of my friends. Their names are Sarah and Joe, and they're both married. They're married to each other.

So Joe's a male. Oh, go ahead. Joe's a male? Or it could be a woman. Is it Joe, male, or a woman? Yeah, Joanna, JoJo, you never know. Joe is a male and Sarah is a woman. Okay, and they're married.

They're married, yes. So about six months ago, Sarah actually told me that she has been cheating on Joe for the past year and a half. Do they watch this podcast? No. They don't. All right.

So she confined in me and our group of friends, everybody knows. So you've got a group of like 15 people that all know about this situation and we regularly see Joe because obviously Sarah's like one of our good friends. Okay. And so there's a lot of times where

you know, it's both of them together and it's kind of awkward how everybody knows. Ugh, I bet. Except for Joe. The only person that doesn't know. Ugh, God, my heart breaks for Joe. I know.

They're married? That's kind of where I'm at with it. They're married? Like, if it was me, I would want to know. Well, and it's so unfair of Sarah to ask to put you guys in that position as well. Yeah, I mean, I kind of wish that she never would have told

us. Curious, Samantha. What is your relationship with Sarah? Tell me about Sarah. We're pretty good friends. Really? Definitely one of my good friends. We're pretty good friends. Really? Definitely, like, one of my good friends. Best friends?

Good friends? I would say good friends. Has Sarah ever done any things to you that maybe cheated on you? But, like, are there other things that Sarah does where, like, does Sarah think about Sarah a lot? Yeah. Yeah, I think he's trying to find out her character and what kind of a person this is. Like, is this something that you kind of expected from her?

Did you see this coming? What's the best thing that Sarah's ever done for you and your friendship? Like, the best thing? Yeah, like, yeah. I mean, like, she made my birthday a really big thing and I really appreciated that. I'm not, like, yeah. I mean, like, she made, like, my birthday, like, a really big thing, and I really appreciated that.

I'm not, like, I don't know. I just, like, she's a good friend of mine. Do you trust her? I don't. Yeah, I do. You sure? I do think, like, in Sarah's relationship, she could have completely different behavior than she does with her friends.

I'm not saying that, but I forgot. Cheating is one thing. That's the hard part about it. It's like, you know, she could be one way to us and then be a different way in her relationship. I don't know. In my experience, I'm sure like certain degrees, yeah, I'm not saying she's exactly same with joe as she is with you or everyone else but like sometimes and i'm sorry i'm talking about your friend shitty people are shitty people i just think in general they sometimes might show it in various pockets and it might be more obvious and sometimes shitty people have a really great uh have a really great

knack of kind of like sometimes over loving to protect their friendships and other spaces but at the end of the day over time it all evens out and everyone can kind of agree they're shitty but i i think that sometimes our friends make shitty moves and it's up to us to hold them accountable and help them grow past being a shitty person but this is more than a shitty move this is like a yeah this is pretty bad this is like a thing i don't even know how to like right this is not like i fucked up and i like i went to this party and i went i went to this bachelorette party in vegas and oh this guy and he was oh and i fucked him and i like oh yeah it's not a one it's not a one fuck it's like a multiple she's telling everyone she's not only cheating on this guy she is emasculating and belittling and mocking her husband not necessarily to his face but to

everyone else and doubling down by telling you and all her friends and then making you decide whether you should choose over the two she you are now guilty and i'm sorry samantha you are now guilty like if this were a crime, if this was a murder, the police would come to you and say, you're an accessory to murder. You're committing a crime. She's being mean to you guys by putting you in this position. And you choose to decide versus loyalty versus her or Joe.

