The Viall Files - E22 Leaps of Faith with Ginger Zee

Episode Date: May 29, 2019

Ginger Zee, Chief Meteorologist at ABC News and NYT bestselling author, joins me today to talk about leaps of faith. Ginger and I both come from the Midwest, both come from big families, and both took some big chances in order to chase our dreams. You might just say we’re soul twins. We talk about finding your “person,” we discuss that painful (in more ways than one) third episode of The Bachelorette, and we take a call from a fan who wants to help her husband feel sexier. We’re all a little bit of a “Natural Disaster.” The most important thing is being honest with yourself. SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: NOOM: http://www.noom.com/VIALL COVE: http://www.withcove.com/VIALL CARE/OF: http://www.takecareof.com promo code: VIALL30 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I wish I could pull that off. I can't see it. Can I pull it off? I think you should try this on later. I think it would look great on you. For those of you who are just listening, A, you shouldn't be. You should also watch this on YouTube.

Yeah, double up. Do you want? Also, not and. Yeah, double. Double up. Double up. First download and then watch. this on YouTube. Yeah, double up. Also, not aunt. Yeah, double. Double up. First download and then

watch. Yeah, for sure. And I want to say that also because our guest today, your guest, the guest is gorgeous. Oh, yeah. And you will be missing out if you don't actually see the visual of these beautiful legs that are coming onto the show. I'm trying to focus. And these beautiful eyes. We're just gonna

call it out. Who's our guest? Ginger Z. Trying to focus. And these beautiful eyes. We're just gonna call it out. Who's our guest? Ginger Z. The meteorologist. Don't you dare, per her book. Do not. Do not. Call her a weather girl. Call her a weather girl.

From Good Morning America. A good friend, a dear friend. Soul twin, in my opinion. But before we get to Ginger, always some house cleaning notes. We need your questions for the podcast. So email us at asknickatcastmedia.com. Yeah, you know, the more interesting and honest

and maybe depressing and fun, you know, the more fun our show is. So we really need you to step up yeah people out there are 10 percenters yeah you men out there we enjoy your stories and i think the women listening really enjoy your perspective for sure on that note i would like to call out nate nate if you're listening call us back yeah we'd love an update i really want some women have been oh yes yes we want to hook. Some women have been DMing saying, we want to hook him up with our friend. Come on, really?

Yes, yes. That's happened. So should we follow up with Nate and ask if he wants us to give out his information? I'll do that this week. Oh, this is exciting. Anyways, before we get to Ginger Z, I need to vent a little bit about the world and people.

Yeah, we went out into the world why are people sometimes what why do people choose to be so miserable well i mean you would know i'm just kidding we gotta tell what happened but this was last night we we ran into and i went to go see the movie book smart for those of you who haven't seen it do yourself a favor yeah go see it it's a fun light-hearted comedy very smart it's directed by olivia wilde wonderful olivia wilde movie about women with women the lead performances are phenomenal and just a lot of great acting in it a lot of fun so anyways sugar and i go to the movie it's a couple friends night before a podcast talking about like what we're going to talk about. And we go. And it's a new movie, opening weekend.

And so we were going to go to what, the 630? 630. We show up. Show up. There's no seats available. Just singles. You didn't buy tickets ahead of time? We didn't.

We didn't. First mistake. Rookie mistake. First mistake. But you know what? It's an early movie. So they're playing movies every 45 minutes. So those 715-ish 15 ish like shook let's

we'll get a beer no no big deal it's great fine and we we look up to six 7 15 and sure as shit it's also packed oh man there's no like two seats next to each other which congratulations olivia wilds because people filled that theater which is wonderful but so we had to choose two singles that were close enough. Well, first we panicked. We did. We panicked. We're like, oh, what are we going to do?

We've really committed. Nick cried a little and I calmed him down. Go on. And then we saw two seats that were outside of a pair, right? So you had, and we thought to ourselves, silly us. We've overthought this. Of course, we'll just get these seats. And like the two people in those seats, we'll just slide down. Yeah overthought this of course we'll just get these seats and like the two

people in those seats we'll just slide down yeah like yeah of course yeah of course it's such an easy prop we've fought as long as you have them slide to the better seat whatever direction they want i don't care you would you slide yeah wherever they want to go but whatever they want yeah so we're drinking our beer we're like this is gonna be great we're like imagine if they if they said no imagine if they said no wouldn't that be fun i almost want them to say no the the kind of snarky troublemaker in me wants the person to say no and i said if they say no we are definitely sharing a popcorn soda and we're just gonna pass it back and forth and keep asking them if they want to see you know oh we had a whole bit we're laughing laughing going but of course it's not gonna

happen we live in a reasonable world. Well, I think we all know what happened. We really do. So we go up. We've really given away the lead. We jumped the shark, but it's okay. No, there's more. But it's how it all goes down.

Okay. And we go up and it's two young ladies. And Shug goes, oh, well, they're... The plan was for me to say it because I'm very disarming so me going in being like excuse me hi would you mind if we it works every time is your charm yes very it's you know and i'm yeah if i ask you you're gonna move i think but then we see that it's two women and i like pulling out the face card with nick when i think that it's it's gonna help us like go go go you're a boy go you're You're that handsome bachelor person.

They'll probably know who you are. So I'm like, you go, you go. Last minute bad call decision because they were furious. I was just like, hey, I'm sorry. Like me and my friend, we have these seats and would you be so kind as if we moving in just one, and they looked at each other, looked at us and just scowled and just go, sure.

So they did. So they did, but it was like- Closer into the center. Closer. They had a, not even debatable, a better seat. Weird. It's not as if they chose the aisle seat. They were already in the middle one way or the other.

Can I add something? Sure. I saw Booksmart also by myself and someone was sitting in my seat and I saw he was sitting next to a couple. He goes, oh, my seat's down there at the very end of the row. And I was like, okay. And I did it for him and I didn't make a big deal. There you go, because you're a normal

human being. Because you're a normal person. Without hell of fire in your heart. But then I mean, it really does get worse. It gets worse. It does. So then it's the beginning of the movie on the previews. I get a text from her friend. First, I open up my phone.

I turn the brightness all the way down to zero. So like it's not like you can't see it. And I'm getting a couple texts. I'm, hey, I'm at the movies. I'll have to text you afterwards. About to turn off my phone. She'll ask me a question. And all of a sudden the girl right next to me who had just

moved, like, it's like, it's not bright at all. She goes, can you not shine your phone in my face? And I was just like, she and I look at each other bright eyes. I'm like, what? Huh? I literally was shocked. And I'm just like, yeah. And she goes, we can take our seats back. I know. And I go, at this point, I'm like, whatever you want. Like, sure. What is this? Like, what are you going to get the 15-year-old working the concession to come and like drag

us out of our seats? Or by the way, I would love for you to take your seats back because we'll go back to plan A. Wait, how old? Can I ask how old they were? I would say that one was probably 30s. The other one was, we decided that the one sitting beside Nick, who was very, very spitting fire at you,

we decided that she was peacocking for her young girlfriend and that they wanted nothing to do with this creature sitting beside me right here. And that his charm ricocheted off of them. Very, very, very hard. So anyways, I'm just like, it was like a weird energy of the first 15 minutes. That's too bad. And that kind of sucked.

But I'm kind of like thinking to myself, you know what? Who knows? Who knows what situation? Right. Maybe they're just passionate about this movie. Maybe their friend is an extra in the movie or I don't know. And they're just like so into it. They never get out.

And they never get out. Who knows? Who knows? movie or I don't know. And they're just like so- They never get out. And they never get out. Who knows? Who knows? Whatever, I let it go. Oh no, there's more? An hour into the movie. Isn't that an interesting story, people listening? Because we were blown away.

An hour into this movie, Mrs. Don't Shine the Phone in My Face because I need to enjoy this movie experience and again it wasn't as if this was going on for the first 10 minutes of the movie the movie hadn't even started yet she gets up and she you know I presume goes to the bathroom hey listen

at least for me I really have to go if I'm gonna get up and miss a movie I mean I'll hold it but you know what who am I to judge she had to go to the bathroom when you gotta go you gotta go I will take a shit in the middle of a movie if I'm going to get up and miss a movie. I mean, I'll hold it. But you know what? Who am I to judge? She had to go to the bathroom. When you got to go, you got to go. I will take a shit in the middle of a movie if I have to. You do what you have to do.

Okay. Sorry. You got to do what you got to do. Just to clarify. So I'm like, I kind of roll my eyes. I'm like, you know what? Whatever. But clearly you don't care about the movie that much to be so ticked off.

But, you know, I assume she's going to the bathroom. 15 minutes go by. 20 minutes go by. I'm actually constantly like, where is this chick who's so passionately needed to see this movie? She comes back with two glasses of wine and just like, I'm thinking, wait, this, you had to leave and you'll get your drink on like in mid 20 minutes of the movie. And you had to yell at me. And it was so you're so offended to move seats just because what just we just politely thought maybe hey do you guys mind not like what did you

really what did you pick these seats because you were hoping no two people would like sit next to you'd have all this space and a sold i don't know it was just i was so disappointed in humanity but she was following the rules of the theater because you're allowed to do this stuff you're not allowed to be on your phone you're not allowed to sit where i'm just saying the rule maybe she's a rule follower that's actually a very good point we did break so that's it so if if someone is breaking the rules of what like the theater you're allowed but you're right we're asking her to be to you know yeah to let us bend the rules and we asked a favor and you know she was allowed to say no

she was in all of her rights yeah she was we couldn't nobody could call the cops on anybody i have her on the show i find oh they're dating now nick got her number we had the best makeup sacks. I usually find that the simple favors, like easy favors for anyone, like are great when usually you get asked. And they're actually very important. Someone's like, hey, can you do this like favor for me? And you're like, wait, I have to move over? No problem.

I'll do that for you. I'm the hero. Yeah, you feel like such a, yeah, I'm a nice guy. Of course, you know what? And then you did that. I'm sure like you didn't feel like a hero, a nice guy of course you know what and you did that i'm sure like you didn't feel like a hero but it was like you know what i didn't i was a little upset i was so far over but i got over it you know man it's just the life's too short to sweat that stuff but our conversation after was how important it is for those little kindnesses

and to not you know to to try not to spit fire at each other. Yeah, let's spill it. Let's not. Oh, mind you, I was actually trying to. Look, he couldn't sleep, as you can tell. Well, I had my phone out because I forgot to mention this. I was actually trying to like record the intro because I wanted to promote it just for Olivia

Wilde, just because like, you know, here's a really cool movie. Another rule broken. Yeah. Yeah, well, I didn't. really cool movie. Another rule broken. Yeah. Yeah, well, well, I didn't. Nick thinks he's above the law. I did it at the end of the movie and the movie's Instagram

liked it and thanked me. So whatever. No, I think it was great. I'm just saying like, I just don't get why people do that. So next time like you're at the movies and someone asks you a simple favor, you can make someone's day

by just being cool. Or say, hey, I'd prefer not, I'd prefer not to move actually. And we would have said like, okay, sure. Now, had they said that we would have, we would have had some fun with them. Who does that? Yeah, I like the message. Let's all be a little nicer.

Follow the rules. Speaking of being a little nicer, a lot of things happened on The Bachelor show. Yeah. Bachelorette show i can't wait to talk about it i'm so excited well we're gonna take a heater i just need to get that off my chest it was very important and i think we're you know we got to a good point at the end could we spread love could we just be nicer yeah i would it ruined the first 15 minutes it was a weird energy like we're just because i'm like we're back on it again i was just dumbfounded be nicer people anyways we're gonna take a quick break and then we're gonna talk to ginger hi ginger well hi nick thanks for coming thanks for having me ginger flew here just to be on this podcast i did i was like you

know what it's memorial day this is what i want to do with my life and then because she had some free time and she was in la she decided to also interview the ceo of disney that's right so we thank her for taking the time to come here you know bob i'm gonna be uh on a podcast called the vial files and and I just was wondering I have a few minutes for you yeah and he's definitely

heard of our podcast if you can move some things around I will interview you you're gonna take the top spot in my insta story that I'll tell you

right now over the Iger picture yeah but thank you I'm just going on numbers like what's gonna do well that's true I mean

I don't know what Bob's engagement's like but but thank you for coming and taking the time. Ginger Z, for those of you who don't know Ginger, is an author of Natural Disaster. She is a wonderful dancer and second runner up on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, I always say, I think finale. I made it to the finale. It sounds better. Second runner up.

All right. And she is the meteorologist for Good Morning America, as well as what, you also do a lot of stuff for Good Morning America. Yes. To say you're just a meteorologist, and that would be wonderful in of itself, but you do so much more.

