The Viall Files - E333 Remi Bader - Not There Yet and That's Ok

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

Today we are joined by the lovely and extremely relatable Remi Bader. Remi keeps it real, sharing how she got to Tik Tok stardom during the pandemic by posting about her feelings of having gained weight during quarantine, and discusses the realities of the fashion industry for bigger bodies. Remi tells us about how just living her life openly and honestly is what’s made her so popular and how she’s very much still figuring it all out. You won’t want to miss this refreshing conversation where Nick and Remi dive into how normalizing all feelings is a form of self-care, how not dating at 26 is totally ok, and how important it is to always be working on your own personal growth.  “I’m struggling, I’m living my life, and that’s all ok.”  Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  For merch please visit www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Cameo: http://www.Cameo.com to request a personalized video Better Help: http://www.betterhelp.com/VIALLFILES to take care of you  Master Class: http://www.masterclass.com/viall for 15% off Public Rec: http://www.PublicRec.com promo code VIALL to receive 10% off Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @remibader See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Go to cameo.com, find your favorite celebrity there. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. You are your greatest asset. It's time to start investing in that. Visit betterhelp.com slash vile files. That's V-I-A-L-L-F-I-L-E-S and take care of you. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of The Vile Files. I am your host, Nick.

And I am joined by my wonderful team, Allie and Amanda of the social team. And we have a great episode for you today. Remy Bader is with us. A delightful person that we got a chance to get to know all things fashion and style and being confident

but also recognizing your insecurities, being okay with saying that you're not necessarily okay. I love the honesty that Remy provided us in this discussion that we had so I hope you enjoy this episode.

What else do we have going on? Ladies, what's going on in your world? I've moved into a new place. It's been a little bit of a house of horror situation. The parking spot is, I think my dad needs to visit me in LA just for the sole purpose of showing me how to get in and out of this parking spot. It is like an insane right, like I have to basically make a right angle turn. Did you know this when you were given the spot like not it's it's on me like i didn't i didn't contextualize how tight

it would be with like tandem and so like do you care about your car i mean it's very dirty right now but like there is zero chance you're not going to fuck up your car. Yes. Three or four times. But it's, it's my grandfather's old car and it's like, it's from 2013 and he's kept it in such good shape. And I'm like, Oh God,

no, but the way you're describing this parking spot is even if you like figure it out and get it right, it's so tight that it only takes one kind of like minor fuck up and you're going to scratch the car. Yeah. Are you a good driver? Like would you handle that situation well? I'm a great parallel parker and I – but that's what I'm saying.

It only takes one minor time to just be looking at your phone or not paying attention or having a you know like in a rush in the morning you're running a little late like there's you got about a thousand with this spot well that's the thing you're coming in and out every day they're like it's just odds are like if and if you bat you know 99 out of 100 it's gonna be very visible one you're gonna come and go a hundred times in less than three or four months. And I, you know, there's that. And so like,

so that's, you know, just simple math over a year, you're going to come and go three or 400 times. So if you do it right, 99 out of a hundred times, that's four times. You're going to fuck up your car.

Let's get to Remy. Don't forget to send your questions at asknick at castmedia.com, cast with a K. And for our Ask Nick episodes, if you, as always, are tuning in to listen to Remy, welcome.

We have some great other content. If you're into The Bachelor and like recaps, we do that as well when The Bachelorette is on. We also have a relationship and agent show called Ask ask nick if you find yourself and struggling in any type of relationship situation often a situation ship we often provide

great insight and answers to people's questions and hear compelling stories and fascinating stories and we all learn together as it relates to dating and relationship struggles so be sure to check that out on mondays and also next week uh on the Bachelorette recap, we have the very hysterical and very wonderful Jim Jefferies is with us. Be sure to tune into that and get his Bachelorette hot takes.

Let's get to Remy. Remy, welcome. Thank you for having me. Thanks for coming. Yeah, you're great. And I really want, I wanted to come on and now I'm here. So I'm thrilled. Really? I'm flattered. How have you been? I'm good. I'm good.

I've been traveling the past few weeks. So was in Boston for a little for work. Now I'm in LA. Kind of excited to go back to New York. I'm here like another week. But like, just noticing how like New York I am as I'm here really yeah what do you mean by that like it's so wild to me that people like can't like walk around here like it's so strange it's not a walking city yeah but like I want to like and like everywhere like when I'm at the hotels I'm like can I just walk to the nail place like no I would really get in an uber and I'm like I just there's just nowhere to walk and I feel like the maybe it's just nowhere to walk and i feel like the maybe it's just i'm not used to the vibes i'm also traveling and like alone so i'm seeing

friends every day but i'm like i just feel like i've been alone a lot in these hotels yeah so definitely brings like a little bit of like a weird vibe that i'm just excited to go back to i'm like born and raised in new york so it's just like more comforting. Yeah, you feel a little bit more trapped in LA. I do feel that way. Because it's not a walking city or, yeah, to get around, it's not super convenient. And like New York, which is why, I mean, I love that city so much, is even if you're by yourself, you just kind of just step outside

and you just like kind of see where the energy takes you. Yeah, exactly. Like I'm like, okay, like I need to get outside today because I'm doing calls and things in my room. And then I'm just like, all right, cool. I could stay at the hotel, but like if you need to leave, it's just like a hassle to leave. So I'm in like staying in West Hollywood,

but I'm going to do Santa Monica for a little because I feel like getting the beach vibes will be good for my brain. But yeah. Yeah, do Santa Monica more than Venice. Yeah, Santa Monica is definitely better for the tourists. Yes. I don't want to call you a tourist.

I just want to be, yeah, yeah. I just want to be like on the beach and then you could walk around there a little bit more. So I feel like. It's a little cleaner in Venice. Yeah, so. And I love Venice. I lived in Venice. Oh, you did? I'd rather live in Venice than Santa Monica. there a little bit more so i feel like it's a little cleaner in venice yeah so and i love venice i lived in venice but oh you did i'd rather live in venice than santa monica but if i were visiting

interesting i think you should visit santa monica yeah do you think you'll ever move from new york i don't know i don't i always wanted to live in like another city eventually but like right now it's just i'm so comfortable in new y, plus everything I've been doing. And ever since I started on social media, I've been doing from home and been able to do all this stuff virtually. And then again, I'm happy traveling wherever needed. Like I love to like see new places. I never went to Boston, went there the other day. That was like fun for me. So I'm happy to travel.

I just maybe it's but like living long term right now, I just feel like there's no need to move from new york and my whole team is in new york um so coming here and just i mean i talk to them virtually every day and then seeing them tonight i could see them once in a while in person but you know you can be anywhere these days yeah i mean i i i love la i bought a house here but i don't think i would recommend moving from new york to la i love the i'm partial to new york but i don't think i would recommend moving from new york to alai i love the i'm partial to new york but i've never lived there so i don't know how often do you go well dally and i went in july and then we went back a couple weeks ago so we went twice in the past couple months i try to go like four or five times a year obviously with the pandemic that didn't happen yeah um but at least four or five.

We like going to New York rather than just like taking a vacation to a beach. That's interesting. That's nice. I prefer, like, you get nice weather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not trying to find good weather. True. Which is what I used to do when I was in Wisconsin. Good food in New York.

Oh, that's a big difference that I'm noticing. I'm like, I haven't had amazing meals. And I'm like, I think the food in New York is so much better. It's much easier to find in New York. Oh, that's a big difference that I'm noticing. I'm like, I haven't had amazing meals. And I'm like, I think the food in New York is so much better. It's much easier to find in New York. Yes. Because everything is easier to find, I think, in New York. There's fantastic restaurants in LA. But because it's so spread out and it's a little more niche,

you really need to know where to go. It's hard to just stumble into a good restaurant. Yes, definitely. Because there's a lot of bad ones in LA. And typically, if it's popular and it's sceny, it's not good food in LA. Got it. Noted.

