The Viall Files - E276 Hungover On Good Dick with Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Today on The Viall Files we are joined by friend-of-show, Nikki Glaser. Nikki has some new outlooks on dating and we dive deep into what is working for her, what she has done to change her perspective in relationships, as well as what she is reading about relationships and applying in life. Are women chemically connected to men they sleep with? Is it hot to let your boyfriend make-out with other girls?  Where is the line on cheating and honesty? Nikki never holds back and today is no exception when it comes to all the hot-button dating topics.  “… so you can be hungover from a really good dick for 2 years?” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Figs: http://www.wearfigs.com use code VIALL 15 at checkout for 15% off.  OUAI: http://www.theouai.com use code VIALL to get 15% off your entire purchase.  Beachbody: TEXT VIALL TO 303030 to get a special FREE trial, no obligation membership, with full access to the entire platform.   Public Rec: http://www.publicrec.com/NICK Public Rec RARELY discounts, but right now, they have an exclusive offer just for Viall Files listeners, use our code NICK to receive 10% off. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @nikkiglaser See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're crazy what's going on everybody welcome to another amazing episode of the vile files i'm your host nick and we got a doozy of an episode for you today. My dear friend and comedian and just all-around great gal, Nikki Glaser, is back with us. Nikki was one of the very first guests we ever had on The Vile Files, and since then she's been back for Ask Nick, she's been back for Bachelor Recaps, and she is back for just kind of a regular old interview and chit-chat. Has she been in studio before? Yeah. Oh, I've never seen her in studio, so that was fun.it chat has she been in studio before yeah oh i've never seen

her in studios that was fun this was her third time in studio nikki and i just kind of shoot the shit and boy do we we talked about some things yeah nikki really opened up it was great as always nikki doesn't disappoint with her hot takes and points of view and uh there's nothing i appreciate better than um someone with uh who likes to think about life and just kind of mix it up. She always gets me thinking. She got us thinking. I'll tell you that much. Agree or disagree, we always love to have Nikki on.

Anyway, yeah, she's so great. And I'm sure she'll be back again. Join us next week for a really fun interview with a gal named Tinks. Many of you know her. She's blown up on TikTok and a little bit on the gram. Just another hysterical woman with some great takes on dating. And one of the more fun conversations I've had. I mean, and I always like, I feel like I say that a lot.

And thankful we have some great guests, to be honest. And then another one, if you're looking for a relatable, smart individual, you'll want to listen to Tinks. Also, I'm just jealous of the fact that she's given herself a one-word nickname that's stuck. So, that's great. Nick Glazer, everybody. so that's great nick laser everybody hi hi nick so nice i'm still getting used to this last time we last time i did this setup you were here and then i wanted to try it again yeah it's intense what do you mean like looking at each other from across the table i mean this is like i feel like i'm on rogan or that's right

charlie rose he does yeah just this is it's very intimate i mean the only time we would you would sit across the table with someone like this is at a dinner no one meets well i guess getting coffee with a friend i feel i feel normal about it it's not that intense you get some hard ending questions for me or something no maybe probably but usually you know like i do i am sitting next to you usually in chairs like this. And so it's like we can look away. Eye contact like is weird. How are you with eye contact?

I could be better always. I feel like now I'm too focused on it. As a heady overthinker guy, you know, I do this kind of look up when I'm in my thoughts. Yeah. Which way is the lying look? Up and to the left, I think. Where you're like trying to search. Yeah.

Well, that's the same as thinking because it doesn't necessarily mean you're lying. I think it's an indication that you could be because the truth should just be like on the tip of your tongue, so to speak. And so if you're looking up and to the left, then you're thinking about an alternative answer rather than the truth. I, recently, I would say within the past year, quit lying 100%.

Not even white lies. This was an active choice. I read this book called Lying by Sam Harris, who is someone I admire a lot and just a philosopher and thinker that just hits me right where everything he says makes sense and he wrote this whole book oh my god he's brilliant you don't sam harris sam i mean you

don't like you don't read the book lying it's very short my actually my ex-boyfriend gave it to me because he was just i was constantly doing these white lies just to make him happy and he caught me a lot and he's like you lie a lot i was thinking about people like ask me why or how I'm good at relationship advice or whatever. And I was kind of thinking about like, okay, I guess I'm curious what, why I'm good. And then I thought to myself, I just, I operate under the idea that everyone is the biggest liar they'll ever meet. Themselves, right? They lie themselves a lot. Like we'll never meet anyone who's who lies with more than ourselves and then you you disagree i mean i'm working on myself in

a way that i don't even want to lie to myself anymore i know that's my goal usually but most people yes we're living in denial and we have a lot of it's not a big deal i don't i don't care or i do care and then and then I add it to the fact that like, and usually we're like when people call in or a friend, you know, or someone, a stranger will be like, I have this going on. They'll tell me their story and I'm hearing what they're saying, but I'm paying attention for the things that they're doing that don't add, don't, that don't match to what they're saying. Right. They're just like, this happened in this and X, Y, and Z. And I did this and I said this and I'm like, well, if you said and in this and x y and z and i did this and i said this

and i'm like well if you said and did this and if you want this and why are you doing that right right and that's all i'm really doing is paying attention to the lies that they tell themselves yes and oh my god relationships there's so many lies we tell ourselves constantly and that's most of what relationship advice is it's just being like honest you know that he's just not that into you it's just the most honest thing if If we're always honest, like I don't lie about, you know, I try not to lie about anything. I'm not perfect about it, but let's say if I were to say, oh my God, Nick, I drank so much coffee yesterday. I had like six cups of coffee. And then I go, I actually had four. I'm going to go, actually, Nick, I said six before to like make the story better. I had four. Like I want to

correct things like that. Like even I found out out that doing comedy the reason I'm good at comedy is because I'm good at telling the truth so I can just like do that all the time and lies have gotten me in so much trouble and it's so easy to just be honest like when I can't do something if I don't want to do let's say I woke up this morning and I was like too depressed to do this podcast or something like I was just in a bad state of mind I just found something out I would just tell you that I'd be like listen I can't do the podcast because I'm too like I would be honest with you as opposed to being like I'm sick or I mean I guess I could say I'm sick because that would fall under depression but I try to find a way not just semantically to just not ever lie and actually it's it's really great

because now in relationships, when I like someone, I just like kind of tell them right away. Like I make it very clear. I'm looking for a husband. Do you feel more powerful now? I just feel like if you're not on board, get out of here. Like, and I just know who I am and I know I'm weird about some stuff and I'm a lot in many ways, but I'm not trying to not be that anymore. I would like to slowly get better and be a better partner and better human. But the way I am now, I'm pretty damn good. And I don't have anything to be ashamed of. So if I'm like, I like you to a guy like I'm, I'm not scared of rejection because I don't know. I just, I guess I'm still a little scared, but like I, I recently

told someone I love them and I didn't even care if they loved me back because I was just like I can just say my feelings like I can always be honest with my feelings and men are like super horny for women's feelings most of the time well but like ever since how long you've been doing this now or attempting uh probably about like about a year like so do you but do you feel more when you say to a guy I love you and you know whatever you feel is fine because yeah you're just you're kind of like I say this stuff all the time for people to do. I don't, do you feel more empowered?

