The Viall Files - E201 Ask Nick - Nipple Sucking

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

On this weeks episode of Ask Nick, We first speak with a couple that is trying to work through some issues of her feeling like he is not making her a priority over his career as a comedian, which always has him traveling and him trying to explain the time he does spend with her is not his “leftover time”. Next a woman having a virtual relationship with someone and the conversation has turned sexual over text only, and she is confused when he says he is “down for anything” but he seems to shame her for her suggestions. Mental health issues are keeping our next caller from getting into relationships fearing the conversation around her biggest insecurity will keep someone from wanting to be with her and make her hard to love, and finally someone is trying to figure out if she should shoot her shot with the guy she is texting with or wait for him to make the move to meet in person. If your stuck with your family and need a break from the holiday festivities don’t worry, we got you covered this week!  “Turkey, It’s like if Thanksgiving was about candy and you had to eat candy corn.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Blendjet: http://www.blendjet.com/VIALL for an extra 12% off.  Helix Sleep: http://www.helixsleep.com/VIALL for up to $200 off. Butcherbox: http://www.butcherbox.com/VIALL to get 6 free grass-fed, grass finished steaks.  Rothys: http://www.rothys.com/VIALL to check out all the amazing shoes, bags, and masks available right now.  Fight Camp: http://joinfightcamp.com/FILES Get free shipping and a gift valued up to $109 with your purchase. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before you settle into this podcast, make sure you get your Blendjet. You're grabbing Go Blender so you get your smoothies to start your day. So good. I have a smoothie every morning. Enough with the greasy takeout and unhealthy prepack snacks. No matter where you go, if you have your Blendjet, you're only ever 20 seconds from a fresh smoothie or protein shake. It can even make cocktails, baby food, salad dressing, omelets, salsa, soup, and more. Go to Blendjack.com slash V-I-A-L-L right now to save an extra 12% off.

What is going on, everybody? Happy holidays. Thanksgiving weekend. I'm so excited. I love Thanksgiving so much. Well, I don't know. My mom has COVID at the moment. We're recording this in advance. So hopefully she's supposed to visit me.

So that all depends if she is able to get healthy and test negative so well wishes to my mom well wishes to your mom anywho on a brighter note i hope you guys are having a great preparation for thanksgiving hopefully you're being safe uh with your families and your choices and maybe you're you know if you can get tested great but we're here we're here for you for you so that when you get annoyed with said family whether you're with them or you're not you have us to lean on and hear other people's problems and and and and feel better about yourself do you have a favorite thanksgiving thing not eating turkey turkey is the most overrated what do you you eat instead? Like chicken?

Anything. Pizza, ribs, meatballs, steaks. Not cut fruit. Not cut fruit. Turkey. Not my favorite. Do you eat meatballs on Thanksgiving? Whatever you want.

Why do you have to eat turkey? Because it's Thanksgiving. Yeah. I'm a nonconformist. Why do I have to eat turkey? Hey, it's Thanksgiving. Happy holidays. It a nonconformist. Why do I have to eat turkey? Hey, it's Thanksgiving. Happy holidays. It's supposed to be a day you enjoy.

Now eat your fourth favorite meat. You probably sit there with your meatballs and your football and just get it done. Why should I eat a meal? I'm sorry. Turkey is like the worst. Even if you put gravy in it? What's better than turkey? Let's run through the list.

Steak. Chicken. Pork. Fishak, chicken, pork. Fish. Fish, salmon, like a sea bass. Then maybe turkey. Maybe. Okay. Why should I, like, Lutzen, give thanks and indulge on your favorite foods and then like.

Except for the turkey part. It's like, oh, if Thanksgiving is about eating candy and then you had to eat candy corn just be like okay nah i hate candy corn so much so now i get the reference i feel like i feel you now turkey's a fun it's fine it's totally it's fine i've never had a turkey and gone this is really good turkey it's a sandwich food it's a sandwich meat sandwich food i'd rather have a turkey sandwich do you have thanksgiving turkey sandwiches afterwards is that okay no my dad does i love this i i i'm not a big leftover guy guys i hope you guys are having a great thanksgiving preparation filled with turkey we have a great episode for you.

I hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to send in your questions at asknickatcastme.com, cast with a K. We have a fun couple on here, and I think I nailed it, but it's fun to have couples come on. Get your boyfriends to come on. It'll be fun. Listen to these.

I think they both enjoy it. We appreciate you guys sending your questions. You can be anonymous. You don't. You can protect your identity. And you guys sending your questions. You can be anonymous. You don't. You can protect your identity. And you guys are the lifeblood of this show. So do your part. Sending your questions.

AskNick at CastMe.com. Cast with a K. Sending your five-star reviews. New merch. New merch. I have a beanie out here. Wi-Fi. I love it.

New merch on VileFiles.com. Clever sayings like, oh oh we have a mask here mask just because you're sad doesn't mean he's special right here people just get a mask get your vile files masks traveling for thanksgiving wear your mask uh if you wear a mask that says just because you're sad doesn't mean he's special, you will be the talk of the town. You will be the talk of the town. It's kind of great.

And also, can you just promote our podcast and just tell people about it? Tell one friend, everyone listening, and just be like, hey, there's this great new show out there. All right. Anyways, let's get to the callers. How's it going? Hey, what's up? I'm Jessica.

I'm 30. And I'm here with my boyfriend. Hey, what's up? my name is eric i'm 30 years old out of los angeles california awesome and you guys are dating you're not you're not engaged or married you're boyfriend and girlfriend i hope you're married if that's news to me if so but yeah we've been dating for about two years okay why would you say you hope we're not engaged because it's news to me. It's a big surprise. Yeah, I guess I get what he's saying.

Anyway, Jessica, you wrote us in. And so why don't you kick it off? Yeah. So honestly, everything is great. Like Eric's a great boyfriend. The past two years have been wonderful. The only thing is we have kind of one reoccurring issue that has been going on literally for the past two years.

And it's just that he, I really admire his work ethic and how dedicated he is to his career. But his career is like very much number one to the point where it just sometimes like becomes an issue where it's like there's no time for us there's no time for the relationship because the career is like always coming first and it would be nice to like feel like I come first once in a while so is that like a just a feeling or a reality And I'm assuming you guys, you said you guys have brought this up. So this is something you guys have discussed or even thought about.

