The Viall Files - E383 Going Deeper – Comedian, Taylor Tomlinson

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

Today we are back with another episode of Going Deeper with The Viall Files. We are joined by Comedian Taylor Tomlinson who has another new Netflix Special, LOOK AT YOU out March 8th. In this episode we talk about her standup, relationship chaos you put up with when you’re younger, and what we learn as we go through heartbreak. After our interview we go through trending pop culture topics, such as the new dating app where you select the type of relationship you are looking for by choosing a type of fruit; where peach is a kissing relationship, cherry is for the long-term relationship, and watermelon (not eggplant) means friends with benefits. We also dive into talking about how people aren’t watching the Olympics, how it’s likely the athletes are hooking up, and what dating must be like at the Olympic Village. We close with a mediation call from our audience. We bring on a famous Tik-Tok couple, Maya & Hunter, who are fighting about splitting the holidays and how to divide time between both of their families. We dive into how your parents will expect everything until you give them boundaries. “You’re a lot, but you’re not bad” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: Wondery: Follow Even The Rich on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @taylortomlinson @maya.and.hunter Comedy Tour Site: https://ttomcomedy.com/   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're crazy what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files i am your host nick joined by ali amanda, how are you? Good. I feel like I say good every time. No, not good. Should we require you to have a new adjective of how you are? Yeah, that's a good, yep, I'll work on that.

We have a great episode for you. The one, the only, Taylor Tomlinson. Thrilling. So, so thrilling. And I can say I was a huge, huge fan. I came into this with incredibly high expectations and it did not disappoint. The mediation call slapped. As well as Taylor. Yeah.

Even before. Everything. All about. Amanda mentioned our mediation call. We have a bit of a celebrity. Celebrity mediation call. Celebrity mediation call. You may know them from tiktok uh are they is it maya and hunter hunter maya and hunter on tiktok uh hunter does the day in the life of a stay-at-home husband he's a stay-at-home husband i believe he's currently going to law school and then she's working full-time so he does his like stay-at-home husband stuff while she's working gotcha well

yeah there's still trouble in paradise and we are here to help uh very relatable topic uh families and holidays and the pressures about appeasing the in-laws and the problems that causes so you won't want to miss that um anything going on in your personal lives that we need to like share with the world i it's new girl gone or yeah it's not gone i think we're gonna we're transitioning to friendship and she's also gonna live with one of my best friends now that's an update so so we will we will remain in each other's lives transitioning to friendship yeah it certainly goes against one of my core principles of relationships but hey that's i think i think a lot of gay women it's more so become friends with their exes okay there's a lot of friends so i don't have ignorance in this topic

think conscious uncoupling as opposed to breaking up yeah i think it's also i think i mean obviously like there is like a romantic component to like what we were doing before so i guess in that way it's like very much how the roommate situation come to be were you blessed what no so are you accepting this or well yeah like i guess like they were both pretty especially my like friend the friend who like new girl is potentially and probably moving in with like my friend was really good about like checking in with me um and sort of being like hey like how do you feel about this like is this something you're comfortable with like and this was before I'd sort of like I didn't really I was like really

sad and I just like didn't really talk to my friends about like the conversation we had transitioning for a little bit um because I was yeah um and so then my friend reached out was like hey like I know you're at a really early stage of a relationship like is it okay if we live together and I was like funny you should say that we're actually not in an early stage of relationship anymore um and I at first I was kind of like can we just like give it a month and like see how stuff settles? Because like, even though it was like, we're still trying to be friends. And like, I think I don't know. I think I was I think I was the one who was like, like, it definitely wasn't like I ended

things. But like, I think I was definitely the one who like came to terms with like really not being in the place to pursue this relationship right now. And so I've sort of felt this like thing of like like new girl is like phenomenal I think of so highly of her she's shown so much kindness to me she did she went above and beyond for my birthday she was coordinating stuff with my best like my best friend from home who surprised me so I was like this is someone who has shown me like a lot of like generosity and care and like I think they really would be great roommates so I want to be in a place where I'm fine with that

but then there's also a little part of me that's like my friend mine you know and so I was like I just need to like sit with that I know that that's childish I know I can overcome it but like that's where I'm at right now so I was like can we just give it a week and then or like I said a few weeks and then I was just sort of like I'm over I think that's a great you're being very noble and also harming herself. I don't think it would be unreasonable to not be in love with that. Sounds like it was really trying to be understanding, which is great. But well, she,

I think if it's like, I feel like she's earned that. Like I think with, with other people, like other situations, I think with other relationships, you have every right to be like, no,

you don't get to live with my ex. And I know you guys would be good roommates, but I don't want you to live with my ex. And I guess she's not technically my ex but like I think because it was not something one that can like ended in a contentious way like I didn't feel wronged by her and because she was just like the standard with which she treated me throughout the whole thing was so high that it's like how could I not try to do the like personal maturity coming to terms with this fact on your behalf when like you have done so much and you have demonstrated so much emotional maturity

and like kindness and service of me is kind of, I don't, I don't think any of us get to decide what they do. You know what I'm saying? Like, but you can still, you're trying not, you're not only,

you're not saying that you can't do that because you don't have a right to do that, but you're trying to feel you can't do that because you don't have a right to do that but you're trying to feel positive about it because anyone would have the right to feel like not in love with the fact that someone they dated or thought romantically is now going to be like oh okay like you're living with my best friend in la so we'll be seeing a lot of each other maybe even more than when we hung out you know yeah like that would be a normal thing to have a little bit of anxiety about that and you're trying not to have anxiety you're trying to be okay

with it yeah well because it's like you don't get to have your cake and eat it too. Like she, like new girl made it very clear that like, because a lot of this was coming down to like me feeling like there were certain things that I like, did you introduce them? Yes. Yeah. I like,

I was hearing, I think you're being insanely generous. I agree. Well, even if, I don't think there's anything wrong, but even if you ended things, you still don't have to be okay with them living together.

And I think, I don't, I think she was like, don't say on the podcast that you broke up. So this is me officially setting the record straight. It was a very mutual decision, but I do think it was like, she demonstrated more of a willingness to like show like patience and like

meeting me where I was at. And I think for me, I was just like, I, I got really in my head about certain things, feel a huge sense of pressure. So like, even though you're saying like, I will be patient, I can meet you where you are.

I will just feel bad for being like, I know that there's another person who is like, whose timeline is affected by mine. And like, that's the very thing that I don't need. So I just feel like, you know, she's like such a goddamn class act. Like how do I, it makes me want to be like, okay. I love that you have nice things to say about her.

It's just interesting the way you talk. It's such a fine line between trying to do the right thing and being toxic. I think in general. And it's the way you were saying it, right? Because you were just like, she did all these things for me. There's a sense of obligation that you feel like you have

and being okay with it. These are all well-intentioned thoughts and feelings. But I think oftentimes in relationships and breakups, we do that. Well, good luck. Let's get to Taylor. Taylor, welcome. Nick, thank you. We're so excited to have you.

Thank you so much for having me. My audience got real excited when we were like, next week, Taylor Thomas. But you weren't feeling well. I know. I got COVID. Finally. I'm so sorry.

But you came right back. I did. I did come right back. I felt so bad, too, because when you DMed me saying like, hey, sorry you don't feel good. I had tested positive, but I didn't have symptoms yet. And I was like, I'm probably going to be fine. And then I had symptoms like two days later and it wasn't fun.

It wasn't good. It wasn't that fun, but we're here now. You're here now. Happy, healthy, got through it. What's new? I mean, you know, just on tour, just doing it. Is your tour going right now? Yeah.

Yeah, tour's going right now. New Netflix special's out March 8th. Yes. Yeah. So I'm very nervous. Everyone's like, are you excited? I'm like, I'm always nervous when things come out. That makes sense.

