The Viall Files - E26 Well-Intentioned Mess with Grace Helbig

Episode Date: June 26, 2019

Multi-hyphenate YouTube star Grace Helbig is in the house to talk about what makes her relationship work. We discuss the rumors circling The Bachelorette’s Jed, I spill some tea about my current crush (who Sug does not approve of), and we play a fun new game with Grace. Then we take some of the most heartbreaking calls from fans yet. Learn your presidents, use that Magic Bullet, and go into the week with Big Clit Energy. THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: NOOM: https://www.noom.com/viall SCENTBIRD: https://www.scentbird.com/viall CODE: VIALL for 50% off your first month BETTERHELP: https://www.betterhelp.com/viall Code: VIALL See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to another episode of Vile Files. I'm your host, Snicks. Thank you. Nick Snicks. I messed up my own name. Hello, Snicks. Hi, Snicks. Shug is with us.

Hi. Thank you for having me back yet again. Rochelle, still missing? Where is the girl? She's on vacation, but it's been a while. I'm starting a bit to be concerned. I honestly don't feel concerned. I feel very happy for her.

And I just keep imagining her in these exotic places because you mentioned earlier her contact. She is in contact with us, but it's slighter and slighter. I know. She's really. She in the Congo? I wonder if she's really, she might not come back. Well.

Well, I think probably because I'm a really tough, I'm not her boss by any means, but like. Are you a tough host on her? I wonder. No. I think she's like, it this is great wherever i am is better than better than here listen to you she loves this show she loves everything that we talk about and she's just that i just miss her snarky little voice so much i do uh we made some fashion choices sugar and i we We really did. We didn't drive together, which we usually do. And we both hopped out of our cars.

I know I made a fashion choice. I did too. And I feel like you did, even though it's quite, I don't want to say basic in a negative way. It's a sweatshirt and it's a jeans and a tennis shoes, but yet there's a certain flair to it. Yes.

And I have my hair in a half up ponytail. I have big hoop earrings on. I'm wearing a hoodie. It's a crop look like i gotta i gotta it's more of like a 90s dance music video thank you i'm a hip-hop girl i grew up in hip-hop and i'm trying i need more of it back again and i've been watching all these amazing documentaries and there's all this hip-hop music in my head and i'm like where have i gone and so that's why I'm wearing my big hoops and my hoodie today. Really excited about today's guest, Grace Helbig. I'm pretty sure that's how you pronounce it.

Yeah, I just say it really fast. That rolled off your tongue very nicely. Well, knowing it's my last name, right? So I feel like I have a slight pass by not being quite sure. Grace is wonderfully funny, entertaining. She's got a couple hit podcasts. She's done some acting. She's big in the YouTube space.

The YouTube space. She's a big YouTuber. We're getting very big in the YouTube space too. So we're just trying to share platforms with dear Gracie. So Grace is out there. She's out in the dating world. She's a big Bachelor fan. I have a lot of opinions.

I know we don't try to talk about the bachelor too much but i have some strong opinions about this episode i know you do i'm excited to hear what grace has to say so i can't wait for that i did uh sugar and i went to a comedy show last night um that she it was a fundraiser what was it for what we're raising money for it was for a really great organization it was a fundraiser. What was it for? What were we raising money for? It was for a really great organization. It was for kids in LA. It's for kids in LA, but it's like, it's an organization that really pushes kids to get active in their communities.

So the whole thing is based around just being an active participant and making change in the world. And it really took over on the East Coast and now they're bringing it out here to the West Coast. More importantly, I saw my celebrity crush there i got a little nervous not more importantly i'm sorry yeah not more you're right my true colors coming out it's okay more importantly you know what the kids they're fine but my love life is numero uno.

Only to find out that Suge is not a huge fan. But what I found very interesting is your admission of not necessarily having a specific reason. Or do you? I kind of do, but it's not really valid. Like, I know that my reason is delusional. I love this admission. You do? Yes.

I think it's very relatable to be like, I just don't like this person and I don't necessarily know why. I don't know if it comes from. I think it's a jealousy thing. And it's not jealousy out of the typical looks or any of those things. We're very different in our body types, in our stature. You guys have some mutual friends. We have some mutual friends. Yeah.

And that's where some of my, I miss those friends and she gets a lot of those friends and I feel jealous of that. Don't those friends wanna hang out with you? Is that why you hang out with me? Listen, it's a Hollywood actor thing, because you're on a movie with people,

you become family with them, and then they go on to another movie, and then they make a new family with their new family people, and I missed my family, and I saw them really take to this new family member in like a obsession kind of way and i was i wanted that obsession to be back on me well i'm glad you're part of my family i know i'm like the b team you're eight you're moving up to 18 but you know, I just want you to know that if I ever get to go out with Miss Crush, you will never be replaced.

Really? Will you tell me all of the details of what goes on between you and her? We're not going to. I doubt we'll ever have this opportunity. But I don't know. I couldn't help but wonder if she there was if she I don't want to be the delusional person who's like super into me but i couldn't help but feel like there was some eye contact i just don't know when that happened because when we saw her no offense no at all you're looking at me angry but i'm saying

when we saw her her back was turned she passed behind me and her back was turned there was her and then her friends look her friends walked past and looked. I'm just, I don't know. I feel like. Well, we're pushing, everyone, we're pushing Nick today to reach out to said person. Anyways. Are you feeling shy?

I'll probably do it. I think you should do it for me because I need to become friends with this person because I have no reason to dislike her other than that. I think that's very honest for you to say. I feel like a lot of people, when they really get down to it, I think we all sometimes just don't like someone and we don't know why. And I think it's really honest to say like envy, jealousy, whatever, figuring out why we have a reaction to someone without necessarily a reason is a very honest thing to do.

I think we sometimes hold on. It's funny because it sounds like you had this feeling and you obviously don't go around expressing it because it's not like you're that passionate about it. But when it came up, you're like, you had a noticeable reaction. I was like, oh my God, what is going on? I know, and it's very unlike me.

What is going on here? I'm very open and loving and accepting of all. And then you said this person's name, and you've rolled your eyes to me at many occasions. And for some reason, my eyes hit the back of my head because I was like, oh, it just triggered all of these other feelings about me losing people that, not losing people that I love to her, but in my own delusional fantasy kind of mind. It's safe to say she has nothing really to do with. It is nothing to do with her.

And yet you have this feeling. And again, the only thing I think it's great to bring up is because I bet everyone listening has decided for whatever reason that I just don't, I don't know, I just have a feeling about him. I don't like him or whatever. But I encourage you to do the work as I do to figure out why those feelings come up

and to be aware that it's really not about that person. And I truly can't wait to meet her when you marry her or when you're just boning her, whatever it is. I can't wait. I think I'm only destroying my chances at this point. I don't know. What would you do if you were being talked about in this way only to eventually down the road realize,

and no, we're not saying anything negative. I mean, I'm certainly not. I'm a huge crush. I mean, I'm admitting some stuff right now. But if you were to go back and listen and be like, I feel like, hey, there's this podcast out there and I couldn't help but wonder if they're talking about you and you go and listen, how would you respond to this conversation? Honestly, not very badly because I think we're being honest and respectful. And so I think if I was being very honest, I would probably get a nice little shock to my ego.

I'd be like, oh, they're talking about me. That's nice. And then I would also probably want to find out and like spread love on the girl that doesn't like me for no reason. Like that's who I am. I would be like, hi, honey, I love you. You know? Well, we can only hope.

Anyways. I just, I just don't, I just, you know, I don't like it. don't like it i for some reason and it's true it's triggering me now like the idea of you now i have to hear you talk about her and you're gonna text her and then we're gonna like go through this whole thing where i walk you through like finding out if you can date her and stuff and so now we're gonna talk about her all the time and i'm like oh i guess we are we talked about her so much last night. Not, no, come on. Don't, a little bit.

We also talked a lot, a lot. We also, I also heard from an ex out of nowhere. You did? Who was like, do you want to hang out? And I was like,

I didn't know what to say. And there was, oh my gosh, there was a moment last night when we were standing on the street and we were, we were downtown and we were waiting for an Uber

and you were so frustrated and you yelled, fuck. And I was like, was like wow yeah don't you remember yeah and then i caught your eyes and i'm like what is happening like and you're like i don't know look at how it's causing a reaction in me and that was very honest i just i i heard from someone i used to date and they very vulnerably asked if i wanted to hang out and we had talked we it's not like we we we catch up from time to time but like as friends and it was like do you want to hang out and I didn't know what to say I presume that they wanted to maybe hang out potentially in a romantic way and I didn't necessarily want to and and but I I like being their friend and i didn't know what to say i was

very frustrated about like being put in that situation and i wanted to be direct and honest so i've replied back as friends for sure yeah we did great on that text just so the girls listening know boys do what girls do too you know not just you but like other male friends which i text how does this look do i do an exclamation point where do i put the comma should i put an emoji i don't know yeah totally anyways let's take a quick break i feel like we just spilled tea all over ourselves we probably did but i don't think we have i like it yeah the jingle but anyways i think coming up, we're going to bring on Grace. Let's do a quick break and then get ready for some very wild and entertaining conversation with our dear friend, Grace Helbig.

Can I just mention the name of the charity that we went to last night? Because I think it's so important. And I think that you guys would really love to kind of look into this. It's called Action Civics CA. So look into it. They really are doing such good for the community and just kind of for the overall future and future leaders of our world. So check that out. Action Civics CA.

More important than my love life. Just to be clear. It's all relative. Right? Yeah. Okay. Now go buy the stuff. Just to be clear. It's all relative. Right? Yeah. Okay. Grace.

Yeah. Welcome. Thank you for having me. Great to have you. We're going to, we're starting a new segment on the show. Okay. Starting this new segment because I have a friend. Am I the guinea pig for this? You are.

Great. You are. I'm very excited. My friend has developed with some people a new game. It's called Do You Know Me? Oh, okay. And I've been trying to think of a cool game to incorporate. Get our no guess a little bit.

Sure, sure. We talk a lot about relationships and dating. And when my friend was telling me about their game, I was like, whoa. We played it. It's a great game. It's a conversation starter. It's real simple. It's just like getting to know your friends through basic and simple questions and what's the objective like there's

no real winner yeah like uh the win is that you get to know everyone yeah it's a it's a kind of cards against humanity apples to apples type of thing yeah like a cocktail party get to know it's a conversation starter random ass questions i really liked it when we were playing because i couldn't help but think this is like in from a dating situation or just getting to know people like it's just i didn't i think people miss out on realizing how sometimes real simple questions create really interesting conversations if you listen and know how to ask follow-up questions and you know who i thought about when i was playing this game shug i do now our friend nate nate you wouldn't know this, Grace.

