The Viall Files - E265 Mental Dating Gymnastics with Christa Allen

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

We are joined by Christa Allen today to have a conversation about life and relationships. Most people know Christa from 13 Going On 30, or Revenge, and now from her strong Tik Tok game. Christa is about to turn 30 and we talk about her perspective on growing up with expectations versus the reality of reaching a certain age, questions that you should and should not ask on dates (and how they indicate what your future with that person could be,) if society is assigning value to people by using different metrics, jealously, and being in a relationship while maintaining friendships with the opposite sex.  Nick and Christa really cover it all and share their experiences and lessons learned.  “If you feel judged on a date, it usually means you’re being judged.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Helix Sleep: http://www.helixsleep.com/VIALL  to get up to $200 off all mattress orders and 2 free pillows. Noom: http://www.noom.com/VIALL to sign up for your trial today. Vizzy: http://www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/VIALL to find out where you can upgrade your hard seltzer and purchase Vizzy. Blenders Eyewear: http://www.blenderseyewear.com enter promo code VIALLVIP for 15% off. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @christaallen  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash V-I-A-L-L. That is helixsleep.com slash V-I-A-L-L for up to $200 off and two free pillows. What's going on everybody hey it's wednesday or i don't know who knows what day it is really but uh welcome to the volfhalls i'm your host nick joined by the elite team of chrissy ellie and amanda what's going on ladies not much is going on wow i i have to tell you i went out to a bar here's something i went out to a bar and i'm curious a boy went up and started immediately talking about how sexy i was and how he would tear up my pussy and i think that is an abrupt way to speak to somebody i agree like who says that you have to be so unbelievably hot if you're gonna talk like that like you have to be so hot and powerful if you're

gonna say something like that when you first yes wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait so hot and powerful gives you possibly some sort of permission to do that? No. Permission? No. Chance of success? Yes. Okay.

Oh, interesting. I just mean if you're going to be like that direct, I think you have to be packing a real punch. Like you have to have a really obvious reason to be that confident. I'm teasing, And I once, I have a friend, I guess, but he would get sauced and it would work for him. A good looking, confident guy. And he would walk up to them and, you know, bar situation. And he'd be like, I want to take you home and go down on you and make you come all night long.

Go home with you and tear as a verb are very different things. Either way, he would talk about how he wanted to make them come. That was his opener. I was talking about making them come. And I think it's weird. It would work for him. It didn't work for me. But that guy did end up going home with a girl.

I just want to say, listen listen it's a big risk it is to uh have your opener be easily assumed as sexual harassment if they don't like it you know what i'm saying like totally totally right you have the right to think of that as sexual harassment or or not but like you know what i'm saying, I don't think anyone would call you crazy for being like uncomfortable and violated in that situation, right? And that's not the same as a guy like having the courage to say, hi, you're pretty.

Yeah, no. That was the opposite of what happened. Balls on that one. But that guy did go home with a girl that night. Somebody did go for it. But I was shocked that somebody actually went for it. But when you think about it

from his standpoint, if he's at the bar saying, I know what I want to leave with is a pussy to tear up, then it makes sense for him to be that direct. I think it's a kind of a bad way to engage with people.

Like I'm not defending him, but I do think it's probably a very effective way. Like it's a great weed out course. All right. Well, we have a great weed out course all right well we have a great episode for you uh the delightful krista allen is with us i saw krista on tiktok and i was like isn't that the girl from 13 going on 30 and uh i know i knew this because i saw an interview of her talking about that because she's like close to 30 now so we have

a fun conversation about getting older growing up dating in our in our twenties and, and life. And, uh, she was absolutely delightful. Really enjoyed my conversation with Chris. Uh, she's a great follow on Tik TOK and Instagram. So check her out there. And I I'm sure you will love this episode. Uh, if for nostalgia purposes, uh, go back and watch 13 going on 30 and, um, it, uh, perspective, what a, what a, what a tricky thing to learn in life and uh we talk about that today uh don't forget to send in your questions at ask nick at cast me.com cast with a k for our episodes go be sure to check that uh monday's episode out if you haven't listened to it already for some sage dating stories and advice next week sheila kelly joins us to talk about pole dancing uh actually it's a lot more

than that. One of my favorite conversations I've had in a long time is with Sheila. Women empowerment, finding your sexuality, you're kind of feeling comfortable with your kind of erotic self and how men and women can better communicate. And we really get into the weeds in such a great way and I really appreciate Sheila. So that's next week. You'll love it be sure to check that out but right now we have krista allen for you uh krista thanks so much for coming in thanks for having me i i'm very excited to have you on it's funny i like i was aware of your. Obviously you've been around for a while, but I like really started following you and paying attention to you when you were like, Hey, if you want to feel old, I'm about to turn 30. And I was like, huh? Yeah. Thanks. Um,

it was right up there with the Macaulay Culkin turning 40 tweet back in the day. calkin turning 40 tweet back in the day right um and i thought that was really funny and and so i started following your stuff and and then uh you are really entertaining on social and then you put out this tiktok i pride myself in as we all know on the show of giving sound relationship advice and you drop some really great knowledge and Her TikToks are bomb. Yeah. Her TikTok game is so good. It's like if they like you, they'll let you know. If they don't, they'll confuse you. They will also let you know. Super simple.

We've given this advice before and yet you don't see it. And I was like, wow, do you want to come on this podcast and like talk about life and relationships? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, great. And I was like, great. And here we are. So thank you for coming in. Yeah.

Thanks for having me. That TikTok I think is just, it's another way of saying he's just not that into you. Yes. Yeah. But we have ways as you kind of mentioned before we started recording of convincing ourselves that they are into us through a bunch of different ways.

The mental gymnastics you will do to convince yourself that someone might eventually fall madly in love with you are stunning. Yeah. But before we get into all this relationship fun stuff, I was curious, like 13 growing on 30, legendary movie, fan favorite, it's my girlfriend girlfriend's one of her favorite movies do you being an actor in the movie do you appreciate it in a different way than other people do you still watch it when it's not because it's one of those movies it's

like always on all the time and for a lot of people it's one of those movies that not not necessarily me but they will always watch it no matter where it's on yeah you're different than that is it weird how is that yeah how is that for you yeah you know historically i've always had an issue with watching anything that i'm in uh including interviews it's just like the experience of like being an actor like for me i got into it to disappear into roles and kind of hide you know and so now the fact that like people recognize my face and stuff it's like a little bit shocking um but it's since it's been so long i can now watch it and feel completely detached that makes sense from 13old me. And I can just watch it and enjoy it like I'm a fan.

