The Viall Files - E374 Going Deeper - West Elm Caleb, Morgan Cohen, and Paying for Mistakes

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Today we are back with another episode of Going Deeper with The Viall Files. We are joined by influencer and entrepreneur, Morgan B Cohen, as we dive into bringing you the pop culture news, the hottest of goss, and a mediation call. On this episode, we break down the West Elm Caleb drama and bring on Kellie, a girl that used to date him! From there, we talk about online dating and how not setting expectations is a recipe for disaster. We also take our mediation call and answer the question of if money is an apology, and how to fix a situation where you may have lost someone else’s things.  “Most of our dating problems are us trying to avoid rejection.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Relish: Go to http://www.HelloRelish.com/Viall to get 50% off today! Hairstory: Go to http://www.HairStory.com and use promo code VIALL to get 15% off your first purchase! Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @morganbcohen See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're crazy what's going on everybody welcome back to another very exciting episode of the wild files i am your host nick joined by amanda i was thinking about how like ally is still sick and by still sick i mean like we've recorded more episodes uh it's still the same day same day uh that's the look behind the movie magic yeah so it's just uh amanda keeping the fort going. We have an amazing episode. I don't know if you guys have been paying attention to, for those of you who are on TikTok, you might have heard of the West Elm Caleb saga. For those of you who are not, a little backstory, right? a gentleman in New York who is in his 20s, was an active dater on dating apps, and some of his bad behavior got called out by some women.

They basically compared notes, told some stories about their experience, their heartbreak, and dating troubles on TikTok. People were like, wait, that Spider-Man memeMan meme of like, wait, this happened to you? And all of a sudden, apparently this guy was all over the place. And some false promises, some people, is it love bombing? We don't know, but we thought it'd be, we have one of the women he dated, Kelly, who seemed to have dated him the longest period of time.

She joins us. Our guest today, Morgan Cohen. I found her on TikTok. She's a woman who's talked a lot about heartbreak herself. She gives relationship advice. We're at different stages in our life, but someone who, as you will learn from Morgan, a lot of what she talks about comes from her own pain and experience and how troubling that was for her and the work she did on herself and how she saw the world to get her to where she is now and sharing that with the world. Thought she would be one of the perfect guests to talk about this topic.

Because I think our goal, other than this, like hearing about the juicy gossip of West Elm Caleb is like responsible dating nowadays. We talk a lot about that, Nick, you know, but how, what is, what is, what is okay on dating apps, the behavior? Is it, you know, this, this West Elm Caleb, just sending playlists, like what's, where do you draw the line between like having kind of your go-to moves, you know, is how many, how many people is okay to chat with? What is dating? Nick, when you were actively dating, did you have a go-to move or something that you, and like, again, and not demonizing it.

Sure. Because sometimes it's fine to have stuff that you do with multiple people. And I've said this, like, you know, people ask, how do you slide in DMs? And I would say, find a picture on their Instagram and then send them the picture and then comment or ask a question about something in the picture. That's it. I would do that. I've done that with multiple people.

Of course. They're like, yeah, a perfect example of like, it's like a move. And then when you expose that, you'll be like, oh, oh this fucking guy's like he does the same thing you know how many times you've been in a day and be like oh is that your move i bet this happens all the time it's like yeah don't i whenever if i switch from app to texting someone like whenever they text me my response is always hey it's barack obama because it's a litmus test to see like will they do a bit what will like how will they react to it and a lot of people like i don't because it's a litmus test to see like, will they do a fit? How will they react to it? And a lot of people, I don't think it's that funny, but it gets a good reaction every time.

There you go. Maybe I'm a bad person for doing that to multiple people. Well, I think that's the conversation we're about to have with Morgan is, sounds like this Caleb gentleman had some bad behavior, falsely saying he's off the app, setting expectations, the breadcrumb. It seemed like there was accusations of love bombing. I'm not so sure. It does seem like a lot of breadcrumbing. But the problem is in the dating age, and we'll discuss, is that we can't help the people. We want everyone to be responsible with our dating, but with all the access we're getting, we are not setting these boundaries. We want everyone to be responsible with our dating, but with all the access we're getting,

we are not setting these boundaries. We're not enforcing them. We are hoping that I'm not on the apps anymore means that I'm not sleeping with other people. And instead of actually saying, does that mean that? We stop short. And then we build up all these expectations. We'll talk to our girlfriends and guy friends, and then we'll assume they're doing something that we're doing.

And then we find out we don't, they don't. And we feel stupid and let on. And then the conversation is who's to blame there? You know, like certainly it's not okay to lie. That's not okay. But you know, that's when you get into these gray areas of well i said we weren't x y and z and we're going to have a conversation about that in this episode all while talking to kelly and hopefully get some clarity of like how can we avoid because like it's a fascinating thing

this right because we don't really have the infrastructure i feel like for modern dating because the only real rule we have is like if you're exclusive you don't fuck other people like that seems to be like one of the few read upon rules and we don't really have like we haven't necessarily established like yes it's obviously people want to do check-ins and be proactive and be communicative but what that actually looks like is so unclear so it's like very hard i think to hold people accountable because we don't necessarily have this shared language or shared expectations of how to treat people in the age of online dating and a million options yeah it's a wild world out there wild wild world we're here just to try to find some nuggets of wisdom and uh because yeah I mean this clearly this be this became this phenomenon it resonated yeah it resonated with a lot of women.

People were like, who's the West Elm Caleb in DC, Seattle, Chicago? Because clearly this type of behavior is going on with a lot of men. I don't think it's exclusive to men. I think there's a different version of this when it comes to...

Fuckboys can be women. No, I'm like, am I West Elm Caleb? Yeah. No, it's not. fuckboys can be women. No, I'm, am I myself, Caleb? No, it's not. And that's the thing, you know, but we, it's not like,

yeah, this guy, this guy has become a metaphor. He represents a type of behavior and certainly a lot of men are guilty of it. But I think if we're being honest, men and women are, because we're, we like the options we're getting, you know, and we'll talk, you know, we, it's, well, we get into it.

Yeah. And I think what you're saying relates to the mediation call we have on this episode where it's like, sometimes you just need someone to blame. That's not yourself. Yep. And stay tuned. Nice, nice plug there, Amanda. Week two of mediation. Some money problems. Ever paid off your partner?

Yeah, money problems from two people who are doing fine. Not money problems in a way. They're not struggling financially, but there's a fight about money. There's a hush payment. There's a hush payment. Phenomenal.

Be sure to check that out. Just keep listening, really. Anything else? Sending your questions to asknickatcastmedia.com, cast with a K. Submit your questions for Ask Nick on Mondays, your mediation questions, your friend with your partner.