Do you feel like. I love it because it's, it's honoring the thing that you're, it's just honoring how you feel. And I think I've gotten so sad over the years because I've been told that I'm wrong for feeling the way I feel. But then I just realized like, whatever I'm feeling isn't wrong. I'm not trying to hurt anyone from my feelings. And I can just say them. I can be honest about them. There's nothing shameful about my feelings. I mean, there's so much shame that I have, things I should be shamed of, but I don't really hide

anything anymore. And I just, it felt freeing when I felt in love with someone and I was like, oh my God, this is a feeling like I want to tell them. And it wasn't to elicit it from him. It literally didn't matter if he said it or not. I didn't care. He did, but I didn't care. That's great. Yeah.

I want to, I want to ask you, like, do you, like, you just, you just said that men are horny for girls feelings. Yeah. Do you really feel that way? Well, I recently, I've talked about this book all the time, but there's a book called Getting To I Do, and it's the worst title for a book but it just talks about if you want a commitment with from a man you have to learn the science behind sex and how it bonds us to men and how um and how we're yin and yang and how there's masculine energy

and there's feminine energy and every relationship needs to have one and they can change throughout the relationship but then they the other person needs to flip so feminine energy is not like the greatest way to describe it because no man wants to be the feminine energy even though there's many men that are that but usually it's the woman role and then there's the masculine energy so the the the feminine energy only feels and like only expresses herself or his self, but mostly this is women, with I feel. And the feminine energy person should never come from a place of I think or I think. So the masculine energy, you should never ask a man who's a masculine energy man, which most men are. I'm saying like 90% of men are.

I'm in the 10% of women who are kind of a masculine energy woman. But most men are masculine energy if you're trying to get a man only come from a place of I feel and you can be completely honest with him all the time about your feelings but you can never say I think and he never ask him how he feels only ask him what he thinks because one person is thinking one person's feeling in a relationship you have to decide do you want to be respected for your thoughts or cherished for your feelings and if you want to be cherished for your feelings in a relationship, you have to decide, do you want to be respected for your thoughts or cherished for your feelings? And if you want to be cherished for your feelings in a relationship, which is what I want in

a relationship, because I'm respected for my thoughts everywhere. You know, it's like I'm a comedian, so I get respect. When I go home, I just want to be like, I'm sad and like be nurtured. So that's, so now I just feel with men. I just tell men how I feel all the time. It's great. According to this book, you can't flip. Oh, you can flip in a different way.

Like let's say, so when I, a person like me, I'm pretty much the same in bed too. I'm like more submissive and like more the feminine energy, like receiving. But some women are like very feeling in their relationship and then they get in bed and then they're the dominant one and then it flips. And then the guy becomes that. But you can't have both energies. Like if a woman's going.

Yes. In whatever situation. It works. My friends who have just read this book and adopted it and been like, okay, I'm not going to ever tell this guy who's clearly masculine and I'm feminine energy what I think. And I'm only going to ask him what he thinks. And you just have to show men like the basic line is. and I'm feminine energy, what I think. And I'm only going to ask him what he thinks. And you just have to show, man, like, the basic line is, it's a lot to get. You can't ask them how they feel.

Don't ask them how they feel. And it's acknowledging that men. Why is that again? Explain that. Because one energy, one, in a relationship, one person is respected for their thoughts and one person is cherished for their feelings. You cannot have both.

If you want both things in a relationship, you're a narcissist and you're probably going to end up alone. If you want have both. If you want both things in a relationship, you're a narcissist and you're probably going to end up alone. If you want both things? If you want both things. Because you got to get that other thing met somewhere else, but not in your relationship.

You need to be, someone needs to be the receiver and someone needs to be the giver. So it gets into- And this is a moment-to-moment situational thing, not like overall? No, it's pretty much overall. I mean, there's definitely times

where it can completely switch, like I said, said like the bedroom where it's like role play like the role switch so if i'm like i'm definitely a thinker yeah but i've noticed as i've gotten older i try to take my own advice like when i'm trying to communicate uh how i feel about something, I will say, well, this is how it makes me feel. And it seems to be received. And that's because she's the, she might be the masculine energy and you might be feminine energy. But wait, wait,

no, she's definitely not the masculine energy. But that's what I'm saying. But what I'm saying, if she, but I'm, I'm just trying to communicate to her. So she hears me when I tell her how you feel.

I want to tell her what I think. You should. See, that's where I'm confused about it. Because if I tell her what, because you know how in a lot of relationships, if they haven't even read this book, you have a bunch of guys, a bunch of guys who are logical, you know, problem solvers, right? Their girlfriend, wife, whatever, comes back from work, and they're just like, this happened, right? And they're venting and the guy's like, all right, let's solve the

problem. And they're like, shut the fuck up. I'm just telling you. Just listen. Just cherish my feelings. Don't try to. Yeah. So when you. So what I'm saying is, so yeah. And that's me, right? I make that mistake of doing that a lot i'm like oh a problem great let's solve it you know and and they don't want to solve the problem i'm just saying when i notice that i'm frustrated about something instead of like you know what i'm saying i'm kind of trying to beat the system not beat this i guess i'm recognizing that feeling that she responds to feelings more than logic oh right because you're trying to talk her language. Correct.

Yes. So like, it's like, yeah, exactly. Like I, she doesn't speak English. She speaks German kind of thing. So I'm like, instead of trying to slow my English down, I just speak German, so to speak. If you're using that analogy. So like I will.

But she, she needs to get into her more feminine energy and like, and it wouldn't, because you want to lead from a place of, I think it's, it's, it's complex, but, and I don't, I don't pretend to be an expert on this,

but I just know that when two people are trying to do the same role of like, I think you should do this. And if you tell a man like, I think this, and they just like their dick just like shrivels up. But if you're like, I feel like, you know, you're really happiest when you do this if you're just like gentle it's the book is about being like a woman and nurturing and feminine it's a little bit like oh god i have

to start wearing dresses and like being sexy i mean it's about that like if you want to get a masculine energy man who wrote this feminine it's a woman dr pat allen she's like consider herself a feminist for sure oh my gosh yes so this isn't it i used to recoil at this book because all my friends read it and i used to be like oh you just act like a handmaid until he dies and then you can be yourself again like that was my joke for it to trick a man into loving you yeah because i was like okay all my friends are now just being like well i don't want to tell you what so can we maybe talk later about my feelings? Like you have to ask for permission later on. Like there's all these like weird things that

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So it just sets you up. I don't know exactly. Now I'm like talking in circles, but here's another thing that I learned from this book is that, and I want to know what your thoughts of this, and this is the most important part that's helped all my friends, is when you want a commitment with a person,

when you're like determining like, I'm dating this guy who I'm sleeping with, which first of of all you shouldn't be sleeping with anyone who you want to be your boyfriend until they like agree to it in the book or is this oh yeah big time it is yeah and it's like this book seems a little rigid it is but it's not it's not about being like don't don't give control them with your butt like your sex use that as like a tool to trick them it is about honoring you because women don't understand most women and a couple kind of some men bond through sex but most women you get so much oxytocin release when you have an orgasm with a man especially if their penis is in you in any way that you become chemically bonded

to this guy and the withdrawals last two years for a chemical bond like that. And men, it just doesn't happen that way. The amount of oxytocin for a man to orgasm is way less than the amount for a woman. So you could be hungover from a really good dick for two years? Two years. That's why girls can't get over guys because they are chemically bonded. So I don't sleep with guys because I don't want to do the drug. I'm not kidding you.

