The Viall Files - E389 Going Deeper – Deepti & Shaina from Love is Blind Season 2

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

Today we are back with another episode of Going Deeper with The Viall Files,  joined by TWO Love is Blind 2 cast members! We get the scoop from both bombshell interviews, one from Deepti and one from Shaina. With Shaina we ask her about her non-negotiables, if lacking a religion was really a deal breaker for her, and her exclusive reveal of who she may be dating now that the show is over. Next, we interview Deepti and get the scoop on all things Shake. We ask her if his edit was actually kind to him, how he acted off camera, and how his comments about putting a girl on his shoulders reveals a lot more about him. We then have our mediation where our callers struggle when the boyfriend interferes in the mother and daughter relationship. The mom finds it hard to know where to stand when she and daughter fight. He wants to know when to step in and how he can give the daughter advice without her resenting him. We also dive into various topics, such as The Weeknd’s steamy make-out session and John Mulaney’s daughter.  “There’s a time to be right and a time to be quiet.” Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [e-mail] to be a part of our Monday episodes.  Check out our new "Introvert" merch at http://www.viallfiles.com today! THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at http://www.BetterHelp.com/ViallFiles Wondery: Listen to Even the Rich and Rich and Daily on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. Episode Socials:  @viallfiles @nickviall @lifewithdeeps @shaina.hurley @loveisblindnetflix See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're crazy what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of the vile files going deeper follows going deeper edition and do we have a doozy episode for you today a lot of love is blind to discussions mostly because we have dare i say america's sweetheart joining us this episode shana deep d well shana will be joining us as well. Yeah, it's interesting. When I posted that Deep D would be joining us, a lot of excitement around us having that discussion. I, too, am thrilled to have Deep D. What a great moment for her on the finale of Love is Blind 2.

People more on the fence with Shana. She definitely rubbed some people the wrong way, but it's only fair that we learn about her. Also, we have some questions for Shana. I know I have some questions. Was it really the religion? Come on. I don't know.

I'm not so sure. Why did you just leave in the middle of the night? You know, stuff like that. Would you want to like, is there anything going on with Shane? Maybe a reconnection or rekindling? They definitely tease a lot of these relationships. Like there are maybe, maybe there's some other going on with other couples. There's rumors about Deep D and is it Salvador?

I think it's Sal. I saw a photo of the two of them kind of like cheek to cheek. Maybe they took a picture. I don't know. But we have to ask the question. We have to ask the question. We have both of those ladies on. Excited to talk to them both.

And before we have them on, I think we must well first we'll we have some other pop culture things i think that are burning and we need to just discuss as well as covering a more kind of intimate breakdown of just love is blind in general let's do that before we get a chance to to talk to both of of these ladies. What do we got on the, what else is going on in the world of pop culture and society? In the world. Sure. So I don't know if we all recall the John Mulaney divorce situation. It was very public, very messy. And it was shortly after, it just felt like there was one thing after another. It was like,

first he's getting divorced. He's going to rehab. Now he's dating Olivia Munn. Now she's pregnant. But Olivia Munn shared a very, very sweet photo of John Mulaney and their son at SNL this past Saturday. And it seems like things are going shockingly well. Did anybody else see this coming? I feel like everybody else was like. Did you think, what, it would end in a tragedy?

I think I thought it would end in a bit of messiness. Still might. But I guess that's my question is I think so often, of course, having a newborn is incredibly stressful. And having kids is not lauded as a big solution for relationship issues. But it's clearly a connective force. It really unifies people. It's a distraction from other common enemy i would hate to who's the common i was joking about like a baby that's not sleeping but obviously you love your child very very much was was olivia munn using her baby for uh sympathy

because she was kind of public enemy number did we we blame more John Mulaney or Olivia Munn for the homewrecker? Because it was... We don't know timing, but when it all came out, it was like divorce. Oh, we're like... I found out they were together moments later. It felt like moments.

Also, society likes to always blame the woman and not the man in these situations. I'm asking you, the ladies. I feel like it's more up to him and he gets the blame if there was any crossover than her. She wasn't married. He was. If I'm her, if I'm John Mulaney's ex,

I blame John Mulaney. Yeah, as you should. People all the time, I'm in questions. Every week I get some sort of question that's like, I'm in love with a buried man or something like that like what should i do and i'm always pretty hard on them but like they're definitely not off the hook in terms of like regardless character choices yeah regardless of like shadiness it's also a matter of like strategically like you're gonna this man fresh out of a divorce and rehab like you think now is the time to cultivate

a relationship with him and then they got pregnant like what felt like moments later after that yeah that can't have been planned I don't know who's to say but anyways

but the fact that now they have a baby we're all kind of like oh they're like yay family gotta pivot real quick I hope they're doing great

for everyone's sake for for for john and mostly the kid but uh glad that everything's going well and and and what's i i what's john's ex name i hate calling anna marie anna marie i don't want to keep referring her to her as the ex she's more than just john i my favorite thing was she when she posted on instagram in the heat of kind of when all the divorce rumors were spilling, this like extremely artful photo of her sitting alone at a dinner table, like clearly waiting for something, waiting for someone. And the caption was dinner in March. And it was like, oh, this man did you dirty.

Like it was just a really, really like evoc evocative, like, it was like art on Instagram. Yeah. I can't say I'm rooting for John and Olivia. I'm not rooting against them, but I'm not, they're definitely not someone I'm just like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, well, because I feel like Twitter made the point of, like, John Mulaney's famously a wife guy.

His whole stand-up thing was like, I'm a wife guy. I'm good, I'm polite, I'm respectful, and I'm good at office politics. watching him then like turn around and like discard his wife now he's just another fuck boy another fuck boy yeah another fuck boy who's flew too close to the sun um speaking of potential fuck boy moves a video surfaced last week of The Weeknd making out with Sibi, who is famously Bella Hadid, The Weeknd's ex, friend or former friend. They're not friends anymore? Well, they stopped following each other on Instagram back in April of 2021. We know how we feel about that.

So, yeah, exactly. So it's like it seems like they were on the outs. But nevertheless, there is certainly a period of time where the two women were good friends and now there's a video of her hooking up with Bella's ex what do we think about is it ever okay to hook up with a friend or former friend's ex is there ever a time like or a scenario where high school it's okay in high school I feel like yeah I had this conversation with a girlfriend yesterday and we were trying to see who we had crossovers with and it was really only one guy that we'd both slept with and neither of us care like we just operate from like we wouldn't care if 90% of the people we

slept with exactly we were talking about how there's a difference so it's like it depends on the relationship I think because I really don't care I'm like you know get it but if there's like a history maybe then not so much you know it's weird because like I I had three very serious relationships in my 20s I believe they're all they're all married right but let's say one of them got separated or divorced and I found out like a friend of mine from back in the day or i guess a friend one of my friends got divorced and they like got together it would be weird yeah i bet i would be mad you know what i'm saying it's so far removed from me at this point but yeah like i think in adulthood and and bella hadid in the weekend like they dated for a while. It was a relationship.