And I am a fan. It must be incredibly meta for you. I mean, obviously, it doesn't take much self-awareness to know that you're about to turn 30. But nevertheless, being in that movie about a young girl who's 13 who wishes she was 30 and then she becomes 30. And now you're like oh fuck did that make you feel a certain way because you know growing up i the one thing we always lack

and we'll talk a lot about it is perspective growing up like it's the hardest thing to have you have to live it to get the experience and the perspective and no matter what our friends family and parents tell us sometimes we just have to learn by fucking up on our on ourselves ourselves and then when we get to certain birthdays like 25 i freaked out you know i had a really bad 25th birthday how has that been like this being a part of this movie and getting older and living life, has that helped you getting older? Does that make it, is it even a more kind of like, I never thought I would turn this age being the 13 year old girl who's like, I wish I was 30 and you were 13 filming the movie and being like, that'll never happen to me. Or were you wishing you were 13 when you were 30? And how do you think about

getting to this age and and what are your thoughts on it because a lot of people struggle getting older yeah um it comes up on you quick yeah 30 does i'll say that much it all does i um it gets quicker it gets quicker yeah um it came up quick. 13 feels like yesterday. I mean, it truly does. But I think that at 13, I was probably wishing, you know, more like to be 30, but not in the way my mom would always say, Krista, don't be in such a hurry to grow up. And it's not that I was in a hurry to grow up, but I wanted to experience everything life had to offer. And I still feel that way. Like I just want to explore. I want to learn things. I want to meet people, see the world, all of that. So it's not about,

you know, growing up too fast. I just want to have all the experiences. But it is interesting that I became sort of the poster child for turning 30 because I think that I'm a good person to carry that weight because I don't ascribe any sort of like negative thing to it at all. Great. I think, you know. Have you never had a birthday where you were just like, fuck, didn't want to turn this? No. I have never let any sort of like metric define me in that way i feel very great you know personally

capable to like define myself by my achievements my aspirations um and i think that people need to stop defining themselves by all the metrics the number in your bank account the number on your birth certificate the number of followers you have or likes or views you get i just you know numbers it's it's really just a number x's how many divorces we've had your um what is that called your number yeah your body count right your body count yeah doesn't we have a lot of women calling in and and guys, I guess, who have lived a life that didn't go out how they planned it. And they are in their mid to late 20s, early 30s, mid 30s, and they are thinking to themselves, can I start over? What does that look like? And there's always a lot of fear and resentment, or not resentment, a lot of fear about what the world will think of them

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With Noom, sign up for your trial today at Noom, N-O-O-M dot com slash V-I-A-L-L. It took me, I'm jealous that you've had this perspective this whole time because maybe it's in my analytical brain that I had to get to a place where I had to stop caring about numbers. But I wasn't always that person. Were you, when it comes to your growing up and starting to date in your young life, did numbers matter to you? What do you think about couples early on in dating exchanging the count, if they will? The count body count numbers you know it's it's not a conversation that i prioritize and i do think that if somebody brings that up with me like first thing it really shows you where they are in their evolution as a person um if that's a priority you know i mean i agree but what do you mean by that how so like uh you know there's just so many things that i would get to before that like

what are your values in life and um you know where do you see yourself what like like what do you want from a relationship what do you value in a person and yeah if that's like a thing that comes up as something that's important to you i mean it's literally like someone asking how much money is in your bank account you'd be like what who does that i don't know is it a lot of people do you think it's a lot of people do it do you think it's different uh if a man asks a woman that versus if a woman asks a man that it's different only because society has somehow decided that like a woman is is somehow decreased in value if she has many sexual partners and a man is you know celebrated for it and stud

yeah like that whole thing is just so unfair totally you know i'm all about a sex positive man is looked at differently than a sex positive woman 100 where did that come from it's insane but also like just the fact that you have that conversation means that you're probably gonna assign some judgment to it right like it's gonna go one of two ways they're either gonna be like oh this person's uh you know they get around like i'm not into it or you're going to be like you know somehow you're put on a pedestal because you don't have very many like it's just neither outcome is great no you're absolutely right it it is a setup it's a judgment question it's a setup for failure almost every time because like some people would be turned off by, you know, having like one or two sexual partners ever kind of thing.

Like that's too many. Maybe it's my evolution as a person, but I find it. I don't ask the question to that point. But eventually, I think in a committed relationship, it would make sense to have conversations. Our past can be an indicator of our future what we've learned in past relationships is important right i think those are good conversations to have in relationships at the appropriate time and not necessarily as like a like a what's your number but like it happens but that being said i personally like in my dating

life i'm trying to find someone who matches me or compliments me in all aspects right and like i i've i've dated so therefore you know i've i've i have a a resume you know and so so have you had that talk with your girl? Like, have you thrown numbers out? No, we haven't had numbers. One time I kind of joked where I kind of guessed, you know? But I was like, it's lower than you probably think. And then she guessed what she thought my number was.

And I'm like, I'm not entirely sure, but it's way lower than that. Way lower. But my point is is that i would i felt comfortable and more connected to her knowing that she has also had part like it wasn't like a one or a two situation it was she's dated lived life you know had different experiences had some regrets with those experiences right like that to me was like oh thank god you know like it it made me more attracted to her i i would have felt uncomfortable had that that would have told me that we're just we're at different ass we're

we're just not connecting there and i don't i don't want to be the one showing, you know, I don't want to be your sexual guide. As they say. Yeah, like, nah. Like, I want to know that you've, to me, I find it to be an attractive thing. I found her, like, I still don't, I guess I don't know her number,

but because I didn't ask, but I know it's not one or zero or two kind of thing, right? And that made me more confident in our sexual connection. And is that how you feel when you're dating people? Or do you think it's a benefit to know that there's a, at least you're relating onto your sexual experience? Well, what I want to know is like, are people keeping diligent notes?