But at the end of the day, Samantha, I guess what I'm saying is you have to decide what's right or wrong to you, right? Like you may have to choose your friends and you might have to choose your relationship with Sarah or choose not to be, but you have to decide what you're okay to live with for yourself. How would you want someone to treat you? If you know,

and so it's, this is not a friend worth protecting. And to Sugar Lynn's point, if this friendship is, is worth saving and if this someone you do want your life um she probably won't handle it very well in the short run but hopefully she has the maturity to realize that what she was doing is wrong and maybe she was like not being her best self and i think the only way that you can feel good about this situation is by holding her accountable and saying what she should be doing in this.

I did. You did? Yeah. So how are you feeling? What is going on? I just, it's so, like, it's hard, like, just being around him in general because it's like, I mean, I know about this completely other relationship that she has. Yes. And then, like, he's such a good guy.

Like, he's a really, really good, genuine guy. And it breaks my heart that he has no idea. But, like, I just, I don't know. I just don't know if it's my place. Hold on. Is she actively? I know what's right for me. But I don't know that it's, like, my place to ruin their relationship.

It's already ruined. Honey, she's ruining it. And is she actively in this other relationship and still in? Is she like enjoying both of her relationships? Yeah. Oh, she is having a good time. This one. I don't know.

I don't know. It is your place. You can't. She made it your place. She told you. Yes. it is your place you can't she made your place she told you yes and and do you really want to be surrounding yourself with people who are like betraying somebody who you identify as a good person and who doesn't deserve that if that guy was like beating the shit out of her or something

and then she's going off and having a side relationship maybe i could help you find you know whatever but no she is being real shit. Yeah. And also some things you want to consider, Samantha. Sarah, well, maybe not right now. And you may never marry Sarah or be in a relationship. But the fact that she's capable of doing this to Joe means that she's capable of doing it to you. I know.

Whenever it serves her purpose. Yes. And I don't know what that context or if that situation would ever arise or create itself, but if given a situation where she could be a shitty person to you, she has proven to be capable of such things.

That is well said. So true. Also, she is now, again, she's made you an accessory. So now she is a, it's a reflection of you at this point. In the sense that it just eats me up inside like it really does it makes you feel like you're cheating and you're you're

not cheating but she's making you a cheater and it's again not to be too harsh on you it's now reflect now you have to decide whether this is who you want to be it's a reflection of you as a person now that you know and you're going about it now you are becoming a person who's capable of hanging out with someone like joe who is being wrong and lying to him on a different different basis and and and i mean i'm not it sucks to be a snitch sometimes but like this is not like again you're an accessory to murder in a sense you just need to be like sarah i cannot be around you and especially cannot be around Joe while you're doing this. Handle this or I can't be in your life.

Like, no, she's not that valuable. Unfortunately, I bet your party was great and that she threw you a nice party. But oftentimes when people throw you a really big party, that's actually about them, too. Yeah. Yeah. I bet you told everyone about how great how she threw the party. May I offer you some advice on how great her, how she threw the party. May I offer you some advice on how you could handle this conversation with Sarah?

Well, I mean, that's how I reached out. Oh, great. I would not be apologetic. I would not be worried about hurting her feelings. I would absolutely come in next time to this conversation and be very clear about your expectations. And those expectations are, Sarah, I've done some thinking about your relation with Joe.

And I've decided I just don't want to be a part of this. And I love you. And I think you deep down have a heart. And that's what I love about you. But right now you're not being a good person. And I don't want any part of it and you've made me a part of it. So you now,

and I don't want to be friends with someone who's capable of this and it breaks my heart to say this to you, but it's come to that and you either need to tell Joe or I'm going to tell him, I'm sorry if you're mad at me or even if you hate me in this moment,

but right is right and wrong is wrong and I'm not about that. I think you need to be that clear and I think you need to be that clear and i think you need to be that strong because sarah is someone who's used to manipulating people you may not even realize it but i assure you she is confident she right now has 15 people who know the truth and she's fucking around with another guy and her husband and she's not worried about being caught that is a manipulative fucking person so you need to like step up and be like fucking stop i'm calling on your bullshit and i don't care what you think

about me because deep down i know you're better than this and you need to stop that is so that was really lovely sorry to make light of it but you keep impressing me i'm very proud of you that is exactly right what a great way to put that. That's how I would. I agree. Yeah, no, I appreciate the advice. And it sucks, too, because the person that she's cheating on her husband with, he's in a relationship, too. Yeah, another not cool person. These are a lot of lives she's living.