Yeah. I think it's a very taboo move. It also kind of begs the question with a friend like what were you thinking when I was dating this person? Like were you secretly like harboring feelings for them

or just like I don't know. I feel like it just like calls. Yeah. I get you can go there but like I mean sure. Like you know attractive people. They dated for three years on and off i feel like then he's off limits yeah that's too long especially the on and off part yeah because if you date

someone on and off there are periods in which you still obviously have feelings and feel connected but they're a free agent and that makes you wonder could there have been something going on when you were in the off period was your friend maybe not really and who do you go to when you're like on the off with your you go to your friends and confide and and meanwhile she's just like like then that's even that's that's real that's real shady it's not a good look are there are there scenarios in which I guess it can be okay? Sure. I mean, time, really. But I guess if the girls aren't friends anymore,

if they unfollowed each other in April of last year, maybe then it's like we're all strangers. They're not friends. So I guess then you're just like, I don't care, we're not friends. So I feel like maybe at this point, they're just all three free agents. No't care. We're not friends. So I feel like maybe at this point, there are just three free agents. No, but I guess it could be playing into,

is this even a move out of spite too? Right. Because the friendship ended. Yeah, because I feel like if you hook up with a friend's ex, you're sort of saying, I am prioritizing this. I guess it really, unless...

It's like, I never want to be friends with her again. Yeah, it's sort of saying, I'm prioritizing me. I guess it really, unless that's like, I'm never want to be friends. Yeah. It's sort of saying I'm prioritizing like me getting this over our friendship, unless it's a unique situation in which for like your friend has been made it explicitly clear that you're totally fine with it and comfortable with it.

Yeah. I don't think, I don't know anything about Bella Hadid, but I'm guessing that she didn't like give them their blessing. Take care of your mental health. It's maintenance. Maintenance is the key to anything.

Maintain your happiness, your wellbeing. And if you are stuck in a rut, it's also amazing for that too. Finance problems, anxiety, relationship problems, friends, family. BetterHelp is helping people connect with mental healthcare professionals easier and better than ever.

You could be talking to a therapist within 48 hours from going to the website. Bam. So many people have thought about therapy, and then they've tried to find a therapist, and it was like challenging, and how do I do it, and where do I go? Well, you can do it from the comfort of your home, on a tablet, on your phone, on a computer, and they will make sure they get you someone that fits with you, your needs.

They have so many therapists in their network that work with BetterHelp. Over 2 million people are taking charge of their mental health with BetterHelp, and you can too. Right now, you get a special offer being a Vile Files listener. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash vile files. That's better, H-E-L-P. Visit betterhelp.com slash V-I-A-L-L-F-I-L-E-S. That's better H-E-L-P help.com slash V-I-A-L-L-F-I-L-E-S. If you haven't listened to the Janet Jackson, even the rich podcast, well, you are missing out. I

mean, Janet Jackson, a legend in the music space. Janet Jackson was torn to shreds by the media, setting up unfortunate trend for the way many female celebrities in 2000 were treated. Who was to blame for this mishap? Even the rich has the whole story. What an illustrious career she had. And it came to a screeching halt during that very infamous 2004 Super Bowl. And a lot of people involved in that situation. and it came to a screeching halt during that very infamous 2004 Super Bowl. And a lot of people involved in that situation,

and yet it was only Janet Jackson who seemed to have to pay the price. Well, learn more about that whole situation and her influence she had on people like Madonna, Mariah Carey, and even her brother. Fascinating series, Wander, Even the Rich, and the Janet Jackson story might be their best one yet. Listen to Even Rich daily on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app. So let's talk about Love is Blind 2

before Shana and Deep D call in. Let's talk about basically the rest of the cast and the situations. Nick and Danielle Let's talk about basically the rest of the cast and the situations. Nick and Danielle. I don't know why. They're my favorite couple. Really? Not because I...

Who knows what's going to happen? Should they be together? Should they not? I don't know. But I did find them to be the most entertaining. What did you think about the conversation that she had with her girlfriends on the like bachelorette boat of her being like, I need to work on myself first. And her friend was

like, if you wait until you're perfect and like you're at your best, you know, like you're going to be out of time to like find someone like you don't need to be at your best before you're in a relationship. That's what you find. Like, I just thought it was an interesting back and forth. Sure. And that's, I think it's a common thing people talk about you know it's also like an excuse people can use to get out of a relationship the big question is is Danielle in a situation where uh it won't affect their relationship you know yeah and it kind of goes back to the idea of like with dating like you want to be yourself as much as you feel like you need to put on this performance and be this like perfect version you want to be the most much as you feel like you need to put on this performance and be this like perfect version you want to be the most authentic version

of yourself because you want informed consent on both parties and so if you're going to be yourself but you're also trying to grow so much like where's the interplay in terms of like trying to break a pattern and evolve emotionally versus because I think I think it seems like there was kind of like Nick at times felt like the rug was being pulled out from under him. Like I think especially considering their initial conversations that they had in the pods versus the way they like instantly started fighting. I think he was sort of like. Didn't she also make a comment even like on their wedding morning that she was like, yeah, we've discussed what we should do. And, you know, Nick thinks that I should say no.

No, she definitely. It's like this endearing thing that she does where she like says things out loud. She will, she will audibly say these like kind of insecurities that she has. Many of us will just like keep it to ourselves. Um, we have, we all have crazy insecure thoughts, but like that's nuts. Where Danielle either she doesn't know it's nuts or she just says it anyways like and then i don't know if it's because she's trying to test nick and like listen this is a crazy atmosphere there they are in it would make sense that anyone

in this atmosphere where they not engagement like it's one thing to get engaged on The Bachelor as opposed to getting married. It's a totally different scenario. And it would make sense, whether it's right or wrong to do, to see how much you can push someone to see how they react. I mean, I don't know if Danielle's doing it out of like any type of,

almost like in the strategic Machiavellian way. But we always talk about like you don't really know who you're dating until like you have a fight and see how they handle fights. So maybe Danielle's like, you know, I'm gonna fucking pick a fight and just see how this guy fucking fights. I mean, it's kind of smart. I mean, I don't know if that was her intention. And also, I didn't love how Nick always responded. It wasn't bad, but you could tell he got a little snippy and frustrated and would calm down. But then you wonder, man, it's just such a pressure cooker of a situation.

They did always seem to figure it out, though. And it's interesting how couples that had a very smooth entrance to the show the way that they encountered fighting and like sort of turbulence in the relationship later on versus couples like shane and natalie i would argue danielle and nick like even in mexico she he went to that party alone and out of nowhere she was picking this whole yeah i mean like the pods though like before like when you like the part of the experiment where you're like conceptualizing like what you think this person is before you've like been in the room with them seen their demeanor seen what like the everything i think it's interesting i feel like they because they

just had such a fast beautiful love story in that sense i wonder how much of it was like them kind of being tied to the like, we're a fairy tale. I'm like, I want this to be a fairy tale. We're a fairy tale, right? I think for all the couples, they dealt with that. I mean, like I said, me personally, I was fascinated with Love is Blind because it was kind of like a show about what it's,

in a lot of ways, like to get engaged on The Bachelor and make it to AFR. You know, that behind the scenes that you don't get to see, because all we see is we're in love and the Instagram. But dating after they get engaged, there's a lot of stresses that come from the show. And clearly, I think it was kind of obvious that a lot of the stresses that these couples were experiencing was the pressure of the wedding and just being in this experiment, as they called it. If Nick and Danielle could just go date, maybe they didn't fight about any of this stuff. It's a big struggle. So I hope for them they work on it.

I am happy to announce, I mean, nothing's set in stone, but we've been told that we will get Nick and Danielle for a mediation next Wednesday on our Going Deeper episode. So we hope that follows through. We've been told that they have something they are fighting about and they want to ask me about it. So I cannot wait. Guys, our podcast is really popping off.

Well, I hope that the people listening think as much. But I'm personally excited. I was like, I want to mediate a fight that these guys are having. So hopefully, I think it's going to happen. We were told it's going to happen. We have Shayna and Deep D coming up. A lot of questions for Shayna. We have to discuss the shake of it all,

in which Deep D has a lot to say about all that. Eye-opening stuff from Deep D. Were you surprised by any of our answers? Absolutely. So was I. But before we get to Deep D, we're going to talk to Shana. A lot of you have a lot of thoughts and opinions

about Shana, as did we. Why did she leave Kyle the way she did? How religious is she? Things like that. Is there anything going on with her and Shane? What's next?