But you've recorded it. Yeah. Did it go well when you filmed it? Yeah. It went well. When you get nervous about that stuff, what makes you, you're just not sure how the masses will go,

how it'll work in the algorithm, what makes you most nervous? Yeah, I mean, you don't know. You're always like, I hope people like it, but I don't fucking know. And yeah, this hour is more personal. There's stuff I talk about that I'm kind of like, I mean, my therapist kind of hinted that maybe I should wait,

but I didn't and we'll see how it goes. So yeah, and I think just anytime you put something out that you worked really hard on, like in this business, you're like, if this isn't received well, you know, critically or by your audience or whatever, like that's going to suck real hard. perceived well, you know, critically or by your audience or whatever, like, that's going to suck real hard. But I guess. Do they, when they do the comedy specials, do they, I don't know how Netflix works, but like, do they, do they test it out? Like,

have you seen it yet? No. Oh yeah. I've seen it. I was there like editing it. Okay. You got to be involved. Oh yeah. Very much so. I don't know how it works. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, Netflix is great. They like really... They let you do your show. Which I didn't know when I filmed Quarter Life Crisis. I was very much like along for the ride. Like they were like, we're going to pay you. And I was like, what? Like I was so...

So I was just like, this looks great. Awesome. Sounds good. And I couldn't believe I got to be involved in editing. I couldn't believe I got final say on everything. And so this time around with the new special, it's called Look at You. And it's like everything, it felt very collaborative. Like the director, Chris Mercado, was so amazing and had such like a vision for it.

And I really got to be like more proactive, I guess, about what I wanted it to look like and feel like. And I wasn't as, you know, getting pulled behind the cart this time around. I was like, I know how this goes. I know how involved I get to be in the editing. And like, I know they're going to have like a colorist fix how pale I look. It's like you just don't know any of this stuff before you do it the first time. So I felt like I went in knowing what to expect, which was nice. But yeah, you still don't know if people are going to like it.

Oh, Wondery, they're back. You know, even the rich. That celebrity podcast that talks about all the tragic lives of the rich and famous in this all-new season of even the rich host brooke and arisha are telling the story of janet jackson that's right she was such a huge uh celebrity and at the peak of her career when uh she influenced the likes of my daughter mariah carey even her brother michael she was the top of the world. And in one faithful split second, her boob popped out at the Super Bowl.

It all went downhill from there. She was so well known for other things. And in one second, that is just like the memory that is with her. I didn't even appreciate just how much it did negatively affect her. You didn't realize like how it? No.

And also the way it was singularly her and like Justin. Not Justin. Justin got no criticism. Of course. Because she's a woman. So now even the rich is going to lift that curtain. So let's get into it on this podcast. And let's discuss the details.

There you go. So find out more. It's a very fascinating story about Janet. And make sure to listen to even the rich and rich and daily on Apple podcast Amazon music Spotify or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app I think it would be great thank you now I feel better now I know do you get to test with do you get to show friends or anything I mean I showed I watched it with my best friend of like 18 years, which was fun because she laughed at all the parts that I like the best that are more like

asides or she was like, oh my God. Or she'd be like, that's an old one. Like there are a couple lines in there where she's like, you did that a long time ago. And then you stopped and then you brought it back. And then there are other ones where she's like, that's hilarious. And then she'll miss like the bigger punchline because she just thought the smaller one was funny because we have the same weird sense of humor. So like lines I kept in more for me, she really appreciated and she liked it overall a lot. So that made me feel better as well because she's like, you a wonderful uh talented amazing lawyer person uh who i trust very much so it's always great to have those those is she the same type of friend who would would you believe her do you always believe her would she criticize you or like

would she kind of give you a note if there was a note to give or she's that that go-to friend who's just gonna no no no no she would tell me because she knows I want that like I'm very much open to feedback which maybe I shouldn't be as open is she the same friend you would go to for like heartbreak oh yeah oh my god yeah I I've talked to her so many times over the years because she's been with the same person since like oh my god since we're like 22 I think it's been with the same person since like, oh my God, since we were like 22. I think it's been like six years, seven years maybe. And I have been in a few relationships in that time.

And every like year and a half, I'm like, I'm really sorry you have to do this every year and a half. It's my time. It's fine. It's fine. But do you think, Amanda and I were talking about this earlier.

Do you think you, the person who's had some, been in and out of some relationships, maybe a year, year and a half, whatever, you learned some, you know, got it wrong, I guess, but did you? Who knows?

And then your friend, stable, 20, you know, since she was 22, who's better? At relationships? At relationship advice. Oh, her. I think it's her.

Giving the advice for like the do's and don'ts because is it because like maybe it's just she she got she won the relationship lottery with her partner you know that's so funny I was just thinking about that this morning where I was like am I even qualified to be giving advice on relationship stuff because I was thinking about this podcast because I'm like you're just in relationships for like a year to two years and maybe that's not good I think in terms of like watching out for red flags maybe what you learned you know yeah yeah what you learned and then like I have a lot of friends like that who have been with their partners for years and years and I think they're good for providing perspective once you're in a relationship. Yeah.

More so than like the beginning stages of meeting someone because they haven't done that for a while. Like how helpful is like the person who's married their high school sweetheart going to like help you out with the dating apps in a situation ship you might find yourself. But like he just acts like my boyfriend, but he's never there. Yeah. My buddy, Dustin Nickerson, who goes on the road with me and is very funny, he's been married since he was 19. And yeah, he's never been through a breakup, not one time and can't help you.

He can help you with like relationship advice because he's been in a successful marriage for so long. But like, if you're like dating and you need help, like it's not, you know, if you're going through a breakup he's like I'm sorry but he can't be like I know exactly how you feel there's a kind of like get over it eventually no it's not even get over it it's just like I don't know what to tell you like I literally don't know how this feels which is insane to me that anybody could be like I don't know how this feels, which is insane to me that anybody could be like, I don't know what it's like to be broken up with. It's a, yeah, it's a weird thing not to have experienced. Yeah. Really? He's a unicorn in that way. It's a funny thing. It's one of the few things

that when it's happening, especially the first time, it truly does feel like it will kill you. Oh, yeah. It feels like you won't survive it. Yeah. And then when the first time it happens, you're like, I truly don't think I'll get over it. And it's one of those things, you're not in control of,

you can't control it because you can't control someone who breaks up with you. You can't control how people, you just can't control it. you can't control someone who breaks up with you. You can't control how people, you just can't control it. And so we feel so helpless. And you can't control something not being right. Even if you're the one who leaves, like people think like if you're the one who leaves,

you can't be sad sometimes. And you're like, it is very hard to be the person who leaves also. Because then you also second guess yourself. Especially if you're trying to like do the mature thing. like not you know you sprinkle some guilt on there yeah yeah yeah it's a lot it's a lot and yeah i see it in the tiktoks too like you know well i'll i'll i'll give some sort of advice about something and some sort of like hey listen like maybe there's another way to look at it type of thing right And there's always a handful and you can tell

it's the someone with a broken heart comes in and it's like, but I did that or they, you know, it's like how their situation is different and they're just pure evil. Yeah. And you, and I, it's just like, well, I don't know. Maybe they are. I don't know.

But like, there's a real sense of like hatred and anger and like it's uh and yeah it's come from because that person probably feels like they won't survive this pain yeah yeah and every time you go through a breakup you're like oh my god this is I should get paid time off like this is so brutal like mentally emotionally physically like you forget like physically you're fucked up yeah you're like this is insane that we talk to our friends like if you're in a happy relationship and your friend goes through a breakup you're like oh I feel so bad for them but it never quite hits you how bad it is until you go through it again and then you're like oh my god I should have I should have been sending them flowers

every hour. I should have driven to them like three states away. I should have been there. It's really, really crazy how you forget. You only fall asleep out of pure physical exhaustion. And then you wake up and there's always that moment when you first wake up and it's like, there's like a 0.1 seconds of forgetting that you're heartbroken. And then you wake up and there's always that like moment when you first wake up and it's like, there's like a 0.1 seconds of like forgetting that you're heartbroken. And then you remember that you're heartbroken and you literally feel the body like a gas tank fill up with anxiety and there's like another fucking day. Right. You're like, oh, that's right.