Yeah, I think we just don't see eye to eye on like what constitutes as like how much time our relationship should get versus how much time he like gives to his career. Like it's great. much time he like gives to his career like it's great he's like so career oriented but it really it's it's basically things like canceled date nights because he has work canceled vacations because he has work so those are where it becomes like a real issue okay and eric you do you have a take on this um point of view so far oh most definitely most definitely. So when Jessica and I first started dating, I definitely wanted to be really clear and have that strong communication because in past relationships, my work has been an issue. So I think it was something that we assumed that we could work through and kind of navigate a little better. But two years in,

it's a problem. It's not something that we can necessarily just like work through as easy as we thought we could can i ask what you do yeah i'm a comedian and i'm an actor okay so it uh you're on the road a lot i mean covid aside um still been getting dates over covid just the east coast just did oregon it's been um it's been a struggle thus far, but in that struggle, I really need to take the work I can get. Um, and it's no offense to Jessica and it's not me not wanting to spend time with Jessica. It's like, yo, money's been real tight. Unemployment's running out. And I got a headlining weekend. That's going to be a week over here. So I know we had a date night here. I know

we had a thing here, but I need to make my money and pay my rent. And in addition to that, I remember probably about a year or two ago, I booked my first national commercial and it was a big deal. It was really exciting. But looking back on that, it kind of crossed over with a vacation. And I don't look at that as like, wow, that was a cool commercial that I booked. I looked at it as like, oh man, I just made Jessica sad. And that's not the memory that I want to attach that if that makes sense yeah so I'm curious like when you guys started dating it sounds like Eric was already aware that this could be an issue he knew he was motivated he's got a lot of dreams and ambitions when it comes to his career and the reality is for him to be successful and for him to make it he has to be as dedicated as it sounds like he is to have a shot and the flip side doesn't mean you know

jessica has to deal with these things so my question is like when this stuff happens eric are you are are you trying to make up for the disappointment ever? Or is it just like, hey, sorry, had to miss this time. I mean, I'll get you back. But it never, just it never really feels like it becomes the priority. Because I can get like, okay, well, shit happens. I mean, if like, especially in that space, like, and I'm also, I don't want to speak for Jessica, but I'm assuming there was some excitement and you're happy for Eric, for him

booking this big national job and yeah that sucks the vacation but like is there ever a moment where it's just like now I feel like you know is there like a time in a week or a month where all of a sudden like you're just like hey babe this is me making sure you feel like you're a priority still because in the pockets of you know whenever you do have any free time that you feel like you're a priority still because in the pockets of you know whenever you do have any free time that you have are you taking that time to you know make uh you know jessica feel special uh totally i think um i'm always trying to communicate like how bad i feel and how this isn't something where it's like, oh, I'm choosing this over you because I want to choose over you. It's like I have to and I apologize.

And I think a big issue is when I am back in town and I do have those free dates, I feel like Jessica feels like I'm the free time I have and I give to her. She's like, oh, that's like the leftover time and I'm getting the leftover time. And it's like, no, you're not getting the leftover time. You're getting the time when I'm in town and we can go on dates and have little day vacations. And, you know, I can bring you flowers and try to make you feel special in every way I can. But at the end of the day, you see that as like, oh, that's just your extra time. That's not time you're carving out for me when it's kind of all the time I have, if that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. But it is your leftover time. It is literally like you book all your shows and then figure out amongst your shows what time you have instead of being like, okay,

before I book for this month, let me figure out what days are going to be like for my relationship. So it is your leftover time. Helix sleep. I've been sleeping on my Helix sleep mattress. So wonderful. It is truly the most comfortable mattress i've ever had and it's like kind of fun to have sex on too um is it kind of fun to have sex on or is it actually fun i'll tell you what it doesn't get in the way it doesn't get in the way it doesn't make it worse sometimes it can get in the way a mattress really you don't think so i don't know i don't think i've ever had a mattress get in the way. A pillow maybe, but not a mattress. This doesn't.

But most importantly, I am a side sleeper, and I like it. It's so wonderful. And here's the thing. You guys might not all be side sleepers. You might be a back sleeper or a stomach sleeper, and you just take a quick quiz. They get you the mattress you need that comes in like a box. The most fun thing about your Helix mattress is opening it up

and have it turn into a mattress. It's amazing. You don't have to take my word for it. Helix Sleep was awarded the number one best overall mattress of 2019 and 2020 by GQ and Wired Magazine. The year's not even over, and they're already giving them the award. They won. They already won. They already won.

They're done. So yeah, I took my quiz. I was matched with the midnight mattress. That's what I have because I'm a side sleeper. In the meantime, if you're looking for a mattress,

check out helixsleep.com slash V-I-A-L-L. Take their two minute sleep quiz just like I did and you'll be matched with a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life.

Helix Sleep is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash V-I-A-L-L. That's helixsleep.com slash V-I-A-L-L for up to $200 off. Get your meat in your body. Get your meat in your

box. Hey, listen, if you like protein, if you eat steaks, chicken, bacon, pork, really anything, salmon, fish, ButcherBox is the way to go because not all meat is created equal. There's so many. It's not? No.

They put a lot of crap in some meats at some places. Well, I'll tell you what, ButcherBox doesn't, and it's high quality. It's amazing. You can get grass-fed, grass-finished steaks. Whoo, baby. You can get grass-fed, grass-finished steaks. Woo, baby. You can get nitrate-free bacon. If you have nitrate in your bacon, you're doing something wrong. I'll tell you that much.

Anyways, also, the best thing about ButcherBox is its convenience. They deliver right to your door with quality meat that has no added antibiotics or hormones. Ever. Like, never ever. Each box has 9 to 11 pounds of meat, enough for 24 individuals. That's a lot of meat. It is packed fresh, shipped frozen, and vacuum sealed, so it stays that way. It's the best meat shipped right to your door, which means one less trip to the grocery store.

Yay. That rhymed. For a limited time, new members get six free grass-fed, grass-finished steaks when you go to butcherbox.com slash V-I-A-L-L. That's two New York strips

and four top sirloins added to your first box for free. Act quickly! This offer is only good through Cyber Monday. That's six grass-fed, grass-finished steaks for free in your first box.

Just go to butcherbox.com slash V-I-A-L-Laks for free in your first box just go to booksbox.com slash v-i-a-l-o get that hormone-free box i mean technically but is that what you want jessica like you want do i want leftover time no one wants leftover time but it also this is like a framing thing right like to you it like, and you've identified it as leftover time, which you can do. But also like in terms of what, what is, what is your solution to what you think is the problem? Well, Eric makes his own schedule. He's, he's the one scheduling all his shows.