Nate has called in a couple times and he's trying to find the love of his life. Okay. And he's relying on us. Oh, so you guys are his yentas? Yes, we're his yentas. He's called back a few times

to give him some notes. He's a really genuine and sweet guy. That's amazing. He's a bit rigid. Okay. He's a lawyer. He likes to ask some questions. Okay.

Yeah, hasn't been out in the field a lot. So this is kind of his first like coming out and really putting effort into meeting and getting to know people. And he's asking some very pointed questions. Okay. And I'm trying to get him to just. Relax a little. Yeah.

And I feel like this game is a great game for anyone in a social situation. So we're going to play. Okay. Do you know me? Do you know me? We're going to play a quick round. Okay. Here we go. So we're going to play. Okay. Do you know me? Do you know me? We're going to play a quick round. Okay. Here we go.

Here we go. First question. Can Grace. Suddenly very nervous. And we, you do not answer these right now, Grace? Answer them to yourself. We're going to answer. Oh, you guys try to guess.

Yes or no? Yes. Okay. So this is how you play. Okay. Can Grace name three presidents on Mount Rushmore? I say no, looking at her face. Well, I made her face.

I know. But that doesn't mean she can't come up with it. That was my neutral resting face. What's your guess, Nick? Can she answer? Well, we're not going to answer quite yet. We're going to go through. Oh, gotcha.

I want to see who... I want to... Okay. Okay. I got my answer. I want to try to beat you. This is the game. This question came up.

I wasn't prepared to ask this question because it does grace own a magic bullet. I wasn't comfortable because I honestly thought this was a vibrator. Oh, I mean, he still doesn't know. I've been told it's not a vibrator. What's your next guess he still doesn't know i've been told it's not a vibrator what's your next guess i don't know but i thought to myself if i were to develop a vibrator i think magic bullet would be a great name also if i were to nickname my dick magic bullet also great name quick shot bullets are small go on not that's true maybe i should rethink that um i don't know what it is

what is it you really don't know what it is. What is it? You really don't know what it is? A magic bullet? Do you have any other guesses? Is it a blender? Yes. Very good. Exactly that. Yeah.

Great. Is it specifically magic bullet or blender? That is the brand name of a type of smoothie maker blender situation. It's a little tiny one. They're great. Don't race, own a blender. No, it's very specific to Magic Bullet. It's a real thing.

They have infomercials that are upwards of 20 minutes long. They're fantastic. It's like a hungover woman with like a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and she's at a bed and breakfast and they're all making omelets. Yeah, it's pretty great. Okay, okay. Is that true? Yeah. Have you ever seen making omelets yeah it's pretty great okay is that true yeah

have you ever seen the I think it's for Magic Bullet I'm thinking of a very specific one where all these like

they're basically like people from the game guess who all kind of gather around this like breakfast table in the morning

and they're all making breakfast and they go about how easy it is with the Magic Bullet or one of those machines wow

that is creative marketing genius I'm into that here's what i've learned about grace i don't know i don't know if she owns a magic bullet yet i have my guess but i do know she appreciates a good creative commercial i really is that she can get sucked into the tube The narrative was too enticing. Does Grace pee in pools? Present. Not have you ever. Okay. Is it a thing?

Are you comfortable with being like, you know what? I don't want to get out. Okay. I keep all my answers to myself. Yeah, right now. Okay. Was Grace part of the student council in high school

oh look she's now you're doing poker face there's can you read that one i don't know if i want to what is it fine it has grace ever partied in a sports jersey, crop top, onesie, or bathing suit? Have you let loose without all your clothes on? I like this one because I think this really tells us something about you. Has Grace ever rushed a fraternity or sorority? And finally, does Grace use an electric toothbrush really telling really range of questions all right get the real me

i think this tells us a lot about you potentially yeah uh i say you do own a magic bullet i say you do own a magic bullet. I say you do not own a magic bullet. I do own a magic bullet. Oh, yeah! I made a smoothie with it yesterday. Really? A real basic piece of trash. I made a smoothie that I immediately put it in my refrigerator and didn't drink it at all. No one describes a commercial and not purchasing.

Like, no one gets that excited about a commercial they watched and not picked up. I know. I don't know why I went with no. I have one too, by the way. And I do the same thing. It's like set it and forget it. I don't own one of those, but Ron Popeil can sell the crap out of them. I don't know it. That's a foreign

language. Sorry. Set it and forget it. You're an infomercial girl. I love that. At one point in my life, there wasn't a lot of options at late night. I also think Grace can name three presidents on Mount Rushmore. I said, I'm saying no, just by your reaction.

I think you can do it. I don't know. Okay. George Washington. Yes. Abraham Lincoln. Yes. Ben Franklin.

No. He's not a president. He wasn't a president. He also wasn't a president. Teddy Roosevelt. One, one. One, one. Okay. All right.

Okay. I think you have peed in a pool. I don't think you pee in pools anymore. So I'm going to say no, Grace does not pee in pools. I'm also saying no, you do not pee in pools. You are correct. I do not. My friend and I share a house in Palm Springs and we have a pool there and

we very vehemently do not pee in it. Oh, it's like a. Out of respect for ourselves and for other people that are there. I was like scared into peeing in pools when I was younger because my parents told me that our like family friends that had a pool had that system that turns the water purple if you pee in it. And that was enough for me to be shamed to never peeing in a pool again i was at a party once and we were all on mushrooms and having the greatest time and we were in the pool for like nine hours

or something like we just didn't get out of the pool it was heated it's the perfect place and one of my friends was a lifeguard growing up and i had to pee at certain point and i was like okay i'm just getting out to go pee. Oh, I wish I didn't have to get out. And he was like, oh, we're all just peeing in the back corner of the pool. Back corner? Yeah. As if it doesn't flow?

As if, no. He was suggesting, truly. Don't you do it here. God, no. Oh, my God. Are you disgusting? And don't swish a lot. Just go six feet over that.

Meanwhile, the other friend's doing a cannonball into the pool, completely dispersing all the water in the pool. Yeah, yeah. How old were you? Oh my God, like 29? Oh, full on adulthood. Oh, 100%.

I like the theory behind it. Well, he was sure. And it was his pool, so it was fine. But he was sure that the chemicals killed the pee, but I think it was the drugs talking. Who knows? I don't know. But I love that his qualifications was that he was a lifeguard.

Yes. And so that's how he knew that there's a spot in which the pee can happen. Trust me. If you say anything with conviction at first, people will believe it. Shout out to Evan Goldberg for that one. I want to say you were in the student council. I want to say you're capable of it, but I'm going to say no. Let me look at you.

Take me in. I think you could have been president. You have president potential, but I don't think you did it. I say you didn't choose to. I say no, not on the student council. I was not on the student council. Did you regret ever? No.

Did you think about it? No. No. Never. Okay. no not on the student council i was not on the student council did you regret ever no no no never okay so pretty pretty chill not having any of those responsibilities we're still tied oh good i think you certainly have an electric toothbrush i think you don't have an electric toothbrush i do have an electric toothbrush probably because she's done an ad for it at some point oh wait hold on oh hold on hold on hold on i don't think you get that point you had insider information no no i had i can i'm being honest that i have never seen a grace hellbig toothbrush commercial but did you know that she does those i i'm aware that she has a social following and it's very entertaining and i i knew that she's

the type of person that a electronic toothbrush company would say, she's the type of person we would want. I got teeth. Sometimes I clean them. Yeah. And I can hawk that product. Yeah. Come on.

I don't think that's an advantage, Nick. All right. I don't know. I'm reading my own. Has Grace ever rushed for a fraternity or sorority? I'm going to say no. I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say yes. Nope.

Shoot. I did not. Not at all. What does that even mean? I'm a Canadian and I don't get it. It's like when you decide that you want to be part of a sorority or a fraternity, like they, I don't even know exactly how it works.

The Greek life on my college was so small and like minimal. But I guess like they choose you. You pay the money to make friends. I don't think race is a conformer. And I think it's a very conforming thing. Not to knock it if you are out there. And it's a sense of community. Of course, you find your community.

I grew up with brothers, too. So the idea of having a sisterhood was so out of my social awareness at that time, too. Three to one. Wow. I already won because there Three to one. Wow. I don't even, I already won because there's only one question left. Has Grace ever partied

in a sports jersey? I'm going to say yes. Or a crop top or onesie or bathing suit. I don't like, or bathing suit. Actually,

I just want to know sports jersey. Wait, is this just sports jersey? Just sports jersey. I'm going to say yes still. Yeah, of course. I haven't.'t really i think it find it weird to wear a jersey of another man's name on your back oh see i went

to the harlem globetrotters immediately bought a jersey and then proceeded to go out and we ho for the rest of the day and it was very fun i would party in like a wmba jersey i just find like as a guy it would be weird for me to be like and i'm a huge sports fan be like a wmba jersey i just find like as a guy it would be weird for me to be like and i'm a huge sports fan be like aaron rogers jersey and just i feel like if brad pitt had a jersey you'd wear it oh there you go there you go get some brad pitt merch i do feel like i we look we're having conversations really got to know me we did wow i'm gonna keep we're gonna keep playing this game it's a great it's a great it's a great game kudos to your friends hey coming up with that game that's that's all for do you know me turns out you kind of segment i feel like we know a lot about grace uh i think

it's actually out now you can find it on amazon if it's not out quite yet you know refresh your your icon because it's coming out soon i think it should be out now but check it out on amazon it's a nate i think you should pick it up it's i think it's a great it's very fun it's meant i think like they have a plan super low stakes doesn't make you feel interrogated well let's think about like a date too it's like i think a lot of times when you're on a date it's always the same simple like hardcore questions so tell me about yourself i think yeah when you're on a date there's always like... My whole self? Yeah.

I feel like there's a spectrum of you either ask like two intense questions or two surface questions and these are a little bit sillier and more fun that can get deep if you want them to.

Do you like sweatshirts? Do you call sweatshirts sweaters? You know, I know Canadians do. Or jumpers or something. Yeah. And then like, what's your Uber score rating?