I'm like, Ginger's doing this, and Ginger's doing that. And Ginger, I got to know her through my time as The Bachelor and going to Good Morning America and really the whole just group

at Good Morning America. I will say as someone who, you know, came, you know, from just like Chicago and the Midwest

where Ginger's also from, you know, it's very intimidating. Oh, you're going to be in Good Morning America and it's very, ooh,

and you're like, you've seen of all these people. What a pleasant group of people. You guys really are super nice and welcoming and you don't necessarily need to be. Thank you. I think so. I just want to say that. In general, it's a pretty good group.

But I will say, and this is what I was telling Michelle earlier, I get to meet and interview all of the bachelors. I've had that unique opportunity, which not a lot of people do. Is that something you requested? No. It just kind of fell on me because anyway. And then. Ginger, you look like you could be on this show.

Why don't you do it? It may or may not have had to do with Rob Mills. Yes. Yeah. But I will say that I have interviewed all of them and I never connected or wanted to talk to one of them again except you oh really yeah that means a lot yeah and I didn't know what the feeling was at first I'm like wait is it just because he's hot no a lot of them are hot hold on let me let me work this out in myself a lot of them are hot yeah but it's different I have like

a thing I feel like I've I maybe it's because we're both from, you're from Wisconsin, I'm from Michigan. We kind of have the Great Lakes thing, big families. Yeah, but I mean, Ben's from Indiana and Colton's from Denver.

Yeah. No one likes our anyways. No. Oh, no. Was it love? No, it's, but it's like a, it's a connection of,

I don't know. I don't want to say, magnet doesn't sound right. That sounds like love, but I don't. Yeah, like a, like an understanding. Yeah. I don't know. Does that make sense? magnet doesn't sound right that sounds like love but i don't yeah like a like an understanding i don't know does that make sense what did you call it rochelle soul twins yeah yeah because that doesn't have to include that that's right well i mean i listen i listened to your book on audible. Because I don't know how to read well.

I'm not. I'm slow. If I read your book traditionally, I would be on the intro. You just need to practice. I want to take a dyslexia test. I'm convinced I'm dyslexic. But obviously, you're more artistic because not many people can paint the way that you do. Not many people can. I have been accused of being on the spectrum as well. Okay. All right. Well, I'm not going to go there.

Aren't we all? Anyway, so you were talking about how great I was. Yeah. But you did. You stood out. And I remember thinking, okay, there's something, right? There's just certain people that you connect with, and that was you. So I'm so glad to be here because of that. Well, thank you again. I'm very excited to have you. And I will say, like, I've always felt that about you. And reading your book, you talk a lot. I mean, my similarities, the similarities I connected with your book, again, where you come from, the Midwest, and growing up in a kind of a similar atmosphere. And, you know, for all the people, the Midwest childhood is great.

You know, people, I'm proud to be from the Midwest. We get a lot of the compliments of the people from the Midwest, and rightfully so. They're so pleasant. But I guess I always thought, too, where it's just like I always felt like growing up that this wasn't the place I should spend my life. And every time, and it was hard for me to take that leap. And then when I did, it always felt like, I don't know how you felt, but it was like, why did I wait this long to do this? And every step being so in my life, even that place felt small to me. And I always wanted more.

And I've always been attracted to like a big city that way. And I love the adventure of it all. And you talked a lot about that in your book. And it was I related to that as well. Like I love the goats and chickens that I grew up with and all. But there was something about me that just didn't fit. And I felt that the whole way as well. And I think that's, I don't know, there are some people who can live that way.

And in my book, I talk about almost getting married. And I think he would have been a wonderful person to be married to if I had wanted that. If I had wanted that, not just in the time in my life, but to want to stay in West Michigan, to want to be there and live that. I admire part of it because it's such simplicity in a way. You know, like you're not constantly yearning. I'm sure you're like me where even you're now in LA

and you're probably like, all right, you could even go bigger. Like where's next? Where are we going? Tokyo? Like what's happening? I'm curious in talking about that and as much as I like that I'm that way

because I think it's played into some of the success in life that I've had. The downside of it is, and I don't know how you feel this way, sometimes I just never feel settled or happy. Because I never feel like I've never, I can always find a reason why it's not good enough. But you're always gonna feel that way. Because that's who you are.

Yeah, I feel like that's, yeah. Yeah, and then through life, and I didn't think I'd ever, I was said when I got here to Rochelle, I can't believe I have two children. Like, I really can't believe it. Because if you would have asked me five years ago, I would have said, yeah, okay. Because you never had the maternal instinct? No, no, no. I think I just, I was so focused on my career.

I never thought with my horrific dating past, I never thought that it was going to end up happening. I just didn't think I'd find somebody who I could, because I always thought I wanted more or better or bigger or whatever it was. I didn't think I'd ever click. Did you think you always wanted more or better and better in your dating life? Did that play, was that specific to the men you were dating or did that, does that make sense? Every time I i was with someone and and this is terrible to say but i was always looking i was always always shopping really and i don't know if that was the insecurity of not seeing a future with some of them were just horrible choices from the front i mean duh that wasn't gonna work um but

a lot of it was just because i wasn't ready. And that was a big calling card of not being ready, but just always on the scan, and always wondering what's the next one. And often thinking, I wish I could just put together a little bit of that one, a little bit of this one, a little bit of that one. It's the perfect man. Yeah. So I can relate to that. Yeah. Wait, so then what happened when you met your husband? Did that story change? He says I settled. you met your husband did that story change he says i settled uh yes no that's a smart play find someone who's ready to settle i had had some like to the point of abusive too like really bad relationships i finally got myself right i finally got mentally set and settled speaking of settled enough so that i still want more i still want the best i still want us to be the best together but i learned how to stop shopping because the shopping had nothing to do with the other guys enough so that I still want more. I still want the best. I still want us to be the best together.

But I learned how to stop shopping because the shopping had nothing to do with the other guys. It had to do with me and what was wrong with me. So now I'm not as broken, not as broken. And my husband just deals with it. We're all a little broken. I mean, so well, before you met your husband, because I'm sweet, but let's get it. I'm more so, well, before you met your husband. Yes. I'm sweet, but let's get,

I'm more curious about, He wants the dirt. I want, you know, what, in terms of, why do you think you, like,

we all have bad taste in people we date. Like, oh, actually, that's not, hold on, backtrack.

This is what I wanted to ask you. Do you believe in fate? That's funny, because I was like, I wonder on this show if I'm going to have a chance, because what I wanted to ask you. Do you believe in fate? That's funny because I was like, I wonder on this show if I'm going to have a chance because I'm going to ask Nick that same. That is, I wanted to ask. Soul twins. Soul twins.

We're so connected. No, I wanted to ask that because I think that there's universal connection, energy, spirituality, all that stuff. Yes. Sure. Yes. Do I think that there's one person for us absolutely not do i think yes and i think that we could have fate with multiple people

so i was listening to your book and you talked about it was a joe you're yeah you're the names are changed so i have to think about it like yeah yeah joe that your your first real love that you were engaged to and called off the wedding ultimately you made what sounds like the right choice for yourself but not believing in fate as i dense don't necessarily don't i believe in choices i believe in free will i believe the ability to make bad choices and the ability to learn from those choices. And so I think you made a great choice. But what do you think would have happened had you not made that choice? And like, is it when you think about, like, I guess what I'm saying is

you could have gotten married. And I think ultimately, I think we both agree that it wasn't right. And ultimately you probably would have ended the relationship eventually, just it would have been a little messier because there would have been a divorce and things like that.

And that strength to kind of do what you did, how much of that ability to take that risk, which I'm assuming in the moment felt like the biggest risk of your life. Ever. Right? Like small town. I just graduated from college. I have this perfect guy. Like the next step in that world is to get engaged and married.

That's just what you do. And so to stray from that is like the fear of judgment, all these things. So your ability to do that, I was curious how much played a role in basically everything that happened going forward, because that was, I just assume that was your first big leap of faith. Yes. That you bet on yourself and it seemed to work out. And this is when I knew this isn't for me. I'm not going to be here forever and I can't be with him.

This isn't. So I knew that about myself. It was the most self-sufficient moment I had had in my 23 years or whatever it was. And I had already felt that way in my career. I had already known and I just knew ahead of time. My relationships, I was always kind of second guessing. I was always making another choice.

Like, wait, I was worried about what other people would think. I mean, I ended this three weeks before the wedding was supposed to happen. You did? Six weeks before I took the invitations out of the actual mailbox. It was really dramatic. No. Crying. With the mailman.

With the mailman. It's illegal. Speaking of rules, totally rule breaker. Sometimes you got gotta bend them yeah yeah that was one of those days anyway they went back out whole story is so you got them and then got them again i brought them to him all in her book yes national disaster brought them to him in the big box and i was like i can't i can't do this yeah and and i mean you talk about devastated you've never seen and he is just one of the sweetest men in America.

How old were you guys at this time? 23 and 24. Yeah. Is he married to someone wonderful and has beautiful babies? He is. And they have two little boys. And they're great. And everybody's great.

You have to watch you do the weather every morning. Awesome. She's probably my biggest fan, I imagine. Right? No, no. I don't think so. You don't talk to him anymore. If you were Shug, he'd still be coming over for Thanksgiving.

Could you imagine? It sounds like he's fine, but could you imagine being like, I'm so sorry, Joe, and you're the sweetest, and I just have to not marry you. But listen, by the way, I'm going to follow my dreams and take some risks. And in about five to seven years, I'm going to be the meteorologist in Good Morning America. I'm going to be a big star. I'm going to be on Dancing with the Stars, by the years, I'm going to be the meteorologist in Good Morning America. I'm going to be a big star. I'm going to be on Dancing with the Stars, by the way. I'm going to be the finalist.

Looking sexy as hell. A lot of people are going to talk about me. I'm sorry. Yeah. Bye. Hey, we're hearing that Joe is happy with his family and he has his kids. And he, I know you guys don't believe in fate,

but that sounds like it was destined. That part was. Leaving. Yes. That was fate. Listen, I agree in terms of, I do think we have paths, right? We have these lives and these opportunities. I think, not to get all spiritual, but we have all these variations of where our lives

can end up. And again, I believe in free will and choices. And we're not destined for one different thing. I definitely believe in the butterfly effect. And we're not destined for one different thing. I definitely believe in the butterfly effect. I think Ginger's ability to trust her gut and take a risk that a lot of people are scared to do. And because I think regret's a real thing.

I also think it's a great motivator. Yes. And so, yeah, I don't know if she was destined to be a weather girl, but I think that was part of her path. Not weather girl. And I think she had to let... Exactly. Meteorologist. See, I was telling you her path. Not weather girl. And I think she had to, exactly. Meteorologist. See, I was telling, don't say weather girl.

The one thing though, I will say is, so I trusted my gut. I went with it. It was a really strong moment personally for me. I beat myself up about that. Talking about,

I mean, you've been thinking about this movie thing, you know, a light in somebody's face for three days. I'm so sorry. I beat myself up about this and hurting him

for so long after that I believe I then abused myself with bad people. How long? Punish yourself. Five years. Isn't it so interesting

that even when the choice, all you really did was tell the truth. You told the truth that was in your heart and we forget to love ourselves enough to know that even if that hurt somebody else it was the right thing to do why where do you think that came from because

like in your book it sounds like you had the support of your family and friends i did what about joe no no well i know you didn't have to but afterwards was he like this is bad for a couple of years he he wouldn't necessarily go away no no it's not that he wouldn't go away. I don't mean that in like a stalker way. I just mean like- He wouldn't forget. Your first love is the hardest to truly end. Like there's always these stages with your first love,

especially if you've had a serious relationship, you break up, but you're like just in the same community. So you hang out, you're mutual friends. And then maybe there's a few hookups, et cetera, et cetera. And luckily I moved to Chicago, but Chicago's only three hours away. It's not that far.

And then boredom sets in. You get lonely. You're questioning like, did I make the right decision? All these, it's so hard. And I get hurt three times very quickly afterward by horrible people. And then I'm like, idiot me.

And then Joe's a little always there waiting. Joe's looking great. Yeah. That first love is so hard to truly get over. Like, I don't, I mean, like out of your life where you're like, it's just not an option. So yeah, it sounds like that. Yes.