So like, that's also what I think is what is hurtful is i'm like oh it's not like oh that's a bummer like you got scheduled these shows you're the one who scheduled all these shows you were just on the road for nine days came back and scheduled shows the whole week why weren't you thinking of me why didn't i like cross your mind do you schedule your own shows eric um to an extent but it's also like if i hit up a club in minnesota and i'm like hey i would love to headline this club for a weekend they're going to tell me those dates they're going to be like all right can you do you know february 2021 second weekend and if i come back with them as like oh i i can't then that relationship with

that club is i I don't want to say burned, but it's like, oh, okay, well, we'll hit you back up when we have our next thing. Do you want to work 2023? And it's like, I don't know. It just is what it is. And I think it's one of those. Go on. I'm sorry. No, no. Yeah. I mean, I guess the solution here is how do you guys just, it's like, it's all about compromise, right? Like, you know i totally get eric's point of view i totally get jessica's point of view right like no one's wrong here so this is not about like who's right and who's wrong you guys just have you guys just have to figure out what's the solution like how can you both compromise also like jessica there's a part like this is his this is for for to a certain extent this is eric's career and unless he drastically

changes it there's as especially until like he quote-unquote makes it and i'm you know note like i'm assuming you're you really want to be mainstream and and i don't know what your goals are i don't want to assume for you but like you're it sounds like you're busting your ass and you're working hard and and uh you're tryingusting your ass and you're working hard. And you're trying to make, to a certain extent, are you okay with that, Jessica? Like, are you willing to, in the short term, make some sacrifices for long-term happiness? I don't know. I'm not saying you even have to be.

But in every relationship, there's like short-term goals and moments and things that you're happy with. And there's looking at things long-term. Sometimes it's hard to know because you don't know like what the commitment level is a relationship, right? I get that too. So there's a lot of variables. So you guys just have to figure out like, what are you willing to make compromises? What can Eric do? Is it, is it like making you feel like you're part of the scheduling process? Like, because that's why I asked Eric, I was curious if he really feels that way that he makes his own schedule. Like, it sounds like it's a kind of a networking thing. He puts out some feelers. He's like, here's, and then people let them know when they'll take them. And he's like, he just kind of says yes to everything because that's kind of what you have to do to, but at the same time, like I get why you feel the way you do,

but I guess my, my, here's my question in the short term, Jessica, when Eric is available, as long as he's making you feel like I, when I have free time, it's her time. when I have free time, it's her time. And to him, it's not leftover time. Are you able to not just see it as leftover time for the short term? You know what I'm saying? I think, yeah. I mean, I think like it is in the back of my head

that it is leftover time. Like it is, honestly. And it's always, there's always just like a time restriction on it. And it's always there's always just like a time restriction on it it's always like oh I have a I'm doing this gig in the morning or this like live stream in a different country so I have to be up early so it's like there's always some type of restriction and that's another thing that makes it feel like it's very much like restricted for me not restricted for all the other things and And so when we are together,

obviously we have a great time. We enjoy each other's company. It's always fun. He's so good to me. But in the moment when it's like the moments where he's letting me know like, oh, I have to cancel this or I'm doing this or, oh, I'm literally not free for the next seven days. That's when I'm furious. Yeah. I mean, I listen, I think you're just, you're going to have to decide if this is a situation you want to be a part of.

Why don't you, why shouldn't tell Eric? He has to make more time. I get what she's saying. Like from like, I'm not saying anyone's wrong. How about you like decide these are the days

that we're gonna put together and you just commit to the fact that you don't schedule something on these days great oh you know what Eric I'm telling you this so here

this is what I'm telling you but you know what Eric's gonna feel like and I'm not taking sides I'm just saying this is what's gonna happen you're gonna make a guy who's like spent his whole life

having these ambitions feel like he's like fine I'll life having these ambitions feel like he's like fine i'll just i won't go and that's fine once in a while but eventually he's going to resent jessica so like i yeah i get that but also i'm getting to the point too where i'm starting to like feel some type of way about his shows like when he invites me to show i'm like i actually don't want to go because those are i get that i think that's causing all the problems in my life right now so you guys just have to figure out what the compromise is i don't know and i if i had to have an opinion if you guys do you guys think there's a minus this problem is there a hope that you guys

are each other's person is this like you've been dating for two years? Of course. Like, I think I can marry you. Like, we don't know yet. But like, is that a mutual understanding there? For sure. Okay. For sure. So I guess what I'm, if that's the case, and I don't know if you're going to like this, Jessica,

but it's just more like, a lot of it is perspective, right? I get it. But it sounds like, and you's a lot of it is perspective, right? I get it. But you it sounds like and you have a right to be frustrated in no way. Am I suggesting you don't have a right to be frustrated, but your frustration has snowballed into you not even be able to enjoying the time that you do have. You've decided it's like this is fucking leftover time. That's all it is. It's bullshit. It's garbage. And you put yourself in a bad headspace when you do have time so you can't even enjoy the moments. And again, I get your frustration. You have a right to be frustrated. But like, what is that doing for you when you do have Eric around?

Like, it's just bad energy, right? Now, should you be expected to do this forever? No, of course not. That's not a relationship. That's not sustainable. It's like, that's not going to be okay. But can you guys find a compromise where like, you know, maybe even the short term, this is okay. And like, listen, every relationship, you're going to take some chances. No guarantees. If you guys got married tomorrow, you could get divorced. Who knows? If you have a kid, you could have problems. Like Eric could say, like, I'm going, like, you're going to have to trust. What do you trust Eric enough that he is going to make up for lost time if he's able to make it? You're going to have to trust that. And at some point, you're just going to have to decide, all right, I'm going to trust him.

And I don't have the answer. But like the only alternative is me just be pissed off the whole time and frustrated. I'm like deceiving right now because you're saying everything he always says. So you guys are both annoying. Listen, you don't have to do this, Jessica. He literally always is like, you have to trust me. Trust me that it'll be all right. I know. I know I don't have to do this. Obviously, I want to. Listen, it's like, do you want to? But again, I'm not saying you have to do this. You just have to decide which prom do you want it but the again i i'm not saying you have to do this you just have

to decide which problem do you want and you love this guy you want to try to make it work this is not a super convenient situation like you have decided to love each other and you guys are in a situation where it's not as the it's not a super easy situation. That doesn't mean you should break up. Right. Like, but you have to decide what sacrifices you're willing to make. Because again, you can,

Eric, we could like, it'd be like, Eric, fine. Like, don't go to some fucking shows, man.

And I'm just saying, eventually that's going to create another problem. And I, I'm not saying that's right. I'm not saying what you should do, but like you just have to decide which problem you guys can work with and i'm just simply saying i do like if in the short term jessica you you can't try to change your perspective i i honestly don't know if this if this is if you guys are compatible enough i mean and maybe that's just

the case like if you are i don't know like he's not going to change his ambition. As someone who's career ambitious, I can relate to Eric, you know? And so I'm not trying to take his side. But what I can do is relate to his motivation. And I just know for me, if I'm similar to Eric in that regard, I won't feel like I'm being my truest self if I have to not be able to chase my dreams. And I am someone that as a boyfriend wants to be attentive. It would break my heart to have my girlfriend feel like I make her feel like she's leftovers.