That's a question in there. Ooh, that's a good question yeah but you also it's it's easier in the confines of a game because what if you do what if you went on a date and right off the bat they're like hey uh what's your uber score rating i would be like well listen there's a story behind it yeah there were a couple nights that were out of my control. It wasn't me. It was my... I paid for a friend to drive home. Huge mistake. There are some really great pushy questions in there too. Like there was one like, did you throw up in the last two weeks?

Or have you peed your pants? You know, there's some that are also a little uncomfortable, which is nice too. And we're going to ask our next guest these questions. So I think we need a jingle for this segment. You should. Oh man, you love this segment and I love it too. I like segments. You do like segments. Alright.

It makes me feel more... You can task the audience to send in, submit some jingles. Oh, I love that idea. Yeah, crowdsource. So Grace, tell us about yourself. You know who could really use this game all of those contestants on the bachelorette who are really struggling to get to know hannah you want to get what a segue i just can't wait i might get into it i have very strong feelings

can we also before we get to this episode yeah are you familiar with the scandalous story that is just riddled pop culture news of Jed having a girlfriend. Oh, is that, that's what's happening right now? I've heard little like inklings about someone on the show. I have some strong opinions about this in the sense that, yes. So the story is, and I believe the story. It's interesting. I've thought about this i tend to believe the women that come forward than the men who have come forward and accused the women of similar things i don't know why i thought about that i was and i'm just admitting bias sure but the story is is that jed the country music singer who quote singer who who who i got i got opinions who can who confess to hannah hey listen i just want to be honest i when i originally signed up i i i'm a singer and i thought i was going to be for my

platform okay so he has already admitted he admitted that which sounded very honest i haven't watched the first couple episodes i started in on like episode four that's fine i'm sure but uh out of context i can glean that a little bit that he came on there for his own benefit. And at the time, he actually got some props of what an honest, what a way to say. Put it out there. What a way to put it out there. Except that like, I found it really interesting as someone who's been on there. Listen, every season, this is not new news of like the person.

It already happened early this season. every season this this is this is not new news of like the person has it already happened early this season and being before we i had take uh taisha on from colton season uh like a month or so ago and there was a story about same thing you know some guy and kind of accused her of of hanging out and breaking whatever and i uh i defended taisha and i don't regret it in the sense because you asked the questions from taisha and i don't regret it in the sense because you asked the questions from taisha and it was like she got divorced she started hanging out with this guy and they were like kind of dating but not official and then like as she was going through this process she let him know and be like hey we and then she ended it and my defense to taisha was

like when it comes to the casting process it takes long you don't even know what this is really experience is that you're signing up for and do you like completely put your dating life on hold because like it's so weird but once you get asked to do it then you kind of like have to figure out your situation and i was pretty critical of this guy being like what is he coming forward for like he just wants attention and whatever. And I would argue that most people who go on every season, I bet half the cast, even though when they're like, are you single?

Yes, they're like hanging out with people. They're dating, they're doing things. And like, I think it's very easy for the person on the other side to feel slighted by this. But this story, this guy. This is very different. Yeah, what is this story? It sounds like he was dating this girl for only four months so that's like okay you're only dating for like four months but like

there was professions of love they just were on a trip to bahamas it sounded like oh they're traveling like after presentation on the trip of i'm in love with you i love you after he got with me through the story after he got asked to go on then they took the trip oh it was after he was asked that's i mean that's and then and then the you know they spent the night together before he left la when he boarded the plane he says i'll love you he he asked her to wait for her he was like he went all in i mean he made it sound very strategic and it's interesting because i think there is a very fine line because the people who like, oh, they broke up with me for this. There's so much hearsay and like perception of like, you could be hanging out with someone and going on dates and be like, hey, like, I'm gonna be honest. If I get asked to do this, I'm going to do it. And again, like, I'm pretty much give all those people a pass because it's like, you don't really know what it's like it's not confirmed that you're for sure going on the show yeah i've had people ask me i've and i mentioned on the show like i've had people come hey nick i'm dating this person i got asked

to go on i'm going through the casting process i love my boyfriend i'm like don't do it if you love your boyfriend this is not pretty clear don't mess with it like you yes this is an opportunity people everyone who goes on and goes on for the opportunity of course yeah but you have when you go on you once you decide to go on you have to like be open in the process and jed has and so i'm just like this motherfucker and he he didn't tell hannah any of this either right like that's a huge part of it half truths he's he's telling her yes listen i saw the opportunity that's why i did it at first but now i'm really here for you but at no point was he like i also left a girl waiting at the airport and told her that i loved her but now i don't love her anymore and i love you or whatever

his his yeah what do you do you like jed at all it sounds like you don't even like him before you heard the story i liked jed initially because he seemed laid back and chill and not super attention seeking but this most recent episode there's a no scene with him he was standing outside of that window with his guitar I can't sing or play any instrument but I'm pretty

sure I could write a better song than what he sang to her at that window I was like cringing so hard and like covering my face with a pillow because i understand you want an opportunity to have your voice and quote unquote talent heard by the world um that's what youtube is there for too i don't understand why you would go on a dating show to try to get an opportunity for a music career. I would agree with that. When I get asked by people now who are out in LA,

living in LA, you get a lot of that. Yeah. Oh, hey, I want to be... If you truly want to be... I know that I went on The Bachelor and now I'm doing some acting and trying to act, but I fell in it. It's a very unique path. I didn't plan on being an actor when I signed up for the show. But for the people who are trying to be musicians and whatever they're trying to be in the entertainment business, to do The Bachelor is a-

It's a weird choice. It's a step in the other direction, quite honestly. I'm like, why don't you audition for The Voice or for American Idol or for any of these outlets that actually do provide opportunities for a music career? Super weird. And so also part of the story is apparently, according to the story. Where's this story coming from?

Well, all over now, but it was originally People Magazine and from this girl. From this girl. Okay. But more seems to be coming out. Apparently his manager signed him up for the show. The show? Oh, that's curious. That's a huge red flag.

Yeah. And yes, so this episode, there wasn't, there's almost no scene in which Jed didn't have a musical instrument in his hand. I feel like he knows that.

He's like holding a guitar, fuck Luke P. Fuck Luke P. Fuck him. I know, he's just like a tiny ukulele in all of his talking head interviews. Yeah,

it was, I feel like he knows that his time is running out so he's literally not allowing them to film him without playing an instrument. His time is running out. I think maybe he's getting nervous. Everyone's nervous. Like the pool gets smaller and smaller.

But I think that he's like, I only have so much time allotted to me to get my actual music. The thing I came on here to do out there to the world. I've been spoiler free so far. I've heard some like rumors, but I haven't. Nothing's been confirmed. I really don't know so far i've heard some like rumors but i haven't nothing's been confirmed so i really don't know and i've heard mixed rumors so um i really and which has been fun that way and reading the story i can't help but wonder if maybe jed wins because apparently according to the story after the show we can all agree that jed's going far he's top four for sure

right like after the show he ran into the said girl and they had like, he didn't reach out. He never, he didn't follow up with her. Like she, her story is, I had this boyfriend, he left for the show. I had this dress picked out there. I was just waiting for him to get the call. And so he like ghosted her.

And he never did. And whenever he got off the show, he never reached out. He just like pretended it never happened. That makes me wonder if he won. Because if he got exiled and it's an easy, especially if your ego's bruised,

even if he did start feeling some feelings for Hannah, that's an easy phone call to make. And then play it off like, oh, it was for TV. He could like keep his same script for her and be like hey babe i'm really like i went far and like but yes you were always on my mind he never called so it makes me wonder if he won and if they if he did one wow wow what is hannah oh you mean luke doesn't win the whole damn thing? I'm really... What are your thoughts on Luke?

He's a psychopath. Yes. I couldn't help... He totally is. He is... I don't know exactly what his mental health is, but I really feel like there is some lack of self-awareness, obviously, and social awareness, obviously.

Do you think that that possibly just comes from... I always think that there's some people that are like here for the first time you know like don't have any wisdom when they're born and there's something because i think he's easily coachable he's easily easily coachable i want i just want to say and i'll leave this was the first and I've been very critical very from the beginning I very this was the first episode

I slightly wanted to not necessarily defend him but I there were moments where I was like he's saying all the wrong things but his

he just he doesn't know what to do but his sincerity is more sincere than the rest of the guys. It seems like he's the only- I don't think he's sincere.

I think that the other guys are sincere, but I think that his feelings are stronger, possibly, than the other boys, men. I mean, I- I think he just has no groundedness to him. Like, there's no rationale that, like, you don't have to be in love with this person immediately i think he is like he sees things very black and white totally and then he'll

say something and then she'll go no and he'll go you're right no yeah he does that all the time and i'm like do you even hear what you're saying at all very little conviction it's a very like stunted in like a childhood boy kind of mentality that he's literally saying the things he thinks someone wants to hear and they say i don't want to hear that and he goes you're right i said the wrong things and he's like going through this like rolodex almost like a deck of cards totally just saying a bunch of stuff that he thinks makes sense but that's like so not genuine there's something so completely disingenuous about it and i think that like you said i think that that comes from him not having any grounding yeah all right and i wonder and shug's been kind

of we've been back and forth and i want for the first time i wonder if he is savable in the sense that maybe this show would be a very humiliating experience for him and i can't i this was the first episode that made me wonder is is he open to learning? Right. Is he capable of that? Is he capable of actually, is Luke P just, did he just grow up in a very isolated world? That's what I feel like. He doesn't have many friends. He doesn't understand like human socializing. Was he the king of his small little world?

Was he homeschooled? Yeah. Has he ever been in love? Probably not. Right. And he's losing his mind. He's losing his mind. Yeah.

Like a person who is in love for the very first time. And it's delusional because she is maybe not feeling the same passion. Even in this scene where he's like, I know we're going to be together. She's like, I don't know, dude. He's like, no, this is not going well. And he's like, you're right. It's not going well. It's my fault.