What's going on? It's true. It's withdrawal. Why can't guys get over women? Because some of them chemically bond as well. But for women, it is way more likely to happen. And it happens fast. And that's why I do not let a penis in my vagina unless he is someone that I know is going to give me longevity consistency and uh commitment

like I want I want someone who's like looking towards being with me for a very long time will fuck me a lot and um and is exclusive is so you won't you won't sleep with them no no I will blow someone I shouldn't even do that to be honest with you because it's still like a penis in you and it's like and I've fallen in love with people like it's protecting you because I haven't been able to get over guys I sleep with too early because I got addicted to them because my fucking brain shot off a million different hormones that I've never had that influx plus the smell of their neck plus the way they touch you I mean all of these things are so physically bonding women have no idea the amount of addiction. It's literally addiction. You can get addicted to someone's like smells

because you're smelling his neck when you're coming and all this oxytocin shooting off. It's like doing a fucking whip it times a thousand. Like it's the chemistry that's going on in your brain when you have an orgasm, when a man is inside you is insane and makes you love them way sooner than if you didn't, way sooner. So I have been able to,

this person that I loved, I'm not with, I fell in love a month ago. I am not bonded to him as much because I didn't have sex with him. If I had sex with him as much as I wanted to, oh my god, did I want to. But I couldn't get a commitment and consistency and exclusivity, so I didn't do it. And it was all, it was, I was, I've never wanted to have sex so bad in my fucking lifeivity so i didn't do it and it was all it was i was i've never wanted to have sex so bad in my fucking life but i didn't do it and thank god i did it because when he didn't come through to be someone that i could be with i'm i am not even i haven't even cried like i've cried a couple times just out of like i'm so glad i love someone but i'm not even sad because i am not going through withdrawal as much i mean yes, yes. What happens, because we've

talked about this before and it's a pretty common thing, but like the first, like the guys will want to have sex with a girl. Yeah. And they have genuine intentions, have sex with a girl and then reevaluate how they feel about the sex no you know when sex is going to be good okay listen this listen i'm talking about this is when you're fooling around with a guy you're telling for long enough that you're making out you spend okay so this let me give you an example so this guy that i was like seeing like very interesting so you've been like you guys you got the only thing you didn't do was sex. Yeah. So you guys know. Yeah, I ate his ass for like hours.

No, I'm just kidding. No. You guys know. I did not. You guys know what you guys look like naked and things like that? Yes. Everything. Like a t-shirt.

Everything could have happened. I mean, there is no doubt that the sex will be incredible and maybe the best. Like, I can't even believe it will be so good when he finally, if we ever do have sex, it will be the best moment of my life. But it, I'm so glad I saved it. But are you not bonding chemically if you're orgasming other ways? Oh yeah, you are. That's why I only like made him, when, as soon as I knew it wasn't going to work out, I was like, okay, I can't blow you any, I will not like let you in.

I will not pleasure you anymore to orgasm. No way. You can finger me all you want, but like you're not going down on me anymore. You can finger me and I can like kind of treat you as like a separate thing. And then I think I like, I told him he could like jerk off next to me, but he can't associate like my body with like, I don't want to, you don't get that anymore. And I don't want, I don't want, because the thing is once they fuck you, this has happened. First of all, this is not just to protect my heart because of the chemical addiction which i just learned about i was doing this before because i felt like as soon as a guy had sex with me it was like okay i did it and then there's just a

mood shift there's a mood shift after they come frankly but like when a guy has sex with you i have been rejected by men who i thought were a sure thing So many times after sex where there's just like this. And this is like a first date hookup? No, this is like been hanging out a while. Finally have sex. I've had guys go, Nikki, you're my girlfriend. Okay, let's just have sex. And I go, okay.

Never, never accept that right when they're horny. They have to promise you commitment and all that stuff like outside of the bedroom. So I've jumped into bed with guys that have literally been like, I'm not gonna. I go, this happened before you, this happened before with you guy, I dated five years before. As soon as we had sex, you didn't like me anymore. And he's like, I'm not that way anymore. And I really want to do this. I want to commit and have sex. I swear to

God, he's holding me afterwards. And I go, how are you feeling? And he goes, I just, like right after we had sex, like like moments later holding me right afterwards like you know spouting in bed and he goes it's a bad time to have that conversation well like i wanted to check in because he was like you know he was worried about like we were both worried i go so i almost said it facetiously because in five years prior we had joked like after we had sex he was went from like loving me to being like true treating me like a bro that he wanted to get out like his you know second cousin staying at his place like wanted me to leave so we joked about that and he goes that's not gonna happen again like we're like falling in love we're laying in bed he's

holding me and i go how you feeling like a kind of almost joking because it was good sex or whatever and he's like honestly i'm i'm like i'm just feeling like this may have happened too soon. Like he fucking. But he begged to have sex. Begged. Would beg. Was begging. How mad? I was so sad.

He just stopped talking to me. And I was falling in love with this guy and thought he was going to be my boyfriend. This is different than the reason. Different guy. Yeah. This was years and years ago. So I have been fooled by this. Just having sex for me has never gotten. No guy.

I've never convinced a guy to like me by having sex with them even though you think that's what they want because they're begging you that's it's never gonna work summer is here and if you haven't met your fitness goals now is a pretty good time to get going because you'll probably be putting on that swimsuit or taking off that shirt and whatever your fitness goals are, make them possible with Beachbody. Beachbody on demand offers over 1500 at home workouts plus nutritional plans. So no matter what your goals are, there is a program that will help you build and keep your healthy habits history of success. That's right. You've heard of P90X or Insanity or 20 to one day fix. Now check out some of Beachbody's newest

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because the pair of joggers I got fit me perfectly. It says here they have- And being a girl of a certain size, you can't find what you need for your body that fits properly all the time. If I can just professionally say that. It says here they have 30 combination sizes and four different length options. That's just nuts.

Need I say more? Well, I will. Made with a breathable, stretchy, moisture-wicking fabric. Well, we have two moisture-wicking fabric options. Natalie loves her jogger. So does Chrissy. The ladies on this team, they don't shut up about it. As the world's opening back

up make sure you've got clothes that are as flexible as your life is public rec rarely discounts but right now they have an exclusive offer for vile files listeners go to public rec.com slash Nick and use our code Nick to receive 10% off that's public rec.com slash N-I-C-K

and use promo code Nick for 10% off I honestly think that having sex is like so c.com slash N-I-C-K and use promo code Nick for 10% off. I honestly think that having sex is like so special that I only want to do it with someone who loves me. Like I don't, or I want to do it with someone super hot

that I can scratch off the list. If a guy's begging for sex, well, that's clearly what he's focused on. You know what I'm saying? You can't be like dating someone and going out and going to movies

and talking and I'm sure you, you know, as a guy, you want to have sex. But if it gets to the point where he's like, come on, come on, come on, come on. Why don't we have sex? I think that's so hot.