So like I wouldn't get food recommendations from anyone in LA or on Instagram. Like who's like an influencer. Yeah. Because you're probably not going to get the best food unless they're food bloggers. Then maybe. Yeah.

For the people who I know you're huge on tiktok and you're just crushing the game but yeah of course people don't know me it's okay who are you like who am i yeah for the people who haven't yeah stumbled upon your so i have only been on social media for a year now like i just hit a year um wait like before that were you like off the grid yeah like i worked at bravo tv out of a college as an assistant and then i worked at jay-z's company at title doing partnership marketing got let go cool jobs yes cool jobs really did like my job at title like doing music i did a lot of events for them and stuff. And then I got let go in, I got furloughed in April of COVID when it started and then let go in July. So I just was like, what do I do with myself?

Because I like being a busy person. And I was like losing my mind a little bit after, because they were like, you're definitely coming back. And then they ended up letting go of all the people that were furloughed because obviously we never knew this would go on this long. So yeah, at that time, towards my like end time at or like when I was working at Tidal, I was loved it, but I was super stressed. So I stress ate a lot. I gained a lot of weight at the time, like 40, 50 pounds. And when I kind of didn't know what to do, my dad gave me the idea of like, why don't you look into plus modeling?

He's in fashion. And he gave me the idea where if he said that any time prior to this, I would have been like, don't you look into plus modeling he's in fashion and he gave me the idea where if he said that any time prior to this i would have been like i hate you but at this point like your dad saying yeah like i used to get so offended when he'd say anything that has to do with my weight but at this point i was kind of like what do i do and since there was no jobs in music entertainment like anything like i literally tried anything and I'm pretty like well connected in the space um I just kind of was like all right I will try my dad took like pictures of me against the white wall sent them to all different like modeling agencies heard back from one signed with them to be a fit model which for people that don't know it's

literally just like it's not like anything glamorous it's being in the showrooms and trying on clothes and then fitting them on you while you like don't speak basically. But you make good money. Oh, so fit models not like wearing spandex all day long. Right. You could be fitting a fit model for shoes like anything. See, I didn't know that. Yeah.

So I didn't even know that really existed either. But you make like really good money. So I was doing that. But I was't know that. Yeah. So I didn't even know that really existed either. But you make like really good money. So I was doing that. But I was like, wow, I'm literally they don't even like sometimes call you by your name. These brands like you're literally a stick to stand there so they could dress stuff on you. So but then the agency was like, oh, like we could see you doing modeling, modeling, too. Like, let's take your, you know, do some test shoots and see if you could like do it. And nothing was happening.

Like I'm a new model. It's during COVID. Wasn't getting jobs. Still losing my mind because I was bored. And then I came across on TikTok like the curvy fashion side of TikTok that I never knew existed. Like all these curvier girls like me making fashion videos and all of that. And I only thought TikTok was like dancing. So I was like, this is interesting. I think I could do this, but like in a funnier way or

whatever. But I never, basically nothing, I never thought it would get to this point. So made like four videos. No one saw them. Taught myself TikTok, taught myself how to edit, do all of that. I kind of was like, wow, this is a lot of work for nothing, not going to do it. And it was like the fifth video I did that was like for my friends making fun of myself and just being like, every single thing you buy online will never look like the model. Whether you're a bigger girl, skinny, tall, a guy, like whoever it is, it won't look like what you like picture it to look like. And instead of me crying about it, I make fun of myself. And knowing it's not my fault and it's the clothing's fault. Like every brand's different.

Sizing's different. Like it's a hard thing to find clothes. And I kind of made it funny. And it blew up. And did another one the next day. And then that kind of started my realistic hauls trend, which has gotten me now in like one year to two million followers. And I've, you know, it's been, it's my full-time job now. I was totally planning on going back into, you know, being on the opposite side of things in marketing and PR and all of that. And I'm not. Now I have,

you know, a whole team, agents, the whole thing. I'm doing, There's a lot in the works and I'm doing some exciting stuff. And it definitely turned into, I mean, it's amazing that this happened, but I never thought it would be something that, I thought it would be something funny. I never thought it would also be like helping thousands of people. Like people come up to me every single day in the street and they're like, I used to never leave my home. And like, now I do because of you. And thank you for like normalizing this, this, and this.

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people they've got incredibly comfortable t-shirts sweatshirts and jackets so you can now enjoy public rents better fitting comfort in all aspects of your wardrobe thank you for sharing yes uh let's let's backtrack a little bit some of the things you talked about can you give me example when you say someone's like i wouldn't leave my house but now i can because of you yeah what were some of those things that you were talking about that you're normalizing that would give people confidence yeah i think that my whole thing is about not blaming ourselves and not like feeling down on ourselves all the time because of clothing like and i used to when i gained all the weight a year ago you know used to stop going out stop talking to guys like didn't want to leave my apartment because i was just so embarrassed and uncomfortable and sitting in the same clothes that just didn't fit my body. I never knew,

okay, now I'm two sizes bigger. I didn't even know I could dress in cute, trendy clothes or feel like I liked myself anymore. So I think that people that are in a similar place that I think, and also you don't need to be like my following is so diverse. I would say it's definitely more female, but I mean like all ages and all body types, which I love because, yeah, I just I mean, other than talking about the clothing and, you know, not blaming yourselves and not blaming your body. I also talk about, you know, anxiety and mental health and how I still am continuing this binge eating and continuing to gain weight, which I'm trying to stop.

But it's an issue and just problems. I wouldn't call myself a body positive influencer. And I don't love when people call me that because my whole thing. What? Why don't you like it? Because I wouldn't say that. My whole point is that I got a following out of nowhere and I'm struggling, but I'm also living my life. So my followers are following my journey.

And I wouldn't say that I'm like this expert or influencer or like have some like really anything to give to these people other than just sharing what I'm going through. You're just like, this is what I'm doing. I don't know if it's good or it's bad. But like, I'm just going to try to love myself through the process kind of thing. Yeah. Like I wouldn't, I just won't be that person that's like standing in front of the camera every day. I'm like, I love myself because I'm not there yet. So to say that I'm this body positive influencer that loves my body as it is, I'm not, I'm not, I would love to get to that point, but I'm more just like living my life, going through it, showing that fashion and finding

clothes that work for me 100% boosted my confidence. And I'm in a better place than I was last year. And, you know, that's why I do these hauls and I make it funny and I make it fun and talk about how it's messed up the brands are that aren't inclusive and how, you know, show those brands and then also show brands that are making a difference. And how you know show those brands and then also show brands that are making a difference and you know I'm at now there's brands reaching out to me every single day like wanting me to help them be more inclusive so there's a lot of different it's it's going in a lot of different directions but yeah I mean I think the best part is just like normalizing it's okay to feel all these feelings and then people are just

telling me like thank you for making me feel seen and feeling that this all of this stuff is normal and and it can be talked about yeah i like that because i think you're it sounds if i'm hearing you're right you're just opening up the discussion yeah um because i think you think the body positivity we've talked about on the show before, I think some people might say, I don't know if it's criticism of the body positivity where it's just like where do you draw the line between, we all want to love ourselves, we all want to be happy with who we are, we all struggle at times. You talked about binge eating, you want to try not to do that

and trying to acknowledge where you want to like have improvement improvements and growth while simultaneously accepting yourself and who you are and i think if it's i don't know if it's critics about like you know some people like well why you know if you're being positive or you know what i'm trying to say where it's just like want to like, maybe that's not okay to like, you know, say binge eating for yourself. Like if people sometimes misconstrue body positivity with you saying it's okay if I binge eat and you're not saying that, but I feel like some people will be critical of that movement because they're not trying to work on themselves.