Or friend. Or friends. Co-worker. Co-workers. We need both of you. For the ones that's relationship-driven, ladies, we appreciate you getting your guys to come on

because we know some of them might be more reluctant but I'll tell you what if you've listened to our mediation it's we're we really mediate

we don't pick sides in fact in some of these cases it's been more like I feel like the guys have been like fuck thank God I called I think I think we tend to leave people better than we found them.

Yeah, I don't know. Slightly. So, well, here's our episode. Morgan, thanks for coming. No problem. I'm excited. As I told my audience, I found you on TikTok. So what do you think about my TikTok?

It's great. Really? Yeah. Because I have a lot of men that hate my TikTok. Why do you, because you talk a lot about relationships and dating. You refer to yourself as the big sister. Yeah. And that's mostly because I shit on a lot of men.

But it's not, here's the thing. I've had a lot of experience with horrible guys. And I think that's why I take it out on TikTok. It's like my diary. Perfect guest for this episode. Amazing. And what are these horror stories and why? We don't need every horror story. I'm not going to give you every horror story. Yeah. I'm sure there's like the one that really got you and then you must've had some sort of like aha moment and then you use that to create

this platform. Okay. Right? Yeah. Okay okay so basically how my platform even got big is i did i went through this awful breakup with this guy who i'm not gonna talk ill of because i do see him around still um and it was just horrible and it was so hard for me to like cope with it like i missed him so much and i didn't know how to react and he kept like gaslighting me and coming back and then leaving and coming back and leave it's it's like a typical thing it was a roller coaster of emotions that I really couldn't mentally deal with and I just started using TikTok as my diary and I started doing an everyday growth series where I kind of just watched my own progress and it really made me it made me feel so much better to watch myself

grow and like and like I feel like so many girls related to it because for some reason a lot of girls are going through breakups at the same time it was the end of summer I'm I mean it makes sense but anyways I would watch my growth the entire time and there would be days where there were horrible days like I wanted to die like I couldn't up. I didn't want to brush my teeth in the morning. I didn't want to take a shower. I just wanted to sit there and just mope in my own sorrows. And then I was like, I have a job. And at the time I wasn't doing social media. I was just, I actually had a normal job. Like I worked with influencers at Triller. And so I actually had to get up and do things. And I was so miserable, like to a point where I couldn't be happy at work. And I would start filming myself just

throughout the day, just, you know, when I'm good and when I'm bad and when I'm good and when I'm bad. And it started being a very cinematic thing where people just started relating to it. And it made people feel like they weren't alone. And in a way, it made me feel like I wasn't alone because you got so much support in your comments. And so the platform just started growing and growing and growing because people wanted to see how long is it going to take her to move on. But it came to a point where I would hear so many people talking the amount of shit a person could talk. And then my ex and his friends talking about like, how crazy is this girl for doing things like this? Like, why is she exposing this? But after he would talk shit about me, he'd call me and be like, I really miss you. Like, I'm so sorry that you feel this way.

Was he talking shit online as well too? No. Or just his friends? No, but I would never even mention his name online. Everyone that knew- He was just a him, the ex. He was just a him, the ex. And everyone that knew about it, they knew about it. And they knew what I was going through. And it came to a point where I got so big that the people that were talking so much shit actually started defending me.

And making it so they understood where I was coming from. Because they started relating to it. And I'm just like, I'm not friends with majority of the people anymore. Because I feel like you talked so much shit about me and made me feel worse about my situation. You weren't even there for me at all. But when I started getting bigger on social media, you're like, all right, cool. Like, you know what? I get her.

I understand her. Like, no, you don't understand me. You see a following. You see that people actually like relate to me and they want to talk to me now. And now you want to talk to me. Relationships are hard. They need the maintenance. What if there was like an app that you could use, play, entertain yourselves with your partner that would also simultaneously like help you guys, you know, get more intimate and learn things about each other. Well,

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What was the thing about your breakup that you found your audience related to you the most about? I think the thing, like, what happened

during the breakup or how I was just feeling. Yeah, yeah. What happened? Like, the... Well, I got cheated on. Okay.

Which is such a common thing now. Hey. Like, I mean, have you ever cheated on someone? No. Okay, that's good. But I I got cheated on. Okay. Which is such a common thing now. Like, I mean, have you ever cheated on someone? No. Okay, that's good. But I've been cheated on. Oh, I'm sorry. It was the best time of my life.

Oh, amazing. Well, not in the moment. No? It was a pivotal time in my life. All right. For me, and I've said it, it's how I met my ego really? it was like I had this kind of like

did she cheat on you when you were dating or was it more like you guys were seeing each other we were engaged oh my god that's worse my sister got cheated on when she was engaged too it's horrible and people think that girls aren't as bad as guys but girls are just as bad as guys.

People are, and we'll talk about this in this episode. I think you're like the perfect guest for this. Yeah, we've become sloppier daters. We've been given this incredible access with technology, with social media and the DMs and this what feels like an infinite amount of dating apps, an infinite amount of access to people. And like we got it too fast.

And that's not an excuse for this bad behavior we're seeing with this West Elm Caleb and other people. But it's not a lot of men doing a lot of shitty things and being very sloppy. But we as people, men, women, gay, straight, we've become sloppier because- We have so much access and we're always we're all in our own feelings and it's yeah and it's easy to think why me what did I do wrong how could this happen to me and you know when I got cheated it was a lot of like how could this happen to me and then I just started like accepting that it can happen to anyone yeah I think also dating apps and the social media, it gives people access to...

We live in LA, so we talk about what it's like to live in LA or date in LA. But dating in New York or whatever, people are watching this unfold and dating in these smaller towns, I think is already starting to turn into what it used to be like to date in LA. You have this kind of drama within communities this unfold and dating in these smaller towns, I think is already starting to turn into like what it would, what it used to be like to date in LA.

Yeah. You know, you have this kind of drama within communities in these small cities and all this access and it's all it is, is drama, right? Yeah. Like it's, you know, it's dramatic dating and that's how these, what these dating apps have created. Amanda, if you could, for our audience, before our caller called in,

and she just entered the room, I see on Zoom. Bring our audience up. For those of the people who aren't familiar with the West Elm Caleb drama, give us a quick elevator speech on what we're dealing with and what we're going to talk about.