Sure, it's hot. But what I'm saying is, see, that's what he's focused on, right? You know what he's focused on. Yes. It's like the whole thing of what people say they want versus what they're actually showing. Like a guy who's just like, oh, I want to be,

no, I want to be your boyfriend. I want want no i want this right and he says that and everything else is can we have sex we have sex but it wasn't that it was spending time on like like it was like doing girlfriend stuff i mean this guy and i would talk on the phone constantly we didn't even talk about sex but then when we got in the bedroom it became that and then you're horny you know i'm horny i'm like this guy is my boyfriend he said it before let's just do it like so how long are you waiting now um until they're someone that wants to wants to be my boyfriend and I know he was your boyfriend no I know but that that I will I'll wait now until that guy jumped I was younger so I just didn't know that all the warning signs that

were there that told me this guy wasn't ready. But now I'm gonna wait and I might not get it right but I'm definitely gonna wait until I'm like, oh my god let's consummate. We're like boyfriend and girlfriend. Let's like go have sex like boyfriend and girlfriends do. Like that's so fun. Like I want it to be like a special event now. I could have sex with someone who I like don't look at as husband material. I might bond to them but I'm not gonna be falling in love. Like it's it it might bond to them, but I'm not going to be falling in love. Like it's, it might bond to them a little bit. So you're like,

you're backpacking in Europe and you see a guy who you're like, I'm not into it, but you're like a good lay. Then I'm just like, I don't even. Wait, you could have sex with an ex? Yes.

If you really are over them, you can have sex with an ex. This is like, this is all the book by the way. Oh no, no, no. This is in the book? Yeah. I don't know if,

I got to read this book. I really want you to read this book. There's holes in this book. Nick, I really want you to read it. It's called Getting To I Do And I know everyone's rolling their eyes at the title It's terrible But it just teaches you so much about your psychology

And sociology of male Men and women relationships And pretty much any homosexual relationships too It's always a yin and a yang I like that right I like understanding where you stand Yes What I don't like

And I have to read this book Is that I don't like Like a structured Like I don't like, and I have to read this book, is that I don't like, like a structured, like I don't like a set playbook of like, here's how you like get the husband and never do this and always do this. It's like, it's all situational.

I promised you this isn't like the rules, like those rules that came out in the 90s where the women are like, never call him back. Never do, like there's things that you'll find through this book that you're like, oh, that works for me. That doesn't. But it all is just steering you to cherish yourself and honor yourself as a woman and respect a man for

doing the ultimate sacrifice, which is giving up other pussy for you. Like we women act like I want a commitment. Like it's no big deal. It's no big deal to us because we like commitment. We like monogamy. We are drawn to it. Not not all women but most of them when a man decides to fuck you for maybe ever a commitment you know like when a man goes i'm going to for the for the foreseeable future only fuck you and not pursue other women that is a huge sacrifice that we do not give enough um it is because biologically men are it is hold on i'm not i'm not i'm not being um hyperbolic here men as are meant to fuck everything okay they are we not sacrificing by like giving up dick we know because we are most women don't because we don't

we're not craving dick new dick constantly men are craving new pussy no matter what they tell you they will crave new pussy so for them to go i care about this woman enough that i'm not gonna pursue other pussy and like go against my biological nature we have to fucking give respect to that and be very like like you have to acknowledge that that that's a sacrifice and it's bigger than the sacrifice you're giving chrissy you i mean i'm sorry this is a feminist as a as a guy i i i will recognize i agree with you that it's been men men you can be in love and and still be like i mean objectively i see his hot girl and it would be fun to see her naked kind of thing. Right? Like you just, I, as a guy,

you know that Chrissy, are you saying you disagree with Nikki's premise about, uh, new dicks, not necessarily the adventure that, uh, a new naked woman, you know, when you've fallen in love,

you can't, and you're getting fucked out. You're getting banged out by a guy that you love on the reg. Are you looking at guys at the gym and going that guy's hot of course you can say that guy's hot but are you actually craving their penis inside you in a way that you're like man i wish john wasn't in my life so i could fuck that no you're not so are we arguing over craving i'm arguing over the fact that men when they are they don't want to be monogamous men it's against their their nature. They want to go fuck everything to spread their seeds.

So you're saying that men in the gym are being like, that pussy's hot. I want to fuck it even though I've got Nikki. What do you mean by wanting to be monogamous? And a girl will be like, oh no, I don't need to fuck that hot guy. I can acknowledge he's hot. I got a guy who loves me at home.

No, I'm just saying women are different. And I'm not speaking for every woman. Please do not DM me and be like, I'm a woman who loves to fuck all the time. I love the DMs. But when I'm in a relationship, I love sex. I'm like a sex addict almost, but I don't really care about other men when I'm really feeling my emotional needs and my sexual needs met by a man I love. I don't even see other men.

And I feel like a lot of women will agree with me. And I know that men are like that sometimes in the beginning of a relationship when it's super intense they're like you like maybe don't see other women but it's not as much and men always want to fuck other women if you think your man doesn't look at hot girls and you never and he doesn't check out girls and he doesn't think about fucking another girl maybe when he's in the shower and jerking off or maybe when he's inside you sometimes he'll think about someone he saw earlier you're fucking insane he definitely does and it's okay but we have to we have to really I think it's like really special that a man is willing to give up fucking other girls for for me for the rest of my life and I will do um I will do whatever it

takes to like make him feel like thank you for that sacrifice because I know it's not your general nature but I also will say that I don't mind if my boyfriend gets a blowjob from a random girl. If he's on location somewhere, or if he's on a bachelor party, and there's some girl at a bar who thinks he's super hot, and she's just some floozy in Austin at a bar, and he doesn't live in Austin, I don't care if you get a blowjob.

That sounds fun. Tell me about it later. I hope she's so hot. I hope she's out of your league. Yeah, my boyfriend or my husband. Does he have to let you know first? I mean, no. Before we go on the trip, the trip i'll go listen you want to do something this weekend that's fine don't give me any disease be safe about it but like if you want to get your dick

is this new nikki no this is this has been nikki for years and years and i've and no one believes me about this it's i don't know what's wrong with me i don't think there's anything and men don't even like it i'm not trying to be like a cool girl to get a guy. I'm telling you, no men even want this. But I get really turned on when my boyfriend, someone I feel very secure with and in love with, like when a girl wants to blow him or something. I don't necessarily want him to have sex with another girl

because a girl will get attached. That is Nick. But I like it because I'm like, oh, my boyfriend's attractive. He's like definitely like girls want him. And guess what? I have never once in my life heard of a guy getting a blowjob in a bar from some girl he met at the bar who's just like kind of drunk and like I want to blow someone that knows he has a girlfriend.