Yeah. And I think that it's exactly that. It's always like one way or the other. It's like, there's a lot of influencers I see and love them and it's great what they do, but like they've overcome an eating disorder. So they're just talking about how you should do this and this and this because it worked for them or body positive person that just loves their body. And every day they're preaching, you need to love your body. Like to me, it's not that simple. So like for me, I'm just like, okay, I'm a pretty normal girl. That's kind of struggled my whole life with different things from anxiety to eating, to just being overweight my whole life. But I've like always gone, I'm not giving up. And I want and I have so many exciting things going on.

And now I'm just like, OK, now I have a platform I never thought I had. And I'm just sharing all these things that I've shared with my friends, shared with my family. And now I'm like, people are listening. So it's just like I think my whole thing is relatable and realistic. It's just like. It's like body grace. Yeah.

You know, like having. I don't even know. Yeah, exactly. It's like I don't even have a like when someone was like body grace yeah you know like having i don't even know yeah exactly it's like i don't even have a like when someone was like what do you want like for certain things i do they're like what in articles and stuff it'll say body positive um influencer i mean there's all these different things and i always feel just like i shouldn't feel weird like you could call me whatever you want but i'm still trying to figure out like what it is i guess i want to be recognized as like in one thing i was like realistic content creator.

Like I don't know what to say because I'm just being real with how I feel. And like people like it, I guess. Well, what I learned is you can just let other people call you what they want. Yeah. And you can just do your thing and you don't have to worry about, you know, labeling yourself. Yeah. Because it's, you you know like i think body positivity like you know i think even like we all have things about ourselves that we're like i kind of want to change that yeah like that's okay too to want to change things uh whoever you are or whatever your size or whatever you're you know because like you

know like that's the thing it's just like sometimes people want to whoever you are people will be like someone might say well i want to change this about myself and other bones will like well you shouldn't want to change that yeah you should exactly my god you're so fortunate i wish i had x y or z or etc etc and then all of a sudden like the lines get a little muddy or cross between like just being positive versus like wanting to do something different. Yeah. I like the body grace. Yeah. It's like you're just having grace for like, I'm just kind of here trying to figure it out.

Figuring it out. And yeah, like I posted a video. I usually, I am a sensitive person. So I'm this, I see what people say. And I also am posting about a lot of like stuff that people don't talk about out loud. So, I mean, I definitely get feedback that sometimes upsets me or whatever. Yesterday, I actually posted a video of myself a year ago when I started the hauls. I was like, oh, I'll just do a throwback because I can't do hauls this week because I'm working

and in LA and whatever. Everyone on TikTok and Instagram will not stop commenting and I made in the set in the caption this is an old video and everyone's just like oh my god you look so skinny oh my god you look amazing oh my god did you lose weight and like I can't let that not get to me because I'm like wow didn't really know that I looked that different from one year ago guess I need to do something about that and I made a joke about that and And then, you know, you have the other people commenting, like, you don't need to do anything about it. Like, leave it as is. But like, I'm not super happy in my body right now. So like, that's the thing. I am being realistic. I'm not saying like, I need to like, be what I used to be exactly or need to like, figure it out, like, and make it

like a perfect situation. But i need to find a way to make myself happier and clearly the weight is one thing that bothers me especially if i'm at a point where i've gained 50 to 60 pounds i'm not super comfortable so i don't need everyone's opinion but you know what at the same time putting myself on social media i'm i'm gonna get everyone's opinion and yes i'm gonna read it like i am you know it's not everyone right yeah like and feels like everyone yeah you know that yeah but yeah i i i totally agree with you and i i like that i love love that because you can simultaneously say i'm not okay with this but but today I'm wearing this. Yeah, exactly.

I look great in it. I love this. I'm going to go out. I'm going to great time. I feel good. I feel sexy. And doesn't mean I don't want to do something about how I, you know, might feel overall about myself, but I can still feel good in this moment.

Exactly. And I think that is a huge thing that changed about how I feel this year compared to last year. Like I'm not, clearly I'm putting myself out there. Clearly I'm, you know, I'm here and I'm there and I'm, I, and yes, when I find clothes that like look good on me, I'm in 10 times better of a mood and want to go out. I do think that like, instead of us crying and sitting and being upset about the clothes, my point is like showing people like it actually can do the opposite effect and make us feel really good. And I'm kind of trying to do that like heavier, annoying work of like finding the clothes, using my body and then having people see this either will or won't work for me, for me realistically showing them. Usually people,

and again, it's like more fashion TikTok women stuff. So even if you haven't seen it's like more fashion TikTok women's stuff. So even if you haven't seen it, like usually hauls on TikTok and stuff like that are all just the good clothes. And my whole thing was that people didn't do is I was showing the bad clothes on me too. That literally I'm like, this looks insane. Why are we going to pretend? Like no one was showing the real stuff. Like everyone was just showing what looked perfect on social media. And that's what I'm like trying to change. and was just showing what looked perfect on social media. And that's what I'm like trying to change. Yeah.

And I mean, I don't know a ton about this stuff, but regardless of, you know, skinny, medium, plus size, everything, you can look bad and you can have bad looks and good looks in all of them. Everyone feel has, I can't say everyone, but a lot of people feel the same way and you could be super skinny. And that's why I give more and I look more into because I always like for some reason have just had like all pretty skinny friends like that just ended up in my group of friends from college and stuff like I really always was the one bigger girl and I it's okay but I used to

get annoyed when like some of my friends would like complain about how they felt. And so tough being skinny and all these things. And I have completely changed my mindset on that. Because I used to get like bitter in my head about it. And now I do see more like everyone can have insecurities. And like I see on TikTok people picking on people where they talk about how they feel about their body that are like skinnier. And I see like horrible comments of people like you don't even get it like oh shut up you're so skinny and i'm like i like will comment on those videos because i get so upset for that person you have no idea

what they're going through yeah i i mean it was like actually it was during the pandemic i posted like a thirst trap photo and it wasn't the first time but um i was and it got like it got picked up but i i was like body shamed by like all i could assume like a bunch of midwest moms yeah who said i looked too skinny and i'm relatively someone who who's always been confident i've been very fortunate with like my metabolism and i haven't ranged, you know, in size, but as a younger man, I was called skinny a lot and it kind of bugged me a little bit and I

looked at some weights or whatever, but I was surprised because I like, I thought I looked good and I like posted it. And then all of a sudden it was just like, all these people saying that you're skinny, you look sick. And I, and I was just like,

I'm bothered. Like it's like hurt my yeah i hated i hated giving them credit for it but especially when it's something you don't see and like that's how the thing was yesterday like i was like oh i'm just posting this video and i didn't know i looked that different but now all these people are seeing i did like i guess i do and it's just something now i know all right now i have to now i know it i'm not like sitting and crying about it but like it's definitely like gets you a little bit what do you do with that woke up and went to the gym this morning no I mean I I'm trying to do these things like clearly like I said like I'm not letting all of that that definitely affected me in some way but I wanted to get up and go to the gym anyways this morning. You know, like I really do go with like my gut and what I want to do.

And like I said, I'm not happy because I don't feel that happy in my body, not because everyone else is telling me anything. So I'm trying to figure out how to work on that. But it hurts a little and it definitely makes me think, OK, yeah, a lot of people notice it and I don't. Then maybe that's something I don't want to let it. I don't know what to say. It's hard to speak correctly about it.

Like, I'm like, I don't want to let it get worse. But then yes, a lot of people would be like, well, you know, they,

people comment and look at my body of people that follow me. And they're like, I wish I had your body, but like, and that's so amazing. And I appreciate that. But like, I don't feel comfortable.