So if you're like, who is West Elm Caleb? The short of it is that someone posted a TikTok talking about a negative dating experience they'd had with the Caleb. Now, this was not West Elm Caleb, but in the comments, people are like, West Elm Caleb, West Elm Caleb, because this is a man who on the New York dating scene, dating apps, I think Hinge is his medium of choice, has had a lot of interactions with women that have left them feeling like trash. And so it's sparked a national conversation about Caleb's actions throughout TikTok. More and more people are kind of coming forward. For example, one woman who was involved with him for quite

some time realized that the night that she'd gone on a date with him, like another girl had woken up in his bed. Like it was just like- That's Kelly who we're going to be speaking with momentarily. Okay. So I'll leave that. We'll be getting her story. Yeah. So it's basically like everything from like he was, what was he doing is he was sort of, some people are calling it love bombing. He was sending a lot of really affectionate, high key messages saying stuff like, I'm going to delete this app sometimes before they'd met,

sometimes after only one or two dates. He was also sending the same playlist to every girl just with a different title, which I think is like, wow. And that's the thing I think we want to talk about is, and you asked me, Morgan, when I said it, what is responsible online dating? Because at the end of the day that's what this like discussion is about is this west elm caleb guy seems to have not been responsible reckless all right let's bring it let's bring in kelly i know she's been waiting thank you for joining us um all right let's get let's get in this is mor the way. She is my guest today, and she's going to help me ask some questions.

Amanda, my assistant, gave me a breakdown of the whole West Helm Caleb saga. But from your perspective, I don't know if you started it, but you actually dated this person. We'll just refer to him as West Helm Caleb. We don't want

to give any of his personal information out. We know that that's been kind of anti-doxing on the show, anti-doxing on the show. But you hung out with this person and walk us through what that relationship was and why did you feel wronged? And I want to hear from you is like, why do you feel like this became such a TikTok phenomenon and kind of a cultural reaction from the women in New York or women all over the country? Yeah. So I matched with this man on Hinge and we talked for a week and then we decided to go on a date. So we went on a date. We did like three back to back dates, like Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

So it was very intense, very fast. And then the next six weeks we were dating each other. So we were going on dates, like getting dinner together, going to museums. He would text me like every day throughout the day. We would end the nights that we didn't see each other on FaceTime. So it was like a, not an official relationship, but we were definitely seeing each other. I was told that his parents knew about me. I was told that he was deleting his dating apps. So I was, I was excited. Like this was the first

time I had a crush on a man in New York city in a very long time. So I was like, Ooh, okay. on a man in New York City in a very long time. So I was like, Oh, okay. Um, but that shifted. Um, I was ghosted for like 12 hours last weekend. Um, and I was confused because we had just spent the day together. Things were great. And I hadn't heard from him. And when I addressed that, he just said he needed some time. He had to think about some things and then i logged on to tiktok and i saw somebody talking about weston caleb and at that moment i sent him a tiktok and i was like did you immediately make a connection because i'm assuming you you knew his name and you knew where he worked yes so i was like how many caleb's can work in his office place? I'm not sure. It also like his height.

But he hadn't mentioned any. Highly discussed. This is a tall gentleman. I feel like that was a big part of it for some reason. Yeah, I am. I'm a tall queen. I'm five foot 10. So I meet very little men who are taller than me. So that too, I was like, like okay tall man works at the same place same name

this is a little too coincidental um so then I sent him that and he replied saying that he didn't think it was him like this woman had a large following so I was like okay you confronted him and he's like I don't think it's me. Yes. Did you believe him though? No. At that point, I was like, okay. I don't know why I find it so comical that he was like, I don't think it's me. I'm not positive it's actually me. Either it's like, yeah, it's definitely not me.

Yeah, he's like, there's another Caleb in accounting. Six, five. I mean, it's a large company. Who the fuck? It could be anyone, you know? Also, wait, I have a question. I don't think it's me. Maybe.

Did he lose his job? Did he? I don't know. I hope he didn't. He was good at his job. Really good at his job. So, yeah. What was his job?

Going to Cajuns or something? No, he designed furniture. He designed furniture? So, that's the thing. I think that's part of the phenomenon. Let me know what you think, Kelly. But here's this 6'4", and we're not showing his picture,

but his picture is all over the internet. He has this mustache. People have been referring to him as this artsy guy. Amanda and I were talking about it. He's an attractive guy. I think he's obtainably hot. Okay. And I feel like there's this,

it's like he's a character out of a Sex and the City episode. For sure. You know, where he's this tall, he designs furniture. He's Aiden, except not, he's the shittier version of Aiden. Sure, right? Yeah. And I think that's why it's like he seems like the dream, like, yeah, he could have been Aiden.

Yeah. Maybe that's perfectly said. Yeah. Anyway, is that, because there seems to be a specific fascination with this guy. Yeah. Like, his resume is like, oh, the, you know, a 6'4 furniture designing hipster. He's really good on paper. Yeah.

Exactly. And my friends even, made jokes they were like this is your aid and then sex in the city and i was like you're right like what could go wrong here um a lot but um everything um all right so back to when he you know he didn't return your text or whatever he fell off the grid for for 12 hours and then you confronted him and then where did we go from there i saw another um woman's tiktoks where she was describing dates that they had gone on um at the same time i was dating him so this was within like 12 hours so she's also talking about west on caleb you're not sure if it's the same guy. He doesn't think it's him.

And then you reached out to Kate. Oh, I'm sorry. You reached out. I know it's her name's Kate. Yeah. I reached out to Kate because they had like posted a picture of the back of him. And I was like, oh, I know that that back, back of his head looks really familiar.

So I had messaged her and I was explaining to her like, hey, I don't know how serious you two are. I just want to let you know that I was dating this man recently and I just been ghosted out of the blue. And I thought we were pretty serious, like not official, but very serious. And I just want to make sure you're aware of this so you don't get hurt. And at first I was told like he sort of denied dating me for a while, but then he came around and was like, Oh yeah, actually I did just see her Saturday. So yeah. And then he sent me an apology sort of,

but it was very much like copy and pasted towards some other people. So I didn't take it too seriously. And I just, I haven't talked to him since. And our goal here is like, just so you know, Kelly, we're, we're using this story as a way to like discuss, like,

how do we like, how do we all do better? Like online dating, everyone's sloppy to a certain extent. We're, you know, we may not be West Caleb, but you know,

with so much access to people uh and dating and people aren't defining relationships and hookup culture feelings are getting hurt across the aisles so to speak and so i guess when you say like i think a common thing that's very relatable and what a lot of people seem to relate to you is this kind of in-between period. Like you said, yeah, we were dating. He talked about parents. He told me he was getting off the app. Did you ever try to define the relationship with this guy? Or it's almost sounds like you were just like, oh, he's saying all these things. So why didn't you try to define it if you didn't? To say, hey, I like you.