I don't want to deceive this girl into thinking she's going to get in a relationship. But it's like a bachelor party. He's at a bar in Austin. A girl is all over him. She's super hot. He's like texting me like how hot this girl is get a blowjob because i've never once heard a guy getting a blowjob and being like i need to marry you and leave my girlfriend like that's never happened he's just gonna get a blowjob and go on to leave what do you mean leave well i mean like i'm not i don't think you're crazy i think it's an interesting conversation i

just don't think What about making Making out That's fine too But making out's kind of intimate I would rather Like he either Like You'd rather Get a blowjob

A handjob Or like Finger her Or like Wait you can finger her Yeah make her come Yeah I would love that

Because Usually the guys I'm dating Are really good at fucking And I want to like Oh my god I'm so glad That girl like Had an Like one time my ex-boyfriend

Hooked up with this girl Very pretty woman and she was like so she like came a lot or what like I forget he like fingered or something and she was just like he told me later on she was just like kind of she was like dizzy she was like what the fuck was that and I was like yes I love that like you made a girl feel that good and like whoa that could be done that's nice to know yeah and it's like it just it's, and it's hot to me. But you're not, but like, I,

I think this can all work, right? But it has, like, I feel like you have to like, have really good communication. Yeah. So not,

no sex, no, obviously penis and vagina sex, nothing that, nothing that's gonna. But like, so your, your guy,

your boyfriend. And I don't, yeah. Goes to a basher party. Yeah. Are you like asking questions or you just trust him that he- No, I'll ask questions

when we start hooking up when he gets back. Like when this happened with my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, so he went on a bachelor party in Austin and before he left,

he was like, listen, I know we've talked about this before because I've always been like, oh my God, like when we were together, we were never apart. Like we were working

on a show together. We lived together. There was no chance for him to like have a flirtation with a girl, you know, like even though that's something I would have been into and we used to talk about it all the time in bed like our foreplay used to be me being like tell me about the time you hooked up with a girl like all of his before stories before we hooked up and I was like oh my god so horny for like just him telling me like being intimate with other girls it didn't

make me jealous it made me like oh my god like oh my god like so turned on by him so then when he was going on this trip he was like hey I know we've talked about it before but like I my god like oh my god like so turned on by him so then when he was going on this trip he was like hey I know we've talked about it before but like I don't have a lot of opportunities I don't like drink I don't go to bars we're gonna go to bars if there was if something were to happen with another girl it would be this weekend and I was like okay like I think I can handle it I was like no sex but like use your discretion and just tell me about it when you get back and so like he went on the trip we texted like normal and and this is just tell me about it when you get back. And so, like, he went on the trip. We texted like normal.

And this is just for me. This isn't forever. This is the way we worked it out. And then we met up after that. And we were meeting in San Francisco. And we both knew he was coming off this trip. And I was like, I wonder if he's done anything. But we had the whole day with our friends just, like, going to lunch and, like, talking about the trip.

And then the second we got back to the hotel, we started hooking up. And then he's like, do you want to hear what happened? I'm like, fuck, yes, I do. we started hooking up and then he then he's like do you want to hear what happened i'm like fuck yes i do i've been waiting all day and then that's when he told me and it was so it was like our foreplay and then it was so hot and then we just like had the best sex ever because it was about what did you feel him i felt um i just felt like oh my gosh my boyfriend is like attractive to other women like i get i'm so excited i get to have this this man loves me that other women want but they but he's mine there wasn't any jealousy no none and i don't mean like in a bad i get jealous though there's times because i feel like in

those situations it's but not that it's all about controlling your feelings right yeah i don't have to even do that i don't get jealous at all because to me I feel like part of that even if she was hotter than me I don't care but I feel like part of the excitement of that is having this layer of trust yeah these boundaries that he's you know no no sex he's telling you he's communicating and then like however you feel is how you feel right and that those you know yeah you can't you can't you don't know how you're gonna feel it's very scary the first time I did this, I was terrified. And it's kind of a very alive feeling.

You're just like, I feel a lot. And I'm like, I'm probably even mad. I'm not mad at you because I know we had our, I know we had our rules, but I, boy, I feel a certain way. I'll tell you when it did, that time did not bug me. The time it did bug me was when we were first venturing into it. And he ran into a girl that he had worked with on the street. And she was, was they or on the

train or something and she was like you should come up and see my new place and he was like I bet Nikki would like like whatever's going on here like this girl's giving me a vibe I used to work with her I can't wait to tell Nikki about this which there's one thing about this though that I love is my ex was very weirded out by this whole thing was just like you want me to like flirt with girls and have like and I'm like i don't know i think i like it like you're out of stories to tell from your past you got to make new ones and so he was and he goes the cool thing about it is if i were to be cheating on you you would not be in my head at all while i was doing something with another girl but the fact that

i know i'm going to get to tell you about it and you're going to be turned on by this i'm thinking about you the entire time i'm with this girl. And it's like, that's a win for me. Well, exactly. Because it makes the situation all about your partner. About me. I'm in control. Yes. And the whole reason for doing it is for you or for them. And if she's better at sex than I am, or he feels a connection with her that is like,

I love this girl, then go be with her. I honestly can't control that. I can't control anything. All I know is it turns me on and I honestly and I actually acknowledge that men that maybe I can't be every woman for a man and that I maybe want him to have an experience with a girl with a fucking huge ass like I have a flat ass like he's like I want guys to I want tell me about a girl with huge fake tits or like I can't be every woman like that's exciting so so this what did this happen with this girl this is the first time it ever happened and this is where i got jealous she goes come up to my apartment he's

going oh nick you'll like this like this girl wants to get me alone they go up to the apartment and he's like sitting on her counter and she's like or uh no she's sitting on her counter and he kind of just like was looking at a cabinet he was like he said he got like close enough that like they could have kissed but he was kind of just like they were just it was in a way that it could have been intimate and then she went in for it and um she was like i want to but i just there was something about the way he didn't tell her that i was okay with it and so i felt like for some oh he goes i want to so bad but i can't he was like trying to he wasn't honest about it because he was clunky you want him to yeah well i don't want a girl to ever be deceived one time he was about to get a

blowjob from a girl that he had a past with. And I was like, go do it. And he goes, if I write her back right now, I'm like leaving her. We just had dinner at this hotel. If I write her back, I'm going to go get a blowjob. There's no turning back. I'm not going to like, I go, this, he goes, this is do or die. And I was like, do it.

And I go, wait, hold on. Wait, I go, does she really like you? Like, does she think that she would like maybe want to be sure. And he goes, yeah. And I go, then don't do it. Let's not do this because I don't want her to think that she has a chance with you. Cause that's not what this is and not what I want out of this. So I understand that. But this girl that he went up and like, talked to about her cabinets, I remember being very jealous because I was like, this girl thinks that he was so attracted to her. He was like, I can't, I have a girl. that he was so attracted to her he was like i can't i have a girl like there was something that left that girl i wasn't in control it was it became about them and maybe her being

like oh my god i got this guy with a girlfriend to like almost kiss me and then it it took the control out of my that's when i got jealous that's what i'm saying it's all it's all about it's control for sure yeah it is but i can't help that i'm very horny for it and like it it's not something that i'm like i don don't, I'm not enough of a woman. My boyfriend has to, I'm not like cuckolded. Like I can't, I'm just like, it's, it's actually hot. What about a happy endings and massage parlors? Yeah, that's fine.

It's fine. Well, you know, actually, no, if it's a sex work from like sex slaves, I don't like that. But if you have, if you've gone to an escort before, I don't mind, but you shouldn't have to go to an escort if you i don't know i mean it's fine if you really are like craving well to the to your point that actually takes all of the excitement that you get out of it away because the girl's being paid to have to fuck you yeah there's no power it's more like he's kind of lazy and just like rub my dick yes yes i will i will definitely date a guy that's gone to escorts before and i have no problem with that in a relationship but in a relationship i don't mexico no it's a massage massage person

well and she and she's like she's like hey do you want do you want the whole happy ending if he wants it yeah just tell me about it like I wouldn't mind it at all. No. I just think it's like, I think for men, and I think for women even, like, I think I could get fingered and not, like, feel anything for the guy after. And I just don't think that it would jeopardize my relationship to be fingered by a guy.