Day 11. Yeah. Or you're still counting down. You know, when you go through a breakup and you're like, it's been 12 days of no contact. Like you're just counting. Now, have you had more than one broken heart? Yeah. Okay. I don't know.

Some people say. Do people only have one? I guess I just talked about my friend who hasn't gone through one. I think it ranges. Some people. Yeah, I guess that's true. I mean, I have friends who,

you know, like I have a friend who just turned 30 and like met her soulmate and is so happy. And before that, she was like, I don't know if I've ever been in love, really. And so everybody has different experiences. I've been, I think I've been in love a few times. Because the pain of heartbreak,

that when it happens, it's always the same as bad. But for, I've, getting through it a couple times, the best part is it like, at least now you know you will survive it. Oh, totally. And that goes a long way. Yes. It doesn't help that pain in the moment,

but you just know, okay, like I don't know when. Right. But I can. And the first, the worst part about heartbreak the first time is not knowing you can makes it longer. Yeah. Because you don't even consider the possibility that you can.

Yes. So you don't even consider the possibility of accepting the reality that maybe this isn't the best fit for you. You will just like fight through it. You know, it's like that fight or flight. You know, you can't, like when we go into, when our body goes into this shock of like heartbreak this is kind of this literal fight or flight thing and we can't fly away from our pain so we'll just fight for the thing that we thought could like make us happy yeah and it's just it's it's why it sucks yeah but knowing you can is it does it is helpful yeah

but then every breakup you go through you're like well that was my last chance I think like you never feel like you're gonna fall in love again you're like I think I'm just dead inside now I think that was it

I think that one broke me and you're always wrong yeah I think it's just different yeah I think you just fall in love different at least for me

I had a it's just not like it's not falling in love for the first time or like I'm a bachelor you know it's not this crazy intense like let's just forget common sense yeah and and then when you get older you're just like but I have expectations now and like I don't like that and like and then it's like a slower like burn right yeah I had I used to I used to get worried about that. Like, will I ever fall in love again?

And then I thought to myself, I guess maybe I should just pick someone and make it work. I know, you do feel like that. It's just like, everyone's going to have their stuff. Like, why don't I just make it work over here? Like, yeah. I'm the problem.

But definitely, I'm annoying. You know, like I'll just, they seem nice. Like, what am I looking for? I don't know. Am I ever going to fall in love? I was 18 when I felt like that you know like I feel like your stand-up talks like one thing especially in quarter-life crisis that a lot of people respond to is kind of like acknowledging that like in your 20s you are deeply deeply flawed and I'm curious like within the context of breakups or just like love in general how you find that balance of like calling yourself

out on your bullshit and holding yourself accountable while also not letting people convince you that you're always the problem and like holding others accountable. Oh, dude, it's so hard. I think it's just a lot of therapy. It's a lot of like asking your therapist, like, okay, am I being unreasonable? Am I a bad person? Like you see me an hour a week. You probably know, right? Am I a bad human being? I've been both people in relationships where I think that they're the problem and I won't get past certain things or I think I'm so much better. And then I've been the person who has very low self-esteem and thinks I'm the problem and thinks that if I just change a bunch of stuff about me, they'll like love me the right way or in the way that I need them to.

And that's what's so frustrating about your 20s is like every two years, you're a different human being and you're in a different relationship. And you're like, I mean, I was, it was my fault the last time, but it's not this time, but I didn't think it was last time. And so maybe I'm still the problem. Like it's really hard to strike that balance between like calling yourself out on your shit, as you said, and also standing up for yourself and not letting people walk all over you or put in way less effort than you because you're so desperate to be loved or you feel so guilty

about how you handled the last relationship. Like I've done that where I felt like I wasn't a great partner in my last relationship. So then in my next relationship, I will like put up with anything because I go, well, I deserve this treatment as like penance for the last one. I carry a lot of like guilt for anything I've ever done wrong, even by accident. And it just eats away at me forever. So.

Were you religious growing up? Yeah. Yeah. Catholic. Yeah. Yeah. No, I still feel bad for having sex at all. So I think that it's really tough to make sense of what are unrealistic expectations and what is not.

And all you really have sometimes is like your friends are in healthy relationships and you go, well, I know that I can have that because so-and-so's partner does it. Or like, have you ever done the thing where you tell your friends about something that your partner did and you're like, but I understand why because I am really hard to be with. And like, of course they feel that way. And of course they said that to me. And your friend's like, are you okay? Because you know, like my partner does what you do and I just understand and hug them. Like, you know what I mean because, you know, like, my partner does what you do and I just understand and hug them. Like, you know what I mean?

Or you're like, oh, I understand why they're not great to me about this. And then you talk to somebody else who's like, you can find somebody who is okay with that and knows how to handle it. Yeah, when I was younger. Yeah. When I was younger and trying desperately to handle it. I've, yeah, when I was younger. Yeah. When I was, when I was younger and trying to desperately

to make certain relationships work. Yeah. They would be like, you know, Mitch, maybe that's just not great. Yeah. Maybe.

I mean, yeah, you're obnoxious, but like, nevertheless, I don't know if I'd put up with that. You know? Yeah,

yeah, yeah. You're a lot, but you're not like bad yeah i don't know if it deserves this right right you know like that seems aggressive yeah exactly yeah no i yeah we we compromise with ourselves a lot but it's tough because you're right you know think about it like every you know my parents have this relationship and it's like, even good role models can be bad role models.

Yeah. You're just like, well, fuck. Well, my mom and dad just told me it's not always easy. You got to work through the hard times, you know, got to fight for love and you got all these rom-coms and like, they're just like toxic as shit, yelling at each other and they made it work. Yeah. You know, and we don't ever question that.

Why? Because we always see the end of the movie. Yeah. It's just like, oh, well, I just got to get to the end. We're just in the second act. Yeah. That's all.

I know. How old were you when you realized you're not supposed to fight like they do in movies? You're like, oh, that's not good. I honestly think as a society, we've only recently realized. Yeah.

I think like recently in the past five years with all these podcasts and talking about boundaries and learning about words like you know love bombing and bread and bread crumbing yeah and just or just the word toxic relationship i think in these past five years and you put it back on and be like fucking carrie bradshaw's a monster. Oh my God. You know? And it's stuff like that or The Notebook or whatever. It's just like, that was terrible. Oh yeah.

The Notebook is a tragedy that she left James Marsden. That's like the saddest part of the film. Noah is a fuck boy. Oh, Noah's crazy. He's insane. Yeah. And most of us forget

that we're not Allies. We're just all a bunch of Martha's wanting to have an Allie love story yeah I was thinking about that part where they're in the truck yelling at each other and then they start making out and the narrator's like they had one thing in common

they fought all the time but they also couldn't keep their hands off each other and you're like this is not good really unhealthy yeah but yet we all loved it we're just like

oh what a good love story even when we watch it now we'll still get the feels and that's because we know they end up in love such a toxic message and yet

it was our playbook for so long yeah but then it's hard because then you talk to a lot of people who've been in successful relationships for a long time

and the beginning was maybe rocky or they had one thing. But do you believe that thing people say of like, it should be super easy for like the first year? I believe that more than I did back in the day. Should we get into some pop culture stuff? Let's do it. Okay, so we're going to start with the one that is the most love-oriented, which is that Bumble dating app is acquiring the French dating app

Fruits, which has grown in popularity amongst Gen Z. And the most important thing to know about Fruits is that this app lets users to choose what, like,

to sort of specify what they're looking for by choosing a fruit. So you can have peach, which is kissing relationship. Oh, sorry. What? Yeah, butt stuff. Yeah, that's what I was just like.

I was like, what? Like that's the first one right out the gate. Do I have to relearn my emojis? I'm like, they know there's like a kissy emoji, right? They don't have to reinvent the wheel. We have a cherry, which is looking for a long-term relationship. And then watermelon, which is friends with benefits, etc. Thoughts on this model of dating?