And then I just punished myself for many years. And I think then, but then realizing that that's what I was doing. I had to get to that point. So it's like, you just go on this. I was fully on the trough and ridge. That's very meteorological, by the way. I do like how you have the meteorological metaphors

in your yes it is you feel you feel when you're on your way down i feel it now like when i'm on one of those i'm like okay here's where i'm so now i'm nearly 40 years old i can identify that you know it's different in my life whereas then i think i didn't realize that was kind of a down or it was an up but there was a quick. So you were punishing yourself for the decision, but yet did you ever, so did you ever think about like taking that it ever, was it ever positive? I mean,

ultimately it was, but like, I must've given you some courage to do, make other risk choices. Or was that just in your DNA? I also thought I can change anyone. I'm here to, I'm here to make them the right guy.

And that was a big part of my issue. The right guy. Yeah. They're not right yet, but I'm about to make them right. Is that a girl or a guy thing? Because I've never thought I'll make her the right girl. You haven't? No, but I've always thought I can be... You can be the right.

You don't like me? Yeah, Watch this. Watch this. I feel like guys... But you hear that a lot with women who tend to say, well, I'll fix him or I'll change him. I've never thought that about anyone I've dated. Have you thought, I'll change myself to suit them?

Indirectly, sure. Or I'll change myself to... To fit them. Or just to more or less to be what they want. So it was more like self-gratifying and about the ego of, like, I'm going to be the man. And, you know, like, of course, you want to break up with me? No, you don't.

You know, it was more like, I can fix this. You know, I can... It was stubborn and it was, you know, the competitive spirit and I wasn't good at accepting. Yeah. When they were trying to break up with you you're like no i'll change well like i'm in this specific scenario i'm talking about my first my first girlfriend we dated off and on for seven years we both kept breaking up with each other but when we she would break up with me it was always like all right well what do i have to fix now you know kind of like and i'll just do that. It was never, I never asked myself,

is this just not the right situation for me? It was always, well, what do I have to now fix? And that's what I admire so much in your posts about your Insta stories. When you're answering people's questions, you're very definite. You make, but that's probably not how life always has been for you.

You've just taken a long time to learn yeah i mean my ability to do questions nick or answer questions in such a definitive manner is just because i often answer questions the way i wish someone would speak to me in my early 20s and it wouldn't necessarily be easy to hear that's cute. But it would be things I wish I would have thought of. I've spent a lot of energy and time pining over situations that weren't necessarily right for me, but I either was trying to feed my ego or I was over romanticizing a situation. I was being the helpless romantic or whatever it was i just i didn't want to accept and and i had to learn acceptance of a lot of things was a big thing and just being honest with myself about the situation and things i could control and things

i couldn't control and that's what i wanted to bring up if anything is that honesty with yourself that's the thing that my whole what i finally got to and what really changed the way i went into relationships the way i changed and when i went into work that is what I finally got to and what really changed the way I went into relationships, the way I changed when I went into work, that is what you have to do. And it's so much easier said than done. But now that you can do it, that's why you're able to give people advice

because you know that that honesty is there. Maybe that's why we're so similar in that regard. Because people think of you as this beautiful, just real, authentic girl who can crack the snarky joke and can be a little off, kind of like not as polished, but in a very polished way. And it sounds like that didn't necessarily always come so effortlessly for you. Can I ask, I'm curious, was there sort of like a point that you hit where you decided to really look inwards and see what was going on and why your behavior or your patterns were what they were? Like, was there a really low point? Definitely. So I was in a hotel. This was in the abusive relationship. And it really got to the point where I had to call the police. And I had just gotten a job

of my dreams at ABC News. And I was calling the police to get me out of a situation. And I was like, that actually can't happen anymore. So I always say like my career saved my life. But it also saved. So I then went into intensive therapy, which I should have done years before. And I think everybody could benefit from. I don't think that it was that I was so different than somebody else. I think all of us don't learn emotional health and well-being in second grade. Like we learn about uteruses in health class, which we don't really grasp either, but we don't learn what emotions come around it. And so I think that's something we miss. And I went into kind of like a primer for how to be a normal human being, you know, and some families teach it better than others. No knock to my parents, but I think that that was

something we didn't spend time on and that was something every single person should learn to do did you come from a religious family no um i would say my mom's become more religious okay yeah but not like around a childhood it wasn't like every sunday type of religion but not nothing more than that i would say yeah no i think well and talking about therapy i think in the, certainly in the past, it was, there was an implication of crazy if you ever. Oh my gosh.

Suggested you had to go to therapy. It was more like, well, if you go. Yeah. It's like a. Well, that's like what you always heard of. I always heard that Pine Rest, which was our mental place

where people went and got help in West Michigan. There's like people that think they're raccoons there. Like they're that, you know, they're that schizophrenic. That's what they think mental health. So that to me was like well i'm not that right i'm not i don't

think i'm a raccoon i'm good yeah there's there truly are two classes that are missing from primary school which is one is um emotions and taxes yeah start teaching me about taxes please yeah i always say that too but i do have one question talking about that i have noticed because i have younger siblings right and so you know my I do have one question talking about that. I have noticed because I have younger siblings, right? And so, you know, my parents were on, we were talking about just like how different it is. I think our society does do a better job of talking about mental health. But what I have noticed with the young generation, I know you have younger siblings too. So I wonder if you notice this too. It does become almost in vogue to like,

in a weird way, talk about your anxiety or depression. And I have some younger sisters who like, it's almost like, is this, are you not the down? It's like you, and as parents, like you have to address it. You can't, but it's just like, everyone is like, oh, I'm, it's like a thing. I have anxiety. I have seasonal depression.

I have, yep. And it becomes, I've noticed it's this in vogue I have anxiety. I have seasonal depression. I have, yep. And it becomes, I've noticed it's this in vogue thing with the younger generation and almost like, how do we combat that? You don't think so? I just, I,

it's so important. I think that everything, when there's a new sort of revelation of an important topic and mental health is hella important to be talking about. So I think like anything else, when it's kind of new to the scene, it swings pretty hard in one direction and it becomes like a yeah it's it's it's maybe indulged it's probably a little bit more but i do believe that there is a root cause to everyone

that's talking about it and you you certainly can't ignore it but then also the problem i have is that we can talk about it all we want but it's to take action because i could have said for a long time i don't feel right and i'm drinking a bottle of wine a day like that's you know you got something going on yeah but for me to actually take that action that's what we have to do so with my little sister that is something that i consistently say is well let's get you some help let's go do this let's make a love that like you know what's giving you anxiety well every time I go on my phone, don't go on your phone. Because I have a 16 year old sister so I go really young too. Yeah.

So we've got an all in between. 35 year old brother and like it goes all down. So similar. That's what's happening. But I agree and I just think it's taking action. If you really need that help or if you don't then go try it and see if you really do or don't need that help, you know?

And then it's helpful or not. It can help everybody. I know. You gotta look, you gotta look solution-oriented. What was other than that kind of moment you said with Shug about like the calling the cops, but was there like a moment that you were like the most, like where you really felt comfortable in your skin

where you're like, okay, this is, I'm comfortable with being this person who can talk about my past openly and not judge myself for it. But yet think of it as like a, I'm proud of it. Right. Like, you know, talking about similar situations, like I, you know, sugar and I talk a lot about my experience in the bachelor and there's things I'm like, I don't like talking about or like, or just my overall experience. And then there's moments where I'm almost like, you know what, the way I did that or the way I just own that situation, I'm kind of proud of that.

Is there situations like that where you like really defer to and kind of defining moments in your career? Absolutely. I think in my career, yes, because I'm, but that's the thing is my career, I've been really on a ride up, you know, so like in a great way,

like I've put my whole body and up, you know, so like in a great way would like I've put my whole body and soul everything into my job. When I finally realized and this I think I told you there's Rochelle on the way in as it was I was working for ABC. I'd had another terrible relationship because I couldn't just get right out. You can go to the hospital all you want get therapy, but you're still gonna be a bad habit. So you left him but found someone else? Yeah, not abusive. But I would say like the kind that you don't know if he's married and has a different apartment type you know i'm saying oh yeah i'm not one of those unfortunately you were a pro yeah it was as my as my mom said i had some promiscuous years that's her word don't talk

about your promiscuous years like which ones wait that's those are two different things you can be promiscuous and have average taste in men or you just had nothing to do with you having sex. Might've been boredom. Well, see? Boredom. See, it was too boring to be okay. So I needed some help.

Anyway, so I was in that bad one and I finally just was actually, had ended it for real, I thought. And I was alone for a couple of weeks because that was forever in my head. And I got on a plane and I was flying again. I'd been working like 30 days in a row. And I saw a family get on and I just lost it.

And I started bawling. And I was like, this is never gonna happen for me. I mean, never. I'm gonna keep getting better. I'm gonna keep being so great at my job, but never in my life is this going to happen. How old were you then? This is 30, 31. I can relate to keep getting better. I'm going to keep being so great at my job, but never in my life is this going to happen. How old were you then? This is 30, 31.

I can relate to this so much. Yeah, and then I think that moment, this is really bad, so I get off the plane, and I just needed a night off. I had been on TV for a long, and asked me a year before that, I would have died to be on all these shows.

It was so exciting, but I was exhausted. I was like a baby. I got tired, and I can't handle it i get in my apartment after the first yeah first week when she cried for absolutely no reason and there's uh there's only like one lonely sad definitely rotting avocado but that's all the food i have in my apartment and i go and i reach into my dishwasher and i cut my finger like like my pinky, like to the point of, right? And so I just, again, thinking of the family on the plane,

now I'm gonna, in my head, die on my floor of my apartment because all I had was a rotten avocado. And I finally just sat there in my blood pouring down my hand, like, why me? Might've had some wine on the plane. That moment is when I just made a decision like this is actually it right you were choosing you're making choices to be on the floor right now by yourself and this isn't the worst thing in the world you cut your finger get up shut up and like

let's move on and i think that's that that sounds so trivial but it was it's such a memorable point to me because it was such a dramatic point that prior i would have called that guy and i didn't i would have so it was like the first choice i was actually making for me since i didn't get married you know that's great it doesn't have to be that's i love that because it's just a unique moment where it had more to do with uh self-awareness yes than anything else and a conscious thought of like making it, as you said, an actual actionable change instead of just doing the same thing. Or being the victim. Being the victim. And I made myself that often.

That's a great point, Rochelle. I mean, again, people are real victims out there of a lot of cases, but I think often we make her, we victimize ourselves more. I mean,

all, all the time. I mean, I would think about it. Because it's fun to be a victim sometimes. It can all the time i mean i think about because it's fun to be a victim sometimes it can be it's entertaining it's it's it's a place to be without having to make take responsibility for yourself yeah i mean at any time i feel depressed or down it has everything to do with me feeling sorry for myself which is ultimately victimizing whatever situation of oh poor like well i don't know whatever the situation it's always like something silly but yeah i mean it's and you can do that if you want or you can you know get up get up band-aid on because you're not gonna have to go to the hospital for that little

cut right and you know what maybe you are the victim in this whatever situation but like you are you gonna sit in it or are you going to do something about it? So I, I love that. And those, I think those are moments that we, we take with us that can really help us. Yeah. And then,

and then I will say, and then I met my husband, like how'd you meet your husband? Days later. So there was a, days later. Did you still have the cut and the bandaid? I don't remember if I still have that.

I bet you did. You should add that in the story because I think it's very good. Thank you. And he offered you a bandaid. Yeah. So we were at a, you a band-aid. Yeah. So we were at a- He takes the band-aid off slowly and says, I'm here.

Ew. I'm here. You can't have a sexy band-aid on me? No, please no. Band-aids are pretty gross. Rochelle, how do you want to be swept off your feet? Not with a band-aid cut?

No blood involved, please. She just wants a dumb hot guy. Okay, Vic. Okay. All right. We met at- Your words. Yeah, you do.

It's okay. No, she wants to enjoy a dumb hot guy. She doesn't need to keep it. We'll get into Tyler G in a second. C. C, whatever. Yeah, the other Tyler G, he apparently is a criminal or some sort.

Anyways, you were saying. Oh, so we met at a SoulCycle event. It was a charity event for Robin Roberts, who we work with, and it was like a cancer. I love Robin. I love Robin too. And it was a cancer,

raising money for cancer, and then he was actually getting courted by ABC to come over from NBC. So it was like, yeah, somebody coming over from the other side. He doesn't and he didn't come to ABC.

He just came to me. Sam, girl. Who are you? Yeah, I'm just kidding. Wow, Risha. I'm sorry. You're really good looking. Thank you.