So let's hear it from Shana. And after that, we will get into the conversations about Shake. What's up, Shana? How you doing? I'm good, Nick. How are you? Good. Thanks for joining us.

We are excited to have you. I feel like there are a lot of burning questions people want answered from you. I'm sure. Yeah. Well, how do you, I mean, let's start with her. How do you feel about your experience? I mean, as someone, you know, reality TV, you know, there's posts, there's edits, you know, there's heroes, there's people who get criticized. You've gotten some, like, you know, there's posts, there's edits, you know, there's heroes, there's people who get criticized. You've gotten some, like, you know, you've gotten some criticism and I'm just wondering what is your perspective on your experience? And we'll, we'll start there. I'll be honest. The experience was actually, um, once in a lifetime, obviously it was a great

experience. Um, I do feel my true character technically really wasn't portrayed in the best, but again, um, there's so much that was not caught on film behind the scenes. And so, because there's so many hours of filming, they weren't able to get all of it. Sure. So unfortunately I, and definitely, I know I'm definitely being portrayed as the villain, which sucks, but I guess it's what you sign up for. You'll live. I promise. I'll live.

What is one thing in terms of what you think the perception of you is versus who you think you are? What do you think is the, what's the biggest disconnect? The biggest disconnect would definitely be the fact that i was a homewrecker trying to ruin shane and natalie's relationship when that wasn't the case at all like um because there was so much off film the whole like beach scene the ship with shane had sailed way back weeks prior in the pod and so i think the way because everything wasn't able to be put into the episodes. No one got to see the true story. So it definitely appeared that I was like trying to break them up.

And that was not the case at all. Why did you leave Kyle? Why did you leave in the middle of the night? Or at least it sure seemed like you're like, you know what? Peace. And he woke up and you were, and you were gone.

Yeah. It looked like you ghosted him is is that uh is that not what happened no no no no i would not just leave him in mexico um unfortunately why i left wasn't on film so they weren't able to show that why did you leave when i was i was very honest with kyle and i had told him, like, I can't do this. This is just, again, it shows I broke up with him for a reason. And I had explained that to him in Mexico. And I just, I wanted to go home.

I was kind of overt at that point. And I just needed to see my family again. Like, we weren't able to see them for about three weeks. And so I had no outside influence. And I was just honest. I just said, I was like, I'm so sorry. Like, this isn't't gonna work for me like I can't do this and so that's why I left so you you you told him that before you left

yes of course okay of course I don't know it's her I was like she's leaving it did not help my uh my portrayal of my character at all unfortunately it wasn't on film and so it looked like I totally ghosted Kyle I didn didn't. So you talked about, you told him the reason why. And a lot of that seemed, there seemed to be a lot of focus on religion. I grew up very religious. I'm a religious guy. And I'll be honest, I didn't totally buy it. It just felt like, not that I'm doubting your religious or your faith, that it might not be quite the non-negotiable that it seemed to be portrayed as where it was like, hey, listen, you're not in a God, so I can't date you. Where if it was like, say someone else that maybe you felt more vibes with or were more interested in, you might have been a little bit more open-minded to

their lack of faith-based life. What would you say to that? Oh, that's a good question because I've actually been hearing that a lot. And people are like, oh, Shane wasn't religious and look at, she was after Shane. And I will reiterate, they didn't get to show it, but when we were in the pods, I had said, like, what is your view on it? And he goes, I believe in God. He goes, I go to church probably, what, four times a year, but I'm not a very religious person. And he goes, and he told me, he goes, if my wife is a person of faith, I'm going to support her. So Shane had put that up front right away.

Kyle was, it didn't show it he just was not gonna budge on that and so it wasn't necessarily like I need a religious crazy Christian like off the deep end I've been there done that I was just in a point where I had to have someone at least believes you know what I'm saying is open to it Kyle had changed his mind but it was already a little too late because it wasn't just the faith thing that was definitely the foundation of it not being able to work but there was unfortunately a lot seen that was not shown of kyle that had happened and such as i am not going to stay right now um i know everyone already is like out to out everybody i'm not like that i I'm going to keep it private.

But there's a bunch of character flaws. You're kind of implying that you would talk shit if you felt comfortable, that there's shit to talk. Yeah, but I'm not going to portray it to the world. And again, it doesn't matter. It's moot at this point. It just wasn't for you. Yeah, there's just other character flaws that I saw that i did not want in my husband and unfortunately that was not shown

on the show because again there were such limited to how many how many hours this uh show is but it wasn't shown of like other reasons why but religion it wasn't i hate the word religion also i'm more of a person of like relationship okay clearly i'm not the perfect Christian. And that wasn't the only reason. It was just at the end of the day, it was just the deal breaker. I get it. Whether you're going to church every Sunday or four times a year, if that's how you want to raise your kids, are you still believing God? And if you're dating an atheist who maybe is not only unwilling to go, but even mocks the fact that you believe that would be a challenge. Exactly. There is such a lack of respect. You know what I'm saying? And don't get me wrong.

I love everybody. I have so many friends that are atheists, but there's a mutual respect there. And Kyle did not respect me at the end of the day, but that wasn't shocking. I almost felt like he was mocking your beliefs. Yeah, 100%. Thank you for saying that because that's exactly how I felt. And help me like fill in the timeline too because I actually like criticized Kyle for this

because it came across as, well, weird at best, but after you broke up with him and you ghosted him, or it looked like you ghosted him and and you uh are in chicago he was just like well i'll just go back to chicago and it's like he didn't understand that you broke up and i think i don't know if that played a role in like this edit or whatever but it was kind of bizarre how bizarre how it's almost surprising to hear you tell us that you actually very clearly sat him down or said, hey, this is not working for me. I'm going to go. How many times or different ways I could show that it wasn't going to work and I'm the one who's getting criticized, which I will omit.

that it wasn't going to work and I'm the one who's getting criticized, which I will all make. But just to be clear, you specifically said, Kyle, I'm done. Because how did you guys, how did you introduce him to your parents then? Because he's like giving this interview, like this ITM, this in the moment interview of being, it was kind of, I forgot his, like, I don't remember exactly what he said, but it came across as delusional in the sense of like, I was like, bro, at the time we didn't know that you broke up with him. You just left.

But even still, it's kind of like- The writing's on the wall. It was like, I don't think she likes you, man. And he kind of had this, well, I'll just make it work. I'll get her to see what she just sees. Let's just give her some space. It was kind of like this weird, not understanding energy, but it's even more weird now after hearing you say that you actually specifically told him, I want to break this off and I'm done. Yeah. I said, I couldn't do it. I like, I needed, I'm like, I can't do this whole situation.

Again, my biggest, this is what I do own. And I could have avoided a lot further drama and mess and like chaos that I do not need. As if I should have just said no to Kyle and followed my gut and I didn't. And so- In the pods or later on? When he proposed, well, because even before he proposed, I was like, I don't know how this is going to work. And again, I was trying to be open-minded because this was an experiment.

This was like, what, 10 days of like, people were acting like this was like years. And like, again, this was 10 days in the pods. I had said like, I don't know if this is going to work. And then I don't know if you know, but like during the reveal, I had intention. I'm like, you know what? I don't know if we should be doing this.