I'm excited about you. Let's put a label on this. We've been hanging out for a month now and I'm only hanging out with you. What stopped you from just getting that security that I'm assuming anyone in your position would want? Also, were you talking to other people too? No.

You stopped talking fully to other people too like during it you stopped talking fully to other people yeah oh goodness and you base it off the premise of like I'm not on hinge anymore and my mom knows about you yeah so we had like a discussion prior where um he had said he's like I'm a little confused on your intentions I don't really know what they are and I had blatantly said like you're the only person I'm dating right now. So I would like to see where this goes. I'm not saying I want to be completely exclusive with you yet, but you are the only person I'm dating. Let me ask you a question. Let me just stop you right there. It's a serious question. And I'm not, what made you want to immediately disqualify what you actually wanted by, you know, Hey, I like where

this is going. I'm not saying blah, blah. And everyone fucking says that these days, but why, like, why do you think that is? Why are we, why, when he asked you what you wanted, did you first say what you wanted? And then without, without even like putting a period in there, you try to like downplay what you actually said you wanted by being like, I'm not saying I want to. Because you did. Is it safe to say that in that moment, if he would have said, you want to be my girlfriend? You would have said yes at some point, right? At some point. Back then. Not knowing what you know now, but when you stopped dating other people, you were into them. You thought this guy was Aiden from sex in the city. Yeah. I, I take a very controversial approach in dating where I don't like to date multiple people at once. Um, cause it's emotionally and like physically exhausting for me.

Um, but in that moment he, I had a crush on him and I was interested in him, but I don't think I knew enough about him to be like, you're my boyfriend. I'm ready to commit to you. I enjoy spending time with you and I don't want to see other people right now, but I don't know if I want this to be. Why are people making that distinction? Were you scared of being rejected? Were you scared of him saying, I actually don't want to be exclusive? If you said, I want to be exclusive, were you scared of being rejected like were you scared of him saying I actually don't want to be exclusive if you said I want to be exclusive were you scared of that at all like did you were you scared it's gonna scare him away or make him be like oh actually this

isn't gonna work you know I don't think so yeah I've been rejected before I've been in like situationships with people where we both aren't like exclusively dating each other and we're dating separately, but I don't think I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid of getting into a relationship that I later would regret in a way or like be like, okay, this isn't for me. I wish I would have waited a while. Yeah. And it's interesting. And I think it's very relatable, but also like, I'm just trying to understand why we do that. And I've talked a little bit about this on the show before, is that very gray area when it comes to dating. Because here you are, Kelly, you're saying, I liked this guy.

We were spending all this time together. We're saying good morning and good night via Facebook. You're giving him all your energy. I mean, you sounded like you were being a really great girlfriend in an early stages of relationship. And it's like we want to wait to like say, oh, you'd be my boyfriend and girlfriend. We're treating defining a relationship like getting engaged these days.

I mean, what do you think a relationship is though? A relationship at the end of it, if you go into a relationship thinking we're going to break up, that relationship is never going to break up, that relationship is never going to last. And I'm sorry. It's just, it's just true. You're thinking about it as an experience other than you're actually trying to spend your life with someone and start your life with someone and want to have kids or want to get married. Like that's what dating is. Dating is supposed to be that. That's what it was like in the olden days when-

I know. You know what I mean? We're trying to have our olden day. We're trying to have the olden days with apps and hookup culture. It's disgusting. But then that's how, you know what I'm saying? Because like, imagine the, like, you were like, I don't want him to be my boyfriend, but I do want to give him,

it sounded like you were giving him all your energy outside of whatever you do during your day and your job and your friends. But all your romantic energy was put into this guy. And yet you were like, I don't want to call him my boyfriend yet. And you were giving this person this out to say, no matter what he did, well, you're not my girlfriend. I do. Okay.

So I agree with you. But also I think there's different stages of commitment. You know, like that first stage, like, hey, are we exclusive? Are we going to be okay? Then the next stage, like now we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Next stage, like I'm going to introduce you to my parents. Yeah, but you were treating him as if he was your boyfriend without the title. You were giving him everything without the title.

Yeah. In Kelly's defense, she was also getting that back from him. Yes, exactly. You guys were basically boyfriend and girlfriend without a title. Kelly, we're not coming at you. No, no, no. This is everyone is doing this.

And the point is like, like this is also not letting Wes on Caleb off the hook. Yeah, he sucks. But we're trying to like, how do we avoid like these situations that people are getting themselves in of investing so much? And why aren't we asking, whether you want to call it boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't give a shit about the label.

But setting more upfront expectations around like, all right, listen, I don't care what you call it, but I just need to know, you're not sleeping with anyone else. You're getting as much in return as you are giving. And I feel like a lot of people, like a lot, and man, it depends. It depends on whoever has the power, whoever feels like they have less power, whoever's like hoping that person likes them as they just want some answers, whether it's just like, oh, I'm off the apps. Oh, you're off the apps? Great. That's all I need to know.

And then like, they just, I'll just assume everything else is the way I want it. And these situations happen where, you know, while it's shitty, this guy is going,

he was lying to you, you know, without question. And that's, regardless of the title, you're investing in someone who's lying to you, you know, without question. And that's, regardless of the title, you're investing in someone who's lying to you and that makes them shitty. But how do we avoid finding out the truth? How do we find out the truth faster rather than finding out because like a

TikTok phenomenon, if this didn't happen, would you have ever found out? No. You'd still be hanging out with this guy. No, I'd be ghosted. So it'd it'd be okay well i actually have a question how uh how did you feel about not making it exclusive but what if he was sleeping with other people and didn't use a condom maybe got a girl pregnant maybe gave you an std how does that make you feel because usually when you're saying you're you're not exclusive you kind of have to still

make boundaries for your own safety yeah and that's something else i've thought about too um i was completely unaware of what other activities he was doing with other people yeah um so did he ever say he wasn't sleeping with other people and they lie about it? Or did you hope he wasn't because he said he was off the apps? I had hoped he wasn't. I didn't explicitly outright ask, which was an issue. We're all learning. We're all learning.

Yeah. Yeah. But based on his attitude and how I was quite literally talking to him every day, I had expected, I don't know where he would get the time. So yeah. Well,

I'm sorry. That's okay. You know, we live and we learn. It makes me so sad. Did he send you a playlist too? He did. And I called him out because I saw he had multiple.

I, I, what the, what is on these playlists? Is it love songs? Like, what is it? Um,

a lot of like LCD signs. Apparently it was like the Smiths or like a real kind of emo kind of. Yeah, I didn't know any of the songs. I don't think, I think the playlist is something like to snark about and make fun of.