Has it happened to you before? Sure. I guess. Yeah. We broke up. I mean, listen. But that's not why we broke up i mean listen but that's not why we broke up that's not why that's not why that's not why we broke up it is just finding you know i do think to a certain extent

it doesn't do you any good jessica just deciding it's leftover time yeah what would you call it time with eric yeah who cares like you know what i'm saying if if you guys are having fun whatever that fun is movies sex something hiking or whatever you guys like to do and you're gonna have fun and you just decide well it's leftover you're just stopping yourself from having fun that you would otherwise have. And again, that's not to say that you deserve to be made to feel like a priority for some time. But you know what I'm saying? You have to try to separate the two.

Like, what good does it do you? Yeah. It's like you're going into a negative already. Yeah. Yeah. It's not going to help you get through again no if if you if if eric called up me if you guys called me up right in a different situation and eric was just like i'm a lawyer and this it will always be this way it's never going to change so she either needs to accept it or we

need to break up then i would be like you guys should break up that's not what this is right this is like this is where this is this is my career now hopefully things change i don't can't predict the future but like you know and you have to decide whether you're willing to accept that he was a comedian when you guys started dating you knew off the bat kind of i mean you know what you know what i'm saying so like you don't have to decide this you don't have to accept it no one's you know that's that is your choice so how much are you willing to put up with right now to get to like the promised land to get to a a situation where it's just like now i do feel like i'm more of a priority and and eric in the interim can you try somehow to make her feel like you are making sacrifices for her without completely sacrificing your ability to make it in your career i don't have the answers

for that but like can you find those moments like you know what i'm saying like and when eric's trying to find those moments give them the benefit of the doubt you know what I'm saying? Like, and when Eric's trying to find those moments, give him the benefit of the doubt. You know what I'm saying? Like, because I'm feeling like you've got yourself in such a rut. You're trying to poke holes in whatever he is trying to do to make it happen. It's like, well, is he really? Am I really a priority?

Am I really? I don't know. I think you just try to get like pretend Eric is like the kid who can't do anything right. And you're just trying to give him a win, you know, but try to give him the literally. Don't try to be the one who's like, you know what? You could do better. Anyone can always do better. But just give them participation trophy.

You know, I like that. Actually, if he's trying, you know, know like god man there's a plenty of people call in and their boyfriends don't give a shit enough to try i know you know they're just like i know listen i know how good i have it i'm i'm aware of that but also just because i have it better than literally probably 90 of the people out there with what a good man he is does not mean I don't deserve the rest of that 10%. Sure. And that's up to you. You deserve, Jessica, whatever you want in a relationship. But you have to be willing to make sacrifices yourself. And it sounds like you are. It's just a choice, right? I don't care. No, totally. Just decide what you want. It makes

no difference to me. I think it's great that you have expectations for yourself there's things that you want and that is fantastic right uh you just have to try to you know if this is the guy you want to be with and you want him to be happy too you know what can you do okay fine i will yeah just i think in the short term that's's what you guys got to try to do. Try to stop calling it leftover time. You've gotten into your head. Okay, fine. Throw him a couple bones.

If I'm taking away something from this, I will stop doing that. Chrissy, those are amazing shoes. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. They're Rothy's. stop doing that. in the wash spanking brand new uh rothi's shoes are incredibly comfortable with zero break-in period thanks to their seamlessly knit to shape design with many chic styles to choose from rothi's shoes are the perfect present for everyone on your list it's no surprise that rothi's best selling shoes the point in black has over 3 000000 year perfect reviews.

Anyways, yeah, a lot of my women friends have Rothy's, and they're cute and stylish, and they're all like, oh, my God, you got your Rothy's? Oh, my God, but they also make bags. Don't forget about the bags. They make their bags. I mentioned the bags. Because I like their bags a lot, too. Did you know that Glamour named Rothy's,

one of the top gift ideas that you can't go wrong with? Well, say no more. Anyways, save the environment, have comfortable feet, and look stylish with Rothy's, one of the top gift ideas that you can't go wrong with? Well, say no more. Anyway, save the environment, have comfortable feet, and look stylish with Rothy's. Check out all the amazing shoes, bags, and masks available right now at rothys.com slash V-I-A-L-L. That's rothys.com, R-O-T-H-Y-S dot com slash V-I-A-L-L. Style and sustainability meets to create your new favorites. Head to rothys.com slash V-I-A-L-L today. Fight camp! Fight Camp!

Fight Camp! What is Fight Camp? Well, it provides boxing and kickboxing workouts and tutorials that keep you energized, learning, excited, and motivated. A program that's never boring and always challenging. Fight Camp! Brings you to the boxing gym, to your living room with a tech twist. They provide all the gear, top trainers, and a new technology that tracks your punches.

Everything you need to get workouts in. The boxing workouts has always been ranked as one of the best ways to get in shape. I can vouch for that. I love boxing to work out. And it's honestly one of the most fun ways combined cardio and strength training. So with Fight Camp, it is a fun way to get the whole family motivated to be active and get fit yeah so basically fight camp brings you the boxing and kickboxing gym to you with fight hardened trainers that combine cardio and

conditioning in a full body workout and they send you all the gear send you all the gear what do they send you chrissy they send you freestanding punching bags are available great quality boxing gloves quick hand wraps their unique punch tracking sensors that show you real time progress and stats on your ios device i mean then once you have all the gear you can choose from one of six trainers and real fight experience to lead you through a 15 30 or 45 minute workout fight camp is the perfect gift for anyone who wants to take their fitness to the next step fight camp offers flexible financing for as low as zero percent apr and zero dollars down and right now as a limited time offer get free shipping and a gift valid up to $109 with every Fight Camp package.

Just go to joinfightcamp.com slash files, F-I-L-E-S. That's right. Get free shipping and a gift valued up to $109 with your purchase. Bring an authentic boxing and kickboxing gym into your home with Fight Camp. To get your free gift, just go to joinfightcamp.com slash F-I-L-E-S. Okay. And in the meantime, when Eric, just try,

make her, convince her that you're giving something up, even if you're really not, you know? I'm trying, baby. I'm trying so hard. I've been trying for two years. Is there like a day that's not popular at the comedy clubs

that you can be like, okay, this is our day? Or maybe just pick a day during the month to like to like lock in for something the two of you do together before you schedule around those days i think i think there's definitely that time but like the annoying thing is like okay if um i have you know monday through wednesday set up for you and a big showcase for like an hbo special pops on monday yeah hbo comes calling girl i mean i would never i would never that's a present for you i would never make him turn

down anything that he felt was worth canceling our time for but it's still annoying when it happens but here's the thing jessica there's no but there just be happy for the guy you know what I'm saying like and then Eric will try to make up but you know I'm saying just just yeah there's no but you got HBO it's awesome you know what I'm saying like you don't every little situation doesn't have to be like uh what's the win-loss thing here like I'm happy for what does he owe me now as a result but I still think that it does you no good to just label the time with Eric is leftover time. It just doesn't do you any good. Yeah, I agree. Okay.