And when I saw him, it was like, oh my God, this is real. My parents are going to freak out. Not that like my parents are like, I'm going to do what I'm going to do, but it just was very, even more real when I saw him in the flesh. And then like, I was trying to stay open-minded and I like, didn't want to hurt him. And it sounds so stupid, but I just should have said, no, I should have said no. Yeah. You're caught up in the moment. I get it. How, I will say watching it, like, you know, again, obviously a lot of my reality TV experience comes from being on The Bachelor. You know, right.

Sure, but it's also just a very different show. And as watching it, I was wondering, I totally can understand how any sort of controlled environment, and the pods are a very controlled environment, can elicit these crazy emotions. I can buy that. But how much, and again, maybe for you, and you alluded to it, and I'm sure you've talked to a lot of your castmates and peers, how much of the engagement was, I'm truly in love? And how much of it was like, I don't know, fuck it.

Let's, let's just continue the experiment and see what happens. Because some, like, I thought it was fascinating. The show like specifically had you guys refer to it as an experiment, which I thought was kind of fascinating. Right. Cause on The Bachelor, they call it a journey and they're, they don't even pretend that it's weird. Like, they're just like, no, this is normal. And at least love is blind. They're like, no, this is clearly a weird experiment, which I thought brought a level of sanity to it. But nevertheless, I'm curious, how many people do you think said yes to an engagement more based off of just continue the experiment rather than like i would i want to get engaged oh that's a good question i think

half the couples were truly like falling in love okay i do i remember because i was really close to danielle and nick both of them like nick was one of my like podpesties and so we would purposely put each other as our top three just so we could talk like conspiracies like life news like everything and um i was encouraging the whole time because i saw them both really falling in love and i was like oh my gosh like this is amazing so that's definitely an example i'm really curious about that because so you developed this like friendship with Nick and you couldn't see them. Why, why didn't that turn into like any type of romantic feelings? Yeah. Cause like, what was it? Really funny. So, okay. I'm not kidding you. Me, I was just with Nick and Danielle yesterday and we were laughing because Nick, the first day was like, oh yeah, I've been to your church. He goes, Shana, I will never be that guy. I'm like putting a friendship, like right away. He just knew that

I was not, he was not the guy that I was going to be wanting for my husband. And so it was immediately like he friend zoned. It was, it was really funny. And so we were like, well, we enjoy talking to each other. It's definitely a friend vibe though. And so it was, yeah, it was just one of those things. Interesting. Interesting. Who do you hang out with? Nick and Danielle. Who else are you close with?

I love Deeps. She's amazing. It was hilarious because we just filmed the reunion and it sucks because like we genuinely all like each other, right? It's just obviously drama and like filming got in the way. But yeah, I definitely, I still talk to Deeps. I'm really close with Danielle and Nick. um we talked to every mallory honestly everyone's great i have a question um because you said you didn't want to stir the pot you don't want to spill the tea would you ever at any point or is this just like so far behind you now that you're

never gonna give us the juicy i i teeter-totter every day but i'm just i just want to take the high road and i just like Again, I was not portrayed in a good light at all. I just want to move forward and we'll see if people get to know the real me, but I don't know yet. I think I'm going to keep it private though right now. Does this make sense? I probably don't make sense right now. A little wishy-washy. I appreciate the moral conflict. know people spill tea they sometimes get praised for it people spill tea and sometimes they're exactly i think i'm just in a negative light it doesn't matter what i say because it's not going to change anybody's opinion and that's

okay it's none of my business what people think of me and there's no there's no you and shane possibilities no no no, no, no. We were like, again, like we were like, they definitely like, it was definitely shown to be dragged on much longer than what it really was with Shane. Me and Shane were like cordial friends. We're cool, but that's it.

Why did Kyle meet your family? That's a good question. When we got back to Chicago, I agreed to meet up with them. And again, it wasn't shown why, but he was just like, it was kind of like one of those things where I'm like, okay, am I giving it all during this experiment? And I go, I know when my family will meet him, it will confirm what I need to do. Does that make sense? And it was kind of like, let me meet your family. Let me do this. You know what I'm saying? And I'm like, okay, which is a big deal to me.

And looking back on it, I don't bring men home just to meet. That's a serious thing to me. And so it was one of those things where I'm like, okay, if he meets my family, I know what I'm going to have to do. So it was kind of like a confirmation. Yeah. Well, you already did it, but you were almost one of that kind of validation from your family, it sounds like. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. That you.

Exactly. Exactly. Made the right decision. Yes. We have a chance to talk to Deep D, but a lot of the conversations are going on around Shake and Deep D's ending and more specifically the comments that Shake made throughout the season i think a lot of people and maybe you can confirm this or not but like a lot of people suspected that you also

weren't physically attracted to kyle and yet you you chose not to elaborate on that and shake did and it's like it's this weird thing right because the show love is blind there's this conversation around how much does physical appearance matter and shake decided to what seemed like every episode comment about dp's physical appearance and what was the reason well a was did your physical attraction or lack thereof in Kyle play a role in your decision? And if so, what was your reason not to get into that if that was the case? Was it for the same reasons why we are now criticizing Shake for what he did? That's a good question. And actually, I've been asked that before.

Can I be honest with you? It actually had nothing to do with his physical appearance at all. I don't think Kyle's a bad-looking guy at all. And again, I think someone's personality. It's his preference. Yeah. It's his preference. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I actually, again, if someone can make me laugh and have a good personality and have a good character and heart, that plays way more. You know what I'm saying? Don't get me wrong. You have to have some physical attraction. But that wasn't the case with Kyle. Okay. So it just wasn't the case. Yeah. but that didn't that wasn't the case with kyle okay so it just wasn't the case and or do you

have any thoughts on the the shake and deep d situation on like how shake handled it so it sucks because like i don't know what happened that they didn't show so i don't know if there was more to the the situation but from what i saw, it's sad because Deepti is such a beautiful person. I don't want to judge Jake because again, people have judged me and it wasn't the case at all, but he's blatantly vocal about how he handled things with thieves and like how he felt like the whole attraction thing. It's just sad because Deepti is such a beautiful soul and she just deserves, like honestly, she deserves the world. Any, any final thoughts? Uh,

what, anything you want to say in terms of, uh, you know, leaving our audience with, uh, the Shana's final, final thoughts on,

on the world? There are so many more than just like a third. Um, there's a lot I could say, but again, I just want people to know that the character was, that was portrayed. It was not me. And I'm not a homewrecker and just be kind to people you have no idea until you go through

reality television and i definitely be humbled and i will never judge another reality star ever again well that's final thoughts and are you single dating what's your what's what's next for your love life i'm actually in a relationship. It's pretty serious. Yeah. Not from the Love is Blind cast? No. No, no, no, no, no.

He's been awesome. Nothing but a support. He's been great throughout the whole situation. So I'm happy. That's good. So he didn't get into, this experience didn't alter the relationship at all? No, actually. I was laughing.

I'm like, what a time to be in a relationship. Those men sliding through the DMs. Are you getting the slides? A lot of pro English soccer players. Oh, Ali's jealous of you. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, you could be a wag.

I got you, girl. Feel free to forward them along. I got to say, starting a relationship like you are, Shaina, all while this is getting aired, it's quite the test of a relationship. I mean, you're going through this kind of emotional crisis a little bit, right? It's been a crisis. And it's tough to be a partner with anyone going through an emotional crisis for anything. And then he doesn't know you all that well. And yet it seems like this is the relationships. It could be a nice test for it.

Yeah, it's 100%. I don't want to take for granted what you're going through while starting a nice test for it. Because yeah, it's not easy. I don't want to take for granted what you're going through while starting a relationship. All right. Well, Shana, thank you so much for joining us. I appreciate it. Best of luck on your relationship.

Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to me. Oh, my pleasure. Thanks for coming on. And hopefully the people listening, you have just a little more empathy for Shana. Thank you. Stay out of her DMs if you don't have anything nice to say.

The DMs have been nicer than the comments. I'll tell you that much. But anyway, it's fine. All will be well. This too shall pass. Well, best of luck. Thanks for being a good sport and answering all our questions. Thank you, guys.

Thanks for listening to me. All right. Take care. All right. Well, that was Shana. What are your two's reactions to hearing Shana's answers to some of our questions? Do you have a little bit more empathy or understanding? What were your thoughts?

I thought it was very humanizing. Yeah. I thought it was wild that we got an exclusive that she's in a relationship. She is dating. It's exciting. You heard it here first. Good an exclusive that she's in a relationship. She is dating. It's exciting. You heard it here first. Good for us. We're like a newspaper.

Breaking news. But yeah, I mean, she seems like a normal person. And I thought it was so interesting that she did not want to get down the weeds and really expose anything because of how she's been treated by people watching the show. I just thought that was an interesting, like she could very much be like, F everybody. Like I've gone through the ringer. Let me expose everyone else.

But instead she's very much like, no, not going to go there. It kind of implied that she thought Kyle was kind of a jerk, right? Yeah. I mean, it implied that there was shit to be stirred.

Yeah. Or that it was more two sided than it was ever presented. Yeah. Cause I mean the way it was presented, like I said, said it was it was presented that she left in the middle of the night in the night and then showed up tried to break up shane and natalie and and then i really thought that whole kyle i thought that was weird on kyle for him to and it's even more weird now after hearing shana because it kind of gave an uncomfortable like she broke up with you dude why are you not like acknowledging that and it wasn't

and it wasn't like because when they aired Kyle it wasn't like oh I want to talk to her and see if she's willing to give me another shot it was more like she just doesn't know it yet. I just have to give her some time. She'll come around. It was a very, it was weird energy. I thought, I don't know if anyone else picked up on that.

All right. And up next, the interview, I think most of you have been waiting for the wonderful Deep D. I like to think of her as America's current sweetheart.

A lot of questions that we have for her around Shake in terms of has she talked to him since? current sweetheart. A lot of questions that we have for her around Shaq in terms of has she talked to him since? Has he apologized for anything? What was it like watching it back? What was it like watching him back?

You know, maybe maybe maybe it wasn't as bad as we saw, you know, like we talked to to Shayna, you know, maybe Dipty even has I don't know maybe empathy for Shana. We don't. I think it'll be a very telling her answers. So let's get to Deepti.

Deepti, welcome. Hi, thanks for having me. We're so excited to have you. I guess first question, how does it feel to be America's sweetheart? Honestly, I'm in awe that that's the impression I'm giving out to the world or America. But I mean, honestly, I'm honored. I'm honored that I got that title. I don't feel like I deserve it because I'm just a regular person just being myself, but it's pretty cool. It was enjoyable watching your journey, especially at the end. I mean, at times it was challenging watching your journey too, just because it seemed like just tough to watch just the way we got to see things from Shake. There's been a lot of comments and opinions about that relationship from the time it started to how

it finished. But I wanted to start with, where are you at with your point of view with your relationship with Shake from the time you started watching it to the finale? What was that like for you? And how are you feeling now? I think tough is a good word to use because after filming had wrapped, I was under the impression

that we could at least, you know, celebrate this friendship that we built because we've gone through something so insane and like no one else understands. So, you know, I thought I could build this friendship with him and I tried that. And, you know, as the days unfolded after filming had wrapped, I just started to see more of his true character. And, you know, as the days unfolded after filming had wrapped, I just started to see more of his true character. And, you know, every time I hung out with him, he had an issue with at least one person in the room. And, you know, it was just tough. You know, he was very outward about his dating. And, you know, we had just ended this, you know, engagement, essentially.

So it was kind of tough. And I distanced myself. And before the show aired, we weren't that close. I didn't really talk to him much anymore. But after watching it unfold, I mean, oh, man, it's so upsetting to see. Because I thought this was my friend. And you don't talk about your friend this way, let alone your fiance. It's one thing if someone's not physically attracted to you, but how you talk about them and what you say to your

friends and family makes a huge difference. I think it solidifies that my approach of leaving him alone and letting him live his life is the best choice that I ever made. Yeah. So I didn't even know. So after the wedding, after you decided to choose yourself, which we loved, by the way, I mean, my favorite moment was the shot of your mom. Before she even came to you, you saw her pride. It was so transparent. It was so awesome. And so tell your mom, we said, hi hi we love that from your mom but so I'm almost surprised to hear you say that even after that there was

an attempt for you guys to still be in each other's lives afterwards. Yeah we wanted to celebrate our unique love story even if it was just a friendship you know because we went through such a bonding experience and you know of course I wanted to maintain a relationship of some sort with him because we have this bond. But yeah, it was just hard and tumultuous because just seeing how he acts on social media.

And even in person, I was like, wow, how could I have been so wrong about someone's character? so wrong about someone's character yeah so what did you get a head up a heads up from production or the show at all in terms of what you might expect to watch but because like you know it was interesting watching it right the show is called love is blind right so so much of the premise is about like making a connection with someone you don't get to see and there's this kind of clearly unspoken thing of what are these two people going to think or feel about each other when they see each other you know being on a reality anytime a reality tv show like the audience can be very critical that people will make comments and i remember like going on and people would make comments about my hair or my appearance or like i i created a lot of like insecurities when i was like, I never thought I had any insecurities about this stuff. And I was like, oh my God, I'm hideous. But it wasn't what you expected, but the way he continued to beat it,

did you get any heads up at all? Or did you have to watch that? Like we watched it in real time on the show. Yeah, I watched it in real time. I mean, I knew like to my face, he would say, I'm not physically attracted to you. He would. Yeah, and I mean, not in those harsh of words, he would just say,

oh, we're lacking chemistry or there's something missing between us. He kind of sugarcoated it. But then when he would talk behind my back and I had no idea, I watched it with the rest of the world and I was so disappointed. Honestly, there are no words and I'm pretty sure he got a good at it. So, Oh, I'm, I've heard from castmates that he said way worse. Um, and you know, I think, yeah, he got a really good at it. So if that says something, it says a lot. How many of your castmates do you talk to? And like, I think a lot of one, one conversation people had a tough time with was

a shakes conversation with, with Jarrett. It was kind of like this awkward thing and quite on, it didn't seem like Jarrett was kind of laughing along with shake. And it was kind of a bad look on Jarrett. In fact, if anyone, for all the kind of, you know, Shane's gotten some heat, but when Shane and shake talked, Shane was kind of like, bro. and in a weird way had tried to get him to like change his approach to his relationship with you did you have any exceptions or take any exceptions to some of the other guys or cast mates that shake was talking to yeah honestly um all of the cast had my back with shake they they kind of saw the type of person he was and i think the editing kind of showed jared in a weird like laughing mood there but jared actually specifically pulled me aside

and was like i don't think you should marry him he doesn't speak highly of you and uh shane the whole time protected me so um i'm thankful for the cast and you know they just had my back because they saw that i was a good person i i actually cared and took care of Shake so much during filming. His anxiety levels were so high. I like calmed him down. I would walk his dog, make him breakfast, like pack his lunches. Like I just put so much of my time and energy into that relationship. And so to see that he treated me that way and talked about me that way, it's just like disheartening and it's kind of sad. It sucks. Yeah, no, we agree. Your brother had a lot to say. It came out, it had some harsh words. I assume you must be very grateful that he said that or you, you haven't after talking to you all or now,

I wasn't sure when we would have, you know, I wasn't sure what you thought, but it sounds like you're thrilled. He came to your defense and said those things. Cause it wasn't at the time. I was like, Oh shit. He, there must be more to the story because it was some pretty harsh, harsh things he said. I know. And it's hard for, I think it's hard for my brother and my family because I am, I do put,

like, I try to see the good in people all the time and, you know, clearly it gets me in trouble and they're always trying to protect me. And they, you know, would be like, you know, I don't know if this is the person for you. He shouldn't be saying these types of things, but I always gave shake the benefit of the doubt. And my family also watched all of this for the first time over. And so they were livid because we welcomed him into our family. My brother reached out to him and would be like, hey, I know you have no siblings. So if you ever need anything, I'm here for you as a brother. So we just gave him so much love. And he reciprocated with, like, saying the harshest words. Like, it's cruel, honestly. This show going on, this experience, and we opened up with Calling You America's Sweetheart.