Look at this picture. So he says all the time as he noticed me in the SoulCycle class, I did not, I was sitting by that guy, by the way. I was on a bike next to the bad bad guy oh that's right the bad that i had written off yes were you in the perfect position on your bike just in front of him so he could watch your perfect

body no we were right next to each other though yeah close so instead my future husband which i didn't even know he was there saw my body and liked it you know like you don't even know he was there, saw my body and liked it. You know, like, you don't even know what's going on. But I then afterward, we had a mutual friend that was there. And then she and I lived in the same building. He said, Well, let me walk you guys across the park. And then it was basically like, she wasn't there. And we had this, we talked and talked and talked. And all I kept thinking was he's gay, got to be gay, because that's usually how it goes for me. Like he's got something or he's married. And he's to be gay. Because that's usually how it goes for me. Like he's got something, or he's married. And he's not saying it.

Because that's usually what happens. So even in my mind, I was sabotaging it before it even. So you were basing this off of no objective evidence? Nothing. No information. It was going well. It was going well. Yes. Therefore.

I had 25 minutes with a man that wasn't horrible. And I thought, well. So then I looked him up. and I started looking at his stuff. He's very funny. He doesn't like being called a comedian, but that's basically what he is. And he hosts shows and he does all this stuff. He's pretty and funny? I know.

And then I thought, again, I'm just going to do it. I'm going for it. So I wrote him. I got his email. You slid. I did. I got his email from the friend. You slid via email.

Via email. Guys, this is like eight years ago, okay? It's not a DM at that time. Old fashioned slide. There is no DM. There's not even hardly Twitter, okay? Nick would have been doomed. So emailed.

I'm not going to let that be a negative criticism. It's not. I wasn't saying it. Felt like a little bit of a shade. Anyways. Thank goodness for DMm you emailed him emailed him and then he was so impressed he's like can i ask what your email was yes so my email was very open because again i didn't know what his deal was and i just was like hi i don't have many

friends in new york i've only been here like i would have loved to been like first off i need to know are you gay yeah but then i said I just think we should be friends. And he always says, hell no. That wasn't happening. He was never going to be my friend. And I really didn't know. I didn't think he's going to be my husband. I didn't have that feeling. I like this line.

Did you mean it to be a line? No. But it's a great line. You tell a guy, you reach out to him. We're going to be friends. I think we should be friends. Yeah. Without having any idea what your situation is. That's so great. line you tell a guy you're going to be friends i think we should be friends yeah without having

any idea like what your like situation is that's so great it's not strategic i think she genuinely just wanted a friend really got along well this is smart oh so no it's a great line he was settled he was he was ready to go and and and then and i will say this in in talk about someone who's definite this is a guy who then I broke up with twice. You broke up with him twice. He says breakup. We went on like three dates and then I was like, I can't do this. You're way too much.

Um, yes. How was he too much? Was he sure? So sure. And so intense from day one. About you and the relationship. He would have married me that week. He's that guy.

Whoa. Yes. He's really good looking. He's a Luke P. Thank you. He Luke Peter. Okay. that week he's that guy whoa yes he's really he's a luke p thank you he luke peter okay let's not compare ginger's funny beautiful husband to luke p oh we will but in intensity in intensity i may because how old is he at this point he was 34 yeah 33 yeah anyways it was it was a lot it was a lot and i just i said i can't do this i went and covered a hurricane. And when I came back, when I came back, I was like, you know what?

I saw him on TV, of course. Did he go away? Or did he was. No, he went away. He went away. He respected your boundaries. He did. Not very Luke P like.

Also, I will say, okay, if I'm in, and he knows all this because he loves hearing about my exes. In fact, he's friends with a few. It's, it's so crazy. This is a non-jealous man. He isnes. In fact, he's friends with a few. It's so crazy. This is a non-jealous man. He isn't. And that part was really attractive. That right there, I can tell you right.

Yeah. Yep. He's not threatened. Not at all. Very great quality. The guy I dated right before him. Hold on. Before the bad guy within the bad.

Keep track. Within the bad guy. I'll say. I'll call it that. Is like, no kidding. One of the top models. models well the top male model i did a story on him mostly because i wanted to meet him and then i think you're also my does he like to facetime can i throw it out here what's it i think you're also my soul twin yeah just so you know because i saw this guy on a gap ad and i'm

like male models never really like to speak to me i had like a nick connection but a different one like the real kind of connection with the male model yes through a poster and i thought i've got to meet this guy so i told my executive producer oh i love you i told my executive producer hey male models are the only industry where they will not porn too but um the one that we can talk about where men get paid less than women they're misunderstood they are objectified do you know guys this guy his name is shawn o'prye he is okay i'm looking him up right now he's in taylor swift's video blank space in case anybody just wants to remember that um anyway so we ended up going on some dates

dating oh i'm proud of you girl and then my husband story my husband knew that and then became friends with him and now they slipped into each other's DMs and they're like texting each other all the time. We all had dinner. Oh yeah, he's great. Oh dang. Yeah. Oh, he actually looks a little like your husband. I know.

And then they did a whole thing where they modeled with my son. It's gotten pretty tight. Oh my God. That's him. I'm friends with him. I know. Look at those.

He is a really wonderful man. Christ. He really is. I'm sure he's a wonderful man. He was also considerably younger than me. Good for you. So. Does he like to FaceTime?

If I FaceTime Sean right now, he'd be like, okay. We actually were texting because he was talking about how hot it was. Rochelle's of the opinion. But like actually temperature. Oh, it's the weather. Oh, he texts you weather stuff? He texted me some pictures his mom took of clouds because she loves me on TV. I love this, but he's now part of the family.

He is. That's so nice. So I think, okay. So I knew my husband was a very, like, he's a very, he knows his way around words. He's very communicative. And he was so sure about me. I thought, I need to be sure about him. And including Sean O'Prior in this.

So the next time we were together, Sean O'Prior texted me and was like, hey, I think we should, you know, whatever, because he had no idea. And I said, you know what? I met someone. And that was like a really big moment for me to turn away. Yes. Something else. Something so pretty. Something so pretty.

So talented. And then to say, i think i i'm really into this guy and i'm gonna be really honest with myself and with him because i had never been honest with a guy i had always what did i say what was my line that was so good oh yes ginger has a show ahead great great line in her book she expected a lot without asking for anything yes so and i that's that was great self-awareness in your book. I think so many of us do that in life and especially in dating

and not to like separate men and women. I think women are more guilty of it than men where they don't communicate their feelings to the men and don't give out, you know, we get these callers every week. They're not stating their expectations in dating. And, but yet internally, he should do this. He should do X, Y y and z i i'm deserving of this thing and you all are but you never fucking say it say it we're called needy and we're called naggy guys but i also do

not think that men are i think human nature is to not be as honest because it's a scary thing to do it creates hurt it's it, you know, of course, but I don't think that's men or women do it more or less than the other. You don't think so? I really don't. I don't think that men are shouting out their feelings left, right, and center. Well, that's how I think men are communicating their feelings as well, but I think men in general have no problem in life telling people what they want.

In business? Systemically, yes. no problem in life telling people what they want. I think even systemically, I think, yes, I think, you know. But they have a problem saying like, hey, I wanna be fucking other people, or I wanna like, I'm looking at other women, or there's just some truths that aren't being said. For the same reason like Rochelle said, like, you know, I think systemically we, you know, aren't like how people were raised historically,

like young men are given more the the right i mean what like some baby clothes i saw that you know were like young boys clothes was like future astronaut future mechanic future world saver of the world and it was like princess princess you know like just even that early men are have boys have been told that they should go after what they want so that's why i think they're i hear you are better at that and the consequence is different so women are often afraid of the consequence because of things that we've experienced based on societal beliefs whatever it is so i fully agree but and i notice it obviously in business a lot but in relationships too and my but my i always i go back to my husband

this is what i admire about him is he is so sure like when he's offered a job and he knows he's not good for it he says no wow and i'm like what i'll do anything i'm doing a whore of career too when you say he knows he's not good for it like he's above it or he hasn't he's not the right fit that's not the right he's not the right fit or that doesn't like feed his creative soul or he just knows himself so well and it isn't it's a but it's also very attractive that way where it's like and so i've learned a lot from him that way but i needed in within our beginning of our relationship i needed to and it was the first guy who i was like listen either it's gonna be i'm cheating on you or i'm gonna go and figure myself out so i'm gonna tell you right now I'm not ready.

And he respected that. And I respected him. And it was the most honest. And he knows all of it. I love it. He's so confident. I love it. Yeah, it is.

How did he know? Does he tell you how he knew so quickly it was you? My triceps, he always says. Seriously. I love it. Do you think that's an honest statement? Or was just more like he was just this first thing he saw i was like i like lamp you know but no he he he knew from our walk across the park he just had this feeling and kind of a he he knows himself so well that he had ended relationships he never i'm his first girlfriend

really i mean he had lived with people never i'm his first girlfriend really i mean he had lived with people but within like dating them for the first time he three to four month relationships tops i'm the seven-year-old girl i'm the one that holds on forever and then gets a couple others sprinkled in there and then holds on another one for five years and like it doesn't add up because it shouldn't well he come on the show yeah you should learn from he is him too he is so different than most people. Wow. Wonderful. Very cool.

And now you're married. And I needed that, but I needed boundaries too, because nobody had ever given me the expectation. I had never given them the respect they deserved because I just didn't. And I didn't respect myself. So how can you respect someone else's boundaries and rules of engagement if you are that way? I don't know. I wasn't sure about myself. He really set it out from day one. He's like, listen, this is it. I'm in love with you. Here's what's going to happen.

And I was like, get me out of here. Took me to his childhood home. I was like, holy shit, calm down, dude. I love that, but it's a risk on his part because especially I think nowadays too, I think that kind of like messaging almost sounds old fashioned and almost now it's like, you know, he like, like me.

That was it. And I needed to get over myself. Like, cause it, it, it can be that way. And then once I did and I finally, so after January, it was January. And I finally said to myself, how about you let yourself be loved? How about you just give this guy a real shot? Like, don't be all, you know, not texting him back and do it wasn't even a game i wasn't playing a game it's just how i'd been trained i wasn't sure why don't you just let it let it roll over you and then i did

and i was like whoa wow this feels good this is right oh my god and then you made baby and then we made how long did you date before you got engaged um from that point or from the original point it was it was a year okay yeah yeah but it's like i can't it's like a year i waited too long all right yeah oh he would have truly done it in the first couple of weeks that's awesome i mean it sounds truly like a great a great story probably in a book called natural disaster it's in there before we do talk about the Bachelorette Ginger what do you think of Natural Habits Essential Oils I sent them to Ginger Yes and I do love them And I will say that we are so impressed

And I say we because my husband again I will say he's on the edge of gay He's right on I think I'm right there Right before I actually like penis But I like to dance And I'm great at ironing and cooking. All that stuff.

That's the husband. You got to look for the cuspers. I just have no, cuspers. He's on it. He's on it. Great. Yeah.

I have no, zero interest. But yet. But like all the other stuff. Yeah. On our honeymoon, on our honeymoon, I really knew

because he was like, wow, we walked into the building. He's like, there's got to be a spa. I smell a spa. I'm like, oh my God.

Okay. But he loves it. And he was so impressed with how widely dispersed it was because we've had a lot of diffusers in our day. Wow. What do you mean? It does fill a room. That's great.

600 square feet. Our bedroom smells like release. And I'm so happy. Damn. I've heard a lot of boys say that. Sorry. I also want, well, I mean mean i love that women are enjoying natural habits but listen essential oils are for men too that's how i got started and your husband is using them i have them all on my counter and now he does it he asks like which one is the one i like oh it's that one for all of the temper centers out there if you bring a lady home and you have a natural habits diffuser going with any of her four blends, she will first be impressed by just

your consciousness to health and well-being, your dedication to investing into yourself and just aesthetically how nice it is. You'll be really impressed. She will. Also, I have to say, I do love the packaging. It's beautiful. It really is. Sleek design. It's attractive. It really is. It really is. Sleek design.

It's attractive. It's the most common compliment. Thank you. It means a lot because- But it works, I guess, is the other good part, huh? The oils itself are high quality. Is that how you sell yourself? You're like, it looks really good, but it also works?

Listen, the inside's great, but the packaging, it's not just pretty packaging. All new customers get 20% off free shipping domestically. Check us out at nh oils.com. What's the code for today? There's no code. All the new customers get 20% off. That's my favorite part. The code?

Yeah. Code is everybody gets 20% off. Wow. Sounded better the second time. I continue to hate Luke P. Yeah. Hannah B. really pulled it out. Hannah B. is...

Hannah is three... Are we in episode three? Three for three. She's doing it. Do you like Hannah B.? I do. And I didn't have such an aversion like a lot of people did at the beginning.