It's, it's definitely a weird, well, I kind of, your point, it's just, we all have our own bodies. Yeah. We're all like, we're always dissatisfied.

You know what I'm saying? Like whatever it is. Yeah. It doesn't matter. They have great hair. I wish I had their hair. Or I guess I'm thankful I have the hair I have. Yeah, we all want what we don't have.

Yeah, we're always comparing and we shouldn't compare what we do. the hair I have versus something. Yeah, we all want, we don't have. Yeah, we're always comparing and we shouldn't compare what we do. And when it comes to obviously body types and weight, and we have opinions and we get, you know, it's hard. It's impossible to try to say the right thing or do the right thing.

But it sounds like you're having a far more positive impact with people. And maybe the biggest takeaway is just a reminder of just being okay with who you are but still being open to the possibility of self-improvement 100 you know because like i mean we always have to whatever it is it doesn't matter our health our weight our our our point of view on life and relationships you, like we always should be trying to get better. Yeah. Right. I think sometimes we have to be careful not to confuse positivity with growth.

A hundred percent. You know, and sometimes we get into the weeds a little bit with that type of stuff. Would you consider yourself a confident person? Yes. So I think that, again, I separate separate it which a lot of people don't i think there's like mental confidence and body confidence and i think that i've since i've been little just been this like super i'm remy bader i'm confident this is who i am yes i'm sensitive and i get broken down sometimes and then i snap myself back as like this is who i am so you could be confident and sensitive yes is anyone not sensitive these days? Some, just some of my friends don't care about anything.

And I'm just like, I wish I was like you. Some, like some people are just so relaxed. And I'm like, wow, I wish I could be like that. But at the same time, I think it's worked against me and worked. Like I'm definitely an overthinker and I definitely like look into everything. But I think that's also good for me being in like I don't know the public eye and for friends like friendships and all these things like I'm very like aware of everything going on um but yeah sometimes it's like too much for people the body thing is so separate to me and it's really

interesting because when I make these videos that's more of my personality and I'm not looking at my body making the videos. I'm really just like, oh, was that funny? This is me. Whatever. Like it didn't even start as me looking into what I was doing. I actually I do everything off. I just say what's on my mind. I don't prescript the videos.

And I also am trying on the clothes for the first time in front of the camera. videos and I also am trying on the clothes for the first time in front of the camera. So when I do that, I think I'm never even looking back on the videos and being like upset about my body or anything. I'm looking at that like, oh, people think it's funny. That makes me happy kind of thing. But it's interesting that more and more when I'm alone is when I feel that sense of like not being confident and stuff. Like it's like almost like this whole community I've built like makes me feel better about myself, not worse, like not the mean like your fat comments or those like all the positive stuff that people say to me i'm i notice things about myself i never noticed in a good way like what like i like always forever like hated my teeth and like everyone literally well my forefront

teeth are fake i got them punched out by a four-year-old when i was babysitting when i was 10 yeah great teeth. Thank you. But like if you're with fake teeth, like it's going to bother you and you're going to always stare at them and like all this stuff. And my sister's like, you have problems because I like don't understand why you constantly talk about your teeth. I'm over it now. Everyone comments they love my teeth.

And like now I do too. So like I know it's like, again, like everyone's like, don't listen to what people say and whatever. But like that in a good way made me just realize, oh, it's something I didn't notice about myself that now I kind of like. Yeah. No one can tell you what I like. I get annoyed when my friends like if I post my close friend's story like about something like that someone said or something or like a mean comment that I don't want to post publicly. But I'm like, oh, screw this person.

And I don't want to post publicly, but I'm like, oh, screw this person. And they're like, don't read the comments, Remy. I'm like, no one can say anything or how you go about like your social media journey because it's so, no one gets it unless you're in the position. My whole thing is I like to connect to my followers, respond to a lot of them and like make them, that's why I feel like so many people come up to me and like jump on hug me like in my face whatever because I feel like people just feel like they could be my friend and they already are my friend so like no one can tell you like what to do in this journey it's such a hard it's such a hard thing and I've been I have been having a hard time with it like I've been having it's very overwhelming of course like also sometimes on TikTok it's weird and your videos can just get to the wrong side of TikTok I guess that's what people would say like I don't have really a lot of male followers

I have like a five percent male following and like I made this video that like went viral that was it was a video about I'm like 150 to 200 pounds or something and people would like show their bodies of how they look because all different weight shouldn't matter blah blah and I made a video that was like well I'm 250 pounds I showed myself in bikini and I think I look pretty decent in the video and it like that was an older video like I mean like three months ago and all of a sudden yesterday it got put out yesterday was just a bad day for me but it just got put on this wrong side of TikTok and I'm getting all these like men that are just like you're literally 700 pounds like you are a man like you just like like hundreds of comments of people just saying crazy things and it's like stuck on that side of TikTok and just the past three days I'm just getting and I'm like I just keep blocking blocking blocking

but I see it I can't help but see it so it's's like, it's, I'm not, it's hard to not, when I'm putting all of this out there, get the negative feedback. And I know everyone gets it. I'm sure you've gotten shit, like everyone gets stuff, but it's, it is hard when it's like my, me, my body, my personality, like every little thing I'm talking about. So I, I, I have to be okay with getting shit back. I'm impressed. I mean, I'm, I'm because I, I actively try not to read comments. Yeah. I don't always do a great job. And, you know, like you said, like you're making an active

choice to engage with your audience, right? You want to to be present you want to go out of your way to you know connect with them right and to do that part of it is reading responding all those things and that's that is something i've really struggled with because you know i i'm an incredibly confident person a lot of ways but i also am sensitive too and i don't i I can go down rabbit holes. Yeah. And like I have great perspective on a lot of things, but like sometimes like it's like the part of my brain that has perspective just says, well, I'm just going to take the day off. Yeah.

And it's impressive that you can do that because yeah, whoever you are, if you have any type of following, yeah, whoever you are, if you have any type of following, it's, sometimes I get afraid of positive comments because I just feel like my subconscious, you know, will obviously want to believe that validation. It's like, yeah, I like that you said that, or I love this.

And then it's out of nowhere. It's just like when I'm feeling the most good about myself, I'll get smacked with some like criticism. And then where is it coming from? You know, is it a small group of people like trolls or whatever trying to elicit a response? And I have a hard time managing that.

So, so props to you for, for doing that because obviously your audience does really appreciate the fact that you do do that yeah when it does go bad though when you have a bad day because like the story just told it sounds so fucking awful and yeah like what do you do to take care of your mental health still figuring that out because yesterday was i really couldn't snap out of it and i was like really really having a bad day that I made videos to my followers being

like so I'm this is going on with me like for once I'm asking you guys advice what do you do when you're in a funk because I think people also don't get maybe don't see or they see me as a hundred percent confident so confident so they're always asking me on Instagram and then when I do certain things like how do I be as confident as you how the other day I'm five like like 50 people asked me how do you get out of a funk when I posted something about like mental health and I'm like wait I don't I'm I have to let you guys know I don't have the answer because the last like three times that I've gotten into this funk I literally don't want to do luckily I'm in a hotel. It's not something I could do every day, but I booked a massage. That helped. I went to the pool, put my phone away for two hours, and literally just swam alone. And I ended up feeling better. But I was like having an anxiety

attack of just like all of this happening with that other video, with the other video, with the comments, like just like kind of everything. And then also like feeling like I'm working and because I respond to every, like a lot of people, my brain's going 24 seven and it's just a lot. So I think that I definitely need to figure it out and I need to like manage myself better because yes, even though I'm giving, I'm giving so much of myself to everyone else and I'm like losing a little bit of myself and taking care of myself so I do need to like manage that better yeah it's tough I mean I'm not very good at getting out of a funk look I've gotten much better at avoiding the funks yeah I have gotten better at getting out of the funk but it's still I think it's also I'm not my whole life change I'm not

in a routine I can realistically do what I want in a day. But if you, I don't know how you go about your day, but like if I do get up earlier and I'm somewhere and start my day and busy, I don't get into those funks. So I think when I have more free time on my hands and in control of my own schedule, like that's not good for me because I'm not being told what to do. And I just need more of like a structure.