Yeah, I won't do it anymore. Because like it's still time with someone you say you love. So. Okay, then if I do that again, Eric, you can refer to this podcast and say remember you told nick you wouldn't do it anymore we're all human we all say a lot of things i think you should just give it a shot because it sounds like you guys really love each other and it sounds like there's a lot of good things here and i would hate to see you guys exhaust each other over something like you guys really want to make work. But if you guys are going to be too stubborn with the things that you guys are on, then you're going to ruin a good thing.

Definitely. I agree. All right. Well, thanks for calling. It's been fun, guys. I appreciate it. Thank you. I'm going to go cry in the shower right now.

I appreciate y'all very much. That y'all i'm happy to hear honestly eric when i read the email i really thought this would be like i don't have to like you know this guy decided to come on and i'm just gonna be mean to him but like it was the other way around i mean i just i think there's always two sides to every story and i think for again the important thing here is there's a lot of good going on here. Let's not ruin a good thing. Well, best of luck, guys. And Eric, I hope you're on billboards all over the country someday.

And when you make it big, don't forget about me. I will not. Then free tickets. What are you talking about? All the free tickets. Thank you, talking about? All the free tickets. Thank you, friends. We appreciate you a lot.

Thank you. How's it going? Good. How are you? Good. What's your name? My name's Ivy. Hi,

Ivy. How old are you? Hi, Nick. I'm 38. Great. How can I help? Okay.

So there's this guy I've been talking to. I met him online a few weeks ago. I haven't met him yet because he lives out of town, but he's going to be moving back to where I live. So we've just been talking virtual relationship at this point. Yes. Gotcha. Okay,

cool. And so we've been talking about a lot of things and it's turned to sex stuff which is fine it's really fun actually okay he definitely initiated it and so last night we were talking and like i said we talk about all sorts of stuff and i said something about sucking on his nipples which I thought was a pretty tang question compared to what we've talked about and compared to what he's asked me but apparently he thought that was really weird so I'm kind of baffled because I don't think that's really a weird thing okay and your question is like is it weird or or or what or is there more to the story he just acted like i can't believe you'd want to suck on my nip which i didn't

actually say i wanted to i just asked him about that so you sent us the screenshots so you're in the blue here she's in the blue yes you said you going to let me suck on your nipples? He responded with a bright-eyed emoji. You like that? He replies, I've never had that done to me before. Sure, LOL, he says. You write, what the hell, cry face? What the hell is in what?

Like, what the hell? Like, that you've never had that done to you before i was okay he wrote lol thank god you were kidding turn it but you weren't right you weren't kidding i was trying to be nice lol he says which you were not expecting so he's really not down for anything. With a confused emoji. I'll try anything once, he writes, exclamation point. LOL, just never been asked that before. Kind of a strange one. Don't worry, not going to suck on your nipples, you reassure him.

Hey, whatever gets you going, JK. Good. That would be awkward. Ha ha ha um so what is he lol ha ha what did he say what uh what is he like what what was some of the other things you guys talked about well he just told me you know that he was down for anything and that he could get pretty kinky so i didn't think that was kinky so it really surprised me that he thought that was weird gotcha here's the thing it's not that it's weird but you know listen i i haven't pulled a lot of guys or asked about this, but I'm just thinking for me personally, the idea doesn't turn me on,

and I'm willing to guess it doesn't turn many guys on. Sam, what about you? The idea of your nipples being sucked, I'm getting a head shake, no. I just don't think Sam's our engineer. He's the only other guy in this room. So you're 0 for 2, 0 for 3 with guys, like just the idea of turning them on. Now, this room um so you're oh for two oh for three with guys like just the idea of turning him on now that being said you're right it's not a big deal it's

just like you didn't know that not a huge if a girl sucked on my nipple nipple i wouldn't be like what the fuck you know there's a there's a big difference between a girl sucking on my nipple and like you know shoving a thumb up my ass which i might be like you know what nah nah you know no but a nipple suck i'd be like you know whatever i'll let you dance there for a while but uh yeah i don't i it's so what i'm saying is i don't think you did anything wrong and it it's his response that is a bit childish and and hypocritical given the fact that he is instigating this dirty talk and then making you feel judged um as a result of of him not finding it so like note for you yeah guys don't find it hot like if you like it some guys do i think it's like a toss-up some guys do and some guys are like it's just whatever. Well just know

it's a bit niche. It's niche. It's not like a It's not like this is the only thing I've said to him. We have talked about like a ton of stuff. So I just threw this in. I was just wondering. Yeah. Again I'm not You know what I mean? It was just like a little comment

I thought. I'll let you dance there for a while. What? Nothing. It's just a little comment. No, listen. I agree with you that he overreacted, especially via text. And the fact that like also here's the thing.

Have you FaceTimed with this guy or is this all text? No, I've only texted him. Okay. Okay. So you should never – here's your biggest mistake. Stop texting – stop sexting someone that you haven't either met. At a minimum, you should have talked on the phone. This could be a robot for all you know. It's probably not. You're probably fine.

I'm not trying to freak you out here but like do some verification before you start telling people you're into sucking on their nipples which are fine it's fine that's the biggest mistake here but he started it and i just that's fine no judgment and going along with it but like you guys don't know each other's like let's let's assume he's real all right There's no indication to think that he's not, but let's assume he is. When you're getting into, you know, sexting, like, you need to know each other's personalities. You need to know each other's sense of humor.

You need to know, like, and you guys are going into the unknown where so much of how things are read are based off interpretations. He's never even heard you talk. You read are based off interpretations. He's never even heard you talk. You know what I'm saying? He's not reading it in your voice. He's reading it in his voice or his ex-girlfriend's voice or some other crazy chick. He's like, you know, that he last, you know, I shouldn't, maybe his last girlfriend wasn't crazy. I don't know. But

maybe, you know what I'm saying? If he did date a crazy chick, maybe he's, you know, all of a sudden he goes to that place and he's reading in your voice doesn't even know who you are so you need to like bring invite some familiarity with this person you're going to sext with it's face time with them talk on the phone get to know each other because they're you're the main problem here you're leaving open too much room for interpretation and miscommunication that's the real takeaway from this the not all guys are in a nipple sucking fine whatever you know that's more niche you know but you're right i agree with you because even if you're like you know not every guy i say might not be into like you sucking on his toes but a lot of guys might be i don't know right so

like if you guys were sexting as you were saying saying, then you throw a little like, hey, I want to suck on that big old toe of yours. And he's just, well, he's the one who said he's down for everything. That's what I'm saying is you don't, he said one thing, you don't know who this guy is, you've never talked to him. And then you just made a ton of assumptions. And sometimes we say things we don't totally mean, we don't realize what we're saying. We say it and we mean what we say, but we don't know how other people are going to interpret it. And we leave so much room for interpretation when we only have texted. You know?