If a guy, like. So cheating really comes down. I am so confused. Cheating comes down to honesty. Yeah. And I think, yes, it does. It comes down to just be honest and if I'm in a relationship with a guy who falls for another girl and has a crush on a girl he works with

or something like he's like I've got a crush tell me let's talk about it because if you're willing to have a crush on a girl I got to figure out what I'm not providing for you in this relationship that makes you think it's okay that you can start having a funny flirty emotionally fraught you know connection with someone. I want you to be honest before, because I think the dishonesty when you go, oh, it's just a crush. I don't need to tell my girlfriend about like this fact that I have a crush on this girl at work. Like it feels weird.

She'll probably get mad at me. What happens then is that you start resenting your girlfriend because you can't act on this crush. Instead of just breaking the tension and being like, babe, I don't know what's going on. There's this new girl at work and I'm fucking turned on honesty and most people aren't there secure woman and it takes a secure man yeah it's not just men it's it's both like you both have to be on the same and i know that this is i'm not this doesn't work for me by the way there aren't men that actually like i i'm single and i like not and i want a husband so i'm not doing i'm i know all these

rules and stuff but i'm this is all i want everyone to know i'm single and i like not and I want a husband so I'm not doing I'm I know all these rules and stuff but I'm this is all I want everyone to know I'm single and I don't know what I'm doing but that's what I would like is like that kind of relationship with that kind of brutal honesty yeah I mean I I I totally get it but I know guys who you know will like they'll be like well this is what I think is cheating and I don't think this is cheating. Yeah. And I'm thinking, well, none of that matters until you're dating someone. And what they think matters. It's not legal. You have all these things that you are into or not into and you wouldn't mind.

But if you fall in love with a guy who is just like, I don't want to do any of that and I don't want you to do any of that. Right. And you're like, well, I disagree. I'm into this. Yeah. That's fine. That's a lifestyle.

You kind of agree to disagree lifestyle wise. But like if you go and still do the thing that you want to do, even though he's not okay with it, like you. Then you're a bad person. And you lie about it. Yeah. Then you're lying. Because I know guys who will just be like, well, I don't think it's cheating.

So therefore I'll do it. And I won't. And she doesn't have to know. Well, you have to live with the lie the rest of your fucking life well then you're a liar and by definition that is that is cheating lying lying is cheating this different area codes like what what does what she doesn't know won't hurt her it's like it's gonna hurt you this thing that you can't be completely honest and i understand like we don't need to tell everything if it's going to be just, you know,

make every, make the person even suffer more to hear, to show all the text exchanges. If you get caught cheating, like, you know, come out with everything. But I think that just transparency from the very start of a little interest in someone else, it brings up, if you have, if you're wanting to cheat emotionally with someone else or even physically, it's either because you've been away from the person for too long and you're not having your sexual needs met. You're like in a different city, so that's understandable. Or you're not having enough sex in your relationship. There's something that needs to be remedied.

And it's like, it would be good to know. Or you're just bored. Or you're bored, but you also, then something needs to change. You can't just wait that out and wait for it to get exciting again. Like, I think that's just, if you're bored, I mean, I, but I have those things too of like, this isn't a deal breaker for me, by the way. Like, if a guy's like, I'm not comfortable ever sleeping with another woman. I just only want to sleep with you.

And I truly don't even like the idea that you like me hooking up with other girls. I'll go, okay, that's a kinky thing I'm into that I can probably put on the back burner. If a guy's like, I don't like anal sex and I have no desire to ever do it with you, I'll go, okay, well, that's actually something I really enjoy. And I would like maybe you to wrap your head around maybe trying to do something like that or getting into it. Or if someone's like, I don't really like kinky stuff or being like dominant in bed. Those are kind of my sexual deal breakers of like, I need you to maybe get there because i enjoy that too much but in terms of like there's some things that you realize are well important if you tell a guy who's never done the whole like flirt with people and blow jobs and hand jobs

and you present this to him there's a good bet he is going to get insecure about it because he's going to wonder why you're like that right he's going to wonder he'll think that i want to do the same thing but it's not a two-way street he'll think this is all like a plan for you that's what they always say they go do you get to fuck other people and i go no i don't want to if i wanted to i would tell you that and but i don't want to no plus with your three things i'm like so confused because you have like your three things you don't you don't want to have Sex with them Until you have Your longevity Your whatever I say that

Because that's the book And then we're going To respect them Because they're Giving up pussy Yes I understand That that's most women No no no

That's most women Want exclusivity Commitment And consistency And that's what You should That's what you Should want from them

If that's what you If that's what you want Those are the things You should get Before you sleep With someone And I do get those things. But once I achieve those things

and I'm in a relationship, then I go, I don't, and I lead with all this. I go, once I feel secure in a relationship and have those things on lock that I know he's going to be exclusive

if I want him to be, he's not going to bang people and lie about it. Exclusivity means don't bang someone and lie about it. It's all about, it's all about power

and control and trust, right? It's feeling safe with someone's all about power, and control, and trust, right? It's feeling safe with someone, and having the type of relationship, where you can like, have pleasure. I want my,

I want, I like sex, and I, and I understand, and I am interested in maybe getting like, having a, not a gangbang situation, but I like multiple male partners,

at some point in my sex life, I would maybe like that. It's all I watch on porn, I'm just saying that, that i've never done anything like it but if a guy was like never goes nikki i would never like ever entertain the idea of like letting a guy bang you and like watching or being a part of it or something i'd be like okay maybe that's something i need to like get out of the way i like bucket list go to like some kind of sex party and just scratch off because i that is something I would like to maybe

explore not tomorrow or not like there's a good bet your husband might not be into it yeah but there's also a good bet that they would be

because I am who knows I am very like well versed in this and like there's a lot of but that's also something that I might be going listen I watch that stuff

but that doesn't mean I need to do it I don't even know if I want that but I am open about all of these things and then you realize what's a deal breaker and what's not for me like someone definitely wants kids I I want to know that first date because I don't know if I want kids and if you definitely do that's gonna be a weird thing if you're okay with being someone who's on the fence and might want them after we fall in love I'm your girl but I don't know yet

so just I want all those things i just want to be honest about everything and then i hope then you know or honest about the fact that i don't know what the fuck i'm doing and i'm scared and i've never i haven't had a real relationship that has felt like where i didn't feel like i was playing a role in my life and so i'm kind of new to all of this what do you mean playing a role playing the role of like the girl that he wants me to be and just like always just like everything's fine and like I was so scared of rejection and my the only boyfriend I ever secured that I was like oh my god I went after this guy so hard and I got him and I didn't want him to ever ever dump me so I

just never what was uh contentious with him I was agreeing with everything I never once I never fought um he got resentful of the fact that I was lying constantly because you could just sense that like no it's fine yeah everything's fine like that that kind of like he sensed my resentment which I had because I couldn't actually say my resentments storm towards him because I was so scared that I'd be like babe I really don't like it when you talk to me like that. If I said that to him, I was so scared he'd be like, well, I like talking to you like that and I'm never going to change, bye.