She's like, yeah, it's your fault. But he's saying all the wrong things. But like this episode, he was like trying to do the right thing. He didn't say the right, he said, you know, like, for example, here's what I think. And having been in this experience, and I've said this before, every season, there's only one and maybe two cast members that develop, like, I mean, real feelings. They're emotionally invested and i'm not saying these guys are necessarily full of shit shit or disingenuous but there's so many guys like i like her she's nice like i loved what tyler said about the naked

bungee jumping he's like she's experienced he was very pro pro woman that was great very supportive and i'm not trying to take anything from what tyler said and i think he likes her but i couldn't help but like watch a guy who who isn't truly invested like his yeah low stakes for tyler tyler's playbook is he's very pretty he shows up yeah compliment compliment compliment you're strong woman strong woman every it's like he's killing it he's this big but i don't feel like he's afraid of anything he's going to lose i don't feel like he's like really i think he knows that he shows up well on camera and that they can't even edit him to look bad and so as long as he keeps coasting on like being kind of charming

that's all he needs but more importantly if hannah sends him home at any point i think deep down he knows he'll be fine yeah because he will be but like what I'm saying in life, outside of the show, when we fall for someone and not to like make excuses of doing stupid things, we lose our minds. We get a little crazy. And last season on Becca's season with Garrett and Blake, Garrett and Blake were both in it. And if you go back and watch that season, you'll see moments of them kind of losing their mind.

It's twitchy. Sean and I and Caitlin, for as much as Sean and I didn losing their mind yeah it's twitchy sean and i and caitlin for as much as sean and i didn't get along it's funny i watched you watch caitlin season i didn't watch you didn't okay well sean i if for those people who did luke p's edit look sean i would argue the difference between luke p and sean's edit is that everyone in the house hates luke and when i showed up on cait season, I'm friends with all these guys now, probably closer to them than Sean is. But like I came in as the perceived bad guy

and showed up late. So everyone's like, what the fuck is this guy doing here? And they all thought Sean was fine. But like had those guys like hated Sean, like it's very high school in that world. And so, but Sean had the jealousy and had the possessiveness.

And in fairness to Sean, he truly just was falling for Caitlin and he didn't know how to process this and doesn't make it okay. But look, in defense of Luke P,

that's why I mean like he, whether he's sincere or knows what he really wants, he believes that Hannah is the love of his life because he doesn't know any better. And that's taking

anything away from Hannah. No, he's also in this incubator where he has nothing else to do and no other distractions other than to only think about getting this girl 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I mean, in real life,

we have phones, we talk to our friends, we get advice, we get perspective. He has no perspective other than a producer that's coaching him to look crazy on camera.

Yes, and he doesn't even have the support of the bros around him right he has he's so isolated which will make him go crazier and crazier in fairness to producers coaching it it luke p is capable of being crazy on his own they're not molding i'm not saying that they could do very much work for him again it's simple things like what would happen is if Luke P is mad about something, like the naked bungee jumping, he probably has a producer being like, yeah. Talk about it. That would make me mad too.

Yeah, exactly. Someone that is not conspiring with him, but that is validating his opinions on things. Meanwhile, there's probably a producer going to Tyler and be like, that sounds a little sexist. Yeah. You know? And again, it sounds like Tyler didn't need to be coached like yeah that sounds a little sexist yeah you know um and again i sounds like tyler didn't need to be coached to say that i don't want to take anything away from tyler because what he said was awesome but you know what's interesting and i talked about what if luke p

had just simply said because his intentions were actually good when he pulled hannah aside imagine if luke p pulled hannah aside, hey, Hannah, I gotta be honest. Garrett came back from his date and he told us about it. And I know earlier this season, you told me to be more real with you and you told me to just let you know and communicate with you. So here I am.

And I heard about the date and I don't know how to, I don't wanna judge you. And I know that you're going through this experience. And honestly, I feel very vulnerable. I feel very insecure. And I don't want to shame you. Because what he did is shamed Hannah. He told her what she did was wrong.

That's not okay. But what if he just said- Bonehead mistakes. Yeah. A very curious choice of words. What if he just said, listen listen i know this isn't a normal situation we're in right now but obviously in a normal situation for someone i'm falling in love with it would i don't know how to process like you getting naked with another guy and i

don't know what i what i'm trying to say hannah but i just wanted you to know that if i feel insecure bothered by someone in a relationship if we end up together i just want you to know that i can communicate this with you and I can let you know how I feel about a situation so that we can talk through it. What if he just said that? He would have been like, everyone would have been like, oh, wow. If he had let her know that his vulnerability is because he's developed real feelings for her, that makes sense.

But he has no restraint. So he digs himself into these holes with his word use that gets him like in trouble that none of it makes you can kind of like see behind his eyes the intention of the idea and the thought that he's trying to communicate and the way he expresses it is just so poor yes well he goes what did he i just and it's like to your point because he said listen i want you to know that if you do something wrong in a relationship i'll have your back which in theory i get what he's he's like, to your point, because he said, listen, I want you to know that if you do something wrong in a relationship, I'll have your back. Which in theory, I get what he's like. I'm a good guy. That's assuming that I've done something wrong that we're going to work through this right now.

Hannah's like, well, I didn't do anything wrong. Why are you shaming me? Exactly. I mean, again, it's not a normal world they're in. Right. And he's. He also went to church. There's a lot of church in this season i haven't noticed

in previous i'm not a huge fan of that not to shame i love god but like sure i feel like there's a very southern hot spot of like the audience and so they're really letting the audience with this like you know alabama girl that loves you know the lord and that sort of thing i just don't like the b-roll of using it no i don't like't like it. It feels manipulative in that way. But I also, if he is actually very religious, then there's a whole other set of principles and values and standards that he probably is really struggling with.

Yes, absolutely. Did you ever grow up religious? I grew up Catholic. Okay, same. Yeah, my parents are divorced. And then after we got all of our sacraments and got confirmation, they were like, you can choose whatever you want.

So I don't abide by Catholicism anymore, but I don't have any other respect for people that religion is their thing. But I also know that it's very rigid in the way that you're able to love and perceive relationships and that sort of thing. And it's very, very traditional.

So he might be coming from just a super traditional upbringing. And again, I don't to defend luke p per se but i when watching it i was like what would 24 year old nick who was over he's 24 at the time that's impossible he can't be 24 wait why do you feel like that's older yeah no what's crazy is that like hannah's young i mean obviously like his mentality seems young And seems a little juvenile But he looks like a What like a 27 28

Yeah he looks more Like close to 30 All the guys Are 25 24 I know that's nuts Even this episode It's

Also we learned that I don't know I can't Cause Tyler In the previews Tyler's like We have a 5 foot 8 Villain

Yeah And I was like I want It made me wonder Is he really Is he really five foot eight because that explains a lot when you see him next to when he's by himself he looks like you know a big guy short guy and then when you see him in frame with someone else you are reminded that he's a much shorter dude and that could explains a lot it could explain a lot I don't think he has

like ill intentions I think he's just like so inexperienced with like relationships in this kind of world obviously which no one's coming in experienced with this other than Hannah I left this episode with some hope for Luke in the sense that if Luke must not be listening

to this because we've been really hard on him specifically he might be listening to every second of every episode. Maybe. If you're out there, Luke, I truly hope that this. You guys got to get him on. I hope this is a humbling experience for him. And I hope that he does a lot of self-reflection, asks a lot of questions about himself and

seeks out the world and other people have different points of views from him. And like, because this could be hopefully a great experience for him, for someone who's only 24. Right. I hope so too. And, and I, I will say like,

there's no chance that this is going to end well, this is going off the rack. He's going to scream. He's probably going to punch somebody. Preview is him screaming. Yeah. But I want, you know,

I just want him to know if you are listening, we do see the good back there and we are understanding, you know, it's going to get rough. You're going to look bad, but I hope you get that on the inside. It could always be worse. Do you think Garrett, oh, can I also point out that there's a huge difference? And I don't know if this was a Freudian slip or I don't know if this was, but there's a huge difference between saying

i'm falling in love with you yeah and i'm falling in love for you oh who said that which is what garrett said to hannah when he professed his love to her i'm falling in love for you yeah because i'm falling in love for you i'm doing you a favor i'm falling in love for you she just nods it's like oh i think that's such a huge difference i also think everyone's checked out i think no one is actually listening to anyone else's words coming out like that i know i think hannah hannah's canceled the rose or the cocktail party whatever three times in a row i have a theory that she secretly is not super into any of the guys fully and that they had to do that clip show bullshit last episode because she clearly stated,

I don't like this process, this isn't working for me. And then they added this whole other half of the episode to have her say that she could still make it work. I know, and then they really drove it home at the end. It felt like felt like a pr thing it's like my husband is in the room she felt like that was planted publicity things so that chris harrison didn't have shame on his shoulders for forcing a girl to do something she's clearly said she doesn't want to

do it damn that is a big statement i have scrubbed through the i was so mad i was like this is how the whole other half of the episode goes here's what i here's what i think i think that's true except that luke p is her guy it's clearly you know like she has the she's the and and she's realizing it can't be luke p because luke p is has his problems and flaws but she's he's the only one at least right now she likes tyler she likes making out with her she likes p jed's sweet they make her feel good they're complimenting her they're all sweet guys but i even think hannah senses that luke luke truly and they're probably talking about things they're not airing and hannah's mentioned religious conversations and there's luke is so much far ahead and in like an intangible way than the other guys yeah but yet she's just like i can't

pick you and so it's wild to kind of think about sorry to change the subject but you got me thinking about that i don't usually like seeing kissing on tv for some reason yeah no i get for whatever reason i have to like fast forward and it's just i don't know why it's so cringy to me i think she's a little drunk in that group date though yeah uh but i will say as much, I don't know why it's so cringy to me. Hannah's really going for it. Hannah's a little hornball. I know. I think she's a little drunk in that group date though. Yeah. But I will say as much as I don't like kissing

in anything, movies, TV, the whole thing, stop it, stop kissing. But when they were making out in that steam room in the sauna, I was like,

hmm, oh damn. I was like, where's my magic bullet? All right. Let's blend some shit. It was also so awkward because you could, hearing the noises of like them adjusting their body

on this like wooden plank was so not hot at all. And the squishy sweat. Yeah, I know. I was like, this is so awkward. This is one of those things that like in a romantic comedy and theory is like very sexually driven and all that. But like in actual reality they're like awkwardly

trying to manipulate these like sweaty pieces of wood I was like this is so uncomfortable now take out the music and insert a bunch of cameras and audio I know that poor cameraman that had to sit there and film the whole thing I kept thinking about that person they weirdly

they love it I love that they clearly it. They love it. I love that they clearly backed up out of the room and then made it look like they were spying from like a slit in the door. I was like, this is so awkward. It's great camera work, it really is. I mean, they should win an Emmy.