So that's all. So suggest a FaceTime. Where did you last leave it with this guy? When what? Where did you last leave it with this guy? When what? Where did you last leave it with this guy? Are we still texting with him? No, I'm just texting with him. No, yeah, but you are.

That's still, the text is still going on. Oh, yeah, like today. Why don't you be like, hey, why haven't you guys FaceTimed? I don't understand. Usually the guy asks to Face on sales. I was hoping he would ask me well he hasn't yet so you should i don't think it matters no i i don't understand why women wait for that is it nice i think it's so not important who asks to facetime yeah Yeah. Like, yeah. Especially if now you're in the sexing part of the relationship.

Like, hey, you want to FaceTime? Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's have a, like, you know. You've seen his picture. You met on a dating app, I presume? Yes. Gotcha. Are you worried he's not real?

No, I think he's real. Well, find out. Yeah. But yeah, and I get it weird to be doing that with someone you haven't met. I don't think it's weird. You're not getting any judgment from me. I just think you're opening up too many doors for miscommunication.

Right. Because you're right. It just pisses me off kind of that he embarrassed me like that after all the things he said to me that are so much more extreme than that. And I just made a simple little, yeah. But again, yeah.

Because like a guy might be like, I want to, I don't know. I don't know what he said. And I can only imagine. And, and probably a hundred percent of the guys who heard it would be like, yep,

no, I'd be into that. But the nipple thing is more niche. Right. And he, yes, he handled it poorly, but like, you're getting mad about a guy you've never spoken with

even on the phone. Yeah. You both went a little too fast with the texting, you know, before you, you know, you have some catching up to do in other aspects, like knowing their personality and how they communicate and how they sound, you know? True.

And especially text because it's, it's a little weird that you're only texting, sexting. It is a little weird. And again, no judgment, but FaceTime. I'm really curious if he says yes.

If he doesn't say yes, you should immediately stop talking to him. You're curious if I ask him to FaceTime if he would say yes? If he has some excuse, be like, oh, I can't right now. And then never follows up. He avoids it. If he avoids it, you avoids it you should immediately just stop talking yeah i'm supposed to meet him next week like in one week okay well facetime before i know i'm just saying i can't imagine all the pressure you guys you've sex you said all this

shit and then you haven't even like you need i think you need a soft open. I know. It's kind of crazy. So just like just a FaceTime. Yeah. And small red flag in how he communicates. He made you feel bad, right, for something that, you know, I get why he's not into it. But also you got a little, like I'm reading, like I've never had that done.

He thought you were kidding. That's fine. He's not into it. The kind of strange one, kind of a strange one. I don't know. You know, he's just a little immature. That's a little immature. He didn't need to say that. I'm just, you know, it's not.

All he could have said is like, that particular thing, not my thing. That's what he should have said. Yeah, not my thing. Even though I'm into everything. Or I'll try anything. He made you feel like you were the weird one for just not liking something that you're right someone could like it's not that crazy and i've he said something to me that i said no to and all i did was a shocked emoji face and he got it either way yes he handled it poorly uh you guys are not communicating effectively stop texting with someone about nipple sucking and anal i know it's ridiculous that's the big takeaway here okay yes okay all right best of luck. Thanks. Yeah. And stop waiting for guys to make every first move on the online dating.

Yeah. That's just kind of what I do. I know. It's good that they make definitely, you know, I get you wanting to take the initiative. They don't have to take all the initiative. Yeah. And I think it's good for women to take some of the initiative because what that does is shows that you're willing to set your boundaries

and what you like and you're not afraid to say what you like. I think those are early things that are good to let them know in the relationship that you're not just going to sit around and wait for them to make all the moves. Yeah. So, all right. All right. Thank you. All right. Take care. Bye. How's it going? Doing well. How are you? Good. What's your name? I'm Sam. I'm 26 and I'm from New York City. Nice to meet you. How can I help? Um, so I'm coming to you with kind of like a mental block problem. Um, quite literally, I have a lot of mental health issues and I've let them get in the way of a lot of my relationships. Um, I guess I'll get into it from the beginning. When I was 19,

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. And while those symptoms haven't really gotten in the way of my relationships, I've sort of let them get in the way of me reaching out to guys. And so I guess i'm looking for advice on how to not let that happen um and how to sort of not let insecurities about how you might come off to somebody else as like an unlovable kind of person um get in the way yeah. Well, I want to be careful because obviously I'm not any sort of doctor or expert. I know very, I almost know nothing about bipolar syndrome other than the stuff that's kind of what's supposed to be like common knowledge. And even that, I don't know how accurate that is, but sure sure we all have things that we're insecure about right i guess some more serious than others

and if i'm hearing you right it sounds like you don't feel like um your diagnosis the actual you being bipolar has actually affected any of the relationships you've had so far but the fear of it is what does is am i hearing you right right right stops you from even even getting into relationships out of fear that it could yeah exactly have you been in you've had other relationships yes have you been in any relationship yeah so my relationship history has been pretty stunted um the last relationship i was in was pretty short and i was like 21 okay um and it was three or four months um and we cut it off pretty abruptly it was just like some issues with him um that he had to figure out and prior to that i

had like a six-month relationship and prior to that i had a pretty short like rather abusive relationship okay so they were earlier on handful of relationships all of which that ended none of which had anything to do with the thing that you're most insecure about yeah okay so this is something i would focus on if i were you you know is this kind of a you know when things that i get anxiety about and stress out about and and makeup in my head you know i try to look at the facts that I have to work with. And sometimes those help me that that might help you. Right. Knowing that like, and that's not to say that, you know, you being bipolar at some point in a relationship could have a role in your relationship. Right. But what you know now is that there's, as you know,

that there's a lot of other things that can affect a relationship too, right? So there's all these relationships out there. Everyone has things that affect a relationship. And there's all different sorts of problems, you know, mental health, anxiety, other health conditions that people have to face, money, job, general happiness, you know, bad role models of how they treat their partners and things like that. So just be mindful of that.

And when you start dating, try to just, I know this can be a serious thing, but at the same time, like I said, a lot of people have other problems and these other problems that people have, or a lot of times people aren't even aware of their problems. And sometimes ignorance is bliss. You know, the asshole boyfriend who is a gaslighting son of a bitch, he usually doesn't go on a first date and be like, Hey, just so you know, I'm a gaslighting son of a bitch. The girlfriend just finds out later in life, you know? Um, and I'm, you know, like not a goodlighting son of a bitch. The girlfriend just finds out later in life. And I'm, you know, like not a good thing that he doesn't bring that up.