And then, so I just never said any of those things because I was just scared. Are you on any other dating apps other than Raya? I'm on Bumble in St. Louis because there's no one in St. Louis. I live in St. Louis now and there's no one on Raya there. But it's not good. I'm really just looking to meet people in person because i've realized that that's how i start liking someone is i'm like oh i i've liked people

in person immediately and had chemistry with them that if i saw their profile on raya i would be like oh i would swipe so hard my finger would like break i would be like swipe i would be disgusted yeah well that's why you have to not i can't judge it anymore yeah i have to watch this it's just a way to meet people and then quickly but that's why i like reality show guys because you like reality show guys oh love them because you can watch them from afar and get to know how they like talk how they sell ryan all these apps you just go that's the way he smiles on Mother's Day like I don't know that's the way he lays with his dog on his couch in a way that's very set up but a guy in a reality

show like I hit up um there was one guy on uh I guess I could talk about this at this point Jason Foster do you remember him on Claire's season he was like writing out his emotions on a slab of crown creating food the guy from the fire pit yeah the fire pit his emotions into the thing yes the football player yeah yeah i thought he was so hot really terrible past and i'm super toxic yeah i'm a horrible person but it's fine now because i wrote it down yeah it was unclear i know i understand that no he said he's been through a lot him and his brother been through a lot he cried and then he left the show because he was like, listen to, he told Tayshia, like, I'm still in love with Claire. And he had like a breakthrough.

Any guy that gets emotional on a show and is like willing to be emotional and like go there. I was very horned up for this guy when I watched. I think he will. I think he'll worship whoever he's with. I think so too. But he also has like a side that you don't want to like. I get that.

But he seemed in, I don't, I'm not pretending to say that he's fixed. I mean, this is the thing, Chrissy. I'm like, I don't care if these guys are fixed or not. I just want them to acknowledge they're broken. Because once you acknowledge that I can't do this anymore, I need help. Not broken. I like the damage, not broken. I understand.

A little bit of damage. I say broken as a, you know, as a jokey word. I know, but I'm. I acknowledge that I'm a little bit damaged. I like people who. I'm very much damaged. Same as you, where you meet someone and I feel more connected and closer when someone's like, this happened to me. I've done this.

And it's a. And I'm working on getting over the trauma that that caused me and the way it causes me to react to my friends and family now because of this thing that happened to me when i'm seven i'm like that's fucking great i'm so glad that you like finally acknowledge that that means that you're on the path so that guy to me seemed like someone that's going on the path what happened so i um followed him and then you know the we started watching each other stories and then i think either i slid in or he slid in and then we were texting and it was flirty and stuff but um it's just fallen off like you know those kind of he lives in i forget where he lives charlotte or something he's trying to go to paradise um is he trying to go to paradise oh i don't know i mean he'd be great there i would love uh yeah i i mean

i could see him doing well down there yeah i mean i i don't know where to leave it though like i need a guy to like be very into me and be like where to leave it though like i need a guy to like be very into me and be like i'll come see you like i need to guy put in effort and i'm not gonna be the one that's like hey do you want to come like i want a guy to fight to be with me so like i'll put it out there and be like hey i'm interested hi but if they don't pick it up i'm like okay i'm not going it doesn't really and i'm not like hurt that he doesn't want to drive to st louis in the middle of the night and bang me or whatever not that I would have sex with him unless he was my boyfriend or whatever but like you know I'm saying I need I need a guy to pursue but that's the type of guy

like I slid in because I like watching these shows I always love bachelorette season because there's more men to be like oh these are guys that I have a blue check mark they can easily know that I follow them or like and liking their stuff they'll know I exist and be like who's this and if they're into me I might have a shot it's like it's kind of nice or like any like it's being getting a little bit more famous that is a nice thing because uh more you have a chance with other like famous people that you may have a rapport with or like have grown up with their picture on your wall you know like there's people on raya that i'm like i matched with a guy that i was like obsessed with in high school you

know like a lead singer of a band that i was like i would have done anything to have him in high school and now i'm matching with him and it's like well time has already stopped changed yeah yeah you know like it's but i have access now to people that i feel like I know because I've seen them on TV. And if it's reality TV, I do know them. I feel like I know them pretty well enough to be like, yeah, I'd bang that guy. Or like, yeah, I'd be. But I don't want to go out with a guy just from pictures on fucking Bumble or Raya. It scares me.

I need to see like video evidence of you. How much do you include your dating life in your comedy? That's all I do. But I don't really date. How specific? Like, do you say names? Or is it just like, I dated a guy? I usually say, no, I do not use names.

I've gotten, you know, I've gotten better about that to keep it generic enough that, but I don't really, I mean, I think when I have enough space, like, I remember not talking, saying that guy's name when it was going on because I was like, it's too vulnerable. Now this is like a done deal. And if he slid in tomorrow, I'd be like, hey, I talked about you on Nick's podcast. Like- Well, it's fine.

You're not also saying anything mean or embarrassing. No, but yeah, I like to talk about, I don't want to do a Ben Affleck thing of like showing the things he said to me or that girl. I wouldn't reveal things about people but um I don't know yeah I'm I'm pretty uh transparent on stage especially live shows like I'm going on this theater tour over the summer and I'm going to say things I know in these rooms that like

I hope I won't be able to put on a special you know like I'll I'll because my fans I feel like I can be like do you guys really want to know who this was it's Nick Vile like there's a there's there's a joke that I have that you kind of were a huge part of my act when I was taking it out last year yeah and it um and it was so always so fun because I go an ex-bachelor and they're like oh and I go do you think I'm gonna leave you hanging you know I'm gonna tell you eventually just wait for a second and it's so fun to get through the whole story and then go and it was Nick Vile and everyone's like oh my god like it's it's just like a fun little easter egg so I like to give those things when the crowd is like wait she was talking to a famous person who was it and the whole time they're thinking who is it and so it's just fun to like give them those things but I don't

think that I mean unless I had your permission and you saw the bit I wouldn't put it on a special but can I I'm taping it in December so you might be out of act by then but because it's because it's all based I mean it probably won't be because as long as I look somewhat good and it's funny no well it's all about you know we talked about this before but it's all about the thing that I was talking about with that guy uh the young kid who dm'd me on Raya of like I thought one thing about like i was just talking about this on shand on there on charlene's episode or on charlene's podcast about you and about talking about you on stage and stuff like that and and being and she was like oh you better not let his girlfriend can't

hear about that and i was like yes she can his girlfriend knows that nick's a hot guy and that maybe a girl in the past has been sexually attracted to it. Like I was into you, but now you're like my, now I feel so comfortable with the fact that you're my friend. And that's like a very normal boundary. And like, there's no part of me that's like trying to finagle anything with you, even though it was that way probably for like months and months of being like,

could I, but now I'm just so like, you're my friend, Nick, like, yes, your girlfriend could hear that. I once wanted to have sex with you. I mean, she thinks everyone wants to have sex with me and i have to be like but she not everyone does but would she be would she be like mad at if if she

knew in the past that i had thought you were hot and like no that's what i'm actually surprised i'm actually surprised charlene said that because no she did yeah she was just like yeah i think what i'm saying is like, I just assume everyone wants to have sex with Natalie. Right. Right. And so whether they want to or not is, that's them. What if they've said it outright?

That's the thing. Like, I feel like some people. Because they have to acknowledge it for me to be threatened. I would tell your girlfriend that to her face. You know, like, I can't wait to meet your girlfriend because first of all, I'll like her. Yeah. But I would be like, oh my my God, I was into Nick.

And it was just a friend vibe. And I got friend zoned. And it was all that. It would be funny to me. And I think a lot of girls wouldn't be able to handle that. And I hope that I would be able to handle that if my boyfriend was friends with a girl who definitely liked him and he never really liked her. If anything, I'd be like, good, keep hanging out.