I think it's so funny. It's like giving someone a mixtape back in the days. Exactly. But I don't think it's actually that bad. If the whole thing was like, this guy's going around sending women playlists, it's like, whatever. It's just funny.

But to me, it sounds like his big crimes are the lying about being off the apps because he knew... It sounds like he was smart enough to know how women he was dating were taking that it was his way of giving a false sense of security to these women he was dating without having to say i'm not sleeping with anyone else i'm not i'm i'm your boyfriend or whatever and so like the meeting of the parents it's like oh yeah my mom wait did he meet your parents no no he said like my mom knows about you these kind of vague i hate when guys say

that they always say that if you yeah yeah and just like these little things but i'm not really saying anything and when push comes to shove he can still say what are you talking about like yeah we're not dating i wasn't lying technically i wasn't yeah i'm not you're not my girlfriend i am i don't know you but i met her at the grocery store i don't fucking know like whatever yeah well kelly thanks for for jumping on we appreciate any final thoughts you want to leave our audience with yeah i think in the grand scheme of things like dating multiple people with good communication is completely normal. But I think dating multiple people in like the end goal to be exclusive or dating them as if you're exclusive is very, very interesting. So I just find it. is very, very interesting.

So I just find it... Can I ask you one question? What is something you've learned from this experience that if anything, that you plan on changing about your behavior and how you date to help you avoid this in the future? Yeah. Well, first I'm going to avoid some dating apps for a while. The second is I'm going to address red flags right away as soon as i see them um

and not attempt to make them green flags so do you remember some red flags that he showed you that you look back and thought i should have looked into that yeah like i i had to change plans and um he became upset and sort of like turned it around and I became sort of the bad guy so I was made to feel bad I was ignored for several hours and was told that he was like emotionally hurt because of this um when the plans were not like concrete um so I was immediately like it wasn't a conversation it was straight the turnaround back onto myself um and that I was like oh maybe he's just a little sad and so you manipulated you into thinking that you're a bad guy yeah that happens a lot yeah yeah so I'm gonna be as soon as that I'm gonna I'm gonna have fewer um red flag allowances um

before I end things so that's my goal all right good for you all right well we appreciate you sharing your story with us it's been a fascinating internet journey yes yeah it has and good luck finding love yeah good luck yeah thanks you'll find it don't worry bye bye Kelly bye y'all I didn't want to tell Kelly because she didn't ask for my advice but yeah I hope in the future she also like

won't hope that someone's not doing she I hope she won't get her answers like we always talk about like words over actions which true but I think sometimes

we they'll give us a real small I guess a breadcrumb or whatever a small action and then we will paint this

big canvas of what that means about everything else we hope they are doing like that part of well I just I just assumed he wouldn't be hooking up

with other people because I didn't think I had time and I feel like modern dating a lot of times is like having a period of time of like kind of keeping the chase to some degree even though it's like you're facetiming you're saying good night you're obviously like spending the most time with each other but it's like I think it's it seems like the only path forward is just like keeping the chase going long enough that like the hope is that someone will like develop genuine feelings for you. I think especially like from a female perspective, it sometimes feels like,

like, oh, you have to keep them like intrigued and kind of like keep the competitive. Yeah, but they don't love you. They love the thought of you because they can obtain you. And then when they do have you and you give them everything, it's like, oh,

nope. Actually, just stay over there. I'm not actually into this anymore. And it happens a lot. It's happened to me millions of times. And it hurts. And it sucks. Do you plan on changing your approach? I've changed my approach. I've already changed it. I stay in...

Okay, this is what I do. So Like, I stay in... Okay, this is what I do. So basically, I'll be talking to a guy. I'll scope out the red flags and see how they talk about their ex, how they talk to their mom. Like, I'll watch those things because how a man talks about their ex

is how they're going to talk about you if you guys ever end. And so I'll watch those things. And then seeing how he reacts to if I talk about guys and seeing how that makes him feel. And then that's how I kind of know like how he feels about me if he gets really upset about it or he like keeps bringing it up in like tiny conversations.

Like I see that and I see if that's affecting him, then maybe he does really care about me and he doesn't want me talking to other people and then we'll have the conversation more like not a massive conversation but it's like what are we doing here like do you want to be exclusive like we don't have to make it boyfriend and girlfriend but I would like to know that you're not hooking up with anyone else and you actually see a future with this because I don't want to waste my time and I don't want you to waste yours. And that's kind of how I've been approaching it now other than saying, you know what? I want to be with you. Let's be together because it scares people.

What do you think? I think it all makes a lot of sense. Yeah. I think both the way you did it is effective, but I empathize with how that feels. Yeah. Right. So I think in the perfect world, you combine both because like, listen, it's, it's dating it's relationships. There's no like clear playbook of how to go about it.

Right. But I do think we get ourselves in trouble by avoiding asking direct questions or just simply stating what we want at the risk of not hearing it. But it sounds to me like you're more willing to do a little more vetting and thoughtful questions and pay attention to what they're saying a little bit more deliberately so that when you are, you're like, you feel a little bit less vulnerable putting it out there. I just feel like sometimes we, in this kind of hookup culture situationship world we're in, it's just very easy. We're having sex and then we're getting to know each other.

And maybe it's a guy thing but like men are very reluctant to give that up that what sex sex without responsibility okay

and or expectations relationships are expectations what do you expect of me what do I expect of you like sacrifice you know I expect

you know you don't make these rules but like and I think when we are dating and we start hooking up and we all have the best intentions and then it's like hey it's everyone wants to be chill cool yet the cool girl cool chicks want to be I want to be cool I don't want them to think I'm crazy you know a lot of that comes from the pressure of men, but either way, it's a pressure. Women are feeling of not wanting to feel crazy because they've been told

they're crazy by other guys. Yeah. And so simultaneously like, oh, we're, we're having sex. And then you've been having this like sex. And I honestly,

I haven't had to do much for it. And all of a sudden someone's here with like knocking on your door with like, expect like a, it's like like here's the bill here's come do it's weird though because like why why do you guys want to chase so hard for things that they're gonna get in the end like i just don't get it like if you really like a girl and a girl really likes you and having sex with her is easy that that should be normal but it's

not normal it's just like oh this is boring now and like i know the chase is like i don't think you should ever stop trying in a relationship i think that's what keeps it like interesting but i think it's i think it's a little more complicated yeah speaking of never stop trying in a relationship we do have our mediation callers ready okay so we'll jump into that one more final thought though I just think I think it's I think it's more complicated because we're also judging people for having exes mm-hmm we're afraid of getting it wrong yeah men and women so we're both like I don't know I don't know if we should call this boyfriend

and girlfriend yet I don't think it's just as simple as always like the guy likes to chase and the women like to be chased and all that. But we are, I think it comes back to all this access we have in terms of options of dating and we have 10 matches

on four different apps and three conversations and two of them seem nice. And it's just like, well, who should I pick? But also, how do you know if someone's actually attractive online you're basing it fully based off their attract or like how i'm a huge advocate of that one thing the pandemic gave us it's normalizing zoom dates

what i would never i would never hear me out hear me out morgan and now we know we got to get you know who we have a zoom date with our mediation oh Oh, sorry. It's free. You can just qualify them. 10 minutes. How do they sound like? What do they talk like? What are their inflections? What if they walk weird? Or what if they have bad breath?