I think that's like the person I am and this whole life is like the opposite of a structure. Yeah, well, it's the structure is to be flexible. I don't know. Yeah. Because anyway, damn, we went down a path there. Yeah, it's incredible. You have a lot of strength.

Thank you. To read comments. And be so giving of yourself to your audience. It does come with a toll. Yeah, definitely. I hope your audience appreciates that about you. I think they do. I envy your ability to do that. Thank you.

Also, can I tell you that I love your girlfriend? I got in a rabbit hole myself of stalking you guys. And then no longer with you just stalking her and then more interesting than me and I was like wow just love this girl and I followed her and she followed me right back and I was like cute now we're friends she yeah she's like this baby girl followed me I'm like yeah no I'm interviewing her she's like really yeah she's a fan of of you as well thank you for saying i'll of course i'll let her know um what are some things uh when it comes to fashion and sizing uh that brands should and can do better when it comes to also

do you do you have an answer why and i i find this with men's sizing too i find this with footwear why is there not like a standardized sizing chart like what the fuck's up with yeah you have answers on that i feel like this is your lane yeah i think that that would make life so much easier for everyone i don't think that will ever change and i think it depends on the quality of clothes and just every also like you start somewhere and it's actually like grading those sizes and stuff you can't once you start it's very difficult to change that so all these think of all these brands and companies and retailers that started so long ago like they're not all of a sudden they are they

have these people that know like all right i'm two sizes bigger there or i'm this size there so to just change that up they're not all willing to do and it's it's just that for me i'm just like what is the simplest answer just like add a few sizes and the answer for that that a lot of people give me and i also asked a lot when i was doing fit modeling like so why don't you just have like bigger bras like why well the the money that goes into the material and the structure also a lot of places will the plus sizes will be more money than the smaller sizes because you're using more material sure and that pisses people off too that is realistic but like the whole point is like people are like don't want to spend more money on that when to me i think it's

insane because i'm like you will make so much more money the average woman in like the u.s is like a size 18 and you don't even have up to a size past a size 12 it's like beyond me like it just frustrates me because I'm just like it's so passing out on passing on these all these customers yeah and I think that that's why you know let's say like I just did a big like modeling campaign for Abercrombie and it was a very half and half with the feedback because so many people were like this is amazing and then a lot of people were like which I remember too where my sister who's way smaller than me like always went into abercrombie and i would stand outside the door with my mom she'd go in with my dad because i'm

like abercrombie just never fit me in my life and the ceo used to be very like make comment like fat phobic kind of thing right yes so like people especially if you get look on tiktok and see abercrombie stuff like people will still talk about it, not be over it. And I'm like, they have a new CEO. They clearly years later have new people working there. They're making such a point to promote their curvy line and just all different types of people and increase their sizing. Anyone at this point who's making a difference or trying to make a change, I support. Some of my followers don't like that. And they're like, well, they didn't used to or they're not doing it soon enough. I don't care. This is where the change comes in. And what's really interesting with my whole thing is realistic hauls. A lot of those

brands I made fun of, now I'm working with or doing things with, and people don't like that. I'm doing that to make a change. I was the first plus size model on Free People's website. Otherwise, what's the point? Yeah. And people are like, well, now you're working with them and you're not really being realistic like when people see ads. And I'm like, I have to make money if this is my full time job now. And I do it in a very strategic way.

The realistic calls I still do. I go out and I buy $700, $800 of clothing by myself. I don't do it from all these brands that give me clothes. I buy my own clothes for the Realistic Hall so I'm not tied to a brand and I can say whatever I want about them. But then I do have those ads where I have to be a little more,

I only will work with a brand that I like. So like I already previously have made that decision when I'm working and when they're paying me. When you say hall, you mean like a hall of clothes? Buying a bunch of clothes from one brand one i feel like everyone but me knows what you're talking about no a lot of people don't it's okay that doesn't make i i don't i mean i i this world is full of a bunch of people who don't want to help themselves or just want to bitch and complain but i don't understand like you're trying to enact change. Yeah. You're trying to do something about the problem.

You've identified the problem, and yeah, you're being funny, and yeah, it's entertaining in people, but you're, isn't that, I mean, maybe I'm just ignorant here, but why, it's shocking. I mean, it's not shocking, again, my point is, it's not shocking people complain, people complain, but you're getting people, like like it seems like what you're doing correct me if i'm wrong is amber crummy or whatever these brands are they're making actual

changes so that people women in the future plus size people who in the past would go shopping with friends there and they would try something on and then they wouldn't find something in their size and made them feel good about themselves that they could wear and then they would leave disappointed about their friends they're like I got your outfit and now they are yeah they could see it on a different type of body and they're like oh I can shop there and I'm just getting more of the feedback like why are you going in the revolve trips you're the only plus size girl they're using you or free people's using you on their website to look good i'm like i don't care it's literally that's first of all i'm getting the benefit out of it you're using them and also

exactly and like i'm like great like now people like they're like well there's no you're the only one on free people's website like that i'm like great so this is the start and let's really hope that they start to now do this more often like there's just nothing that's going on with the whole realistic thing i'm like i can't listen to all that shit because i'm just like we have this is all this is what it is now it's my full-time job i gotta make money get over it like it's just well not only making money but you're like i said you're and changing you're changing a lot of people go out and they do stuff on social media and they make money sure and they have the right to quit their job yeah but like no one asks them to quit their job and yeah no one will ever realize how much thought i put into every single thing i do i

never just do it yep that brand deal i'm gonna do it like i literally sit on stuff for days and make sure are my followers gonna like this does this mean a lot to me is this the right thing like i really think about everything because i just want to be like i don't i never want to lie and i want to be true to my followers and like i that's what i'm trying to do and if some people don't like it they don't like it well we can't make everyone happy 100 i know that now i just like recently i bought a t-shirt in new york and like i had i got a small and i'm a guy who usually wears large and and i felt weird i felt like like i almost can i was i love the shirt i almost considered not buying it yeah because i didn't want to have to need a small shirt because it made me feel small yeah like as a man you know i i guess that maybe that's toxic the toxic masculinity side of you

coming i don't know but it's uh and i think those moments give you perspective and the mindset of everyone out there kind of yeah, whatever they're going through. And I'm Abercrombie. In Abercrombie, I'm a size bigger. And I tell everyone, you must get a size bigger in their jeans. They just run a little small. And like even my mom like made a comment of like,

like I think she almost didn't even want to go in. And the fact that she would be a certain size bigger. I'm like, who? I literally got pissed off. I'm like, who cares what the number is? But to some people it means so much yeah i don't know if you change that right because it's all relative you could come out with a whole new sizing chart in a couple years people will know instinctually what that means like yeah you could get rid of small medium large xl i always say that i wish i want there to be like I wish that it was like words

or something like happy like obviously not like I'm I don't know what the words would be but that like there's the number just like the number on the scales like scares so many people and I'm not saying it doesn't scare me like I it scares me too because that's what we've always been like that's what we were like brought up knowing and I I think that it, I a hundred percent think it should change. I always say like, who cares about the size? Because now I'm more okay with just knowing, all right,

some places I'm a 14, some of 16, some I'm an 18, but I, it fits me. So I'm going to, I love Abercrombie jeans. I'm an 18 in them.