I think some people do. About like each experience and what does it entail like do you have you know names and phone numbers and and details about the experience like how many times you had sex or like like how do you come up like this number thing i can just follow that journey like as far as it goes like how diligent are people getting with their note taking i have seen some people on tiktok with spreadsheets uh there are people who make lists they write it down and and i've like i've heard more i've heard automatically assigns a douche factor oh i i've heard i've heard as many women doing that as men and but but the intention i think is different i think men

will do it is a notch on the belt so to speak a conquest if they will and the women i know do that are more like uh just kind of uh just tracking my notes as if like you know just i'm just keeping tabs like a journal friendly reminder of what yeah it's a yeah that's more of a journal it's totally journaling yeah totally journaling yeah um women will journal though yes and i love the like brief notes that someone will get we'll put like uh you know smelled like eucalyptus or like you know just really specific notes about the experience like you know took me for a fast drive in his lamborghini or like whatever but i do i totally agree with you i think it's uh the the question the premise is set up for judgment especially if you're asking it early on if you're asking it as a way to like on the first couple dates so i want to know like now that you know that you're gonna

have that conversation eventually like it's it's you know is going to come up and you're going to talk specific numbers. Does it give you any sort of like anticipation or is it something that you think about often? Like what is the number going to be like? Like picking lottery numbers and then finding out whether or not. I don't anymore. Like I said, I don't think i'll ever know her number because i'll never specifically ask i just know he doesn't want to know i know i would i don't know she like it was more like she didn't offer like we like one night we were like drinking and having

fun and just like talking about stuff and it wasn't the environment wasn environment wasn't like interrogating, you know, it wasn't like, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We had been, you know, we knew each other for over a year. The first time we even talked about it in any type of detail. And she didn't want to tell me her specific number. I don't care. You know, it's not going to make a difference to you how you feel about her knowing that.

Correct. But I always knew that she had experience, right? And I'm just saying I found that comforting. And you're right. I think it was because I didn't want to make it about sex or anything like that. And yeah, people do it all the time. And it's interesting how men and women do it for different reasons.

But I always say the questions you get asked on dates are as important as the questions you ask. And that will tell you a lot. And if you feel judgment, if you feel judged on a date, then chances are you're being judged. Yes. Yeah. What Susie says about Sally says way more about Susie than it does about Sally. I've never heard that. Run that back.

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for 15% off blenders rocked with pride worldwide. Rocked with pride worldwide. Yeah, it's a... Yeah, again, it's all part of this like attempt by society to assign value to a person using all these different metrics and you know depending on how kind of spiritual spiritual you are like I think that we are inherently valuable as people just because we exist you know beyond the things that we accumulate in this lifetime you know including our experiences and and so putting a number on anything be it

age or sexual partners i'm just like why what about the contents of my mind age is just a number from age is just from 13 going on 30 you heard it here first no i mean i you're not going to get a disagreement from me i was uh at a gathering over the weekend and i came into a conversation with uh women debating uh dating and it seemed to be a conversation that was driven by an actual event and they were would you be mad or what's the situation and it was they were talking about uh having friends of the opposite sex um when you're like your boyfriend well with your boyfriend and girlfriend do you have any thoughts on that? Oh, gosh. I look forward to hearing what you have to say about this

because I've always been very open-minded and like, oh, yes, heterosexual males and females can be just friends. But as time passes, I wonder about that one because every time I break up, it feels like there are many mans waiting in the wings. From your guy friends. Yeah. Where they're like, hey.

Like just waiting for the opportunity, you know? Yeah. I think, well, one, I think guys, men and women can be friends and platonic friends, but it's not the same as a heterosexual relationship. You know, my my women friends who were very much just friends. Right. I know the brother and sister, if you will, type of relationship. That was a thought of like, I'm not I don't there's no interest. I don't want to see you naked i don't want to nothing there nevertheless there would be while i was a single guy in some ways they filled the role of what it would be a girlfriend let's go grab a movie

and dinner you know and while still very platonic it would like you know we would hang out with each other more and then if they got a boyfriend we would naturally hang out less and it wasn't because we were less of friends it was because the space is filled the space is filled right and i think it is a red flag if you're in a committed relationship but you're not recognizing that space should be filled by your new boyfriend or girlfriend and you there should be only like it's a little it can become problematic and weird to make to to maintain the amount of times you're grabbing dinner with your girlfriend friend friend that's a girl if you now and i'll have a if you're in a committed relationship and vice versa like how much are

you fighting for that relationship i think can raise like some red flags well it becomes an issue of you know the amount of quality time you're spending and who is prioritized in your life yeah and then there's the question of like well i trust you but how much do i these friends and then there's a i do they have ulterior motives women will say uh you know like i heard with like a lot of women in this group like well yeah you don't know she's hitting on you but i know i'm a woman i have an intuition guys will say the same thing it's just like i know what it's like to be a dude he wants to have Sex with you right yeah and these are Are both true true

Statements but Yeah and it is often The case sometimes people will pretend To be friends because They just want to stay close afraid to ask They're afraid to like take the leap Of faith yeah and then they see a window You know they'll were you know they meet To be friends i'm not creepy i don't i'm not you have

a boyfriend and they befriend your boyfriend you befriend your boy which is key i will say you have is that the hack all right let it be known it's not a hack i think if if if you're gonna make it work it's incumbent on the friend to go out of their way. Like if my girlfriend, right? She has guy friends, right? Yeah. I'm not asking you to stop being friends with guys. But like if they want to be friends with you, they should want to be friends with me.

It's not your job to make them friends with me. But does it make you feel any type of way thinking that, you know, many of those friends, there's a possibility that they're waiting in the wings for i an opportunity i'm very physically attracted to my girlfriend i think she's great i just assume that every guy would absolutely have sex with her yeah if she was down it's a good assumption that is a fair assumption like assuming your girlfriend any single available guy any single available guy yeah and would try it and and if she was like you want to have sex i like i'm

i'm just gonna bet that they wouldn't be like nah maybe i'm sure i like i maybe this is my blind like confidence in my girlfriend that's where the that's where the uh i have to trust her more than anyone else and i can't necessarily worry i can't worry about everyone else takes too much energy trying to trust everyone in fact i shouldn't trust them but at a bare minimum he should still want to be my friend even if deep down he would probably sleep with her this also really speaks to your confidence and personal security because you trust yourself not to, you know, get jealous in a way that is going to like interrupt those friendships. one of the girls described a situation where she was with her boyfriend and she like went to the bathroom or something she like left and she overheard a girl like in a coffee shop or i don't know where they were but she heard the girl saying oh she now's my shot i'm gonna swoop in. I'm going to swoop in and go for it. And she acknowledged how she got so mad.

And, and she came back without realizing where the girl was. I don't know where, but she like said, you know, this fucking bit, you know, and she kind of went off on the girl to her boyfriend without realizing the girl was right behind her.