So I wasn't coming from zero to, you know, go 180. So I do. I like her. I think she's adorable. She seems sane and put together and she is young, but even for being young, I think

she's got it going. She is weirdly poised. Yes. And I say weirdly, like she's a little weirdo. She's not in a pageant, though. She's a little weirdo. I like that. I mean, that's a compliment. Absolutely, if she's listening to this, she's a fun little weirdo who also has a lot of poise. And she has these layers of like being like, no, I'm going to like.

Yeah. She has these layers. Boundaries. She's not one. She's not one note. She took that emotional health class, didn't she? Speaking of one note, Tyler, whatever. Why do you hate Tyler?

I don't hate him. I actually really quite liked him the first two episodes. I said last week that he was my like maybe next Bachelor. Which is such a strange choice. Just like he's good looking and he seemed chill

and like all in half the battle of being the Bachelor is still looking and chill. Ginger, you don't got the thirst? You don't got the Tyler C thirst? I don't have the thirst. I do see the Luke Perry connection.

He's good looking. He's really good looking. I feel like he's kind of like what Luke Perry was before they chose him for 9 to 1. I think that's a very, very like hot and he maybe didn't have, but you love him because you gotta love him. Every beat he was in every scene.

It was just like, touch my butt. I'm like flexing. He was like that. Touch the butt thing. If that's all he did, that would have been charming, but it was every time he was on he would like lead

with like this hey that was the opposite of bde like to me that's like it was too much it wasn't like mixing it in it was like in there was nothing else it was just you think he's used that line before i'm on candy and i taste good yes it's good and you imagine the editing only could have made him look this is probably better there was probably more he's probably throwing it all out there he's like here it is here's a bunch of cement from my construction site i'm just gonna see where it dries he's getting a good edit he's getting a good get they're not trying to make him look bad it's just all he's showing and it's it was just kind of like come on man i was rooting for him you know kind of thing you know really what's he supposed to talk about science ask her a question you, you know? See what she's all about.

Stop telling her what he, you know? I don't know. There's a lot of that in this episode. He certainly does know what he is. He knows that he's the arm candy and he fesses up to it. We can say that. The other two people that don't know maybe who they are are Luke P and Cam.

Yeah. And to me, I think these are two, not necessarily them as individuals, but talking about out there in the dating world and guys we should avoid, they're dangerous men. Yes. I think. Okay, I disagree. You do.

You don't think that they're dangerous? Oh, no, not this again. What? I won't get off it that I don't think. I think Cam, I would be worried. I think that Cam, I don't know. That one, I'm like like all my alarms going off and I made a very strong point to you about this Nick because Luke P genuinely believes that he's in love he really really does he does I believe I see what

you're saying but it's not about it it's not real he believes that but this has only to do with the fact it's his he owns it because he's in love with it yes he does but that can be taught and i'm gonna squeeze you so hard and i'm gonna squeeze you so hard and you said that you love me but she is showing him affection so he has grounds to sort of believe that even if it's delusional and he's taking it too far i'm looking at a boy who's never been in love before yeah but this is the only fine but he's done this before no way i think you're both listen he is he has never been in love before yeah but this is only fine but he's done this before no way i think you're both listen he is he has never been in love and he is what he hasn't had this what's never happened to luke p before and this is different and he's never had to fight for a girl he's always gotten what

he's want he's an entitled little boy and now he's finally in a situation where he has a real competition and there's a girl who he's into and she's into him. But like he he doesn't have instant gratification, which I have no doubt he is used to. Here's some here's some specific quotes from Luke from this week's episode. She told me if she told me to leave, I'd say, nah, it's all right. I would just cuddle in bed with her we don't even need to talk second quote was the room leave the room whatever he wasn't going to leave uh next second quote is i'm going to do push-ups and you're going to smile on my back just do you he just keeps telling her how it's going to be. He's never asking her anything.

A second quote from Luke, you can take my arm. Oh, this was like real subtle. Like he, when he, when Hannah said, Hey Luke, can I come talk to you? He's like, great. And it was like, you didn't even see him as under his breath. He just goes to Hannah. You can take my arm or you can take my hand. And it was right in front of the other guys. He's literally telling her again, like touch me, touch me or like giving her direction. Because he's desperate and he doesn't know how to handle it. It doesn't make it. Okay.

Let me finish. Let me finish. He also said here, I am letting other guys develop a stronger connection with you. He, what he's letting me, excuse me. You're welcome.

I don't see her. And then Tana tells Luke what she's feeling. And she's saying, like, listen, hey, I like you. I like you. But like, you need to do better. I don't see her seeing me that way. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm going to act like that conversation never happened.

Hannah says to Luke, I want to call my own shots. Luke goes, what did you say? He said that? Yes. Like, these are all little things my point is i i understand that luke is like out of his element and he probably thinks he's in love but i think that type of guy out there that and i said this to suge and if if all these guys on a friday night walked into a bar luke was luke's the guy she's going home with yeah like he she's he's winning right now in terms of that instant gratification.

So let's assume in the real world, Hannah and Luke P. start dating. He's not competing. This is the type of guy who, I think you talk about bad guys, who are like, he talks down to women constantly. He is constantly lecturing her.

Everything she says, he dismisses, and he keeps telling her what makes him happy. She tried to express himself and all he said was, oh, what was the last thing he said? I just think he can be saved. Hannah said, I need you to fix this. I like you.

And he said, instead of being like, yeah, you know what? You're right. I can do this. He said, I would be robbed if you didn't communicate that with me. Again, it's just all about him and what he's feeling i know there's a psychological term anyone who's dated a narcissist knows it's called love bombing and they get it in the

beginning so that they can control you and then all of a sudden they act terrible to you and you're like so confused because they were so loving to you at the beginning it's a term and a lot of us have experienced it okay but it's a dangerous type of guy do we not think that this is somebody a of course this is it's all of his you know it's the agree it's what he was raised this way or he's you know never had to fight for anything and all of these different things yes but he's a little baby boy sure and he's just a little child and i think that he can be taught otherwise and he needs people to be honest with him and he needs to come on the show and for us to save his life.

But they have eight weeks. We gotta get it done. Maybe this experience will help, I'm sure. But I just, I mean, what do you think, Ginger? Don't you think, have you dated a Luke P? No, no, because I would never make it past think, have you dated a Luke P? No. No, because I would never make it past that first. I wouldn't go home with him.

Neither would I. Because I wouldn't be able to be talked to that way or told what I want or what I don't. I like that to a certain degree. I like more of the mystery, which got me in trouble more than that. Like, I wouldn't want someone that in my face and that confident. I guess I don't like that type of confidence he gives me icky feelings you know he's just and i don't think he can be saved not in the time that they need to save so i think no i think suge's saying in life in life oh yeah he has a shot and and it came up because we were comparing i was like because nick gets in the car every time

after the show and he is raving about luki p look atkey P! Yeah. You're so mad about Lukey P, but I'm like, why aren't you getting in the car and yelling about Cam? Yes. Who has been given no signs that there's anything there, and he's just like built up

this crazy man story in his head and is going to, I don't know what that man is going to do. For the first time ever, Rashawn, I agree on both points here. I think Cam maybe was not very attractive growing up, maybe slightly overweight or a bad – he was like – Maybe, but that doesn't make you crazy-eyed.

It doesn't – he's got some real confused – when he sat her down and was going to tell her, what did you think he was going to tell her? Like what was your mind doing? He's totally delusional yes talking about the my puppy

I had to give my puppy away my grandmother was dying and I'm missing a leg I didn't think I was like is he going to show her prosthetic I know do you think he's just a liar

no no I think he's sick yes I do I think that he's he could be a liar I just think he's a dweeb

honestly oh guys I think that he I think that I think we should put him on a list. Yes. You know? No, not a list. I don't watch that one.

But here's why I think- He's harmless. Here's why I think the Luke Peas of the world are more dangerous than the Cams of the world. Yeah. Because while you guys might not be in the Luke Peas, he's obviously traditionally handsome. And as we all heard from Luke P, he's not my type. I don't know. I'm just saying that let's not say that I wouldn't fuck them but like other girls would right like yeah okay right that

one hi peter's very well pete pete can have it all day pete is great that kiss but don't you think a lot of don't you think that there's a lot of women and girls who will fall for the luke pete act and because cameron's just weird most girls get away from me like he's not gonna charm anyone into like this like five year verbally like diminishing them and be the guy you can never get over because he's constantly belittling you like cam you're just like oh my god i met this guy and he was nice for five fucking minutes because he rapped and then it just all down from here and then you get a restraining order and he's wearing khaki pants and a white and a red top the whole outfit was like the sailor the blue and the khaki was really that ralone told me you gotta go wardrobe's

a mess like not working last week he's wearing jeans and a tucked up shirt then he's on a group date with a suit and a hoodie yeah with tennis shoes like all right they want to make sure that everybody understands they don't give them a wardrobe? And they were like, sure. That looks good. No, I mean, yes. I didn't get like, I love how Luke was. I mean, Cam, he was just like, I just, I'm gonna have to tell Hannah the story and she might send me home. For what?

Because you like almost. That's what I'm saying. What was he going to tell her? I almost had my leg amputated. Like, well, you know what, Hannah? I had strep throat once. I know. And I was, I had this flu.

And that's where the delusion came though. He's totally delusional. I just, what I'm saying, I'm not defending Cam. I just, whether he's a nerd or not, he's just, he's harmless because everyone's going to be, he's going to, it takes him six seconds. He's going to eat her hair because he saved it. I guarantee you. No.

Yes. He's taken her hair and he took it from her brush and now he has a doll of it. He doesn't even care about her. He just wanted to be on TV. No. Ted Bundy. No, he's not Ted Bundy. He's Jeffrey Dahmer.

He's not going to be Charm You. What? He's not. If we're comparing him to some psycho, he's like... I'm going to go through my crime memory right now. He's not that much... I think the Luke Peasley world are way more dangerous because they'll be a part of your book. Like he's going to fuck you up and belittle you and make you insecure and constantly make you feel like you're doing something wrong because he loves you so much.

But he genuinely, no matter what, it doesn't make it right, but it's based in love. So it can be turned into the good kind. Well, I'm sure Luke P. I don't know if I want Luke P. on the show. Maybe. When you said little boy, and I will say when I was watching this episode, and maybe this is me just getting older and have watched a lot of Bachelor and Bachelorette, and now I have two little boys, I was thinking just that thing. What would my child be like? And what are their parents thinking?

You know what I'm saying? Because you really get to see this person magnified, you get to see them so and i felt bad because i was thinking about cam's parents and i was thinking this is that little glimpse of him that is going to be carried forever and i'm like what if what if miles did that you know my one-year-old like he's going to be on the bachelor i don't know right but i'm thinking that way because i do give so much warmth and credit and like kind of like you were saying be kind I had like one of those moments where I'm like yeah he's really scary and definitely gonna need a restraining order but I feel bad for him well that's the thing with Luke is I don't know I mean I'm sorry Cam I just I think he just kind of comes off as creepy a little too intense and

he might just be awkward and not right for the show in all reality. He's not probably a serial killer. He just takes himself way too seriously. But good for the show in that sense. He's a great, great casting. I can't believe he burned out. It sucks. He got so weird that after three weeks, it was too weird to keep him on. Yeah.

How long did Jordan stay? Jordan is a totally different type of weird. I will say this about Cam. You just pulled up the picture. I'll say this about- I know, poor Cam. You just pulled up the picture. I'll say this about Cam. It's not a bad coat. Teachable moment for the 10 percenters out there, or maybe everyone.

There was this line that Cam said, he's sitting down with Hannah, and before he starts talking, well, that's the thing, is if you're on a date, ask questions because it's harder to screw up when you're curious about someone. Stop telling on a first or second date or

even let if you're gonna like he he told hannah yeah i'm really deep and i'm really bold and he's giving examples for the guys out there when you're on a date like do not offer this information up there's great with being but it sounds like you're projecting and peacocking you let a girl saying hey do you think you're emotional and then like think about it and maybe give an example don't be like i'm really deep it just sounds like you're talk saying what you think she wants you to hear just sounds like an insincere line like an infomercial it's an infomercial hi i'm deep i'm bold by the way i quit my job and hannah's thinking like why yeah wait but but that was my thing because the quitting the job thing didn't everybody quit their job or don't most people quit their jobs? I took a leave of absence.

A leave of absence. But whatever. And also, don't guilt me because you quit your job. That's what I'm saying. I didn't like that. Didn't you all? Being bold. Yeah.