What do we think about- God forbid you just write it out. Like, really? We had to pick emojis for want a relationship? The cherry? I'm like, they all have weird connotation. We got the peach, which is a butt. Cherry reminds me of like being a virgin. Yeah, yeah, yeah weird connotation we got the peach which is a butt cherry reminds me

of like being a virgin yeah yeah yeah and then what was the other one watermelon watermelon just reminds me of boobs yeah

is that just me yeah I'm kind of like the other one's gonna be like an eggplant or something seriously that's what I thought yeah why is it like

down to fucking eggplant like well it's fruits it's gotta be I don't think an eggplant is a fruit not vegetables not vegetables is that all that's right it's called fruits it's gotta be i don't think an eggplant is not vegetables that's right it's called fruits not it's not fruits and vegetables is there like a profile i mean this has the same energy as those parties in college that were like the stoplight parties

so you'd wear either red yellow or green based on your relationship status i it just it's a lot of work that makes more sense to me. I'm a huge advocate of upfront expectations, but sometimes this is a way of not totally doing the work. You know what I'm saying? I'm sitting down and be like, so what do you like? What are you into?

What should we do? They're like, no. The fruit is going to like... And I can just see a lot of two-week relationships at the end and be like, but you said you were looking for a watermelon. Not a peach. Like, what the fuck?

I don't know. It's just a cutesy way of doing it, I guess. I feel like I would just forget what they all mean constantly. Oh,

I know. I really think it's gonna, I think sometimes these apps, like there is that one where you could rate people and that went. Oh, Lulu's? Yeah, I think. What? You could rate people and that went oh lulus

yeah I think what you could rate people it was like for women it got real it was like women could rate men

it got toxic real fast oh that sounds horrible I think when we talk about this it's important to say that like I think in dating society it is really hard for women to like know

which kind of guys will be incredibly dangerous and so I think there is a storied history of like women trying to like warn other women about dangerous behavior that being said well this app might have been started kind of with that intention of like sisterhood like warning people about bad guys it got burn book real quick yeah real real mean fat shaming body shaming you know like you know he's a weirdo like oh that's so sad

it was I mean why can't this app just be like the only question we ask you is what are you looking for I mean is that kind of the idea

I mean is there other stuff you put on fruits is it just like a picture with one of those emojis you have to pose with the fruit itself no name you don't have a name

there's also grapes as an additional category which are one night stand. I thought that was going to be polyamory. Yeah, because there's many on one night. Yeah, many on grapes. It's like, I think we need to redesign the system.

There's fruit choices are all off. It's like, I want to download it right now and understand. Yeah, it's like a very marketable cute thing but I feel like who's gonna say

I'm looking for a one night do people say I'm looking for a one night stand don't one night stands just kind of like happen

I think people put like just looking for fun like nothing serious on other dating apps you can say not looking for anything serious

which I always assume is can be just a one and done situation sure it's not gonna be like a one and done situation. Sure. It's not going to be like a consistent hookup.

Does not looking at anything serious like mean so what is the in between where like I just want to keep it casual but like I might introduce you to my parents. I need a date to my brother's wedding. But that's it. Nothing more. I think dating's horrible well yeah i was gonna say i imagine with fruits because i feel like it becomes as much as there are like people going

into dating with different intentions they just become these like platitudes and buzzwords that become like what everybody conceives of as like the chill thing to say and what they're supposed to say and then everybody just says the same thing so i feel like on fruits it would just be like there's one that's like enormously chill that everybody begins to put yeah and then we lose the system I mean I'm excited for bumble because I feel like it's going to give us some like rich content but like all right what did what fruit was he before you guys went on a date yeah also do they like if are they on their like fourth date and they're like I started out as as a grape, but through this date, you've turned me into a watermelon. Do they have updates?

Yeah, it starts as a grape, you know? Turns out they're cherries. I don't know. Okay, pivoting to the next topic. So there's been a lot of Kanye drama, but the piece that I would like to discuss is him getting mad at Billie Eilish. Billie Eilish during- Wait, he's him getting mad at Billie Eilish. Billie Eilish during...

Wait, he's in a fight with Billie Eilish? Correct. Yeah. He called out something that she said in regards to Travis Scott, which is that Billie Eilish at one of her shows, there was a fan who was in need of like an inhaler or who was in any way, like had some kind of medical stuff going on. And Billie Eilish paused and was like,

I wait for people to be okay before I keep going. I think very obviously referencing Astroworld, a festival where there are incredibly unsafe conditions and Travis Scott received a lot of criticism for, yeah, for like not stopping

when there are people young, there's bodies in the audience. So my question to Taylor was sort of, would I stop a show if someone was dying? Yeah. No.

That's the easiest questions I've ever answered. Do you think, what do you think in terms of like Billie Eilish, like calling out somebody else in the industry, like as a comedian, to what extent do you feel like it is your job, place or responsibility to use your platform to like acknowledge or call out bad behavior from your peers? I would even note just before you answer, she never said his name.

She never called him out directly. It could be implied, but I think that is a difference too. She never named him. How did she say it? She's like, I help people who are needy. There was a bit of a tone of, in comparison to something else, I would say having listened to her say it.

Did the fans immediately cheer in response to what she knew she was yeah okay didn't someone else do that not that that matters either but I would also say there's been

when Astroworld happened people started posting videos of other artists that had taken the time to be safe and she had done this before Astroworld even happened

for a different show she was like security where are you at for whatever was unsafe so she has a habit of stopping to take care of people. Also, what's the criticism?

Yeah. That she did that? What's Kanye upset about? He says she needs to apologize to Travis Scott or else he won't perform at Coachella with her. This is just someone trying to be in the news, I think. I'm worried about his mental health. I'm so mad I know another thing about Kanye.

I'm so bored. I'm so bored. Like another thing about Kanye. Like, I'm so bored. I'm so bored. Like, okay, don't perform that. Like, what do you... I don't know. Okay, so on the topic of not caring, the Olympics are happening. Does anybody care about the Olympics anymore?

Did you ever used to watch it? No. I don't. I mean, I'm sure some people care. It's not as much as it used to be. It used to be like a family event. Yeah. Well, there's so much content now.

Like there's so much stuff you can watch. That is true. It has to do with that. You can watch all the Olympics now. Yeah. You can binge the Olympics. You can binge the Olympics if you want. So why would we?

I mean, that's what people do. They just like scroll through. I think that's what it is. Especially if it's like overseas, like it's taking place in China. So like now it's just like, you know who won and it's just like the hype

and the anticipation's not there. Because I remember like back in the day, like Nancy Kerrigan, that was like a family event when we got to like watch her take second, you know, Oksana Bayul won. Like I remember this stuff.

I remember the names. It was like a big deal. And now I couldn't, I don't know a single name of a single Olympian except from Sean White, the snowboarder guy. Right, yeah. And that's because he was around back when. And I feel, yeah, it's kind of like,

I actually said this and I was like, should we watch the Olympics? And then we just didn't. Yeah, I mean, I'm not. I think it's fun. I know. You're super into it? Not like super into it,

but I've watched it the last few days. I like playing the game, this was inspired by TikTok, but specifically for the ice dancing and the figure skating portions when they have duos of figuring out if I think they've hooked up with each other

or if they have any sort of sexual tension or if I'm like, nope, one of you is for sure gay. Like I like playing those little mind games as I watch them interact. You make it fun for yourself.

Exactly. The sex stories out of the Olympic villages are always apparently epic. Oh, I'm sure. Much of high trained athletes. Much of Olympians. Oh my God.

They gotta let it out yeah apparently they like give them condoms I heard that yeah I think it's like a I mean they do that at college

so I would hope they did that at the Olympics and also there are a lot of them are like college age yeah you're at your peak

kind of athletically in your early 20s yeah and all these people like they don't probably have dating lives. Yeah. They're too hyper-focused on trying to be Olympians.