Have you ever, have you ever dated a Luke P? Dated someone like a Luke P? I don't think, I think my first college boyfriend was like a luke p he was just like very inexperienced and was like attractive to me on a physical level but like emotionally just like wasn't like did you find yourself we did for two years oh yeah and did you find yourself kind of trying to guide him yeah I kept trying to convince myself that there's more to this person and that the deeper we get into our relationship and the more I get to know him.

And also, I was 19, so I'm finding out who I am as an adult. So it's kind of like we're on a path together. And then two years later, you're like, ooh, I put a lot of time into this and this is really all it is? Okay, I got to go. Did he make you feel? put a lot of time into this and this is really all it is okay yeah i gotta i gotta go did you did he make you did he i think a lot of guys like a lot of guys he's like the shaming of like the condescension of like listen i i'm gonna forgive you for being the way you are they love

you and they make you feel bad about yourself yeah also i was like very very shy when i first went to college and so it's like that was my. And then he broke up with me to try and date someone else. And I felt so infuriated that I'm like, you're breaking up with me. And then we got back together like two months later because my own like sense of confidence was wrapped up in this person. But then I met like, yeah, then I met another guy that I dated for a while. That was like the love of my life that I was like, whoa, this is like a brave new world that someone like this can exist and i kept convincing myself that

this person had all the qualities that i wanted even though like what happened to the love of your life he's married now yeah it's it was a good it was like the perfect relationship at that time in my life like the college so he's not the love of your life no at that time he was yeah uh it was like the transformative one of the loves of her life yeah we went on like a path together like finding ourselves together it was really yeah and then it was kind of this like very adult mature like we're on two different paths kind of breakup situation it was very very surprisingly adult i love that yeah it's so interesting because so many people are like hung up but you can't change a person you can't change which is true but you absolutely can have

empathy and patience and take the time to be like what hannah's doing really with luki p of like what you're doing is wrong and it's coming out this way and like you shouldn't say that to me like it is i think to keep you know the world turning in a, in a positive way, we do need to take those times to not necessarily think of it as teaching them, but teaching them a little bit or like helping them see the light. Like with Lukey P somebody's somebody I hope is loving and patient enough to be like, yo,

you're being a fuckhead. I agree. I don't think it's quite healthy because like for all, we've all been there. Grace, I'm like, it's not necessarily a healthy situation for Hannah, but she seems to be doing a first off and i i will say i can't find her love for luke p endearing i wonder if her attraction to him is

based on the fact that she knows that emotionally like her emotional intelligence is more developed than his and there's a safety in knowing that like i'm a little bit further ahead of this guy and everyone else is a little bit like more of a risk because they are their own entities and this guy i see a lot of like my younger self do you find that i've i've had other women friends uh talk about describe a situation similar to like like like take tyler for example right here's this guy we all everyone like everyone finds him to be kind of the heartthrob of the season which one is he tyler he's the dancer construction guy he has a very hot traditional hollywood face yes he was the one who's like hey

hannah's experiencing things man you know super chill and relax and whatever um and he comes across as very confident but but do women sometimes, it's like, oh, he's hot. They think he's hot. They think he's great, but does that sometimes make you feel insecure and therefore you don't want to date them? Because the way you kind of describe what you and Hannah were,

it's like... I think there can be an insecurity about someone seeming independent versus confident. I think you to develop the trust that they're going to want to be in the relationship with you even if they seem like super independent but is that a young like the way you describe hannah's uh what what might attract hannah to luke p it may i've i've heard this kind of similar like a relatable situation where because hannah feels in charge and empowered to lose like he's never gonna leave her like or that she can be like hey like you can't do that she feels confident and not that she's demonstrated this with the other guys sure but does does like tyler need

her does does does hannah feel like a tyler of the world will be fine without her right where luke p makes her feel like she's needed she's needed i remember my very first girlfriend we broke up a bunch of times and one time she broke up with me and there's a particular breakup where i struggled a lot and i just didn't want to let her go and you know we broke up a bunch of times and in this particular breakup she started dating someone else and i remember we ended up getting back together and she said to me at the time and i didn't care i just went on her back so whatever at the time and i was. And she said to me at the time, and I didn't care. I just wanted her back. So whatever. At the time, I was like 22. She said, I didn't feel like you would be okay without me.

And that was part of the reason getting back together with me. And what that meant at the time. Yeah. But it was more like, but that made her feel good about us. Well, it makes you feel safe because she knows you need her and she might not necessarily need you. So she's not going to get her heart broken and we all agree that you shouldn't need each other right but i'm saying like

you don't want each other talking about relatable situations as as we've fallen in love as we've like we've been in i mean when i ultimately ended that relationship she took it very hard because basically our whole relationship for the most part was her calling the shots of deciding when she would come and go and finally i was like i'm done and and it was like that's shocking to her i'm sure whoa whoa whoa you're done with me yeah you're done with me and she was and um but i finally you know it that that took six years um but yeah we we weirdly i don't know if it's a younger thing i don't want to like age shame the youth you know but like i just know that we what we describe as love what

makes us feel confident in these relationships kind of sometimes stems from our own insecurities of feeling feeling safe i mean i still describe when people ask me what i'm looking for ultimately i just want to feel safe safe means a very different thing when I was younger of like safe to be myself. Safe to like say, hey, this is me. Can you help me be a better person without the other person going like a Luke P does to Hannah? Yeah, I'm going to accept that you suck as opposed to saying, actually kind of think that's endearing babe but like you can like sure if you want my feedback don't do that again yeah yeah um that that kind of safety but yeah see what gracie i'm just gonna call you gracie okay what's your love journey like

right now oh i'm in a relationship right now oh great yes it's very good wonderful um about four or five months now. Yeah. It's new. We're still in the honeymoon phase. We're still in the honeymoon phase, but we've known each other for years. We've both worked in the digital space for years.

And so we've been kind of buds and friends and in the same social circles for a while. And both of us were in separate relationships and he went through a divorce and I broke up with a long-term situation. And so it's just really timing. It was kind of- When did you,

because I've never dated a friend. It hasn't happened for me, but when do you kind of like, how does that crossover happen? Is it like a touch under the table? This is the first time that I've dated someone that I've like been friends with for a while um so it was kind of we hung out a few years ago kind of like randomly in between like

us in different relationships and then kind of got into two separate longer-term relationships and then the end of last year just sort of like reconnected and had both like really grown in like the previous relationships that we were in. And like, just really kind of emotionally connected in a new way. And it was kind of like seeing someone that you've seen for a while, but then seeing them like in a brand new light, all of a sudden, you're like, wait a minute, you've been like this the whole time. And I just didn't like invest the time to get to really know you. And so it's been it's been really great.

Who made the first move? He messaged me at the end of last year. I think he, via social media, could glean that I was newly single. And so we kind of hung out randomly, got drinks at the end of last year, and then kind of went from there. But were you like, oh. Yeah, it was one of those like oh this will be another like casual hang situation and i want to date around for a while i don't know if i'm like emotionally ready to like

invest into another like relationship and then we sort of started hanging out more and it was just kind of this like okay let me see how this goes a lot of times in my previous relationships i get very like in my head planning exactly how it's going to go. Or like I see someone that I want to date and I'm like, it's you, I'm choosing you. And it's way more just like sort of control oriented. And this was really nice because it's kind of more of a free falling situation where it's like, I'm not going to plan that anything is going to happen.

I'm just going to kind of let myself be present and enjoy this and sort of assess as it comes. And it ended up being like really great kind of like myself be present and enjoy this and sort of assess as it comes. And it ended up being like really great, kind of like saying yes to a situation rather than assuming that this didn't work out before. It's not going to work out this time. What's your favorite thing about him? My favorite thing about him?

Lots of things. I think he's extremely, he's gone to therapy for years and he's like very, very intelligent emotionally and really amazingly communicative. Yeah. I've never dated someone that's so grounded in the way they communicate. And I have a tendency to be really terrible at communication. Really? And so, yeah.

I don't know you that well, but you... Clearly. You didn't get to that card. Too successful podcast. I mean, you're a talker. I can talk for sure. But like communicating like feelings that are not necessarily always the happiest situations. I have a hard time like that sort of interpersonal stuff.

And he's just very patient with that, which is really nice. So it's kind of this new sort of like education without feeling like I'm being taught anything, just sort of like experiential. Isn't that? Yeah, that's beautiful. For me, that's the hard part to find. I don't know if that just is a character thing that comes from maturity and experience i think so i think that's why like if we had started dating like this two years ago when we hung out it wouldn't have been the same way because we both kind of grew up and learned a

lot about ourselves in the last couple years and so like i said the timing of like uh how we've developed has just been like really in sync and it feels very mutual. It doesn't feel like someone has more like experience or power or intelligence or anything. It's just very like a real equal infatuation. Circus level question. Yeah. Before you guys started dating and you were just friends, did you objectify him at all? Or were you like, he hot?

I always thought he was attractive. did you objectify him at all or you're like he hot i i always thought he was attractive and then my best friend i remember he like grew facial hair and she like made a comment one time that he was like looking very attractive with his beard and it like opened my eyes in this new way because i guess i was just like not really paying attention and then i was like yeah actually he got really hot when did that happen i've always glowed up yeah he's him about that like a little bit yeah i think we're really that's the nice thing is that he's got a great sense of humor so it's a nice safe space

to be able to poke fun of each other but not in a malicious way at all and just trying to make each other laugh is a real treat. Does he keep the beard on? He does. He does. It's funny, when a man discovers a beard, don't drop it. It's like when when a man discovers a beard, don't drop it.

It's like when a girl gets the right haircut and then all of a sudden she looks a little different. Do you know what his favorite thing about you is? I don't know. He seems to like a lot of things about me, which is very helpful in this situation. I think he is much more of a planner kind of person and i'm much more of like someone once told me that i like mr magoo my way through life which is like

extremely accurate like i just sort of wander around to get to like from point a to point b with like no real like sure yeah and so i think that it's a good balance. I wouldn't have guessed that. Yeah, I have a good sense of pretending that I'm really put together. I mean, my sweatshirt says well-intentioned mess and that's exactly who I am at my core. But you're like a very successful, like, influence. I mean, how would you describe yourself?