And then she said she felt a little silly. And then, but she's like, yeah, fuck it. I actually felt good because I expressed myself and i was just like yeah and all the women in the room were like yeah that would piss me off and oh my god i would be so mad and i would it make you mad because i actually had a different point of view given that story of of of seeing watching in action a a woman knowing that you're his

girlfriend and and trying to make their move on your boyfriend i know that the knee-jerk reaction is to be jealous and to be angry and i I know that that, you know, I would feel those feelings, but ultimately in my head, I know that a person is going to do what the person wants to do. And if my man wanted to go for it with that girl, he's going to do it. Whether I'm, you know, whether I intervene or not, whether I chew her out or not, it's not up to me. And it's, you know, that practicing non-attachment to any and all outcomes i actually was thinking about this a lot on the drive here like once you truly can i swear on the show once you truly do not give a fuck everything comes to you whether it be you know career stuff money love once you truly let it go that's when it just wants to magnetize to you and so i think you know even in a in a circumstance like that you know she's

she's trying to swoop in and you say to him like go for it if that's what you want like well i'm gonna stop you that's what i was just like you know it was i i like walked in on it and and like they know i have a podcast about relationships i'm like well what do you think and i was like i have a different perspective and like you're i'm not saying you're wrong i mean i get it you feel how you feel because i can't tell you to feel a certain way yeah i mean i get it i would understand like she doesn't respect your space but like me personally in a relationship i get a bit turned on in that situation that's the thing because it's transgressive well another thesis of mine oh my god do go on well if i again i find my girlfriend to be attractive and Oh, this is controversial.

I love it. When the world gets back to normal, you know, we're fully back. We're going to travel. We're going to go out. And I have no doubt that she is going to get hit on. You hope she gets hit on. Sure. You can see that she's still desired by other people. And it turns you on because you're the one who has her.

I don't want to hover around her or be afraid to go to the bathroom because someone might hit on my girlfriend. No, God, no. And so knowing that I trust her, and I go to the bathroom, and I come back, and all of a sudden I see a guy wanting to buy her a drink thank you you saved me eight dollars like I'm I'm good bro like she's not gonna do shit with you you know like oh you know I don't really care I have an absolute trusting confidence in her to not do anything some people would would say, well, how,

doesn't that make you nervous that you're putting all that trust? And it's just like, listen, the upside of that trust I have in her, and it does, there's a turn on of like, it's a, you want this person so much, but she is gonna, you know, be nice and friendly, indulge your, but like, she's not going anywhere and she might drink

your drink you buy her but she doesn't owe you anything she's not gonna do anything with it and like she's gonna come back to me that's there's a sense of power and pride and a turn on and having that happen time and time again is worth it on the off chance that like i'm wrong that one day she breaks my heart i see it and i and the only thing that's gonna hurt is my e and i'll yeah it'll hurt i'll be wrong it'll fuck me up a little bit don't get me wrong but i would rather live in a situation where i get the upside of seeing my beautiful girlfriend get hit on and like feeling good about the fact that she's desired rather than like losing my shit because i can't

trust all these other guys nor should i and i can't trust you know women can't trust other women yeah like women are gonna be like i can't i don't trust any of these other women i was like nor should you no of course not you can trust a snake to bite you you trust people to behave exactly as they're gonna behave but i couldn't imagine living in such fear that one day the right guy is going to come around and she's going to be like, eh, it's worth it. And like, if that's the case, then you know what? Then it wasn't meant to be. That wasn't your person. You're not it for me.

You're not my person. And you got to live with that. And ultimately, you know, life can only be lived forward, but understood backwards. Right. Ultimately, you know, life can only be lived forward, but understood backwards, right? And you look back on it and you're like, oh, that person was a mirror to teach me the lesson that I needed to learn to get to this next beautiful place in my life. And, you know, I find that looking back on these situations, inevitably, like there's some silver lining or at least some lesson in it every single time.

Yeah, totally. some silver lining or at least some lesson in it every single time yeah totally and it's not gonna be like you're not gonna feel anything yeah oh you feel it yeah and don't get me wrong there might be a time where like you i could see like a super attractive guy and i'll be like he's super hot like i feel like a little but you gotta just you gotta lean on that trust and in la too like the probably the the you know events and stuff that we're both going to it's like not only are they hot but they're like some of the most accomplished people in the world sometimes and you're like what like how can i compete with that like that person's on you know the number one tv show or you know it's like there's a whole other level to it where, you know.

So have you always had that confidence level or is that something you've had to experience? No, I had to work on that. I'm a Scorpio, so, you know. What does that mean? We can be pretty jealous. So Scorpios are naturally jealous. Yeah, well, we're fiercely loyal and protective and like intense and deep i think i can be all those things i'm fiercely loyal

and i certainly can be intense and sure i'm deep you didn't seem so sure on that one oh it's one of those things like i mean yeah i yeah i think i yeah yeah totally um no but but does that does that equate necessarily do you have to be jealous to be all those other things no and then jealousy is oh it's 11 11 um jealousy is one of those things where uh so i learned my biggest lesson on jealousy in a very specific relationship. I had this boyfriend and he was just one of the smartest people I've ever met. And like a socialite. He was so good with people.

And just he would like flit about life in such an effortless, you know, elegant way. He was like a dandy. He was like Willy Wonka. He was like a dandy. He was like Willy Wonka. He was like a magic man. And so it would present in situations like we would go to dinner at like the hottest restaurant in town or something. We'd be in London and it'd be packed on a Saturday night and we couldn't get in. But he was so like flirty and charismatic and engaging that he would go up to the maitre d' and he'd be like, you know, do you have a spot for two? Like we want to sit on the patio and make these like outrageous requests that nobody else would make. And they'd be like, bro, no, like we're at capacity. What are you talking about? And the way

that he would flirt with the hostess or whatever to to ultimately do something nice for us really opened my eyes to what like you know what that could be like flirting is not necessarily always about like just ending up in a relationship with someone it has so many other utilities i yes i I feel like we could talk forever about this. As someone who has been described as a flirt his whole life that doesn't, I've never, I've been accused of flirting and I was like, what am I? I don't know.

I just thought I was being friendly. And you're right. Like, did he did so when in that situation, did you at your most insecure or jealous? Did you question his motives in that moment of like, why are you being so friendly to her? Oh, yeah. I mean, I was like, exactly. I was like 21, 22 at the time, I think. And yeah, I would take him to the sign and be like,

what are you doing? Like flirting with, you're flirting with the hostess. We're here on a date and you're flirting with the hostess. And it was just this, like, he was so calm and he'd be like, baby, I did it for us. Don't you see? I did it for us. It's a tricky situation though, because what if, could that be,

where do you draw the line between like you know a little gaslighting little manipulation versus yes right right the way she just said that was a little gaslighting this is like maybe i did for us yeah well i mean he was faithful to me in the relationship so that's it so that's where that's where it gets complicated start sleeping with the hostess maybe i did it for us no but it's you know but you know all jokes aside i think that's where it's important to like be self-aware of your feelings i mean duh but if you feel jealousy and you feel insecurity it is okay to express that to your partner. I think sometimes people often confuse that in relationships where the only option to express jealousy and insecurity

is in the moment with all the feelings and feels that you were feeling rather than... Or an anger, yeah. Or an anger rather than being like, hey, babe, I'm going to recognize that there's maybe a possible scenarios of why this all played out but i'm just going to tell you how i felt without any accusations of your intentions but just my feelings and i just want to talk through it to see if we can get to a mutual

understanding yeah and perhaps next time could you do this uh communicate your needs in that moment when you do this it makes me feel this do you think that you could would you be open to you know um and express your needs people yeah responding with that like explosive emotion i feel like is most people's go-to but flirting really is something i think a lot of people struggle with in relationships because it's a thing that we probably were attracted to our partner when we were getting to know them. It was like, oh, you're so charming and friendly to be around.