No, it's just getting, like, it's too much. And, like, maybe that's what I need to do. I tried like pulling her aside and being like, hey, like, you need to stop doing this or end your marriage. But she wouldn't listen. She won't do anything. But Nick's advice is right to not make it about them, but make it about you and what you can handle and what you want and the life that you're trying to lead. And it doesn't include this kind of bullshit you know yeah yeah and as as yoda would say there is do or do not there is no try you can do this samantha you can absolutely stand your ground and you can

call it on her bullshit and and you tell you need to tell samantha i am not afraid to lose you as a friend. Yeah. And maybe you can gain Joe. Maybe Joe can be a good friend to the 15. Who knows? Probably not. Joe's probably going to be super pissed. But you know what?

At the end of the day, you're going to be better for this. You're going to be better for this. And it'll be a weight lifted off your shoulders. And you can then respect yourself for doing the right thing. Yeah. No, I really appreciate the advice, and I always like how blunt you are. I appreciate it.

He's so blunt. And I think I needed to hear that, honestly. Well, hopefully it was helpful. No, it was, for sure. I really, really appreciate it. Well, I appreciate you calling. Thanks for sharing your story. All the best. Good luck luck with it Stand your ground

You're going to have to really be strong here Puff out the chest kind of peacock Because I'm telling you what Sarah is a manipulative Little She is like we all know this she is You don't tell 15 Fucking people that you're cheating on your husband And then continue to do it

Without having a lot of fucking Balls so to speak fucking people that you're cheating on your husband. And then continue to do it and enjoy it. Without having a lot of fucking balls, so to speak, and knowing that you are a manipulative little fuck. For a while. And that is who Sarah is. You're getting angry. Wow, the speech that he wrote for you is much nicer than this. I think I knew what I needed to do, but I just needed somebody else to.

All right. Listen to Nick. Now little Nick is going to be on your shoulder and if you don't do it he's gonna he's gonna bug you have sarah call in next week bye thank you guys so much i appreciate it thank you bye-bye we're all humans in a sense that we all can be make mistakes we're vulnerable so like if someone were to say yeah i've cheated like let's say we just go on a date with someone right and then early on the dating process and you're like people will ask like have you ever cheated on someone that's a pretty common

question that comes up early in the dating process and if someone said yes i wouldn't be like oh i can't date you i my immediate follow-up question be like well all right what happened you know walk me through that and if someone said i think it was a few years ago and you know whatever and i'm not to make excuses i made a mistake but it was a kind of a one night and I fucked up, but you know what? I knew I screwed up and I immediately told my, I owned up to it and I apologize and we realized whatever. I can process that. I can, because we're human and people make mistakes.

The person who's an active cheater, who like has two different relationships going on, is constantly lying and doing all these things in their phones whatever that's a bad person yeah and if i found that out i wouldn't want to be in a relationship with that person or even consider it because that person is capable of this heavy manipulation and lying you mentioned you have some friends who are active yeah you have friends that are active cheaters they're guys i know who like i do I go to parties and be like, hey, what's up, man? I know them.

No, they're not friends. Yeah. You're friends enough they tell you they're cheating. They're just, that's just who they are. And I tell them to their face, they're bad people. I don't know. I'm not so friends with them that I know their girlfriends. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I'm like, you know, you're a terrible guy. Yeah. And they kind of joke me like, yeah, I know. And I tell them to their face. I don't really know. And they're also, and I tell them to their face, you're not someone I terrible guy. Yeah. And they kind of joke me like, yeah, yeah, I know. And I tell them to their face. I don't really know. And they're also,

and I tell them to their face, you're not someone I would ever count on. You're not that type of friend to me because of the characters you represent. I'll tell them to their face, but they're not like my closest friends. They're not someone who I would advocate for. And they know that.