He didn't like you. I've seen this before on TikTok. Are you on TikTok? I try to stay off because it's just, it's like vaping. It's like, it's just dangerous. It's addicting. Where I saw like the assumption is some women want a guy who's, they think is hot, but no other women think is hot

because they don't want to worry about other women. And that would- That's not worrying about other women. That hot because they don't want to worry about other women. And that would- That's not worrying about other women. That's worrying about your man. That would back up Charlene's theory that she didn't think you should be able to tell Natalie. And I'm like, why? I don't understand.

Natalie feels secure in your love for her and knows that nothing, like, it shouldn't bother you. The whole idea is just like, well, if you have to worry about any girl who likes me, well, you know, I think there might be a couple who like are attracted. Of course. There are girls that you have a girlfriend that are still going to pursue you.

And she needs to know that, but also not feel threatened by it. Because if she's threatened by those girls, those girls can't do anything that you can't. Okay. And if it comes down to you. But you think a lot of women are like that i think there's so many women that um i have best friends who are like the most intelligent women i know emotionally and otherwise and i asked my friend recently i go you are so jealous of other women and him possibly finding another woman even though you're the most amazing stunning person in

the world and he has given you no indication he's ever been interested in anyone else. I go, if I could snap my fingers right now, and every woman would not be into him. No, I go, if I could snap my fingers, and he would be unattracted to every woman except you, would you take that? She was like in a heartbeat. I was like, I would never do that to my man.

But that's an ego thing, right? It's insecurity. No, it's an insecurity. It's absolutely thinking that you're not enough and that you have to put a man in jail in order to keep him, whereas he should be free and choose to be with you. This friend is constantly worried that at any moment,

someone around the corner. With the best personality because she has trauma, so she's beautiful and she's funny. She's the one i would be worried about for any one of my boyfriends to ever meet like she's actually more awesome than me and she's pretty it's like it's but she is just struggles constantly with um being so scared that her boyfriend who has shown her nothing but just solid commitment um is going to abandon her for another woman.

And it's like, it's just a, it's a bad place to be. I feel really sad for her. And there's so many women that live in it. I'm just, I'm lucky I'm not one, but I struggle in other ways with obsessing over things I can't control. You know, it's just, that's something happened in those girls' life where they either got cheated on before or a lot of times. This is more for men.

But a lot of times if a man thinks you're cheating, it's because he's cheating. Sure. I mean, and same for women, too. If they're like obsessed and constantly, it's because they're capable of doing it, too. Or they are doing it to you. Yeah. Just protecting your insecurities and bullshit. But do you get jealous?

Do I get jealous? Anyone can get jealous. I often don't get jealous because jealousy comes from being insecure. And while I have insecurities, I'm relatively good at acknowledging them and just being upfront about them. But like I'm,

everyone's capable of feeling jealous. It's like, it's more like, yeah, you feel jealousy and then I have no problem's like, it's more like, yeah, it's, you feel jealousy. And then I have no problem being like, that bugged me. And then I'm more curious about figuring out what bugged me, why I was bugged by it. But I'm, I'm not normally a jealous person. I'm not like, you know, I like it when, if I don't mind my girlfriend getting hit on by guys because I choose, I get turned on by the fact that I trust her not to do anything. Yeah.

And if I can't trust her, then I just, it's, I'm too exhausted to be in the, in the relationship. You'll get out. Just me. But if I feel jealousy,

then there, then I try to address it because I know there's something either that I'm insecure about or she's doing something that makes me feel insecure. And then I try to address it yeah you're honest with it and then it doesn't like brew into something more like that bugged me that you did that you know yeah the one time I got jealous recently is I had just like blown a guy and we were talking about JLo somehow I were cuddling afterwards and JLo came up and he's like god she's I've seen her in person she's probably the hottest person i've ever seen in my life yeah and i go can you not say j-lo is hot when my when your cum is like in my upper digestive tract like

i i just swallowed your cum and you're telling me j-lo is hot and he was like the fact that my cum is in you doesn't change the fact that j-lo is hot i'm like i understand that logic but i don't really want to hear about it right now And by the way Cool Who doesn't think JLo's hot Stop saying JLo's hot That is like saying the sky is blue It's not a unique thing that Oh you think she's the most hot woman

Oh cool you're interesting I was like so annoyed So I can get very jealous about stuff like that But I say it right away There's a difference between like Knowing that your partner is attracted to people And hearing about it all the time. Like,

I don't want to, I'm not a jealous guy, but if, if, if now he was just like, he's so fucking hot. I'd be like, right after you had an intimate moment.

It's like either way, either way. I mean, like, like I'm fine with accepting it. I don't necessarily agree. The fact that you need to vocalize it bothered, like you had to get that out.

And some guys love to be like, I remember this guy yeah i used to date guys all the time that would just say how hot other girls were i'm just like cool obviously mila mila kunis is hot you don't need to say that every time a commercial where she's like you know dry humping and a casket of whiskey or whatever she was doing in that one commercial every time that commercial goes on i don't need to hear you go i don't need to hear you go like oh god she's hot like cool yes that's why she's on tv she's sexually attractive like stop trying it's them trying to make it seem like uh i'm a like it's it's it's them trying to control you really it's like them trying to maybe make you feel a little insecure because they are it's like why say that i think it's them trying to control you, really. It's like them trying to maybe make you feel a little insecure because they are, it's like, why say that?

I think it's subconsciously a little big. I think sometimes guys are just dumb. I mean, I can get on board with a girl being hot, but it's the time and the place. Like, I love when I go, babe, look at that girl's ass right now. Like, that is incredible. Like, fuck it. I don't think it's always Machiavellian.

I don't think a lot of guys are smart enough to be like i think they're just kind of dumb and you're there and they just want to say it and it's an awkward they don't even know they're doing what they're doing which is like sure but i don't know if there's some master plan i don't think that but i think it's subconsciously like i want to keep her a little bit like on her toes of like i'm uh i'm the way i'm feeling about this girl is too intense and i need to like keep it so it so, like, oh, I like other girls. I guess it's possible. I think it's that sometimes.

I haven't felt that way. I don't. These are just certain circumstances where I'm like, that was just ill-timed in such a, like, I just blew you, and you're telling me J-Lo's hot. Like, to me, that was about, like, oh, that didn't mean much to me. I'm just going to deflect. Like, I'm not going to, this moment where we're cuddling after we just had a sexual encounter.

This is too intense. So J-Lo's hot. It's just a way to push me away a little bit. I just think. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe. I mean, I could be wrong about all this. Please don't DM me how wrong I am.

I'm really sorry. I'm not a scientist. I'm just a comedian with a lot of trauma. Nikki, thanks so much for coming. Nick, always a pleasure uh let people know where they can follow you and you will be touring yeah i'm on tour nikki glazer.com slash tour like 40 cities uh going all year until like january and then uh i have a podcast called the nikki glazer podcast that is every day monday through thursday um and you can, with I heart radio and, um, hosting the,

you just Instagram. Um, there's other stuff too. You know, just Nikki Glaser on Instagram and I K K I G L A S. Great. Uh, thanks for listening guys.

Uh, don't forget to sending your questions at ask Nick at cast media.com. Cast with a K cast media.com. I was kind of mumbling, uh, send in your five star reviews and, uh and we will see you back on Monday. Bye.