And yes, they were probably really flirting with us and vice versa. But maybe it's just their natural thing to just kind of know how to again you're right in that situation with your boyfriend he probably in a way technically was flirting like what is flirting if nothing else then it's making another person feel good yes yeah and isn't that what we should all be doing at all times is lifting up those around us and if you're you know have a bit of self-control it doesn't you know for most people it doesn't have to mean that like you want to bang that person you're just like spreading positivity yeah it's actually something i just realized in the moment maybe like natalie is i wouldn't describe her as a flirt. I think she's like a ninja flirt

because she's just really good at being nice all the time. And she's nice to everyone. So if I see her being nice to, I think that's maybe the difference too. It's who they choose to be nice to if it's timely. Like Natalie is just always present and always like, how was your day? I really love that about you. What a great, she's always like focused on the person in front of her,

even when I'm with her, like a grocery store checkout person or whatever. So I've never saw, and I don't think I'm not as good at that. So I could see how if I were to be at a restaurant and be like, hey, you know, she'd be like, wait, where did this come from? You're not this way all the time. Right. Where she is more constantly. And I wonder if it's me never thinking about her being a flirt,

even though I guess I know she is. But it's because she's just kind on a consistent basis and thoughtful where some of us, including myself, aren't always, I have to turn it on. Well, and that's where I think we need to evolve as a society because people interpret, interpreting kindness as flirting can be problematic. True, yeah.

Yeah. People do that all the time. You know, every like guy that I meet and am nice to at a party thinking that i want to go on a date with them is oh yeah there's that other aspect it's not useful for anyone like we just need to we just need to really develop that self-awareness well and that's the hard part too about like being a young woman who's like going out and seeing people you have to like it's either yeah be nice to people and have people assume that means you want to go home with them or completely be a bitch

which is not helping anyone so then it's like where do you draw the line yeah yeah so men and women are very much both guilty for different ways of misinterpreting kindness and friendliness and and i guess basic level flirting is you want to have sex with that person or they want to you know like i think it's just everyone's lonely everyone just wants to be yeah but even before the pandemic we were misinterpreting yeah we were lonely before the pandemic too um yeah no but but i think what happens and it's such a shame is that on that topic of like what initially drew you to your partner is that, you know, over the course of a relationship, you see those circumstances happen and then you like talk your partner down. You're like, oh, that makes me feel insecure when you like are nice to that person.

What happens inevitably is you like dull someone shine you take their light from them through all of those little micro uh situations don't do this don't do that that bothers me and and it over time it all adds up and it it turns into this thing where like you've taken away what initially attracted you to that person so how did you at 21 22 were your first reaction in that situation that you described was to get jealous or insecure and flirt when did you develop that self-awareness to to not have that be your first reaction and all while still appropriately addressing your feelings if you felt like it needed to be addressed at some point it's hard to do well there was a lot of

growth in that relationship in general but something a girlfriend said to me at that time really landed with me and you kind of touched on it earlier and that was that when you are in love with someone you cannot understand how everyone else in the world wouldn't also see that person as like the greatest thing to ever exist yeah yeah and when you realize why don't you want to have sex with my girlfriend right you're like clearly this is the greatest human to walk the earth like Like everyone would want to be with them. But that's not the case. It's really not the case. Not everyone's going to see in your person what you see in your person. So that was liberating for me.

True. And even if they do, they still choose you. Like every day waking up and having them be your choice. People always ask like how do you keep the spark in relationships right which is a very tough question for because every relationship is different and you know time is just wears you down but if you can try to wake up it's like you have to be if you accept the possibility that at any moment your relationship can end scary but at the same time then you wake up every day and be thankful that it hasn't and every day they chose you every day that happens is a bit of a wow me? You want to still be with me?

What a win. Wow. Same to you, babe. You know? And I think that's kind of, it's a tightrope of not taking it for granted. That's why I've always constantly said like this idea of like,

so this preordained or predestined love or fate or there's this one person. The one. Is a recipe for stale a staleness and disappointment and disappointment and because it's just like you know well because you have to choose each other every single day yeah 10 years and you're like why are we together i don't know because like that was part of the plan that's what we do it's a plan we did it then and we're doing it now and so here we are yeah so recognizing that your relationship is fragile without getting jealous and insecure and and being a neurotic mess because

you're like oh fuck it could end at any day i don't know what i'm gonna do but but appreciating and then waking up and having that person choose you and they're and they're with you because they want to be with you not because because it's like, fuck, I don't know. I promised is a, is a great way to keep the spark going. Indeed. And,

and I feel like a lot of people do just kind of stay in a relationship because like, that's, that's what we do. You know, we made this promise. Yeah. What are some things that you didn't,

other than the things we already talked about, things that you didn't other than things we already talked about things that you didn't think about yourself and how you approach relationships and say your early teens and 20s versus now heading into 30 I don't know if I understand the question like what have I improved

no we're just like how do you see things differently you know in terms of like um like did you like make lists like we had that question a lot like did you make lists before if i want like this this this this this sure let's build an apartment when you were younger but now that's not like a situation i'll give you an example right i when i was in my early in my 20s i had a girlfriend who once again i thought she was attractive and i think she had a confidence in herself and she would talk about well she didn't think she'd ever do it the idea of posing for playboy excited her and that was like and i

remember we would fight over the thought that she just acknowledged that it would be like maybe a dream, but also by the way, I could never do it kind of thing. And I would be it. I would like, so, so first of all, we decided that she wasn't going to do it.

We decided. I don't mean we, but like we decided. I didn't mean it like that. I'm saying like, we came to like, can we just apologize to her right here, right now on the air?