What was, like, the biggest takeaway for you? Like, I mean, again, it must have been so hard. I mean, you know this. You're beautiful. You're wonderful. Everyone thinks that nevertheless like it's when you when you wash yourself and you i don't care who you are you're right if someone if you were watching a show think of anyone like you know if tyler cameron everyone everyone thinks

tyler cameron's beautiful we all he's a universally adored for his looks and and if he went on a show and there was one person just constantly being like, I don't know, I'm just not attracted. I just don't like his face. I don't like this. It would just be really, honestly, hard to watch. And yet I'm wondering, how were you able to overcome that?

And where do you kind of stand now? Was there something to learn for that? Or was that kind of, did it feel unnecessarily cruel and you're still enjoying the adoration you're getting now or was there something that you've been able to take away as like a positive moment despite having to endear watching that crap like every fucking episode it's like it's almost eternal like all right what's fucking shake gonna say about me today? It sucks. It sucks to hear. But where do you stand now?

What is your perspective of your experience on the show? I honestly am so, so grateful for the show. Because I think, you know, my whole life I've been trying to build this self-esteem and confidence in myself. And the show taught me that it does not matter what other people think of you as long as you have self-worth and self-respect and confidence. You know, it's a projection of them and not a reflection of you. So honestly, I'm just grateful that I can, you know, stand proud and say that I love myself no matter what, especially what Shake thinks.

It does not matter to me because he clearly has a lot of issues and things that he needs to work on. And, you know, he was projecting that onto me the whole time because he saw me as a nice person and he thought I would be in his life forever as a friend. So he took advantage of that. But, you know, for me, I'm just so happy because after filming had wrapped, you know, my confidence was shaken a little bit and I worked on myself. I kind of like stepped away, you know, grounded myself again, started meditating and like just working out and feeling good about myself. And I'm in such a better place today. So rewatching it, yes, it hurt. But at the same time, I just am in on, like, I'm actually so proud of myself

because I'm no longer in that mental state. I'm actually happy. I'm ready to move forward and just, you know, put good out into the world. That's really what my goal is now. When people found out that you were coming on, they submitted some questions and a couple questions people had about, and I honestly quite enjoyed too. It's just like, I'm not that familiar with Indian culture. I thought it was very fascinating, the conversations around arranged marriages and love is blind because they're that almost like weird synergy. Did you feel any type of pressure?

You and Shaikh both talked about never dating someone from your culture before. You only dated white guys. You mentioned Shake said the same thing. Did this affect that experience? Did Shake give a bad taste in your mouth for being open to other Indian men? Or is that just more on Shake? Because I got a lot of questions about ask her about this and her experience with dating Shake and how that kind of maybe shape your perspective going forward on your dating life, especially within your culture. Yeah. No, honestly, it's not like I was avoiding dating an Indian man. It's just,

I didn't grow up with very many Indians around me. So like, I just never kind of had the opportunity to, I guess, like, I can't compare my experience to him and apply it to all Indian men. Absolutely not. I'm not closed off to any race whatsoever. So I'm like, I'm here, open, ready to find my soulmate, regardless of the race. Have you heard from Sheikh since this has been airing? Has he ever reached out or even tried whether you were... It would make sense that you weren't even interested in talking to him, but has he even attempted to say, hey, I'm embarrassed for my comments, et cetera, et cetera? No, it's actually kind of frustrating

because even throughout, if Shake ever needed me, I've been there for him. Sometimes he calls me when he watched an episode or something and he's like, I'm really upset about this. I'm like, what's wrong? I'm the one who should be upset. so wait he he would call you after the episodes and talk about shit he was upset with without even coming about the shit he was saying about you honestly after finale he tried to call me and you know what it was just embarrassing and even a reunion you guys

will see it i tried to talk to him but just has, he lacks so much self-awareness and he thinks he's like a character on a TV show. Like this is real life and real people's feelings. And it's just frustrating. And he's constantly trying to blow me up now, like, and posting pictures of me from back after filming had wrapped. And like, he's kind of like insinuating on social media that we are like amicable or that we're friends and it's just frustrating yeah and I'm trying not to engage because that's what he wants he wants my energy even if it's negative or positive he wants something from me and you know I'm just like I've I've had it I'm. I've had enough with him. So you kind of almost felt like he, you know, coming from Bachelor Nation there for the wrong reasons, so to speak, that he was

more into the TV show aspect than a sincerity in terms of making this kind of human connection. Exactly. I mean, you'll see in the finale when I say, I also say to my mom, let's celebrate because, you know, I wanted to celebrate this experience and this friendship that we had built. It's unique to us and it bonds us, but he was celebrating his friends. He wanted to party. He didn't, it clearly shows that he didn't care about me. He cared about the situation. When we first met Shake, it was i think the overwhelming opinion was the douchebag the dj the whole you know girl on the shoulders concert like and then at your expense as he talked about like oh well i see you know she's such a good person you know it was annoying at you know again at your expense having him to talk

about overcoming you know like his lack of physical attraction but you wanted it's like you almost wanted to try to give him the benefit down like oh maybe this guy is growing and i i really it was when when you left the altar and they went back to shake, I was really hoping some sort of like, you know what? I fucked up. I had this amazing person in front of me. I was about to propose. I'm heartbroken. You know what? She does deserve better. She made the right choice. Or I have to respect her choice at all, but I lost something special and I realize that now, some humility from him. He showed no humility. I think for most people, and I'm curious if you felt the same way, and it sounds like you do, that it kind of showed us that Shake was the person we first met in episode one and not

the person we were wondering if he was trying to be, if that makes sense. Absolutely. And that's exactly it for me. You know, I try to see the good in him. And, you know, despite my cast members and my family telling me, you know, you don't really talk like that, you know, but I thought I saw some depth in him. And so when we would talk privately, you know, he would compliment me a lot and say, you know, I'm kind of learning from you and yada, yada. So I thought there could be some progress in his mindset. But sadly, I think like, it takes so long to change, right? He's about to be 34 this year to kind of like rewire your brain when you've been thinking a certain way for your

whole life. Three weeks is not going to be enough time to change. And I think I was naive to think that he would. And yeah, it just takes time, but it starts with self-awareness. If you don't think you have a problem, then how are you going to fix anything? And right now he still hasn't apologized to me personally or to my family. So, family. So for him to just be on social media saying, oh, I know I have made mistakes. Well, the first thing in admitting that you made a mistake is to maybe apologize to the person that you fucked with. I mean, I shouldn't say I'm shocked. I don't know the guy at all, but it's really disappointing. It's not that hard to be like, hey, even if he wanted to make an excuse about like i didn't mean to say

this or it's not what i meant he could at a minimum saying he didn't he had no sense up to your point self-awareness to empathize what it would be like for you to hear something like that you know i can't imagine what it'd be like for him to go on a show in every episode someone and people have a right to not be attracted to someone. That's not the point. Absolutely. Right? But it was just like, hey, I'm sorry you had to hear that. That wasn't my intention.