Right. So all of a sudden you're just like, wait. That's why I feel like the ice skaters fall in love. Well, it's also like, isn't the Olympics all about like coming together like many different countries competing in one thing? So it's like, nothing's good for diplomacy. Like a bunch of people getting married.

Do you think when people are hooking up, you think So it's like, nothing's good for diplomacy like a bunch of people getting married. Do you think when people are hooking up, you think it's more like, oh, like Americans knowing each other or you're just like, you know what? It's my one and only time

to like get international here. Yeah, like I'm going to hook up with this girl from Cyprus. Yeah. Who knows? That seems like it would be more fun. I mean, now I want to watch

the Olympics just to figure out who's hooked up. Isn't it fun? That is, that's like more fun. I mean, now I want to watch the Olympics just to figure out who's hooked up. Isn't it fun? That's like your own Olympics. Your own separate Olympics. Sexual tension. Yeah. I love that you're just turning the Olympics into The Bachelor.

Yeah. Or Bachelor Island or whatever the one is where everybody's been on The Bachelor. Paradise. Paradise. Thank you. I like Bachelor Island, though. That's fun. But that's what it is, right?

Is it an island or it's just somewhere? It's in Mexico. A beach. It's a beach though. That's fun. But that's what it is, right? Is it an island? No. Or it's just somewhere hot? It's in Mexico. It's a beach. Okay. All right. And that is a great topic for our mediation callers. Our favorite internet couple.

Yeah. We have, this is our first, we got like an internet celebrity couple calling in. I love them. It's a day in the life of a stay-at-home husband. Hey, tough guys. And he has this little Dyson. Oh, you're a big fan of them. I've been told about them. I love them. It's a day in the life of a stay-at-home husband. Hey, tough guys. And he has this little Dyson. Oh, you're big fans of them.

I've been told about them. I love them. Yeah, well, they're calling in. How's it going, guys? Good. How are you? Great. Well, let's start with names.

Yep. Yep. Okay, so I'm Maya. And I'm Hunter. Hunter and Maya. And you guys have, for those of you who don't know, you guys are a big hit on TikTok.

Allie, one of my, well, actually, my associate producer, we promoted Allie and Amanda to associate producers. Congratulations. Allie's a big fan of yours. I love you guys. Day in the life of a stay-at-home husband

with the Home Depot music. Like, you wave that Dyson around. Let's go. I'm ready. I love you guys. Day in the life of a stay at home husband with the Home Depot music. Like you wave that Dyson around. Let's go. I'm ready. Thank you so much. Needless to say though, but you guys are calling in. Um, who wants to start? What's the problem? Who's going to tell the story first? Yeah, totally. So we've got a problem that has a little bit of a backstory. If we can give you some content. Yeah, please. Okay. So we started dating. Well, we met actually the first day of high school.

Yeah. And then freshman year. Freshman year. 14 years old. Didn't start dating until the beginning of sophomore year, though. So we had a little buffer period there. Had to get all that sex out of the way. Exactly. Of course.

Of course. Or wild years. God, I live out the wild year of 14. So we started dating very young and then I did it all throughout high school. And I had very strict parents. I was not allowed to date. So during that time of the development of our young relationship, Maya had to fend off unapproving parents. And so as we've gotten older and we started dating throughout college, we went abroad together and we just got married this last summer. How old are you guys now? Now the relationship.

24. Well, 24. Okay. Everybody on TikTok that I think is my age is 24. Every single person. No, that's so common. Because I'll think people are my age too, and they're like a completely different age. Well, we get comments.

We get comments all the time. We're like, I thought you guys were 30. And it's like, yeah. Because you're so together. You're life's so together. Yeah. Yeah. So basically during that time, Maya had to deal with my parents who were very unapproving.

They have a good relationship now, but our conflict really stems from the idea that we faced this past holiday season. The first holiday season that we had as a married couple where we had to figure out how to split the holidays. And that was really tough because before we were married, it was kind of easy just to like, okay, like I'll do this with my family. You do that with your family. We'll kind of mix when we can. And now we're very much a package deal. So this past Christmas and this past Thanksgiving, it was hard and it got into a little bit of a conflict between the two of us. And for context, both of our families live like 25 minutes apart. So we're kind of expected to be at both places. Each time,

it's not like we can kind of like split the whole day, you know? Do you guys have kids? No. We do not. We don't have kids.

No, they have a successful TikTok account. Okay, yeah. We're in time for both. TikTok's the baby. We've got a dog

on the balcony. Yeah. Great. And like, how much is this like an issue? Like, are you guys already

like anticipating like what's Easter's the next big Easter's coming up? Yeah. Great. And like, how much is this like an issue? Like, are you guys already like anticipating like what's Easter's the next big Easter's coming up? Yeah. Honestly, yeah. I feel like it's not really like, it's not like the biggest issue in the world, but it's kind of like a reoccurring one because every time a holiday comes around,

it's still kind of like, okay, let's negotiate this. Like, let's get into it. And are you guys fighting with each other about it? I mean, it gets to that i mean there were during it's weird because we like to pride and i think this is why it's a conflict that we bring up today is because we like to pride ourselves on being able to like resolve our issues pretty quickly and easily and like communicating we're big on like okay let's communicate our expectations with each other yeah but when it comes to family and like the you know that like i said, there's that backstory and that context and maybe some hurt feelings of the past that come up whenever we start

arguing about it and we have to decide what to do. Like, it's weird how we can get kind of extra defensive when talking about family members. Did you, a question that, like before you guys got married, did you have like a talk with his parents about like all the shit you get like was there ever like a like hey remember the time you like

treated me like I was some sort of monster because you didn't want your son to date and by the way I'm his wife now like did you ever like have a or I'm about to be like there was no like no do you wish you could get an apology honestly

that is something that I wish could have happened maybe you know like and I do have a good relationship with them and we all kind of joke about like oh like remember but it's not really like there was never kind of a full, you know, official like,

let's bury the hatchet. How many find that? But they like you now. Yeah. I mean, I think. You think? They do. They do.

Did you grow up really religious or were they just strict? What religion? There it is, Taylor. That's where we relate. That's why we love your stuff. I was going to say, I was like,

I was like, this is what my life should have looked like if I was better. You grew up religious. God had his way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you, did you grow up super Christian?

Yes. Okay. And are you guys still Christian? Yes. Okay. Not quite as conservative. Not as, not as to the roots

as to our, our graduating class. Does his parents blame you for that? That quite not as much? If they were to listen to this, it'd be like that. Wait, wait, wait. So, let me get this straight. You grew up really religious.

You're still religious. You're married to someone else who is religious. You've only been with each other. You married the person that you were dating in secret, your parents should have a statue

of her. Like, are you fucking kidding me? That's insane. Like, you, that's crazy. Like,

the fact that you're like, I think they like me, they should be just like, carrying you into Christmas on their shoulders. Yeah, they're like, you just won the Super Bowl. They should be able like carrying you into Christmas on their shoulders yeah like you just won

the Super Bowl they should be able to go to like their church friends and be like did your son and daughter do it right cause mine fucking did yeah

and like you guys are like what every Christian parent wants I'm not gonna lie that that did cross my mind yeah

you want you want the you want the credit. Yeah. She had the proposal of the statue. But I didn't think of it. However, yep. And that's the crazy thing that really kind of fuels the conflict when it reoccurs is that I see all of that is valid.

I see that. And I still have a feeling of defensiveness. And to give my parents a little. But I get that. Because I feel like it's so easy to like, be like, oh yeah, my parents have so many flaws. And then when someone else says it, you're like, those are my parents. Like, what do you mean?

And to give my parents. Yeah. To give my parents a little bit of credit, because I'm sure they're going to listen to this. I know. Love you guys. Love you guys. Totally.

But, you know, they, when we started dating so early on, the odds are against it. Yeah. Right. And, you know, I think that their worst fears became less as time went on. But I do think there was a little bit of stubbornness involved. I do think there was like a feeling of like, well, this is where we put our foot down. So we kind of got to leave it.