I've gotten over that. I'm an 18 in them. I like how they look on me. Yeah. Who, what are some of the, you mentioned Abercrombie, uh, some of the brands that have

really made strides and what are some of the brands who not so much yet to answer that backwards the only one that i did that i have more bash on because i wouldn't say a bash on the brand i do like the good and the bad but brandy melville has one size in their stores brandy melville one size and it's like a small they have one size yeah their whole thing is one size and like they weren't talking about they got away with that well i like went crazy small it's like doesn't say small it's just one size but like what kind of person fits in so like i went in the store in the city i was like i gotta go in person what a fucking elitist and it's so yeah it was like all like tiny girls like

loving brandy buying a million things and I'm walking around I'm like oh they also don't have like a you can't like return the clothes and like it's like a store like a store credit thing like none of these bigger retailers do that you can return clothes so I went in like all of this stuff and I just like did a whole video of like oh yeah like the skirt fits my arm like just like going off on them but i would say that's like the worst of the worst and people like went crazy did the brand respond no and that was funny because that was like the one video that like a brand hasn't responded because they were probably just it's not like they in their mind were like let's make changes they've gotten away with it for so long that i feel like they're like screw this girl i guess right if they're gonna be so bold to have one size it was just a matter of time

yeah but like people still shop there sure so maybe i should do another haul soon because that was a few months ago but for like the good for brands that have made a difference i mean stores like even like nasty gal pretty little Pretty Little Thing, all have plus sizes. Fashion Nova, Abercrombie, Madewell. Zara isn't there yet. That's my biggest that I like make fun of, but I do actually find great stuff there. And then sometimes nothing fits. It's like a real hit or miss.

Free People hasn't made changes in their sizes, but like I said, like trying to make changes in their models and what they do, but I I said, like trying to make changes in their models and what they do, but I would love to see them like do more with that. It's like now that I'm like on the spot, I can't think of the brands when I do so many. You did a lot. Yeah, there's some.

I'm just trying to give the audience some suggestions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do talk about relationships and dating on this podcast. Yes. You talk about mental health. You talk about body positivity. You talk about relationships and dating on this podcast. You talk about mental health. You talk about body positivity. You talk about confidence. What's your dating life like? And I don't care who you are or what you look like. Dating can be a real bugaboo on people's confidence because

we have more failures in dating than successes. What's love like for you right now? And how do you go about keeping a positive outlook on love and relationships? Well, never had a boyfriend, I'm 26. Oh, okay. I get a lot of questions about, I'm 25 or 26. I've never had, is that bad? And I don't think so. But what is your point of view?

Yeah, so that's another thing I talk about open and honestly, not super often, but did say it again the other day and that I think it's so freaking normal that like, I like really don't have an issue with it. I think that 26 to me is very young. And I think that a lot of my friends right now from school and stuff are getting married and doing all that and that teaches own like that's great but for me I think I always like I grew up having like a lot of guy friends too from like high school and stuff and I'm not like I've always my town was wild and I feel like

everyone just like casually hooked up and like didn't date as much. But I definitely am not really saying everyone like I was always like the guy's girl that every guy has always and still now comes to me for advice about other girls. And I think I put myself in that place and totally friend zone myself. And that might be just because I am used to it slash I love being friends with guys. I don't know. But I I've asked a lot of my guy friends to like because in the past I've gone back and forth with like. I don't know. But I've asked a lot of my guy friends too, like, because in the past, I've gone back and forth with like, why don't, why aren't guys interested in dating me to like, I don't care. Right now I'm in a very I don't care place because I'm so busy and I'm not currently really dating. But I've asked guys and they've told me like,

guys and they've told me like one that i'm like could put out an intimidating vibe to that i like put out that i'm more like i don't know like sexual casual friend situation but i'm like well i'm not doing that on purpose so maybe that's just what you guys think are you asking like all my guy friends but like i so maybe that's like deep in the back of my head i've probably gone on like four or five dates in my life and i've had situate you know times where like my friends have pushed me into doing it and i've done it and i'm happy i did and i'm like now i'll start dating more and putting myself out there i it's so funny because i'm the most like open person and not nervous and when it comes to dating like i actually want to like no like die like I'm like literally like panicking the whole day like freaking out like just going into a date like freaks me out and I just what scares you the most like just like I mean I just feel like the

fact that it's so like set up and I don't know the person and it's like well they might like really not like me and I think I am at a point so this is what happened like a few I did a partnership with Bumble and I made a whole video because that's what my mind was like telling me at the time to say and I said that you should never let your weight or how you feel about yourself hold you back from dating then a few months later I made another video and I was like I'm sorry I take that back and I I don't feel I think the reason I'm not dating right now and not like currently hooking up with guys and all that is because I always was super confident when it at least came to like sex part of everything like never bothered me. And now even that's like out like I and it's all because of how I feel about my body. So I do think that that's if I don't feel good enough about myself, how am I supposed to sit there and like try and not sell myself because that's not the word but like you know like like i'm gonna be thinking in my head the

whole time like negative things about myself of what this guy's potentially thinking about me i'm not anti-dating i guess i'm just not making any efforts right now because there's so much more i'm focused on but if someone came to me or if the opportunity presented itself someone set me up like i wouldn't say no probably no probably no it's interesting i mean you've early on you talked about or you acknowledge that again you accept yourself but right now you don't feel like you're your best self yeah and that you know does that make sense am Am I saying that right? And I guess on some levels, if we're not feeling our best self, there's like, I always tell people, like if dating take breaks, like I'd say, take a break,

like whatever, just chill out. Like if you're not bringing your A game, whatever it means to you, just don't. But on the flip side, like when are we ever at our best, you know? And I guess just finding that happy medium media so many people just keep saying like put yourself out there more like i feel like you always talk about on your social stuff like that you're not dating like why don't you try and all this stuff and then like the other day literally made a post about that and i was just like if your friends are

forcing you to go date and all this stuff and you don't want it right now it's okay and i got hundreds of messages of people just being like thank you for like one making it okay and normal that like you never have had a boyfriend and two that like you don't need to force yourself a date if you're not i don't think it should be forever like if this is me talking in 10 years and i'm still saying the same thing it won't go on a date i think that you might need a kick in the pants yeah yeah no for sure you gotta take breaks i mean i couldn't agree with you more about not having a boyfriend i spent our girlfriend like especially in this day and age like we're just not settling down as early as we used to yeah at the risk of like disqualifying all like early dating situations for young people like it's really just practice now you know like

50 years ago uh yeah if you dated when you're 18 you're like i don't know this maybe this might be a wife but now it's just like everybody's like bro you're not gonna marry her so like yeah exactly and some of my friends i just think i see it they see it so different and that's okay and they're like oh like all of our friends right now have are like some of them are even getting engaged and married. So like and I'm just like sitting there alone. I'm like, who cares? Like you'll meet someone at or like, you know, like I just see it so differently, but everyone looks at things differently. I have a lot going on for me right now, like careerized. So I think that's why my focus is there. Or if maybe I didn't have as much happening and I wasn't stressed and busy and like have no time for myself then maybe

i would think differently and be like all right now i have more time to think about guys maybe i should get on i'm on the apps i just and like maybe once a month or once every two months i'll like scroll and then be like done seems like a decent amount yeah people are on there too much sometimes yeah so we'll see i'm not i don't want to put out there that i'm like anti-dating anti-finding someone if i am if i see someone and i'm like attracted to them or something like i will i'm open i'll put myself out there and then when i don't feel the like i like made myself actually recently do that i was at like a concert or something and i was like remy go, just go up to this guy.