But like, you know what I'm saying? Like if he would do that, that would hurt his chances of never finding a girlfriend. Women would just be like, well, then I'm not going to date you. Right? Some people would want to change them. You know, they'd find a move. Right. I guess what I'm saying that is like you don't need a lead with that. don't need to bring it up you know on a first or second date you know um

you have a like your life other outside of relationships or how's that it's pretty good um it's pretty balanced it's kind of work heavy um but other than that um it's pretty much the normal life of like a mid-20s person in yeah yeah metropolitan area that's what i'm saying right so like you know your life is you know despite what you have to deal with it is relatively normal you know know, with doing normal things, functioning member of society. Right. So like lead with that, you know. Right. So that's what I would just try to focus on. Right.

And I know that can be easier said than done. And while I someone who can relate to anxiety, I'm really good at thinking of problems that don't exist. I like getting ahead of it. Even if it's like not even possible, that can happen. So I'm sure you're working on that. Right. I'm sure it's something you're being mindful of,

but like just give it a shot. Try, you know, I mean, I think you just need to really, what you need to do is challenge yourself to get out there and date. Yeah. Try to face those fears because like the sitting on the sideline and avoiding any possibility so that you don't hurt yourself or someone else is you don't have to be bipolar to be hurt in a relationship or hurt someone in a relationship. People do it all the

time without dealing with what you're dealing with. You know what I'm saying? So if that does happen to you, then it happens. And there's a good chance the first person you date next, it's not going to work out. Either you'll hurt them or they'll hurt you some way. And there's a good chance, as your own stats will say, and that may have nothing to do with you being bipolar. And if it does, then it does. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. I think something that I run into and that some of my peers run into who deal with mental health issues is that we always feel like we can't put like our full selves forward. Like, I think there's always this thing. It's like, oh, I want to put my full self forward. Like I want to put all of me forward. And it's like, well, I don't even know if everybody puts their full selves forward. You know? Well, that's kind of my point right it's just like yeah i i and i hope i am in no way saying like i don't know what it's like to be bipolar so i don't know right and i don't

and i'm sure you there's a lot of things you have to go through and deal with that i i can't relate to on the flip side like i don't want you to feel like you're not normal like again you're doing normal things you have a you're a normal functioning member and like to your point everyone whether they have bipolar or not their biggest challenge in most relationships is being their truest self it's a hard like people always like what are you looking for with someone i want someone to make me a better person no people just want to find someone that they can feel like they can be their truest self and still love that person and feel loved back and not feel judged. That's everyone. That's not just people who suffer from

a mental disorder, right? So you're not alone there either, right? And just like everyone else, like that comes with time. You're not going to figure that out on a first few dates. You might not figure that out in the first six months or a year until you feel comfortable enough with someone to even try to be your truest self and then see if they accept that. You don't have to be bipolar to be the worst version of yourself and have someone who's your partner, who you love and trust, work with you there,

to accept you for your faults. You know, that's relationship. That's love. To like not always be 100%, to face a problem and then work through it. Yeah. Now, based on listening to your previous episodes, I think I know what you're going to say,

but based on your experience with your own anxieties, when do you think is the right time to say you're dating someone? Come out and be like, you know, sometimes I really struggle with this. I mean, listen, I don't think there's any wrong answer. I wouldn't do it on the first date. But who knows? There's exceptions to every rule. You might just have an awesome first date and you're just talking and this person like,

is this like you guys are just opening up. Sometimes you have dates where you're just like, you know what, fuck it. We're just going to talk about everything. And maybe it just feels natural. There's no wrong answer, right? You just kind of go with it. I think there's a difference between,

is it okay if you ever say it? Sure. There's a difference between that and saying, well, you need to say this on the first date right now sometimes i think the only exception to that is it's like like if you have uh you know i mean there really is no exception but like if you it's like it's more like what you're not negotiables right so like here you are you're like afraid if someone might accept you or not accept you for something you have to deal with right and and and single moms or single dads might feel that same thing well i have a kid they might you don't have to bring up that you have a kid but if you have a

non-negotiable as a parent saying i don't want someone who's not who has an issue with that i don't want i want to beat meet someone who on our first date knows I have a kid and likes that about me. Okay. Well then bring it up on our first date. Right. It's a little different, you know, with, with, uh, because, you know, having a kid is like, it's just a thing, you know, there's not a lot of unknowns and questions. Like the average person who isn't familiar with what you have to go with, probably it has a lot to learn about what it means to be bipolar, right? And there's probably a lot of ignorance around that topic. And there's probably a lot of things that you can shed some

light on, right? So whenever that comes up, there's usually like a follow-up conversation that you're going to have to have, right? That you should have to have. Right. You know, very different. But the analogy is it's like anytime I meet someone and it's like, well, you're on The Bachelor. I have to have a conversation because there's a lot of assumptions and ignorance and, you know, a lot of confusion. So it's like, all right, let's talk about it.

Like, here's what it's like, you know? And that's something I'm just like, I don't want to fucking deal with it. But I have to deal with it, right? Yeah. I know it's, you don't want to fucking deal with it. But I have to deal with it, right? Yeah. I know it's, you know. But the same thought applies. So whatever you want, there's no wrong answer, I guess,

is the answer to my question. Just take it easy on yourself, you know? Yeah. And I just think right now that's the last thing you should try to worry about. Because that's the first thing you should try to worry about because that's what the first thing you're worrying about is like he meets someone on a dating app when do i tell him you know like you don't even know if you're gonna meet up you're just like oh i match with a guy when should i tell him like well you know that's probably the first thing that comes to mind, but why don't you just worry about like, yeah. Why don't you just think about like,

if you, if you like him enough to go on a date with him and then why don't you think about, do you like him enough to go on a second date with him and a third date? And do you like him enough that he is worth your time to have a conversation with him about this very personal issue that you don't have to have with everyone. It's not your job to educate the world on what it's like to be bipolar and how to date someone.

You only have to do that with people you want to invest your time in. And so you can be very selective about that. So think of it that way. Qualify them before you worry about having to qualify yourself to someone else. Right. Right. Yeah, no, that that's so true so that's good advice and that's again you don't have to be bipolar to like take that advice right no exactly yeah that's like the point yeah yeah no that's good take it easy on yourself you know okay yeah i'm sure it must be a challenge at times to have to deal with uh being bipolar but when you're not dealing with it just enjoy life

i know that's easier said than done yeah i uh um but you're working you're doing your thing you know yeah sorry you deserve to have a chance to meet people and then break up with them for all sorts of different reasons right yeah that's really good advice so thank you I knew you would have

good advice I wanted to get your two cents on it and you'll find someone who who is willing and able and capable and deserving of being with you and and help you through it you know yeah yeah and i think that like applies to anyone without obviously like you said like any issue or any circumstance or any like mental like setback so yeah and it doesn't

have to be a mental setback sometimes, too. Right. Yeah. Could be all sorts of things. Someone maybe had a previous eating disorder. Maybe someone who was a victim of a childhood trauma. There's a lot. I'm not trying to take anything away from you.