We got to die. Well, that's why I asked the question is like, I totally get like, how do you know? I mean, like if I don't have kids, but I, I definitely plan on when my like son or daughter who's 14 or 15, like gets a girlfriend to be like, this definitely won't be your person, you know? And we probably will too. Yeah. And like, so like, don't not do your homework because they don't call you back but you guys ended up together and I just I'm just surprised

that's why I asked like it would still be nice to get that like hey sorry we kind of gave you a hard time we're so grateful to have you in our son's life thank you for like making us rock stars at church. Truly.

Yeah. Have your parents call my parents. Yeah, yeah. We'll be grateful. They're like, our son dated at 14. They're like, you want to see our kid's Netflix special? Fuck off with that shit. Sorry.

And that's the problem with my parents though is that they are like not communicative really at all and we have developed a very communicative relationship I think almost in contrast and kind of despite like what I wish I had um and so like they probably do feel the feelings of like even on our wedding day they like hinted at feelings of like by the way like we like this is great like we Like we're supportive, but there was never that, there was never that verbal confirmation of that apology or what you're saying of like, you know, we, we misjudged or we, we wish we hadn't done this a certain way. So, so as going back to the original conflict, you provided that backstory. So I'm assuming on your part are you kind of like

hey his parents weren't super cool earlier so mine should take priority at Christmas is there a little bit of that like do you think you have the fun family and therefore we should hang out the fun spot on yeah yeah why are we going to like the your parents are so like not talking yeah you're like look i your guys's intuition is flawless yeah right on the spot he just he his his family's giving like christmas eve energy and you're giving like we get christmas morning let's get drunk on Christmas yeah exactly right and I feel like too there's a little bit of because his parents were so strict he kind of was like blobbed onto my family yeah so we hung out with my family a lot and like he quarantined with

us like it was kind of yeah just like he became like more a part of my family than like I was able to become of theirs too yeah and they have little kids still so it's like you know they're kind of we never really got to like fully form the family like he did with us so there's like a little bit of that what a classic line she'll use is that it's like it's like well you're like so close with my family anyway because i am like i ought to be really close with them and so it's like what what's going to do it off your nose? It's like weirdly dismissive. Like, but like my parents gave me life.

I feel like I should. You're like, yeah, fine. You know, whatever though. No, totally.

That's happened. I think that happens a lot. I think often in relationships, there's the, there's like the slightly more fun family. Yeah. It's kind of common. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. If you have two delightful families,. It's kind of common. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I think so. And if you have two delightful families, like that's a win. But that... Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know anybody like that. I don't know anybody who's... And it sounds like your parents are lovely as well.

I don't think... I'm not sitting here going like, his parents sound like they suck. But it just sounds like you guys are more, as you said, like, you you know enmeshed together like you quarantine together which i'm sure is hard for his parents that yeah he didn't quarantine with them and so now they're like christmas forever like we get christmas forever yeah totally but yeah well it's like we adopted him so now he's just we don't what do you mean you're not going to be there at Christmas?

God forbid our now son-in-law, but our daughter. Yeah. Like he, and then, but no, we have to. So like where, like what, how did you guys handle Christmas this year? Well, so we had a cop out because it actually never got resolved because his family all got COVID. Yeah. So we didn't get to hang out with them. So we spent all of the holiday with her family.

So you fought for nothing. We fought for nothing. So it's coming back around at Easter. Yeah. Easter's coming up. Yeah. So, like, I mean, obviously the simple solution is, like, trade. You know?

Yeah. Like, I'm super close with my family. And this Thanksgiving was the first time i haven't gone home in thanksgiving a long time because like natalie's thanksgiving is a big deal for her like like not only her like immediate family or extended family and that was like for me like i'm not saying we'll do that ever thanksgiving but it was like i hadn't really met her like whole family so it like made sense and i was like i'll go do this now it's a little different I'm like I'm older now and like I don't like with you guys still being 24

you're not that far removed from like no still being in the house your parents are there's an expectation of you being there I think when you're like in your early 20s like yeah I'm older now I'm just like just this is what I'm gonna do mom and dad deal with it sorry right yeah yeah and also 25 minutes apart you guys can see them both on Christmas Day yeah which is nice I know that's like a lot for you guys yeah but you do have the option which is like because a lot of people it's are we going to go home to Boston or are we going to stay in Albuquerque? You know, like a lot of people have that issue. So you guys are really fortunate in that your families are so close that even if you're like, we don't really want to pack up this

car and leave one house and go to the next one in the same day, you can do that. Yeah. I think it's, I feel like we were going to say the same thing. I feel like sometimes though, we kind of wish maybe we lived further apart because like, then somehow there's both sides of our family being like, well, we want morning, like we want Christmas morning. And so there's like kind of, it almost makes it like more complicated that we can't be like, oh, well we'll be in, you know, wherever, like across the state. I think i fuel the problem in my flaws because i am very like good christian boy have to please my parents like i like have to like even though you're only 24 you gotta go to 15 years left before you're really

i'm 28 it doesn't get better yeah yeah i think gets a little better. It gets a little better. You just get used to pushing it down. Even though I know that I, like what all her points are valid. It's like, I still have this feeling of like, and maybe I do want to spend the majority of a certain holiday with her family because we have something planned that's going to be fun.

But I still have this feeling in my soul that I'm just like oh no i'm i'm disappointing my family you know same i think with mine yeah and i don't i mean i don't think in this like no one's right or wrong you're like the problem what sucks for you hunter correct me if i'm wrong is that like you also like do have fun with her family so there's that part of you like you said it's like well yeah oh fuck we're gonna like fucking scrabble you know like i don't want to miss scrabble like you know it's okay it's okay our christian families do drink and we don't just play scrabble but whatever it is but there's a bond there that you have yeah but like her points aren't right just because you have fun like they are it's family. I'm sure your parents are fun. You enjoy them. It's like you're pulled between two places. The reason why I asked if you had kids,

and I don't know if this is a crazy solution, but what if? You just have a kid. Well, not only that, but like- And you're like Christmas at our house. Not only that, but like, no, it's just, I think in these situations, because again, both, both parents, both families feel like they're still your kids, which you will always be. And because you don't have kids, it's just like, you're still part of their family traditions and you have yet to like develop your own traditions and i sometimes feel like a great thing that like young couples can do if they will if they're interested to like set kind of boundaries with both parents

is just to be like you know what mom and dad we're doing our own thing this morning and then it's just going to be us and you do your thing and you don't you don't show up to either you let both families know because we're going to start building our own traditions. And yeah, maybe you go in the afternoon or whatever. But I think that this kind of sets a, this is about us. And when we have kids, it's going to be our family. And yeah, we'll eventually bring the kids over or whatever. But like, you know, I come from a large family.

I don't know if you guys know that. And so like, there was just too many fucking, I have 10 siblings. There were too many kids that like, family was at our place. So like my parents just made their own tradition I have 10 siblings. There were too many kids that like family was at our place. So like my parents just made their own tradition and every kind of revolve around them. And I just, even if you don't have kids,

I think you can still say Easter, we're going to do our own thing and celebrate our own thing. And that way, I think parents start realizing they're going to take what they can get. But I think parents have to learn with their kids until their kids finally say, you just have to accept what I'm willing to give you.

Parents will always expect all. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I think parents have to, I think it's a weird thing that parents have to learn. They gave you life. They raised you.

They were like, they were your whole world. And now as an adult, I think it's, I thing that parents have to learn. They gave you life. They raised you. They were like, they were your whole world. And now as an adult, I think it's, I mean, I empathize. I don't know what it is to be a parent, but I can only imagine what it'd be like to realize,

I guess I can't tell you what to do anymore. Fuck. You know, like, and, and all this work they gave you right or wrong, even if it was like some bad advice, they tried their best or whatever version of it.