Like, this is practice for you. Like, whatever. I was like into it. And then, and I like know him through people, whatever we like made out. And then I was like, we never really spoke again. He was like, yeah, I'll definitely hit you up. Like whatever. He never said anything.

And that definitely puts a, I guess like back in my head, like, well, then I'm just going to stop trying again. I know it shouldn't, but I just like, that bothers me. I'm like, but you're human, you're human, but you're like,

God, there's so many, I mean, again, I'm love where I'm at right now and I've had a fun dating life, but I can't, I mean, so many times I chickened out or didn't say hi to someone.

Yeah. And plenty of times where, you know of times where you know our like everyone gets rejected yeah you know and it's maybe that's why i avoid it all around though like maybe i'm just like can't maybe i can't take the the hit of on top of everything else like now i'm just gonna start very few people can i don't i just got a lot of i mean you know there's always a couple like dudes at a bar at 2 a.m who like have no problem going around and being like hey you want to go home you want to go home i think most of us very much fear of rejection all the time yeah um you know when you're definitely not alone there yeah i think it's great that you like went up to that guy yeah i think i'll i think

it'll happen when it happens and i think like i know how i get in my i don't know i haven't like really really liked someone in like maybe like two three years or something because i like my mind was fully only set on that and i got really i've always had like situations like i've never like serious serious but like there was this guy I really liked and I got really upset about that and I kind of just was like I'd rather not like anyone than feel that way and feel knowing that like my brain like wraps around it and I'm focused on that I literally would don't know how to do that on top of everything else I'm doing so I think that's why I'm like avoiding but yes I think there's a difference of like having fun and dating and stuff but like every so many girls or maybe guys to like think in their head like do you like when you were dating like do you what's it called there's like

a name for it when you think like could I be with this person long time term could I have kids yeah what future tripping future tripping it was in a book i read once i think yeah i think it works for me i'm not familiar with the future tripping a lot of these terms if i just made that up i'm no i really think you're right but i think that it's like when you like a lot of girls will like think way past than just going on a date and having fun yeah because you're like well with will this be long term and i don't as long as i i'm to dating, as long as I don't do that. You know, as long as I truly make it a fun. Great that you don't do that.

I'm not saying I don't. I'm saying I better not. Like, I hope I don't. Because I just, I just need to like, I just know a lot of my friends, like they'll go on one date and then just be like, like, do you think this could go longer term? All this stuff. I'm like, ah, like, I think I just avoid all conversations because it just gives me anxiety. I think men do it too.

Maybe not as much as women, but I think maybe that's just society and of how we used to date way back in the day versus now. But yeah, I mean, men have their own insecurities and fears when it comes to to dating and rejection yeah everyone everyone does everyone has it and i think there's going to be a point when i need to or when i start having more maybe free time or like just feel like i've gotten my own shit together a little more which i said i'm working on so once i think that that will be the when the

time is right and i feel like I'm like ready and maybe want to swipe some more again if someone came to me and it was the other way. A big thing that I didn't mention is that ever since I started having a following, not one guy messages me or slides my DMs. I feel like I've like noticed I've like even guys I always talk to are talking to me less i that has definitely been like a big thing for me that i'm like confused of why i used to get that more than i do now like so you're saying no people used to sign into your dm yeah not so much anymore yeah i think that my you know i've asked people that too and like friends and they're like i think you should stop asking your

guy friends i ask everyone everything it's really bad like i always like need so many opinions and i do what i want in the end of the day but no i did ask i asked certain i asked girls like some girl and that everyone's answer is the same though and i think it's bullshit everyone's answer well they're intimidated because you have a following i'm like no i think if a guy would want me they would slide into my dms regardless and i think that personally this is what I think. I think that the content I put out is not sexy. It's not like it's like a little like like goofy and showing my body and showing talking about that. I've gained weight and like deep stuff that maybe just guys are freaked out by. I don't have an answer.

Yeah, I know. No one does. But I think that's what's on my mind. And I'm like, it's going to take a very special person that's super on board with what I'm doing because I'm not planning on stopping doing it. I will say I don't, I never got DM slides. Like people, especially like when asked about it, like when I was on the show, people just assume that I'm getting like hundreds a day. Yeah. Not remotely the case so I do

think they're I don't know like the intimidating part I don't like I do like like please don't listen to any of your guy friends that think reason why like guys you're they haven't dated you is because you're somehow too intimidating like and maybe you are for them like great then that's not someone you should date yeah um so definitely don't dull that down i don't think you're going to you don't need me to say that but yeah just a just a reminder but i i do think having a following can be intimidating i do think i think a lot of people like why would i bother she's not going to reach out to me i don't i don't the way like you're I

can't I can't speak for all guys but I don't I don't really don't think guys care about that's you know like you know like you know when people like there was this tiktok going a viral ttac and some a girl it opened up with like when did all women have to be like 120 pounds or something like that did you see that tic-tac and then it got stitched by this guy eating a pop tart this yeah the bigger guy like a big like a bodybuilder whatever it doesn't really matter what the fuck he looked like but he's like women his answer was women seem to judge other women more and he was i i didn't necessarily disagree with a lot he said yeah he mentioned like when

it comes to like stretch marks and scars and a lot of hair. Like, yeah, there's plenty of fucking asshole dudes out there. But I think for the most part, guys don't care about that stuff. Like a lot of my guy friends and you date someone and you're dating someone for the, you know, you're new, you just started dating and there's a little bit of nervousness. I don't want to, you know, and then the guys are like, I don't care.

You're naked. Great. Yeah. I'm just looking at a micro level. And that's why the way you just said, I think it's because I'm kind of opening up the door and shining a light on imperfections that guys. Yeah. Like I'll make videos like I'm so uncomfortable because now I have these stretch marks I never

had in my life. I just don't think guys care about that. Yeah. Like in a bad way. I don't know. In my experience, I mean, I don't know. Anyway, we just went down a road. I love that you remain open

despite you being busy. And that's a very valid reason to... Do you hate the why are you single single i think we should cancel that i don't really get i don't get the why are you single i just get a lot of people pushing me to like why aren't you dating or like you should be dating or you should be putting yourself out there and i'm like enough i'll do it sounds like you are though i'm i'm no i i mean i haven't but you're open you're on dating apps like what do you yeah what more do people want from you yeah you're available to exactly i think it's because some people really do the extreme that i know and like we'll just

because those are the people that say it to me and they're like you're not dating it's a part-time job once a week and they're really that's like a priority for them and all that stuff and i'm like that's you this is me i absolutely like just don't really want to do that i think it's a little like forceful when some people do that like i just don't think but like a lot of people also do that and then they end up finding who they end up with so it's just it just depends like i just don't i don't want to put like that much time and effort to it right now when i feel like i'm young and have other things going on there's so much time my parents got remarried to each like they were both married before and had me at my mom and me at 39 i'm like

you know there are a lot a lot of seeing my friend group and like they got married my two best friends at 25 recently my guy and girlfriend it's like that doesn't change my mindset i'm like that i'm so happy that's what they wanted. It's not what I want. Yeah. Now, to me, the way you're describing it, you are dating and you're open to dating. I'm not dating, but I'm open to it.

But that's the same thing. Like I haven't wanted to date in like a year and a half or two years. I don't know. Fine. But I guess what I'm trying to say is i like your perspective because i think we are a little too as you just say you know and yeah fuck if you like if you go all out you'll find somebody i don't know if they're your person you might waste a lot of time and we all

have our struggles with dating i'd like that you are preoccupying your time with things that are bringing value to your life right now. And you haven't sworn off dating at all. DMs are open, whether they're being utilized or not. You're free to slide in. I think you're gonna be just fine, is what I think. Thank you. Remy, this has been a ton of fun. Before we let you go, we like to play a fun, simple game with our audience called Do You Know Me?