I didn't mean like, I wasn't a part of that decision making process. Nick was her manager. He said not today. But like what I meant by is like I understood, I wasn't worried about her doing it, even at the early 20s. And yet I was so bent out of shape and still argue with her about like it bothering me that she would even want to. It was a very kind of possessive type of

mentality that i had in my early 20s ah okay whereas perhaps modern day you would be like so that desire that you have is maybe like some sort of exhibitionist thing and how else can we fulfill that fantasy well my my response at this point in my life is like, you know, whatever dreams that you have, babe, I'm here to support. And as long as like you're okay, like I'm more like, let's just think if you're coming, if you're asking my advice, my only advice would be like, just think about how you feel about this choice 10 years from now as much as you can, as much as you're thinking about it now. And then whatever you decide, I support you. But I remember being way more possessive and giving a shit about things. And I guess my point of all that whole story was I was arguing with my girlfriend at the time

about things that she said she wasn't going to do. But she... Just because it was in her heart. But she was expressing a fantasy. Yeah. And her fantasy made me insecure about, I don't know, myself or what she was going to, you know, to that point where like, that's nuts. As opposed to getting older. And not only again, like it's not even about her doing it.

It was embracing that fantasy is something that we could have fun with and play around with in our relationship. And I had to learn that through my own maturity and confidence because, I mean, I think about these fights and it was all my fault. And it would be like I would I just wouldn't let it go and be like, do you still maybe what it was nuts. It's totally nuts. But yet I did. i did those things embarrassingly so and i guess that's a different between me at like 21 versus me now yeah and and those are the things that you can only learn through like horrifically challenging you know conversations or fights that you have with people um that's a big one for me. I used to have, you know, I would fight with boyfriends when I

was in my early 20s. Now I choose not to. And I don't end up with partners that fight really. I don't fight. I don't. I was with someone for four years. We separated recently. and the most gorgeous thing about the whole relationship was that we didn't ever say anything that we couldn't take back to this day there's nothing that he said to me or I said to him that I'm like oh that's cringy we never said an unkind thing we would just communicate rationally and we would have you know the same tensions over and over again that ultimately led to us not being together. But, you know, when you get to a point of communication mastery, like there's no reason to end up in like, you know, these big fights that you see in movies where you're like throwing cell phones and, you know, physically fighting and whatever. I just don't think it has to come to that point.

So that has been a big change for me. Yeah. I just don't think it has to come to that point. So that has been a big change for me. Yeah. I just don't engage. If someone wants to yell and scream, I'm like... Do you think there's a situation where... We make mistakes. Totally. But if someone in a relationship

says something to someone that they have to get over, you know what I'm saying? Like they said something that was so hurtful and they said it out of anger. If that person who heard the, received the criticism or the, and they have to actually consciously get over it

to your point that the other person had to regret it, is that immediate grounds for considering ending that relationship? I wouldn't say it's immediate grounds for ending the relationship. Or at least being open to it. You have to consider that that's never going away. Yeah. And so you choose a partner based on that.

Like, does this person understand nonviolent communication? Because if they don't, it will eventually lead to that. Or happen again. For sure. And probably get progressively worse. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. If they've done it once, they're going to do it again. People tend to get more like themselves, not less.

And that relationship you're in that you did that, was that a... You had a relationship in the past that wasn't like that. So was that a combination of you two being like, this is how we're going to have this relationship? Or did you, you know, like for me, it's something that has been more active.

Like I wasn't in relationships in the past where it got, I've been in toxic relationships in the past. And again, you can have two normal people. That are just a bad, they bring out the worst in each other. And sometimes, you know, like I'm a level headed, I don't like to get, you know, fired up. It makes me feel very unsettled. So I don't like to get fired up. It makes me feel very unsettled. So I don't.

So that's something I've actively looked for in relationships. Communication was huge for that very reason. I felt like if I couldn't find a way to communicate early on, I wouldn't go further in that relationship. Right. A person will let you know very early whether they can communicate well. And I don't know if any of us want to be in a situation where we're like training someone how to communicate.

You're either on that level or you're not. Yeah, that's true. All right. So are you dating now? Are you back in a relationship or in a different relationship? I'm just having fun. Great.

What are your thoughts on hookup culture? I support whatever people want to do um for me like i'm attracted to very like specific people and it's never it's never who like everyone else is attracted to like i don't know people talk about uh celebrity crushes or whatever and they're like oh my god chris evans or like uh who's the guy with the long hair that plays the um i don't know i can't i don't know it's hemsworth oh like oh yeah him too or the the the super like manly what's that yeah jason momoa yeah just jason momoa not my thing either he doesn't do it for me either yeah i don't know you know for, it's never like people are like, oh my God, your co-star is so hot.

Who's your celebrity crush? Well, that's the thing is that I don't, I literally am not attracted to people just based on their looks. For me, it is all about the mind and I'm so turned on by a very smart person. And so- How do we feel about Stanley Tucci's like coming?

He's really. Did you say Stanley Tucci? My. Are you trying to matchmake me with Stanley Tucci? No. But like he's so. I find it. He is someone who my brother's ex-wife years ago would be like, I have such a crush on Stanley Tucci.

And I was just like. See, that would be. i have such a crush on stanley tucci and i was just like see that would be i was like what but recently she i've come to find out not alone he is he's definitely become a sex icon yeah it's that like austere yeah women love funny men um i can see that i could see that. I could see that. But, so wait, do you, if I,

if, gun to your head, who's your celebrity crush? Oh, Lord. Albert Einstein. Living celebrity crush. Oh,

God. Prepare to get canceled, Krista. Elon Musk. It's like, that's okay. That's my type. Why would I get you canceled?

I love that journey for you. Yeah. Oh, Lord. There's a lot of like that nerdy type. A lot of upside, I guess. Yeah. He's, you know, he's changing the world. He is.

So ambitious. Completely changing transportation as we know it. Maybe he's going to save global warming. I don't know. Maybe not. He's going to make us an interplanetary species one way or another. Yeah. I just would never go for like a Hemsworth over someone that smart.

I just, it's the brain for me every time. I mean, he's like super smart. Yeah. Yeah. Intimidatingly. So yes. Where it's just like, I want to think I understand what you're saying.

Yeah. But like, Oh yeah. I met him once at a, at a party and was just like, was it Seth McFarlane's? No. Cause I saw him once at a party taller than I would have thought. He's a big guy.

He's a big guy. He's a big guy. Yeah. You got to, you know, house that big old brain somewhere. Did they hit it off? Like, what was the interaction? Oh, yeah. You met him. Did you talk?

So I do this thing when I'm intimidated where I go all, like, aloof. Sure. So I was fucking terrified. Sorry. I was terrified and just kind of pretended that I didn't see him until the host introduced introduced me and i was like i was wearing this i was like you're like i think we need to get married no he was he was uh he was spoken for but um i was wearing this really cool coat that was very environmentally friendly uh produced it's like a recycled thing it's a really cool uh brand that does these coats and so i just sort of had this word vomit about my coat.