And I think they just have to learn how to be told no. Setting your own tradition might be a great... It's really early for you guys because you don't have kids. You might as well just go to your... I don't know. It could work. It might be nuts. That's honestly really great advice.

That's really good. I just had a perspective because I'm not in a relationship, but my sister is currently engaged to her high school sweetheart. They've been dating for 12 years. So I've watched this happen every holiday season

of this kind of back and forth because they're both, again, they live close by, which makes it even harder because of the fact that both families want them there. And I would say going along with Nick's thing of kind of putting your feet down

and telling them, no, this is how it's going to happen. I think also there's a benefit to creating a system that works and sticking with it because then it doesn't feel like every time December comes around, it's will they, won't they, when are we here, when are we there to the point now where 12 years later, and maybe this will change when they're married, but I every christmas patrick's gonna come over to our house for the

christmas eve party marissa's gonna go with them because they do christmas eve night with his family then marissa will come back do christmas morning with us he joins us christmas like and it's the same every year so in that way no family is like well they have more time but no this is what we do this is a christmas tradition in and of itself it's them flipping back and forth so and that's kind of similar like basically you just got to start making your guys's rules and then you don't and you just tell them what the rules are yeah there's what we're doing and you guys come up with those rules like together without any input from mom and dad.

I mean, yeah, it's crazy. Cause it's like, I feel like this became like very much like a three party conflict and my parents are like the, now it's like us versus them. And also like parents, if you're listening, we think you're wonderful. We don't want to shit. Yeah. And we, and, and they know that we, I actually got the okay from them. They came down for my birthday yesterday. And, uh, and, uh they know that we, I actually got the okay from them. They came down for my birthday yesterday and, uh, and, uh, we were like, Hey, by the way, we're going to be

talking about something. And they were like, okay. Maybe there's more introverted family than it's that simple, honestly. Yeah. But I think if you guys go into like the kind of scheduling and routine, taking into account what you prioritize and what makes the holidays best for you. And then also thinking about maybe one of your families has a regular tradition or has a party that's really important to them. If you create kind of like a schedule or a tradition of you

that both prioritizes what you enjoy and maybe what's really the most important to each of your families, I think everyone wins. Yeah. And that's so much less stressful, like not guessing like what we're going to do each year. It just makes it so much better. It takes the pressure off of us to even have a conflict in the first place. Cause it's like,

there's not even anything to figure out. It's just like, let's set the standard. And then we, we abide by that, that standard. Maya, have you ever had a one-on-one dinner with your mother-in-law? No. I didn't think so. Would you, what what's that what's that thought look like I feel like it would be fine it would just be weird because it would it's never happened before like I don't think have we ever hung out alone no yeah so it would be a little weird but I think it would be I think it would be pleasant you know it would be a step in the right direction but it might be

I mean I kind of joked brought it up jokingly but like it would probably pleasant. It would be a step in the right direction, but it might be uncomfortable. Well, that's the thing. I mean, I kind of brought it up jokingly, but it would probably go a long way. I mean, I know you guys are joking about it, but there's a grain of truth in the fact that you're, for whatever reason, not as close as you would like to be, certainly with your parents, and that Hunter is with your parents.

And I think that's probably playing a huge role in the sense that like, hey, listen, you're just not as close. It's awkward for whatever reason. And maybe there's that like shit that you got, but like, I think, I don't know. It's like, I think there, it seems like there needs to be some sort of

like awkwardness that you have to break through or not like so much. Maybe you don't listen to this podcast and be like, oh my, we love you. We're so grateful. That'll do it as someone, maybe they'll listen to this podcast and be like, you know, Maya, we love you. We're so grateful. That'll do it.

I know they're probably going to text me and be like, Hey, you're the best, but like, and then maybe you're not, you know, but like, there still seems to be that kind of like,

yeah, I don't want to go and get judged. Yeah. No. Yeah. And I think, yeah, I think there's always been the thing of like,

we both are just very extroverted and are very kind about going and talkative and communicative and they're a little bit more shy and introverted so I always don't want to like push them too much but maybe I should just push them a little bit and I struggle a lot I struggle maybe I should help her in that but I struggle a lot I want to I just don't want to make him uncomfortable. I don't want to. As funny, as ironic as it is that I broke all the rules dating her, I was always a rule follower and I was always doing things. I relate.

Yeah. So that gives me anxiety to do that. And I need to take that shift to be like, okay, this is my wife now. And I should be supporting her and maybe resolving this so we don't have to keep dealing with this every year or every six months, whatever it may be.

Yeah, and they might be relieved. If you guys bring it up, they may be like, oh my God, I'm so glad that you brought this up so we could have this talk. Yeah, because I also think parents too, it's like,

I think they just assume. They assume that my kids should be there. I think most parents, not all, but most parents, I think if they realize they're making, they're giving their kid anxiety from their own selfish needs will feel bad, most. Yeah, most. But yeah, I really think it comes down to you guys being a united front and making your own traditions and even if it's just

in the interim before you like actually just spend Christmas morning alone with your kids or your dog that you just like make up your own set of rules and just let everyone know you don't ask for that might be harder for Hunter than Maya but like this is what we're doing, mom and dad.

I hope it's okay. Yeah, I think that would probably go a long way. Because yeah, holidays are stressful enough to worry about like. Yeah. They really are. Who's going to the Easter egg hunt. Honestly.

Yeah, honestly. Now we'll have to set the precedent before Easter egg happens. Yeah, we've got a couple months to figure that out who you know you you guys go to church i'm assuming right since the pandemic and like not church not really being a thing we haven't really gotten back into it but so when holidays is there a family that expects you guys to go to church with them like what family wants church oh that would be mine yeah yeah but we don't usually go yeah wait your family doesn't

care about church no well there's a layup just give them that way give them church give them church i know yeah yeah you don't have to talk to them during church christmas christmas eve service yeah honestly yeah yeah there's some there's some details there with the like why we avoid that because technically the school we went to was associated with the church I went to growing up. So we try to just avoid that because it's like, yeah. Then we run into everyone from high school. We run into everyone from high school and it's like, but that's apart from it. And it may be worth exploring just for the sake of giving my family a win. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I think that's a good solution. I do have a question for you for audience and I get asked this a lot. I honestly don't like, I'm always like stumped because I just make up an answer, I think, but I don't fucking know. I haven't dated someone that long. How do you guys keep the spark alive? Because I get questions like that all the fucking time. You guys have been dating since freshman year of high school. You seem very much in love. You seem like you're like excited to be around each other.

Like, so how do you do it? Like how I feel like that's an area where you guys can have expertise on staying very interested in one another. Our biggest thing is communication. And now it's like a broken record a little bit, but we talk about this a lot, is that when we feel something, we say it.

And that can be annoying at times, and it can be a feeling that maybe should have been calmed down a little bit before it was communicated. But we tend to err on the side of airing it out. Yeah. Because then we always know who's on what, who's on what page. And so when we get into the conflicts that we get into and we're both are extroverted kind of people, and we, we talk a lot, so it may be harder for more introverted type people to do this,

but with each other and our partnership, we, we always have a good gauge as to where the other person's at. And so when there is a disagreement, it's like, okay, I just need to meet you this far instead of being on the opposite end of the book. And so we just talk everything out. That's really what we do. Can I ask a personal question? Does the sex ever get boring? What do you guys do to keep that spark alive? I feel like it doesn't get boring at all for me. His parents are going to

turn it off. They're answering the question. This whole thing was about his parents. Our parents are definitely going to listen. We give them a heads up. We're like, how's the sex? So they can log off right now. Mom and dad log off. This is a common question with couples who have been dating forever.

And I'm just curious if they have some insight. Well, okay. So we, Maya's resistant. The reason we got a little quiet is because we're resistant to say this because we think people won't believe us. But we waited for marriage. I definitely believe you guys. It's just, I can't, I can't get any more perfect. Yeah. But we, we waited for marriage. I definitely believe you guys. No,

it's just, I can't, I can't get any more perfect. No, it's obnoxious. Like we recognize that it's the least cool thing. Wait, how long have you been married?