Another thing in the real world. Being bold is not like... Yeah. If you're on a date, don't tell a girl how much you spent or what you did or the extents to which you tried to make the day special for her just let like either let her not find out either she gets it or she don't but don't do not remind her and like list your things the things you think you did or do not try to like let her figure that out be like mysterious like don't offer that up that information let

them find out i mean i think a lot of guys make that mistake uh when they're like and maybe if nothing else and it's a nervous energy you don't know what to say and if you don't know what to say just ask them a question and when they answer that question say that's really interesting i am bold would you hello i'm bold and funny and also just for yourself personally stop, you're going to have to live up to those things and then you have all this pressure on yourself. You drive yourself crazy. Was I funny on that date? I don't think so.

But I am funny. But I am. Hey, I got a question for y'all. Does it matter to you, and I saw this today, and I don't care, but Pete has been an actor on Days of Our Lives. Does it matter? He has? No, I'm just curious. I'm just questioning if that matters to actor on Days of Our Lives. Does it matter?

He has? No, I'm just curious. I'm just questioning if that matters to you. Not at all. Why would that matter? Because the criticism is he's acting. He's not there for the right place. He is a pilot. Oh, because he's an actor?

No. I'm just curious. In fact, it might make him a better candidate because he's probably not a really great actor. I really like Peter. That when he lifted her up, pushed her against the wall. Doesn't everybody want that? It's always great. How did that happen already?

That seemed really big. I didn't know we had it in him. You wrap your legs around somebody, you are, you're there. It happens a lot on The Bachelor. I was going to say, let's not give him too much credit.

But like, but it's early, I guess. It's early life. My two favorites, so after episode three are Peter and Jeb

yes they seem like the most well-rounded in terms of like pretty good looking nice guys they're gonna go for I also really like

the guy who had the one-on-one the notes around her apartment really cute it was nice he's young child

he's 24 child that's who I was thinking of being my little boy. How old is Luke EP? Same age as Luke EP. Well. How old is Tyler C? It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. What about John Paul? Yeah. What's he? How old is he? Oh, John Paul Jones is actually hot. I didn't get it the first episode. I'm like, damn.

I don't know. I love John Paul. He's kind of like quirky too. I see the quirky. He's fun. Yeah. He's a cool hang he's a cool hang great body uh i'm not into the john oh by the way what about big mike everybody's ignoring big mike i was about to bring it up i like big mike here's the thing about big mike i like him but i miss by hannah and here's where i think hannah might not really like big mike yeah and even though i think i'll go far don't what nothing she he could know he told the story and it was all sweet and he had the soundtracks going everyone's

like oh he's just like i caught my girlfriend pregnant and i wanted to be a father and then you go and then he and then like i was ready to be a father and but he said and he he tried to own the situation by saying i wasn't there for her in this moment. I might- I want to know how. What do you mean? I know. What do you mean you weren't there for her? Like we just missed that and I just wanted to know like,

and maybe I'm sure there's a great explanation. It sounds like he was willing to tell that story and maybe he did and we didn't show it, but I wanted to know- Agreed. What do you mean you weren't there? Because it just was like- I mean, maybe he was traveling.

All Hannah was like, oh great, that sounded sweet and you know, but that, what do you mean? What does he because it just like i mean maybe all hannah was like oh great that sounded sweet and and you know but that what do you mean what does he do for a job maybe he's traveling abroad i'm gonna make it see this is me being the romantic like this is me giving way too much credit probably he probably just didn't show up he's a portfolio manager no wasn't traveling around the world but if you were if you were dating a guy and he said hey i just i i gotta tell you the story i was dating a girl and we were serious and she got pregnant and we lost a child and I just feel real bad

because I just wasn't there for her. Well, if the story ended there, I would be suspicious. Like what, where, why weren't you there for her? What were you, where were you? What were you doing? Was it that you really weren't or you weren't there that day? You know, because there's quite a difference.

Or did you try to be there and you weren't there enough? No, I feel like it was bigger than that day.'t or you weren't there that day? You know, because there's quite a difference. Or did you try to be there and you weren't there enough? No, I feel like it was bigger than that day. Yeah, I don't know. And again, who knows, he might have said that

and maybe they didn't hear it. I feel like they would have. I don't know. But also, would I in that date be like, oh, really? Well, where were you? I don't think I would also.

You don't think you, not on that date. No, you wouldn't. It's a lot of info real quick. I would have done a nice quick like, how weren't you there for her? Really? Done.

You think you could have? Oh, absolutely. What do you mean? Yeah. That's it. That's all you have to ask. How weren't you there for her? I'm sure you were there for her.

He was sleeping around. You know, I would like kind of like go at it a little bit like, oh, honey, I'm sure that you were there for her. Right. What do you mean? How weren't you there for her? I wasn't. I was with her mother.

Right. And then I'd be like, you're off the list. Yeah. Did he cheat on her? Right. And she was stressed out and then all of a sudden there was a myth, I don't know. He didn't, he didn't.

I don't think that he doubted. You like him. I like Big Mike. I like him a lot. I think he's great. I think he's gonna go far. But I'm just, I don't know. I feel like if, I think that would have stressed her out

because what's so normal on the bachelor or bachelorette is if the lead likes anyone and they glorify that person. And any front runner in your mind, you start thinking, could I get engaged to this person? Literally, because that's what the show is. And so when all of a sudden you're like, the person you like, it starts giving you red flags. It's just, it's like panic.

And you wanna be like, what do you mean? Like, because- So you dive in a little deeper. You dive in deeper because you don't have a lot of time and Hannah just was like, oh, you're sweet. I would be so bad at this because I could jump so fast

into pretty much every relationship. Like in my day, oh, I would be right there too fast and not like my husband like clearly actually knew what he wanted. This has got to be so hard for somebody like that because I feel like I would do the same.

I would romanticize it so hard and, and then fall really fast too, in both ways, fall off and on. Yeah. It's a very hard position to be in. I think Hannah's killing it so far. I mean,

she's, she's doing a great job. I'm living for Grant's reactions. Grant, which one? Did you notice? Oh yeah. Every time they cut,

he's making the funniest faces. I feel like I've never seen that guy before. She's got a bunch of handsome guys. Also, I thought, I told this to Shug. I think I watched this episode and I was just like, man, these are all really great looking guys. How did I ever go this far on this show? Oh, stop.

I told him. You mean when you weren't a bachelor. It must have been really hard. They're really good looking guys. And you're basically. You're like Hannah, let me feel worthy. Yeah, before you grew the facial hair is what you're basically like Hannah. Before you grew the facial hair is what you're asking. I had to like mask my face.

Anyways. No, when they, I will tell you when they came out with that first episode and it was all workout and it was all I mean, not that you don't know this, but everyone was like who is that? Like really the transformation of what your character and you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You became, was stunning. It really was. As a viewer. Stunning. And I'm glad that happened. In reality. What was he like before? You didn't see it because you didn't watch it.

But I was portrayed as like this nerdy strategic. Stop for sale. It was a soft Cam edit. It was like they kind of wanted me to be Cam. But there's always like, well, wait. They were literally like, wait, he's normal. But why do I? And it was like.

I always still liked you. I did not like you. And he liked me. I went, you know, like, again, Cam fizzled out on week three he he got the first rose and he's not in the show anymore uh but yeah it was similar to to that and then like uh you know i didn't call that a glow up is what you had i didn't take my shirt off at all so like you gotta keep glowing up you never took your shirt off that season not really what were they thinking well when they were casting me uh

i was like very cynical and i was a late cast and i'll never forget one of the producers because i was like oh fine i'll do your fucking show and then like i'm not gonna let them manipulate me it was kind of my thought and then like right after they asked me to be on the show and i was like so what are you up to like just you know trying to build rapport i'm like well i just finished working on the gym they're like well send well, send us a selfie of you shirtless. And I'm like, no. And then so the stripper date I wasn't on or whatever. And I remember after week four,

I was working out with the other guys and one of the male producers, they were funny and they're just like, dude. They didn't let us see it. They really held it back. So yeah, that was a good reveal. Wow, this is so revealed. Anyways, that was enough Bachelor.

Do you want to help us? Hold on, hold on. Before we move on, I would like a note. I know we got to, we just. Freaking me. My sister. Okay. Because I was not a Bachelor fanette

or what are they called? Batch Nation? Nation. The fans. The Nation of the Batch Nation? Nation. The fans? The Nation of the Batch. Okay. So my sister is, and so we have Natalie's notes. So just, you know, here's some of her great notes.

Who throws chicken nuggets off buildings? And how long did he have those things in his pocket? McDonald's must be loving it. Very true. Here's what she says about Hannah. I am really impressed with how Hannah handles these men when she's unhappy or wondering about something. You got to stick up for yourself and show guys how you want to be treated.

Luke seems stunned about it, and I don't think he really gets it. He seems to want a possession more than a wife. Yeah, there it is. Yeah. Natalie. Natalie. Natalie sounds like, well, she's been watching and i do i wonder can i just ask one question about the episode it's the very opening scene why are they running

they're always running no no no this was uniquely aggressive if you've seen thank you jim yeah i thought that too i was like i kept because i was watching on my phone and getting my nails done so i didn't have like a notebook to write in to like question. But I'm glad I just remembered that because it was the oddest beginning. And it was just the timing and the sprint. It was a full on. They always do that before group meeting. No.

No. This was like a race. Did they tell them, hey, whoever gets there first gets something? That's what it felt like. Yes. Because usually there's like this slow walk. And then there's like one guy who like sprints ahead to get the first hug this was literally a stampede of a bunch of horny men just it was really and that pain thing seemed almost illegal that was great oh by the way

jenny mullen and uh yeah and the guy from american pie jason biggs. Jason Biggs. No, I just love how they call him that. No, friends of, dear friends. And so I thought they did great. Jenny, I text her and she told me how they took out all their funny jokes. Aw, they were great. They were great. That was a nice surprise. My husband's done that thing, the pain thing on his show.

Has he? Yep, definitely agrees. It is ridiculously hard. Well, my sister in Natalie's notes says, every man should do a child birth and women's anatomy course. Twelve exclamation points. High school mandatory course. A high school.

Yes. So that's the third course. Is that like that? The third course we need. Yeah. Is that a like birth control kind of thing? Yeah. I think it's maybe.

Hey, let's you should understand what we're going through after all of these many thousands of decades of you guys not wanting to. I've never doubted it. No. I'm sure it hurts. Good to know. Yeah. Like, I don't need to feel it.

You held it over there. I'm sure it hurts. Yeah. Yeah. I bet it's excruciating. I've heard what happens. I can only imagine. It must really hurt.

Would you do it if we could arrange it? No. You just, whoa. I would do it if we could arrange it no you just whoa i would do it if i like in that show i would have totally done it but like would i just randomly do it just to be like yep that sucks it does it that's like saying hey this tastes like shit try it or this smells really bad smell it well i believe it creates a deeper empathy for what they're going through. I bet it's terrible. A real understanding. If my girlfriend, wife, fiance, someone I was a committed relationship who was pregnant just asked me to do it just so we could connect better, without question. I would absolutely do it. All right.

Would I do it for this podcast? No. Absolutely not. Okay. Just trying to keep blowing you up. What's your thing that you still haven't done that you would... For the show? Yeah.

No, I mean in life. I would do anything for the show. Okay. Oh, sure. But like why? What a quick turn. Would that matter? No, I just think it would be a very nice thing for a man to do in general.

I think that all men should do it and why not? Fine. You'll do it? Great. Great. Done. Great. What would I, what, what, what, I don't know.

What haven't I done? Yeah. What haven't you done? What's your, what's your thing? What do you, what do you have to do? Because you're always growing. You're like me. You always want more.

You want to see more. You want to do more. What is that thing? In life? If you're fully honest with yourself. Yeah. Listen, now I'm just taking on the interview. I, well, what I, i would tell this is sure i think my i mean obviously like what i'm doing now i do

more of it i want to build natural habits i'm proud of it i want to grow it to uh well it is a real company but i wanted to grow it as a brand outside of myself um you know thanks i'm very proud of the fact that you know fans, fans are supporting Natural Habits and liking when they're buying it. But that's quite honestly a lot of the traction that I'm getting in the support. And I want to grow that out as a brand and a business outside of Nick. And so when people start recognizing Natural Habits, it's a brand that they talk about. And most people won't think of it is Nick from The Bachelor. And I also, as an actor, want

to book a role where people watch it. And my next goal as an actor is to steal a scene, not necessarily book. I mean, sure, I want to be a regular on a TV show or whatever, but I want to steal a scene. I want to do it. And people go, the best part of that scene was Nick. And that's my goal. And I, because I don't think most people believe I can do it. And so that's why I want, I mean,

that's not only what, but I also like, that's why I want it. That's my next big goal. And then after that, I want to do more. Great. Okay.