Okay. So we can get to know you even better. It's just random questions that require very simple answers. And if you have anecdotal stories to elaborate on, feel free to share. Okay. Our simple yes or no answers are also fine. Do You Know Me with R remy bader question number one does remy get told they look like a certain celebrity yeah i get told so many random people

but one that like annoyed me for a while and now i think is funny is um now i'm gonna forget her name she's like have you ever seen legally blonde i feel like you're gonna know jennifer coolidge jennifer coolidge i know that name but i can't she's she was in america the mom stifler's mom an american pie no you'll have to know you know it's a voice it's your voice what a hot dog real bad it's your you don't look anything like her and like the personality over your voice yeah katherine hon do you know who that is i get that a lot i don't mind that i mean these are like older women but like she's like stifler's mom it's it's the voice i think the stifler's mom's kind of a compliment i think that's fun oh people love i love that but like yeah she's definitely like older now and like i see it in the eyes but like

yeah there's so many random people and then i don't know them and i'll google them and i'm like that's interesting i don't really care does remy want to be cremated when she dies this is a conversation people have like how do you want to go yeah i actually pick these questions up wait can i know your answer do you want to be cremated i honestly didn't have an answer uh as someone who's just like oh now i need to think about we were watching a squid game which i don't i need to start it's don't i do should i start yeah okay i'm only like two and a half episodes like everyone's talking about it now i need to be involved yeah right you don't want to feel left out uh i didn't i i grew up very catholic obviously so you get buried and and uh i've become far less traditional

when it comes to that stuff i don't i don't know i don't know honestly i don't give a shit yeah i don't know either i think that i like the idea of like you know like we'll sometimes go to my grandma's like whatever but i'm i don't feel like i'm like okay well they're not there i don't know some people think of it differently but like also like then my other grandma was just cremated and we were i was like we should like this sounds weird but i was like we should she lived in three different places her whole life i was like we should like this sounds weird but I was like we should she lived in three different places her whole life where I was like we should put a little bit in all each and then anyways I

really don't know either but I would maybe cremated I don't know she my grandma got cremated and then I got a bench in Central Park and we can visit that bench but she's not there like I think that's a beautiful there you go I like that I mean honestly we didn't tear apart if people I wanted to but

like i guess that was put her head in does remy's family have family reunions no moving on has remy ever been backstage at a concert yeah because i worked shows that's right yes who was the best show what was the best show well we did like this huge i literally basically put together with like a small team like a show at barclays with like all different artists from like doja cat to like i don't even know there was a million like huge alicia keys all these people and i was like wow this is the coolest thing ever because I was a part of this. Has Remy ever talked herself out of a ticket? Out of a what?

Ticket, like a speeding ticket or a- Oh, no. Everyone says I drive slow. So I don't drive on highways. You've never been pulled over? No, but now I'm scared. I'll see you like you were. I don't drive on highways, which is another reason

I don't think I could live in LA, but I drive around my town and I drive slow. Have you ever been heartbroken? No, no, no. I've never been like, I don't think I loved any of these people, but I think I really have liked people. I like that. I also have gone, this is another thing,

I just really have all gone for people very below me. What do you mean? Horrible people. on this is another thing i just really have all gone for like people very below me what do you mean horrible people like just people that like i used like i'm i still need to grow up before i date because i think i still have that little bit in me that like i like am a like into the guys that like are not nice to me you know people do that yeah no you're definitely not the only one so i'm just like i think all those guys like now looking about, I'm like, whoa, they like treated me like shit. And I was like, so okay with it. And now looking at it, I'm like, wow, I would, I wouldn't, I don't think I need to grow up more.

I think now looking at it, I'm like, okay, so I will never do that again. I think you're doing great. Thank you. Hasn't really talked to one of their parents today or both. It's funny you ask that because you're like you can answer simply and i have a story for everything but i we prefer um i literally was sitting with my managers the other day and i was like well somehow got brought up of talking to your parents and i'm very i was literally gonna post this today on my instagram of but it's hard to

like i don't want to be rude to any i don don't know how to word it. Do you talk to your parents every day? Some people don't have parents. But I'm interested how many people talk to their parents because everyone has been telling me more and more I talk to my parents an abnormal amount. Join the club. Like how. What's abnormal? How many times do you? I call them at least once a day.

But we have like a fam bam group chat that's constantly going no like i like literally separately talk to my mom and dad like all day like all day like okay that's maybe four each five like under three like it's like so when you before you got here you talked to one of them yeah on my way and when you leave oh if i'm if i'm not doing something right after oh okay i'll call my dad i called my mom this morning not for each of your best friends we fight so much like i blocked my mom on instagram and everything two days ago and she's like can you please unblock me now we're fine i think that's because we're so close but like it's it's like i i mean i have so many

like actual friends it's not like it sounds like like I only talk to my parents, but I don't. But it's funny because my sister is 28. She's two years older, and she does the same thing. And I'm like, Nikki, do you think it's a little weird how much we talk to mom and dad? And my dad's like, I did that with my parents, and I don't think it's weird to screw everyone else. Your parents seem happy with it. Yeah, they're happy. If I go MIA for a few hours, they're like, are you okay?

Yeah. Yep. That's bad. It's like I've got, my mom sent me a follow-up text because I hadn't responded in like 45 minutes on like a Saturday night. And I was like, normal 24-year-olds aren't checking in every 45 minutes on a Saturday night. And then I get, and then when people say it, I get in these like moods where I'm like,

we need to talk less. And I'm like, everyone's saying it's weird. And then I'll go like, I went went two days not talking my mom this week because we got in a fight and i literally was like holy shit i need to talk to my mom i think it's fine yeah it's good but i am interested i want to do like a poll or something because i'm i really want to know like the norm and i i mean that's definitely not the norm i'm aware well who cares about what's normal but But also, I think context matters. It's like, what are you talking about?

Yeah. Like I think influence your parents have used. I don't know. You seem you're obviously a successful person. All of this going on in my life right now. It's like I don't it's weird to like bombard my friend or like talk to them about everything. So it's like and a lot of things, you know, like I've just been going to them more, I think, because my dad's business, he's in fashion.

I tell him everything. He's actually interested. Now they're both on TikTok. They didn't get it at first. I mean, this whole conversation started with your, like, it was kind of your dad who was a catalyst for starting all this. Like, it's weird if you, I mean, there's a lot of people talk to their parents and their parents are kind of enabling them or oh they're like a crutch and they hold them back

because their parents are afraid of them leaving the nest and having success in their own life and that's that's clearly not yeah not the case happening so like who cares yeah i don't know like it's work it's working for you yeah has remy bought or received flowers this month no but if anyone wants to send me some feel free all right oh that's a lie melissa rivers you know joan rivers daughter i did her podcast and she sent me very beautiful flowers and it was so sweet there you go does remy crack their knuckles like sometimes but barely yeah i guess i do remy what a joy what a joy it's such a pleasure to have you i know a lot of people have already found you where can the other people who haven't start following you and uh learn and keep getting all this wonderful content you're putting out

there thank you um they can find me at remy bader r-e-m-i-b-a-d-e-r on tiktok and instagram awesome uh it's been so fun talking to you you too i really enjoy it best of luck i know you have a lot of fun new projects coming out yes which will soon be announced i have a lot of exciting things she told me about it. Very exciting stuff. Like not necessarily my demo, but I know enough about it that it's super fucking cool. Yeah. And now you'll follow along my journey now that you know all this info about me.

Fuck yeah. Yeah. Congratulations on all your success and I hope you have so much more and thanks for coming on. Thanks. Bye guys. Bye. thanks for coming on. Thanks. Bye guys. Bye bye.