I got caught up in the moment. I didn't realize. I should not have said that. It must have been really hard to hear. I am sorry. Obviously, you know, something like that. It was like, bro. And nothing like that.

That's so disappointing. Nothing. Not one thing. It was like, bro. Nothing like that. That's so disappointing. Nothing. Not one thing. It's always about him. And I'm like, all right, I'm done with this relationship. There's nothing here. Well, I only have one final question for you before we let you go. And I think it's a burning question people want to know. One, is there anything going on between you and sal and two if not are your dms open what's your love life looking now uh where are we at how are things going yeah i mean things are good i mean honestly i'm working on myself and i've built so many amazing friendships sal and i are not together we're just we're just friends. I think it's funny, the speculation.

But all I can say is tune into Reunion and maybe you'll find out a little bit more. What a tease. What a tease. All right. Well, thank you for your time, Deep D. We wish you nothing but the best. No doubt that you are going to be

turning a lot of guys away if you already aren't already. It's like, but the DMs are open. So like, The DMs are open. The DMs are open. I'm still single, but. Okay, you're still single.

Slide, be polite, be a gentleman, say hi. And thank you for letting us follow your journey, Deep D. And despite what you had to go through, you were definitely, I think, honestly, like a real inspiration to a lot of people. I love how you said to choose yourself and really love that moment from your mom. It was really, really great.

And so many people get in these relationships and we try to make it work. We feel like we've invested in something and we will look the other way when things don't feel right. And I'm so glad that you trusted your gut and chose yourself and you seem like you're all the better for it. Absolutely. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me. I really appreciate it. Oh, likewise. You did us a favor. So thank you for taking the time. We know you're real busy right now and it's been a lot of fun on our end. So thank you so much.

Awesome. Thank you. All right. Take care, Deepthi. Take care. All right. Bye-bye. Wild stuff from Deepthi. Wow. She's wonderful. Not good, Shake.

He got a good edit. That is what she said. A good edit, people. When she said that, she almost caught me off guard. I was like, what do you mean he got a good edit? I loved watching Nick's face throughout that entire interview. It was my favorite. I was just like, oh, oh, he got a good edit. You know what I'm saying? It didn't register at first, and we also heard a producer who was on the

call confirmed that that is indeed the biggest takeaway from all of the cast not just Deep D this is not just Deep D is not

this is not a scorned person who's throwing shake under the bus it is everyone in the cast thinks

unanimous we were told unanimously shake gotta get at it and that is the takeaway from the entire cast of

Love is blind too thanks to deep d and shana for all that insight let's get to our mediation call how's it going good good all right you guys are in different locations so that's why you guys for audience why uh they were talking over each other not because they're fighting all right right. Who's who? My name is Liz. I'm 33. I'll be 34 next week. Okay. And you, sir? I'm Mike. I'm 34. Okay. Who wants to start and share the issue? I'll just keep it basic. I am somewhat recently divorced. It's been a couple of years almost. And Mike is my first boyfriend after my divorce. And he's, and I think I said this before, really great, super, our relationship is really

good. It's probably the healthiest one I've ever had for being as young as I am, which I appreciate. And we do a really good job of communicating most of the time. I have two daughters. They are almost 14 and eight, and he has no children. So it's been kind of a transition in that part of our relationship, just learning, going from pretty much taking care of himself to helping me with them and being involved in that capacity with kids. And for the most part, it's really, really good. We have an issue that kind of recurs where 14 and 8 are tough ages, 14 specifically for a girl. And she has a lot of issues that I have to deal with. And we butt heads and get in arguments and things that typically happen with a mom and a daughter. And when he's there, he has this drive to help people constantly, which is a good thing. But because he wants to help, he sort of interjects a lot in those types of discussions. And I think it's just learning or looking for some advice for how I can maybe make him feel validated and heard for what he thinks without disrupting those types of interactions if that

makes sense yeah how long has been dating for a year every year okay a while now and as far as like you being divorced like it's it's like that that like that's over and done with it's not like we've moved on there's no like residual like elements of like the divorce or anything like that in terms of dealing with your ex-husband um no not really um i my ex-husband and i have both came into our relationship as co-parents so we both had kids from a previous relationship and then share a daughter so i actually have two two exes with both of my daughters, which is complicated enough. But no, they're not really,

they're not an issue as far as our relationship is concerned. We don't have residual problems or anything like that. And Mike, what's your perspective on the situation? Pretty accurate, but I'd love to hear it from you just because it's, yeah, I'd love to hear it from you just because it's yeah I'd love to hear it from you. Yeah I never like to sit back and kind of watch the situation I like to find a time to you know put in my two cents. You're a guy. I know. We all have that just like inherent need of like, I have something to say. Yeah. I always think I have a point of view or a better option or just,

you know, a different way to see things. Does it matter what Mike's take is or you would just like, is it, do you get more frustrated if he's like taking your daughter's side or is it about like, is he almost trying to mediate like a fight between the two of you like what is the thing that seems feels the most triggering

so the thing that's i think the most triggering to me is probably twofold first off he does a really good job of backing me for the most part like he's a lot of times i think his intentions are really really good like he's trying to back me up and be like, yes, you should listen to your mom because X, Y, Z. But unfortunately what tends to happen because my older daughter specifically has had a really not a great relationship with my ex-husband who I was with for 10 years, a lot of her life. And so she has some residual, I think, her 10 years a lot of her life and so she has some residual I think I don't want to call it trauma but some past experiences with that so she doesn't want she like when she's upset she doesn't want to hear him talk at all and she likes him they have a good relationship again they're still

building it's only been a year it's going to take more time than that especially for a 14 year old who hardly likes me most of the time she turns kind of and and because he's even talking she listens even less and she sort of checks out and she's like who are you like why are you like she's not rude she's got good manners but she's still like it just it sort of derails the conversation in my opinion that's how like kind of it feels to me like i'm trying to get a point across and while he's trying to help then i have to then i find myself and this is me admitting my own fault shushing him in front of my kids which i don't want to do like i never want to make him feel like i don't appreciate his input because i do but i think it's finding the right time to give it if that makes

sense you said it's an ongoing issue you you've asked mike to to not mike what's stopping you from from from maybe picking a different time to interject i have learned over the last few months to not say anything or maybe come in later i guess it's kind of hard it's just gonna take take some uh are you like in the room with them like are you able to like walk outside because i i mean it's a real thing i don't know if our dna is guys like problem solvers i love how steve harvey i saw steve harvey say this once in a talk show where they were and and he acknowledged that men try to be fixers and he said like listen the good news like yeah we as men i think we all need to work on that but you have a real problem when men stop trying to fix it you know when they're like you know i don't even

care now is that an excuse to like never learn and and pick our battles and realize that maybe we're not always meant to be the knight in shining armor or the hero. And I think that's something that us men struggle with the most is just because we have the right solution doesn't mean we need to say it when we say it. And I think that's something I've trust me i've had to i've had to learn this too and i i still i learned that i have to learn this i mean i have a show where people call in for my advice so imagine when i'm out in the real world or in my relationship and and i feel like i have something helpful to say not always not always like wanted as you know

uh it works on this show. People will call it an ask, you know, but I, I've had to learn that if they're, if they're not asking, it can be kind of annoying. Um,

I, I agree with that. I always, if me and Liz are having an argument or a disagreement, I think I am right. A hundred percent. And then it ends up being most of the time she is right. Yeah. or a disagreement, I think I'm right 100%. And then it ends up being most of the time she is right. Yeah.