Six months. Oh God. You guys are. Oh yeah. So you're not, you're not answering this question. Let me say why. You're not the right person.

No, I want to hear why. Let me say why. So it not the right person to answer this. No, I want to hear why. Let me say why. So it's not because the Bible tells us. It's because our pastor told us. It's because our pastor told us. And God told us. And my parents.

I had dreams about how. So we both have infidelity on both sides of both families. Yeah. And my parents are divorced. Divorce and all this crap and affairs and nonsense, just stuff that was so hard to live through. And for us, it was very clear to us that if we could wait for each other and prove that to the other person, that when we were married and we had years and decades of time together, that it would be no doubt in our mind that we would only have that with each

other because we waited eight years for it. So why would we sacrifice that now? When you say waited, I know I was about to say, like, I mean, you guys got really good at foreplay, right?

But you liked my special, right? You get it. You got all, get it you got all I think you got the whole thing you know yeah yeah yeah

so like we waited right for sure but also we waited but also it was eight years

did you guys ever like cross like a like did you guys like get two feet into the doorway and then walk back out never never the doorway you'd be back out. Never the doorway.

You'd be like, oh, wait, no, I'm sorry. Like, the first time I had sex, like, I was like, did that ever, no. Never the doorway, but we definitely were. We were playing in the lawn, right? We were in the diamond. We were in the diamond. You're like, well, technically, it wasn't all the way in the living room. We didn't have sex.

Which is very impressive. Don't get me wrong still kind of cheating but it's okay it's a little bit of cheating but yeah I just I have friends from high school

who were very religious and they like waited and they came and saw my show I think before I filmed my special and I remember my friend was like we did wait and I said yeah but like

and she was like well yeah no we were doing other stuff I just want to make sure I wouldn't believe us either so yeah honestly we did wait. And I said, yeah, but like, and she was like, well, yeah, no, we were doing other stuff. I just want to make sure. I wouldn't believe us either. Yeah, honestly. I believe you.

I believe you. I just, you know, I want to make sure like, because when you're growing up, this is a very triggering conversation for me. So I, I'm just thinking about like all the youth group conversations

I had with youth pastors who were like, you're only allowed to kiss and your bodies can't touch and your mouth has to be closed and not over 30 seconds. Like, I don't want anybody religious to hear this conversation and be like, it is possible to do absolutely nothing for eight years. That's not a thing, guys. It's not. No, no. Okay. But that's beautiful that you guys waited to have sex. That's really sweet. sweet thank you yeah and and that's why the caveat is necessary because it's just what we chose to do for us and not because i don't think you like have to do that or anything

it was just kind of a like trust thing with us that was good uh you guys uh you're a cautionary tale so the people because like you're too perfect unfortunately for everyone else you are discouraging yeah you are you're the exception of the rule that everyone wants to be

photoshop of couples we were really we were talking about this earlier in the episode about people who had been together for like their whole lives and how we

didn't know if they had great advice or not for people who were dating. And I think they did have really good advice. Well, I think it just depends on what it is. Because people call into our show, obviously, they ask Nick. It's usually some version of some fuckboys in there or some situationship or there's some ghosting or cheating.

How to keep a spark alive, how do you wait, how to prioritize, how to communicate with somebody you've been in a relationship for nine years. That's who I want to keep a spark alive. How do you wait? How to like prioritize how to communicate with somebody in a relation for nine years. That's who I want to go to right there. But like, it just depends on, on, on who it is.

I guess, I think sometimes it's annoying for people to get relationship advice for people who've been like, I married my high school sweetheart and I'll let me tell you how to love. And it's just like, yeah, it's unrealistic. Yeah.

And, and we're happy to be, I guess, a, a, a contrast on the show we were worried we'd come on and be a little too boring so yeah um we're just happy this was good i think this was the perfect fit for me this was very relatable i'm so glad i was here for them

yeah yeah we heard that you were going to be on this one and we were like we'll take that yeah so perfect it was very it was very relatable I think most young couples whether they're married or not deal with this I mean truly like that first first love

you get excited part of like that first love feeling is like we're going to spend our holidays together I want to meet my parents and then it's just like

you're going to come to mine right and they're like but I thought you were going to come to mine and then then all of a sudden it's not so perfect

so I think yeah it's very relatable. But you guys have the benefit of being married. And you guys can... No one can say... That's the hard part for couples that aren't married, that are in your position.

Parents are still then like, you're going to break up. They don't really... Yeah. They respect your relationship until it gets in the way of what they want. Yeah. Parents. Yeah. But because you guys are married, you can... they respect your relationship until it gets in the way of what they want parents but because you guys are married you can set that boundary

and make your own hopefully they respect that boundary I think so I think we're there now now that we have holy matrimony on our side and Nick well Hunter thanks so much for calling you guys are great.

I know if you guys love these two, follow them on TikTok. Yeah, please. Yeah, give us a follow. We're at Maya.and.hunter on TikTok and MayaLaparte on Instagram and HunterLaparte on Instagram. And you can see more of us being like this, I guess, on TikTok. Well, thanks for calling into our mediation. I appreciate it. Thanks for mediating. Appreciate it, Taylor.

Thank you. Allie, thank you. No, it was. Definitely. Definitely. Thanks, guys. All right. Thanks so much.

You guys have a great rest of your day. All right. Bye, guys. All right. Taylor. They're so cute. I can't handle it. That was...

I always love how these all work out you never really know how it's gonna go and it was a real issue yeah that was really sweet that was really good advice

yeah that was really good advice you guys gave too you know you watch your sister date someone for 12 years and it happens

yeah I mean look they would have been fine regardless that's America's sweethearts right there they really I get it now yeah I get it I get why I mean, look, they would have been fine regardless. That's America's sweethearts right there. They really, I get it now.

Yeah. I get it. I get why, you know, why they're so lovable. Taylor, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me. You're an absolute delight. And please remind people when your new special comes out, where they can find tickets, any local shows that you have coming up.

Go to ttomcomedy.com for ticket. And my new special comes out on Netflix March 8th called Look at You. You'll definitely want to miss that. Taylor is an amazing comic if you haven't heard her stuff. And Amanda, she went to a wedding. I'm not going to make you feel bad. But she went to a wedding a couple'm not going to make you feel bad, but she, she, she went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and she texted me. She's like, Hey,

like, is it cool if I like don't make Monday? And I'm like, yeah, sure. No problem. And then I was like, is it cool if I'm virtual on Monday?

And then you, and then you very kindly were like, take the day off, like enjoy the wedding. It was like, it was a long, it was MLK weekend. So the wedding was on like the Sunday night.

And then you were going to come in on the Monday. And then, and Amanda's like, no, I i'm gonna fucking be there and she choked out and then i woke up i feel so bad the day after a wedding i what the girl i was with like i woke her up at like 4 a.m and i was like let's go oh my god i was driving from sacramento oh my god i'm so sorry. This is ideal. This is so much better. I was a shell of a woman that day.

I was running on like three hours of sleep, like the wedding, heebie-jeebies, all that. Oh my God. Well, this is perfect. Honored that you made the drive. I'm sorry that I had to cancel.

Oh, that's so nice. But thank you so much for coming. Thank you. Go check out Taylor's shows. Check out her Netflix special. Follow her on Instagram. At Taylor Tomlinson. At Taylor Tomlinson. much for coming. Thank you. Go check out Taylor's shows. Check out her Netflix special. Follow her on Instagram. At Taylor Tomlinson. At Taylor Tomlinson.

Thanks for listening. Send in your questions at asknickatcastme.com. Cast for the K. Need those mediation calls. I think they go well. So just get your boyfriend or your husband. The women sometimes have a hard time getting the guys. Right, right.

Yeah. But the guys think we're always going to getting the guys. right. Yeah. But the guys the guys think we're always going to pick on them. We never do. Anyway send those questions and

other than that I think see you Monday. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.