Because you're acting and YouTubing, you've got a podcast. I'm a creator in entertainment. That's always like a $64,000 question. I never, I'm sure you've got a podcast. I'm a creator in entertainment. That's always like a $64,000 question. I'm sure you don't also know. I'm a personality on the internet, I guess. And you're doing a great job of it. Trying to.

But that takes some dedication and drive. I think I have enough capability to get things done, but I also am kind of a whirling dervish in a lot of aspects of my life. And he's got a lot of like organizational skill sets that I don't have. And so it's a really nice like compatible balance. I think that's the best. I have a friend. We go to Europe or whatever.

We're traveling. Yeah. And I'm just the duckling. I'm like, wherever you want to go, you just let me know the schedule. And people are like, don't you have interest yourself, Suga? I'm like, wherever you want to go, you just let me know the schedule. And people are like, don't you have interest yourself, Suga? I'm like, sure, but I mean, you can show me some other cool shit and I don't have to plan. Exactly. I hate planning.

I think that's what I told him. I was like, the hardest thing you can do for me is make a decision because I hate being the one to have to make the decision because I truly am not like bending to you. I don't care where we eat. I don't care where we eat i don't care where we go and do you hold to that because there's i'll say like i don't want italian food that's my only parameter that's fine because like the kind of the joke of that is babe pick wherever you want to go and then you choose something and then you go no fine anything but that okay well

what about no but see i'm really genuinely open to that sort of thing and that he was always on guard about that being like are you really that way or i can do this but like honestly i'll get annoyed right like communicate with me i'm like this is me communicating i really don't care i would just love for you to choose what we do tonight that would be great that's the does does he oh like sometimes i choose like we can that be stressful yeah well we like to have fun because I'm also not the planner

yeah well I like planning like dumb fun dates like that sort of thing like going to medieval times or stuff like that yeah like medieval times

I love dumb theater shit like that I love wrestling I love medieval times I love all that kind of dumb stuff that stuff is so I think it's one of

the big keys yeah I'm not in a relationship but I imagine it's like one of those great keys. And often I'll be like, oh, my God, I wish I could go to Medieval Times. And I'm like, I can't go alone. You can technically. You can't go alone. You might find someone there.

We had an episode about. Me and the other squire. Me and some lowly squire on the other side. We had an episode about loneliness. And I don't think that would be a great uh personal test i did go to dinner by myself the other day after our episode of loneliness because i talked about how when i moved to chicago uh i gave myself permission because i didn't know anyone so i was like you know what i i'm normal to do this because i don't know anyone as opposed to having friends

in a city and not and have them that not be available and then feeling like a loser yeah and yet i was like you know i i was about to go to an event i was waiting for them i wasn't ready yet and so like i'm just gonna go grab dinner at this like sit down restaurant by myself it's my favorite one of my favorite restaurants quick plug plug, Marvin in LA on Beverly. And I had a little pork chop and some bolognese and ate it. And then I went to the event and was by myself at the bar. And it felt quite good. Congratulations.

So medieval times. Medieval times. Also medieval times is a great first date situation because it's an activity. It's a show. You're not stressed with just having to make conversation with each an activity it's a show you're not stressed with just having to make conversation with each other it's a little expensive can i say third date because oh you do want to want to be there with them like if it's your first date and you're halfway through and you're like it's not a first date but i think as early as maybe second but yeah if you know that you can spend a consecutive couple hours yeah i, I don't want to say

it can't be a first date, but I think two people, you have to really read their excitement. You got to almost acknowledge and say, this might sound crazy. Yeah. But. What if?

What if? And coffee is also an option. But what if? I have two speeds. I have coffee or medieval times. six hours of bald men on horses. For the right person, it really could be, you know, we got married friends and this is how we know each other.

They went camping on like the second date and now they're married. So like, if you feel it, like shoot the shot. I would go camping with anyone. Stranger, whatever. Great, take me camping. Well, Grace, this has been fun. Yeah.

Are you down to answer some fan questions, save some lives, and hopefully try not to fuck them up? Yes. I am down. I am nervous, but I am down. You're nervous. Why? I mean, you want to only provide help for people.

And from hearing a little bit off record before we started these like can get intense they can be sometimes okay we got you we're a team okay we're doing it together i uh i'll take charge and we'll go from there with Nick. Let's ask Nick your sexy questions. Hi, Liza. How are you? Good. How are you? I'm good. I'm Nick. Shug is here. Hello.

Our good friend, Grace. Hi. How can we help? All right. So I have a question that I feel like I need a unique male perspective on. I'll do my best. Excellent. I am both male and some would say unique. Okay.

Okay. So I am 35 years old. I am single. And to put it bluntly, I have no real process in sight. I have recently found out that I am sort of close to early menopause. I went through the steps of freezing my eggs. I had to do two rounds because I have a low egg count. And since then, my biological clock is ticking hard. I was always sort of the girl that said, I didn't want kids unless I found somebody that I wanted to have kids with. And now I sort of feel like now that they're telling me that might not be possible, I feel like I need to take matters into my own hands.

So I'm toying with the idea of getting a donor and just having a baby on my own. So basically what I need to know is from a guy's perspective or anyone's perspective really in a dating scenario does that mean i'm giving up the idea of ever having a partner or like what does a guy think of that is that like hard path or like run away immediately or like it's better because there's no baby drama what's what's the male perspective yeah i mean i i actually had a friend who uh recently asked her me her asked me my opinion on a very similar situation i think the answer to your question is there's there's no black and white answer right um i i certainly don't think it means you're giving up on on finding someone Unless you actually say to yourself, I give up

on finding someone, then you haven't, right? There's someone for everyone, so to speak, right? Making this choice to try to have a child of your own, whether it's through the eggs you've frozen or a donor or adopting or all these other kind of big life choices that people consider, certainly will impact your dating life. It would be naive to think that it's not going to impact it in some way, shape, or form. But I think what's important in these situations to look at is, you know, who's the type of person you want in your life, right? And if you want to be a mother and you want someone who accepts you, and I don't know how old you are, if you want to share that or not, that's entirely up to you. I'm 35.

You're 35? Yeah. Okay, you're super young. Like early menopause? Really? Is that a thing? Yeah. It happens to some women, yes.

Okay, interesting. So my mother and my aunt both went through menopause at 42. Interesting. Oh, you can do it that early. Okay. Well, I decided to go get it checked out. And basically what they told me is like, I have like maybe a year before it starts. Okay. Wow. Well, I mean, listen, and you really want to be a mother.

Now I do. Now that they told me like, you can't. Sure. Well, I mean, I maybe, maybe kind of think about that a little bit more, but I mean, I'm sure you want to be a mother, but like the idea of wanting something because you were told you can't have it is certainly something I would think a little bit more about and kind of dig deep. But this is all about prioritizing what's important in your life. It really comes down to that. And so life is about choices. Life is about sacrifice sometimes. But you can certainly have in this situation you're caking into. You can be a mother and you can find someone. There might be a period while you're going, if you decide to move

forward with, you know, having a child on your own, there might be a period and maybe you don't even want to try to actively date during this period of which you're going to maybe take a time out from dating because you're going to get pregnant and have a baby. And so that might make dating more complicated in that situation. That doesn't mean have a baby. And so that might make dating more complicated in that situation. That doesn't mean you can't. And that doesn't mean you might meet a guy. I think in that situation, focus on what you want. And kind of like dating, whether you're trying to get pregnant and going through early menopause or you're 22, often sometimes things happen when you least expect it type of thing. So I think as long as you're open to it, don't give up.

I think it's important in this situation not to tell yourself that you can't find anyone. I think it's important to tell yourself that you won't find anyone. Not to tell yourself that because that energy you give off and that you're unavailable, I think that will project and people will notice that. But I mean, I think you just have to be prepared. I wouldn't be defensive about it. I think if you make this choice, you should be confident in your choice and you should be proud of that choice. And I think when you project that, it will attract the type of man I'm assuming

that you want in your life and someone who wants to be a part of that. Maybe it's a guy who's in his early 40s, who's been married and divorced. Maybe he has a kid or two. Maybe he doesn't. I don't know. There's so many different people out there in so many different situations. But I think a lot of this is a kind of a, this is a exercise of kind of confidence and self-awareness and really knowing what you want and being steadfast in your decision and then not projecting your fears and insecurities on yourself and onto the people you may want to date. So that's my two cents. No, it makes sense. I just think like I ask my friends and they're all like, of course, yes, do it.

You'd be amazing. And I teach preschool. I'm around kids all the time. I do think that this has made me realize that that is what I want. And I have to sort of come to terms with the idea that like I might be choosing to have a family over having a partner. And in the short term, again, it will have an impact. Sure. And your decision won't necessarily be without necessarily criticism or kind of ignorant opinions that you people come across who might say something that offends you it makes you feel hurt that's all possible you should prepare yourself for that but

i wouldn't necessarily that doesn't necessarily mean it's true and i think what's really important is you to like be confident that's what i say confident your decision so that if you do come across it you know you really have to know what you want here i don't think this is a decision you make that you're kind of like i think i want this you know i think you really have to want it and you put it out there and someone says oh so like you do you think you're going to find someone and you say to them and yourself yeah no i'm like this is really kind of separate than my dating life even though it seems intertwined i very want to meet someone i plan on meeting someone i will meet someone but this is a decision i had to make for myself and my family, given my unique situation.

And also, like, it happens all the time. My sister had her first child and then got married. And I know lots of friends who have kids and then found their partner. So it's certainly not one or the other. And it sounds to me like you're making this beautiful choice that helps you to more and more become your authentic self. And you're making these choices for your life. And, you know, this is for you. And it's so beautiful that your chances of finding your partner, having made this choice of something that you want independently and on your own are probably higher than they are if you don't follow your heart's desire

to have your child and to do all of the rest of it. Yeah, I think it's like focusing on the positivity of the things you can have versus the things you currently don't have. And that obviously like, Nick, you were saying, like we'll reflect in your own personality and exude a certain type of confidence that will attract the type of person that you want in your life to make things better or not. You might find that you have kids and that is so much

more fulfilling than a relationship. It's just being really honest with yourself and think about, especially the decision to have kids is so major. Really, really be honest about like the positive things that you could get from it instead of making the decision because you might not be able to have them. Like think what can you get versus what don't you have right now? Totally. I totally agree with that. I was kind of going to say that. Two things I just want to echo on what you both said. standpoint, I think it's like my sister, for example, had her first child with a guy that

she barely knew. And she has a lovely daughter and then met her now husband and had another child later in life. The only thing that's unique about your situation is you're actively thinking about having a family without having a guy and knowing that that might, especially while you're trying to get pregnant and being pregnant will affect your dating life. And it might, right? But then you're only 35. And if you were to do this in the next six months, you'll have hopefully a lovely child and be 37 years young and totally open to it. And for all the guys that may say that they don't want that situation, fine. That may open a lot of doors for guys who again maybe in their life they've had the kid they don't necessarily want the pressure of having another kid and you're like

yeah i'm good i'm i have i i fulfilled that that maternal instinct so because i've seen that a lot with uh people like who are dating in their 30s and early 40s where there's a difference between i still want a family because i don't have one yet. And they meet someone who's like, yeah, listen, I love you. But like, I've already had two kids and like, I'm good, right? So like you might open the door for some of those people who might,

otherwise you might have butted heads. So kind of to Grace's point, it might close some doors, it might open other windows. So you never really know. I think again, just echoing, be confident in your decision and then let the chips fall wherever they may.