Or what if they smell gross? Fine. You can't do that. I have so many things. More information you can find out, but you can get a lot more information than they're like, I like to travel and make people laugh.

And their four best pictures, their friend picked of them that are maybe from five months ago. But what if they smell bad? Well, that you're gonna have to meet them in person. It's an ick. Should we get till, of course it's an ick. So gross.

All right, let's get you ready for mediation. Yeah. I just always want to say thanks. Not that we give guys credit they don't really deserve. But Joe, are you the person who listened to this podcast? No disrespect, but I'm absolutely not the person. No, I figured. Thanks for being a trooper is my point.

What's up, Nicole and Joe? I appreciate you guys calling in. Who wants to start with telling the story? The fight. I can start it off here all right what's the fight about okay so uh we took our first trip together just after new year's uh we went skiing to the mountains about 10 hours away from where we live with a few other couples um had a great trip came home and I was about to start doing my laundry and I was looking around for my bag of dirty clothes and it was nowhere to be found so I my heart sank um I ran downstairs

asked Joe if he knew where the bag had been placed or where it was, if it was still in the truck. He immediately was like, what bag? And I was like, the bag that I gave you this morning when we were loading the vehicle. Like I gave you my luggage and I gave you my laundry bag and told you to put them anywhere in the vehicle. I didn't need to access them during the 10 hour journey back home. And he did not know what I was talking about. So I got a little bit upset, maybe a little bit more than a little bit upset. I was fuming. We went out to the vehicle to check if it was maybe still in the bed of the truck or the box of the truck it was not in there nowhere to be found we messaged the rest of the group um and nobody had the bag so this is this dirty laundry in the bag this is just like every single

outfit bathing suit towel everything i don't add it up for the clothes you like yeah like a full okay well disclaimer i used a garbage bag to put all of the clothes into i mean you're not gonna get a white garbage any criticism from a guy who moved by throwing all his clothes into a garbage bag i also do that on trips too so no judgment on this well then what happened what's the fight about how did joe react what are you mad about basically he had no clue what i was talking about um i was like how do you not know what i'm talking about we basically just went back and forth on each other i was not very nice to him um said a few things that i probably uh what did she say afterwards joe what did she say it was uh i

kind of blanked after a bit but it was a bit of a royal rumble showdown but the key fact is that we did figure out after about 10 minutes of yelling at each other, the garbage bag most likely went into the garbage and never into the truck. Someone thought it was a bed, a bag of cans or whatever. So around $500 where the clothes ended up in the garbage. Yeah. But is that, well, I didn't think it was my fault. And then Nicole didn't think it was my fault and then Nicole didn't think it was her fault and then that was

kind of where the fight really really got going and then it's the clothes have yet to be they've never been found they are still the clothes have never been found who threw it out we don't know

housekeeping what happened is I handed him both of the bags and he took them outside to the vehicle um and i'm not sure if when we were like loading other stuff if it got taken out and set like on the snow it also could have blended into the snow because there was like a few feet of snow on the ground and it was a white garbage bag so it could have just been like left in the driveway it definitely wasn't in the house that we were staying in we messaged the landlords and everything and couldn't track the bag down basically so so when you guys were fighting or i don't know if this is still a thing a question for both you like what about this situation or this fight upset you the most joe

and same question for you nicole um i was mainly upset because he kept denying that he had even like touched the bag like he just didn't know what i was talking about apparently so i was that just kept getting me more and more upset because Because I was like, how do you not know? Like, I gave you the bag to take outside. Did you think he was, like, pretending he didn't know? Or were you just mad in general that he wasn't giving you the answer you wanted? At first, I was mad. I thought he was pretending. Like, I thought he was just like, oh, shit, I'm in trouble kind of thing.

And that was his story. And he was sticking to it. But then after we like settled down a bit and talked it out without yelling um then i believed him i i hope okay i have a question the truth morgan's got a question i got a question and please don't take this the wrong way or get upset about this but when you say this story out loud do you realize it's really not that big of a deal like oh 100 oh okay i just want i just want to know honestly because like when i say stories

out loud that i'm upset about i just realize like oh this actually isn't well i think that's what i think is the most fun about this mediation thing we're doing is there's always some sort of like what else is going on or why did you guys start screaming at each other i don't know if you listened last week nicole to like taco night um yeah but yeah it was like a whole other thing joe i'm curious from your end like what what were you thinking this whole thing and how are you feeling about this now and are like do you still have frustrations about that situation and how it was handled like where are you at no no not at all we're great now um like we can look back and laugh about it now i think i was more so upset because like uh you said before like it wasn't a big deal worst case scenario we buy some new clothes

which i ended up paying for the cost of whatever the clothes were in the bag but you got the bill so just damn i got the bill yeah i bought i she didn't make me pay like i volunteered to replace the clothes oh that's nice of you but so that was more so what i was upset about and i think also like the whole denying like i did deny it because i genuinely didn't remember what happened with it. But also, this was like four days on a trip. I was really sore from snowboarding and a couple of drinks, a little foggy. We all had COVID. So my brain was about 2 out of 10 function the morning that it did happen. Well, that probably is why you guys are so frustrated.

I would be frustrated, too, if I feel sick. I'm groggy. I'm frustrated. Like, I would be frustrated too if I feel sick, I'm groggy, I'm sore. I would feel that way too. You lose so much of your temper when you feel like shit. Like, it's just so much easier to break down. Yeah, and I just got home from a nine-hour drive. You said you hope. I'm not getting that you totally believe Joe's story.

Or does it not matter now? It doesn't really matter now. I guess my question with all of this to you is, am I wrong for accepting the money that he sent me? Should I send it back? Should we just go 50, 50? Well, it just depends on why Joe gave you the money. Because like the way you're telling the story, go ahead.