But there are guys out here I know do that. This is someone who's, it's her best friend. It's like, this is her group. They hang out every time. They're everyone's friends. Dirty. It's just dirty to have that in your friend's circle. And it's just interrupting.

I'm sure it was the same for you with your friends. It's like, why are you bringing all of that drama in here? Let's just have a nice, clean, easy. So you left the friendship. Well, I i was at i flew to her wedding and then her friend our mutual friend told me she's like oh yeah you know about that she's cheating on him and i was like wait she's getting married she's getting married it ruined the whole wedding for me and then i i talked to her about it after and she got mad at me she was like how like selfish of you to bring it up on my wedding day it wasn't on her wedding i waited uh you could have brought it up on your

wedding i would object yeah selfish people love calling everyone else selfish yeah in fact that is i've learned this about self i mean i can be a selfish person i'm not like but i'm saying like that was a knowing giggle right i don't know like i i you know i i can be selfish sure that's okay sometimes it's important i'm aware i try not to be but i like we all like our society has gotten more and more more selfish but i mean like truly selfish people they're so selfish they don't realize it and they fucking love calling everyone else selfish. Everyone else is selfish. Especially. Yeah.

Because those are the people that will not hold a mirror up to themselves. Because if you're so selfish by definition, everyone has to be selfish. Because if you're so selfish that you expect everything to be about you, at the moment someone makes it about them, they're selfish. You know, like that's how their brain is working because they're so like obsessed with their needs that everything else that comes out of anyone else's mouth is like how could you this is about me you know what i've noticed this about stuff like truly selfish people uh so what have we learned today ah so much trust

your gut well that's that's a general theme i think don't cheat don't cheat uh you don't need pills to jerk off i really don't but a hotel room to yourself does help i mean listen i know i don't know i don't know how it is for women but for guys uh when you guys masturbate are we gonna save space? We're going down the masturbation hole. Are we gonna save space? When you guys masturbate, I don't know what makes you guys, like as guys, it's not as if,

like when you're, it's not like you're walking, all of a sudden a boner shows up, you're like, oh, well, I have to take care of this. Sometimes that's how I feel. A female boner?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. All of a sudden your clit is like three sizes bigger than it was in the morning. And you're like, well, I better. I'm distorted. Maybe it's because as I get older, like it's not like maybe that's how I was 18. I was like, oh, damn it. But I think there's sometimes it's like I still have, you know, I still like, I have a sex drive, right?

And so it's like, I want to feel that feeling. I'm not having sex with anyone. I'm not dating. I'm not like, and so I'll just go ahead, you know, take care of it. Do you ever do it for practical reasons? Like, oh, I'm going to have to work a 12 hour shift. I better just get one out before I start. Or like, or like, what about you?

Do you ever do it practically? Planning in my calendar? Like, you know what? I'm going to get one in right now before I start my day to really give me a burst of energy. Does that ever happen? I'm not a real forward thinker. Just like live in the moment. Not a planner.

Not a planner. It doesn't give me a burst of energy. It's more of like, chemically, guys, it's like eating masses of amount of turkey afterwards. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're like,

immediately asleep. Ugh. Like it's, he got real dumb afterwards. That look. You gotta watch YouTube to get that look. For like 10 minutes afterwards,

guys will never be dumber. And right before, as we talked about with our Call Me Daddy friends, if you ever want to get anything from a man, ask him a question 15 to 10 seconds before he climaxes. He'll say yes to literally anything. Right? I mean, it's just, well, I don't know. Yes, he will.