I was like, you like the environment. Let me talk about my coat. It was mortifying. Oh, that's fine. Do you think he will remember you? You know, he just might. It was a very small gathering and a distinctive coat. What can I say? He's in a relationship yeah he is

yeah yeah yes he's got a baby right he does yeah he's got a baby yeah who knows stepmom krista oh lord no no oh god how do you think people in the dating scene should balance dating multiple people at the same time because you know like if you're dating you're out there and you're on dating apps and you're swiping and we have this abundance of choice and like you're not in a committed relationship and if you're not a committed relationship then you have the option to go on multiple dates it can get very messy very fast and very unclear especially if you start hanging out with someone on a somewhat regular basis. And then when you see maybe throw in sex,

maybe you start rounding some bases or, and where, how do you think people should handle that? Is it different for the men and women? And how do you think communication should play out in that scenario? When I figure it out, I'll let you know. All I can say is, is communication is key and making your needs known. You know, if you need commitment, if you need to know that they're been seeing someone else um you have to communicate it up front that way you can't you know think that you've been burned after true so i'll give you a

scenario and let me i want to how you would handle it uh you go on a date, goes great. It goes so well that you guys hook up the first night. I wouldn't call that a one-night stand, but you know each other, you know each other's name, but first great date. And then you both mature adults recognize that, like, well, we had a great night, and we did all the bases, and we did all the things. Still a lot to know about each other,

but I'm excited to get to know you, but, like, let's hang out next week. But since you don't really know this person and you realize that like it could go either way, you may be going on another date. Like how much does sex change, even though you're not in a committed relationship, the amount of communication that needs to happen early on

at the risk of hurting, does sex change the commitment level in a non-committed relationship almost yes and the communication level big time i mean you're talking about people's personal safety yeah emotional safety i think you have to once you've decided to make that leap, you have to go full tilt with the communication as well. Who's, is it,

is it incumbent upon one of the other parties or, or do you have to just be open to it? If you're emotionally invested, look, if you're just hooking up with someone, you know, because you want to and, and you don't want to be alone,

that's different. you know, because you want to and you don't want to be alone. That's different. And I think you wouldn't necessarily go as deep there with that communication. Yeah, no, I agree. I always just tell people it's once you have sex, then you have the right to ask whatever questions you want to know about that person's activity. So long as you're prepared to deal with the answer. Exactly.

Because it's very likely something that you don't want to hear. You might not get the answer you want. Because what often happens is we don't ask the questions because we're afraid of the answers. Yeah. But I think it's important. And I think women deal with this unfair judgment at all because men don't want to be like a dick, but women don't want to sound crazy. It's like, well, men don't want to be like a dick but women don't want to sound crazy you know it's like well i don't want to sound crazy or sound desperate sound desperate

i mean i barely know him he only went on one date i'm like well you guys had sex like i think you have the right to ask what he's up to i also think that men pretend that or or there's this perception that that you know sex doesn't mean as much to men. But I think that men get very attached too. I think y'all are emotional. And a lot of this structural stuff that we've all become used to is actually to protect these highly emotional creatures that are men. I think they very much can, but not always. If he likes the girl and they they have sex then he yes mush mush city

in and very vulnerable and because then i think there's a double standard like even men will be like well i like you and we had sex so and now i have the right to be super gushy and emotional and almost too much sometimes i think that can get complicated that's where the double standards i think with any luck i love an emotional man uh yeah well if you love him back but like sometimes guys can be like well wait we had you know like men have a way of sometimes demanding emotion from women unfairly if they if once they decide to like a girl right you know it's like i like you know right uh do you love me do you love me i love you you know we've had sex and meanwhile but but yes i think and we've talked to like dr brunner and other things like that women seem to have an emotional

connection on a more regular basis with sex where guys don't always have that and they seem to more easily disconnect in a sex situation and they don't necessarily have to feel feelings it seems to be the norm and so that's where it can get complicated where i think then women will feel more judged if they want to set any expectations up front now that they've opened up kind of like we're having sex and i don't want to sound crazy right right right i think that you know it's that giving receiving energy and the the giving is is definitely more of a you know a dominant a dominant energy and so the receiving can can be vulnerable and that's where that comes in you know

it's the emotional mirroring the physical it's just so it's uh it's a challenge out there oh would you ever break up with someone via text and when is it okay when is it not in the uh dating spectrum i never would i never would what about and i think it's one day completely unacceptable you go on one date no hooking up then you're not that's not a breakup you weren't you weren't okay so where in the spectrum where in the spectrum is it totally full bullshit to text someone like you in a committed like we define the relationship we're boyfriend and girlfriend for six months okay we agree that's bullshit but when is it when is it okay to be like hey listen this isn't working for me you know you know i mean especially

a lot of people everyone assumes and that's where we are we are we're making everyone mad because a lot of people just assume that's where ghosting comes in the situation. So like, hey, we they knew we they knew we didn't vibe. I don't have to reach out to that person. And meanwhile, the other person's the other side of me like they ghosted me. They never I never heard from that person again. That's funny.

I've always joked that if I had a podcast, it would be called Where is the Line? Because there are so many topics like this where it's like, when does good become bad? When does black become white? There's so many things that it's like, where is the line? And this is one of them. But I just, I think, you know, like when you've had that intense emotional connection and people want to cop out and say it wasn't that serious. But that's because there's infinite choice now with the Internet and dating apps. It has created bad behavior in people. I'll tell you the solution to that. Montana.

Less than infinite choices. No, because you could be talking to someone from anywhere. I was recently talking to someone in another state. And we met for the first time in a different state than the states that we both lived in and it's just like you're not limited anymore you know by geography um just be a stand-up person in any circumstance you know i never want to behave in a way that like somebody can look back on it and be like no i know but the only thing you're not considering is you might feel different. Like I agree that there's some situations that are pretty like black and white.

Okay. So is there a line for you? I don't really know. Yeah. I think it's, it's really, I think that the goal is to think about how that other person might be feeling. And then your first reaction and honest reaction, how they might be feeling is probably the right one without trying to be like, they don't really think they don't care as much. They're fine. They'll, they'll be okay.

And when you have to start justifying, and if there's an, any chance that you think they care more than you do, they probably do then trust your gut. Right. And if that's the case, then do what you would want someone to do to you, you know, kind of the golden rule of it all.