It was definitely to pay for the clothes. I won't lie. A small part of it was just like, if you send the money, maybe you'll not get yelled at anymore. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. If it was to shut you, exactly my point, Joe, if it was to shut you up, then that money, you're going to pay the price down the line, Nicole, somehow. I don't know how, and it won't even be intentional, it's nothing's free in this world yeah also for Joe like you do know that here's the thing if you pay for everything for her just

to get her to like shut up and not yell at you anymore so is this going to be like a gift giving thing every time you guys get in a fight then you're going to take her shopping you're going to buy her flowers just things like that are you going gonna do that because I feel like that's gonna be an expected thing now since you did it the first time I think that that was the only time we're normally like very good with splitting like whether we go for a meal or do this or whatever we're normally pretty good in that specific situation it was more just like worst case scenario I can pay for the clothes and we can replace the clothes and then we're back to normal we're not missing anything like yeah it sucks but clothes can be replaced pretty easy

yeah yes like there was a small percentage of it majority was like yes i genuinely want to pay it out replace the clothes but also like here's some money yeah stop yelling at me nicole question for you you know how like and I've been there like anytime bad things happen losing clothes you know whatever and we don't know who to blame

we often don't like to blame ourselves first it's kind of like who's in my like peripheral who is here that i can yell at because i definitely this can't be my fault because then that would really suck if i have no one to blame but myself yeah uh and my question to you is like now that it's over like

it wasn't a who put in a trash bag like object if i'm an insurance company and you guys are both like coming here to me to decide like who should and you're not in a relationship and you're just like who should pay for this like what do you think is like who do you think do you even think it's possible to figure out whose fault it was or or do you feel like maybe it's still like Joe put it in the bag or you, did you ask him to grab it and he didn't hear you like that classic story of like, I fucking told you, you weren't listening, you know, fight that couples often have.

Yeah. I think it's like at this point now it's a few weeks later, like we both can laugh about it. I don't think it's as much about like who to blame. can laugh about it. I don't think it's as much about like who to blame. Um, I just think like in the future, I guess, yeah, I'll have to like take control of my own luggage and like load my own things. Um, the only problem, the only problem, Nicole, and I'm sorry for cutting you off is that you're right. It's not on like who you blame, but we all agreed that, yeah, Joe wanted to like do something nice for you and get you these clothes. But part of it was either A, he felt somewhat responsible and B, just didn't want to be blamed at all. So he decided it was

just, he, Joe sounds like he did the math, quick math in his head. Honestly, this $500 cost me a lot less than having to deal with whatever it is I'm going to deal with if she doesn't have her clothes. Whether it was mental health, some people pay $500 for therapy. Joe's like, I'm going to get her clothes and that's going to be my mental health you know savior and so there is like i think you're dismissing saying well i'm not really we're not blaming

anyone because there's still like some blame assigned if that is in fact why the thing was being paid you know like at the end of the day you you know, you could just have to like, if Joe's like, listen, that'd be silly. The point is like money can be kind of like a tricky thing. And I just think, I don't think Joe's needs to give his money back. If it doesn't sound like Joe needs the money, he's doing fine. But I do think it's important you guys, whether it's on this call or whatever, or later on, just the fact that you guys be like, listen, yeah, I wanted to, I want you to be quiet but like i can afford it whatever and i'm happy you're happy but like really you guys really have to i feel like have to acknowledge that as so that down the road like there's not this level of like

you bought like i could just totally picture this like you guys fight about something down the road because every couple's fights and at some point it's going to be brought up be like yeah but i brought i bought your clothes back and she's like you bought it because you fucking lost it or something i can just fucking see it you know joe's laughing he knows what i'm talking about so you think that you should keep the money though no i i just think they should really talk about what happened because it sounds like Joe was like, here's some money. Please stop yelling at me. And Nicole was just like, you know what? Thanks.

And I was really mad. And I don't know if it's my fault or your fault, but at least I get to go shopping. And I think it ended there. And I think more dialogue. And I think we're having it. But really just, I think Joe has to actively, I chose to give you this money

because I want you to have it and I can never bring it up again. And you can never like, in any way throw this in his face, Nicole, because like it was dealt with. And I think if anything else, like it's these little fucking things

that aren't really, because I don't think you, you guys didn't really resolve it. You bought her off. You bought her off. Yeah. You paid her off. You fully bought her off. Hush payment.

You know? And like hush money, like it always comes up later. And I just think you guys need to acknowledge what happened and let's just say, hey, I gave you this money. And yeah, maybe to shut you up now, but I don't want it back. And yeah, Nicole, you could probably come and bang him back, but like, you're choosing to just like,

this is how we handle this and it can no longer be brought up because like otherwise at 100% well is what I think. I don't know. Yeah. We've definitely had dialogue since then about it. And I, like I'm totally fine to pay it back. I just, once we found out we were coming on the podcast, I was like, I'm totally fine to pay it back. I just, once we found out we were coming on the podcast, I was like, I'm going to wait until after to just like, hear what you have to say. And I'm still totally fine paying it back.

Like, it's really not about the money. We're both doing fine at this place in our lives. Like it's, it's not about the money. And I don't kind of what Morgan was saying earlier. Like, I don't want things down the road to kind of be paid off if we get into an argument. I don't want that at all. Here you go. How about this? What do you think about this, Nicole? How about you use some of that money, all that money, whatever you decide to do something nice for or with Joe? I don't know,

some sort of steak night out, or I don't know whatever Joe's into. Get them something like, maybe not all of it, but like you do something together. You use that money towards, yeah, your clothes. Because have you already bought the clothes? Have you already?

No, she hasn't used the money. No, I haven't used any of the money. Okay. Which is really... I do. Personally, I do. Just because... If you think you should. Just because, A, if you're questioning it,

I feel like you should follow your gut. Because honestly, you're really letting him pay you off, A. And B, you're going to feel bad about it later on. And also, he's going to get you stuff regardless during your relationship. And I'm sure he treats you really well. Like, I don't think it's worth it. And I don't think it's nice or right to take the money from him. And it's the thought that counts, honestly.

He did actually like show you like, whatever I did wrong and I feel horrible about this, I want to make it up to you. So he made the effort and he tried. And I think it's right for you to acknowledge that, but I don't think it's right for you to take the money. Yeah. And I think if anything,

it's because it sounds like Nicole, there's a part of you that's questioning it. Yeah. Like it doesn't feel right. Yeah. It did in the moment when I accepted the transfer. Because you're just like mad. You're just like, yeah.