I'm just saying in your case, you're just like, oh, this is the worst. No one's going to want to do this and no one's going to want to deal with people deal with all sorts of things in relationships, you know? So let them deal with, you know, join the club, you know,

join the conversation. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Totally. All right. All right. All right.

Well, thanks for calling in. All right. Well, thanks so much, Nick. All right. Take care. for calling him all right well thanks so much all right all right you too bye-bye how's it going good thanks how are you doing good what's your name my name is kelly and i am 25 years old great how can i help so i've been single now for over a year and i've been on the apps now. And with everything because of COVID, it's been really difficult to do online dating. And I started my master's in September and I was randomly paired up with this guy for a group project.

And throughout the project, we were texting just kind of about school and things. But the project's been over now for about a month and we've still been texting every single day and we text like paragraphs a day all the time. But he hasn't really made any plans to get together and hasn't really mentioned anything. There's been some instances where he's said, oh, maybe we can get coffee when we go back to school, but we likely won't be actually going in person for at least another year. And by that time, we'll both be graduated from the program. And he doesn't live far from me at all. And we followed each other on social media a couple of weeks ago. does have a picture of a girl that was posted in 2018, which I understand is super old,

but he also only has one other picture that's posted recently. So I'm not too sure if they're broken up, but the texts are quite flirty based on what my friends think. But I just think it's a bit weird that he hasn't ever really made an effort to talk in person or meet in person, I guess. Maybe he thinks it's weird that you haven't either i don't know i yeah i don't know if i should like shoot my shot and go for it or if he's just not really interested and i'm just i i i feel like i speak for most guys when i say

they just aren't that interested in texting pages or paragraphs as you say to people they aren't that interested in texting pages or paragraphs, as you say, to people they aren't that interested in. Yeah, that's what I think too. I think that's more important than when you like, or your friends are analyzing the text, whatever it's, whatever, whatever he's saying in debating whether it's flirty or not, just the fact that he's doing it is flirty. I don't text with people like ongoing. You know what I'm saying? Like,

I'll respond to people like, you know, hey, do you need something like I hate texting. But if I have like a back and forth, especially, you know, like, it's like, I'm thinking of exceptions, right? Like, well, I had my friend Emma on, right? And we talked about voice notes. But we knew. We also talked about relationships that we're in or not in. You know what I'm saying? We understood the relationship, and the relationship was a platonic friendship. You know what I'm saying?

There are boundaries that are aware of that were set, and there was no confusion, right? boundaries that are aware of that were set and there was no confusion right had we not i had either of us not like set those or they weren't so obvious then one of us might wonder like why why is this person investing so much time and talking with me yeah so do you think i should just ask him to hang out yeah why not what do you have to lose what you have to lose is small embarrassment or your ego being a little bruise if you don't get the answer you want that's it's all yeah yeah i think i'm just scared that he does have a girlfriend but i think also well then if he has a

girlfriend that will be the easiest rejection that you can get and then you'll be oh you know made aware of a guy who's inappropriately talking to you while he has a girlfriend because i bet she'd be pissed how much he's investing in you that's true well we have class tonight so i feel like we usually text during it so you text during class yeah oh like a zoom class yeah sorry, sorry. Everything's over Zoom. I don't know what the regulations are there, but where I'm from, we can go out for patio drinks and things like that. So we definitely have the opportunity to meet in person, but just because everything's been online for us,

it's just been kind of a different experience, I guess. So just do this. When you're texting in texting class out of nowhere, just be like, what are you and your girlfriend up to this weekend? And he'll be like, I don't have a girlfriend. Be like,

oh, cool. Then we should have grabbed some food, you know, something like that. But that way, if, if he says,

oh, then he's, if he says he has a girlfriend, how'd you know I have a girlfriend? Then you just know not to like go there, just throw it out there it's okay just say it like hey what are you and your girlfriend up to this weekend oh i guess what and then play it off like if he does have a girlfriend you know then whatever but that if he doesn't have a girlfriend if he doesn't have a girlfriend, if he doesn't have a girlfriend, then yeah.

You know, then be like, great, let's get together this weekend. Okay. Okay. I'm going to do it. I think I just needed someone to tell me to do it.

Great. That's all. That's all you need to do. Okay. Thank you very much. Best of luck. Yeah. Uh,

I think you shoot your shot and maybe if you. And if he has a girlfriend, then he... Rest in peace to the ego. Yeah. I don't know. He's got a girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know.

You're right. I think I just... Again, I don't know what he's saying in these texts. You know, like I'm thinking like I was in this, uh, virtual kind of class, right? Not too long ago. And there were people in this class I like warmed up to, and there were people in this class I couldn't stand.

Right. And one of them was a guy, one of them was a girl and me and this girl would text. I don't think it wasn't like, you know, during class, cause it was was like via zoom so we were like commenting on other people in class nothing mean but observations that we were making but i don't think there was any like also yeah i'm thinking out loud like i knew she was dating this guy you know what i'm saying it wasn't that and and it was like during class like you're you're texting with this guy during class and like throughout all hours of the day yeah it's been like a month since this like initial project finished and now we just like talk about like everything it doesn't relate to the and it has nothing to do with just during class or anything like that

yeah no it's like gone way past that like i feel like even though i haven't actually met him in person like i i know him very well but you haven't met him in person the fact that he has i haven't no oh this is all over like zoom but you know what he looks like because you guys are all like yeah zoom class yeah i know what he looks like from like seeing his video over zoom but and you like that zoom's never flattering yeah yeah that's what you do text them well i'll definitely just be like hey what are you and your girlfriend sorry yeah just text him and ask him what him and his girlfriend are doing this weekend see what he says whether he either does or doesn't have a girlfriend and if he doesn't be like great let's

get together okay okay well i'll have to thank you for the relationship if it works out. Great. And if not, you know, then be like, you shouldn't stop. You know, this, if he does have a girlfriend and then, you know, then he doesn't like her, but then that's okay. I've actually met him in person, so it won't be too, uh, yeah. Yeah. That's not much of a rejection for being rejected by someone who has a girlfriend you've never met. in person so it won't be too yeah yeah that's not much of a rejection for being rejected by someone who has a girlfriend you've never met I think you'll be fine yeah all right thank you very much best of luck

thank you I appreciate it have a great rest of your day bye wow that was great send me your questions at asknickatcastme.com is that it thanks for listening guys we will see you tomorrow