But I think it's also too, even if you are in fact right, it's just a matter of there's a time to be right and there's a time to be quiet. I've learned in relationships. I mean, and thankfully, sometimes Natalie, it's a couple of times she's been like, I'm not asking for your help. I'm asking you to listen. And there's sometimes like, I think as men, we have to work on to like, sometimes people just want to vent and part of our role is to not always do that. And I think it's, I don't know, it's fascinating that some, it's like

generally a thing that a lot of men struggle with i think maybe to help help you out um because it sounds like you recognize that you just need to like not do it as much and i'm and i said it's not as i don't i'm not a parent i i don't know but like assuming this relationship continues to flourish you guys keep dating and you mentioned that you have a good relationship with her daughter i would hate for you to inadvertently you know make yourself the enemy of a 14 year old you know kind of like you said where it's just like you know despite you maybe having a helpful solution in the moment like chances are her mom and her dad will figure it out. And I don't mean this to sound condescending, but she probably doesn't need your input,

even if it is helpful. So I only say that because it might help you bigger picture-wise. Just pick your battles because I would rather have her daughter, especially if this relationship continues to flourish, think of you as someone, you know, be the ally where, you know, when she's mad at her mom and mad at her dad, that she can come to you and be someone you still, that's when you give the advice. Cause you know how sometimes in every relationship, and I'm sure you guys can relate and doesn't, you'll be fighting with your partner right and and you'll say something but but if you only did x y and z and then your partner in the middle of a fight will will just like completely dismiss it that's crazy that's nuts how could you say that and then like two days later you'll be chill you won't be fighting and

your friend will offer you a bit of advice that you'll go oh that's really that's really helpful and then you'll say that to your partner and your partner's like i fucking said that's what that's what i said i was saying that what are you talking about like i feel like every right you guys relate to this that this happens all the time in relationships and so what i'm saying to you mike is be that friend right and? And being that person is being that person at a different time when emotions aren't high, when they don't want to hear from just another person how wrong they are. When we're in a fight, we're looking for allies. That's why we go to our friends to talk about our relationships and our partners, and we

vent, and we seem to be more open to what they say because we assume that they're an ally. We don't assume that they're an adversary and you're inadvertently making yourself an adversary to her daughter. And like, you don't, you don't need to be right because she'll figure it out. And so when you have that,

I told her I wanted to be a best friend yeah someone they can rely on versus you know a parental figure but you just keep finding myself trying to help you got to learn how to bite your you got to learn how to bite your tongue and when you have that like i know the solution here make a mental note and and and then build that rapport with her daughter not right away but like later on you can say hey you know and try to give her that advice about something that maybe isn't related to her mom you know like like giving advice i've learned it's all about someone's willingness to receive it and if they're not like it's it's just useless like you're just honestly wasting your breath by giving this solution that you know is right to the person who's not hearing it.

It just doesn't work. You might as well be talking to a wall. And so when it's happening, don't we all hate repeating ourselves? Why does repeating ourselves feel like running a mile? It does. Literal parental worst nightmare too. I know like coming, I know you don't have kids, but like that doesn't get any better

when you do. No, I hate repeating myself. And as someone who's absent-minded and aloof and in my thoughts, Natalie has to repeat herself all the time. And I get frustrated repeating myself. I can only imagine what I put my girlfriend through. We all hate repeating ourselves. So Mike, as human beings, you won't have to repeat yourself.

You can save that nugget of wisdom that you have and you know you're right. Just save it for another time where you're not in the middle of a fight. And that way you can feel a little bit more like you are helping. You can be that friend. When you focus on being that friend, be the friend that she goes to to vent to her mom, vent about her mom rather. And you know Mike's going to have she and you know you're you're mike's gonna have your back so you're not worried about that but she you kind of just trick a 14 year old into thinking you know they're your friend and and that's when you drop that wisdom or advice i don't

know i mean i'm not a parent but i feel like that might be a better solution and you'll just save yourself that energy but be the person that gives the advice that uh she's already hearing from her parents she doesn't want to listen to yeah that's i think that's great that goes on in my mind too well just now you have to execute man now you have to follow through i'll release the nugget when the emotions aren't so escalated also like yeah step outside i will i will say last night last night there was a pretty highly emotional conversation between me and her and i did notice even just having talked about it and knowing we were coming on here to talk to you and all that like i did notice a little bit of a

difference like i thought he's actively like i could tell because you didn't say anything or he didn't say anything like i could tell you anything. Like I could tell you were trying. So I think that that's just like practicing that maybe. And then me also checking myself and learning, continuing to learn over and over again about talking about it later and not getting more frustrated in the moment. Yeah. I mean the shushing sucks, but Hey, I feel you. Like there's nothing like, I mean, yeah, I get it.

If you're being hard on yourself don't do that but I can appreciate when someone's asked trying to help but it's not helpful it can be very frustrating but also yeah Mike try to leave the room can you just like step outside or get your like make it easy

on yourself don't try to have to bite your tongue just go somewhere else you know like lock myself in a room yeah I don't try to have to bite your tongue just go somewhere else you know like myself in a room yeah yeah go uh i don't know yeah i uh i look forward to being a father one day but i i don't look forward to having teenagers it um it's a lot the chapter of the baby books they leave out yeah um i don't know. Hopefully this was a little bit helpful, but I feel like we can turn this problem

into an opportunity and just kind of change your approach a little bit. And it might be an opportunity to kind of, again, be that friend or bring you closer to her daughter and be someone she can go to when she's frustrated at her parents.

And don't worry about solving that problem. Actively choose to be the friend. You're not going behind her back or anything like that. You want to make it a safe place for her. Because right now, you're making yourself a safe like you want to make it a safe place for her because right now you're making yourself kind of an adversary and even though you're trying to help and you know like build on that

good rapport that you have and maybe even throw a little support her way when she's in a fight probably maybe not I don't know but like you'd want you know that way you can try to at least give that advice when you have it when she's willing to receive it as opposed to a time where she's just completely shut off. Because whether you're 14 or 40, if you're not interested in hearing it, it's not going to matter how smart it is.

Gandhi could show up at your door or Jesus. And if you're in a bad mood and you don't want to hear it, you'd just be like, nah, who asked you, Jesus? I feel like most of us would. you're in a bad mood and you don't want to hear it, you'd just be like, ah, who asked you Jesus? Um, like I feel like most of us would like, if we don't want to hear it, we're just, we're not gonna, we're not going to be in the mood.

So, all right, guys, I appreciate it. I think that's great. Uh, well, thanks for calling in.

Hopefully this was helpful. Best of luck with everything. You guys seem like a wonderfully happy couple and hopefully we'll be able to move through this small hiccup in the relationship. Yeah, I think so. Thank you. All right. Take care, guys. Well, thanks for

listening, guys. We want to thank Deep D and Shana. We want to thank our couple for calling in. Don't forget to send your questions at asknickatcastme.com, cast with a K for all your Ask Nick submissions forget to send your questions at asknick at castme.com. Cast with a K for all your Ask Nick submissions and your mediation questions. Need those stories so we can keep giving you the amazing show

that we hope you think is amazing. I don't know. You can always be anonymous. Pretty much everyone's anonymous if you haven't figured that out already. Subscribe. It has five stars. Next week, Jim Jeffries returns to recap The Bachelor. The Bachelor recap will be dropping Tuesday night.

Bachelor's on Monday and Tuesday next week. So our recap will drop after Tuesday's episode. We'll combine both into one. Until then, bye. you