Great. Great question. Glad I got that in there. What? No, I just, I always end up, I have so many questions. And what about you? What's your next thing?

Oh, what am I doing next? Oh my gosh. So I'm going to see Bob Iger this week. So I always end up, I wrote a trilogy for tweens, for like kids, science. I want that to be on Disney Plus. And I feel like we grew up with a guy named Mr. Wizard being like science inspiration. Then there was Bill Nye for the next generation. I feel like it's time for a woman to be that scientist and I would like to be her. That was me in my next question. So that's it. Like, have you outgrown? I think I'm, you know, when you work in news, you like get all that,

you're like the network is the thing, you get there. And then I got here and I'm like, this is an amazing platform and I love being here and there's a lot of opportunity so many opportunities and it's just it opened up a brand new landscape and now i want to conquer that and i want to you know they want to take many different paths it's almost overwhelming at times but i love it and you're gonna do it all yeah and then the weirdest things i mean if you would have told me at 19 you're gonna be on a show called dancing with the Stars. I'd be like, what? No, I'm going to be a tornado chaser who works for a university. You know, like it just, life does that.

And I believe that fully. Just to edit you there, you were a finalist on Dancing with the Stars. That's right. Yeah. I also definitely think you could be the next Bill Nye. Thank you. A hundred percent. Thank you.

A little less. How exciting. Maybe. Different. I'm about to pretty different. Totally different character. Yeah. But just. That's what I'm putting out there.. I'm about to pretty different. Totally different character. Yeah. But.

Yep. Just. That's what I'm putting out there. And I'm going to tell Bob that this week. And I'm going to make some meetings with. So like everywhere. You just have to keep saying what you want. You have to keep putting out there.

Telling people this is it. This is it. You have to hit them over the head with it. So. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you back. Do we have a caller? Yeah. Is this happening? Oh my goodness. You want to answer? This is so cool. Question time with Nick.

Let's ask Nick your sexy questions. My name's Anique. Oh, what a lovely name. Well, this is Ginger. Hi, Anique. What a lovely name. Well, this is Ginger. Hi, Anique. And I'm Nick. How can we help you? I don't know.

Well, my question was, my husband and I have been married for about five years. And we have had some, I guess,, decrease in our sex lives throughout. We had a baby about a year ago. In the beginning, I always had more of a sex drive than he did anyway. I guess I'm not really shy about initiating and things like that, but I was just wondering from a man's perspective, what are what are some ways to, like, help give him confidence? A, very well thought out question and very great self-awareness. And I would say I feel very connected.

My husband and I will be married five years this June. So really soon here. And it is so natural, all of those feelings that you're having. I tell myself that all the time so I can remind myself because it's not going to be the same ever, right? But also, and I don't know how you feel, but I feel like I changed my initiation. Because I was always on the hunt, we were just talking about this. When you're hunting for something, you're active, right? You're on the move, you're looking. And you're always kind of putting yourself there. Even if you feel like you're still okay at initiating, I think that

having that feeling, but obviously directed at him, that would be my, is just giving him that attention. I have two little babies too, a one-year-old and a three-year-old. And that alone, you're exhausted by the end of the day. I think give yourself some grace and just say, like I've told myself, and we both talk, him and I talk about this all the time, this is probably the lowest point, we hope, for our sex lives, and it's only going to get better from here, right? It can't get worse than what it feels like in those moments, because your body feels terrible, and you're still morphing. You're within a year. I mean, your whole body still changes up to a year everything and and that includes your hormones and your emotions so the way you're feeling you're probably giving yourself a way harder time just communicating

that with him saying and then i think that in itself that vulnerability is so attractive that's where we've had some of our best moments and to be honest we just had to get away. We've only done it once. And it's a lot easier to have sex when you're alone. And when you're, you know what I'm saying? Because when there are two children and a nanny and you're in and out of the house and we both travel a lot and there's a lot of excuses to be made, but they're real excuses.

They're physically makes it difficult. So you actually have to, it's not like the scheduling thing, that's not it. But you have to give yourself that moment. So maybe if there's any opportunity, even if it's within your home, just giving yourself that half a day where nobody's around the babies with somebody else. I think that is what we've found a little bit of success in. But I would still say we're at a point where we just look at each other like, and I'll say it last night where I was like, and he's like, I'm exhausted. We can't, we gotta go to bed. I gotta wake up. Okay, bye. You know, and I'll say it last night where I was like, and he's like, I'm exhausted. We can't,

we gotta go to bed. I gotta wake up. Okay, bye. You know, and then just know that it won't be like that forever. Yeah. I mean, I agree with all that. I'm glad you jumped in because I know you asked for a man's perspective, but I think Ginger can relate to this situation a lot more than I can. And she's had these conversations with her husband. But I mean, again, the only thing I would add to that too is, and we've talked about this on other shows, I think, you know, you know, man, we all have our egos and we're feel like we're supposed to be these kind of, I don't know, macho with a sexual prowess. And then if we ever feel like we're not in the mood, I think the worst thing our partners

could do to us is make us feel bad about that and kind of emasculate us in terms of like what's wrong with us, because that will only bring up things like resentment and self-doubt and they'll get in their heads too. So not that you're doing that, try not to do that and i think with what ginger said too is you know we always talk communication you know you got to find a safe place and a safe time to still express yourself to him ask questions and that can be challenging and complicated because how do you bring that up definitely don't bring it up when you want to have sex or right after have sex don't bring it up in a very non-sexual place. We're just like, you know,

like, Hey, I mean, is it maybe cause like, can it sugar was talking about like, you're just relate, try to relate to him. I know you're tired.

And I'm like, listen, I get it. Like, but like, I think you're hot and I just need more of that dick. I think, you know,

honestly though, like kind of compliment him, like make him like, you know, it's hard to, because I will say, and I don't know if this happens to you, but ours always teeters on humor.

And then when it crosses over to humor, it's like we're just best friends that are laughing with each other. And it's like that's not that sexy. And my husband makes everything pretty funny. So it's like it's very difficult to get around that and navigate that when you get to that place, especially as you've been cleaning. And then people say this, but really you've been cleaning up vomit or whatever it is through the day and you're in a that is not sexy. It's inherently not sexy to feel that way. So a lot of it has to do

for me is I don't think that I'm not confident in my body or myself or who I am. I'm actually probably at the best point in my life in that. But as far as putting that out there and you know showing myself off and doing all that i think it does help too i've done this recently where i finally got some non sweat pant pajamas you know because i'm like if i put that on yeah it's like you tell yourself it's gonna happen it might happen totally and i don't i'm not wearing lingerie i'm not doing anything too crazy i'm just wearing like you know some things that are not super slouchy and look like my mom paints in them you know i think all those little things but like specifically to him like just make him feel like you desire him because i think just as much as i think women like to feel desired i think men anytime i'm in a relationship and

i'm with someone who compliments me and i think in general this happens relationship you get you get used to like not, well, like, of course, you know, I think, of course, I think you're beautiful, babe. Well, you don't need me to, no, I think we all like to hear it from time to time. And I think men also like to hear it too. You look hot today.

You look, there hasn't been a time when I've been in a relationship where it really didn't make me feel good about myself for my partner to really point something out that they appreciated about me. And I think that's a turn on for anyone. So maybe try to do that. Or if it's hard in person, because I think it's harder in person, I sometimes text it even to my husband. Sure, yeah.

Because I think that's easier to start the conversation. Yeah, sext him. Yeah, I felt that that's easier. Yeah, yeah. Maybe a little sex. He's at work and be like, hey, honestly, I'm just thinking about. Send him a picture of his own dick. What?

Yeah. Like, I've been looking at this dick and I can't wait for it to get home. This is mine. I own this dick. I can write this for you if you need help. You can't see me. I'm Shug.

I'm a small person in a corner right now. I don't think men mind being objectified that way. I think we're kind of weirdly into it. So go nuts. Those are maybe some. I'm on my way back and now I'm going to do this. You really should. I don't know where I'm going to find that picture,

but I'm going to act. If you can't find the picture, just describe it to him. Just describe it. Give her a picture. And you know what I might? Maybe I'm going to do it to his DM. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Maybe I'll flip it to my husband's DM. Cute. That's hot. That's hot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Maybe I'll slip it in my husband's DM. That's hot. That's hot. Sliding over here. Anika, have you guys talked about this stuff? Has he said out loud, like, I'm not feeling sexual lately? Have you had a narrative about it?

A little bit. We have, like, problems getting pregnant. And so that really put like a really bad strain on our sex life for a while. But since we had the baby and we got pregnant, like it did get quite a bit better because the pressure was off. But I just feel like, you know, he's had like some really, really tough relationships in the past where, you know, women have really degraded him and like talked down to him. And it's just done a lot on his confidence. And I really want to help him, you know, feel more confident and more masculine. Hit on him.

So, yeah. Hit on him all the time. Yeah. Right. I mean, I know it's easier. So I think that's it. It's easier said than done. And I'm just, yeah, but if you can if you can, texting, write him a note.

I don't know. Or like find a picture of him. Find those moments. Find those moments. And just get away. I'm telling you, get away. Like people say, oh, we went away and then we made another baby,

whatever it was. But that's why. Because you can have sex multiple times a day if you wanted to. Catch up. And it can be very simple. My parents growing up, That's why, because you can have sex multiple times a day if you wanted to. Catch up. You know, it's like sleep. And it can be very simple. My parents growing up, and even now, they're freaks.

No, but they have Fridays. They have date night Fridays, and they do it to this day. They're retired. They're out of the house. Do you know they have sex on Fridays? They do. I don't call them on Friday. You just don't telephone call them on a Friday.

That's nice. But, you know, we didn't have. Your dad called you after the phone. He's sweating. He shook. Don't. Winston. His name is Winston.

And I feel like he would. It would be upsetting. But what they would do, because we didn't have any money growing up, they would do simple things like go to, you know, sounds even creepier maybe. But they would just like go downtown and stay at a motel for one night or a hotel for one night. And like, it was so important to them. And, you know, we were 20 minutes from downtown,

but it was so different from being at home with us three kids that that, you know, that was it. They got away, even if it was just for one night and they felt like, you know, their teenage selves again, which they still do. And that's the thing. Have you even, I don't know how this feels for you, but have you been able to even see him? As far as like, everybody's always focused on the baby, right?

And so it's very hard not to be that way. All of your, it's not just attention and love and all that thing, but actually physically be across from the person. That doesn't even happen as often. And so you're not even giving yourself the chances of doing that. And that's what getting away does is it gives you nothing else, right? And the best type of boredom because you're in each other's face. And I think that's so important. And then you put it in each other's face.

Yeah. Well, all right. Well, hopefully that was all helpful. Put it in his face. Put it in his face. Put it in his face put it in his face thanks for calling pardon me is Shug just joining the podcast yeah she's just going to keep showing

what do you think do you want me here I love it great alright well you have a great day. Thanks for calling in. I really appreciate it. Nice to meet you, Nick. Bye-bye. You too.

Well, hi, Nicole. Thanks for calling in. Hi. Thank you for having me. Thanks for calling. Yeah. Thank you. This is Ginger. I'm Nick. Hi. What's your question? So my question is, and I guess based on from what i've heard from you nick you seem to be really open about um your dating history but you also seem to be quite over analytical and quite skeptical so i thought this question might sort of suit you from a personality point of view

so i feel like dating i feel like the whole culture of dating assumes that, you know, with enough exposure and practice, experience and history that you eventually lead to finding the one, if that's, you know, the partner of your children or your soulmate or person who understands you the best. But I suppose if at one, at any point you ever have to admit that, you know, maybe, maybe you're not going to find that person and that's okay. And it's not necessarily a sign of giving up, but it's just being realistic. And I feel like in the past, people sort of acknowledge that more. And you would have like different relationships which reflected different things.

And I think even thinking about your friendships, you know, I mean, there are people that you go to for comedic relief or for deeply meaningful conversations or for intellectually robust conversations. So how then could you expect to find that in one person? So are you asking specifically for me or are you relating it to this kind of yourself or everyone else or are you just naturally? to this kind of yourself or everyone else or are you just naturally i'm definitely when i was thinking about you specifically because you've been so open with your dating history to date you know with your experience on the bachelor franchise um as a i feel like as a self-confessed analytical person you still seem so open um to finding love and i think that's great. So how, I mean, even for you, like how do you reconcile that? But in general. I mean.