And just don't tell yourself it's a choice and you're shutting down your love life because you're absolutely not. It's just going to change it. But I think you will be a more confident person giving yourself what your heart really wants. And then you won't project that not having it on your dating life. So I think it's a great thing. you just have to be confident in it yeah i think the thing that i've experienced is i have another friend that did it and i got to as an outsider hear what people were saying about it and like you know nobody's ever going to date her yeah you're going to get that yeah and so like i got to hear people's ever going to date her. You're going to get that.

And so like I got to hear people's unfiltered opinions and now I'm like, crap. Like, is that what everybody? Yeah. But do you agree with their opinions? Do you agree with their opinions? Oh, and I think like, I think that, you know, she's incredible for doing that. And I can justify all the reasons for wanting to do it. And like, you know, I wanted a child so bad that I did it on my own and I'm an independent woman and, you know, I can support myself. It's more of just like, I envision a first date and going in and having someone think

like, does she think that I'm going to step in as a child's father? Like, without me ever asking. It's almost a good weeding out process. Yeah, sure. You don't want someone that's going to assume that on a first date anyway. You won't be the only single mother out there trying to date. It's not a minority, you know? Like, it's out there all the time. But it's not to say, listen, people are bored and opinionated, you know?

And they often, like, like to say things that are judgmental and they're projecting their own insecurities. You're going to face that. And again, that's why I continue to go back to this is about you being confident in your decision. Yeah. And when you hear this, you either ignore it or you push back and say, listen, that's your entire opinion and no judgment. But like, I'm very happy with my decision,

and I'm very confident I'm going to meet someone, and I have my family and my child, and I'm totally patient with waiting until I'm 40 or 41. I don't know. You could have your lovely child, and then at 44, meet the love of your life, and then hopefully have a 20, 30-year wonderful relationship with the right person that the person who was judging you had a four year failed marriage.

You know, like you'd never really know. You could also freeze your eggs, never get pregnant and have people judge you on the opposite end of the coin. So people are going to say things about everything constantly. It's just a matter of like she said, like, do you believe what they're saying? Do you hold those opinions of yourself so yeah no you get to show up on a date and be like oh i got impregnated by a sperm he's a a scientist he was in nasa he's tall dark and handsome my language you know like that's a badass choice you're making and and that's the that's the

the big clit energy you walk into a date with i think it's important to find to the right friends when you're going to this who are supportive though because there might be periods of like loneliness and feeling judge and it's probably easy to get down yourself it's easy for us to be like hey be confident and be strong yeah and that's and you should be but get a good have a good support system and it sounds like you do have like a really valuable resource in your friend that you got to see firsthand go through this already which a lot of people don't have that direct connection to someone that can really guide them um so closely so that's really valuable yeah i definitely have very supportive friends and family wonderful great well Timmy thanks for calling in

how can we help can I first just compliment you on your background I know I look at it it's a tapestry it's a tapestry yeah I wasn't sure if it was a tapestry or you're calling from some sort of northern exposure no I wish no it's just on my wall I wasn't sure if it was a tapestry or you're calling from some sort of northern exposure?

No, I wish. No, it's just on my wall. Well, Timmy, how can we help you? Okay. So I'm going to try to explain this as best as I can. In high school, I started dating this guy my junior year. In high school, I started dating this guy my junior year. And we dated all throughout until our senior year, the very end, when he took his own life.

I'm sorry to hear that. So scary. Oh. I don't know. It's one of those things, I guess. But it's been two years since then. And I'm ready to get back out there and start dating again I guess so I've been talking to this guy since January and I found myself kind of questioning my loyalty to my last boyfriend which is kind of weird I, because he's not alive.

But I guess my question is, when I'm dating and stuff like that, how can I get over this feeling that I'm cheating on somebody that's not even here? What is, may I ask, like, what's the feeling you have? Like, you feel like you're cheating on him? Where do you think it's coming from? Like, when does it come up? Yeah, I do feel like you're cheating on him. What, where, where do you think it's coming from? Like when does it come up? Yeah. Um, I do feel like I'm cheating on him. Um, for example, like a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to this guy and our messages kind of got a little bit sexual.

And then, um, when it was all said and done everything was good i noticed the date and it was like the half year anniversary of my last boyfriend and i and all of a sudden i was like oh my gosh i can't believe not only am i talking to this guy but talking to this guy in this way on this date like what what's wrong with you to me like how could you do that to him i don't know were you dating when he took his home life like were you in the relationship when when he when he passed away yeah okay um listen i let's first of all i just want to say that you know just this is obviously a serious subject in terms of suicide and taking your own life uh we're not professionals so we're going to give you our opinion. And I think this is the situation where, and we've said this to other callers,

there's nothing wrong with you like talking to a medical professional about this, about processing the situation and getting therapy about being in love with someone and being in a relationship with someone who took their own life, I think is a healthy thing to do. So that's probably my first bit of guidance for you to do that.

Okay. So think about that. And I think there's nothing wrong with that. And I think you should be confident decision and you can either be public or private about that with the people in your life about you doing that. But I think it's totally okay and right for you to do that. Okay. right for you to do that. Okay. That being said, listen, I can't imagine what, you know, I haven't experienced that. So when I say I can't imagine, I mean, I truly can't imagine that. And so, but it makes sense that you would feel things like guilt. I mean, you were in love with someone and it's like almost like an exercise about closure and in terms of like he took his own

life but in terms of a relationship you never got closure not to make it about you in this situation but the grieving process of losing someone and then like in a normal situation where you break up and you talk about why did we break up or etc what's what was wrong none of this happened for you and was this your first boyfriend this was it was um was this the first love of your life kind of thing yeah yeah special right so like yeah in anyone's life whether you are someone who takes their own life that first you know relationship is you know when that first love will always be with you for the rest of your life even if they even if you realize they sucked or you you know you didn't like who you were with them, whoever they are, that first

love hold will always be special to you. And the fact that you didn't experience any traditional closure and from a relationship standpoint would be my guess is why you're feeling this. And it might be something you want to, want to, want to, like you want to pressure. But yeah, I think it's important to know that you're going to have to find closure on your own. And again, through therapy might be a great way to help you do that. Be patient with yourself. Don't judge yourself. You need people to talk about this with

and we appreciate you taking the time to share uh this with us i'm sure and my questions with nick i've you're not the only one who's experienced yeah stuff like this i can chime in i had an ex-boyfriend who was hit by a train and he died and were you there was we were dating we weren't we weren't currently dating at the time but we had dated and we were in a really beautiful relationship. And then we went to different high schools and that year he died.

So his first year of high school. And I think a lot of, very different from your situation, of course, but one of the things that I learned going through that was allowing myself to still be allowed to honor him and love him and bring up that relationship in the new ones when I needed to. So if I, in your situation, like that was a day that, you know, you maybe didn't see it coming and you forgot that that was a certain anniversary. And so then you're like, oh my gosh, look at these two things I did on that day where you can maybe go to your new partner and say, you know, like, hey,

there's going to be days that come up for me where I need to celebrate him and talk about my love for him and talk about, you know, how special he is in my life. And I think that you're allowed to still have him in your life by saying like, you know, celebrating those times if you want to. Of course, you do want to have the closure like Nick was saying so that you can move on and fully 100% have your two feet in with somebody, but you're in a very unique situation where you need to give yourself permission to love that guy for as long as you need to. And I use love often in a very, very big sense of it.

You know, like giving your heart to somebody new is so important, but also having that kind of beautiful overall love for this person who was taken from you in a very unfortunate and tragic way can i ask you a question timmy does this new guy you're talking to is he aware of the situation is he aware of your ex um he does know yes okay um and how was his response about it yeah how was his response to that how is like what did he say was he cool did he handle it in a mature way what like what was well he stayed with my family for a while and so um he found out through my mom texting him about it okay and like i don't i don't exactly know how he feels about it i don't know we don't really we don't talk about it much. And you don't have to like

rush into that kind of conversation. I mean, the whole grieving process is completely individualized for everyone. The amount of time, like there's stages of grief that you've probably are in the middle of right now, obviously have a huge heart to be able to even like call in and ask a question like this and to feel guilt and to feel possible shame for not, you know, being able to be in that relationship anymore. I think when you talk to a therapist, you really there's like five stages of grief that you go through. And the last stage is acceptance, which is probably the closest to like closure. I've heard a lot of people that have gone through miscarriages that have gotten pregnant again,

they oftentimes, if they're feeling guilt for not being able to honor the memory of the first child that they lost, they write a letter to that child and they put all of their heart and emotion and love and grief and pain and sadness into this letter, just really acknowledging the memory of this being and acknowledging that they had nothing but love and unfortunate events have got them to the place they are now. But just really, really putting it all on paper and like putting it wherever you want. You can bury it in a field. You can throw it in a box. You can put it in your attic, just allowing yourself to kind of write down and see your thoughts on paper. And like that might help in some sort of closure sense for you. And you can share that with the new person that you might want to hang out

with more. It can be totally completely your own for you because this really is your own grieving process. And just to remind yourself to like treat yourself with kindness in this situation. It's going to take you however long it takes you to get forward. I think that's great advice. I mean, regardless if a therapist says it or not, I think that might be something you might want to try in terms of expressing that. I also just, again, I don't mean to sound

condescending, but you are super young and that's okay. And again, like when you get older, like you think back on your dating life when you're younger. And all I would say is you should date. It's good that you're getting out there. Don't necessarily put so much pressure on yourself in terms of what you're trying to get out of dating. You're young enough to just enjoy meeting new people and meeting guys. And I'm not saying sleep around and be super casual.