But I think more often than not, instead we will be like, it's not a big deal. They don't care. And they'll make up excuses like, well, it's just awkward and I don't want to hurt their feelings and they probably don't care anyways and I don't want to assume. And then we get into all these situations

where then we just opt out and choose to ghost and leave and leave people hanging and wondering questions and things like that. Yeah. For me... And all these people would claim

that they want to be good people. Oh, for sure. Nobody ever sees themselves as the villain. Yeah. But for me, in life, always play the long game do the thing that aligns with having

more character so even if you think oh they don't care it's not that big of a deal treat it as if it is a big deal and treat others with utmost care always I couldn't agree more let's wrap up and play a quick game of

do you know me we play this with all our our guests let's do it it's really easy um i'm gonna ask you a question chrissy myself and ally will guess the answer to this so don't answer right away okay and if you have an anecdotal story you want to share if your answer great if not no no problem okay all right do you know me with krista allen does krista consider uh herself to be an introvert or an extrovert i uh ambervert i was just about to say amber yeah you know she uh likes going out but she likes her alone time she likes her dog. She likes getting those one-on-one deep conversations at a party. Specifically with Elon. Specifically with the musk.

That is correct. Y'all clocked me. Very good. Historically, I've been an introvert. I've been an introvert, but I'm learning to be more extroverted, and I'm very proud of myself. Interesting, yeah. I'm learning to accept that I've always been more introverted than I've told myself.

I'm more of an ambivert as well. Look at us all growing. Magic. Evolving. That's that self-awareness. Has Krista ever accidentally sent an inappropriate text or email to the wrong person? I feel like you're too measured i feel like what is inappropriate like to the wrong person probably but i don't know if she's

like inappropriate it's text or email right yeah it could be anyone really oh i did not want to send to that person and i'm a little embarrassed not necessarily a nude or anything just a i feel like she's most definitely like for you accidentally texted the person that she's talking about i always do that like if i'm thinking about them and i want to text about them i'll accidentally send it to their name that's bad i'm gonna go with my gut i'm gonna go with yeah i'm gonna say no not really there was this one time um for a work thing it was like i thought it was a done deal uh so i screenshotted a text conversation and then sent it to the person. Oh, then yes. The text conversation was.

But yeah, that was the one time I am pretty measured and very well considered. I read an email 15 times before I send it. It's probably not healthy. Most of the things that we do serve us well and hurt us all at the same time it's true it's true uh question number three has krista ever tried to make someone jealous like consciously say i want to make them jealous oh like well like 22 year old krista perhaps but not 30 year old krista well this is ever ever I'm sure ever

like you can be on the playground showing like Billy your fancy Play-Doh and be like be jealous I'm gonna say no based on the idea this is about self awareness and then I think she may have made someone jealous but not in a

Machiavellian way where if she knew that she was doing it she wouldn't do it she would have been upset yeah i don't think it was intentional i agree i think y'all are wrong um great great i honestly yeah i i definitely uh i think success is the best revenge so the best thing anyone can ever do is doubt me. It like drives me so much. And so in that way, yeah, I'm kind of getting revenge all the time and like trying to make people jealous all the time. No pun intended. No pun intended, Krista. Exactly that. Revenge. Exactly that. And by the way, I recommend this to everyone. If someone has hurt you,

if some situation in life has hurt you go be the best version of yourself and you know flip that situation on its head it's better for everyone yeah yeah i uh yeah revenge get revenge i had an ex-girlfriend cry on my shoulders at her bachelorette party felt good why were you at her bachelorette party? Because she showed up at the place that I hung out with every Saturday. Seems intentional. That was a win for me. I want to see a dramatic reenactment of that on TikTok. No.

No, she's happy. Well, Nick's got the wigs for it. You got the wigs for it. You can do it. We'll write it. We'll do it. All right, Allie, pick this question just a heads up has chris ever used uh props for sex resex we're sex toy positive on this show so no judgment

well props doesn't necessarily need to be a sex so it could be a costume address but sex toys also would be a prop yeah yeah a prop yeah yeah i can't answer this question simple yes or no will suffice all i can say is you know self-love is very important yeah it is right ladies am i right we're sex positive and we have an all-female audience that will greatly appreciate the positivity uh last question has krista ever walked out on a movie on what a movie on a movie like it was so bad like turned it off because like yeah no you have to actively walk out no no i feel like no i will uh i will one up you and say that i walked out on a screening at a friend's house it was just so bad i went with a friend um there was this movie that was coming out i really wanted

to see it wasn't released for all these like technical reasons and my friend was like oh my friend produced that movie we can like just go to his house and watch it and halfway through the movie we were like we cannot stay to the end of this because he's going to be like, so what did you think of my movie? And we're going to have to tell him. So we said that we had to feed the dog or something and we just went home. Okay. I can't believe I admitted that. It's fine.

I hope I don't. I'm pretty sure your friend doesn't listen to this podcast. They'll never watch. They'll never watch. Krista, thanks so much much this has been so much fun thank you so much can you let the people know where they can find you on all things internet related

and then some I am Krista Allen on the internet yes at Krista Allen TikTok, Instagram, Twitter all the things great content out there our TikTok is so fun I'm new to the tiktok and i got like no i was like who's this person like wildly entertaining like oh it was like 13 going

on 30 yeah great you know i love tiktok i love tiktok you're crushing it with the dress and the thriller thing is like beyond oh wait until you see what I have planned for my 30th birthday. When is your 30th birthday? We are going to knock it out of the park. It's 11-11. I'm going to contact. This year. This year.

Coming up. Yeah. I want fans to be able to come. So I'm going to organize something where like fans can come. Can we come as fans? Yes. No, you're friends. You're friends.

But yeah, I'm going to get versace to recreate the dress like i want to go all out inviting jennifer and mark of course and you i mean i gotta say they can't they hit it on the park and casting not only obviously with your amazing acting ability but like you guys kind of look like each other as adults like i was i was on the same plane i never met jennifer in life but she was on the same plane as i and i walked in life, but she was on the same plane as I, and I walked past her. And so I guess I've seen her in person, but yeah, you,

there's a striking resemblance there. I'll take it. She is gorgeous inside and out. Yeah. I mean, truly. Well, thanks so much for coming.

This has been a ton of fun guys. Thanks for listening. As always, we appreciate you doing so. Don't forget to rate us five stars on iTunes, sending your questions at ask Nick atatcastmedia.com. Cast with a K. If you're interested in coming back for Ask Nick episodes

and give relationship advice to our dear callers out there sometime. Oh, we have callers calling in? Yeah. Yes. Wonderful. Let's do it. That's a lot of fun. So Krista will be back for that.

And yeah, so sending your questions. And if nothing else, we will see you back on Monday.