Yeah. So whether you give the money back or not, but it sounds like for two people who both said it's not about the money, maybe you give it back. But maybe you guys just do something fun together, spend some money on each other, maybe give us a small gift. I don't know. Because it is kind of awkward giving it back too oh yeah it's so awkward like no i'm gonna like

give you this money back you know you get kind of you also get kind of sad when they like accept it and you're like fuck and then joseph's like i what i made her give her my money back like what the fuck so like i don't know maybe maybe there's just like another way of saying because this is we all know it's not about the money so let's not make it about the, maybe there's just like another way of saying, because this is, we all know it's not about the money. So let's not make it about the money. Maybe there's just a way of like doing something nice for each other. You keep the money and I don't know, Nicole, you give them something. I don't know if Joe, you were saving up for something that you want down the road and like you give them a nice gift.

Maybe this is way too cheesy, but what if we ended the mediation calls with each person saying something they like about their partner? I think that's fun i'll let joe decide because that if that could be joe's worst nightmare okay totally totally and the fairness you don't have to it was a pitch i threw it out there but you're you're you guys are welcome to say something nice about your partner i'll let you i'll let you go ahead on this one. Okay, well, there's many things, but not to get too into detail.

We are in a bit of a long distance situation. We live about two hours apart. And she does come and see me far more frequently. Sometimes it's due with my work. I go on the road for work and I'm gone for a long sense of time. But she does come and see me quite a bit she makes that drive quite often always brings me something or helps pay for groceries when she's here stuff like that so that's uh that's very nice oh acts of service we love it we love the acts of service what about you Nicole I think with Joe, it's just the way that he makes me feel is never like I'm less than. He treats me like such an equal.

And I've never experienced that in a relationship before. So I just think that shows the kind of man that he is and even even throughout like this long distance relationship yes I come and like visit him more but the way that he treats me um when I'm there or when we're apart is just unlike I've been treated before. So it's just really special. Well, that's great. I appreciate, I appreciate the way he, he really treats me as an equal. Well, we're happy for both of you and we're glad that this, uh, fight, uh, will not be the end of you. Sounds like you guys have a great thing going on. Uh, thanks for calling in. I appreciate it. Um, are you,

what do you think you're gonna do, Nicole? Um, I think we'll chat about it afterwards here but uh i think he's gonna get a nice birthday gift coming up there you go we'll see shoot us an email let us know let us know uh joe thank you for uh coming on you've been a good sport no problem i appreciate it no problem thank you thank you for having me yeah best luck to both of you uh appreciate it guys bye guys thank Thank you for having me. Yeah. Best of luck to both of you. Uh, appreciate it guys. Bye guys. Thank you. See you.

I feel like another successful mediation. I feel like we helped save the relationship. Yeah. Morgan, this has been so fun. This has been so fun. Uh, thank you for coming on.

Uh, what are our biggest takeaways? Responsible dating. What are, I just think we have to figure out a way to define things a little more clearer and yeah it's great that we hold the west elm caleb's more accountable without maybe like yeah like outing their personal information but we we have to like the only people we can control are our own choices. Of course. And so ask ourselves the tough questions. Stop hoping they're doing what you want them to do,

especially when things aren't defined, right? Of course, yeah. Stop hoping they're sleeping with other people. Stop hoping. You'll never get your answers if you don't ask the questions. Yeah. Yeah. And you need to ask, are you sleeping with other people?

Do you want to be with me? Yeah. Are we together? Exactly. Yeah. Oh, And you need to ask, are you sleeping with other people? Do you want to be with me? Yeah. Are we together? Exactly. Yeah. Oh, your mom's heard of me? Does she want to meet me? Does she want to meet me?

Does she want to meet me? What does she say about me? I'm available. Let me know. What are your intentions? What are your intentions? Morgan, can you let my audience know where they can follow you

on all the social media platforms and all the things you're talking about? Sure. All my social media platforms has the same username, Morgan B. Cohen. And that's it. Follow me on TikTok if you want some good advice, because I usually give a lot of good advice,

especially if you have a broken heart. She does. I also quite liked your TikTok you did not too long ago when you talked about your dad. Yeah. That story broke my heart, though. I've never had a heartbreak in my entire life this is my first one and I'm hysterical like I want like I literally this this heartbreak made me

a different person it it shattered me in every way shape and form and my dad seeing me like this like I'll never forget I'm crying in my bathroom by myself just like wanting to die like just like thinking like I lost my other half. What am I supposed to do? I was with this person for three years. Now what am I? And my dad looks at me and he's like, tells me this story about this girl that he was in college with,

that he dated in college, but she didn't go to school with him. And she lived like eight hours away. And he treated her like garbage. Like I mean garbage, like the least amount of respect a person could have for someone because he was a fuck boy like most guys are in college. And she just got fed up with it and broke up with him. And he goes to go find her and like get her back and she wouldn't take him back. And he to this day says it was one of his biggest regrets treating her like that because she never deserved that and it gave me so much clarity

in my life to know that if a guy has if someone that I dated has a daughter going through the same thing I went through he's gonna think about me and he's gonna be like fuck how like how did I treat her like that if this is what she went through like seeing your child heartbroken breaks your heart and it you want to take all the pain away from them and it makes me like so emotional because when I saw my dad see me like this the look in his eyes made me I'm not guilt it's like it's like it's a mixture of guilt and just, how do I fix this? What do I do? Like, how do I make her feel better when I can't make her feel better?

Like, I was a wreck for like a year and a half. It was horrible. And they just had to deal with me. They didn't know what to do. It was horrible. Like, I had a, like, I called therapists. I did everything. Yeah, it was terrible.

I was like that for six months. And it just gives you a lot of clarity and know that you can move on, but you'll never forget the people that you really hurt. I'm assuming a lot of the stuff that you talk about is a direct result of all the things you needed to do for yourself to get to where you are now. Yeah, I never make it. And now you're just kind of sharing with your audience. Yeah, it's my diary. I never make up my life experiences. That stuff really happens.

And honestly, it sucks, but it's a great way for people to learn and educate themselves on things that are probably going to happen in their lives and how to maybe prevent it or control it. It's a crazy dating world out there. Yeah, it sucks.

Stay safe, everybody. Stay safe. Morgan, thanks so much. We control it. It's a crazy dating world out there. Yeah, it sucks. Stay safe, everybody. Stay safe. Morgan, thanks so much. We appreciate it. Don't forget to send your questions at asknickatcastme.com, cast with a K. For all the mediations out there,

get your boyfriends and husbands to come on in. I know. Thanks for all the guys who agree to do this because I'm assuming... Do you not do friends too? Hey, if you have fights with friends, coworkers... Those are always fun. Those are always fun. thanks for all the guys who agreed to do this because I'm assuming do you not do friends too? hey

if you have fights with friends co-workers those are always fun those are always fun yeah any real fight we'll help you solve it yeah

you know we're here for you so send in those questions we appreciate it and other than that stay safe dating

bye guys bye safe dating.