But I'm just saying just get to know a bunch of people and don't put so much pressure on replacing your ex or like falling in love again. Maybe enjoy being single for a while. You can like say, I'm ready to get back out there and date. And at the same time, enjoy being single. They're not necessarily mutually exclusive. Like, you know what I'm saying? You can actively date and not be promiscuous

and be single and enjoy your freedom. And I think maybe that's a good place to start without saying, I'm ready to date, I'm ready to fall in love and have a serious relationship again. And I think like Shoshana said, you are in a unique situation. And so it is unique. And you might be asking a lot of young men that you're dating to step up and maybe be mature beyond their years to say, I'm not threatened by this. I totally get it. You should celebrate this. I don't understand because I haven't been there, but it makes sense. Like, you definitely want to find a guy who is that way. Yeah. makes sense like you definitely want to find a guy who is that way so as long as you're comfortable with it i would encourage you to try to be i wouldn't leave with it on a first date but if you start liking a guy i think it's probably important for him to hear it from you and say do you have any questions i want to be able to talk about this so i want to also be able to answer

questions you have and i want you to feel comfortable asking me questions because I know this is weird, but like I might need to talk about it with you. So I need to know that you like you're, that you feel comfortable talking about it with me and start inviting like open communication early in your relationship, which you know, it's hard to do for anyone.

And especially, and I know it was hard for me when I was younger. So it's just really about talking it through and being open about it. And I think this is a great first step. On your own terms too. Yeah. Don't feel insane pressure to have to now completely open up to this new person that you're like experiencing right now.

Like really check in with yourself and make sure you're not, you know, rushing anything. And cause it's okay to take as long as you need to be able to have those kinds of conversations with people yeah and that's what i mean about like kind of maybe just go out and date with someone that you don't feel like like you need to say it but if you ever meet someone that's like oh i like this guy and i want to see where it goes then you know and it might be something you have to be ready for that someone else your age you didn't experience this might not in a sense because it it is, it is unique. Um, but it's just something that you,

you, I think it's good that you're acknowledging it, like Ray said, and it's good that you're not ignoring this feeling and pushing it down. And, um, yeah, just find people to talk about it with and maybe like a professional. I think that's totally normal and healthy.

Um, and you know, see where it goes with this guy. And if not, you're like, you're super young and have a whole life ahead of you. And, um, you might meet the next guy who's the right for you in a year, six months or eight years from now. And you're going to have a lot of fun in between. So, yeah, I guess that, that helps a lot. Thank you all of you for that. I definitely think I'm going to start maybe a journal or something and just start writing it down.

It also gets it out of your head. I'm sure you feel you have a lot of inner monologues going on with a lot of different emotions. So getting things, it's really hard to talk to people about it. So even just writing it down kind of reduces you know, reduces the anxiety that might be surrounding these sorts of like tougher conversations. And so it's a good first step and hopefully makes it easier moving forward for you to talk to people about it and normalize it sort of in a way for yourself to sort of like reduce the anxiety around it. Just out of curiosity, when you're dating your ex and when he was with us, were there conversations about infidelity that you guys had, or was there any situation that— Yeah.

Yes, there was. Okay, that might— We did— Huh? Go ahead. Oh, we did—I mean, like, there were times when it was questioned, I guess, for both of us. Okay. And then he did end up cheating on me, but I didn't find out about it until after he was already passed on.

Okay. So, I don't know. I mean, we discussed it. That's why I asked. There's probably something there, you know, that you haven't processed. And again, maybe subconsciously you're equating it you know i don't know again i don't know what it's like for you and how you process it and what you thought about his suicide or what compelled him to take his own life but that that makes sense to me which is why i asked the question but like

again like you know it's just good for you to talk these things through with people uh to get this out because those are the things you're probably subconsciously hanging on to. Yeah, I didn't I didn't actually think of that. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's tough. Those triggers are probably going to pop up. And that's why it's so important to look in words and really to sit with yourself and break down those emotions and allow them and do all of the rest of it. But honestly, you're doing so great because like Gracie said,

you calling in and you really looking at this and saying, why did I feel that way? Look at all of this guilt. How do I cope? That is exactly what you should be doing. You have a good heart. You sure do. And look at that big, bright smile. Yeah bright smile Yeah You're doing so great Thank you Alright Timmy well hopefully that was helpful Just keep talking about it Keep finding people you trust and feel comfortable with

And you'll get through it Thanks for sharing Also your name is Rad Yeah you're a great name Oh thank you You guys have a good day Thank you you You guys have a good day. And a great background. Thank you.

You as well. Have a great weekend. Take care. Well, Grace. Yes. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. I really learned a lot.

I got to go to the doctor and check on my menopause situation. I'm 33. I got to go. I got to go. I feel, is that a, is that a, let's, I don't know. It's possible, but I think it's too deep go. I gotta go. I feel, is that a, I don't know. It's possible, but I think it's unique. It's definitely possible.

It's not very common to go through it at 42. It sounded like, from talking to her, it was hereditary? Yeah. It sounded like it. Yeah,

and for her, it's come in even earlier, but definitely something you can check out. But there, you know, I think that by 45, you sort of start

passing over that hill, so. I think like for men, when sort of start passing over that hill. I think like for men, when they get into like their 30s, like it's not common to get like prostate cancer, but that's, you know, you don't even have to worry about it in your 20s. And fuck, you know, once you get into your 30s, like it might be something if you have a family history of it or something. But wow. What else did you learn, Grace?

We don't usually do this, but I like this like takeaway segment. learned that i i don't know three presidents that are on mount ashmore and i learned that you're not a big history buff no not at all not even a little bit see the more you the more and i learned that jed's got a secret girlfriend all of it i don't know if he has a girlfriend anymore but i do know he had a master plan. Yeah. Does this make you more or less interested in the remainder of the season? What if he wins? Do you think it comes up through the season? Do you think it comes up at all?

No, I don't. Okay. But if he won, and I think he's a potential, he's definitely a top. I mean, I'll probably keep watching. I just don't feel emotionally invested in any of the guys, really.

What about Hannah? Are you emotionally invested in Hannah? No, not really but i but that's only because the context clues of her seeming like she's not into it it's like what am i rooting for it was when she was on our show uh we she there was a caller and i didn't like call her out for it because i didn't want to put her on the spot but we had a caller that uh their question she you know it was i, I'm 27. All my friends are married.

I come from a small town. I feel like I'm fine with my singleness, I think, but my friends make me feel judged a little bit. Very common. And Hannah, to her credit, was just like, hey, girl, I get it. Like, I'm from Alabama. And like, literally this happens to me,

like this happens in my world at like 21. And she was like, I'm just in a very different place in my life than my friends. And I was just like, huh, really? Interesting for someone who we presume is engaged. Right, right, right. I found that really interesting. So I am very fascinated about the outcome of this season because no Batshred has A, not gotten proposed to or engaged to.

Well, that's the thing is they broke the rules last season so not anything can happen sure but like yeah but that was a unique situation where cassie's dad shows up and gave him from gave her permission to leave and then it gave colton permission to be like hey well i want to get engaged but you don't want to so let's just date yeah and everyone's like, oh, that makes sense. That's super normal. Realistic thing. Totally. But that doesn't have, like, again,

every, every lead would prefer, like, it doesn't make it insincere, but it's just like, there's a pressure that comes from Bachelor Nation. They're like, you're supposed to do this.

This is how it works. And why don't you? And like, it's Bachelor Nation that usually applies this pressure. Sure. Because the few bachelors who didn't, it didn't go well for them in terms of, and it wasn't just because of that but uh i'm i that makes me fascinated but like if if jed is the last guy standing he's good there is that after final the rose well that's the

thing i mean it makes for a great like reunion special yeah or the guys tell all or whatever it is i will say this about hannah with the story if he's the last man standing she doesn't she seems self-aware and she seems brave enough to ask herself the tough questions yeah and process she seems emotionally mature yeah she seems way more mature than i assume and her ability to trust her gut so she's no dummy if these if she's with jed and these stories come out you want to believe the person you're with and everything would be fine had jed broke up with this girl i dated for four months i got asked to be on the show it seems shitty i'm sorry but i'm gonna do this and maybe i'm gonna do this

for my career but i'm gonna end this relationship that is still new in the honeymoon phase. I'm not saying that's like cool and it still sucks for the girl but at least he's like, ah, what a weird situation but we're breaking up and I don't wanna lead you on and I don't know what's gonna happen.

No, according to the story, he was like, wait for me. Well, do you also think because there's the clips of Chris Harrison saying that there's a guy with a ring ready to propose. I thought maybe that was like one of her exes from like her hometown coming back on the show that would be exciting right that happened with becca didn't it yeah something like that i

mean like that happened i'm less intrigued by that because it's such a it's a trope oh it's definitely luke p's coming in with that ring i know it oh yeah he was just sharing and he got a ring well they, they, in the preview, because the preview can be very misleading, they imply that she sends Luke P. home

and then they, so like, who knows? I don't, those are, you can only take so much from those, but I don't know.

We'll see. Anyways, Grace. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Where can people find you? You're doing great things. Yeah, I have a podcast called not too deep that you were on a previous episode of comes out every monday troll the rock a little bit uh-huh yes you did very much a lot a lot i

love the rock but i just think it's very he laughs at his jokes yeah i'd forgotten about that whole segment i love the rock who doesn't the uh and then i have a podcast with my best friend mamrie called this might get weird comes out every wed. And then I'm just at Grace Helbig on all social media. So fun. How's YouTube life? It's, you know, it's hanging in there. It's like that cat poster. The cat just hanging from a tree.

Yeah. It's still there as far as I checked this morning. Well, thanks again. I appreciate it. For those of you listening, always thanks for sticking with us. If you like what you've heard, we'd love your five stars. You can even give us critical feedback

and still give us five stars. Wow. Don't you think? That's incredible. I don't know. Don't forget to check out naturalhabits at nhoyals.com. First time customers get 20% off.

Grace is a user of naturalhabits. I am. I am in fact a user. Yeah. I can attest that they are fantastic. Thank you. You're welcome. Anyways,

thanks for listening. See you next week. Have a great week.