I constantly will, like if I'm in my head at times, there's certainly moments where I will often wonder, should I just give up and pick someone kind of thing? I think I've mentioned, should I just like say, fuck it? Lucky lady. I don I've mentioned, should I just like say, fuck it? Lucky lady. I don't mean like, yeah,

I know like, well, maybe it is a fret, like to, to, to Nicole's point, I don't mean like, I'm going to have my pick of the litter.

I mean, just like stop trying to find the, you know, you know, the ginger story, you know, or that she, she,

you know, you find that the person that you fall for, or you kind of have that kismet connection and that person you want to be the, as a guy, the model of your children or kind of thing. Or, and what I mean by that is this, like,

just be like, fuck it. You seem cool. Whatever. Let's just date. Do I, what do I, do I,

and you're saying just sometimes in a, in a low moment, you think this, not all the time. No, I'm saying, Do I, do I, do I, and you're saying just sometimes in a, in a low moment, you think this, not all the time. No, I'm saying, have I, do I have a,

has that crossed my mind? Sure. Of course. I mean, who, who, I think everyone has that point in life. I'm like,

life's a matter of perspective too. We talk about age or whatever, like anytime you have a success for like, as you start dating, anytime you have some unluckiness in your love life, I think you start doubting if you'll ever find it or you'll have what you want. I mean, the answer, yes, I question it all the time. How do I keep going in a sense? Like, because kind like when we ginger and i were talking about i've always gonna bet on myself in a sense of like i i remember i've really struggled a lot of it again we talked about like a lot of who i am today or my perspective in dating life came from my own

mistakes in relationship at an early age and um i was a you know i had three serious relationships i was a serial monogamous in my 20s and a lot of heartbreak. And I caused a lot of heartbreak and all these things. And I remember my parents telling me, trying to give me perspective and that I was young. And then as I got older and I had some perspective, finally, it kind of shifted where my mom was like, you know, Nick, you really shouldn't, you know, kind of like feeling the doubt from my mom was lying like, you know, Nick, you really shouldn't, you know, kind of like feeling the doubt from my mom. And I remember just very calmly saying to her, and this is where I kind of had confidence in myself, it was just like, listen, like, sure, I would like to find it now.

And I get impatient at times, but you know, the divorce rate, it is what it is. It's high out there. And I'm old enough to have friends who have gotten married and divorced only to then remarry. And so like, I see that. And I just simply said, listen, I would rather find my person 10 years from now and maybe at that point in my life have a 30 year happy marriage and hopefully I'm still good enough to have kids

than rush into it and get divorced in six years. I'd rather be 45 if that's what it takes. I don't wanna to have kids, then rush into it and get divorced in six years. I'd rather be 45 if that's what it takes. I don't want to wait that long, but like, I'm not going to like ever get so impatient that I do just quit or, and, and I guess it also comes with perspective. Like, you know, I'm always trying to figure out who that, what that looks like for me. So I don't know. I try not to glorify it and I just try to be patient. And I ultimately, every time I get impatient, I remind myself of that is that like everyone's

path is different. And when I hopefully find what I'm looking for, I will hopefully have years of happiness in front of me. And you, but that's faith, right? You have faith in yourself and in the, in the process, right? So I think that's probably the biggest part that it sounds like you have, that a lot of people, it's like you lose it maybe for a moment, but in the end, that's what faith in something is, is that you know it, right? Like that's possible. I don't believe that it's definitely going to happen. I do believe that if I continue to put myself in good situations and learn from my past mistakes and try not to repeat my past mistakes, that eventually it's going to

work out the way I hope and manifest. If I manifest my reality in a situation that I want, I think ultimately there's a good chance it'll work itself out. And if I keep making the similar mistakes, I might put myself in a position where it won't happen. But a lot of that is my control, and I believe in that. I like that you asked, Nicole, about putting the different parts of people, because I was talking about that, and that's something I did most of my relationship history, was taking different parts of men and then putting them together and making the perfect man like I was making this Play-Doh, you know, and little part here and a little part there. I think that's a really normal thing to do.

And I don't think that that means that in that time, that one person didn't have all the parts that were right. It's just the timing and the place and whatever it was where you were at, had something to do with it. So I do think a lot of it has to do with your plate your place in life and you instead of you know the the finding each person at the i don't know how to how to wrap that up but i like that you brought that up because i think that societally we think we have this image of what the perfect man or what we think we want and the expectation of that and then when it doesn't come true in each person either we're out or we try to look for it elsewhere yeah and i also like for me sugar and i were talking about this before i don't i'm not looking for any type of person i'm really not i'm more just i'm looking

for a type of relationship with a a person do you think that it could happen what if it happens and it doesn't it doesn't seem like it should be right do Do you know what I'm saying? What if it's like the person that you have this, you know, like suddenly you know this is the person, but it's like the life or relationship, they're in some relationship or I don't know. You know what I'm saying? What do you mean? So say you met someone who has been in a relationship for two years, but you're like, this is my person that you suddenly know that you figure it out. I don't necessarily believe in

that just because i don't believe in fate that way yeah where that person would be my person i do believe in timing is a real thing um i mean a funny kind of anecdotal story that shug knows i and i can't get into it for the sake of time but there a while back, I was talking to this girl and there was an event that I was going to and I was fixated on her and I wanted to meet her and I was nervous and whatever. And I had some friends show up and some friends brought this other friend and whatever, she was just there. And this other girl, we kind of talked and nothing really happened. Fast forward. A week ago, I go to another friend's birthday party

and this girl shows up and I'm with one of my girlfriends and she walked in. I was just like, wow, like what a, what a, wow. And I was flirting with her and talking to her a little bit and I left and I messaged her. I was like, nice to see you, whatever. And then I saw my, yesterday I saw my friends

and I knew they were friends through social media. And I'm like, hey, tell me about so-and-so. They're like, Nick, you hung out with her an entire night like in terms of like that event. And I was so like focused on this other girl. That you missed her. And I kind of, like in terms of like that event. And I was so like focused on this other girl. That you missed her. And I kind of like, oh yeah, that was her.

She's like a sliding door. She wasn't even on my radar. Like I just, and so to answer your question, it's just like, I wasn't in the right place, the headspace. And this girl has a boyfriend now that I thought was super attractive. And I guess it just reminded me of like, you know, maybe being more

present and being unaware and being open because like i i literally didn't think twice about her and another party she was i she walked in and i was i was like wow and i asked i was like okay so now you you didn't even you interacted with this person there was no spark and now all of a sudden you think she's hot so you can see her isn't that interesting it is interesting my only takeaway is

but listen the good news is if I'm in a relationship you know if I have eyes for you I only have eyes for you I have no preferable you're not a shopper

self focused you're not a shopper I'm not a shopper and that is true when I'm in a relationship I'm a very loyal dedicated person and then like

this particular night I was like excited and eager about this other girl that like this girl it, I was like excited and eager about this other girl that like this girl, it wasn't like she would, we hung out in this group for three hours. And I was like, holy shit, that was her? I was like, oh, it was weird.

Did we hear different or what was going on? So I guess, Nicole, I mean, you know, you just keep on putting yourself in situations. And I guess what I'm saying, I think about these moments and I just think, you know, right, right place, right time, it's eventually going to just happen. I'm clearly having these opportunities. It's just the timing hasn't quite fit, but I'm out there and I don't think I'm like this unlucky or, or destined to not be with someone. It just hasn't happened. And I don't get overly discouraged because there's these little moments, you know, if I would quit to a sports analogy i'm a batter

shooting my like taking my swings and i keep falling i'm making contact but i'm not quite hitting the hit but i'm like i'm there like i'm taking my swings and i'm getting my timing it just hasn't happened yet and eventually i'll hit one up the middle, you know? Right in the middle. I guess I think, like, I feel like we're almost, there's this underlying promise in society that if you continually keep putting yourself out there, if you just be patient, luck will come into play and you'll meet someone. And I just think, I mean, you might not meet someone, and that's not to say you're not going to have meaningful partnerships or romantic relationships, and you might not find someone who's great. But at what point do you say, well,

maybe there isn't that unicorn that exists for me? Well, I don't believe in unicorns, and I don't believe in one and only. So I think to your answer, it's a matter of perspective. I don't have this disillusioned idea of this singular person I'm waiting to meet. When I say my person, it is that person that just right timing. It could be a million other people. I'm open even to the reality that I might've already met that person. And I might've messed up in terms of maybe this person was my person. I fucked up by being fucked. That shit happens. I do believe that's possible. What I'm saying is eventually that

timing of me being open and ready and that person and it will work i think chances are i'm like being analytical i think of it more of as like a little like just a numbers game eventually it'll play out so yeah and i and i do think like if you want that if you continue to want that there's a chance if you do some self-examining and you decide that you don't want that, that's when it's not going to happen for you as if it's not something that you want in your life. But if you're a person that genuinely wants to partner up and have somebody to go through life with and you're continually, you know, like Nick said earlier, putting yourself around good people, you know, looking at yourself and your behavior, and you're a good person, of course it's going to happen eventually. But it's also, once it does happen, I think that's the other thing is that it may be sounding like a unicorn story, but I don't think that me meeting my husband is the unicorn story.

I think there's so much that I could have probably done this with 10 other people that I've, you know, like really great people in the world, some I haven't met, some I have met, and probably some I could have been with forever. And I don't think that you have to, once you do find that and it happens and you're like, okay, I'm here, I'm ready, the timing worked, you have to keep working at it. And that's, I believe, what marriage is. I think at the end of the day, that's what it is, is saying, I chose you, you chose me, we're doing this thing together. When I see you in a room, I know that we've got this together. And then there are times where that doesn't work and the person leaves the room and there's,

you know, but that's also, I don't think that that's that bad either. No, it's not. And I think that I would think then there's another person. I don't know. And then this is part of life. We are all meant to be around other people. When people say, oh, I need to be single for however much of time. I don't know

if that's true I think that we're human and we need personal relationships and things um I think that knowing yourself and getting to a great place is wonderful but that might change and evolve in 12 years I don't know what I'm who I'm gonna be or who he's gonna be and putting that expectation on him of being my unicorn forever oh sorry Nicola. I think that's hard. Oh, our battery died. Oh. Oh, we hung up on our caller, but I think she got the point. You're going to be fine, Nicole.

Nicole, we're sorry our battery died. And I also have to stop. Now I'm thinking, I don't want to keep trying to find another unicorn. You know what I'm saying? Because then it's going to come to a weird point. God, I'm really self... We're diving down a deep well.

Yeah. I think we were going to do another caller, but we left. Our battery died. It's fine. Nicole, if you're listening, bye. Bye. Bye. From Australia.

I love your accent. I'll message her on Skype. Ginger, thank you so much. Hey, thank you. from Australia I love your accent I'll message her on Skype Ginger thank you so much hey thank you for calling in I feel like we could do this for much longer

yes we could so when you're back in LA okay open invite I'll hit Bob Iger up right after that yeah

and then you know let Bob know again that you're you know you can do another solid sure by interviewing I feel like our

takeaway of this episode is um you know there's a difference between you know taking risks and and you know being adventurous but like i don't know like not not everyone if we're similar right like we have some fine and maybe there's it's ingrained in us to to be the risk takers that we are but i i never i didn't always feel like a risk taker when i was younger i don't know if you did and i think whether you are innately in this risk taker or not i think if you have any desire in your gut to and a fear that you that you want to do something find a way to do it. And my chances are that if you do go out and you, and you accomplish it and you ask questions,

it'll end up seeming like a heck of a lot easier than you ever imagined it would be. And then once you get there, it'll just be like almost so small and simple, but like, it's that first leap of, of taking that risk and doing it. And I think if you can continue to do that, whatever dream that you have is more obtainable. And I think you realize even finding love. Yeah. Aww.

That's so sweet. Really just, wow. Just beautiful. And Ginger's the next Bill Nye. Yes. Yes. And that I'm so excited. Don't forget.

Don't forget about that. Gotta keep putting that out there. Well, until then, you can find Ginger's book on Audible. You can buy it on Amazon. It's called Natural Disaster. It's a wonderful read.

If you're looking for some inspiration, a good laugh, you should check it out. Ginger, thanks so much. Thank you. I'll be following. I'll be listening.

I was gonna say, it's great to meet everybody. Thanks for tuning in, guys. Don't be afraid to give us five stars on iTunes. Send us your questions. Naturalhabits, nhoyals.com. And Nick does smell good. Does anybody confirm that for his audience?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Okay, good. I just want to make sure that's done. Because I feel like that's what people are going to ask me. It's weird. That's usually what comes up. I do take pride in how I smell.

Yeah. No, he smells good good so there we go