Will you change my light bulbs in the kitchen? Great. Yes, he will. Will you change my light bulbs in the kitchen? Great. Yes. Practically, I will say, I talk about like a sex life more and more, but like I'm not a numbers guy, even though maybe sometimes it seems like I don't like, I've never been someone who like,

I want to go out because I want to take a girl home or I never, I don't like randomly hooking up with people. I really don't. I'm not saying I haven't and I will be dating someone maybe in a casual way, but there's a relationship. I don't like that. And I have gone out. There are plenty of times where I've been out, where I'll meet this girl and she's beautiful, and she's hitting on me and even my buddies would be like dude nick she's that girl's a babe you should definitely should you should take her home

and i think to myself and there have been situations where i'm like you know i'll ask her her age and she's like god jesus christ you know like you're you know she's younger and like i don't i don't really know you and like you're beautiful, but I don't feel a connection there. And in the moment, you know, maybe I had a few drinks and I'm like, I will be thinking to myself, well, it's okay. You know, you know, there's a sex drive there. You're out, you feel the energy. And I have in my moment thought to myself, I've like, I've like broken it down kind of like beautiful modeling style in my head. And like, I'm thinking to myself okay I could I could take her home and we

could probably have sex and certainly you know I'll want to have safe sex so much I'm you know I'm thinking like I'm gonna definitely work on it but what if what if like what if we like don't right away and I'm gonna be like I don't really know this girl so I'm gonna be paranoid I'm gonna have to go

to the doctor and get I'll be thinking about this and i'll think to myself you know what fuck it i'm just gonna go home and jerk off go to bed wake up wait like with a clearer mind i that had that is a thought process i will have practically about like i do i really want if i could just get through this you know what it's like as a guy it's like going to the grocery store and like are you describing sex as going to the grocery store? As a guy, right? Oh, no. No, here's what I'm saying.

It's not good. In that moment of potentially going out and meeting some girl that you don't know and having the option to hook up with them and as a guy, it's like going to the candy aisle. I don't know about this. It's like, just don't buy it. Just don't buy it. If I just have the willpower to not buy it here, I will feel better about it.

But if you go and buy a bunch of donuts, you eat it and you don't feel good about yourself. Instead of you go home, you masturbate, you're fine. And then you're like, I didn't hook up with a person. I barely know. I like this theory. I didn't have to worry about like- I think this is a good way for men to think.

I didn't have to worry about like, did I wear a condom with someone? Do I have to worry about like, all these things that like I would worry about, did I wear a condom with someone? Do I have to worry about, all these things that I would worry about anytime I've ever hooked up with someone I didn't really know. These are all these paranoid thoughts I've ever had. So I will think, you know what?

I'm just gonna go home and jerk off. It's gonna be fine. I don't have to worry about it. I think that that is very healthy and I think that that's a lot of maturity, Nick, because instead of getting into these situations, you're playing chess moves. You're being strategic. Sometimes a jerk off is much easier than a initiation of a potentially tricky situation.

Just jerk off. That's another T-shirt. Just jerk off. You disagree, though, Rochelle? Oh, this is a very unromantic way of thinking about sex. But sex isn't always romantic and I don't think that it should be thought of that way. We're talking about the girl who's hitting at me at a bar

who's like three whiskeys deep and she's trying to get me to take her home and she's really hot. And like, instead of thinking with my dick and taking her home and having sex with someone I barely know and then regretting it because I don't know her, that's the equivalent of like, ugh, there's Starburst in this big bag and I want them and I'm hungry and I know her that's the equivalent of like oh there's

starbursts in this big bag and i want them i'm hungry i'm gonna buy them it seems like it's such a good idea and then you eat the whole bag and you regret it and then you wake up in the morning and there's wrappers all over all over it's like yes and you're like oh what did i do last condoms on the floor i'm pretty sure i use it the whole time but then we use it like, then we start using it and stop. Yeah, that's not romantic. I agree with you. But it's not always romantic, and that is true. Sometimes sex is not always romantic, and it's great when it is. And it's great when it's not.

You're crazy.